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of"},{"term":"thankful"},{"term":"fall"},{"term":"people I admire"},{"term":"dreams"},{"term":"humour"},{"term":"new adventures"},{"term":"depression"},{"term":"inspiration"},{"term":"thoughts"},{"term":"family"},{"term":"love"},{"term":"spring"},{"term":"travel"},{"term":"winter"},{"term":"blog challenge"},{"term":"friends"},{"term":"health"},{"term":"stories"},{"term":"challenge"},{"term":"confessions"},{"term":"roadtrip"},{"term":"adventure"},{"term":"thank you"},{"term":"blogtember"},{"term":"marriage"},{"term":"Canada"},{"term":"Let's grow together"},{"term":"blogtober"},{"term":"creative"},{"term":"home"},{"term":"farm diaries"},{"term":"Christmas"},{"term":"Weekly highlights"},{"term":"horses"},{"term":"wisdom"},{"term":"anniversary"},{"term":"book"},{"term":"hospital diaries"},{"term":"self love"},{"term":"body image"},{"term":"girly"},{"term":"mental health"},{"term":"my book"},{"term":"random 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confidence"},{"term":"camping"},{"term":"catastrophe"},{"term":"chicken"},{"term":"children"},{"term":"collaboration"},{"term":"crisis"},{"term":"cruise"},{"term":"eShakti"},{"term":"fangirl"},{"term":"favourites"},{"term":"healthcare"},{"term":"kindness"},{"term":"magic"},{"term":"obsession"},{"term":"personal"},{"term":"retire-ville"},{"term":"she shed"},{"term":"the power of list making"},{"term":"tips"},{"term":"weekend"},{"term":"wildfire"},{"term":"2014"},{"term":"2015"},{"term":"Alaska"},{"term":"German"},{"term":"Valentine's Day"},{"term":"adulting is hard"},{"term":"advice"},{"term":"books"},{"term":"cellphone photography"},{"term":"childhood"},{"term":"city"},{"term":"contest"},{"term":"craziness"},{"term":"downton abbey"},{"term":"explore"},{"term":"fantasy"},{"term":"feminist"},{"term":"funny ladies"},{"term":"girl problems"},{"term":"guest post"},{"term":"house selling"},{"term":"identity"},{"term":"introspection"},{"term":"intuitive living"},{"term":"lunch date"},{"term":"mental illness"},{"term":"mindfulness"},{"term":"morning"},{"term":"networking"},{"term":"night out"},{"term":"online shopping"},{"term":"outing"},{"term":"peacock"},{"term":"personality test"},{"term":"procrastination"},{"term":"projects"},{"term":"publishing"},{"term":"recipe"},{"term":"reflection"},{"term":"relaxation"},{"term":"rest"},{"term":"sad truths"},{"term":"secret to life"},{"term":"self portrait"},{"term":"sheep"},{"term":"short stories"},{"term":"sick"},{"term":"society"},{"term":"sponsored"},{"term":"support"},{"term":"swiftlypaintedselfportrait challenge"},{"term":"things about me"},{"term":"who am I"},{"term":"wild and free"},{"term":"wild country"},{"term":"writer's block"},{"term":"2019"},{"term":"California"},{"term":"Cynthia Nixon"},{"term":"Dakota Johnson"},{"term":"Dollar Shave Club"},{"term":"Hunger Games"},{"term":"Mexico"},{"term":"Oregon"},{"term":"PMS"},{"term":"Taylor Swift"},{"term":"Weeds"},{"term":"anxiety"},{"term":"art"},{"term":"birds"},{"term":"bloglovin'"},{"term":"bloopers"},{"term":"boobies"},{"term":"boxing"},{"term":"breakfast date"},{"term":"bride-to-be"},{"term":"burnout"},{"term":"celebrate"},{"term":"childfree living"},{"term":"cleaning"},{"term":"clearly contacts"},{"term":"communication"},{"term":"compliment"},{"term":"computer magic"},{"term":"concert"},{"term":"cooking"},{"term":"coyote"},{"term":"desert"},{"term":"dream life"},{"term":"earth day"},{"term":"emotions"},{"term":"empowering"},{"term":"essentials"},{"term":"full moon"},{"term":"gift"},{"term":"gift guide"},{"term":"goatyoga"},{"term":"graduation"},{"term":"hot"},{"term":"interview"},{"term":"is this real life?"},{"term":"juicing"},{"term":"kayaking"},{"term":"lazy Saturday"},{"term":"leopard"},{"term":"lies"},{"term":"link-up"},{"term":"lucky"},{"term":"manifesting"},{"term":"manifesto"},{"term":"media"},{"term":"memories"},{"term":"mission statement"},{"term":"mother-in-law"},{"term":"motivational monday"},{"term":"my books"},{"term":"my novel"},{"term":"necklace"},{"term":"not ready"},{"term":"ocean"},{"term":"odd compliments"},{"term":"perfect-day envy"},{"term":"photography fail"},{"term":"photojojo"},{"term":"polyvore"},{"term":"problem"},{"term":"psychology"},{"term":"quiet"},{"term":"quit the hustle"},{"term":"resolve to write"},{"term":"scrapbook"},{"term":"seasonal affective disorder"},{"term":"self-discovery"},{"term":"shit happens"},{"term":"six word story"},{"term":"skipping"},{"term":"sobriety"},{"term":"suburbs"},{"term":"tag"},{"term":"therapy"},{"term":"thrifting"},{"term":"tigers"},{"term":"tongue-in-cheek"},{"term":"tour"},{"term":"type A"},{"term":"vlog"},{"term":"wedding"},{"term":"weight gain"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Miriam Verheyden"},"subtitle":{"type":"html","$t":"Creating my happy life on the other side of fear. \n"},"link":[{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#feed","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/posts\/default"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default?alt=json-in-script\u0026max-results=80\u0026orderby=published"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/"},{"rel":"hub","href":"http://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com/"},{"rel":"next","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default?alt=json-in-script\u0026start-index=81\u0026max-results=80\u0026orderby=published"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"generator":{"version":"7.00","uri":"http://www.blogger.com","$t":"Blogger"},"openSearch$totalResults":{"$t":"1142"},"openSearch$startIndex":{"$t":"1"},"openSearch$itemsPerPage":{"$t":"80"},"entry":[{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-6875382003806920386"},"published":{"$t":"2022-08-13T08:02:00.008-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2022-08-13T08:02:57.124-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"blogging"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"goodbye"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Hello and goodbye"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEgPYxbxPgYh7qjl0uR08ot0DRgZxAkdgzLIYcO6ETzeydnYbdOAjqAyEnnkhjOjwqxKlBhiX6hu20cB4oFSx4HIoE_37FRSrefQrZfV77BzCh9r8uzC0JhA4ZA-NwO2fiQZPoUMM7zX10cvPEum3DmFgRVDMzWg6FWmbHRFCqVKbfQrteHa1zQjihHk\/s1170\/298986442_10159975394412534_5164119652992882258_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"647\" data-original-width=\"1170\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEgPYxbxPgYh7qjl0uR08ot0DRgZxAkdgzLIYcO6ETzeydnYbdOAjqAyEnnkhjOjwqxKlBhiX6hu20cB4oFSx4HIoE_37FRSrefQrZfV77BzCh9r8uzC0JhA4ZA-NwO2fiQZPoUMM7zX10cvPEum3DmFgRVDMzWg6FWmbHRFCqVKbfQrteHa1zQjihHk\/s16000\/298986442_10159975394412534_5164119652992882258_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EFor a long time I didn't think this day would ever come. I thought I'd still be doing this in my sixties, happily opening up my trusty Blogger website and sharing my thoughts in this beloved space.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAlas, here we are.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe title of this post may be alarming in light of my latest Instagram post where I told you guys that I'm currently in a depression, so let me hasten to add that I'm saying goodbye to the \u003Ci\u003Eblog\u003C\/i\u003E, nothing else. I'm not giving up that easily!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut it's true: this will be my last blog post. After 9 years, 1142 published posts, many epiphanies and growth and connecting and a ton of fun, I'm gently taking off my blogger hat. There is no big, earth-shattering reason for it. It simply feels like this journey has come to its natural end.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThis blog has meant a lot to me. It helped me find out some important things about myself, big and small: that I'm\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2014\/07\/do-you-feel-alone-you-are-actually-part.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ean introvert\u003C\/a\u003E, that\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/search\/label\/outfit\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EI really like clothes\u003C\/a\u003E, that\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2018\/07\/writing-about-hard-things.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ewe all are more alike than we think we are\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've shared my insecurities, my doubts and fears, and you have come through magnificently: with love, support, advice and your own stories. I love this community so much and it has been a joy to be a part of it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOne of the main reasons why I've posted less and less over the last couple of years, and why I'm now putting the blog to rest is a joyous one: it's my book writing! As most of you know, I've published two books so far: my memoir\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.ca\/Lets-Pretend-Normal-Miriam-Verheyden\/dp\/1684016452\/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8\u0026amp;qid=1660400894\u0026amp;sr=8-2\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ELet's Pretend This is Normal\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;about how heartbreak led me to Canada and the love of my life, and \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.ca\/Quit-Hustle-overcoming-everything-yourself\/dp\/1071404741\/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1JHXHEIZ1K1EY\u0026amp;keywords=Miriam+Verheyden\u0026amp;qid=1660401020\u0026amp;sprefix=miriam+verheyden%2Caps%2C146\u0026amp;sr=8-1\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EQuit the Hustle\u003C\/a\u003E, your invitation to do less and kiss perfection goodbye.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EGuess what: I wrote a third one! It's my most honest one yet: a raw look at the reality of living with mental illness. Here's the blurb I wrote on my website\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/miriamverheyden.com\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Emiriamverheyden.com\u003C\/a\u003E:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cblockquote\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cp style=\"box-sizing: inherit; caret-color: rgb(94, 94, 94); font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan class=\"x-el x-el-span c1-88 c1-89 c1-b c1-c c1-d c1-e c1-f c1-g\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; letter-spacing: unset; text-transform: unset;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cstrong class=\"x-el x-el-span c1-1n c1-1o c1-b c1-83 c1-4b c1-5z c1-84\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; font-size: inherit !important; letter-spacing: inherit; line-height: inherit; text-transform: inherit;\"\u003EWhat is it\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/strong\u003E\u003Cspan class=\"x-el x-el-span c1-1n c1-1o c1-b c1-83 c1-4b c1-1z c1-84 c1-85\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; font-size: inherit !important; font-style: italic; letter-spacing: inherit; line-height: inherit; text-transform: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cstrong class=\"x-el x-el-span c1-1n c1-1o c1-b c1-83 c1-4b c1-5z c1-84\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; font-size: inherit !important; letter-spacing: inherit; line-height: inherit; text-transform: inherit;\"\u003Ereally\u003C\/strong\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cstrong class=\"x-el x-el-span c1-1n c1-1o c1-b c1-83 c1-4b c1-5z c1-84\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; font-size: inherit !important; letter-spacing: inherit; line-height: inherit; text-transform: inherit;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;like living with a mental illness?\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/strong\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp style=\"box-sizing: inherit; caret-color: rgb(94, 94, 94); font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan class=\"x-el x-el-span c1-88 c1-89 c1-b c1-c c1-d c1-e c1-f c1-g\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; letter-spacing: unset; text-transform: unset;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cbr style=\"box-sizing: inherit; clear: both;\" \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp style=\"box-sizing: inherit; caret-color: rgb(94, 94, 94); font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan class=\"x-el x-el-span c1-88 c1-89 c1-b c1-c c1-d c1-e c1-f c1-g\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; letter-spacing: unset; text-transform: unset;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EHow do you work, cultivate friendships, go on vacation, and simply make it through the week when your brain tells you that you are worthless?\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp style=\"box-sizing: inherit; caret-color: rgb(94, 94, 94); font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan class=\"x-el x-el-span c1-88 c1-89 c1-b c1-c c1-d c1-e c1-f c1-g\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; letter-spacing: unset; text-transform: unset;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cbr style=\"box-sizing: inherit; clear: both;\" \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp style=\"box-sizing: inherit; caret-color: rgb(94, 94, 94); font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan class=\"x-el x-el-span c1-88 c1-89 c1-b c1-c c1-d c1-e c1-f c1-g\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; letter-spacing: unset; text-transform: unset;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EHow do you live through dozens of times of being utterly convinced that your husband is dying somewhere, and that your life is over?\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp style=\"box-sizing: inherit; caret-color: rgb(94, 94, 94); font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan class=\"x-el x-el-span c1-88 c1-89 c1-b c1-c c1-d c1-e c1-f c1-g\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; letter-spacing: unset; text-transform: unset;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cbr style=\"box-sizing: inherit; clear: both;\" \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp style=\"box-sizing: inherit; caret-color: rgb(94, 94, 94); font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan class=\"x-el x-el-span c1-88 c1-89 c1-b c1-c c1-d c1-e c1-f c1-g\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; letter-spacing: unset; text-transform: unset;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EAnd how do your relationships survive when you get regularly swept up by violent rages that make you pick vicious fights with the people you love most?\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp style=\"box-sizing: inherit; caret-color: rgb(94, 94, 94); font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan class=\"x-el x-el-span c1-88 c1-89 c1-b c1-c c1-d c1-e c1-f c1-g\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; letter-spacing: unset; text-transform: unset;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cbr style=\"box-sizing: inherit; clear: both;\" \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp style=\"box-sizing: inherit; caret-color: rgb(94, 94, 94); font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan class=\"x-el x-el-span c1-88 c1-89 c1-b c1-c c1-d c1-e c1-f c1-g\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; letter-spacing: unset; text-transform: unset;\"\u003E\u003Cstrong class=\"x-el x-el-span c1-1n c1-1o c1-b c1-83 c1-4b c1-5z c1-84\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; font-size: inherit !important; letter-spacing: inherit; line-height: inherit; text-transform: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EThis book takes you into the flawed brain of someone who's living with anxiety, depression, and PMDD.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/strong\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp style=\"box-sizing: inherit; caret-color: rgb(94, 94, 94); font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan class=\"x-el x-el-span c1-88 c1-89 c1-b c1-c c1-d c1-e c1-f c1-g\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; letter-spacing: unset; text-transform: unset;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cbr style=\"box-sizing: inherit; clear: both;\" \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp style=\"box-sizing: inherit; caret-color: rgb(94, 94, 94); font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan class=\"x-el x-el-span c1-88 c1-89 c1-b c1-c c1-d c1-e c1-f c1-g\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; letter-spacing: unset; text-transform: unset;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EIt's an intimate look behind the mask of bright smiles and pretending that everything is fine that so many of us with mental illness have mastered so well.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp style=\"box-sizing: inherit; caret-color: rgb(94, 94, 94); font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan class=\"x-el x-el-span c1-88 c1-89 c1-b c1-c c1-d c1-e c1-f c1-g\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; letter-spacing: unset; text-transform: unset;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cbr style=\"box-sizing: inherit; clear: both;\" \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp style=\"box-sizing: inherit; caret-color: rgb(94, 94, 94); font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan class=\"x-el x-el-span c1-88 c1-89 c1-b c1-c c1-d c1-e c1-f c1-g\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; letter-spacing: unset; text-transform: unset;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003ESet in the unprecedented times of the last few years, this work takes the reader through the turbulent events of one healthcare worker’s experience of working through a pandemic, while simultaneously having to deal with the catastrophic wildfires and floods British Columbia experienced.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp style=\"box-sizing: inherit; caret-color: rgb(94, 94, 94); font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan class=\"x-el x-el-span c1-88 c1-89 c1-b c1-c c1-d c1-e c1-f c1-g\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; letter-spacing: unset; text-transform: unset;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EIt recounts two near-death experiences, mystery illnesses, snowstorms and heat waves, puppies, and drinking through it all in an effort to make it more bearable.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp style=\"box-sizing: inherit; caret-color: rgb(94, 94, 94); font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan class=\"x-el x-el-span c1-88 c1-89 c1-b c1-c c1-d c1-e c1-f c1-g\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; letter-spacing: unset; text-transform: unset;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cbr style=\"box-sizing: inherit; clear: both;\" \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp style=\"box-sizing: inherit; caret-color: rgb(94, 94, 94); font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan class=\"x-el x-el-span c1-88 c1-89 c1-b c1-c c1-d c1-e c1-f c1-g\" style=\"box-sizing: inherit; letter-spacing: unset; text-transform: unset;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EThis book takes you on the wild ride that is surviving and thriving with mental illness. It chronicles what works, what doesn’t work, and most importantly of all: that a happy life is possible, no matter the challenges. \u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp style=\"box-sizing: inherit; caret-color: rgb(94, 94, 94); color: #5e5e5e; font-family: Lato, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/blockquote\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI just finished it on July 26, and I submitted it to three different Canadian publishers for consideration. It would be a dream come true to have one of them publish it, but even if that route doesn't work out, this book \u003Ci\u003Ewill \u003C\/i\u003Ebe sent out into the world. It's too important a topic not to be read by people who need to know that there is light in the darkness. I am very proud of it.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo no, you haven't read the last of me. Writing is my passion and I will never stop! Writing non-fiction feels a bit like writing blog posts, just really, \u003Ci\u003Ereally\u003C\/i\u003E long ones 😁\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEgHurIR-23BW1zdNzgxRGM9n-gI9atDz6d7ol_jvsVZYd06upDBcBTUFXlvuwekS2WItV5wf2v47aT47jTnBT56ZeueN7GRTpHnhiy-np2F8C1B3hemnLVkyyT0ugbclIsdZByEwcEEkOzSlwfz2XiaoCMOlmKmfja3yHCKKtLyLiq6AiqDR6K1dUGt\/s1440\/298876806_10159975394277534_3401029600710785385_n.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEgHurIR-23BW1zdNzgxRGM9n-gI9atDz6d7ol_jvsVZYd06upDBcBTUFXlvuwekS2WItV5wf2v47aT47jTnBT56ZeueN7GRTpHnhiy-np2F8C1B3hemnLVkyyT0ugbclIsdZByEwcEEkOzSlwfz2XiaoCMOlmKmfja3yHCKKtLyLiq6AiqDR6K1dUGt\/s16000\/298876806_10159975394277534_3401029600710785385_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI will keep the blog live for the foreseeable future, maybe forever. It's an important part of me and I like to know that it's living out its days like an old retired horse on a green pasture, happily grazing and lazing in the sun, not worrying about a thing.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'll keep posting and sharing on\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/miriamverheydenwriter\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;and\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E, and I'm resurrecting\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/tinyletter.com\/Farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Emy newsletter\u003C\/a\u003E. And keep an eye out for my latest book! I'll shout it from the rooftops when I know more about how it will get out into the world.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt has been an honour and a blast to be here for the past 9 years. Thank you all so very much for everything you have done for me, and a special shoutout to Michelle D, whose comment on\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2017\/11\/taking-absentmindedness-to-next-level.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ethis post\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;may very well have saved my husband's life. I will never forget what you did for us.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EFarm Girl out!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMuch love,\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMiriam\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/miriamverheydenwriter\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E. \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/6875382003806920386\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2022\/08\/hello-and-goodbye.html#comment-form","title":"4 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/6875382003806920386"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/6875382003806920386"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2022\/08\/hello-and-goodbye.html","title":"Hello and goodbye"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEgPYxbxPgYh7qjl0uR08ot0DRgZxAkdgzLIYcO6ETzeydnYbdOAjqAyEnnkhjOjwqxKlBhiX6hu20cB4oFSx4HIoE_37FRSrefQrZfV77BzCh9r8uzC0JhA4ZA-NwO2fiQZPoUMM7zX10cvPEum3DmFgRVDMzWg6FWmbHRFCqVKbfQrteHa1zQjihHk\/s72-c\/298986442_10159975394412534_5164119652992882258_n.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"4"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-9166862765797872859"},"published":{"$t":"2022-05-11T06:20:00.008-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2022-05-11T07:08:13.443-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sobriety"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Why I quit drinking"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEhI8uwp3YkAaO5QwIqsmHGi7L4fz9BRBGmkoioa310Va1dP4cbEKimFv7a5A1oNkyXn4_QHuffeT5vkqtOLgUvIm9dZFLRjD9sy3d1fIXReYVfBIYcWeLuL7O7T1ybfBJOoqK44fLhKL7n2s1bazF-iBlFRvwNmXZ7y3xFaRDPOWGeLiugr130vjVtd\/s736\/Yoga%20and%20wine.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"448\" data-original-width=\"736\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEhI8uwp3YkAaO5QwIqsmHGi7L4fz9BRBGmkoioa310Va1dP4cbEKimFv7a5A1oNkyXn4_QHuffeT5vkqtOLgUvIm9dZFLRjD9sy3d1fIXReYVfBIYcWeLuL7O7T1ybfBJOoqK44fLhKL7n2s1bazF-iBlFRvwNmXZ7y3xFaRDPOWGeLiugr130vjVtd\/s16000\/Yoga%20and%20wine.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOn a snowy weekend in early December of last year I was watching \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Ci style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd Just Like That\u003C\/i\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E, the sequel to \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Ci style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESex and the City\u003C\/i\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E. I'm a big SATC fan, and to my delight the revival turned out to be just as good as the original (and much better than the movies if you ask me). I particularly love Miranda in the new show, whose style has come a long way from the stuffy suits and severe hair she wore in her thirties. I'm obsessed with her outfits and love that she rocks her grey hair, but what really got to me was how they portrayed her drinking.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's done so subtly: a smuggled bottle of wine at a piano recital here, a shot to calm her nerves before a speech there, being the first to finish her glass of wine at a restaurant when your companion's glasses are still half full. It was done so well that I didn't notice it for the first few episodes until Charlotte finds the mini bottles of booze in Miranda's backpack and starts voicing her concerns to Carrie. My first reaction was \"Charlotte is such an interfering drama queen, always blowing everything \u003Ci\u003Eway\u003C\/i\u003E out of proportion\" - but when I heard myself think that, my next reaction was \u003Ci\u003Euh-oh.\u003C\/i\u003E\u0026nbsp;Houston, we have a problem. \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEguTqi4yGKNH93RCQOfc5QdxjiWFA6HuDVaaqzw8iDDsLiCFkfG01h-ABsuhy_sdQpnlby2fIF1KX1JUJgyBZdxM049muwT2fIuIXRrDBj8r2XRX0Tlg83Xv7b3158x0qmjZ4SfWP8OV84k-0gLJxQzDcmwJf0KswxI5RWCAy40IWTLWRBMlsf_POuZ\/s1704\/cynthia-nixon_0.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1278\" data-original-width=\"1704\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEguTqi4yGKNH93RCQOfc5QdxjiWFA6HuDVaaqzw8iDDsLiCFkfG01h-ABsuhy_sdQpnlby2fIF1KX1JUJgyBZdxM049muwT2fIuIXRrDBj8r2XRX0Tlg83Xv7b3158x0qmjZ4SfWP8OV84k-0gLJxQzDcmwJf0KswxI5RWCAy40IWTLWRBMlsf_POuZ\/s16000\/cynthia-nixon_0.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI had long been unhappy with my drinking. I was looking forward to my wine at the end of the day a little too much, you know? I always had wine in the house, just in case. In case of what? A sudden wine shortage? If the pandemic taught us anything it was that we didn't have to worry about that: when everything was closed, liquor stores remained open, doing a booming business.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EThere were plenty of times when I promised myself to only have two glasses, but ended up drinking four or five instead. Or when I had the day off, and we cracked open a bottle shortly after lunchtime \"because it's 5 o'clock somewhere\". Drinking and cleaning house was one of my favourite things to do on days off, because swigging wine makes the tedious chore of dusting and mopping floors a lot more fun!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd cooking with wine? The best. Just to clarify, I mean drinking wine while cooking, not putting the precious wine into the food (what a waste). Countless movies and commercials taught me that this is sophisticated behaviour, and who doesn't want to feel sophisticated?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe thing is, according to the alcohol-obsessed world we live in, I was fine. In our friend group I was by no means the heaviest drinker; quite the opposite. I didn't drink every day. Sometimes I really did only have one glass of wine. I never drank hard liquor. I never drank when I was on call and I didn't overdo it when I had work the next day.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI never drank in the morning or on planes (weird distinction, but getting loaded at airports and on airplanes is a thing).\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI didn't have the shakes or any physical dependency.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEiZE61EZCqg-UhUBOCQeHurwZua4dl7-Bm6hB-woFX5XmSk74RR-HRQBp93M_BM_f5KdDkybYSnQ0nxropt0NCb8lPBCQ4mZofSHyvte5e2ACv0OKNq2a-RxSjt7G-904diJT4qxqQvG4tqGkJjRgi2BQ5ztsQGKVKmMIzNgBJRqekXXMp9iIMlGU86\/s2048\/280485644_10159817226722534_4776777786137311390_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1536\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEiZE61EZCqg-UhUBOCQeHurwZua4dl7-Bm6hB-woFX5XmSk74RR-HRQBp93M_BM_f5KdDkybYSnQ0nxropt0NCb8lPBCQ4mZofSHyvte5e2ACv0OKNq2a-RxSjt7G-904diJT4qxqQvG4tqGkJjRgi2BQ5ztsQGKVKmMIzNgBJRqekXXMp9iIMlGU86\/s16000\/280485644_10159817226722534_4776777786137311390_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003EBut what happened more often than I'd like to admit was that I had stupid fights with my husband. When I had been drinking I would wake up every night at 2am with a severe case of self-loathing and shame. I can't overstate how awful those wake-ups were: I was drowning in self-hate and humiliation, even if nothing bad had happened. I felt like I was losing myself.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI don't know if you know, but you waste a \u003Ci\u003Elot\u003C\/i\u003E of time when you drink regularly. I would have all these plans of what I wanted to do after work: do yoga, write a few hundred words for my novel, cook a nice meal. But when I walked into the door the wine was calling my name from the fridge, and my brain, knowing that there was no quicker way to receive a dopamine hit than getting some alcohol in my bloodstream would fire up on all cylinders: it would awaken the beast (aka my craving).\u0026nbsp;\u003Ci\u003EJust one glass\u003C\/i\u003E it would whisper seductively, \u003Ci\u003Eyou deserve it\u003C\/i\u003E. Yes, I did, didn't I? I was working hard, driving hundreds of kilometres every day, doing a damn fine job if I say so myself. What was the harm in one glass? Wasn't a glass of wine a day good for your heart? You could read that anywhere. Nine times out of ten I'd give in, still thinking that I could do yoga and write after I had my relaxing glass of wine.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWell, dear reader, sometimes that did happen. Just like it sometimes snows in May (we had snow last Sunday, so I'm speaking from experience). But most of the time I would adopt a mindset you may be familiar with: the fuck-it attitude. The fuck-it attitude feels \u003Ci\u003Eamazing\u003C\/i\u003E in the moment. \"Fuck it, I'll have another glass and I don't \u003Ci\u003Ecare\u003C\/i\u003E\" you say to yourself, feeling like a rebellious rockstar. You're so badass and wild!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAfter glass number two the ship for yoga and writing had sailed.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEjDsvwcIK2GUHLvfP5Ynj1ageDpJ90_AH5m1v6pXgu66khSd_6oNfhS1Ednm_1oisrGAar-lE-cSlzJAI2-wHyR3tG9VQBsPOAtoVw9-tcfHUsSbYbrVxQiS7Q9DE7U4uG-t6vgGv9A4cjjoMw6YNrXFiVZHVgyC89Pm1T9wbVDU4zOMuQpAh7fUjb-\/s2048\/11700676_10153393553542534_5274320231004289152_o.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1365\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEjDsvwcIK2GUHLvfP5Ynj1ageDpJ90_AH5m1v6pXgu66khSd_6oNfhS1Ednm_1oisrGAar-lE-cSlzJAI2-wHyR3tG9VQBsPOAtoVw9-tcfHUsSbYbrVxQiS7Q9DE7U4uG-t6vgGv9A4cjjoMw6YNrXFiVZHVgyC89Pm1T9wbVDU4zOMuQpAh7fUjb-\/s16000\/11700676_10153393553542534_5274320231004289152_o.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003EThe rest of the night would follow a predictable pattern: more wine, watching old shows I'd seen before (because you can't follow the plot of a new one), sometimes eating dinner, sometimes not. Then the 2am self-loathing session, followed by the resolve to not drink the next day.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EShampoo, rinse, repeat ad infinitum.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EGuys, it was so boring. As was Googling every few months if I was an alcoholic, which usually reassured me that I wasn't (the not drinking daily and not in the morning will save your ass every time). I'm not convinced that these quizzes aren't created by the alcohol industry, but that's a topic for another day.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt was such a colossal waste of time. Especially when I was sitting around with our drinking buddies and they were all going on and on about all the things they were going to do, which we all knew would never happen.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhy? Because drinking shrinks your world. Without you noticing it slowly gets smaller, your anxiety gets bigger, and as a result you do none of the things that require some courage. But when you have a few drinks in you you will \u003Ci\u003Etalk\u003C\/i\u003E about all the cool stuff you are going to do soon! Tomorrow, you will cut back and change your life.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI tried what almost everybody who has a sneaking suspicion that they're drinking too much tries: I attempted to cut back. I made tons of rules: always take a day off after a day where I drank. No drinking during the week. Stopping after two glasses. Switching from wine to cider (because it has less alcohol content). Sooner or later I'd break every single one of the rules. Enter: more self-loathing, berating myself for being a spineless person with no self control, being disgusted with myself.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAll this while I was simultaneously on a mindfulness journey of self-compassion, self-love and radical self acceptance. Talk about contradiction!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEjnfaSASrvQwuii1DgQm5GwLJ4oj5mWRSq9FqMRTYxvm0-8JI76odD8ECxiTyKN_MD-ixG8Wwl05LIDnKmNzbKuWWkDichKz28gf5jPzDbIHEwqNRaBF4NCrbZXqY0nPM4mGEc296CojcaeLdoMB-C_BhBfFC-MiGf8FsgSfHtX7mPao2vOVVm6aTrH\/s528\/118072496_10158454448952534_2067976594283802926_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"453\" data-original-width=\"528\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEjnfaSASrvQwuii1DgQm5GwLJ4oj5mWRSq9FqMRTYxvm0-8JI76odD8ECxiTyKN_MD-ixG8Wwl05LIDnKmNzbKuWWkDichKz28gf5jPzDbIHEwqNRaBF4NCrbZXqY0nPM4mGEc296CojcaeLdoMB-C_BhBfFC-MiGf8FsgSfHtX7mPao2vOVVm6aTrH\/s16000\/118072496_10158454448952534_2067976594283802926_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe beginning of the end for me was the pandemic. With the added stress, fear, and the collective \"let's all get wasted because the world is ending!\"-vibe I threw all caution to the wind. I replaced wine bottles with boxes (much more bang for the buck, and you can destroy the evidence by burning it), because if I ever wanted to escape reality it was then. Besides, everybody was drinking like crazy! There were memes and jokes about it everywhere, and it felt like something that united us while we were physically separated.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI haven't mentioned it yet, but that was always my main motivation: escape the thoughts in my head and numb the pain of being alive. Having a mental illness makes it painful to be with yourself if you haven't learnt the proper tools, and the quickest way to check out was to down a few vinos. Of course, the nasty side effect of boozing it up regularly is that after a while it makes your depression and anxiety much worse. One of the \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/CcSq6QrPFlT\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Esober accounts I follow on Instagram\u003C\/a\u003E puts it like this:\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"Drinking booze to feel happy is like lighting your house on fire to feel warm.\" Amen, sister.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBack to that day in December. I saw Miranda open the Amazon package with the book \u003Ci\u003EQuit Like A Woman \u003C\/i\u003Eand not remembering that she was the one who ordered it late at night when she was drunk. And I saw myself in her. I've done stuff I couldn't remember the next morning. I've made plans I regretted the next day, and broken promises I should have kept.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm 42, and I kept thinking where I would be at 55, Miranda's age. Would I still pound back cheap boxed wine, but maybe start earlier and earlier in the day?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWould I still dream of all the things I wanted to do, but never get around doing them because I was either too busy drinking or too busy being hungover? Would I still hang out with people I didn't really want to hang out with, just because they were drinking buddies?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd what about my health? My mental health was already going downhill faster than you could say \u003Ci\u003Echeers\u003C\/i\u003E. But what if my physical health would follow? Every morning I would inspect my face carefully in the mirror, wondering if my wine consumption showed on my face. My stomach was permanently bloated, \u0026nbsp;my cellulite was spreading from just being cute on my bum down my legs front and back; and I watched my hands with eagle eyes to check for the faintest tremor (thankfully, there never was one).\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEiJutHhjkizrutG7GOXJ8TgFyh6pTjdF6ltaB9BOr2nldKEMK5WHYgzhI60xxP6320xIjqotOAg9qMiC3ZGP5m1s1VmyiO0v42Uc566j7SglHjnNATKhSozBpVPmiT_efvmN4SUXJVCcuYDD6aLSLXvwPWQ1yaXbGTCZphSOESFACyHrfV0UnqoA4h1\/s960\/280494750_10159817225757534_4028021783798475138_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"720\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEiJutHhjkizrutG7GOXJ8TgFyh6pTjdF6ltaB9BOr2nldKEMK5WHYgzhI60xxP6320xIjqotOAg9qMiC3ZGP5m1s1VmyiO0v42Uc566j7SglHjnNATKhSozBpVPmiT_efvmN4SUXJVCcuYDD6aLSLXvwPWQ1yaXbGTCZphSOESFACyHrfV0UnqoA4h1\/s16000\/280494750_10159817225757534_4028021783798475138_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003EWhat a stupid way to live. What a waste. I was done. There was no dramatic rock bottom, no intervention, no near-death experience. I simply had enough of wasting my life that way.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cb\u003EInstead of asking myself if I was an alcoholic, I asked myself if alcohol was serving me, and the answer was a resounding \u003Ci\u003Ehell\u003C\/i\u003E no.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI had my last drink on December 30, 2021. It was the bottle of champagne my husband had bought me for Christmas - the only reason it was still there almost a week later was that I had started to quit two weeks earlier.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI drank that bottle methodically, knowing that it would be my last drink. Maybe not forever, but for a good long while.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ENow that I'm in month five I can't imagine ever \u003Ci\u003Ewanting\u003C\/i\u003E to drink again. It's the most liberating feeling! I love waking up with a clear head. I sleep amazingly with no more 2am wake-ups. My skin looks better, my bloat has gone way down, and even my cellulite is retreating - who knew that's possible?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut the best part is what it's doing for my mental health. My anxiety has gone down dramatically, and I'm learning to introduce stuff into my life like boundaries, saying no without apologizing and learning new things. I'm over 60,000 words into my new book, and I have a new curiosity for life that was missing before. I'm listening to new podcasts, reading books I've never considered reading before and I'm interested in different ways of seeing the world.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI feel like I've finally woken up after having been asleep for about half a decade. Alcohol was fun until it wasn't, and I know that I will never be able to go back to those days of infrequent, moderate drinking. It's an addictive substance, and after consuming it for long enough it \u003Ci\u003Ewill\u003C\/i\u003E get you hooked. I was there - now I'm not.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI don't call myself an alcoholic or addict. I don't consider myself to be in recovery. I don't attend AA meetings or any other program. There's absolutely nothing wrong with any of these labels, and I know that they help many people. It can be easier to stay within the safe walls of a black-and-white world: if calling yourself an alcoholic helps you not to drink, go for it!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI consider myself to be a grey area drinker. I was right in between heavy and moderate, with some days leaning more towards one end, and on others leaning towards the opposite. I probably could have kept going like that forever - maybe I would have ended up with liver disease (women are much more affected by booze than men), maybe not. I didn't want to wait around to see what happens, because you know what? I deserve better. I wanted more. More life, more adventure, more of being myself again.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEh1tAj0ax0tmpUt8kbdCoxtuHt00asuPQPDqLabgm3H3Fc9Rb5vyO4cr4dTEbg4JO8EGyL50Vo7Nz-A0nTfHK22epfoQcRo8XwCpPZCdymmZT4JeUBnnVz5SjVmmTqsmbUwm68MNHYVfCJpCi7Stl15wsEcY04Msfy9kitv44j3SLATnwbQPHfGdva1\/s960\/280818873_10159818150202534_1158426249923642984_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"734\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEh1tAj0ax0tmpUt8kbdCoxtuHt00asuPQPDqLabgm3H3Fc9Rb5vyO4cr4dTEbg4JO8EGyL50Vo7Nz-A0nTfHK22epfoQcRo8XwCpPZCdymmZT4JeUBnnVz5SjVmmTqsmbUwm68MNHYVfCJpCi7Stl15wsEcY04Msfy9kitv44j3SLATnwbQPHfGdva1\/s16000\/280818873_10159818150202534_1158426249923642984_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMy guides throughout this journey are books, as they have been my entire life. I quit with the help of Annie Grace's excellent book \u003Ci\u003EThis Naked Mind. \u003C\/i\u003EI then proceeded to read as many female-written quit-lit books as I could get my hands on, and I'm now slowly getting more active in the social media sober world. I've heard time and time again that you need community, and I wholeheartedly agree. But I don't believe that the community has to be IRL only - knowing that the authors of the books that have helped me so much are out there, living their happy sober lives is enough for me. And for all its drawbacks, social media has always been a community for me when I couldn't find people IRL who were into the same things I'm interested in. Besides, for the first little while I felt safer hiding behind a screen, being an observer rather than an active participant.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ENow that I'm feeling more settled in my alcohol-free life, I'm ready to step out of the shadows into the light (hence this blog post).\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI was so worried about quitting. Worried about never having quite the same amount of fun again, worried that I might bond less with my husband or my sister, worried that I would never be able to go to a pub or party ever again. And honestly, the first couple of months were hard. I grieved for the loss of my friend alcohol like it was a lost lover. We'd spent a lot of time together, and it was hard to say goodbye. Some of my drinking friends reacted less than pleased, and in the beginning I didn't know what to do with all this free time I suddenly had on my hands.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut guys, life is so much better for me now. I have much more inner peace than I've had before. I used to spend an extraordinary amount of time thinking about alcohol every day: should I drink today, how much, should I take a break, am I drinking too much, did I do or say something stupid, and on and on. It was exhausting. My brain is already tormenting me thanks to depression and PMDD, I didn't need the added voice from alcohol and all the angst that comes with it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've been to a couple dinner- and birthday parties since quitting, and here's what I have to say about that: if it's a good party with great people you'll have a blast. Plus, you will be wittier, enjoy the food more and actually focus properly on the conversation! And no hangover the next day! Total game changer.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut if the people aren't your cup of tea or you're not in the mood you will have no patience and want to leave. Which you can, because you simply drive yourself home! Many of us use alcohol to make a boring or uncomfortable situation more bearable, and that's out for me now. But is that really a bad thing? I call that a win, not a loss.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EInteresting side note: for a while it got worse before it got better. After years of ignoring my body and mind's cries for help by drowning them in booze, I finally listened when I stopped numbing myself.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIn March I had to take a month off work to deal with all the accumulated stress and burnout that I had never properly dealt with before. But now I'm slowly coming back stronger than before. I'm handling stuff head on. I'm actually confronting problems instead of hiding from them. Rich and I are having big plans for our future.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEjkX1Eqt-eCx5Fpiq711YlGnbPF8_eNEdsrNb3ke62bUT4OJmnhKNw2ldyRQMzfHNdzOEOvRcy6n2vSdq0jXoWstWDMzQAdwTh1YVUhm2zjOzyDdteb33wd7RLggQtz4TT3DbTA2FGFBvDCv0ESiyfnUn3iWqopVoaSUTPIb5_Ig_ZNAdtMdIq_qt_D\/s960\/280295280_10159814471027534_7347983295067872711_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEjkX1Eqt-eCx5Fpiq711YlGnbPF8_eNEdsrNb3ke62bUT4OJmnhKNw2ldyRQMzfHNdzOEOvRcy6n2vSdq0jXoWstWDMzQAdwTh1YVUhm2zjOzyDdteb33wd7RLggQtz4TT3DbTA2FGFBvDCv0ESiyfnUn3iWqopVoaSUTPIb5_Ig_ZNAdtMdIq_qt_D\/s16000\/280295280_10159814471027534_7347983295067872711_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd when I suddenly lost my corgi Lily last week, a terrible and completely unexpected loss that collapsed my entire world, I didn't do what I've done in the past: I didn't cry into a wine bottle and feel sorry for myself. I was devastated and it hurt like hell, but I sat with the pain. I cried until my eyes swelled up so much they hurt and I howled with agony, but I stayed with the feelings. And in all the sadness and misery, I also remembered so many great memories, and more than once I smiled and laughed through my tears.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI didn't expect having to grieve sober so early, but now that I have to I am more grateful than ever for not drowning my pain anymore. It was \u003Ci\u003Eso\u003C\/i\u003E much worse when I was still drinking. It amplified the pain and dulled the shine of the great memories.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou never know when your moment of clarity comes. Mine came on a snowy weekend in December, when I recognized myself in a fictional character on TV and didn't like what I saw.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd just like that ... I changed my entire life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/miriamverheydenwriter\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/9166862765797872859\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2022\/05\/why-i-quit-drinking.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/9166862765797872859"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/9166862765797872859"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2022\/05\/why-i-quit-drinking.html","title":"Why I quit drinking"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEhI8uwp3YkAaO5QwIqsmHGi7L4fz9BRBGmkoioa310Va1dP4cbEKimFv7a5A1oNkyXn4_QHuffeT5vkqtOLgUvIm9dZFLRjD9sy3d1fIXReYVfBIYcWeLuL7O7T1ybfBJOoqK44fLhKL7n2s1bazF-iBlFRvwNmXZ7y3xFaRDPOWGeLiugr130vjVtd\/s72-c\/Yoga%20and%20wine.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-8743497885781827335"},"published":{"$t":"2022-04-17T11:29:00.005-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2022-04-17T11:31:41.818-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"burnout"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"mental health"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"After the burnout"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEi8qtLoK_YNdeJs3poWkp-pLPt6VNX4f4WOttFwh3EfS_vmJnN67rvFA-mEErOha5xUVqM-T22ikLRt-J1UK3uzKoGxDBjVEVWIFeCfVJqHnMl2lLXEe_7VnWbavxZOwSbskSDDRet1ihCD7SXkQ975xtPUSSG1jL1_y6iVC1uPvzyEPzUZOmVG9qKn\/s932\/278712294_10159774378247534_5194342914921491977_n-2.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"756\" data-original-width=\"932\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEi8qtLoK_YNdeJs3poWkp-pLPt6VNX4f4WOttFwh3EfS_vmJnN67rvFA-mEErOha5xUVqM-T22ikLRt-J1UK3uzKoGxDBjVEVWIFeCfVJqHnMl2lLXEe_7VnWbavxZOwSbskSDDRet1ihCD7SXkQ975xtPUSSG1jL1_y6iVC1uPvzyEPzUZOmVG9qKn\/s16000\/278712294_10159774378247534_5194342914921491977_n-2.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's shortly after 6am on Sunday morning. I love this\u0026nbsp;time of day: the sun is\u0026nbsp;just rising, the house is quiet, everybody is still sleeping, the\u0026nbsp;world hasn't quite woken up. It's my favourite time to reflect, and there's lots to\u0026nbsp;reflect on. \u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIn two days I will return to work after 4 weeks off due to\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2022\/04\/burnout.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eburnout\u003C\/a\u003E. It's been a much-needed, precious break that has done what it was supposed to: it restored my strength and energy and helped my\u0026nbsp;overstretched nervous system to\u0026nbsp;recover\u0026nbsp;and slow down.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt was difficult to make the decision to take time off. It made me feel like a failure -\u0026nbsp;someone not as strong as the rest. If it hadn't been for my body being sick and staying sick (I had severe stomach cramps, fatigue, headaches and body aches) I would have powered through as I always have before. In a\u0026nbsp;culture where exhaustion is seen as a status\u0026nbsp;symbol, taking time to rest feels like admitting defeat.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut that's exactly what I was doing. I was defeated, and I had to take a step back.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBurnout is such a buzz word these days that it may be confusing to know how exactly it manifests, but there are certain common factors that will show up when you're\u0026nbsp;experiencing signs of burnout:\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E1. Exhaustion:\u003C\/b\u003E You are physically and mentally tired all the time. You are dreading the day ahead when you never did before. Even simple tasks feel impossibly hard. You still feel exhausted after a few days off, and you can't imagine ever having energy again.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E2.\u0026nbsp;Depersonalization\/cynicism:\u003C\/b\u003E Irritation is the name of the game. You have no patience for people, and you're constantly annoyed and on edge. You are feeling detached from your work, questioning what the point of it is. Your cynicism is\u0026nbsp;shocking,\u0026nbsp;and you flip the bird behind closed doors at an alarming rate. You mutter obscenities under your breath when (hopefully) nobody is nearby, and you are genuinely afraid\u0026nbsp;that you may explode and tell the next person who annoys you how you really feel.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E3. Reduced personal accomplishment:\u003C\/b\u003E You are doing your job less well than you normally do. Your\u0026nbsp;productivity has gone down, and with it your confidence. No matter how hard you try, you are not getting the\u0026nbsp;results you are used to. You feel like you are running in place without going anywhere. You completely exhaust yourself without achieving anything.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEg-a1Ggkd7taj1Img0MtIGApLYPDHeCsqmhSnMnZ_YSG-9p5iV_tbdtbRhL6bDg1UNP1jSfhKKeWq2_MtzndKsH-L100RbCCIyP4GBRRZQv3Z4x0yeaJ3bjs-D3xag6SI0abGAnt2ekYB1uEpR_GMUO9u4ZCfaUNcSeiAWduDFpA7gYtDpUisFwx91c\/s960\/278766903_10159775702497534_7707239701218830066_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"644\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEg-a1Ggkd7taj1Img0MtIGApLYPDHeCsqmhSnMnZ_YSG-9p5iV_tbdtbRhL6bDg1UNP1jSfhKKeWq2_MtzndKsH-L100RbCCIyP4GBRRZQv3Z4x0yeaJ3bjs-D3xag6SI0abGAnt2ekYB1uEpR_GMUO9u4ZCfaUNcSeiAWduDFpA7gYtDpUisFwx91c\/s16000\/278766903_10159775702497534_7707239701218830066_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI\u0026nbsp;experienced all three signs, and the only remedy was rest. My batteries were empty and I needed to recharge for longer than a weekend.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe first couple of weeks were a mess. My emotions were all over the place, I would cry all the time and question everything. Was this the job I wanted to continue to do? Could I do it? What if I would never\u0026nbsp;feel like myself again?\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe people from work who coordinate the details about stress leaves called me regularly (\u003Ci\u003Etoo\u003C\/i\u003E regularly for my liking), asking me how I was doing, what I was going to do, when I was going to return. I wanted to scream at them that \"I don't fucking know anything, stop asking!\", but instead I meekly kept repeating \"I\u0026nbsp;don't know yet, I'm sorry,\" over and over, wondering if I would ever have a different answer.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ETo my intense relief, things started to shift in week three. It was as if one day the blinders I didn't know I'd had on were removed, and I could see the full picture again. I could see what had led to my burnout, which is important. Without\u0026nbsp;awareness you are a helpless victim to circumstances - but once you know what the contributing factors are you can take steps to avoid them.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EA lot of things are out of our control:\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003Ethe pandemic, the staffing shortages, natural\u0026nbsp;catastrophes, politics, the economy, the assholery of people. But how we react to it is completely within our control, and that's\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003Eempowering!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cb\u003ESetting boundaries\u003C\/b\u003E is what it's all about, baby! I've made myself a list of things that I need in order to avoid getting run down again:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cul style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cli\u003ESay no, unapologetically and with conviction.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003EMake it a priority to not disappoint myself instead of being always concerned about not disappointing others (life hack from my therapist!)\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003EDo alllllll the self-care: slow morning routine, walks at lunch time, nap\/reading time after work\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003ETackle problems head on, i.e. talk \u003Cb\u003Eto\u003C\/b\u003E the person instead of \u003Cb\u003Eabout \u003C\/b\u003Ethem if there's a problem\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003ERest, lots and lots and lots of it\u003C\/li\u003E\u003C\/ul\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEhd_dmcNuHxkpixvQ9KoNE6xODaG2Ke7lRMOxEUxOC3qfRTIntlonwGXm_zYRBRPyGTg6t7Xisbbe1hAXLbsKeWVQnJbmUYOmcrA0FobkwiKUgqQGCLHDqPjIIRLdyfHM0BHw-0kWHSPPxXYdvFC_Xj_bzq50mcwAMqmDgkY4-aXnvj7mG1wAQZ27X4\/s960\/278770026_10159775785342534_8969091081660944471_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"642\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEhd_dmcNuHxkpixvQ9KoNE6xODaG2Ke7lRMOxEUxOC3qfRTIntlonwGXm_zYRBRPyGTg6t7Xisbbe1hAXLbsKeWVQnJbmUYOmcrA0FobkwiKUgqQGCLHDqPjIIRLdyfHM0BHw-0kWHSPPxXYdvFC_Xj_bzq50mcwAMqmDgkY4-aXnvj7mG1wAQZ27X4\/s16000\/278770026_10159775785342534_8969091081660944471_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EThis is forever a work in progress for me, as it is for all of us. I'm a little bit nervous to go back, but the longer I wait the harder it will be.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EWish me luck!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EHappy Easter to all of you!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/miriamverheydenwriter\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E. \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/8743497885781827335\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2022\/04\/after-burnout.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/8743497885781827335"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/8743497885781827335"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2022\/04\/after-burnout.html","title":"After the burnout"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEi8qtLoK_YNdeJs3poWkp-pLPt6VNX4f4WOttFwh3EfS_vmJnN67rvFA-mEErOha5xUVqM-T22ikLRt-J1UK3uzKoGxDBjVEVWIFeCfVJqHnMl2lLXEe_7VnWbavxZOwSbskSDDRet1ihCD7SXkQ975xtPUSSG1jL1_y6iVC1uPvzyEPzUZOmVG9qKn\/s72-c\/278712294_10159774378247534_5194342914921491977_n-2.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-456070715824766295"},"published":{"$t":"2022-04-05T19:25:00.001-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2022-04-05T19:25:48.856-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"depression"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"hospital diaries"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"mental health"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Burnout"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"line-height: 32px; margin: 0cm;\"\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEga65tv826wk5rzO5BzXoxmMrsYSzcB_jGi-hd4Aof73Z6_-SSuiCQpt0NfFB4I9R9LDwnoKydJwEdUm9-0s2qQ3U6mDACHtRUJ8S_qdV0zNY4y73LsXbiZA8raSpzUw7Cj25HnTss6rybyJdS6wrQqIo67K9jPQ52DETJSQy-n8toY_MSnNm7u7skG\/s960\/278003105_10159757146737534_3273200301803796502_n.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"539\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEga65tv826wk5rzO5BzXoxmMrsYSzcB_jGi-hd4Aof73Z6_-SSuiCQpt0NfFB4I9R9LDwnoKydJwEdUm9-0s2qQ3U6mDACHtRUJ8S_qdV0zNY4y73LsXbiZA8raSpzUw7Cj25HnTss6rybyJdS6wrQqIo67K9jPQ52DETJSQy-n8toY_MSnNm7u7skG\/s16000\/278003105_10159757146737534_3273200301803796502_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EThe stomach cramps start Friday night. Earlier I’ve taken two Naproxen for the headache I normally never get, and I’m wondering if that’s what’s giving me the cramps. I feel lousy, so I’m hoping that I won’t get called back to the hospital tonight. I’m on call every other weekend, and normally I don’t mind getting called in. But tonight I’m in agony, and the thought of having to drag my sorry ass to the hospital and help another person while I’m in so much pain makes me feel even sicker. I go to bed at eight, wishing for sleep to obliterate the pain.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003ENo such luck. I toss and turn restlessly, frequently torn from sleep when a particularly intense cramp is twisting my insides. Two hours after I went to bed I’m woken up by nausea and stumble to the bathroom to throw up. Afterwards I stand at the sink to wash my hands and rinse my mouth, and I’m appalled at my reflection: I’m pale with a green tinge to my skin, my eyes are bloodshot, and I have red spots on my cheeks and forehead. My stringy hair is pasted to the side of my head and my hands are shaking.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003EI can’t bear to look at myself any longer, so I turn off the light and shuffle back to bed.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003EI repeat this sad process several more times throughout this endless night, minus looking at myself in the mirror. Everybody has their limits, and I’ve reached mine when it comes to torturing myself.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003EFortunately I’m not getting called in either that night or all of the next day. While I’m staying in bed, carefully massaging my tummy and existing on ginger tea and dry toast, I wonder what could have caused this illness. I don’t have the typical diarrhea or fever that comes with a stomach flu. I know that it’s not food poisoning, because I had that before, and this is different. Besides, I haven’t eaten anything that may cause food poisoning, I’m sure of it. What’s going on?\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEip_GsUQOeCnZzT0bGnADjVC69EICAPPdLCd_Mt0vQN4eV5Ijp4mI7KsBlo_MjxmfbWuCX-a9sNGlRG_PX6v4a3KBktMpNPYs96K1cU9Vsy_Cnz9Gy7mnVMRCp4gugyaDBiiyAfOpB-rBEt8GO7t-WV5jl8qEADwbT2CSbxTahH166cjyROdssFlO3Y\/s2048\/278023737_10159757212647534_8701153159354025003_n.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1536\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEip_GsUQOeCnZzT0bGnADjVC69EICAPPdLCd_Mt0vQN4eV5Ijp4mI7KsBlo_MjxmfbWuCX-a9sNGlRG_PX6v4a3KBktMpNPYs96K1cU9Vsy_Cnz9Gy7mnVMRCp4gugyaDBiiyAfOpB-rBEt8GO7t-WV5jl8qEADwbT2CSbxTahH166cjyROdssFlO3Y\/s16000\/278023737_10159757212647534_8701153159354025003_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003EI’m usually a healthy person. I have a robust stomach, no chronic pain to speak of, and my energy levels are decent for a 42-year-old woman. But lately I’ve been off. I had two headaches in a week, which is more than what I ordinarily get in a year. My joints are aching, and I have a constant back ache. I’m exhausted all the time, and I feel weepy and close to tears most days. I’ve been crying in the car to and from work for no discernible reason. Sometimes it’s the burnt trees from last year’s wildfires that set me off, sometimes it’s when I pass the section on the highway where my car hit ice a couple of months ago and I thought for one terrifying, heart-stopping moment I would slide off the mountain. Sometimes I simply cry because it releases some of the terrible tension inside of me.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003EAs soon as I enter my workplace I put the mask on. The mask of being friendly and smiley and cheerful. I’ve been brought up to leave my personal problems at home, to be professional and competent.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EMy mom took it as far as to advise me to “never let them see the real you”, which is a philosophy I don’t agree with. But being professional at work is sound advice that has served me well. It’s been particularly useful working in healthcare over the last two years since the beginning of the pandemic.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EI’ve had to listen to rants about the vaccine mandate, conspiracy theories about “the plandemic (\u003Ci\u003EpLan\u003C\/i\u003Edemic because it’s been planned – get it?) being planted by the UN to eliminate 90% of the world population”, complaints about the cancellation of surgeries and reduction of services. People have regaled me at great length with their opinion about how masks are useless and don’t do anything, that the vaccine kills or leaves women infertile, how the government is a tyrant and tries to manipulate us all. And all the while I stay polite and noncommittal, provide the service I’m here for and don’t yell at them to shut the fuck up, which is what I yearn to do. I did understand their fears and frustrations at first. I was sympathetic and patient and listened, making them feel heard and validated.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003EBut lately it’s become more and more difficult. My well of patience has dried up, and I’m genuinely afraid that I will explode on someone. I’ve been working non-stop through the pandemic. I’ve driven through burning forests in the summer of 2021. We were evacuated for a week due to the wildfires, worried that we might lose everything. Roads have been closed on me while I was at work, making me panic that I might be cut off from home for days or weeks. We’ve worked short-staffed for months. I've unofficially been in charge at one of my hospitals with all of the responsibility and none of the compensation.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003EI was \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/11\/that-time-road-almost-disappeared.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eon the highway that got completely destroyed by the flood\u003C\/a\u003E on the day it happened, the angry water lapping at my tires, pieces of the road already broken off. Could I have fallen in the river and being swept away? I refuse to think about it.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003EAnd all the while I’m asked to work more.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E“Can you help out?”\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E“\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: start;\"\u003EIf you don’t take this shift your co-worker can’t see her fiancé.\"\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: start;\"\u003E\"\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: start;\"\u003EYou are the only one who is available, can you do it?”\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: start;\"\u003E“Please help, please do more, please be a friend and team-player.”\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: start;\"\u003ESo I say yes and yes and yes, thinking I can do it. I’m strong, I’m resilient, I’m tough. I’m German, I was born and raised to push through, I’ve worked through period cramps and fevers and heartbreak and a depression I didn’t know I had.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: start;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: start;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEgiSlzUw2Nfx0sFPhLJCSpSOtT0WDzSRw2gg_bBxsOs71ydoO_u1v5Qrwn8P1FvL43pb9tHlYWCiML_OFqyvq8p2CFjNrP3Gw4qzB1Z8v5aaw9UqDNTSRBo7NKkA9x8lOMW_bdMQa1pYLm3o7s2vqc6Wt6NavukNn6vKmmlIy2m8uCzopoEhmhKgi_b\/s2048\/278014121_10159757212787534_129286090074290892_n.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1536\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEgiSlzUw2Nfx0sFPhLJCSpSOtT0WDzSRw2gg_bBxsOs71ydoO_u1v5Qrwn8P1FvL43pb9tHlYWCiML_OFqyvq8p2CFjNrP3Gw4qzB1Z8v5aaw9UqDNTSRBo7NKkA9x8lOMW_bdMQa1pYLm3o7s2vqc6Wt6NavukNn6vKmmlIy2m8uCzopoEhmhKgi_b\/s16000\/278014121_10159757212787534_129286090074290892_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003EBut every few months my body goes on strike. I will wake up with my neck seized up so painfully that I can’t move. I will be bed-bound for a few days, eating muscle relaxers like candy and being secretly grateful for the break.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003EIn 2021 I got such a severe, sharp pain in my upper left back that I was afraid I was having a heart attack. I went to the ER and got thoroughly checked out by my favourite doctor who wanted to make sure he didn’t miss anything. There was nothing wrong with me physically. I stayed for several hours until the pain had faded and was sent home with strict instructions to come right back should it start again.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003EI was back at work the next day.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003EIn 2020 I lost my voice for four days. It was completely gone. My husband had to call in sick for me because I was mute.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003EIn December of that year a friend committed suicide and my mother-in-law died four days later. I didn’t miss a single day of work.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003EIn 2019 I woke up during another call-weekend feeling like death warmed over: my entire body ached, I had stomach pains, I was hot and cold and shivery. I went to the emergency department of that hospital, got checked over, and again they couldn’t find anything. The doctor gave me a shot of Toradol and told me to rest, promising that she would try not to call me in. I went home and slept the entire weekend.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003EI was the one who took the chest x-ray that diagnosed a patient with stage 4 lung cancer. She kept coming back to the ER with complications, and every time I saw her she had lost more weight and looked frailer. Three months later she was dead. I locked myself in the bathroom and cried when I found out.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003ERight around the same time I x-rayed another patient who had a tumour in his lung. He had waited to come to the hospital because he was afraid of Covid. He also had end-stage lung cancer and passed away a few months later.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEhalFM-2m1nMaYi01O_47o68usrIebt3-0HhzzlC_7rjGFcksQD4pRs7B_aihK1IPF_8_ng4XnJf_mL51Sf9XvLOnkH4P2G5KZwjPKeTMCVw683noZAcXo485fUADZdGstLbl0k-mwBm2A8BDnRqGtqYrid4bU7kiAr7zqSCZFQLk7wMajjoRichX5X\/s1170\/277768267_10159757212727534_28090715400385359_n.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"646\" data-original-width=\"1170\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEhalFM-2m1nMaYi01O_47o68usrIebt3-0HhzzlC_7rjGFcksQD4pRs7B_aihK1IPF_8_ng4XnJf_mL51Sf9XvLOnkH4P2G5KZwjPKeTMCVw683noZAcXo485fUADZdGstLbl0k-mwBm2A8BDnRqGtqYrid4bU7kiAr7zqSCZFQLk7wMajjoRichX5X\/s16000\/277768267_10159757212727534_28090715400385359_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003EOne of the nurses I work with is also an ICU nurse. Her stories about what it’s really like to die of Covid are horrific. It’s an especially stark contrast when you go from having her stories fresh in your mind to a patient who insists that Covid is fake. I’d love to send these people to her to give them a much-needed dose of reality, but of course I can’t. Besides, they probably wouldn’t believe her anyway.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003ENow it’s 2022, and I’m having these mystery stomach cramps that won’t go away. I call in sick for my shift on Monday and the pain eases a little.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003EOn Tuesday I have therapy, and boy do I need it. I start crying before I can even say hello, and she listens with great compassion. I love my therapist, and right now she’s what’s keeping me going. She’s my life raft in the storm, and I cling on with all my might. I’m telling her much of what I’ve recounted just now, and also the shameful secret I’ve been keeping: I’ve been contemplating to take a leave from work. It feels like the ultimate failure, and my parents would be appalled.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003EBut I’m at the end of my rope. I have nothing left in me to give. I’m mentally depleted and physically sick. My therapist encourages me to take the break I need. And then she says this: “You’ve been limping along with one leg in the bear trap. You have to stop. You’re bleeding out. You can’t go on like this anymore.”\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003EAs soon as we are done I call my family doctor for an emergency appointment. Later that day, with much sobbing (I can’t seem to stop crying) I tell him about my physical symptoms and the disaster zone that’s my mental health. He diagnoses burnout and recommends taking a month off work.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003EThe next day I call work and arrange for the time off. I’m riddled with guilt and a profound sense of failure – lots to talk about in my next therapy session.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003EBut it’s done. And I suddenly notice that my stomach pain that started six days ago is gone.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003EI swear my body is breathing a sigh of relief. ‘It’s about time you listen to me,’ I imagine it saying. ‘I didn’t know how to make it any clearer.’\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003ESeeing it all written out like this, the signposts spelling out that I was doing too much have been there all along. But I didn’t see them. I thought all the good advice about self-care and putting the oxygen mask on first were for other, weaker people. I assumed I was tougher than them. I liked to say that I had a mental illness, it didn’t have me. My self-worth is so tightly bound to being hard-working and not lazy, the thought of having to take time off work was terrifying.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003EUntil I didn’t have a choice. Turns out that my body is stronger than my will. Smarter, too, which is a good thing. My brain can’t always be trusted because it’s not healthy. You wouldn’t run a race with a broken leg, would you? I’ve been relying on a broken brain to make sound choices for me.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003EBut that’s done. I’ve stepped out of the hamster wheel. I’m still. And I’m taking a goddamn break.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEjQdJGb93YsIxRX8cxqnyOUI6i-kQltHuamWP7J7Hk5L5TlLouKiC8VLVoQL6KhB9gqCANLsvjRYNQJeVMjr8Ii8gNFbjaI5zcQcoqH-eQRKxB0AHylyV-ob_OB0xeJ8ZnLpJMDpyy_yVvrW94p46k6kbcRQszBQgjcU-lxPZRP2RaCL_sSYrjizIQv\/s1170\/278016464_10159757212697534_7856749764378036340_n.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"643\" data-original-width=\"1170\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEjQdJGb93YsIxRX8cxqnyOUI6i-kQltHuamWP7J7Hk5L5TlLouKiC8VLVoQL6KhB9gqCANLsvjRYNQJeVMjr8Ii8gNFbjaI5zcQcoqH-eQRKxB0AHylyV-ob_OB0xeJ8ZnLpJMDpyy_yVvrW94p46k6kbcRQszBQgjcU-lxPZRP2RaCL_sSYrjizIQv\/s16000\/278016464_10159757212697534_7856749764378036340_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Ci\u003EThis is the first chapter of the book I'm working on. It's about living with anxiety, depression and PMDD, and about life as a healthcare worker during the pandemic.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E. \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/456070715824766295\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2022\/04\/burnout.html#comment-form","title":"1 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/456070715824766295"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/456070715824766295"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2022\/04\/burnout.html","title":"Burnout"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/b\/R29vZ2xl\/AVvXsEga65tv826wk5rzO5BzXoxmMrsYSzcB_jGi-hd4Aof73Z6_-SSuiCQpt0NfFB4I9R9LDwnoKydJwEdUm9-0s2qQ3U6mDACHtRUJ8S_qdV0zNY4y73LsXbiZA8raSpzUw7Cj25HnTss6rybyJdS6wrQqIo67K9jPQ52DETJSQy-n8toY_MSnNm7u7skG\/s72-c\/278003105_10159757146737534_3273200301803796502_n.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"1"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-5238827545426708088"},"published":{"$t":"2022-03-06T17:41:00.000-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2022-03-06T17:41:26.021-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"book"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"writing"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Life Update"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEi_7D7m7cZG07sa12PwExdKXSghWYuyDYs3s1ku6TyKSbtVJE8wemnA7eEwthxstvhk1F62AKfxlYSo-3TpIsqXtNDU0R4_G90fijxspn3LyhgAUNtG6t71zJN7xo2ko6LxtA9weu4RTPO7eRfgqqoFXiLUnqWI03mcqlsxjet3L6DzBx9uOKmTdvKF=s2048\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1766\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEi_7D7m7cZG07sa12PwExdKXSghWYuyDYs3s1ku6TyKSbtVJE8wemnA7eEwthxstvhk1F62AKfxlYSo-3TpIsqXtNDU0R4_G90fijxspn3LyhgAUNtG6t71zJN7xo2ko6LxtA9weu4RTPO7eRfgqqoFXiLUnqWI03mcqlsxjet3L6DzBx9uOKmTdvKF=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EHi dear friends! I haven't been on here for a while and I wanted to let you all know why that is.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EThe short version is: I'm working on book #3 like crazy! I've written 25,000 words in three weeks, which is unheard of for me. I wake up at 5 every morning because I can't wait to keep writing. The words are just pouring out of me, it's such a wild ride! There's some big magic at play here, and I'm loving it.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EYou may know that I've been trying to write a novel for the past 2+ years - but this isn't the book baby that I'm growing now. Plot twist!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI'm on a manifestation journey this year, and as I shared\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2022\/01\/i-did-manifesting-challenge-here-is.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ein this post\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;I did a manifesting challenge at the beginning of the year (which was amazing). Since the challenge ended I've kept on listening to podcasts about manifesting (\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/manifestationbabe.com\/podcast\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EManifestation Babe\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;is my favourite), I've kept up journaling and meditating, and I'm generally just very open to my intuition and the universe.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EAnd what's been growing out of all this, combined with \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/events.myconferencesuite.com\/CAMRT2022\/page\/Speakers\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ebeing on the mental health panel\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;at the annual National Conference for MRTs (=Medical Radiation Technologists) in April, is that I want to share more of my story. I have not gone into detail about my mental health struggles in any of my previous two books, and it's time.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EAnd as soon as I started writing I knew that this is right. Like I said, the words are flowing like they never have before, and it's a blast to work on this new project. Because even though it will have some heavier topics, it's also going to be the most fun book I've every written! It describes the last five years and it has something for everyone: near-death experiences (yes, plural: a matching his and hers set), mystery illnesses, puppies, snowstorms, fires, floods, a little something called a pandemic, therapy, my baby steps into feminism - and me quitting alcohol, and all the reasons why.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEj_bAr6Gc2C0Ebg9LNklspinCxswAywZ-EUPGHkLkHpGdW4Bat5utjv92ILDr5PLN5NK3GUVVvuHiMtoPulHQGswi0RSQHpFHtKB2mOvC0bogsyU02bQldY9zVTiVlpO2rX3Fljb78mlrFvYVeZcFUIAUksjhet_DdtTNaQeA9fpZYiQSGFHXMgs53n=s2048\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1128\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEj_bAr6Gc2C0Ebg9LNklspinCxswAywZ-EUPGHkLkHpGdW4Bat5utjv92ILDr5PLN5NK3GUVVvuHiMtoPulHQGswi0RSQHpFHtKB2mOvC0bogsyU02bQldY9zVTiVlpO2rX3Fljb78mlrFvYVeZcFUIAUksjhet_DdtTNaQeA9fpZYiQSGFHXMgs53n=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003ETo borrow Jenny Lawson's tagline to her book \u003Ci\u003EFuriously Happy\u003C\/i\u003E, this will be \"a funny book about horrible things\". Not all horrible, but some of it - and all funny. \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI set myself a deadline to have the first draft finished by June 1, and I know that I will get it done. I can't explain where this certainty is coming from, it's just there.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EAside from writing like a woman possessed I'm doing yoga three times a week. I've being using the\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/asanarebel.com\/en\/homepage_4\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EAsana Rebel\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;app, because my biggest obstacle to getting on my mat has been that all the workouts I've saved on YouTube are half an hour or longer. Some days I just can't motivate myself to do it for that long, and that's where Asana Rebel comes in. They have workouts starting at 5 minutes! I don't care what anybody says, to me 5 minutes are better than 0 minutes, and if that's all I'm capable of some days then I still call it a win. Many times I'll extend and add another 10 or 15 minutes, but even if I don't it's better than nothing.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EAfter two years of being \u003Ci\u003Every\u003C\/i\u003E sporadic with my practice, it feels so good to have a routine again! I'm getting stronger and more flexible, and it's very good for my mind.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEhlGBAqm44RmATNaM_NWMvwk_RD0vXjk5Ei6kAiisgGH9bO1RCX_g9XZgatlnf4BfObs071aI0ps-u0TCC81y_hQiH97n-yYdo6V44ySdHL1nogssTqTD_0TNERnDCKXmvt43XYV55HO6wtdyUnlxV8yUdt52ezVz_9_5sKiXf6gWZAm1KXgpe0oy1H=s1170\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"614\" data-original-width=\"1170\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEhlGBAqm44RmATNaM_NWMvwk_RD0vXjk5Ei6kAiisgGH9bO1RCX_g9XZgatlnf4BfObs071aI0ps-u0TCC81y_hQiH97n-yYdo6V44ySdHL1nogssTqTD_0TNERnDCKXmvt43XYV55HO6wtdyUnlxV8yUdt52ezVz_9_5sKiXf6gWZAm1KXgpe0oy1H=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003ERich and I re-watched all of \u003Ci\u003EYellowstone\u003C\/i\u003E and then \u003Ci\u003EOzark\u003C\/i\u003E, I finished the last season of \u003Ci\u003EWentworth, \u003C\/i\u003Eand now I've finally discovered \u003Ci\u003EThe\u0026nbsp;Marvellous Mrs. Maisel,\u003C\/i\u003E\u0026nbsp;who is, indeed, marvellous.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI got a few moles removed (all benign, phew), booked myself a mammogram (here's your reminder to book yours!), and I'm sticking faithfully to a twice-a-month massage schedule. My back doesn't know what hit it, but it has never been happier.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EThe snow has almost melted at our place, and it's slowly starting to feel like spring. Despite the heaviness in the world, life around here is good.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EMy plans for the next few months are more of the same: work, writing, walking, yoga. This is my season for creating and I'm loving every second of it!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E. \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/5238827545426708088\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2022\/03\/life-update.html#comment-form","title":"1 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/5238827545426708088"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/5238827545426708088"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2022\/03\/life-update.html","title":"Life Update"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEi_7D7m7cZG07sa12PwExdKXSghWYuyDYs3s1ku6TyKSbtVJE8wemnA7eEwthxstvhk1F62AKfxlYSo-3TpIsqXtNDU0R4_G90fijxspn3LyhgAUNtG6t71zJN7xo2ko6LxtA9weu4RTPO7eRfgqqoFXiLUnqWI03mcqlsxjet3L6DzBx9uOKmTdvKF=s72-c","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"1"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-3902810317568487893"},"published":{"$t":"2022-02-06T08:08:00.001-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2022-02-06T08:40:36.440-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"new adventures"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"self love"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Valentine's Day"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Date yourself"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEh6I2vBP2tAzOUiYDjX84lAGy7QtH6xrrSjEtraNUNUPRGurWHqGKQRJ8gGuCDfrYSOZ3Q_suDqSjTl1RDGMwTWrIVn32hNaVJ7GiKTN1Chco1q-IIljaGJDJLEg0qg8lK7s3um-E-uAvS_JIW5r6d_dymqtlCnxnd4-IxbhWE1GXCqoP31J_jMSmt1=s1170\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"643\" data-original-width=\"1170\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEh6I2vBP2tAzOUiYDjX84lAGy7QtH6xrrSjEtraNUNUPRGurWHqGKQRJ8gGuCDfrYSOZ3Q_suDqSjTl1RDGMwTWrIVn32hNaVJ7GiKTN1Chco1q-IIljaGJDJLEg0qg8lK7s3um-E-uAvS_JIW5r6d_dymqtlCnxnd4-IxbhWE1GXCqoP31J_jMSmt1=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've been longer in relationships than not at this point in my life. Almost 20 years with Rich, two previous relationships of 2.5 years each and a few odds and ends in my teens add up to over 25 years at the side of a man. Wow! Still, despite that impressive number there is one relationship I've been in even longer: the one with myself. And that's the one that needs some TLC.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI consider myself to be an independent woman, and Rich and I are by no means joined at the hip. We have travelled independently (and will again), have different hobbies and a few separate friends.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut there's one thing I haven't done much of: going on dates with myself.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've been changing that. I started setting my alarm for 5:30 in the morning to have a slow, cozy coffee date in bed every day where I journal, write, meditate and sip coffee. The dogs are draped all around me, sometimes the cat drops by for a visit, and yesterday I heard our pheasant make its mating call for the first time this year! The aviary is below my window, and in the winter the birds are quiet. That call (plus Tom's shedding) means that the animals sense that spring is coming! It's been wonderful to witness dawn coming a little bit earlier every day, and I've seen some incredible sunrises.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThose quiet mornings are my favourite part of the day and set the tone for the rest of the day. They have been a real game changer.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEjde-7duxOZu0kkh9LVowJw-BGzE9ksHhmE7is19IRCPSbvO9YrSwg8WPxGfdZV2w7-waW2NsdWvnsgJSJRDBaBq9vZezIP_0IqAZjewY6NWrjLHbyHpxD2rr3ue_Pm6zTPV2rUOAcf4fyamNoyBHLDRrS4jkdMgQ5yb63yRRBwTt_rWrpeEfphMJxH=s960\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"530\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEjde-7duxOZu0kkh9LVowJw-BGzE9ksHhmE7is19IRCPSbvO9YrSwg8WPxGfdZV2w7-waW2NsdWvnsgJSJRDBaBq9vZezIP_0IqAZjewY6NWrjLHbyHpxD2rr3ue_Pm6zTPV2rUOAcf4fyamNoyBHLDRrS4jkdMgQ5yb63yRRBwTt_rWrpeEfphMJxH=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnother thing I did was write down everything I want to do. It's a random list that includes learning to enjoy meditation (I'm getting there!), wanting to do public speaking, going on adventures, getting fit again, visiting friends, seeing my sister this year, getting regular massages, and a bunch of other stuff. I pasted that list to my vision board that hangs next to my desk, and I look at it every day. When I know I have a few free days coming up I look at that list and make plans. \u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhen I make plans to do something I'm treating it like I treat plans with other people: I write it in my day planner, I get ready, and the most important part: \u003Cb\u003EI don't cancel on myself\u003C\/b\u003E. In the past I would drop everything whenever work asked me to come in. I didn't consider plans with myself as important, so I would cancel them \u003Ci\u003Eall the damn time\u003C\/i\u003E. I wouldn't do that to other people, but I didn't think twice about doing it to myself.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe result of that was that I got stressed out, short-tempered, and close to burnout several times over my career. It was such a difficult lesson for me to learn to say no that it took \u003Ci\u003Eyears\u003C\/i\u003E before I got it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut I finally did. These days when I've made plans to write all day, or to go skiing, or to take the dogs for a long hike, I don't cancel them. If work calls I can honestly say that I have plans. Because \u003Cb\u003EI am just as important as other people, and I don't want to let myself down anymore.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEhUgirXECN--ndfa6ciJawRIucBeVqEJcb0qonm9ikirg4-u6eV3mJ80qVmfETVksUY-Lddyo8-jksbZGxytKXnAVoa9T4dBNMD4X8H8hi6uaAQ73SrT8BUoPko3lC2XNanckBq34Z985ZCkzhAqOS-KBrMZw2FDcxl57ntPPF7eQEZN3XurPaC-7CA=s1536\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1514\" data-original-width=\"1536\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEhUgirXECN--ndfa6ciJawRIucBeVqEJcb0qonm9ikirg4-u6eV3mJ80qVmfETVksUY-Lddyo8-jksbZGxytKXnAVoa9T4dBNMD4X8H8hi6uaAQ73SrT8BUoPko3lC2XNanckBq34Z985ZCkzhAqOS-KBrMZw2FDcxl57ntPPF7eQEZN3XurPaC-7CA=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003EPeople often say, \"I'm just at home, I might as well work\", and that used to be my attitude as well. It's a popular way of thinking where the goal seems to be to make as much money as possible to be able to go away on vacation. I don't understand it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMost of us have spend a lot of time, money and energy to create beautiful homes, but we spend very little time in them. I love my home, and I want to enjoy it as much as I can! That means I schedule days for cleaning, de-cluttering, and just hanging out in my home. And yes, these are important plans I have no intention of cancelling.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEixI_7X78g6FpMNmwGXYUQlH_j0ryrRUjdIQRqpoBCg71DejHSIfuN-yCMMprjKBvLaY38NPn1ob99YbXPfFsuYr7NIxbCWm95eRX6famFCItIVDsDwvVQEwlFlAVQDcvVpfpCJ7_LT0XrlIP4tT_d-WJh0R5Rm6h51jMJcF5JpAz6AxPTKwqoxZRQ4=s1065\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1065\" data-original-width=\"892\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEixI_7X78g6FpMNmwGXYUQlH_j0ryrRUjdIQRqpoBCg71DejHSIfuN-yCMMprjKBvLaY38NPn1ob99YbXPfFsuYr7NIxbCWm95eRX6famFCItIVDsDwvVQEwlFlAVQDcvVpfpCJ7_LT0XrlIP4tT_d-WJh0R5Rm6h51jMJcF5JpAz6AxPTKwqoxZRQ4=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EToday I'm doing something I've been wanting to do for 5 years: I'm going downhill skiing, by myself. The only thing that's been stopping me has been that I automatically thought I would have to go with someone. But why? I'm doing lots of things by myself that aren't fun (Pap tests, dentist appointments, grocery shopping), so it's about time to do something alone that IS fun. I'm a little bit nervous (I haven't skied in ages), but I'm also very excited. I've always loved skiing, and fear alone won't hold me back anymore. She can come along for the ride if she insists, but she's not steering the car.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWith Valentine's Day coming up I thought it's a good reminder to show some love to the person that should be the most important one in your life: \u003Ci\u003Eyourself\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThat can look like putting on a fancy outfit and taking yourself to dinner, booking a massage, or going to a spa.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOr in my case, dusting off my Fatty snowblades (yes, I'm a snow skater, not a skier) and taking myself on an adventure date!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHave a lovely Sunday, and don't forget to date yourself.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E. \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/3902810317568487893\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2022\/02\/date-yourself.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3902810317568487893"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3902810317568487893"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2022\/02\/date-yourself.html","title":"Date yourself"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEh6I2vBP2tAzOUiYDjX84lAGy7QtH6xrrSjEtraNUNUPRGurWHqGKQRJ8gGuCDfrYSOZ3Q_suDqSjTl1RDGMwTWrIVn32hNaVJ7GiKTN1Chco1q-IIljaGJDJLEg0qg8lK7s3um-E-uAvS_JIW5r6d_dymqtlCnxnd4-IxbhWE1GXCqoP31J_jMSmt1=s72-c","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-282894523864331560"},"published":{"$t":"2022-01-27T09:40:00.012-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2022-01-27T09:58:50.744-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"depression"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"mental health"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"therapy"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Everything I never knew about therapy"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEgWbuCZUxSD6-MmHwAcb5_GATY3oj9T3HV4AZvRGTJfuUm_6kHa_tly7usZhkMwL2g_zAuiu1tP3SWsQ5tTtmV6IpvOr3-RexFBP74L0R7src3LtSujS8Z0gAyPQceyZ3Ofq9elayLoL2YSRXN_iBuWpLJEcZEPHbNX_TR-QNDjAowEcZCgvTMr00gs=s1920\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1079\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEgWbuCZUxSD6-MmHwAcb5_GATY3oj9T3HV4AZvRGTJfuUm_6kHa_tly7usZhkMwL2g_zAuiu1tP3SWsQ5tTtmV6IpvOr3-RexFBP74L0R7src3LtSujS8Z0gAyPQceyZ3Ofq9elayLoL2YSRXN_iBuWpLJEcZEPHbNX_TR-QNDjAowEcZCgvTMr00gs=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003ELong before I admitted it to myself or received an official diagnosis, I knew something wasn't right. I had inexplicable bursts of anger where the slightest inconvenience would make me lose my temper, resulting in yelling, slammed doors and broken dishes.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003ESometimes I started crying without knowing why, having to make up a reason to explain the tears to concerned friends or family.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EOther times I was lying motionless on the couch, too numb and disinterested to do anything but stare blankly into space. Being alive felt like a drag, a burden I hadn't asked for, and I cursed the day I was born and objected to the tedious process of living.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EBut sooner or later I would always manage to shake those moods off, and it wasn't until I was doing the crying and staring into space thing while on vacation in Hawaii, one of the most beautiful places in the world, that my husband intervened. He told me gently but firmly that I needed help, and as soon as we returned home he made an appointment for me with our family doctor.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EThat visit was life-changing. It was the first time in my life that I openly talked to someone about my depression, and the relief when he kindly told me that it was not only common but also not my fault was indescribable. He attributed my depression to a chemical imbalance in my brain that could be treated with medication, and I was all for it. Swallow a pill and be done with it? Yes, please!\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EHe also mentioned therapy, but I brushed it off. I couldn't imagine lying on a couch and having to talk about my feelings to a middle-aged man in a tweed jacket with elbow patches. What would I tell him? What if there were awkward silences? No, thanks.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EI religiously took my anti-depressant every day and thought that was my mental health taken care of.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EFast forward to eight years later. I had just turned 40, everything was going well on the outside, but my symptoms were returning despite the medication. I was struggling so much that I decided to give therapy a chance. I asked around for a therapist, and contacted one that had been recommended to me by a friend. I was so nervous when I sent off that initial email I thought I would puke. I was terrified of therapy (for reasons I couldn't identify then), but I was desperate. I simply couldn't continue to live in constant fear of my own mind, always worried that it might destroy me.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EThe sessions were on Zoom thanks to Covid. I'm beyond grateful for that, because I'm pretty sure I couldn't have made myself drive to an office with the dreaded couch in it. I figured if I needed an escape I would just shut down the computer and be done with therapy.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003EStill, I've rarely been more nervous in my life than I was before the first session. I had absolutely no idea what I was going to tell her. I seriously thought she would throw her hands in the air after a few minutes and tell me that I was a spoiled little drama queen who had nothing wrong with her and should stop acting up immediately. (Can you believe I thought therapy wasn't for me? I clearly have issues\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E.)\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003EUnsurprisingly, I barely got my name out before I started bawling \u003C\/span\u003Ehard\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E. I must not have made much sense, but my therapist was very kind and patient and told me right away that she was \"very comfortable with tears\". To my relief she did way more of the talking than I had expected, which is what I needed. I was a blubbering mess. There were none of the awkward silences I had seen portrayed so often on TV, and she managed to finally put me at ease halfway through. Plus, she didn't tell me off for wasting her time, so that was good!\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003EI stayed with her for about six months, meeting her eight times. The talking was difficult for the first few sessions.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003EI had it ingrained in me that everything was fine, that I had no reason to complain, that I had no real problems. I couldn't help but feel like an imposter who shouldn't be there. I had a great marriage, a job I liked, a healthy body and a \"normal\" upbringing. There was no major trauma in my history, I had white\/cisgender\/heterosexual privilege, we had no financial problems and a supportive community.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003EWhat was I doing in therapy? What did I have to be depressed about?\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white;\"\u003ETherapy is uncomfortable. The wall we've all learnt to build around ourselves has to be painstakingly taken down brick by brick, and that's a painful process. The source of my depression was buried so deep inside me that we never even got close to it during our time together. Plus, when you happen to talk to your therapist during a good time (aka when your depression is temporarily nowhere to be seen and you feel invincible) you are convinced that you are healed. You've graduated therapy with honours, now you can ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white;\"\u003EDespite not getting to the root of my problems she helped me uncover something major that I had not been aware of, and I will always be grateful for that. It's explained much about my childhood that was inexplicable before and had driven me nuts all my life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white;\"\u003EI finished therapy with her because I thought I had learnt all the tools I needed to carry on on my own. And for a while everything was okay - until it wasn't.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white;\"\u003EWhich was to be expected since we never even got close to the issues that have been causing my depression.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white;\"\u003EWhen the old demons reared their ugly heads again I decided to give therapy another go, but with another therapist this time. Even though I had liked my old one I wondered if there might be someone out there who was a better fit.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white;\"\u003EI went again with a friend's recommendation, and it was a lot easier this time around since I knew what to expect. My new therapist is younger and bubbly and fun, and we hit it off right away. Still, I was once again dancing around the issues, because I didn't know what my issues were.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003EBut I kept going and kept talking, and slowly, slowly we moved through the surface stuff (one session I talked the entire hour about the pressure society puts on women about weight and appearance and how much it sucks) and went deeper.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003ETogether we've been scratching away the shiny layer I've put over my childhood and my life, the one that I have spent much time and effort to create to make it appear to the world that everything is fine.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003EI've learnt that trauma comes in all shapes and sizes, and that it doesn't matter if others consider what happened to you traumatic; if it is traumatic to \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ci\u003Eyou\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E, your body will react the same way no matter if it's big or small.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003EI've learnt how damaging inconsistent parenting, emotional neglect and being told that your feelings are invalid can be. With her guidance I've come to see that I have been taught not to trust myself, and how harmful that is.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003EJust think about it for a moment: if you can't trust yourself and your judgment you are in an incredibly vulnerable position. You are looking for someone to guide you, and you're easy prey for predators of any kind.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003EWe're talking about gaslighting a lot, a term whose meaning I barely knew but that has been playing a huge role in my life, the effects of which I'm still dealing with today.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003EAnd I'm opening up more. After many months I've told her my deepest, most shameful secret, the one I've never told anyone, not even my husband. I'm starting to make the connection between unresolved childhood trauma and the unhealthy habits I have developed to suppress that trauma.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003EAlmost two years after my first therapy session I'm finally getting it. Even though I've always said that therapy is for everyone, I never really knew what that meant.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003ENow I do. I understand it on a deep and profound level.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003EWe are taught to smile, to be strong, and to pretend that everything is fine. So we shove down our discomfort, our pain, the many big and small hurts, hoping that out of sight = out of mind.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003EBut that doesn't work, of course. We're just piling everything up we haven't dealt with inside of us, and the pile keeps growing and growing until it gets so big that we can't ignore it any longer.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003EOne day it will spill out, and that spill can come in many different forms: depression, anxiety, anger, substance abuse, self-destructive behaviour like lying or cheating or accumulating huge amounts of debt because we try to buy ourselves happiness.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003EAs long as we don't deal with the unresolved problems that we've buried deep inside ourselves they will \u003Cb\u003Erule our life\u003C\/b\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EAnd I know that every single person has problems, because that's life: it's hard and unfair and scary and difficult at times, and we're all doing life for the first time without a dress rehearsal; we've never done this before, but everybody acts like we should know what we're doing even though \u003Ci\u003Enobody knows what they are doing\u003C\/i\u003E. It's a mindfuck.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-size: 16px; text-align: start;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white;\"\u003ETherapy is kind of like an instruction manual. It explains stuff that never made sense before, shows you where the different parts go, and finds the place for the leftover screws that you had no idea where to put.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white;\"\u003EIt helps me recognize the limitations I've lived under, the lies I believed about myself, and it teaches me to tear down the barriers that had been erected all around me: some by others, but most of them by myself.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white;\"\u003EI'm breaking out of the cage I've lived in all my life, and the view on the other side is \u003Ci\u003Ebreathtaking\u003C\/i\u003E.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white;\"\u003ETherapy is giving my life a sparkle I didn't know it could have. It's helping me find the power I've had inside of me all along but couldn't find. It's the greatest gift I've ever given myself.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/282894523864331560\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2022\/01\/everything-i-never-knew-about-therapy.html#comment-form","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/282894523864331560"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/282894523864331560"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2022\/01\/everything-i-never-knew-about-therapy.html","title":"Everything I never knew about therapy"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEgWbuCZUxSD6-MmHwAcb5_GATY3oj9T3HV4AZvRGTJfuUm_6kHa_tly7usZhkMwL2g_zAuiu1tP3SWsQ5tTtmV6IpvOr3-RexFBP74L0R7src3LtSujS8Z0gAyPQceyZ3Ofq9elayLoL2YSRXN_iBuWpLJEcZEPHbNX_TR-QNDjAowEcZCgvTMr00gs=s72-c","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-4030663795836418225"},"published":{"$t":"2022-01-22T15:17:00.009-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2022-01-22T19:39:43.215-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"dream life"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"manifesting"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"I did a manifesting challenge ... here is what happened"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEilC-e-GD0VHj6mon6wQ5ktw3ZaB93HX-LZq1Po-IMwCc0qg0k3iNAcL3UibBkHyhm1VjC3qPcafHCIOCgMvg3-vk41aX8WThRcXhPtjwAcp8tKgfmkSt9JOfWERLNgA_O-7UBW6gVf_mvpOe78xkhyTGPzWzX6PN53_XPVSP7GSvZBWhOZIMDCd-zo=s2048\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1536\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEilC-e-GD0VHj6mon6wQ5ktw3ZaB93HX-LZq1Po-IMwCc0qg0k3iNAcL3UibBkHyhm1VjC3qPcafHCIOCgMvg3-vk41aX8WThRcXhPtjwAcp8tKgfmkSt9JOfWERLNgA_O-7UBW6gVf_mvpOe78xkhyTGPzWzX6PN53_XPVSP7GSvZBWhOZIMDCd-zo=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003EIt's the last week of 2021. I'm on my way home from work on a beautifully sunny day: the sky is blue, the snow is sparkling, and I'm listening to the\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/abeautifulmess.com\/category\/podcast\/\" style=\"text-align: left;\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EA Beautiful Mess podcast\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E. Emma and Elsie talk about their favourite things of 2021, and Elsie mentions something that changed her life: manifesting.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003EHuh.\u003C\/i\u003E A little shiver runs down my spine.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've been waiting for a sign. I choose a word every year that symbolizes what I want to focus on, and this time I'm struggling. Usually it's fairly easy to find a new word, because when I make my list of goals there's an underlying theme, and the word just appears.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ENot this time though. I'm stuck, which is no surprise considering that I've been stuck all year. 2021 has not been a year of forwards momentum. I've been standing still all year, basically hibernating, more or less just surviving. My creativity is at an all-time low, there's little excitement, and it feels like I've been sitting in a waiting room all year, waiting for my real life to make a reappearance.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut hearing the word \u003Ci\u003Emanifesting\u003C\/i\u003E does something to me: something inside me is waking up. It takes me a while to identify the emotion, but at last I recognize it: it's excitement. Welcome back, old friend, it's been a while! I start to smile.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEhhpjUKiJv7PxawINzEw5dhh0p-w4RFdgTxVrLgOdXRmHxcfWfZwmXuwOv7VgxTKs8u_B4N7FIwkXq4vlZti2Typps3UMwm1pn_hdXaLD3BZIIybRuCtTiDCcZbgO0HiNUg9nd6IPvol1MBiDMb3YUyhoUyXLnm_Hdh4b37bjR2PJYm0r9xQIwSx2R1=s1920\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1280\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEhhpjUKiJv7PxawINzEw5dhh0p-w4RFdgTxVrLgOdXRmHxcfWfZwmXuwOv7VgxTKs8u_B4N7FIwkXq4vlZti2Typps3UMwm1pn_hdXaLD3BZIIybRuCtTiDCcZbgO0HiNUg9nd6IPvol1MBiDMb3YUyhoUyXLnm_Hdh4b37bjR2PJYm0r9xQIwSx2R1=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThat's how it started. From that podcast I went to another one (\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.ouiwegirl.com\/podcast\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EYour Woo Woo Best Friend\u003C\/a\u003E), and then I somehow came across this:\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/gabbybernstein.com\/manifestingchallenge-waitlist\/?utm_source=deargabby.com\u0026amp;utm_medium=referral\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ea 21-day manifesting challenge\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;with Gabby Bernstein. I signed up for it immediately, because the excitement inside me was growing. This felt \u003Ci\u003Eright\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've dabbled in manifesting before. When \u003Ci\u003EThe Secret\u003C\/i\u003E came out (I think it was in 2008?) I jumped on the band wagon and was very much into it. Using the universe like a catalogue and order whatever you want? Yes, please! I watched the DVD about 20 times, liking that the law of attraction had physics in it, because it made it sound scientific. The skeptic in me reasoned that it must be true because of that.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHowever, as much as I liked the concept and \u003Ci\u003Ewanted\u003C\/i\u003E it to be true, I couldn't fully commit. It was all too woo-woo for me, and after a while I forgot about it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut something was different this time. I was the proverbial student who was ready for the teacher to appear and I was \u003Ci\u003Eready\u003C\/i\u003E. I made myself a vision board that hangs next to my desk, and then the challenge began.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe most important part of manifesting is \u003Cb\u003E\u003Cu\u003Eknowing what you want\u003C\/u\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E. You have to be specific and clear, and honestly,it's not as easy as it may seem at first. We are surprisingly terrible at knowing what will make us happy, and the only way how we can really figure that out is by taking a long, hard look at ourselves. One of the questions we have to ask ourselves is \u003Cb\u003Ehow we want to feel\u003C\/b\u003E; only then can we move on to the next step of figuring out what we need to do in order to feel that way.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEi_U4VXfgIXUiy7qRZ-a_WDaCHEPRXEj4bWqdZiG_VZkm8CFPQXggbi-JlQbw9et3vg75_v0_yaWyMQNwnN2CdnuxY23TLHT2cv_Iz0-xuP397JHg-TwYfAf4a4RRV2AqLbg60LoDUszMd6_Kq2RzuDJbtboiVgwlT5SFm-3bp04z_0aukBVROnpLWb=s1280\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"950\" data-original-width=\"1280\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEi_U4VXfgIXUiy7qRZ-a_WDaCHEPRXEj4bWqdZiG_VZkm8CFPQXggbi-JlQbw9et3vg75_v0_yaWyMQNwnN2CdnuxY23TLHT2cv_Iz0-xuP397JHg-TwYfAf4a4RRV2AqLbg60LoDUszMd6_Kq2RzuDJbtboiVgwlT5SFm-3bp04z_0aukBVROnpLWb=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMy primary objective going into the challenge was to manifest my third book in 2022. I started working on my first piece of fiction in early 2020, but got completely derailed by Covid. I basically didn't touch it at all last year, and it's really been bugging me. So my goal was simple: manifest finishing the book (\u003Ci\u003Eand then maybe even get a publishing deal\u003C\/i\u003E, a quiet voice whispered - I shut that voice down. That's way too much to ask - don't be greedy).\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EA big part of the challenge consists of meditation and journaling, particularly writing right after meditation. It's an incredibly powerful practice, because it's almost as if your subconscious gets a chance to speak. What comes out is sometimes truly astonishing!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOn day 3 Gabby asked us to write down what we are a YES for, and to be specific about the exact feelings and experiences we want to cultivate in our life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHere is my list, written by my subconscious:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- stepping into the (lime)light\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- public speaking\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- adventuring\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- accepting miracles\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- saying yes to opportunities\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- being honest and vulnerable\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- friendship\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- embracing uncertainty\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- a bigger life\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHere is what's been happening since:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- I have been chosen to be part of a mental health panel at my \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/events.myconferencesuite.com\/CAMRT2022\/reg\/landing\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eprofessional association's conference\u003C\/a\u003E this year. That means that I will be publicly speaking about my depression in front of hundreds of fellow technologists, doctors, professors, physicists and other professionals in April. That would have been unthinkable to me even just a few months ago! But I want to do this very much, and for now I'm thrilled and excited! (I'm sure the nerves will come later...)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- I am getting interviewed for an \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/hellorhighwater.ca\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eonline telethon fundraiser\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;for our town next week\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- I received a cheque for\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Lets-Pretend-Normal-Miriam-Verheyden\/dp\/1684016452\/ref=pd_rhf_gw_p_img_1?_encoding=UTF8\u0026amp;psc=1\u0026amp;refRID=CJSTBEHWD4SQHBK04A1V\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Emy first book\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;from my publisher that was roughly \u003Ci\u003E100x\u003C\/i\u003E\u0026nbsp;higher than it usually is\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- a friend added me to her hiking group and we went for an epic, 3-hour long snowshoeing adventure this morning\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEgOo8tD8N7-_cPnZR7HBDZQgJlToJT3htHwAxoHYQoQBU5OPTjg_Yog-FTS90JlY-H5fwYcE0Pmx8keKYrIWG0kluqN5WrP25CD1FV8xLQKSNS8eE34NkNyzjc__rsrFJs1EbfpSJI7czh-1Xp3mLKBA-ClwsZlkxWAa6pEItl8R-6QIzJ9xBUHwCYA=s2048\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1536\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEgOo8tD8N7-_cPnZR7HBDZQgJlToJT3htHwAxoHYQoQBU5OPTjg_Yog-FTS90JlY-H5fwYcE0Pmx8keKYrIWG0kluqN5WrP25CD1FV8xLQKSNS8eE34NkNyzjc__rsrFJs1EbfpSJI7czh-1Xp3mLKBA-ClwsZlkxWAa6pEItl8R-6QIzJ9xBUHwCYA=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- we've had some great meals and talks with friends\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- I'm working on my third book: 30,000 words in so far!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIf you look back at my list, that ticks off almost every single item! And a lot of it is what I've always considered to be out of my comfort zone - I mean, public speaking? \u003Ci\u003EMe?\u003C\/i\u003E\u0026nbsp;That's craziness.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut here comes the truly crazy part: it suddenly doesn't feel outside of my comfort zone any more. It feels as natural as if I've been waiting to do it all my life. An interview? Sure, what time?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThere's a shift happening inside of me that's palpable. A part has awakened that was either asleep or didn't exist before. I don't know if it's all that meditating and journaling, if it's a coincidence (ha! I don't believe that for a second), or: that manifesting shtick really \u003Ci\u003Eworks\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe challenge ended yesterday, but I will keep going with meditating, journaling, going inward and becoming even more intentional with what I do (and don't) want to have in my life.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EManifesting is my word for 2022, and now that I have the tools I know that even more wonderful and exciting things are coming.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThis year is shaping up to be \u003Ci\u003Ebig\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/4030663795836418225\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2022\/01\/i-did-manifesting-challenge-here-is.html#comment-form","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/4030663795836418225"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/4030663795836418225"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2022\/01\/i-did-manifesting-challenge-here-is.html","title":"I did a manifesting challenge ... here is what happened"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEilC-e-GD0VHj6mon6wQ5ktw3ZaB93HX-LZq1Po-IMwCc0qg0k3iNAcL3UibBkHyhm1VjC3qPcafHCIOCgMvg3-vk41aX8WThRcXhPtjwAcp8tKgfmkSt9JOfWERLNgA_O-7UBW6gVf_mvpOe78xkhyTGPzWzX6PN53_XPVSP7GSvZBWhOZIMDCd-zo=s72-c","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-9117600380733150319"},"published":{"$t":"2022-01-16T11:45:00.005-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2022-01-16T11:51:18.070-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"changes"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life lessons"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"New Year"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"A bigger life"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEh_tiQMozLCsMlODwR4JZZ4VDS-4cByy-ylreU0TUFTyvccOHjPGBQBgrAepKgGmbj1EXUFRomBSNHZdTHJt_DRvgtcLBv8y3X-WzUkQI0Vgug2HksXXWmewGHzTNZ-pEyt17zHLAfMjcjkwy5L8iPx9XsekttIHNyTQv_zABCHTsKd6PwEkOM0Rc9o=s2048\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1460\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEh_tiQMozLCsMlODwR4JZZ4VDS-4cByy-ylreU0TUFTyvccOHjPGBQBgrAepKgGmbj1EXUFRomBSNHZdTHJt_DRvgtcLBv8y3X-WzUkQI0Vgug2HksXXWmewGHzTNZ-pEyt17zHLAfMjcjkwy5L8iPx9XsekttIHNyTQv_zABCHTsKd6PwEkOM0Rc9o=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EI've been quiet on here, which is unintentional. I always love the first few days of a new year with the promise they bring of 365 empty pages that we can fill with all our hopes and dreams, and I love to share my word of the year and all my goals and plans with you.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI had planned to post on January 1 about all that, and then post again for January 10 (which was our 17th wedding anniversary). But instead I've been doing a \u003Ci\u003Elot\u003C\/i\u003E of internal work behind the scenes. Stuff that feels big and has the markings of changing my life profoundly from the inside out - which is where the greatest change happens.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ETo start with, I'm doing a manifesting challenge. I was big into the law of attraction and manifesting a few years ago, but then slowly forgot about it. During the last few days of 2021 I came across it in a podcast, and my interest was piqued again. As part of the challenge I'm meditating and journaling daily - and guys, shit is really happening!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's as if a light has been switched on inside of me, shining into all the dark and half-forgotten places where my deepest dreams and desires are buried.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EElizabeth Gilbert writes in her fantastic book\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2015\/12\/big-magic.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBig Magic\u003C\/a\u003E:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cblockquote\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\"One of the oldest and most generous tricks that the universe plays on human beings is to bury strange jewels within us all, and then stand back to see if we can ever find them.\"\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/blockquote\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI read \u003Ci\u003EBig Magic\u003C\/i\u003E for the first time 6 years ago, and I've re-read it several times since. Every time I find more truth in Liz Gilbert's words, and a deeper understanding of myself. To find the jewels inside yourself you have to look inwards. You have to tune out the noise and distractions from the world around you and become quiet. It's incredibly difficult to do, and very uncomfortable at first. I used to be so afraid of the mean voice in my head that I couldn't stand silence - I always listened to stories during my walks or on car rides, and I would rather read the ingredients of the tooth paste while I was in the bathroom than being alone with my thoughts.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEgBW8zcg4JQZuAl0p2KyBSVuRRYserbJ9EAfyoJ4HH-vvD9v1nzfcNMXt6J-dAQ14pW-cph2XPkFEbkPpeuoIVscAb3aekC0tjQcxuoAL8DJGLcUVj3VhvkT-0dbT1Lod4A2_olJRHMIJwDNYtEuf1IZhQRWptuIdoi5MWPSAeM_hLsPsxb6AT8rDz8=s2048\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1536\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEgBW8zcg4JQZuAl0p2KyBSVuRRYserbJ9EAfyoJ4HH-vvD9v1nzfcNMXt6J-dAQ14pW-cph2XPkFEbkPpeuoIVscAb3aekC0tjQcxuoAL8DJGLcUVj3VhvkT-0dbT1Lod4A2_olJRHMIJwDNYtEuf1IZhQRWptuIdoi5MWPSAeM_hLsPsxb6AT8rDz8=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt took a lot of healing and therapy before I starved the mean voice out. She's gone now, after a lifetime of distracting me and keeping me down, and now the second part of my life can begin.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm taking stock of not only how I feel, but more importantly how I \u003Ci\u003Ewant \u003C\/i\u003Eto feel. This is a question we surprisingly don't ask ourselves very often - it's always about what we want to \u003Ci\u003Eachieve\u003C\/i\u003E, what we want to \u003Ci\u003Ebuy\/have\u003C\/i\u003E, where we want to \u003Ci\u003Ebe\u003C\/i\u003E in [insert number] years.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EStarting with how we want to feel is so much simpler: it can be something as seemingly obvious as \u003Cb\u003Egood\u003C\/b\u003E. I want to feel good. Who doesn't? But then comes the trickier part: what do we have to do in order to feel good? What are the things that make us feel good? That's where looking inside comes in. It's been said that the answers to all our questions can be found inside ourselves, and guys - whoever said that is right.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOver the last 3 weeks I've been tuned inwards every day. I'm listening and making notes, waiting for the jewels inside of me to reveal themselves. And they are slowly unfolding, like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon and spreading its wings for the first time. It's an entirely different process to what I've done in the past. I used to \u003Ci\u003Emake\u003C\/i\u003E plans and \u003Ci\u003Ecreate \u003C\/i\u003Egoals as an active process - this time I'm observing what's already inside me, witnessing what wants to come out. It's more of a passive process, except that it doesn't feel passive at \u003Ci\u003Eall\u003C\/i\u003E. It feels hugely exciting! The world seems bigger and filled with more promise than it has in years. I feel like I may be on the brink of a bigger life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEjam6XDVr2lPaAwF6-JvILcNM0hAwJwBhCQx4VqWOCfoTcWSeZ2EYOYFFy0zkvwYsieF_lLFf8b5yVI0du19-fE6b0dZOUi2jkA6vjBHZanQ90fojlUedxPnSNDpH2zOGVt2gwQeJukZydeVDpebfihkCPVFcvzVGbx4eae6UyibsMoPSIIFjSTBrkf=s2048\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"2048\" data-original-width=\"1536\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEjam6XDVr2lPaAwF6-JvILcNM0hAwJwBhCQx4VqWOCfoTcWSeZ2EYOYFFy0zkvwYsieF_lLFf8b5yVI0du19-fE6b0dZOUi2jkA6vjBHZanQ90fojlUedxPnSNDpH2zOGVt2gwQeJukZydeVDpebfihkCPVFcvzVGbx4eae6UyibsMoPSIIFjSTBrkf=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003ENot big in terms of a bigger house, car, or world travel. I have no intention of ever moving away from our cozy 1,240 sf house, I love my Mazda, and world travel is definitely not on the agenda for the foreseeable future.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI mean bigger in taking up more space. Becoming crystal clear about what I want and what I stand for, and not being afraid to speak my truth. I want to share what I've learnt, to help others who are in a place in their life where I used to be. I want to tell them that it gets better! That there is hope and joy and wisdom waiting for them if they just keep going!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd I want to live up to the potential that is buried inside me, and that has been patiently waiting for 42 years to be discovered. I am discovering it now, and it's \u003Ci\u003Eamazing.\u003C\/i\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI am ready for a bigger life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/9117600380733150319\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2022\/01\/a-bigger-life.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/9117600380733150319"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/9117600380733150319"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2022\/01\/a-bigger-life.html","title":"A bigger life"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEh_tiQMozLCsMlODwR4JZZ4VDS-4cByy-ylreU0TUFTyvccOHjPGBQBgrAepKgGmbj1EXUFRomBSNHZdTHJt_DRvgtcLBv8y3X-WzUkQI0Vgug2HksXXWmewGHzTNZ-pEyt17zHLAfMjcjkwy5L8iPx9XsekttIHNyTQv_zABCHTsKd6PwEkOM0Rc9o=s72-c","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-5642109048254675558"},"published":{"$t":"2021-12-30T11:03:00.010-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-12-30T11:12:53.757-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"best of"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"review"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Best and worst of 2021"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEh9AhlmgPI9QA86C9M0Ls9yYnxyido4JP-wF88Kp5YOxqVYu_69va9r_Ua7G-Edy_D7NzEX6YWW03dmgJq9KBj3XTE1eR3I1I-OQBZ9vLU4KR-mBF5mZhciNRZQHbBB3STaMPPp1GfKcXXDw6ivDb59mnfiS0bCpcftD38ywtavFkcsVTC5QEmJ1XY0=s960\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"599\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEh9AhlmgPI9QA86C9M0Ls9yYnxyido4JP-wF88Kp5YOxqVYu_69va9r_Ua7G-Edy_D7NzEX6YWW03dmgJq9KBj3XTE1eR3I1I-OQBZ9vLU4KR-mBF5mZhciNRZQHbBB3STaMPPp1GfKcXXDw6ivDb59mnfiS0bCpcftD38ywtavFkcsVTC5QEmJ1XY0=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe week between Christmas and New Year is the strangest week of the year. Nobody knows what day it is, but that's okay - time has lost all meaning. Normal meal times have been suspended in favour of grazing through all the leftovers, which may mean a cold turkey leg for breakfast and Christmas cookies for dinner one day, and a pizza and dill chips for dinner at 4 in the afternoon another. It's fine though, because it's the\u0026nbsp; week of the year where expectations are zero and \u003Ci\u003Eanything goes\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI always use those last few days to look back on the year that was, and then make some goals for the year about to be. There is magic in the dying embers of an outgoing year, and I think it's important to pause and give thanks, reflect, and say goodbye properly.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cu\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003ELet's start with the good:\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/u\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cu\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/u\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003EPuppies!\u003C\/span\u003E \u003C\/b\u003EWe raised 21 puppies in '21. Despite the insane amounts of poo they created, it was the best thing ever. Here are a few videos:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" class=\"BLOG_video_class\" height=\"266\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/FPoqdJzy8ys\" width=\"320\" youtube-src-id=\"FPoqdJzy8ys\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" class=\"BLOG_video_class\" height=\"266\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/9JD7P9xhjcA\" width=\"320\" youtube-src-id=\"9JD7P9xhjcA\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E(For more, go to my\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCSQkMhAkFqEW2zxFMnES51g\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EYoutube\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;channel.)\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003EMia.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u0026nbsp;To nobody's surprise, we kept one of Dixie's puppies. Mia is almost 7 months old,\u0026nbsp;\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003Eloves to swim, run, and chew on shoes, paper and my hot water bottle. She's a real adventure pup, up for anything, and the happiest dog we've ever had.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEj2MI1zJ3b0rfiLBPFHVMAFdEpX8G7YaIOSacZUKN8vjgGNjWf7eDYIIDmPYxUrz1Q-qhrslh4sbbRJtsiI5JDvDc-UwuRxeTELRkMlnNhO4zSeiMquBN849t4kApcH1_rrEDiaIId4xFDXp9sPYQN4TrVWGivm29BQttL4vdzZQ-6E_kLJHYrf7CNV=s2015\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"2015\" data-original-width=\"2003\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEj2MI1zJ3b0rfiLBPFHVMAFdEpX8G7YaIOSacZUKN8vjgGNjWf7eDYIIDmPYxUrz1Q-qhrslh4sbbRJtsiI5JDvDc-UwuRxeTELRkMlnNhO4zSeiMquBN849t4kApcH1_rrEDiaIId4xFDXp9sPYQN4TrVWGivm29BQttL4vdzZQ-6E_kLJHYrf7CNV=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003EHere she met her pack for the first time without her siblings around:\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https:\/\/www.blogger.com\/video.g?token=AD6v5dzvhNn_wkMXWS_e7kuNMEWiq5O1Y8dnISXr321Tc7WH_P7ZnouxUH-OsTl7MdQ4D9iu5TOfLBN-KgU09_unDQ' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EHere we're skiing together:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEiw0UDKYdG8XOQTA24RSRz6KCXO3Mc5Mp2jcGpXQNG9dUdBagUXh3gSSv56l6--yP4P8JTBQDFdamwddny8OWc7XfgIIlIaqcK9_w9QoRZPwn01MiSk3GY1sBTmAJUykUD_alnDrANYLnv6OQDs3-3wdTaMQ5i_mPrmou_LDSS6RLI1Dy0Y7WGHUFb7=s1440\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEiw0UDKYdG8XOQTA24RSRz6KCXO3Mc5Mp2jcGpXQNG9dUdBagUXh3gSSv56l6--yP4P8JTBQDFdamwddny8OWc7XfgIIlIaqcK9_w9QoRZPwn01MiSk3GY1sBTmAJUykUD_alnDrANYLnv6OQDs3-3wdTaMQ5i_mPrmou_LDSS6RLI1Dy0Y7WGHUFb7=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003EVaccinated.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u0026nbsp;I'm so grateful for the vaccine. It makes me feel safer at work and in life every day. I know it's a polarising topic, so that's all I'm gonna say about it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEjauIYYK4FGXJjppjaTzAN2u6aikp2IRhnfnYSU3XxOzwxyveIHrqq7MaQfTapgm5EBThlNrMdAfME2rbTJa8tX1B0ppd862-UBtJK3CQHIMjMst-0PYiVX9UgiWBY_pEvfukdM0FTRwdxWSRwhsGPctLvXzZ38WuX0KhPj53zWszMccygre0Q3qjSE=s640\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"640\" data-original-width=\"512\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEjauIYYK4FGXJjppjaTzAN2u6aikp2IRhnfnYSU3XxOzwxyveIHrqq7MaQfTapgm5EBThlNrMdAfME2rbTJa8tX1B0ppd862-UBtJK3CQHIMjMst-0PYiVX9UgiWBY_pEvfukdM0FTRwdxWSRwhsGPctLvXzZ38WuX0KhPj53zWszMccygre0Q3qjSE=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003ENew hobby.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003EI bought myself a kayak this year, and it was one of my best purchases. Lily and I have been exploring several lakes last summer, and can't wait to do more of it in 2022!\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; font-size: large; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEi22bzEB8gnRG6UOOALFV-X1CQIKBjlLBTbfFSb0e0WONA9L4mldAqIG_XgeIvp1hCGcX5PdIFMBEFqn95eNP2ApKGCA-tWn0rEnIordusdpnSR2AOMlC4P8j7TEQrFrttCKsbISITCgumnixvwu7d6qq91ntSawSQ0HskJuXqw54EVvnPDfEVQlXi1=s960\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEi22bzEB8gnRG6UOOALFV-X1CQIKBjlLBTbfFSb0e0WONA9L4mldAqIG_XgeIvp1hCGcX5PdIFMBEFqn95eNP2ApKGCA-tWn0rEnIordusdpnSR2AOMlC4P8j7TEQrFrttCKsbISITCgumnixvwu7d6qq91ntSawSQ0HskJuXqw54EVvnPDfEVQlXi1=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003EDusting off old hobbies.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003EI quite literally dusted off some old toys and started using them again this year. I rollerskated all throughout my childhood, traded them in for rollerblades as a teenager, and then stopped altogether in my 20s. When I decluttered our basement this year I found them again and decided to give it a whirl. It's so much fun! I love the feeling of the wind in my hair, it's such a symbol of freedom.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI also took my cross-country skis out for a spin a few times, and as soon as the deep freeze is over (it's currently -24 Celsius, brrr) I'll explore more trails. I might even go downhill skiing again, who knows? I haven't done that for at least ten years, but I'm up for some epic adventures. One of my goals for the new year is to play more in our gorgeous backyard of Merritt.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEjoiuX0WbTBcjs75yx0N900PniLj89eTXyvlqlyshxc-FbkqO6EEUmujrRCbI4erKwp2jPxO8UY1H03R5IWYIHUP_UU2s0q5dMPN56y3SEgd7IOOTLtZRNYn-ziw7-P0AebiqRsO5ljeV-qU2SwgEdR54z2IHRkF8guD1Jb5FWtbnfx1HWfbWAb07OS=s960\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEjoiuX0WbTBcjs75yx0N900PniLj89eTXyvlqlyshxc-FbkqO6EEUmujrRCbI4erKwp2jPxO8UY1H03R5IWYIHUP_UU2s0q5dMPN56y3SEgd7IOOTLtZRNYn-ziw7-P0AebiqRsO5ljeV-qU2SwgEdR54z2IHRkF8guD1Jb5FWtbnfx1HWfbWAb07OS=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEguRPCA10yYjwh5_XCsYR0N3ZYKnJq3HoTLcdVRCIVnRmM3WUTY2n-N0Ac0IP_riaxRXCewwV__k7cvnUgKlc3kUbxRAcEbHx__lgodZe3OT_98uOf0P_JUFYJv170pGngj7pgLIzMhD7nM1zyOcshFRHBGcT2WhDiC1we5H6cHi5gT66ZPrnc69N0Z=s960\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEguRPCA10yYjwh5_XCsYR0N3ZYKnJq3HoTLcdVRCIVnRmM3WUTY2n-N0Ac0IP_riaxRXCewwV__k7cvnUgKlc3kUbxRAcEbHx__lgodZe3OT_98uOf0P_JUFYJv170pGngj7pgLIzMhD7nM1zyOcshFRHBGcT2WhDiC1we5H6cHi5gT66ZPrnc69N0Z=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium; font-weight: bold;\"\u003EPeace. \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EWe've had some issues with a couple of people in the past, and it looks like we resolved them this year. And even if they should come back, I've started growing a backbone and I'm learning to stand up for myself, so let them come! (But honestly, I'd rather they don't. I like a peaceful life.)\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEiLcaFUioa5rCEjggmVVYdHIJswTDfe4qRXeMISKe1CbjK3UvGLHQuHQ4ibgUJaZorPo0j9djkcAUfLbM9dS3cDNX1os64fpc0cXzZJ6BUgg9P_3klBQ2gJVjn62LHbnWia290UacOMhUl7QLcebWQtjwyeFq9aFwJ_3CkmidDuGT-LZZD5K8-SixzZ=s1080\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"608\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEiLcaFUioa5rCEjggmVVYdHIJswTDfe4qRXeMISKe1CbjK3UvGLHQuHQ4ibgUJaZorPo0j9djkcAUfLbM9dS3cDNX1os64fpc0cXzZJ6BUgg9P_3klBQ2gJVjn62LHbnWia290UacOMhUl7QLcebWQtjwyeFq9aFwJ_3CkmidDuGT-LZZD5K8-SixzZ=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EWeekends with Axel (and others).\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E After the social desert that was 2020, we've had more company again this year! The kids came for visits including our grandson Axel, and we hosted or visited several friends. It was so good to hang out with loved ones again and made me realize how important connection is,\u0026nbsp; even for introverts like me.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEja-YfXsBwjP0vW3eTNV70v4cBY8QUJt9XbcN0RiLyzHYBPZmlh1f9CcdPWBS5mO_FCmgZHtQFybU-I4dUQu63Zxz3f3IDlDdDlnj2o3kz3jMbkyMf1jKmZvs08_GAkQy1xqwiCYwKKanUmVQchOmxWz5uXHyGr1w1Irx1RhZPeJxDIIYbqpyuBn7vP=s726\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"726\" data-original-width=\"719\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEja-YfXsBwjP0vW3eTNV70v4cBY8QUJt9XbcN0RiLyzHYBPZmlh1f9CcdPWBS5mO_FCmgZHtQFybU-I4dUQu63Zxz3f3IDlDdDlnj2o3kz3jMbkyMf1jKmZvs08_GAkQy1xqwiCYwKKanUmVQchOmxWz5uXHyGr1w1Irx1RhZPeJxDIIYbqpyuBn7vP=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEgHs0br810_Es7Poef1XfUmXjntgif5_emgZAWRzHVUSYd_Us1vULaoOygGkmX71uzkZ3OTD2fLNLyx1tXLu8OOyNRh8YnEnvc1u2QhzIJdP_SHBEsiD3JVeyQHfziacFVU9GoT8st8wfr3GFgEYuZMS9TX9NQZGhgS3DIPprNvone7jZ4WzXigEkQB=s960\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEgHs0br810_Es7Poef1XfUmXjntgif5_emgZAWRzHVUSYd_Us1vULaoOygGkmX71uzkZ3OTD2fLNLyx1tXLu8OOyNRh8YnEnvc1u2QhzIJdP_SHBEsiD3JVeyQHfziacFVU9GoT8st8wfr3GFgEYuZMS9TX9NQZGhgS3DIPprNvone7jZ4WzXigEkQB=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEjZAX5EUWdkN7ZTA2QI2SxaouARStfHTrcyYJE7AkbZcu4q0SynoWMAM5xkIQnh-Rlza8bndtmA8q5IWjygd4Oxf7FdpBVcQPkoJh4ucKY2z01upUKYKGRWr8R9vpa6sAqRr1v_5VAgSr1XY8TSQNOKLT9hZSoOqwa8v5GbRLJ-OSJ5BuKATkrgil14=s960\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"720\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEjZAX5EUWdkN7ZTA2QI2SxaouARStfHTrcyYJE7AkbZcu4q0SynoWMAM5xkIQnh-Rlza8bndtmA8q5IWjygd4Oxf7FdpBVcQPkoJh4ucKY2z01upUKYKGRWr8R9vpa6sAqRr1v_5VAgSr1XY8TSQNOKLT9hZSoOqwa8v5GbRLJ-OSJ5BuKATkrgil14=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEgDuzVUCCLVzgBLOoH4Ik65oHfGVpcjD6qLrs-bRHhJ_gAwxGskuXuPTbmvTXXAtJWJoS5RwR19axhMtTlT1whVBTx4AhFg1WrLKiRYQZexhacnK6GHlpnYHcLXyoinmf4WuhqrZO3Ag2HZZVGVzv45kFkKYB3QcHpJcYhP2pzx4ahujzjibsemQFL7=s960\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"720\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEgDuzVUCCLVzgBLOoH4Ik65oHfGVpcjD6qLrs-bRHhJ_gAwxGskuXuPTbmvTXXAtJWJoS5RwR19axhMtTlT1whVBTx4AhFg1WrLKiRYQZexhacnK6GHlpnYHcLXyoinmf4WuhqrZO3Ag2HZZVGVzv45kFkKYB3QcHpJcYhP2pzx4ahujzjibsemQFL7=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb style=\"background-color: white; font-family: Lato; font-size: 15.4px;\"\u003E\u003Cu\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003EThe bad:\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/u\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium; font-weight: bold;\"\u003ENatural disasters. \u003C\/span\u003E2021 was the year of the heat dome, the year Lytton burnt down, the year of record-breaking, horrible wild fires, and then just a couple of months later, unprecedented flooding that evacuated our entire town for two weeks. We were on evacuation alerts 4 or 5 separate times, evacuated for 5 days, and I spent the better part of the year\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/12\/the-joys-and-woes-of-being-rural-x-ray.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Edriving past burning trees or under intense smoke\u003C\/a\u003E, often being detoured because the fires were too close to the road and had to be closed.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003ELast month I almost\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/11\/that-time-road-almost-disappeared.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Efell into the churning river\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;that took down my beloved highway 8, and since November 15 we're almost cut off from the Lower Mainland, with only one route open that's\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/infotel.ca\/newsitem\/kamloops-truck-drivers-advice-dont-take-highway-3-for-your-christmas-break\/it87765?fbclid=IwAR2Junmtv_Suv3LC42NLpsRQfZInEU6wZeo7ttcKCEETBntd53VkP6KjNZE\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eincredibly dangerous\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;in the current conditions.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EThe stress brought on by months of uncertainty, worry and fear has been intense. Even though we were amongst the lucky ones who came out of both disasters intact, it was a sober reminder of how precarious life is. Things can change in a moment, and there is not much we can do about it.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EThe take-away from this is to live as fully in the present moment as possible, and enjoy the hell out of everything we have.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EBecause even amidst a pandemic, climate change, ignorance and unfairness, life can be achingly, magically beautiful.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EDon't miss a moment of it.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/5642109048254675558\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/12\/best-and-worst-of-2021.html#comment-form","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/5642109048254675558"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/5642109048254675558"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/12\/best-and-worst-of-2021.html","title":"Best and worst of 2021"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEh9AhlmgPI9QA86C9M0Ls9yYnxyido4JP-wF88Kp5YOxqVYu_69va9r_Ua7G-Edy_D7NzEX6YWW03dmgJq9KBj3XTE1eR3I1I-OQBZ9vLU4KR-mBF5mZhciNRZQHbBB3STaMPPp1GfKcXXDw6ivDb59mnfiS0bCpcftD38ywtavFkcsVTC5QEmJ1XY0=s72-c","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-3709055041342777224"},"published":{"$t":"2021-12-16T19:48:00.001-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-12-16T20:26:15.501-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"mental health"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"mental illness"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Before and after"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEgU8chKROY2BgXxXD-3UMHJqaSZhGfbhyEV-w1fHXFCzzMLC-ycaMdvrMSLSgHGm9SQDxZ4AhXhs9XUUXPpOz-CUjAZhlTISYMUjowMVYfIYioWF1irPJ883EbmTtK5BFKjtw_JOp2pLdPFeGMu5tf4KzVlU1e8bfByNpZrqHPAL65gManuNC5uAAIq=s1920\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"871\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEgU8chKROY2BgXxXD-3UMHJqaSZhGfbhyEV-w1fHXFCzzMLC-ycaMdvrMSLSgHGm9SQDxZ4AhXhs9XUUXPpOz-CUjAZhlTISYMUjowMVYfIYioWF1irPJ883EbmTtK5BFKjtw_JOp2pLdPFeGMu5tf4KzVlU1e8bfByNpZrqHPAL65gManuNC5uAAIq=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou call in to work, saying that you won't come in today because you're too afraid to drive on exceedingly dangerous snowy and icy roads.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ETheir response? \"It's your responsibility to get to your place of work on time. You chose it, knowing all the possible risks associated with it. It's your problem, not ours. You won't get paid.\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou drive into work on exceedingly dangerous snowy and icy roads. You get into an accident.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ETheir response? \"You poor thing! Why did you come in today? You should have stayed home!\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E***\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEgqE2JhJ5K-xJBWsc7_-w0X6FfISj-URP6ze9CB0q696Nq7OffGcr1mw9sU7z6DYo8rsNOWgv9WRsR289eH7Dya2TfvmcU929DxLrDbOve2fyhqrVlXYD8fERFoW5SsxGxgKh_ReMANXrRgQgtOJBWGncn6YLZ7LUe3CGIgpmaxCRlGlXDguw0e_3T-=s960\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEgqE2JhJ5K-xJBWsc7_-w0X6FfISj-URP6ze9CB0q696Nq7OffGcr1mw9sU7z6DYo8rsNOWgv9WRsR289eH7Dya2TfvmcU929DxLrDbOve2fyhqrVlXYD8fERFoW5SsxGxgKh_ReMANXrRgQgtOJBWGncn6YLZ7LUe3CGIgpmaxCRlGlXDguw0e_3T-=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou cancel yet another get-together. They're fed up with you. That's the third time in 6 months! They voice their frustration with your \"flakiness\" behind your back - except, like all gossip, it reaches you eventually.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou are distraught. The reason you cancelled was because you had just spent 4 days in bed, with food-stained clothes and very disgusting hair, and you simply couldn't muster the energy to have a shower, buy a bottle of wine, bring an appetizer, and show up ready to interact normally with other humans. If you'd have tried to explain, they might have said to \"just come as you are! We love you no matter what!\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut would they? A greasy, grey, down-cast, no-use-to-anyone you? \u003Ci\u003EYou\u003C\/i\u003E don't like that person. She's a total downer. If you had the option, you wouldn't hang out with her.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou are sure that nobody else can love her. So you hide her when she arrives. You lie, even if it threatens to destroy relationships. Because you know that being dropped for being \"flaky\" is a million times better than being dropped for being what you are: too sensitive. Too wimpy. Someone who belongs into a loony bin?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou make up an excuse: You tell them you had the stomach flu. Or diarrhea. You had a migraine. A fight with your husband. You had bad PMS. Mystery pain in your left kidney. Anything but the truth:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EI couldn't face you. Not just you, but anyone.\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003EI couldn't get out of bed.\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003EMy depression was so debilitating that I couldn't\u0026nbsp;muster the energy to have a shower.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003EMy anxiety was so severe that I couldn't face a roomful of people.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003EI've been so stressed out that I can't be \"normal\". All I want to do is cry and wallow about everything that's been lost. And I know that you want to move on (I do, too!), so I thought it's best to not come. Because I'm not there yet.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EThey don't know it though. Because you are so very good at hiding how you feel, and pretending that everything is fine.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003ESo they get annoyed, and maybe they will distance themselves from you. The invitations dry up, and who can blame them?\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EIt's only ever\u0026nbsp;\u003Cb\u003Eafter\u003C\/b\u003E\u0026nbsp;that they understand.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003EAfter\u003C\/i\u003E the breakdown.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003EAfter \u003C\/i\u003Ethe public tears, or yelling, or losing it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003EAfter\u003C\/i\u003E the suicide attempt.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003EAfter \u003C\/i\u003E- the suicide.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E***\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEi2tj3mD7t86PHPgRtw1Z4D5sXbsGq272HCRqzIEyWX3XaStaJAocXsLiHencJibJzxJsFUTI6qWfLSR5FFQTyYIxMuX_pFgR-CGA0_9GJ2ypBoKQ570Er9oMGmDX2T8tsIxrgTtBldtPBG_kh4LNfxM1o3GiXJ4PVsRizbiWAgI-Z1mqhoeqp5jbBh=s960\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEi2tj3mD7t86PHPgRtw1Z4D5sXbsGq272HCRqzIEyWX3XaStaJAocXsLiHencJibJzxJsFUTI6qWfLSR5FFQTyYIxMuX_pFgR-CGA0_9GJ2ypBoKQ570Er9oMGmDX2T8tsIxrgTtBldtPBG_kh4LNfxM1o3GiXJ4PVsRizbiWAgI-Z1mqhoeqp5jbBh=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou are known for being competent, reliable, good at your job. Your co-workers know they can rely on you, and they love this about you. You always have a smile on your face. Everybody assumes you are fine, because you act fine.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhat they don't know is how much it costs you some days to keep up the facade of normality. How you pour every last ounce of your energy and strength into appearing normal at work, and how you have nothing left by the time you get home. All you can do is crawl into bed and hide.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThis takes a toll on your personal life. Your family wants you to be present for them, and they get annoyed that you are (seemingly) perfectly okay at work, and a total wreck at home. Understandably, they want some of you for themselves as well.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAt some point, you have to make a choice. You want to do both, and quite often you \u003Ci\u003Edo\u003C\/i\u003E both exceedingly well - but not always. And when you have to choose, and you choose your personal life over work by taking some time off, or going on stress-leave, or quitting - work is shocked.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThey have no idea where this comes from. Everything looked fine, right? You seemed perfectly content, didn't you? Why did you leave? What's going on?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEjhsYpFg8Qjamz_GayTub-dBoHn13-Y44veiqWKvxqrutfFm9S0p3O5Uty6WChni5hA-TlMmffQG6bl7ig6IBWsDPvTOuMjVdfItJJ_n5O4kXy2qGSbJuPKfKrHHsuvmR1MgqyBrDivOlOdwCtalrDLzDbAsoM0a-pkP7Xtm4h5IQOp1zPzGztkNMBz=s1920\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1280\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEjhsYpFg8Qjamz_GayTub-dBoHn13-Y44veiqWKvxqrutfFm9S0p3O5Uty6WChni5hA-TlMmffQG6bl7ig6IBWsDPvTOuMjVdfItJJ_n5O4kXy2qGSbJuPKfKrHHsuvmR1MgqyBrDivOlOdwCtalrDLzDbAsoM0a-pkP7Xtm4h5IQOp1zPzGztkNMBz=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EWhat's going on is that it's still almost impossible to talk about your mental health struggles.\u003C\/b\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou know how people are highly uncomfortable with death? As in, we never really talk about it in our culture, which translates into us not knowing how to behave around someone who just lost a loved one, or how it's perceived as morbid wanting to talk about death. We are supremely awkward around death, even though it's the one thing that unites all of us: everybody has to die. Doesn't make sense, but here we are.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's the same with mental illness. I've talked somewhat openly on my blog about my own journey with depression, PMDD, and more recently, anxiety, for roughly 8 years. I try to insert it into my everyday life as well by talking about my issues freely, and trying to get a conversation going so others can share their own stuff. More often than not it dies before it even starts.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI sent a link to\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/11\/sitting-with-pain.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ethis article\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;to a friend after cancelling yet another invite. I have cancelled a few times during the 3 or 4 years of our friendship, always using the trusty old excuses I mentioned above (not feeling well; headache; stomach issues), and I wanted to come clean.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhen we met after, she hugged me tight and thanked me for sharing this with her. But as soon as I tried to start a conversation, her and her husband looked so pained that I changed the subject after a couple of minutes. \u003Ci\u003ENot ready\u003C\/i\u003E, I thought to myself, and I wasn't offended.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut it does worry me. All 4 of us have lost friends and family to suicide or were witnesses of attempted suicide. This isn't an issue that's far removed - it's one that touched each and every one of us.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEgdxP0iyep1pO5lyyB1Jb630X4eIHi3QA7w3DW5QUuCIMDlUAjHNovFFTHKcEaHcTuYDMxTmfPxPK8mgrv5Fl18FvJKgPa45IAjGFuWfyOzt7voy1UJOIug_aKDYIuVVRUbmmUZKsrk4LNC_OA2vOiFvqd4f7ywXc3odhh8mPUdSU1VY9CQvvImoBxk=s1920\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1271\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEgdxP0iyep1pO5lyyB1Jb630X4eIHi3QA7w3DW5QUuCIMDlUAjHNovFFTHKcEaHcTuYDMxTmfPxPK8mgrv5Fl18FvJKgPa45IAjGFuWfyOzt7voy1UJOIug_aKDYIuVVRUbmmUZKsrk4LNC_OA2vOiFvqd4f7ywXc3odhh8mPUdSU1VY9CQvvImoBxk=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's the same at work. I work in healthcare, and you would think that talking about mental health would be normal, right? Well, think again.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's still something that makes people deeply uncomfortable. One reason is that most healthcare workers (myself included) have zero training in how to deal with people who are in mental distress.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe resources are scarce. In the case of the rural hospitals I work at, there is nobody there who is trained to deal with a patient who self-harms, has homicidal or suicidal ideations, or displays any other form of mental struggle. We have to get them transferred to a larger hospital, where psychiatric staff and social workers are present. That's several hours before they see anyone who can offer real help, which is disheartening to everybody.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThere's such a long way to go before we will be able to casually mention over coffee with our co-workers that we've been having a difficult time with our latest depression episode.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EUntil that happens, I will endure the awkward silences and hasty changes of subject.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBecause what we're having right now, with the after being tragic, heartbreaking, and sometimes irreversible?\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's unacceptable. We have to do better.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/3709055041342777224\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/12\/before-and-after.html#comment-form","title":"6 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3709055041342777224"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3709055041342777224"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/12\/before-and-after.html","title":"Before and after"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEgU8chKROY2BgXxXD-3UMHJqaSZhGfbhyEV-w1fHXFCzzMLC-ycaMdvrMSLSgHGm9SQDxZ4AhXhs9XUUXPpOz-CUjAZhlTISYMUjowMVYfIYioWF1irPJ883EbmTtK5BFKjtw_JOp2pLdPFeGMu5tf4KzVlU1e8bfByNpZrqHPAL65gManuNC5uAAIq=s72-c","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"6"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-6882870104490101152"},"published":{"$t":"2021-12-05T12:40:00.003-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-12-06T18:51:33.669-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"depression"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"mental health"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"\"You're too sensitive\""},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEh05r9mRa9d-oIiWJGQU7vKLLPVlVkSUgdKTMjvHh9zaEdNJo-ywBpN_tQrFTpFrxNWBjOona6fYaihH7zqnonkkoXSEnNm_kzV38QRtp9DP_XtyuY-ufDtW_bECcSd5fD0lqaoKM9UwQtsFCL1wfx7JL6JNc-bwDJuAx_qZs3VsX2f5hldQ1b_wfBS=s1920\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1278\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEh05r9mRa9d-oIiWJGQU7vKLLPVlVkSUgdKTMjvHh9zaEdNJo-ywBpN_tQrFTpFrxNWBjOona6fYaihH7zqnonkkoXSEnNm_kzV38QRtp9DP_XtyuY-ufDtW_bECcSd5fD0lqaoKM9UwQtsFCL1wfx7JL6JNc-bwDJuAx_qZs3VsX2f5hldQ1b_wfBS=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EWithout warning I started to cry during the Santa parade and had to leave.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ETears were pricking my eyes when I saw the \"Welcome back Health Care Team\" sign in front of the hospital.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI had to take some deep breaths when I read the simple words \"Welcome back\" taped to the door of WalMart so I wouldn't start bawling like a loser right in front of WalMart.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhen I hear sad stories about patients my eyes get glassy from unshed tears. The nurses probably think I'm insane.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhen patients I know and cared for die I have to have a little cry in the bathroom at work.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EEvery single time I've seen First Nation Peoples drum or make music (during said Santa parade; in front of the post office last year in honour of essential workers; for our long-term care residents last summer; in remembrance of a friend's death) it makes me unspeakably sad.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https:\/\/www.blogger.com\/video.g?token=AD6v5dyWvv0sKYSzHRsf_XsPV0UI_anhDb0qirfYC00izOYWFus_Ur6XiRzovZbWzNiyUOJtDLapgDhrxDf4_iivAw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https:\/\/www.blogger.com\/video.g?token=AD6v5dwNk2Qo4kVMfJhHNC1-OM9XflIhsaQLD_5ZfFAT9-XKmn5i9owc_LWdC_TpQ9fjdCt1KkD9cWSWvMS7UXqpPw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI can't explain the reason; I feel a heaviness descending upon me, as if I get a tiny glimpse into the suffering and unfairness they've endured, and all I want to do is wail. You know how people have sad music they listen to when they feel down? That's my sad music.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003ELast week my husband said yes to a spontaneous invite to our friends' house without checking with me first if I wanted to go. I had settled in on the couch with a glass of wine, candles and Christmas tree lit, watching a Christmas movie. I wasn't mentally ready to go, but he begged and wheedled, so I agreed.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EAt the beginning of the night I had a great time: we were talking and laughing and joking around. But after a while, I suddenly started to check out. They continued talking, but I grew quiet. I couldn't explain why; I told them I was tired. But it wasn't really tiredness; it was a bone-weariness that literally stole my ability to talk and interact. I just sat there silently, staring into space, wanting to go home and crawl into bed.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cb\u003EIt was as if my light had been blown out and I was dark. \u003C\/b\u003ENo power in the world could have cajoled, threatened or forced me to participate and continue on; my batteries were completely drained.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003ESometimes I get the sudden unshakable conviction that nobody likes me. I revert back to an insecure child that thinks that all her friends talk bad about her behind her back. Is it logical? No. But it's such a strong, overpowering belief that I feel all the pain and hurt I felt as a child when people really were mean to me. It feels 100% real.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEjluUe96dHR6M1Kunfuu4bKe8sJ8u11PmG2MoQ-tzzeLPIIAN7UBr0IHnESBKvtQZ5hhYtCMWK_Z8FFiZbFBpHeU-VA-5nw7-DYBNjvKTuamUR5cHknjj_L6S-4XB3SOr3ONMK0T64guOa1d72cXGtHngNQPDDym2IoshdOb_Z1Ggi00_KTJoomPErA=s960\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEjluUe96dHR6M1Kunfuu4bKe8sJ8u11PmG2MoQ-tzzeLPIIAN7UBr0IHnESBKvtQZ5hhYtCMWK_Z8FFiZbFBpHeU-VA-5nw7-DYBNjvKTuamUR5cHknjj_L6S-4XB3SOr3ONMK0T64guOa1d72cXGtHngNQPDDym2IoshdOb_Z1Ggi00_KTJoomPErA=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\"You're too sensitive.\" I heard that all through my childhood.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\"Pull yourself together,\" was usually the follow-up. As if it were that easy.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\"What do you have to be sad\/upset about? Don't be such a drama-queen.\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EBeing accused of being attention-seeking or \"ruining everybody's day\/vacation\/party\/good time\" when it requires all your energy to get through the day and act normal is a special kind of hell.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EIt's like telling someone in a wheelchair to stop pretending and start walking.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI feel guilty for being this way because I \u003Ci\u003Eknow\u003C\/i\u003E how good my life is and how much I have to be thankful for.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI \u003Ci\u003Eam\u003C\/i\u003E thankful. And I \u003Ci\u003Eam\u003C\/i\u003E happy.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EBut I'm also sensitive. I cry easily. I feel things deeply. I sometimes think a vital layer of skin is missing; the one that protects from the harshness and cruelty of the world. I seem to have misplaced that layer, which means that outside forces can penetrate with laughable ease.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI don't know if that's part of my mental illness, or if that's just how I am. On the \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.16personalities.com\/free-personality-test\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EMyers-Briggs scale\u003C\/a\u003E I'm an INFJ, so maybe it's a combination of having depression and how I'm made.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEjF542lWoRP2X83qJF1DCCDjUKpJ619cZaVWOIuisOR8ULv3g6NSEKytWCc1NqpnAZLcjJ76fAjnCeBc88iMHoUiRsMMhz-Ryn8UF9zKe551IXeG7tto7bCH4sn9BCH5Y0NbT5O9cL7MNKnthQr3dkRjvLvYyqTZCttl2P83po3Hh0AFWtoK3wnOGvz=s960\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"960\" data-original-width=\"528\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEjF542lWoRP2X83qJF1DCCDjUKpJ619cZaVWOIuisOR8ULv3g6NSEKytWCc1NqpnAZLcjJ76fAjnCeBc88iMHoUiRsMMhz-Ryn8UF9zKe551IXeG7tto7bCH4sn9BCH5Y0NbT5O9cL7MNKnthQr3dkRjvLvYyqTZCttl2P83po3Hh0AFWtoK3wnOGvz=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EWhy am I sharing this today?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EBecause one year ago a friend took his own life. We don't really know why the world became too heavy for him, because he didn't want to talk about it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EOne of the most awful and insidious parts of having depression is that it makes you feel like a burden. That's why we try so hard to hide it - we know how heavy it is, and we don't want to burden anybody else. So we smile on the outside, are the life of the party, offer shoulders to lean on and ears to listen, encourage others and pretend to be fine. But we are not fine. We are numb inside and feel disconnected from the world, like there is an invisible barrier separating us from everybody else. That separation is the loneliest feeling in the world.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EBut it's incredibly hard to talk about, especially if we have friends and family who love us and a life that looks good. It might even\u003Ci\u003E be\u003C\/i\u003E good, which makes it even worse! How can we complain if we have so much to be grateful for? When so many other people have it worse? How can we be so selfish and ungrateful?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EOur friend didn't share how he felt, and now it's too late. There could be many possible reasons why he didn't seek help: shame, fear, embarrassment, feeling like he was the only one, not wanting to appear weak, not wanting to come across as a loser.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEgeZDObbybzd3P1l4P24ZDdRAp9KgVJ_-y64XHqtzTbvAfRlfs3KZ0PH4E81aYvyQ7L3Pve7folN3oApNnB4NhNt2qDCrD8U7pRk2YF_wYlHd5cm8R-Cs7iezcrwWcDvpZ3zuicWeTkYLAqB359mglhDalJLuxleB3F5t9xn8OqWG5h07-9iBXLBbFq=s1920\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1280\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEgeZDObbybzd3P1l4P24ZDdRAp9KgVJ_-y64XHqtzTbvAfRlfs3KZ0PH4E81aYvyQ7L3Pve7folN3oApNnB4NhNt2qDCrD8U7pRk2YF_wYlHd5cm8R-Cs7iezcrwWcDvpZ3zuicWeTkYLAqB359mglhDalJLuxleB3F5t9xn8OqWG5h07-9iBXLBbFq=s16000\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI can't change that. All I can do is talk about how \u003Ci\u003EI \u003C\/i\u003Efeel, as someone who is sensitive and has depression, in the hopes to make it more acceptable to talk about.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003ELet's normalize mental illness and the large variety of mental conditions. We know that there are hundreds or thousands of physical ailments; why is it so difficult to accept that there are just as many mental ones? The brain is our most sophisticated organ, so it only makes sense that it's prone to glitching, malfunctioning, or breaking down.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EEvery machine does, our body does, why not our brain?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EWe are multi-faceted, complicated beings who have many more emotions than just happy or sad. The world isn't black and white, and human beings aren't just one of two things; they are a chaotic, complicated, beautiful mess of emotions.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI'm grieving for our friend and his family. I'm grieving for anybody who has lost someone to mental illness.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EBut most of all, I want to keep the conversation going, so that people out there who feel numb and lost and separated from the world find the courage to seek help.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI hope that a person who believes that the world would be better off without them realizes that it's their disease lying to them. Their malfunctioning brain has turned against them: it's telling them lies, twisting their thoughts, and messing with their body, mind and soul.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003ELet's keep talking about it for as long as it takes for people to recognize mental illness as a real illness, not something that's \"just in your head\".\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EAs Dumbledore said to Harry:\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\"Of course it is all happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/6882870104490101152\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/12\/youre-too-sensitive.html#comment-form","title":"4 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/6882870104490101152"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/6882870104490101152"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/12\/youre-too-sensitive.html","title":"\"You're too sensitive\""}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/img\/a\/AVvXsEh05r9mRa9d-oIiWJGQU7vKLLPVlVkSUgdKTMjvHh9zaEdNJo-ywBpN_tQrFTpFrxNWBjOona6fYaihH7zqnonkkoXSEnNm_kzV38QRtp9DP_XtyuY-ufDtW_bECcSd5fD0lqaoKM9UwQtsFCL1wfx7JL6JNc-bwDJuAx_qZs3VsX2f5hldQ1b_wfBS=s72-c","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"4"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-3593362171430076516"},"published":{"$t":"2021-12-01T21:14:00.010-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-12-02T09:41:38.729-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"hospital diaries"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"x-ray"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"The joys and woes of being a rural x-ray technologist"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-J7Nd6WPwWz4\/YaggxvFLn-I\/AAAAAAAA4ns\/eKKmQWuquHoWUlVpmarlhwGb9ebxqtMpgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Sunrise%2Bon%2B97c.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-J7Nd6WPwWz4\/YaggxvFLn-I\/AAAAAAAA4ns\/eKKmQWuquHoWUlVpmarlhwGb9ebxqtMpgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Sunrise%2Bon%2B97c.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe fog is thick and dense. It's still dark outside, and with the impenetrable fog I can see nothing but a white wall surrounding me. Visibility? What visibility? I'm crawling at a speed of less than 50km\/h, hoping the fog will clear at some point. Even though I've left two hours early, I may be late if I have to drive the entire 108 kilometers at this snail's pace.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBAM!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI hit the brakes, remembering at the last split second not to slam them down too hard in case of ice. A deer jumped right in front of my car, literally out of nowhere. I didn't hit it. Before I have time to breathe a sigh of relief, I catch movement to my left out of the corner of my eye - another deer. Its head appears like an apparition in my side window, then it's gone again. I keep driving on autopilot, trying to process what just happened: did a deer almost hit me - right after I almost hit another deer? What the hell?!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt takes a while for my wildly beating heart to calm down. As I am winding my way up the mountain I leave the fog behind, rising above it like a phoenix out of the ashes into the rising sun. \u003Ci\u003EBeautiful.\u003C\/i\u003E I see more deer along the way, but fortunately none of them are on the road.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EFor the past two years I've jokingly called myself a \"travelling x-ray technologist\" because I'm on the road between 10 and 20 days every month to travel to various rural hospitals. I love it; it gives me variety, the pleasure of exploring small towns, and when I go outside during lunch I'm in nature right away. I love small town people, especially the old cowboys and tough old ladies - they have the best stories!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EPlus, I love the drives. I've seen a mama bear with her cub just a few weeks ago; shared the road with wild sheep and half-wild horses; drove right along bald eagles as they were soaring above the river, both of us reveling in our freedom. I've watched cowboys on horseback herding cattle, saw a calf being born last spring, and have driven towards rainbows more than once.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lerHgk0zb_0\/YaggmoH1KSI\/AAAAAAAA4no\/0-nXhgIV3vwuaJbULlkOFIFl0XCVTgY_gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1028\/242483617_116509877432617_4512672999083985545_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1028\" data-original-width=\"1028\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lerHgk0zb_0\/YaggmoH1KSI\/AAAAAAAA4no\/0-nXhgIV3vwuaJbULlkOFIFl0XCVTgY_gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/242483617_116509877432617_4512672999083985545_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https:\/\/www.blogger.com\/video.g?token=AD6v5dyx-I3s4QsCebV8e-4rHkWXFYGaROQZjD-qB4Qiu_YgrWCxfml0fiseNYMsMqOmQDxIdAyWXUytZbdEJ7r1CA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe drives are one of the things I love the most about my job - unless they get scary.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ETwo winters ago I got stuck in a snowstorm on top of the mountain in the middle of the night that was so severe, I was blind. I literally couldn't see the road, so I put my hazards on and inched my way forward, terrified that I might slide off the road into the ditch, or worse, down a cliff. Every time a car came I was scared that it may not see me and hit me - I felt like a sitting duck. I kept muttering to myself \"it's okay, you're okay, everything is okay\", but when I finally arrived home hours later I dissolved into tears.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThere have been days where the wind was so violent it felt like a mob of angry soccer fans was trying to push my car over. Other days the entire so-called \"highway\" is iced over like an ice rink, making me wish I could attach blades over my tires and skate home.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThankfully those drives are few and far between, and most of the time I have the best commute I can imagine.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-rsvPxfR3UJc\/Yagir4ROUBI\/AAAAAAAA4n0\/rhSl_jiA_Isqa-1M0nE42XuITXsXUPc7QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/117810220_679434642921570_8753239773084972779_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-rsvPxfR3UJc\/Yagir4ROUBI\/AAAAAAAA4n0\/rhSl_jiA_Isqa-1M0nE42XuITXsXUPc7QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/117810220_679434642921570_8753239773084972779_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-d4x5WgjbFUU\/Yagc58CwiUI\/AAAAAAAA4ng\/orB5-syd60g3PPdLSTK5R-sNycIzEI-WACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Petit%2BCreek%2Bbridge.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"608\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-d4x5WgjbFUU\/Yagc58CwiUI\/AAAAAAAA4ng\/orB5-syd60g3PPdLSTK5R-sNycIzEI-WACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Petit%2BCreek%2Bbridge.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI started this gig in the fall of 2019, and everything was going \u003Ci\u003Egreat\u003C\/i\u003E. I was so excited that I had finally found my niche! I was loving the travelling, eating in small diners, getting take-out Chinese from a surprisingly excellent place in a tiny town, wandering the streets with their quaint Christmas decorations in the winter and flower displays in the summer. At night I would sit in my staff residence, typing on my laptop, reading books or watching Netflix, while awaiting getting called back to the hospital.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI walked a lot, slept soundly, and overall enjoyed myself tremendously.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EUntil June 30th of this year.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThat's the day when Lytton burnt down. Lytton was one of my rural hospitals, and it was flattened by a raging fire that devoured most of the village, including the entire hospital. I was completely shocked.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI had stayed upstairs of the hospital in the department provided for staff many times. I watched all of \u003Ci\u003ETiger King\u003C\/i\u003E in that cozy apartment, which I will forever associate with the beginning of lockdown; I had Lily, my corgi, with me every time I stayed there; I started writing my novel there.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-SpnNR6s88N4\/YagzpORVVoI\/AAAAAAAA4n8\/ejwlDDxIJ6wjE_MByvrL2EvbRPAyhTEOACNcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Lytton%2Bfave%2Bview.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-SpnNR6s88N4\/YagzpORVVoI\/AAAAAAAA4n8\/ejwlDDxIJ6wjE_MByvrL2EvbRPAyhTEOACNcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Lytton%2Bfave%2Bview.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-TzDFqCSUUbY\/Yagz6fCRyNI\/AAAAAAAA4oI\/XwQLWnY5v_4m3QLFqzVBNVt7aXvY21ygACNcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/76960153_115682019921497_7651491353605490027_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-TzDFqCSUUbY\/Yagz6fCRyNI\/AAAAAAAA4oI\/XwQLWnY5v_4m3QLFqzVBNVt7aXvY21ygACNcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/76960153_115682019921497_7651491353605490027_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-B2H2WqMBmY8\/Yagz6QRQqYI\/AAAAAAAA4oM\/GJ20V5PAJ0sK07nNlJgmyXQ71LoGxof0gCNcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/91075591_226285898574566_5312291899554106516_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-B2H2WqMBmY8\/Yagz6QRQqYI\/AAAAAAAA4oM\/GJ20V5PAJ0sK07nNlJgmyXQ71LoGxof0gCNcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/91075591_226285898574566_5312291899554106516_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-HtLM-3i1L6Y\/Yagz6R0OqTI\/AAAAAAAA4oQ\/2SjsZTQLni8AfSIJ6hJwhBeRvgL1mtsywCNcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Lytton%2Bwinter.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-HtLM-3i1L6Y\/Yagz6R0OqTI\/AAAAAAAA4oQ\/2SjsZTQLni8AfSIJ6hJwhBeRvgL1mtsywCNcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Lytton%2Bwinter.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI walked all over the village dozens of times. I had breakfast in the diner, and regularly bought California rolls with spicy sauce from the local grocery store that I would eat in the small, leafy courtyard off the hospital building.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMy friend and I received both of our Covid-shots in Lytton.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-7MHGzMB_DXc\/Yag0xjC1e7I\/AAAAAAAA4og\/yTe7PC1Q3VYy-I0sDkNU9LbeeS5bfdp9ACNcBGAsYHQ\/s1511\/Fully%2Bvaccinated%2521.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1459\" data-original-width=\"1511\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-7MHGzMB_DXc\/Yag0xjC1e7I\/AAAAAAAA4og\/yTe7PC1Q3VYy-I0sDkNU9LbeeS5bfdp9ACNcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Fully%2Bvaccinated%2521.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: x-small;\"\u003EMay 5, 2021 after our second shot. We were so excited.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt was a special place. And it was gone. Just like that.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAfter the Lytton fire I was very unsettled. Nothing felt safe; if one village could burn down within minutes, who said that another one wouldn't follow? It kept being hot and dry, and the worst part: the fire kept burning.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ENot only did it keep burning, but it kept multiplying. Within weeks there were hundreds of fires. Soon, there were \u003Ci\u003Ethousands\u003C\/i\u003E. That was just in our province; there were many more in other provinces, and even more in other countries. In my memory, the summer of 2021 will always be the summer where the world burnt.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-0_X4oLGdWJ4\/Yag2xOUqhEI\/AAAAAAAA4oo\/ul7kUQn7S14yD4aTyXLTAY_REVwa6XEogCLcBGAsYHQ\/s640\/Hospital%2Bon%2Bfire.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"427\" data-original-width=\"640\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-0_X4oLGdWJ4\/Yag2xOUqhEI\/AAAAAAAA4oo\/ul7kUQn7S14yD4aTyXLTAY_REVwa6XEogCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Hospital%2Bon%2Bfire.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: x-small;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003ELytton hospital burning, June 30, 2021\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-spL5kchbZOE\/Yag267Mb1yI\/AAAAAAAA4os\/vdq80tFihSsHFVYlGOuJSc_xv2fVRJ0twCNcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/The%2Bfire%2Bwas%2Bcoming%2Bcloser.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-spL5kchbZOE\/Yag267Mb1yI\/AAAAAAAA4os\/vdq80tFihSsHFVYlGOuJSc_xv2fVRJ0twCNcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/The%2Bfire%2Bwas%2Bcoming%2Bcloser.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-cStOYDQI2Po\/Yag27IuSCTI\/AAAAAAAA4o0\/MnzhE58MvZUnlq3Ln7A-iRhXQmMMX80xgCNcBGAsYHQ\/s720\/Craigmont%2Bmine%2Bfire%2Bbehind%2BMerritt%2B%25282%2529.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"665\" data-original-width=\"720\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-cStOYDQI2Po\/Yag27IuSCTI\/AAAAAAAA4o0\/MnzhE58MvZUnlq3Ln7A-iRhXQmMMX80xgCNcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Craigmont%2Bmine%2Bfire%2Bbehind%2BMerritt%2B%25282%2529.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: x-small;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EMerritt Coalmont Mine burning August 15, 2021\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-z16cXd1Zmag\/Yag27EG_iRI\/AAAAAAAA4ow\/pJAHo8vlcaAaG7ct_905JQvZjUZix51ywCNcBGAsYHQ\/s800\/Coquihalla%2Bfire.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"600\" data-original-width=\"800\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-z16cXd1Zmag\/Yag27EG_iRI\/AAAAAAAA4ow\/pJAHo8vlcaAaG7ct_905JQvZjUZix51ywCNcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Coquihalla%2Bfire.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMe and my other hospitals were soon impacted again. Ashcroft and Merritt hospitals were both on evacuation alerts because they were surrounded by fire. The air in Ashcroft was smoky for weeks; we had lots of patients come in who suffered from the poor air quality. One of the nurses who comes from out of town came for her block of shifts once, experienced the terrible air quality that wreaked havoc on her asthma, and hasn't been back since.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-gz6x22rd89w\/Yag5sEJeHoI\/AAAAAAAA4pE\/6fY-uC1_CX4OY5nCJ70IGqyB_Mvk5MlNACNcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Orange%2Bsky%2BAshcroft.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-gz6x22rd89w\/Yag5sEJeHoI\/AAAAAAAA4pE\/6fY-uC1_CX4OY5nCJ70IGqyB_Mvk5MlNACNcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Orange%2Bsky%2BAshcroft.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: x-small;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EAshcroft in August 2021\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: x-small;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI never knew in the morning if my roads to work would still be open; it changed rapidly day-by-day. Checking \u003Ci\u003Edrivebc\u003C\/i\u003E became part of my daily routine. (I have yet to shake the habit; even now I check it every time before I leave for work.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhen the roads were open, I frequently drove past smoking or burning trees.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou never knew what you would find from one day to another.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOn August 15th, we were ordered to evacuate as well. Since our animals were impossible to evacuate on short notice, we decided to stay. We were amongst the lucky ones who weren't touched by the fire.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EFive days later, the order was lifted, and our neighbours returned.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ECuriously, \u003Ci\u003Eafter\u003C\/i\u003E everybody returned, we had the Structure Protection Unit (SPU) in our neighbourhood for a full weekend. They were measuring, assessing, putting sprinklers on people's houses, putting up bladders - all after the fact. Was it in preparation of an even larger disaster looming just around the corner we didn't know about? Or in preparation of future disasters? We didn't know. Nobody told us.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt felt equally reassuring and unsettling. My takeaway from it was that \"they\" - the authorities, politicians, scientists, whoever had a voice at the time - were as freaked out as we were.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-sRj6mrFvu8g\/Yag6R1H8_-I\/AAAAAAAA4pM\/jooYrTSbl4wTM0YlLdBZJdgGglG9p8tNwCNcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Our%2Bown%2Bbladder.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-sRj6mrFvu8g\/Yag6R1H8_-I\/AAAAAAAA4pM\/jooYrTSbl4wTM0YlLdBZJdgGglG9p8tNwCNcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Our%2Bown%2Bbladder.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: x-small;\"\u003EOur own bladder for a bit over a week. When they took it away we figured we were either safe - or fucked.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI couldn't wait for that summer to be over. And that's saying something, since I \u003Ci\u003Elove\u003C\/i\u003E summer. I live for those hot, endless summer days, spent in rivers and lakes and my hammock, enjoying the lingering warmth of a hot-summers-day late at night.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut in the late summer of 2021, I wanted fall to arrive STAT, preferably with lots of rain.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EFall came.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd with it, rain.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut before that happened, for a brief time, I drove through the devastated landscape of my former paradise, believing it was all over and I could now grieve for what had been lost.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI drove through black skinny stumps; trees that still looked liked trees but had lost all their needles and turned fiery red; hills that were blackened and bare, but where, after a few short weeks, I could detect a hint of green breaking through the earth.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI thought we had finally left those awful, terrifying months of heat, unstoppable fires and utter destruction behind us.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe did.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd then the next tragedy hit.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOn November 15, a Monday, I left for work shortly before 7am, as usual. It had been a rainy weekend, and I had stayed off my phone for an entire day. Rich and I had been watching TV all day Sunday, and I was so enthralled that I not only ignored the outside world, but also managed to forget about my phone for once, which was rare.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI noticed the rain, but didn't think much about it. After all, I had grown up with rain, lived in the rainy Lower Mainland for 13 years - what was a bit of extra rain here? After the oppressively dry summer, I was sure it was a good thing. A deposit towards the next dry summer, right?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAs I was driving along the Nicola river that rainy Monday morning, I noticed that it was as high as it only ever is during the snow melt in the spring. 'Shit, it must have rained a lot', I was thinking, but I wasn't worried. I did take notice of a few trucks parked by the road a little while later, which was highly unusual at this time of day. I was usually alone on this road. I saw that there was a tiny bit of water on the road that had seeped in from the river, but I still wasn't worried. Just a lot of rain - it never lasted long around here.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhen I arrived at work, I was rudely yanked out of my happy, oblivious bubble.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"Merritt is flooding!\" were the words I was greeted with. \"Are you okay?\" I was disorientated. What? \u003Ci\u003EWhat?? \u003C\/i\u003EMy town\u003Ci\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003Ewas flooding? How did I not know that? Were they for real?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMy worried co-workers quickly filled my dumb-ass-self in. The \"tiny bit of water on the road\" was a pale imitation of what was happening just a few kilometres away from home.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMerritt had flooded. The waste treatment plant was out of commission. The drinking water was contaminated. All 7,000+ residents of Merritt were evacuated immediately.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe long-term care residents were being evacuated.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe hospital patients were evacuated.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EEverything was to be shut down as soon as possible.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-TgD5ktx-lNU\/YahLnZUonRI\/AAAAAAAA4pU\/aGItw3iV6RMTzCK3WKCO1XMcVqWXiZU9ACNcBGAsYHQ\/s1180\/merritt-flooding.webp\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"885\" data-original-width=\"1180\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-TgD5ktx-lNU\/YahLnZUonRI\/AAAAAAAA4pU\/aGItw3iV6RMTzCK3WKCO1XMcVqWXiZU9ACNcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/merritt-flooding.webp\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAs flabbergasted as I was by all of this, it wasn't even the worst of it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe highways were shutting down one by one.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EEntire bridges were washed away.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMud slides took away highway, bridges - and people.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIn the hours and days that followed we would hear horrifying stories of cars being engulfed by mud slides - with people still inside.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe would learn of thousands of horses, cattle, chickens, and other livestock being drowned.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe would see footage of people's houses being swept away by the roiling, dirty-brown water - people who were our friends, neighbours, and co-workers.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut before I knew all that, I was over 100 km away from my home, with the roads that separated me from my loved ones rapidly closing. \"I'm going home,\" I told them at 11am, and not one person stopped me. On the contrary, they urged me to \"Go! Be careful! Text us when you get home!\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI promised I would, and I left.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt still seemed surreal, because even though it was raining slightly in Ashcroft, everything looked fine. The people looked calm, just going about their normal business on a Monday morning. I was still in my happy bubble from the weekend, and didn't know if maybe my co-workers were exaggerating. How bad could it be just a 100 kilometres away from here? But I had told them I was going home, so I'd better do just that. Worst case I would tell them tomorrow that the Internet had exaggerated wildly, as per usual.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHaving driven past the Nicola river only 4 hours before, I was sure I would be okay to drive back the same way. So I set off that way.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI had no idea about the severity of the situation.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThere was a roadblock on the intersection of highway 1 and highway 8. Highway 1 was closed, due to a bridge collapsing; nobody stopped me as I was turning left onto highway 8.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhen I crossed the first bridge a couple of minutes into highway 8, I started to feel uneasy. The river was high, wild, and fast. It looked unbridled; it looked mean.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI drove over it, breathing a sigh of relief when I made it over.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI knew there were more bridges to come, but I had suddenly developed a heretofore unknown ability to live in the moment. I didn't worry about what was to come; I was simply focused on the stretch of road right ahead of me.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe river underneath the next bridge a few minutes later looked just as menacing; still, I kept on going. All I was focused on now was that I was about 35-40 minutes away from home, and I wanted to make it there as quickly as possible. Turning around wasn't appealing, because it would take 3 times as long.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut it got scarier with every minute.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWater from the river was washing onto the highway where it had been many feet away just a few hours before.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThen I saw this:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-vW4Xtg4fwvw\/YahP7lqQ5AI\/AAAAAAAA4pc\/QwEk_2gLMecnGmGzd5mMENSyKseEMqizwCNcBGAsYHQ\/s1119\/Hwy%2B8%2Bflooding%2B%25282%2529.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"434\" data-original-width=\"1119\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-vW4Xtg4fwvw\/YahP7lqQ5AI\/AAAAAAAA4pc\/QwEk_2gLMecnGmGzd5mMENSyKseEMqizwCNcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Hwy%2B8%2Bflooding%2B%25282%2529.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI drove towards this huge, jagged piece of road missing, and I was beyond shocked. You know what I did? I still can't believe it. Instead of \u003Ci\u003Estopping and thinking\u003C\/i\u003E, which is what I should have done - I just kept on driving. I was in denial. I was thinking: \u003Ci\u003EThis isn't real. This can't be real. This isn't happening.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd I honestly believed that. I truly didn't think that I could actually fall through the road and be swept away.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EUntil approximately 7 minutes later, when I encountered this:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-XHJ7Quh-U_8\/YahRaLRSVNI\/AAAAAAAA4pk\/I08BA89NmZMzvv-q7eEoeXdAP3YrqaHGwCNcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Point%2Bof%2Bno%2Breturn.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"770\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-XHJ7Quh-U_8\/YahRaLRSVNI\/AAAAAAAA4pk\/I08BA89NmZMzvv-q7eEoeXdAP3YrqaHGwCNcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Point%2Bof%2Bno%2Breturn.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ENot only was my side of the road gone, the other side was littered with debris and the water was lapping all the way over it. Still, in my state of denial, I stopped, got out, and briefly pondered how hard it would be to move all the drift wood to the side and keep on going. I was still focused on the one goal to get home as quickly as possible, and home was on the other side of the flooded road.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ELuckily, there was a guy from the highway department on the other side (the truck you see in the picture), and he basically told me to turn around and get the hell out of there.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI obeyed. And oh my fucking god, how lucky I am that I did.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/globalnews.ca\/news\/8401069\/highway-8-residents-destruction\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EHighway 8 was destroyed\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;in 18 sections that day. I may have been one of the last people who drove on it.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EPeople have lost their land, their homes, or the access to their homes - probably for years.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe highway will be closed for years.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ENobody knows yet what's going to happen, because we are still in the thick of it. As I am writing this we are still in the midst of a flood warning. Another atmospheric river is about to hit, and may impact our area. Many residents of Merritt have not been allowed to return yet, 16 days after the evacuation.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe hospital was closed for 2 weeks and opened just 3 days ago for a few hours every day, for emergencies only.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo many people have lost so much. My heart keeps breaking for them. But how many times can it break? There isn't an infinite amount available. At some point, it will have broken for the last time. And it needs time to heal in between - time we haven't had yet.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMy world, as an x-ray technologist and as a person, hasn't felt safe since June 30 of this year.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI lost a hospital, my preferred route to work, and my sense of safety.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnything could happen at anytime.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWith the ongoing Covid-pandemic and everything else happening, will I ever feel safe again?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOnly time will tell.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/3593362171430076516\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/12\/the-joys-and-woes-of-being-rural-x-ray.html#comment-form","title":"4 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3593362171430076516"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3593362171430076516"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/12\/the-joys-and-woes-of-being-rural-x-ray.html","title":"The joys and woes of being a rural x-ray technologist"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-J7Nd6WPwWz4\/YaggxvFLn-I\/AAAAAAAA4ns\/eKKmQWuquHoWUlVpmarlhwGb9ebxqtMpgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Sunrise%2Bon%2B97c.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"4"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-7797028392475668002"},"published":{"$t":"2021-11-16T20:45:00.007-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-11-19T17:46:54.739-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"catastrophe"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"hospital diaries"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"travel"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"That time the road disappeared"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-eO9FowjqT6k\/YZMbUyvhGDI\/AAAAAAAA4lY\/LT87i7zEv3Yn6rvBarclfvE2Nq6440SJACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1471\/Hwy%2B8%2Bflooding.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"626\" data-original-width=\"1471\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-eO9FowjqT6k\/YZMbUyvhGDI\/AAAAAAAA4lY\/LT87i7zEv3Yn6rvBarclfvE2Nq6440SJACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Hwy%2B8%2Bflooding.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI drive carefully on the deserted road, my windshield wipers working furiously, barely keeping up. I haven't seen rain that fierce since I moved away from the wet coast 5 years ago, and I didn't miss it. Yet here we are, and it's terrifying. I keep an eye on the raging river on my right side, shocked by how much it has swelled in just a few hours.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EEarlier that day I was driving along the other way, and while the river was high (\u003Ci\u003Eway\u003C\/i\u003E higher than it should be, or ever has been this time of year), I still wasn't worried.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut now I am. There's water lapping onto the road, which, btw, is a \u003Ci\u003Ehighway\u003C\/i\u003E. I know it's not a highway in the conventional sense, meaning it's only one lane each way, and so windy that reasonable drivers (like me) rarely go faster than 60 km\/h. But still, it's classified as a highway.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd right now, there's fucking water lapping onto it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp; \u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"362\" src=\"https:\/\/player.vimeo.com\/video\/646713043?h=1957ef68f6\" title=\"vimeo-player\" width=\"640\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI keep going, because we humans seem to be programmed that way. Even though everything I'm seeing \u003Ci\u003Escreams\u003C\/i\u003E at me to turn away right now, I don't. Some inane optimist (or a part that wants to kill itself?) gently jostles me along. Honestly, I have lost control at this point. I just go along for the ride, curious to see what happens next.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhat happens next is so terrifying that my brain can't compute. Before I know what's going on, I've passed by it, and only after do I start shaking.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou wanna know what I just did?\u003Cbr \/\u003EI DROVE OVER A ROAD WHERE HALF OF IT HAS BROKEN AWAY.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThat top picture? That's what I just drove over. The rail is gone, half the road is gone, and the other half has a GIANT CRACK IN IT.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd you know what I do? I put my car in park, get out and TAKE FUCKING PICTURES.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHonestly, I'm appalled at myself. I have enough sense (=fear) to not get very close to the broken-off part of the road, because it does freak me out big time.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut I snap a few quick pics, and then I get back into my car and drive on, trying to ignore the now deafeningly-loud voice inside my head screaming at me that I HAVE TO TURN BACK, because I know that there are worse parts ahead of me.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWell. I don't listen to the voice (I'm in complete denial now), but then I encounter this:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-XGHI1hMJRMw\/YZR6a_XwIwI\/AAAAAAAA4l0\/Ww-OprqrtFY5kPdIiDpdg0dJEWhYiMKyACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Point%2Bof%2Bno%2Breturn.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"770\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-XGHI1hMJRMw\/YZR6a_XwIwI\/AAAAAAAA4l0\/Ww-OprqrtFY5kPdIiDpdg0dJEWhYiMKyACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Point%2Bof%2Bno%2Breturn.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHalf the road is completely flooded, the other half is covered in drift wood. You know what my first thought is upon encountering this?\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"Maybe I can just move the debris to the side and drive through..?\"\u003Cbr \/\u003EFortunately, that truck on the other side belongs to a highway employee, and he tells me in no uncertain terms to TURN THE HELL BACK WHILE I CAN.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI listen to him. And on the way back, I'm starting to really freak out about having to cross the half-ripped off part of the road again. Even though it's been barely 15 minutes since I nonchalantly drove over it like no big deal, now I have vivid images of tumbling down into the raging waters, never to surface again. So I do what I always do when I freak out: I call Rich.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"I have to drive back over the broken-off bit, and I'm scared!!\" I wail, with no need to elaborate because I've kept him up-to-date on my progress so thoroughly that my phone is down to 24% battery, something that usually never happens to me.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"Can you stay with me until I'm past it?\" I beg, and he agrees.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"It's coming up!\" I yell.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"Nope, not yet, sorry,\" a moment later.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"I'll stay with you the entire time,\" he promises calmly.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EA minute later, I really do see the ominous crack in the road ahead of me. Did it get bigger? I think it did.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-w5DEtQAiJUo\/YZR-Y4aBsQI\/AAAAAAAA4l8\/BLrJMtMlH1wrbPN7_XFF6AtLsxj9DQWhwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1119\/Hwy%2B8%2Bflooding%2B%25282%2529.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"434\" data-original-width=\"1119\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-w5DEtQAiJUo\/YZR-Y4aBsQI\/AAAAAAAA4l8\/BLrJMtMlH1wrbPN7_XFF6AtLsxj9DQWhwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Hwy%2B8%2Bflooding%2B%25282%2529.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt certainly seems about 100 times scarier than it did just a little while ago.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI take a deep breath, and then squeeze my car as close to the rock face as I can. My passenger side mirror is scraping the side of the wall, which tells me this is as far as I can go to the side.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe only way I have left now is straight through.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"I'm going across it now!\" I yell at Rich, and then, with both hands gripping the steering wheel in a death grip, I drive across.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"Aaaaaahhhhhhh!!\" I scream, and then it's over.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI made it. I'm across it, and with tears streaming down my face, I drive on, shaking violently.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"Are you past the dangerous bit?\" Rich yells, and I nod numbly, before realizing that he can't see me.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"Yes, I am. I'm safe,\" I say.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThen I remember that I have to cross two more small bridges and one big one before I'm on \"our\" side, and nothing feels safe now. \"Can you stay on the phone until I've crossed the bridges?\" I ask him, and he does.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI make it home.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut I was right to be scared.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHere is the highway (or lack thereof) two days later:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-4T_Wc2XnQwQ\/YZhS-_9W_XI\/AAAAAAAA4m8\/z6AxwjPG294BUtpfchGX8GvmaEQ-ZieMACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Screenshot_20211119-091222_Facebook.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"554\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-4T_Wc2XnQwQ\/YZhS-_9W_XI\/AAAAAAAA4m8\/z6AxwjPG294BUtpfchGX8GvmaEQ-ZieMACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Screenshot_20211119-091222_Facebook.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-w8tTkN_5RPE\/YZW2YD8DtYI\/AAAAAAAA4mw\/oAWMP_oNzO0goZPaeYyrQtsSh1y_Cc2DACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1200\/Hwy%2B8%2Bwash-out.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"800\" data-original-width=\"1200\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-w8tTkN_5RPE\/YZW2YD8DtYI\/AAAAAAAA4mw\/oAWMP_oNzO0goZPaeYyrQtsSh1y_Cc2DACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Hwy%2B8%2Bwash-out.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-CSs0z5GJVkQ\/YZW2els9k_I\/AAAAAAAA4m0\/B-JBlUTu3C8mDkJbIpIZNndrpPa7PAxPACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1280\/Hwy%2B8%2Bon%2BNov%2B17.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"720\" data-original-width=\"1280\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-CSs0z5GJVkQ\/YZW2els9k_I\/AAAAAAAA4m0\/B-JBlUTu3C8mDkJbIpIZNndrpPa7PAxPACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Hwy%2B8%2Bon%2BNov%2B17.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EImages\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.ashcroftcachecreekjournal.com\/news\/sections-of-highway-8-completely-washed-away-by-nicola-river\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Esource\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EA lot of bridges got damaged on that terrible November 15:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-wLusTCCDRYI\/YZSC71FJ5kI\/AAAAAAAA4mE\/nd-5AauHCKgacvvkwMFVRXxjpumyrehCgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Sunshine%2Bvalley%2Bbridge.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"720\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-wLusTCCDRYI\/YZSC71FJ5kI\/AAAAAAAA4mE\/nd-5AauHCKgacvvkwMFVRXxjpumyrehCgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Sunshine%2Bvalley%2Bbridge.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003EI cross that bridge several times a week on my dog walks.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-fSYx_CpSs6I\/YZSFQVK2lNI\/AAAAAAAA4mM\/BmILOZ3OUeQz1URdkIndxr2rTx3FSINFwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Petit%2BCreek%2Bbridge.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1536\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-fSYx_CpSs6I\/YZSFQVK2lNI\/AAAAAAAA4mM\/BmILOZ3OUeQz1URdkIndxr2rTx3FSINFwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Petit%2BCreek%2Bbridge.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003EMy friend's grandma lives on the other side of this bridge. They have no way out right now.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-SD7cuIyeuoc\/YZSFmEfSocI\/AAAAAAAA4mU\/njZsnWoHAuoOCxUwma5r7VZlEmeiGZ8SQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s640\/Merritt%2Bbridge.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"442\" data-original-width=\"640\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-SD7cuIyeuoc\/YZSFmEfSocI\/AAAAAAAA4mU\/njZsnWoHAuoOCxUwma5r7VZlEmeiGZ8SQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Merritt%2Bbridge.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003EOne of the bridges in Merritt. None of them are deemed safe right now.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-3H7tx43MJnU\/YZSGUHgBWvI\/AAAAAAAA4mc\/gECCLp2ST90bae1qPuSn8wTJNNp2BCWsgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Coquihalla%2BHwy%2Bnorth%2Bof%2BHope.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"641\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-3H7tx43MJnU\/YZSGUHgBWvI\/AAAAAAAA4mc\/gECCLp2ST90bae1qPuSn8wTJNNp2BCWsgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Coquihalla%2BHwy%2Bnorth%2Bof%2BHope.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003EWe have driven this highway hundreds of times over the last 20 years. Now it may be down for months.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-sSNCpJL-GEU\/YZSGmmhV2EI\/AAAAAAAA4mk\/MVb_Uah8T7gHizYC2hbOzIoUxnYhMIYrwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1443\/Hwy%2B1%2Bnear%2BLytton%2Bat%2BTank%2BHill.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1443\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-sSNCpJL-GEU\/YZSGmmhV2EI\/AAAAAAAA4mk\/MVb_Uah8T7gHizYC2hbOzIoUxnYhMIYrwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Hwy%2B1%2Bnear%2BLytton%2Bat%2BTank%2BHill.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003EFraser Canyon. We've driven that one dozens of times as well, never imaging that it could be swept away one day.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI made it home safe. Our family is safe.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003EBut so many others aren't. It was a game of chance, with some of us getting lucky, others getting unlucky.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's so insane, unfair, chaotic, unbelievable.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe are still reeling from the flood, and Merritt is unrecognizable. It's evacuated, flooded, water unusable, sewage not working since being flooded early on Nov 15, hospital shut down.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe are in suspense right now, not knowing what's gonna happen next.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm lucky to be above the flood, and probably lucky to be alive.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/7797028392475668002\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/11\/that-time-road-almost-disappeared.html#comment-form","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/7797028392475668002"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/7797028392475668002"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/11\/that-time-road-almost-disappeared.html","title":"That time the road disappeared"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-eO9FowjqT6k\/YZMbUyvhGDI\/AAAAAAAA4lY\/LT87i7zEv3Yn6rvBarclfvE2Nq6440SJACLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Hwy%2B8%2Bflooding.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-8547339515047708705"},"published":{"$t":"2021-11-11T09:14:00.004-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-11-11T09:20:06.622-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"depression"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"mental health"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Sitting with pain"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Hbj4gU6q7kA\/YY0_ezCPTpI\/AAAAAAAA4ks\/WEiLtXxKt_Iz08XvFFq3VBGCme7NRk3oQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Mia.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Hbj4gU6q7kA\/YY0_ezCPTpI\/AAAAAAAA4ks\/WEiLtXxKt_Iz08XvFFq3VBGCme7NRk3oQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Mia.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ETwo days ago I had a major mental breakdown. I had therapy in the morning, and I almost cancelled, because life is really good right now and I am so happy and content, it seemed unnecessary. But I didn't cancel, and halfway through something came up.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"I don't really trust women,\" I mentioned, almost as an aside. \"I want to, but I don't. I only let them in to a point; there's a protective barrier around my heart, and almost no-one is inside the inner circle.\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI had never consciously thought about it, let alone voice it; that's the thing about therapy. Once you start digging, you never know what you'll find.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EFor the rest of the day I couldn't stop thinking about my inner circle. Who's really in it? I half-jokingly told Rich: \"It's just you and the dogs; nobody else made it.\" And that struck me as so utterly sad, I broke down.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-rEP3Z3GubGw\/YY1CXFfA1nI\/AAAAAAAA4k0\/VPWkYd383_Y1stL0eeaM2vXZXQ-4CcgZwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2015\/Bad%2Bmental%2Bhealth%2Bday.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"2015\" data-original-width=\"1511\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-rEP3Z3GubGw\/YY1CXFfA1nI\/AAAAAAAA4k0\/VPWkYd383_Y1stL0eeaM2vXZXQ-4CcgZwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Bad%2Bmental%2Bhealth%2Bday.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI know where my deep distrust towards women stems from. It's a wound from childhood, inflicted by the person who was supposed to love me unconditionally, but didn't. The reason why it comes up now, so many years after the fact, is because I never dealt with it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd even more importantly: I never learnt to sit with pain as it's happening.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ENone of us is. We are told to \"move on\", \"focus on the positive\", \"don't dwell on the bad stuff\", to \"shake it off and be happy\". It's a basic human instinct to move away from pain, because being in pain sucks.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut here's the thing: if we avoid it now, it will come back later to haunt us. You cannot escape pain indefinitely. No matter how far you travel, how many miles or years you put in between your pain and yourself, it will find you.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMine found me two days ago, decades after the fact, in the midst of an exceedingly happy and fulfilling phase of my life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm afraid to trust women, because I've been deeply hurt.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm afraid to make a mistake, because I learnt that when I do, love will be withheld from me.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI was told over and over that I wasn't a good person; that I was a disappointment; that I should be better.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt hurt to badly, I did everything I could to make the pain stop. I told them what they wanted to hear and hid or lied about the stuff I knew they wouldn't like.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI became a people pleaser. I avoided most confrontations by agreeing just to get along.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI moved to the other side of the world.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe don't talk about anything deep or personal.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThey don't know me; I let them see only a tiny part of myself.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-TZGJUGguCLk\/YY1GtNoac2I\/AAAAAAAA4k8\/E3ZEVu0jTDEnWb1qP5_EL8kfvcpG1Zb6gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Ashcroft%2Btrails.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-TZGJUGguCLk\/YY1GtNoac2I\/AAAAAAAA4k8\/E3ZEVu0jTDEnWb1qP5_EL8kfvcpG1Zb6gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Ashcroft%2Btrails.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI got myself a good man, a pack of dogs, and a life far removed from my old one, and I thought I'd outrun my demons.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut they found me. And I have to sit with the pain now, once and for all, and work through it. That's the only way how I can heal; the only way how I can learn to trust women again.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBecause while I thought I got away unscathed, I found out to my dismay that I didn't. There's a hole in my life where true, deep friendship could be. I have friends; but they're all outside my protective barrier. I \u003Ci\u003Ecould\u003C\/i\u003E carry on the way I have for 25 years, keep everybody at a distance, keep myself safe.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut that's no way to live. You can only love fully when you trust fully, and I don't want to miss out on that.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI share a great love with my husband, who taught me all about loving with a wide-open heart. Our relationship means everything to me.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-HZb3o4hVONg\/YY1JiuOoNWI\/AAAAAAAA4lE\/Q_A_E6W2gbcuWbEmRTQGQxfqFUL0oAUrwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Mo-couple.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-HZb3o4hVONg\/YY1JiuOoNWI\/AAAAAAAA4lE\/Q_A_E6W2gbcuWbEmRTQGQxfqFUL0oAUrwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Mo-couple.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI barely dare to imagine that I could have even more love - that I could trust women as much as I trust him?\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI want to experience that. I want more people in my inner circle.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo here I am, sitting in my pain.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI described it to Rich like this: \"It feels like a layer of skin got scraped off and I'm on open wound. Everything hurts.\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI had to hide from the world yesterday to protect my open wound. I was a limp puddle of a human, with zero energy. I could barely move; all I did was rest and watch TV.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThis morning feels better. A thin protective layer has formed over the raw flesh, I have more energy, and the first tendrils of the sweetest of all emotions has started sprouting: hope.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI choose to believe that the old wounds that have opened up can and \u003Ci\u003Ewill\u003C\/i\u003E heal.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI choose to open myself up to hope, possibility - and love.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd I love this thought:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-c3gJhWYip48\/YY1OA44W9zI\/AAAAAAAA4lM\/G38yC7IxpjA0uUe-QBf2fjG_m7AIQcw7QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1060\/248379094_1563428827327181_5793794146844876799_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1060\" data-original-width=\"1060\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-c3gJhWYip48\/YY1OA44W9zI\/AAAAAAAA4lM\/G38yC7IxpjA0uUe-QBf2fjG_m7AIQcw7QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/248379094_1563428827327181_5793794146844876799_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/CVfWiVyMypz\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003Esource\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESee you on the other side!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/8547339515047708705\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/11\/sitting-with-pain.html#comment-form","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/8547339515047708705"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/8547339515047708705"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/11\/sitting-with-pain.html","title":"Sitting with pain"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Hbj4gU6q7kA\/YY0_ezCPTpI\/AAAAAAAA4ks\/WEiLtXxKt_Iz08XvFFq3VBGCme7NRk3oQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Mia.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-1418277922746239837"},"published":{"$t":"2021-10-24T17:24:00.005-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-10-24T17:47:33.169-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"beauty"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life lessons"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"mental health"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"wild and free"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Breaking out of the boxes I put myself in"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-33F7y4liEAc\/YXXegFJWZOI\/AAAAAAAA4i0\/sDjStLEKwXwJqV0WS-JjCKA744zCn5YgQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1920\/Casually%2Bleaning%2Bagaint%2Btree%2BHalloween.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1318\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-33F7y4liEAc\/YXXegFJWZOI\/AAAAAAAA4i0\/sDjStLEKwXwJqV0WS-JjCKA744zCn5YgQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Casually%2Bleaning%2Bagaint%2Btree%2BHalloween.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ELast week I bought myself an anti-aging eye cream. It promises 5-in-1 actions against the dreaded aging process: it supposedly\u0026nbsp;combats dark circles, crow's feet, bags, puffiness, and crepey lids (which I first read as \u003Ci\u003Ecreepy\u003C\/i\u003E lids, and was quite intrigued by: you never know what the diet- and beauty-industry comes up with next, and I thought they had moved on to creepy lids. Not yet, but it's only a matter of time).\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EDo I believe that the cream will magically \"turn back the clock\" and make me look like I'm 31 again?\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003ENo. That's why I parted ways with pretty much everything beauty-related a few years ago, determined to learn to love myself the way I am.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EAnd it worked. I am more comfortable in my wrinkled, aging skin now than I was in my dewy 20s and early 30s. But I also did something that I wasn't aware of until quite recently: I put myself in a box.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EI started putting eye cream around my eyes in my teens. I have a broad face; Rich always says that I look oriental with my round face and slightly slanted eyes. Wherever I get it from, what it does is that I've had laugh lines for as long\u0026nbsp;as I can remember. When I smile, my eyes crinkle, which means the skin around my eyes crinkles.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-0CINNO1U-Ow\/YXXmRMMxj8I\/AAAAAAAA4i8\/pfqBL6mxr_4ktMxdAmMGZum5M44EF_9NQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s720\/Bathing%2Bbeauties.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"570\" data-original-width=\"720\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-0CINNO1U-Ow\/YXXmRMMxj8I\/AAAAAAAA4i8\/pfqBL6mxr_4ktMxdAmMGZum5M44EF_9NQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Bathing%2Bbeauties.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003EYou can't see it, but trust me: my eyes are crinkling (I'm on the left; my little sister is on the right).\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-PNkQ123gdWk\/YXXnSmhSBPI\/AAAAAAAA4jE\/Z7MfYr1_IyU9LsJaubeOpsNzaIxBwDVHQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s607\/Little%2Bgirl.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"523\" data-original-width=\"607\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-PNkQ123gdWk\/YXXnSmhSBPI\/AAAAAAAA4jE\/Z7MfYr1_IyU9LsJaubeOpsNzaIxBwDVHQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Little%2Bgirl.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003ENo smile=no crinkle\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-gWusPr92gE4\/YXXnosxZ6zI\/AAAAAAAA4jM\/2hNaqVM1XQQ7OfS9HqjXG7sJ4Q5eWOhGgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s688\/First%2Bday%2Bof%2Bschool.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"688\" data-original-width=\"516\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-gWusPr92gE4\/YXXnosxZ6zI\/AAAAAAAA4jM\/2hNaqVM1XQQ7OfS9HqjXG7sJ4Q5eWOhGgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/First%2Bday%2Bof%2Bschool.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003EWiiiide face. Me at 6, on my first day of school.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI became aware of that fact when I was 14 or 15, and I proceeded to gently pat eye cream into my so-called \"problem areas\" for the next 20 years.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EA few years ago I stopped, having learnt that I didn't need to buy into the lie that only smooth, unlined skin is beautiful.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt was immensely liberating and gratifying. For several years I used nothing but a moisturizer with PDF 30, and I was happy as a clam.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut slowly, without me noticing, not using beauty products became more than a choice; it turned into a cage. I subconsciously started to believe that I could never use any of that stuff again or I would \"betray my beliefs\". Did anybody tell me that? Of course not. Nobody cares.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's something I put on myself all by myself, without any outside input. It's utterly ridiculous - but here we are.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EExcept, we are not here anymore. Did you know? It's perfectly okay to change your mind - I checked. 😉\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou \u003Ci\u003Ecan\u003C\/i\u003E believe in something and still do stuff that, for others, may look like you're contradicting yourself.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ECase in point: my over-priced eye cream.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EFirst off: \u003Cb\u003EI don't owe anyone an explanation.\u003C\/b\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003Cb\u003ENeither do you.\u003C\/b\u003E None of us does. If I feel the sudden urge to rub some cream into my skin that I know, deep down, won't deliver any of its promises, then it's my business.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe reason why I bought it is two-fold: the area around my eyes has felt drier than usual lately, and the cream is helping a lot. The other reason is that it makes me feel like a movie star from the 50s when I open that little jar with its golden lid, delicately scoop a tiny bit onto the tip of my little finger, and gently pat it in.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-vo4YyFv4s18\/YXXx0ErbxVI\/AAAAAAAA4jU\/dJ24-Fy5vMsvDYm9BtPgzfoS6HDdUGMOgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Fall%2Bwalks%2Bin%2BNarnia.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"720\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-vo4YyFv4s18\/YXXx0ErbxVI\/AAAAAAAA4jU\/dJ24-Fy5vMsvDYm9BtPgzfoS6HDdUGMOgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Fall%2Bwalks%2Bin%2BNarnia.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003EIn a life where I wear farm clothes or scrubs most of the time, feeling like a film star for a few moments twice a day is amazing! No regrets.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe other box I put myself in (for safekeeping) was the one of being an introvert. I didn't clue in that\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2014\/07\/do-you-feel-alone-you-are-actually-part.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EI am an introvert\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;until I was 34, and it was an immensely satisfying discovery. It explained all the things I had fought against so hard for so long: my need for alone-time to recharge; my secret impatience with a lot of people who were perfectly fine, but annoyed me in a way where I preferred my own company to theirs; my lack of need for a \"best friend\" whom I would have to check in with daily. No thank you, that's way too stressful.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut then again, I've used my introvert-box as an excuse and a shield a few too many times. Like many introverts, I'm actually quite outgoing when it comes to hanging out with my friends. But since I also have anxiety (which I didn't know until last year), I've used my introvert box to hide in when my anxiety was too strong to get out of the house.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-XfGjg0vGGvM\/YXX1MXkLOhI\/AAAAAAAA4jc\/TKMXH0WlVaoAfAusFLAFjrwiddyhT_30wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s780\/Yoga%2Bwith%2Bmy%2Bloves%2B780.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"780\" data-original-width=\"780\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-XfGjg0vGGvM\/YXX1MXkLOhI\/AAAAAAAA4jc\/TKMXH0WlVaoAfAusFLAFjrwiddyhT_30wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Yoga%2Bwith%2Bmy%2Bloves%2B780.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003EThere's nothing wrong with honouring your feelings. With or without a mental illness, it's absolutely essential to listen to your needs.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut I've been dealing with my demons for so many years now that I can tell the difference between a true anxiety\/depression-attack as opposed to hiding behind that shield because I'm simply afraid.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThere's a difference. If I'm full of energy, bouncing off the walls, playing a hundred different scenarios in my head of how it may go, and mentally going through every item of clothing in my closet, even though I keep telling myself I don't want to go, then I'm just scared. Which is totally normal and happens to \u003Ci\u003Eeveryone\u003C\/i\u003E, even extroverts. But every single time so far, \u003Cb\u003Ewithout exception\u003C\/b\u003E, the event turned out to be fun, and I was SO happy that I went. That's why I push myself on those occasions.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI know it's my anxiety and\/or empty introvert batteries telling me not to go when I'm catatonic, buried under the covers in my bed, with barely enough energy to text to tell them I'm not coming. That's a completely different scenario, and one where I stopped feeling guilty for bailing. It's like getting suddenly sick; I simply can't make my body move.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EStill, I am more aware now to distinguish between a true \"I need Me-time\" moment as opposed to \"I feel shy\/nervous\" one. Huge difference.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-HsaSeqOqmnQ\/YXX4u4nKbkI\/AAAAAAAA4jk\/PST0Q07jIYId37wvh_NlMW9TxqWpf_QTACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Spooky%2Bsweater%2Bselfie.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"960\" data-original-width=\"790\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-HsaSeqOqmnQ\/YXX4u4nKbkI\/AAAAAAAA4jk\/PST0Q07jIYId37wvh_NlMW9TxqWpf_QTACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Spooky%2Bsweater%2Bselfie.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe reason why I fight so hard against it is that I am determined to live my best life, despite my anxiety and depression. I have them; they don't have me.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAs long as I'm alive, I will fight against them, because there is a \u003Ci\u003Elot\u003C\/i\u003E of life I still want to live.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd it's way easier to experience it outside any boxes!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/1418277922746239837\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/10\/breaking-out-of-boxes-i-put-myself-in.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/1418277922746239837"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/1418277922746239837"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/10\/breaking-out-of-boxes-i-put-myself-in.html","title":"Breaking out of the boxes I put myself in"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-33F7y4liEAc\/YXXegFJWZOI\/AAAAAAAA4i0\/sDjStLEKwXwJqV0WS-JjCKA744zCn5YgQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Casually%2Bleaning%2Bagaint%2Btree%2BHalloween.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-8311059667520427884"},"published":{"$t":"2021-10-11T11:13:00.002-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-10-11T11:13:16.140-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"thankful"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Giving thanks"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-wBtNmOcTI50\/YWRycFvli5I\/AAAAAAAA4g0\/6NsKGwWryHE1kuDSt5888uxIcgitnG8HACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Opa%2527s%2Bbest%2Bhelper.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-wBtNmOcTI50\/YWRycFvli5I\/AAAAAAAA4g0\/6NsKGwWryHE1kuDSt5888uxIcgitnG8HACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Opa%2527s%2Bbest%2Bhelper.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's Thanksgiving in Canada today, and as I'm sitting here on my desk, I see fresh snow on the top of the surrounding mountains, and foggy, wet fall magic everywhere.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Jlw38jfhPec\/YWRs-6lpG0I\/AAAAAAAA4gc\/r2uqgxhU2CwQ-pJ1vvvooYksKEGNrYV1QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Low%2Bclouds.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Jlw38jfhPec\/YWRs-6lpG0I\/AAAAAAAA4gc\/r2uqgxhU2CwQ-pJ1vvvooYksKEGNrYV1QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Low%2Bclouds.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-r8g9ABlHJwc\/YWRtEA8siUI\/AAAAAAAA4gg\/fjwRUMhAY0kQFfTz9RipDy5XHgXPSWe-QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Thanksgiving%2Bmorning.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-r8g9ABlHJwc\/YWRtEA8siUI\/AAAAAAAA4gg\/fjwRUMhAY0kQFfTz9RipDy5XHgXPSWe-QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Thanksgiving%2Bmorning.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's a good day to say thanks. After the traumatic summer with the constant danger of the wildfires that kept coming closer, it's wonderful to see the first snow and low-hanging clouds, feel the moisture in the air, and to be greeted by the nip of frost.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm grateful for the puppy draping herself all over me like I'm one of her brothers or sisters.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-R8-4gU6lPBI\/YWRxmzLNaPI\/AAAAAAAA4gs\/VcwWh05-7tI2pHH_Q6wyF0RAcHOY-LNEACLcBGAsYHQ\/s2015\/Mama%2Band%2BMia.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"2015\" data-original-width=\"1659\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-R8-4gU6lPBI\/YWRxmzLNaPI\/AAAAAAAA4gs\/VcwWh05-7tI2pHH_Q6wyF0RAcHOY-LNEACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Mama%2Band%2BMia.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm grateful for wriggling corgi bums.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https:\/\/www.blogger.com\/video.g?token=AD6v5dzb9eeXGjT3RtGZ71unZl2uamkYbWb9YC0FsQOzItwNP4Ug5i_kjWL2-2Bx6y-9i_lAXuO9zgoK8smA0W4GyQ' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm beyond grateful that our home is still standing and that the danger has passed. Rich and I tell each other several times a week how lucky we are to have found this beautiful place of the world, and after it being endangered this summer, we appreciate it more than ever.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThank you to everyone who fought the fires! We love you!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-YxMX1YOj5fQ\/YWR5DXqQUDI\/AAAAAAAA4hM\/zMsY9IFoUq0wEA6HiqEIyEGkKIshR-cWQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Golden%2Bhour%2Bcabin.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"607\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-YxMX1YOj5fQ\/YWR5DXqQUDI\/AAAAAAAA4hM\/zMsY9IFoUq0wEA6HiqEIyEGkKIshR-cWQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Golden%2Bhour%2Bcabin.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm grateful for so many people in my life: my husband, daughters, grandson, sister, nieces, parents, old and new friends, co-workers, that lady who went out of her way trying to contact me about my cancelled lab appointment (3 phone messages and one email - Dorian, you went above and beyond, thank you!), every patient who has expressed their appreciation to us, and the disbelieving face of the ER doc when he heard that I have a grandson. Made my day, doc.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-sewlDXscP2A\/YWR43P4ADtI\/AAAAAAAA4hE\/sr9BgpITTa0lKBu39i0gjm3o_bumH0j2wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Halloween%2Bportrait.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-sewlDXscP2A\/YWR43P4ADtI\/AAAAAAAA4hE\/sr9BgpITTa0lKBu39i0gjm3o_bumH0j2wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Halloween%2Bportrait.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Sa_cRHSigQw\/YWR6xn_Qe5I\/AAAAAAAA4hg\/5H6sppLInZk7oSvonHUTMqqsrBIjpi99gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1564\/Family%2Bride.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"879\" data-original-width=\"1564\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Sa_cRHSigQw\/YWR6xn_Qe5I\/AAAAAAAA4hg\/5H6sppLInZk7oSvonHUTMqqsrBIjpi99gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Family%2Bride.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Bg-N8I2SCbo\/YWR7NsNX1oI\/AAAAAAAA4ho\/X7gO5JPhOYIO4WfwbV0XGCpGEF0CvlkJwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1564\/Nise%252C%2BAxel%2Band%2BTeddy.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"879\" data-original-width=\"1564\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Bg-N8I2SCbo\/YWR7NsNX1oI\/AAAAAAAA4ho\/X7gO5JPhOYIO4WfwbV0XGCpGEF0CvlkJwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Nise%252C%2BAxel%2Band%2BTeddy.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-B9TR-nZmbYs\/YWR5iUrOEqI\/AAAAAAAA4hY\/h3UgjPp27jgGeuz_OxoyuMQXq8R3YzMsACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Quading%2Bwith%2BOmi.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"960\" data-original-width=\"720\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-B9TR-nZmbYs\/YWR5iUrOEqI\/AAAAAAAA4hY\/h3UgjPp27jgGeuz_OxoyuMQXq8R3YzMsACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Quading%2Bwith%2BOmi.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-2AqljIdx8zA\/YWR8DtAXyLI\/AAAAAAAA4hw\/JWozq3HlEIE68voM2HXXfFwJIL-vp2voACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Eyes%2Bclosed%2Bselfie.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"960\" data-original-width=\"720\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-2AqljIdx8zA\/YWR8DtAXyLI\/AAAAAAAA4hw\/JWozq3HlEIE68voM2HXXfFwJIL-vp2voACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Eyes%2Bclosed%2Bselfie.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-QgqrdvTTW3E\/YWR8QbxLP1I\/AAAAAAAA4h0\/JWnNkrRSwiUUwb1HM4aHRKGEDOP3jmPtgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Clearly%2Brelated.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"869\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-QgqrdvTTW3E\/YWR8QbxLP1I\/AAAAAAAA4h0\/JWnNkrRSwiUUwb1HM4aHRKGEDOP3jmPtgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Clearly%2Brelated.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm forever grateful for my pack of dogs, who make me happy every single day. Plus the three (!!) litters of puppies we raised this year, 21 pups in total! Such a wild ride.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-RYdneiJww1s\/YWR-c5VdIeI\/AAAAAAAA4iA\/djbtlTszODgCuJ3WB5gI3q-vT7kliUcegCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Puppies.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"883\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-RYdneiJww1s\/YWR-c5VdIeI\/AAAAAAAA4iA\/djbtlTszODgCuJ3WB5gI3q-vT7kliUcegCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Puppies.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm humbled (and ANNOYED) by my husband's 12-year old flip phone, where you still have to press the number keys several times to get to the letter you need when you want to send a text, which takes a felt 100 hours each time. So grateful that technology moved on from that. Giving up hope that Rich ever will - he's unnaturally attached to his \"Scotty, beam me up!\"-phone.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm grateful for my job and the people I work with. (Well, most of them.) I'm proud of our profession and everyone in healthcare, especially now.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd I'm so grateful to live in Canada. I love my adopted country with all my heart.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EHappy Thanksgiving, Canada!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/8311059667520427884\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/10\/giving-thanks.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/8311059667520427884"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/8311059667520427884"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/10\/giving-thanks.html","title":"Giving thanks"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-wBtNmOcTI50\/YWRycFvli5I\/AAAAAAAA4g0\/6NsKGwWryHE1kuDSt5888uxIcgitnG8HACLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Opa%2527s%2Bbest%2Bhelper.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-2784945964342787433"},"published":{"$t":"2021-10-04T19:27:00.004-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-10-04T19:27:35.096-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life lessons"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"wildfire"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Rebirth"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-450CiCHuvBw\/YVujIDSFCdI\/AAAAAAAA4e4\/jAZ_fadaktYwiASvpxZ1yYGVbztEBQ_dgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Freedom%2Bgrass.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-450CiCHuvBw\/YVujIDSFCdI\/AAAAAAAA4e4\/jAZ_fadaktYwiASvpxZ1yYGVbztEBQ_dgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Freedom%2Bgrass.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe first time I saw the devastation the Lytton Creek fire had wreaked along my route to work, I cried. Large patches of the formerly beautiful forest stretching along the road had burnt down, leaving dark, skinny sticks behind. The ground was scorched, blackened and bare. I saw burnt-out shells of cars, piles of ashes in place of the buildings that used to be there, and hills that looked like they had put on their widow's weeds, black replacing the green.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThat was right after the highway had reopened, a few short weeks after the fire had blazed through. After the initial shock, I noticed a lot of other, much more uplifting things: the wild sheep were still all there.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe two or three separate groups of half-wild horses had banded together, grazing right next to the road every single day, 15+ horses strong.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EChipmunks were crossing the road right in front of my car as if on a Kamikaze mission, just as they do every fall. (They are way too fast to be caught by me and my grandma-like driving style.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAll the fruit stands along the way had survived.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-UpK4Cay1rx0\/YVuqknFSqgI\/AAAAAAAA4fY\/bAP0nDUngXszOPQZOkclB-1rcM412epVACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Spence%2527s%2BBridge%2BMarket%2Bstand.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-UpK4Cay1rx0\/YVuqknFSqgI\/AAAAAAAA4fY\/bAP0nDUngXszOPQZOkclB-1rcM412epVACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Spence%2527s%2BBridge%2BMarket%2Bstand.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003ESo had most houses, some of them feet away from the burnt-down earth.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd so had the bears:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lF9oqOBYqZ4\/YVureh-dRsI\/AAAAAAAA4fg\/7dQQZSLe3LEUkz5h_3OELIPs5GWKNtHfACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Baby%2Bbear.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"960\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lF9oqOBYqZ4\/YVureh-dRsI\/AAAAAAAA4fg\/7dQQZSLe3LEUkz5h_3OELIPs5GWKNtHfACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Baby%2Bbear.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-YOneFV4Uc6M\/YVurlnLAglI\/AAAAAAAA4fk\/UYwa9xslh-8qpVB5eFfDeBpitrbWMh8igCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Mama%2Bbear.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"960\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-YOneFV4Uc6M\/YVurlnLAglI\/AAAAAAAA4fk\/UYwa9xslh-8qpVB5eFfDeBpitrbWMh8igCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Mama%2Bbear.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003EBut the best part? The earth is coming back already. There is fresh, lusciously green grass sprouting at a time of year where usually nothing new grows. Our cowboy friend Bill calls it \"freedom grass\" - I call it hope. Witnessing the transformation from seemingly dead to new life in such a short time is like witnessing a miracle. The animals are still there, the plants are coming back, and everything seems possible. Seeing this rebirth is the most hopeful process I have ever had the privilege of observing.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-eNsyHLnJOzo\/YVunN0xTtaI\/AAAAAAAA4fI\/drhsS9EbDpYFHSQdpFOTpARWcsOddoh4gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/New%2Bgreen.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-eNsyHLnJOzo\/YVunN0xTtaI\/AAAAAAAA4fI\/drhsS9EbDpYFHSQdpFOTpARWcsOddoh4gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/New%2Bgreen.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Tq0M-FUiluU\/YVum5SlvowI\/AAAAAAAA4fA\/76cOK54rr-IADz5fcS1rhzzsoXPJKZlAACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/After%2Bthe%2Bfire.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Tq0M-FUiluU\/YVum5SlvowI\/AAAAAAAA4fA\/76cOK54rr-IADz5fcS1rhzzsoXPJKZlAACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/After%2Bthe%2Bfire.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EIf nature can survive a fire of that magnitude, what can \u003Ci\u003Ewe\u003C\/i\u003E survive? As always, nature shows us in her gentle yet powerful way how small our problems really are. In my 41 years I've gone through some tough stuff, but so far I'm just like the forest after a fire: I continue to grow, blossom and to be reborn, even if it isn't my season.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003ELike the half-wild horses, I'm finding new members to add to my tribe, and to hold on to my old ones.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003ELike the chipmunks, I keep running and outsmarting those who try to hurt me.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EMama Bear shows me that you can raise kids even in difficult times, and I'm applying this to raising my dogs and to being (hopefully) a good role model for my grandson.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe hills, who respectfully dressed in black after the fire, are now cheerfully back to their old, colourful selves. Amongst the almost lurid green of the new grass are the brilliant red and golden hues of the maples and Dogwoods.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-KMulLkrp23o\/YVu2alOiKcI\/AAAAAAAA4f0\/CnZPVlFpsVsQPBp66hUUEKKO6NYFXST9wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Stripey%2Bdress%2Bin%2BAshcroft%2Bclose-up.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-KMulLkrp23o\/YVu2alOiKcI\/AAAAAAAA4f0\/CnZPVlFpsVsQPBp66hUUEKKO6NYFXST9wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Stripey%2Bdress%2Bin%2BAshcroft%2Bclose-up.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI, too like to dress up in an especially colourful outfit after I've survived something bad. It's how we express our joy and gratitude!\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003ENothing is ever as bad as it seems at first.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003ENothing ever lasts as long as we fear it will.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003ENothing is hopeless.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe will rise out of the ashes, out of despair, out of whatever we perceive as rock-bottom.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EFreedom grass is about to grow out of the worst experiences of our life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/2784945964342787433\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/10\/rebirth.html#comment-form","title":"6 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/2784945964342787433"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/2784945964342787433"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/10\/rebirth.html","title":"Rebirth"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-450CiCHuvBw\/YVujIDSFCdI\/AAAAAAAA4e4\/jAZ_fadaktYwiASvpxZ1yYGVbztEBQ_dgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Freedom%2Bgrass.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"6"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-3475860864587251418"},"published":{"$t":"2021-09-21T20:31:00.000-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-09-21T20:31:36.819-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"healthcare"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"hospital diaries"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"mental health"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"my love"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"After the storm"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-qZPjKvAgjh8\/YUp40bv_XtI\/AAAAAAAA4do\/n1rsil7si-YJDhWm4Zkadq8CEsXRNapXwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Country%2Blife.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"608\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-qZPjKvAgjh8\/YUp40bv_XtI\/AAAAAAAA4do\/n1rsil7si-YJDhWm4Zkadq8CEsXRNapXwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Country%2Blife.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt will be three weeks tomorrow since I wrote\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/09\/thanks-for-spitting-in-our-face.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Emy last post\u003C\/a\u003E, and much has changed since then. August was a horrible month for me, the worst one in my memory, and I've needed those last few weeks to recover. Good news first: I have! I've been feeling more at peace, rested and re-charged than I did all summer. Breaks \u003Cb\u003Ework\u003C\/b\u003E! \u003Ci\u003EWho knew.\u003C\/i\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIn case you have no idea what I'm talking about, here's a quick summary: we had to deal with the worst wildfires in living history, which meant terrible air quality, frequently closed roads that made it very difficult or impossible to get to work, topped with constant worries about our home being next in line to get burnt to the ground, combined with evacuation alerts and\/or orders. We were on order for 5 days in mid-August, but fortunately we were one of the lucky ones: our home wasn't touched by the fires at all.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe're into the 19th month of the pandemic, and as a healthcare worker, we have been facing more hatred and worse cases than ever before. We're also dealing with shocking staffing shortages, not just with nurses, but also in my profession as an x-ray technologist: for the first time in my 11-year career, there are more jobs than people. Something we've been wishing for and dreaming about has finally arrived, in the most terrible of circumstances. For the first time I get to experience the guilt and heartache that comes from turning down shifts, which I had to do several dozens of times over the summer. Let me tell you: it \u003Ci\u003Esucks\u003C\/i\u003E. I know what it's like to work short, and if you have to do it day after day, for weeks and months, it grinds you down to your very bones. I wanted to help, so much - but I had nothing to give. No reserves either physically nor mentally. I would have been a burden more than a help, so I declined.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAgain and again and again.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt felt supremely shitty.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-cSJMOZKjaRE\/YUqNKH_DTUI\/AAAAAAAA4dw\/Ado2ENeL87wgJHdS28VO8dthjaOFGbzKQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/241083084_186047126955808_803975019312529414_n.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-cSJMOZKjaRE\/YUqNKH_DTUI\/AAAAAAAA4dw\/Ado2ENeL87wgJHdS28VO8dthjaOFGbzKQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/241083084_186047126955808_803975019312529414_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe hatred toward anything to do with the \"V-word\" is still happening, but in my world it's being drowned out by \u003Cb\u003Elove\u003C\/b\u003E. We've received an overwhelming outpouring of support, which means more to us than we will ever be able to properly put into words.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EPlease know: \u003Cb\u003EIt's often the only thing that keeps us going.\u003C\/b\u003E\u0026nbsp;Seriously. When you're facing challenging working conditions, staff shortages, changing in and out of PPE 10 or more fucking times per shift (which is very exhausting, FYI), all while you're tired and scared and freaked out by the person who yelled into your face to \"be ashamed of yourself for supporting a lie!\" - you're seriously contemplating a career change.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIn my experience it's never been harder to work in a field that's meant to help people, when so many people actively refuse our help.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EBUT.\u003C\/b\u003E That's \u003Ci\u003Enot \u003C\/i\u003Ewhat this post is about. I contemplated briefly to make this into another post about how helpless and desperate we feel. But I won't talk about it anymore. I'm expressing it \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.cbc.ca\/books\/literaryprizes\/calling-all-writers-the-2022-cbc-short-story-prize-is-now-open-for-submissions-1.6123252\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ein another outlet\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;(I'm almost done - I'll submit it next week).\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThis is all about \u003Ci\u003Ehow to be happy\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-4QVJ3HR8DG8\/YUqR22G2qgI\/AAAAAAAA4d8\/RSVHy3x4SRww5NbqSnJNe0B1DurH_btSACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Puppies.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"883\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-4QVJ3HR8DG8\/YUqR22G2qgI\/AAAAAAAA4d8\/RSVHy3x4SRww5NbqSnJNe0B1DurH_btSACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Puppies.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Xwl5CbgONFM\/YUqR2zi-zzI\/AAAAAAAA4d4\/DuBj10dAbwANxh25oRMd8Km6xvRlUP99gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Puppy%2Bheaven%2B2.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Xwl5CbgONFM\/YUqR2zi-zzI\/AAAAAAAA4d4\/DuBj10dAbwANxh25oRMd8Km6xvRlUP99gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Puppy%2Bheaven%2B2.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EObviously, I've had an unfair advantage when it comes to eschewing reality.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've had \u003Ci\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCSQkMhAkFqEW2zxFMnES51g\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Epuppies\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMore concretely: I've had Mia.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe kept one puppy of our last litter, and she has been nothing but pure joy for me:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-wvBpG6_MKwA\/YUqX3FAMXUI\/AAAAAAAA4eQ\/_ZB4Sk8LDkoSzaWvh0ttvA1uD3xAA5TyACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Mia%2Bbathroom%2Bbeauty%2B2.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"772\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-wvBpG6_MKwA\/YUqX3FAMXUI\/AAAAAAAA4eQ\/_ZB4Sk8LDkoSzaWvh0ttvA1uD3xAA5TyACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Mia%2Bbathroom%2Bbeauty%2B2.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-KuN-Cj3eJ-0\/YUqX3IQ7dcI\/AAAAAAAA4eM\/wK26j4xUdqIsGnWR639f3t7gxIAsS_vBQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s768\/Mia%2Bthe%2Bmouser.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"768\" data-original-width=\"540\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-KuN-Cj3eJ-0\/YUqX3IQ7dcI\/AAAAAAAA4eM\/wK26j4xUdqIsGnWR639f3t7gxIAsS_vBQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Mia%2Bthe%2Bmouser.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-MTo51xBhcF4\/YUqX3IU8gJI\/AAAAAAAA4eI\/Tw1l2p24etAY5o5nDAmj60XZbqDTD7twwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Puppy%2Blove.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-MTo51xBhcF4\/YUqX3IU8gJI\/AAAAAAAA4eI\/Tw1l2p24etAY5o5nDAmj60XZbqDTD7twwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Puppy%2Blove.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe other advantage I've had? I've had Rich. Over the last 19 years, Rich has always been by my side.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EHe's my beacon, my rock, my confidant. No matter what difficulties we have faced, no matter how much I doubted us, no matter how I believed everything was lost - it never was.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI have a million doubts and worries, and probably always will. But one thing I can trust after 19 years together is this: we are in it forever. We are each other's person.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd no matter how bad life gets, we'll always find a way to make it good and funny. Especially funny - we both know that the secret to a happy life is to find reasons to laugh every day. And in all the hideousness of this summer, we've laughed countless times. And we'll laugh many more times before the year is out.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-wOckY_pREfs\/YUqiQ2OcIgI\/AAAAAAAA4eo\/p64zUa9-9Y4RimC8btnSKYQII0d2BxgNwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Campfire%2Bcouple%2Bselfie%2B.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1366\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-wOckY_pREfs\/YUqiQ2OcIgI\/AAAAAAAA4eo\/p64zUa9-9Y4RimC8btnSKYQII0d2BxgNwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Campfire%2Bcouple%2Bselfie%2B.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EBecause nothing is ever as bad as it seems.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/3475860864587251418\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/09\/after-storm.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3475860864587251418"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3475860864587251418"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/09\/after-storm.html","title":"After the storm"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-qZPjKvAgjh8\/YUp40bv_XtI\/AAAAAAAA4do\/n1rsil7si-YJDhWm4Zkadq8CEsXRNapXwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Country%2Blife.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-6182938392373731305"},"published":{"$t":"2021-09-01T21:50:00.010-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-09-02T16:02:52.928-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"covid-19"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"healthcare"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"hospital diaries"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Thanks for spitting in our face"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-3yIggXpq0ao\/YSbz-QMRELI\/AAAAAAAA4bc\/CaANAiRoZOwLgM4JBvgIBpb2TP-6-umYACLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Covid-19.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1365\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-3yIggXpq0ao\/YSbz-QMRELI\/AAAAAAAA4bc\/CaANAiRoZOwLgM4JBvgIBpb2TP-6-umYACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Covid-19.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EToday, \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/globalnews.ca\/news\/8159734\/bc-vaccine-hospital-protests\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eall healthcare workers got slapped in the face\u003C\/a\u003E. \u003Ci\u003EHard\u003C\/i\u003E. And we will be hurting from it for quite a while.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EGone are the days where \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/03\/covid-19-diary-day-16.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ethe public cheered for frontline workers\u003C\/a\u003E, taped hearts into their windows and bought us coffee. Remember those days? Back in the spring of 2020, when all of us were willing to do whatever it takes to get safely through the danger and come out on the other side - healthy, safe, and most important of all, \u003Cb\u003Eunited\u003C\/b\u003E? Not anymore, my friend.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ENow \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/globalnews.ca\/news\/7484241\/bc-woman-heart-attack-mask\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ewe're being spat at\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;by people because we politely ask them to put on a mask - and suffer a heart attack as extra bonus. We're \u003Ci\u003Ethat\u003C\/i\u003E stressed out.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/world\/2021\/04\/25\/canada-coronavirus-ontario-ford\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ECritically ill patients may not get a hospital bed\u003C\/a\u003E because they're all being taken by people who are sicker - with Covid. (Incidentally, the \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.cbc.ca\/news\/canada\/toronto\/toronto-vaccinations-covid-1.6142972\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Epercentage of unvaccinated patients in Toronto hospitals is 98.7%\u003C\/a\u003E. A coincidence, I'm sure.)\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd worst of all? Disgusting sub-groups like the so-called \u003Ci\u003ECanadian Frontline Nurses\u003C\/i\u003E are emerging, giving all of us a bad name and spreading dangerous misinformation amongst the public.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm not gonna link them here, because that only gives them more exposure. Let me just tell you this very important fact: \u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: #fcff01;\"\u003Ethey \u003Cb\u003E\u003Ci\u003EDO NOT\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E represent healthcare workers\u003C\/span\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe, meaning all of us in healthcare who take pride in our profession and genuinely care about the welfare of our patients - \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/infotel.ca\/newsitem\/kamloops-nurse-worried-vaccine-protest-at-hospital-will-bring-disruptions\/it85417\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Edo \u003Cb\u003E\u003Ci\u003Enot\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E approve of their misguided message\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe did \u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003Enot\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E participate in today's protests.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIn fact, some of us protested the protests:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Rk35a9E8h4Y\/YTA8_8WbmII\/AAAAAAAA4ck\/pZGtEOT6dyg1zllPuyfSgrvRDNSZgp6qwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Protesting%2Bthe%2Bprotest.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1536\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Rk35a9E8h4Y\/YTA8_8WbmII\/AAAAAAAA4ck\/pZGtEOT6dyg1zllPuyfSgrvRDNSZgp6qwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Protesting%2Bthe%2Bprotest.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EKGH nurses in Kelowna today\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMany of us cried today.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-BIky8Zx5erI\/YTBAw6u3EnI\/AAAAAAAA4cs\/nXFx3VPP2bstygFf6ANFtrhzrlAjtS9SgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1292\/RIH%2Bnurses%2Babout%2Bprotests.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1292\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-BIky8Zx5erI\/YTBAw6u3EnI\/AAAAAAAA4cs\/nXFx3VPP2bstygFf6ANFtrhzrlAjtS9SgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/RIH%2Bnurses%2Babout%2Bprotests.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ECollectively we are defeated. We are more tired than we have ever been in our lives. And we are at a loss. How did we get here? From being united against a common enemy (Covid-19), to now being divided into two enemy groups:\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003Epeople who try to save you\/us - and people who \u003Ci\u003Eactively\u003C\/i\u003E stand in our way.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThere is so much to say, but I won't bother. My camp knows - and the other side won't listen. Still, I need to put down in writing what the last year-and-a-half has been like for us hospital workers (and retail workers, restaurant workers, and any other frontline workers who have been excessively exposed, abused, and put to their brink by the ignorant public):\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIn the beginning, we are terrified. We know little about this new virus, but we have seen \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/news.sky.com\/story\/coronavirus-they-call-it-the-apocalypse-inside-italys-hardest-hit-hospital-11960597\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eterrifying footage from Italy\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;about emergency rooms turned into impromptu ICUs, with so many patients in critical condition that the staff cannot keep up. Patients are literally dying before the staff can get to them. Can you imagine the toll this takes on a person who has devoted their life to saving people?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut we grit our teeth, put on our disposable masks for the third day in a row, hope for some PPE, and we are READY. We devoted our careers to helping people, and no matter how scared we are, that's what we gonna do! It will only be for a short while before it gets easier.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe promised two weeks turn into a month.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd then two.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd then three.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe are still stripping outside our homes, shedding our hospital clothes before we expose our children, our partners, our vulnerable parents.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe still shower before we even hug them hello, even though the shower feels like one super-human effort too many. All we want is to fall into bed and sleep for a week.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut we can't. So we gather all the strength we have left, put on our gloves, take the discarded clothes from the front door and stick them straight into the wash. Because, just in case you wondered? We are not being given hospital uniforms in the pandemic. We still have to bring our own scrubs, take them home, and launder them ourselves.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cimg alt=\"\" border=\"0\" class=\"placeholder\" id=\"e8df18d7462f6\" src=\"https:\/\/www.blogger.com\/img\/transparent.gif\" style=\"background-color: #d8d8d8; background-image: url('https:\/\/fonts.gstatic.com\/s\/i\/materialiconsextended\/insert_photo\/v6\/grey600-24dp\/1x\/baseline_insert_photo_grey600_24dp.png'); background-position: 50% 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat; opacity: 0.6;\" \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe public starts getting tired of the mask-mandate. In the beginning they were all on our side, but now we see the odd person getting salty when we remind them of the mask policy. \"Covid is no worse than the flu\" is starting to pop up. We will grow to \u003Ci\u003Eloathe\u003C\/i\u003E this sentence.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBecause it catches like the clap in a frat house. Everybody is saying it, without knowing \u003Ci\u003Eanything\u003C\/i\u003E about what Covid actually is like. Let me enlighten you.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-L2Ne3_0ajXU\/YTBLM_-GL9I\/AAAAAAAA4c8\/7FFLTjoA-AsximmPIiA1dtkx_B0il0AmQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Dying%2Bof%2BCovid.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1365\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-L2Ne3_0ajXU\/YTBLM_-GL9I\/AAAAAAAA4c8\/7FFLTjoA-AsximmPIiA1dtkx_B0il0AmQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Dying%2Bof%2BCovid.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EThe biggest problem about Covid is that until now, all the public has seen are the easy cases. The neighbour who got it but \"didn't feel worse than having a cold\", the asymptomatic friend who \"felt totally fine, dude\", the random Facebook person who claims they \"had it \u003Ci\u003Ereal\u003C\/i\u003E bad\" but recovered just fine.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EYou have no idea what happens behind the closed doors of the ICU.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EHere's what it looks like to us insiders:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EA 39-year old formerly healthy patient \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.cbc.ca\/news\/canada\/british-columbia\/unvaccinated-life-support-b-c-1.6153281?fbclid=IwAR2k9GOy3mBijSFPtEfVcHg5Y7oCpcqqWWWSmk3Y-EAnu-Muuva9IGKgY_E\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ewho had to be put into a medically induced coma\u003C\/a\u003E in order to survive.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EPatients who have such intense pain with every breath they take, it feels\"like a thousand bees are stinging the insides of my lungs\".\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EPatients who are begging their nurses to put them out of their misery, because they have the worst headache of their lives, they're more isolated than they've ever been due to isolation restrictions, and they have given up all hopes of ever recovering.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EPatients who have a fever so high, they feel like they're on fire.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EPatients who have delirium, which makes them severely disoriented, confused and panicky.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EPatients who feel like they're running a marathon while breathing through the smallest straw in the history of small straws. They cannot catch their breath, so they panic, which makes them hyperventilate, which makes them even less capable of catching their breath - until they feel like they're drowning. But they're not quite drowning, because as awful as drowning is, at least it's fast.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003ECovid isn't. You might be drowning for days, until you either die, or you get intubated. Which, btw, is no walk in the park either.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.vox.com\/2021\/2\/20\/22280817\/covid-19-deaths-us-nursing-home-icu-ventilator\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EHere's a detailed article\u003C\/a\u003E about what it's like to have Covid bad enough to be admitted to the ICU. I strongly believe it should be required reading for all high-school- and college-students, plus anybody who attends any sort of \"freedom\"-rally.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI know that's wishful thinking, but mark my words: most of the people who attended today's rally about claiming their rights to so-called \"freedom\" will get infected with Covid. Most, if not all of us, will.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EIt's no longer a matter of if, but \u003Ci\u003Ewhen\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EYou know the most ironic part about all this?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003ECovid-survivors who have spent any time in the ICU have compared it to \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.medicalnewstoday.com\/articles\/solitary-confinement-effects#definition\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Esolitary confinement\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EThe ultimate opposite to \"freedom\".\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EA lot of today's protesters will end up in the very hospitals where they made fun of us today.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EMocked us.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EEven \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.cbc.ca\/news\/canada\/british-columbia\/reports-of-assault-harassment-as-thousands-protest-vaccine-passports-outside-hospitals-across-b-c-1.6161817\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eassaulted us\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003ESome of us will have left by then. We simply couldn't take it anymore.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EThe rest of us will work short-staffed and highly-stressed for the 18th or so month in a row.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EWe will take care of you.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EWe will hold your hand, hold your puke-bucket, listen to your remorseful apologies.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EWe will do everything in our power to help you.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EWe will care for you, we will worry about you, and we will take some of you home with us.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EWe know we shouldn't, but we're only human, and we went into this profession because we cared.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003ESome of you might never leave us.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EWe were prepared for that.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EThe thing we weren't prepared for? That you would kick us in the groin for caring about you.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EIt might just break us.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ci\u003EFirst picture taken from\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.vox.com\/2021\/2\/20\/22280817\/covid-19-deaths-us-nursing-home-icu-ventilator\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ehere\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ci\u003ESecond picture taken from\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/twilamam\/status\/1433163958253391875\/photo\/1\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ehere\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ci\u003EThird picture taken from\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.vox.com\/2021\/2\/20\/22280817\/covid-19-deaths-us-nursing-home-icu-ventilator\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ehere\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/6182938392373731305\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/09\/thanks-for-spitting-in-our-face.html#comment-form","title":"13 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/6182938392373731305"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/6182938392373731305"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/09\/thanks-for-spitting-in-our-face.html","title":"Thanks for spitting in our face"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-3yIggXpq0ao\/YSbz-QMRELI\/AAAAAAAA4bc\/CaANAiRoZOwLgM4JBvgIBpb2TP-6-umYACLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Covid-19.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"13"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-498023315185156780"},"published":{"$t":"2021-08-28T12:35:00.000-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-08-28T12:35:51.029-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"hospital diaries"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"mental health"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"The agony and the ecstasy"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-M9YDv9QPOuM\/YSpoUrGAd7I\/AAAAAAAA4bs\/yDLdqeehkQYTVvju_DJ5O1ZaasnuJ9jWgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Coffee%2Bin%2Ba%2Bred%2Bdress.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-M9YDv9QPOuM\/YSpoUrGAd7I\/AAAAAAAA4bs\/yDLdqeehkQYTVvju_DJ5O1ZaasnuJ9jWgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Coffee%2Bin%2Ba%2Bred%2Bdress.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYesterday I cried on my way to work. There was no particular reason - the tears simply started flowing because I was so tired, and I was driving past the charred remains of the burnt-down woods, and I had seen a dead fawn in the ditch, hit by a car.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI thought I had pulled myself together when I arrived at work, smiling at my co-workers and patients, talking to the guy on the phone who had fixed my machine, even making a joke and laughing.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003EBut then I called my friend to pass on something work-related, and I burst into tears again. And a couple of hours later when I talked to my co-worker, the waterworks started \u003Ci\u003Eagain\u003C\/i\u003E. What the hell?\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhen an elderly male patient made the old joke about \"by the way, I'm not pregnant, hahaha\" I could barely force a smile. So funny, I've never heard that one before, buddy.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's not his fault, of course. I usually love interacting with my patients, and I don't mind at all hearing the same jokes over and over.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EDoing an ECG: \"I don't know if you'll find a heart, hahaha!\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EX-raying a skull: \"Not sure what you're x-raying, there's nothing in there, hahaha!\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EDoing a mammogram: \"If men would have to stick their penis in, they would have long thought of a better way of doing these!\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI don't mind because I know they're nervous and scared and try to hide it behind humour (a method I'm well-acquainted with).\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut when you have nothing left in your tank, you simply can't muster the energy to joke and chitchat. It takes all I have in me to make myself get up in the morning, after hitting the snooze button at least 3 times. I've never been a snooze-button kind of person, because I like mornings. But lately, the thought of having to face another day is almost more than I can bear.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBack to yesterday. I made it through the day, and as soon as I got home, I did what I've done every day this past week: I crawled into bed and fell asleep.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Vzi6yna_VPE\/YSpte-NNvEI\/AAAAAAAA4b0\/udVqagWL5wsy5hHbhi_4uxjLEG-VpTayQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Blurry%2Bin%2Ba%2Bred%2Bdress.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"599\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Vzi6yna_VPE\/YSpte-NNvEI\/AAAAAAAA4b0\/udVqagWL5wsy5hHbhi_4uxjLEG-VpTayQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Blurry%2Bin%2Ba%2Bred%2Bdress.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm fresh out of spoons. (To learn more about the\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.healthline.com\/health\/spoon-theory-chronic-illness-explained-like-never-before#1\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Espoon theory\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;coined by Christine Miserandino, click\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.healthline.com\/health\/spoon-theory-chronic-illness-explained-like-never-before#1\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ehere\u003C\/a\u003E.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBy the time I've done what I absolutely have to, which is the bare minimum of personal hygiene, driving to work 100k, doing my job, and driving home 100k, I have nothing left. So I sleep in a desperate attempt to get a couple of spoons to do laundry, pack a lunch for work, and maybe spend some time with my husband. I haven't cooked in a while, I haven't done yoga, I haven't written. Everything that I know would make me feel better I have no energy for. Ironic, huh?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe thought of going on stress leave has popped into my head for the first time in my life. Its seductive voice keeps telling me how amazing life could be without work: I could sleep in every day, have a long, lazy coffee morning, do yoga, and then go into my SheShed to write. I could visit my friends at the coast, see my grandson, take Lily for hikes, go for a few more \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/07\/new-passion.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ekayak adventures\u003C\/a\u003E, binge-watch Dexter with Rich every day until midnight, cook again. I could decorate for fall, mop my floors, play with the puppy for hours every day instead of minutes, meditate. No more Covid-talk, or rants about vaccines, or working short-staffed all the time. I could just walk away whenever someone started unloading their opinion on me, instead of having to listen to it because it's frowned upon at work to tell others to shut the fuck up.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've never wanted a life where I just work, eat, sleep, repeat, yet here we are.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-F_KSk2gV-do\/YSpxtaD7SnI\/AAAAAAAA4b8\/pfsnOgnvevYA-rry0MlJ3bO4tIhsN8I1ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1920\/butterfly-5131967_1920.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1280\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-F_KSk2gV-do\/YSpxtaD7SnI\/AAAAAAAA4b8\/pfsnOgnvevYA-rry0MlJ3bO4tIhsN8I1ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/butterfly-5131967_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut then this morning I slept until 08:30. I had a shower and put on my happiest red dress. I'm alone in the staff house this weekend, so I opened the patio doors and sat down at the kitchen table for my first cup of coffee. It was a gorgeous day with a bright blue sky, the sun shining, and absolutely no smoke in the air. And just as I was taking my first sip, a butterfly flew into the kitchen. It made me so happy, I laughed out loud. I watched it for a while and then helped it find its way back out. I took my coffee and sat outside in the sun, breathing in the lovely fresh, slowly warming air. It was blissful and quiet, and I could feel my stack of spoons slowly replenishing inside of me.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI started writing this post, and the familiar act of my fingers tapping away on the keys gave me another few spoons. Halfway through, the hospital called and I spent an enjoyable hour with my co-workers and patients.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBecause here's the thing: I love my job. I hate the politics and the current controversy about the c-word and the v-word, and how polarising the pandemic has become. I hate how it has divided us into two camps, and how it seems impossible to bridge the divide, because each camp is convinced that they are right.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI guess the only solution is time, to watch how things are unfolding, and it's probably gonna get worse before it gets better.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-RjNsXtBYRdM\/YSqJ3vo_gSI\/AAAAAAAA4cE\/kyW-K_be1GsKL968Of42E1TLqlm3Fa7bgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Coffee%253Dhappiness.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-RjNsXtBYRdM\/YSqJ3vo_gSI\/AAAAAAAA4cE\/kyW-K_be1GsKL968Of42E1TLqlm3Fa7bgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Coffee%253Dhappiness.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMy burnout is an accumulation of all of the above, but it's also the result of my own poor judgment. Because I've burnt myself out before working in healthcare, before Covid, and long before any of us knew that we 'd have to choose one of two sides.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm terrible at work-life-balance. Despite having gotten much better at saying no, I still overestimate my abilities all the damn time. I have an especially terrible habit of believing that future-me is some kind of superwoman. Ask me today to work 38 shifts next August, and I'll cheerfully say \"sure, no problem!\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhen I get emails inquiring to pick up extra shifts on Saturdays over the next few months, I have to restrain my stupid fingers to type back \"I'm in!\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI have an idiotic faith that future-me will be better, faster and stronger. No idea why I keep clinging on to that idea, since I've disproved that theory roughly 50 times by now. It's the lesson I can't seem to learn, so it keeps coming back to kick me in the ass like an annoying boomerang.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHowever, the timing is promising. I'm 4 shifts away from an 11-day break. This is the time where we get offered next year's vacation relief, and right now I \u003Ci\u003Eknow\u003C\/i\u003E that I'm no superwoman. Know your limits, play within it, right?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI might just get it right this time and do what they taught us in high school: just say no.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESay no to too much work, and yes to LIFE. Future-me will thank me!\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/498023315185156780\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/08\/the-agony-and-ecstasy.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/498023315185156780"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/498023315185156780"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/08\/the-agony-and-ecstasy.html","title":"The agony and the ecstasy"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-M9YDv9QPOuM\/YSpoUrGAd7I\/AAAAAAAA4bs\/yDLdqeehkQYTVvju_DJ5O1ZaasnuJ9jWgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Coffee%2Bin%2Ba%2Bred%2Bdress.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-1002876973619037089"},"published":{"$t":"2021-08-22T18:14:00.005-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-08-31T19:10:06.479-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fear"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"healthcare"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"wildfire"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Living under constant threat"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-9gUILLCCkbg\/YSKC2pMVHXI\/AAAAAAAA4Zw\/dPT_9lMncHYF1pP2yerDW9edd3hVggvygCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Smokey%2Bskies.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-9gUILLCCkbg\/YSKC2pMVHXI\/AAAAAAAA4Zw\/dPT_9lMncHYF1pP2yerDW9edd3hVggvygCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Smokey%2Bskies.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EThe call comes at 11:39 on Sunday morning. \"The smoke is getting really bad here and it's extremely windy. You better come home and pack our important stuff.\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've been expecting and dreading this call since June 30. Ever since Lytton burnt down during the worst heat wave in history, we've all been wondering if we would be next. Is it our turn now?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003EI'm in Ashcroft when he phones me, on my weekend on call, and I still have 20 hours left. But every community has been impacted by the terrible wildfires that are raging across BC, and when I call the hospital and tell them that it looks like we are about to be evacuated, all they say is \"we understand. Go home and save your animals\".\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI tear through the house, packing my stuff, with tears running down my cheeks and panic threatening to overwhelm me. \"Calm down, it's gonna be okay,\" I chant under my breath, forcing myself to take deep, yogic breaths. The breaths help, the chant doesn't. What if I don't make it home in time? What if the fire actually reaches us? What is gonna happen to our animals? What if, what if, what if??\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAshcroft is 100 kilometres away from home. There are two routes I usually take, but both are closed due to wildfires. The only one remaining is a detour that's twice as long, and I have horror visions that it might get closed before I make it home. I would be trapped, which doesn't bear thinking about.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI gas up, and make one quick stop at the hospital to grab my things and say thanks and goodbye to the weekend staff. One of the nurses gives me her phone number with the offer to take our animals if we need a place to go, and a patient overhearing us calls \"good luck!\" after me.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe all need it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-L_b12saw4F8\/YSKMDH8SSgI\/AAAAAAAA4aA\/R5MmqWEognMYU4NHKiHsTU5aKC59WbjKgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/The%2Bfire%2Bwas%2Bcoming%2Bcloser.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-L_b12saw4F8\/YSKMDH8SSgI\/AAAAAAAA4aA\/R5MmqWEognMYU4NHKiHsTU5aKC59WbjKgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/The%2Bfire%2Bwas%2Bcoming%2Bcloser.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAfter a nerve-wrecking 2-hour drive I finally arrive at home. It's just after 2 pm. The sky is orange-brown, the sun a hazy red disc that's barely visible. The wind is whipping my hair crazily around my head and there's smoke everywhere. The wind is blowing the notorious\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/vancouversun.com\/news\/local-news\/bc-wildfires-update-heres-the-latest-on-wildfire-situation-in-british-columbia\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ELytton Creek fire\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;that destroyed Lytton and over 50,000 hectares directly towards us.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI jump out of the car with my arms full and race into the house. Where to start? For a long moment I'm paralyzed, unable to decide what to do first. I drop everything on the floor, sink to my knees and burst into tears again. The dogs snuggle close, licking my face, and for a few minutes I stay there, crying and stroking their soft furs. \"Okay team,\" I eventually say out loud. \"First things first: laundry.\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EDoing laundry calms me, and while I sort and load and add soap, a plan forms in my head. Once the washing machine is running, I get my suitcase (that hasn't seen any action since May 2019) out of the basement and start filling it with our important papers, passports, laptop, medication, my camera, and other bits and pieces I want to keep.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI pack a second suitcase with toiletries, clothes, dog and cat food.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ERich is outside doing chores, making his own list. We move a trailer load of hay to a friend's place, and then Rich's tractor. I save files from my desktop computer to an external drive. Our neighbours are hauling boats, trailers, dirt bikes, quads, and whatever else they want to save to - where? I have no idea. We don't know where the illusive safe spot is, but the panic is contagious, so everybody is moving stuff \u003Ci\u003Esomewhere\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-P8Vm87UOq9E\/YSKQnlobMQI\/AAAAAAAA4aI\/-yhtrFbGZUUcr937ezKqnpY1-Kp-uThCwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/The%2Bgirls%2Bare%2Ball%2Bhere.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"774\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-P8Vm87UOq9E\/YSKQnlobMQI\/AAAAAAAA4aI\/-yhtrFbGZUUcr937ezKqnpY1-Kp-uThCwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/The%2Bgirls%2Bare%2Ball%2Bhere.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd then the car is packed, and we wait. It's still windy and smokey, and the sky is getting dark, almost black. It looks like a storm is coming, and the atmosphere is loaded with an almost tangible threat. We keep looking at the horizon, checking for flames, texting friends to find out if they have heard anything. \"Do you know where the fire is? How far away? Is it coming? Will we have to leave?\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EEventually darkness falls, and there it is: the tell-tale red glow. I get a text from a friend living not far from us: \"The order just came in: we are getting evacuated.\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EShortly after I get the official update on my phone, and soon after that the police cars are making their way up the hill, knocking on peoples' doors to tell them to get out.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"What are we gonna do?\" I whisper.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"Let's wait and see,\" Rich replies.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe watch the procession of trucks and trailers snake slowly down the hill, followed by the police cars with their red and blue flashing lights.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd then it's just us. We silently watch the red glow veering off to the side and bypassing us, heading directly towards town. The friend who has our hay and tractor is also being evacuated, and Merritt is put on alert. At around midnight I fall asleep, emotionally drained, but Rich stays up to keep watch until dawn.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe next morning dawns bright, and with a clear sky! We can see the blue of the sky for the first time in a week. Everything is calm, the air is fresh and clean.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThere's no sign of fire or smoke, and the best part: it's cool and around midday it's starting to rain. Hallelujah!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-tNwXh4M7a1o\/YSLMwsQP2rI\/AAAAAAAA4aQ\/XEqk__6xFNQjLMrEYF8FGhYBrzlv7JhAQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Sprinklers%2Bin%2BRocky%2BPine.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-tNwXh4M7a1o\/YSLMwsQP2rI\/AAAAAAAA4aQ\/XEqk__6xFNQjLMrEYF8FGhYBrzlv7JhAQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Sprinklers%2Bin%2BRocky%2BPine.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOver the next few hours we learn that most ranchers and people with livestock have stayed behind as well. We want to look after our animals for as long as possible.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EA friend who fled to Merritt couldn't find a place to stay with all the hotels and motels being full, so she slept in her car and goes home the next day. There are roadblocks preventing people to return home, and she is only allowed through because her husband needs medication urgently. The police officer sternly makes her promise that she will come right back - she promises, and then barricades herself in her house.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe thing is: Merritt looks worse than where we live. We've seen pictures of the hills around Merritt burning, and the main escape routes are all closed (including the\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.castanet.net\/news\/BC\/342974\/Coquihalla-closed-pair-of-wildfires-burning-along-Hwy-5-become-one\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ECoquihalla highway\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;leading to Chilliwack, our escape point) except for one last remaining route.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1CJ-94JNukM\/YSLbegGnV7I\/AAAAAAAA4ak\/wEbk07dUbI43OCPRg_4jKNIs6FU01_A1gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s720\/Craigmont%2Bmine%2Bfire%2Bbehind%2BMerritt%2B%25282%2529.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"665\" data-original-width=\"720\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1CJ-94JNukM\/YSLbegGnV7I\/AAAAAAAA4ak\/wEbk07dUbI43OCPRg_4jKNIs6FU01_A1gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Craigmont%2Bmine%2Bfire%2Bbehind%2BMerritt%2B%25282%2529.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EMerritt, August 15\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Kg2Bwrqlc18\/YSLbend9iDI\/AAAAAAAA4ag\/Nlj4h4K7yeQvXABcHuUXA_wH2s8xSgPWQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Coquihalla%2Bfire%2B1.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1536\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Kg2Bwrqlc18\/YSLbend9iDI\/AAAAAAAA4ag\/Nlj4h4K7yeQvXABcHuUXA_wH2s8xSgPWQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Coquihalla%2Bfire%2B1.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003ECoquihalla\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-BG3KddHoXkc\/YSLbeZf4_wI\/AAAAAAAA4ac\/WfhK57qLoWgPXCyg0gKBKtvwuMrQy90DgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1580\/Coquihalla%2Bfire%2B2.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1580\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-BG3KddHoXkc\/YSLbeZf4_wI\/AAAAAAAA4ac\/WfhK57qLoWgPXCyg0gKBKtvwuMrQy90DgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Coquihalla%2Bfire%2B2.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003ECoquihalla\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-2xczUXiAXeg\/YSLbedmcn-I\/AAAAAAAA4aY\/WZVcFmUS6y02rg_iiClyiXlM3dQZOuoXwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s800\/Coquihalla%2Bfire.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"600\" data-original-width=\"800\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-2xczUXiAXeg\/YSLbedmcn-I\/AAAAAAAA4aY\/WZVcFmUS6y02rg_iiClyiXlM3dQZOuoXwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Coquihalla%2Bfire.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003ECoquihalla\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ENowhere feels safe, and the updates are patchy and unsatisfying. What to do? Whom to believe? Where is safe? We decide to keep an eye out, our escape car ready, and to trust our instincts. We also stay in touch with friends around us, exchanging news and keeping each other sane.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe next few days are a symphony of contrasts: one moment I'm so filled with worry and dread that I want to vomit. The next we're receiving multiple offers from friends (and people we never expected it from) to help us evacuate our animals; offers that are so genuinely kind and generous, they make me weep with gratitude.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe're talking to people who say we're totally safe now, the rain put the fire out.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe're talking to people who are panicking and swear they gonna move to Nova Scotia to escape this shit.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI see posts on Facebook that tell me that disobeying evacuation orders is a criminal act.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI turn off Facebook.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm loading up the first season of \u003Ci\u003EDexter\u003C\/i\u003E and binge-watch with my husband for 9 hours, forgetting for hours at a time that we might lose everything.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe best part? We are truly bonding for the first time in \u003Ci\u003Emonths\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThat's what you may not know about living under constant threat to your safety:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt will \u003Ci\u003Ewreak havoc\u003C\/i\u003E on your relationship. You thought you would automatically be bonded tighter together than ever?\u003Cbr \/\u003EThink again.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-y3LdTkFSVuo\/YSLk3KKwVuI\/AAAAAAAA4a0\/4-olYfIdtWgXxFR0IWElnXiHRdj1mKM3ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Mammite%2Blake.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-y3LdTkFSVuo\/YSLk3KKwVuI\/AAAAAAAA4a0\/4-olYfIdtWgXxFR0IWElnXiHRdj1mKM3ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Mammite%2Blake.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThis is \u003Ci\u003Enot\u003C\/i\u003E a threat like the imminent dark forces marching in like they do in action movies. It's way more subtle than that.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's me driving 100km through burnt-down areas to a town filled with smoke for 7 days in a row, arriving at a work place where we're short-staffed and stressed, while at home everything is clear-skied, clean-aired perfection.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI come home hollowed out, filled with grief and worry, while Rich's days have been filled with nothing but sunshine, joy and summer perfection. I tell him what it's been like for me, but unless you've experienced it yourself, you can't relate. Besides, I'm short-tempered and bitchy, and he's had a good day until I came home, so why can't I just relax and enjoy the beautiful day?\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI can't, because I haven't slept properly in two months.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI can't, because I'm losing my hair due to stress.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI can't, because I'm so anxious and depressed, I want to scream. Or hit something. Or someone.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI can't, because if I listen to one more evacuee's story, I might never stop crying.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI can't, because I've been gaining weight, and I don't feel like myself, and I don't know if it's because of stress or because of perimenopause. I can't deal with perimenopause right now.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI can't, because I'm insanely afraid of the 4th wave. I don't think our health system can handle it.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm really scared for what's coming next.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHealth care workers are leaving in droves due to burnout, stress, and peoples' reluctance to get the vaccine.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHere's my co-worker's point of view:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci style=\"background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E\"I hardly ever speak about this stuff on social media, however:\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci style=\"background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003EThis is the actual situation at Royal Inland Hospital here in Kamloops. It is a dire situation. Bonnie Henry hasn’t been here to witness first hand, so she shouldn’t be allowed to say it’s not dire. \u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci style=\"background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003EBetween the Covid numbers, clinics closing, and the fires displacing people, on top of the already hugely high number of patients they see day to day, it’s very very bad. I walked through one of the many waiting rooms for the ER the other day and it was insane, the amount of people waiting and needed medical care, which they aren’t getting quickly because the nurses they do have (along with lab\/medical imaging etc)  are dealing with unvaccinated Covid patients that are taking up the beds and their time is frustrating at best. \u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci style=\"background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci style=\"background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003EI have seen ER nurses crying, I have talked with them, they are at a breaking point, they need help. It’s not fair what’s happening. I don’t know the solution, but not overwhelming the beds and avoiding a 4th wave at all cost is important. At this point, I’m afraid for my family to get sick and need emergent care, nothing against the staff. THEY ARE DOING EVERYTHING THEY CAN. \u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci style=\"background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003EBut the system is overwhelmed with Covid and under-staffed.\" \u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-dtAsLfXf2kE\/YSLwmvqJogI\/AAAAAAAA4a8\/dEPiDdH3UgsBT7kOnfLKBBvw2LBOE9s1gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Our%2Bown%2Bbladder.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-dtAsLfXf2kE\/YSLwmvqJogI\/AAAAAAAA4a8\/dEPiDdH3UgsBT7kOnfLKBBvw2LBOE9s1gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Our%2Bown%2Bbladder.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm a health care worker living and working in Interior Health.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm also a woman who's been living with well-documented anxiety and depression for years, who's had to deal with severe staff shortage, evacuation alerts + order for 5 days, and the pending threat of a 4th wave of Covid-19.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm at my breaking point. The fire threat is still looming. So is everything else waiting for me when I return to work tomorrow.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm returning tomorrow because I love my work and I'm devoted to my coworkers.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut what you see right now is the shakiest house of cards built \u003Ci\u003Eever\u003C\/i\u003E on a shaky sand dune.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EGive it one little upheaval - a little uptick in Covid cases, the fire coming too close for comfort, one wrong word from my husband - and I WILL LOSE IT FOR GOOD.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've been at my breaking point a little too long.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd you know what?\u003Ci\u003E So have you.\u003C\/i\u003E You're all in for a very rude awakening the next few months.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe've all \u003Ci\u003Ehad it\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EUs health care workers are the canaries in the mine. We've smelled the danger in the air before you - now it's about to reach you. \u003Cb\u003EWe are all in danger.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/1002876973619037089\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/08\/living-under-constant-threat.html#comment-form","title":"4 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/1002876973619037089"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/1002876973619037089"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/08\/living-under-constant-threat.html","title":"Living under constant threat"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-9gUILLCCkbg\/YSKC2pMVHXI\/AAAAAAAA4Zw\/dPT_9lMncHYF1pP2yerDW9edd3hVggvygCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Smokey%2Bskies.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"4"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-4554479943031575346"},"published":{"$t":"2021-08-02T07:56:00.003-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-08-02T22:23:59.312-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fear"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"mindfulness"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"wildfire"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"How to live a joyful life in scary times"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-QR4Fle-08A0\/YP8jrnOzuSI\/AAAAAAAA4Xg\/TegNdqubJiUmNRQvHRp-EY-f8AePrv68ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Smoky%2Bsky.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-QR4Fle-08A0\/YP8jrnOzuSI\/AAAAAAAA4Xg\/TegNdqubJiUmNRQvHRp-EY-f8AePrv68ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Smoky%2Bsky.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe smoke is hanging thick in the air, giving the world a sepia-tinted appearance like it's one of those old, yellowed photographs from decades ago. The sun is obscured by smoke, transforming it into a red orb in the sky. Everything smells strongly of campfire, a smell I used to love. Will I ever enjoy the smell again without being reminded of this time? I don't know.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThere is new smoke rising up in big, puffy clouds behind the hill not far from here, indicating that the strong winds we're having every afternoon have fanned the flames even more. The fires are all around us, hungry beasts that have been unleashed by human carelessness or accidents or lightning, and are now completely out of control. Thousands of people have been evacuated, \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/CQy5kbXDXuy\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ehundreds have lost everything\u003C\/a\u003E, and the rest of us is scared. Will we be next?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-R2bm0oN9dF4\/YP8kC-0iVgI\/AAAAAAAA4Xo\/WSS0Jov0hvcZsWfhABEfcru1jmmBRv5hgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Spences%2BBridge%2Bfire.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"720\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-R2bm0oN9dF4\/YP8kC-0iVgI\/AAAAAAAA4Xo\/WSS0Jov0hvcZsWfhABEfcru1jmmBRv5hgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Spences%2BBridge%2Bfire.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe frequent hum of helicopters flying above us in the smoky, sepia-coloured sky adds an ominous flair reminiscent of doomsday- or war-movies. It means there's a fire close by, being fought from the air with helicopters.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAll of it makes it feel like a war is on. And it is, in a way: the fire fighters are the soldiers, the fire the enemy, and we are the civilians, helpless and at the mercy of our army.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EGrowing up in Germany, we studied the history of both world wars extensively. I often wondered what daily life was like for the people during war times - how did they deal with the constant threat to their homes, jobs and lives? How did they manage to go on while being afraid and worried all the time?\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhile wars are definitely much worse than our current situation, there's something I have learnt: the best way to keep the panic at bay is to continue living life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-zMHkibR_sPc\/YP8nT8oJy8I\/AAAAAAAA4Xw\/-9yMSV5Yx7o-ABiMKb4-8IMbEHFHAA78gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Ominous%2Bsky.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"897\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-zMHkibR_sPc\/YP8nT8oJy8I\/AAAAAAAA4Xw\/-9yMSV5Yx7o-ABiMKb4-8IMbEHFHAA78gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Ominous%2Bsky.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-agNUDDg1Pvs\/YQgA_pul-NI\/AAAAAAAA4Ys\/15_MF8PTaRgX7be8LOSmzmVYhWPj1DmHgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Orange%2Bskies%2BAshcroft.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-agNUDDg1Pvs\/YQgA_pul-NI\/AAAAAAAA4Ys\/15_MF8PTaRgX7be8LOSmzmVYhWPj1DmHgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Orange%2Bskies%2BAshcroft.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm a worrier by nature, and with something \"real\" to worry about (all my worries \u003Ci\u003Efeel\u003C\/i\u003E real, but this one is indisputable legit), I've been overwhelmed with anxiety several times over the last month. It comes and goes like waves, but the fascinating thing is that when I can manage to keep it at bay, I simply keep living my life like normal: going to work, watching TV, doing my shopping and chores and stuff around the house. None of that stops, because what you want more than anything during times of uncertainty is to keep a sense of normality. While you don't get used to it, you adapt surprisingly quickly.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-XUbTBZNLPpY\/YP8t_wq2P-I\/AAAAAAAA4X4\/L10f91mjhyI0fuA4UzWID8LnoWxWkhKbQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Horses%2Bunder%2Bthe%2Bsmokey%2Bsky.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"825\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-XUbTBZNLPpY\/YP8t_wq2P-I\/AAAAAAAA4X4\/L10f91mjhyI0fuA4UzWID8LnoWxWkhKbQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Horses%2Bunder%2Bthe%2Bsmokey%2Bsky.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhat helps me live every day as best as possible under the circumstances is using a bunch of tools that are useful every day, but especially essential during times of adversity:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E1. List 3 things you are grateful for.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u0026nbsp;This is the quickest way to stop the worry-train about the future. You can't completely freak out and be grateful at the same time. Try it, I dare you! I sometimes do it at night, but most often in the morning to set the tone for the day. It's super-quick, but very powerful.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E2. Move your body. \u003C\/b\u003EI find that I'm much more restless and nervous on days where I haven't moved much. Two weekends ago I was laying all Sunday on my bed in a semi-catatonic state, surfing the internet (we used to say that, remember? when did we stop?) and watching endless hours of mindless TV. I stuffed my face with ice cream and felt a little bit worse with every passing hour. It wasn't the ice cream's fault (she did the best she could to cheer me up), it was me lying around in misery for so long. Everything in excess isn't good for us, and that includes rest. I binged on \"resting\" (it didn't feel restful) so hard that it had the opposite effect and started to make me feel restless and fed up.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThis weekend I went on my mat and for walks every day, and the endorphins are flowing! Movement=happiness.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E3. Stop watching the news.\u003C\/b\u003E Just like with Covid, I spent the first half of the wildfire season obsessively reading everything about the fires. I couldn't stop watching the footage online, I couldn't stop talking about it, and I thought about it non-stop. The result? My mental health took a brutal nosedive.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo I made the conscious decision to stop consuming so much about it and started replacing some of my worry with gratitude (best worry-train stopper, remember?).\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E4. Escapism. \u003C\/b\u003EI'm a huge fan of escapism. All readers are. We read to escape reality for a while and immerse ourselves into another world. I've been re-reading all of Liane Moriarty's books (she is one of my absolute favourite authors), and now I moved on to Lisa Jewell, whom I also love. On Netflix I'm devouring the excellent show \u003Ci\u003EYounger\u003C\/i\u003E, which I can't recommend enough!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd then there is the ultimate escapism: \u003Ci\u003Epuppy videos\u003C\/i\u003E. Even better when the puppy is your own - yes, we added a new girl to our pack: Mia!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E  \u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"362\" src=\"https:\/\/player.vimeo.com\/video\/582129928\" title=\"vimeo-player\" width=\"640\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E5. Hobbies.\u003C\/b\u003E I've woefully neglected my hobbies, choosing to wallow and numb instead. Unsurprisingly, that made me feel worse, which in turn made me want to numb my feelings even more, which made me feel worse - you get the idea. Breaking out of that cycle can be tough, but by using the tools I've listed above I did it! Writing this post may have taken 9 days, but I finished it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm meditating again, yoga helps me breathe, and I'm making some plans about the future - there are a couple of things I want to change, but I need some more time and insight to figure out how exactly to do it. It will come when it is ready.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI hope you find joy every day, no matter what's going on in your life. You deserve it!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/4554479943031575346\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/08\/how-to-live-joyful-life-in-scary-times.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/4554479943031575346"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/4554479943031575346"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/08\/how-to-live-joyful-life-in-scary-times.html","title":"How to live a joyful life in scary times"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-QR4Fle-08A0\/YP8jrnOzuSI\/AAAAAAAA4Xg\/TegNdqubJiUmNRQvHRp-EY-f8AePrv68ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Smoky%2Bsky.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-979061056914580395"},"published":{"$t":"2021-07-19T19:47:00.012-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-07-20T18:24:00.045-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"hobby"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"kayaking"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"passion"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"summer"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"New passion"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-CNf8n59vstU\/YPYpK-Kr25I\/AAAAAAAA4Vo\/usF7yOLIHkIAmFM6y9hR8RaQcKZNRwrCwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Carrying%2Bmy%2Bkayak.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-CNf8n59vstU\/YPYpK-Kr25I\/AAAAAAAA4Vo\/usF7yOLIHkIAmFM6y9hR8RaQcKZNRwrCwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Carrying%2Bmy%2Bkayak.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThis summer is turning out to be the most contrary summer of my life. It's in equal measures terrifying, amazing, uncertain, and incredible.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThere is the constant fire threat, and literally hundreds of wildfires in our province, due to the\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/07\/heat-wave.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Erecord-breaking heat\u003C\/a\u003E, unusually dry conditions, and the carelessness of people (a \u003Ci\u003Elot\u003C\/i\u003E of the fires are human-caused). But at the same time, there is the kind of relentlessly warm, sunny weather that I've dreamed of all my life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI did spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about the fires, mumbling obscenities under my breath about all of humankind in general for being stupid enough to set their own planet on fire, and the ignorant people in particular who throw their burning cigarette butts out of car windows, or light camp fires, because surely the fire ban doesn't apply to \u003Ci\u003Ethem\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo yes, for a good while I kept myself good and miserable. But who does that serve? Does anybody \u003Ci\u003Ebenefit\u003C\/i\u003E from me being worried and scared and angry and ready to give up?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou guessed it: nope.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo I sat myself down and asked myself what could turn this summer around. The answer was as sudden as it was surprising: a kayak.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1PfZx1izG94\/YPYpbxHaIHI\/AAAAAAAA4Vw\/FZ1N92nODkU77iJp6BOs8zSltHTXFpxmgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Truck%2Bwith%2Bkayak.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1336\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1PfZx1izG94\/YPYpbxHaIHI\/AAAAAAAA4Vw\/FZ1N92nODkU77iJp6BOs8zSltHTXFpxmgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Truck%2Bwith%2Bkayak.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYes, I suddenly knew deep down: kayaking would turn my shitty, negative, no-good-for-anybody-mindset around.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe funny thing is that yes, I have kayaked before, and I've always enjoyed it. But I was a tourist, a trespasser, playing at something that I never thought I would have a real interest in pursuing in my real life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut I've been putting \"swimming in lakes!\" on my summer-to-do lists for years, and I rarely make it past one measly swim per summer. Not because our summers aren't up for the job (they are excelling year after year, offering roughly \u003Ci\u003Eone hundred days\u003C\/i\u003E\u0026nbsp;(!) of superb swimming conditions per season), but because the truth is: I'm not a swimmer. I love the silky coolness of cool water against my sweaty skin on a hot summer's day (who doesn't?), but it's not an exercise I enjoy. In truth, swimming as exercise is almost as bad as running for me (which I also despise), except with the added negative factor of the possible drowning risk (I'm not a strong swimmer).\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-RoTr2FVYLxk\/YPYrKAj2F2I\/AAAAAAAA4V4\/QXc7AI4k3HUpfvzXrPCiLZ7FOdt35SA6gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Carrying%2Bmy%2Bkayak%2Blike%2Ba%2Bboss.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-RoTr2FVYLxk\/YPYrKAj2F2I\/AAAAAAAA4V4\/QXc7AI4k3HUpfvzXrPCiLZ7FOdt35SA6gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Carrying%2Bmy%2Bkayak%2Blike%2Ba%2Bboss.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003EClearly, swimming wasn't the answer. But dipping into an emerald-green, surrounded by wooded hills, beautiful lake \u003Ci\u003Edefinitely\u003C\/i\u003E was on my list of most desirable summer activities, so all I had to do was adjust my approach.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EEnter: kayaking.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ILIYFQVCiNk\/YPYsTA8x-iI\/AAAAAAAA4WA\/VdfXiS0J_LcgIGOTzwkm2hrhyatGDsUMACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Kayaking.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ILIYFQVCiNk\/YPYsTA8x-iI\/AAAAAAAA4WA\/VdfXiS0J_LcgIGOTzwkm2hrhyatGDsUMACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Kayaking.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAs soon as that thought struck me, I had an unshakeable, deep-seated certainty that it was the \u003Ci\u003Eright\u003C\/i\u003E thing to do. I didn't question it but marched into our local Canadian Tire and bought a kayak right off the wall, not even worried that it might not fit into my Mazda.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E(It barely did; we had to keep the hatch open and Rich couldn't see out of the passenger window because the kayak's bow was shoved aggressively in between the seats, poking the windshield. I was hunched underneath it, giving him instructions as to when the road was clear, grinning wildly the entire time.)\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe very next day I went on my first kayak.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd I was hooked.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWherever that blessed stroke of genius came from, I will be eternally grateful. It.Has.Changed.EVERYTHING.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-uylSdO-hsko\/YPYyIsJcsoI\/AAAAAAAA4WQ\/Tg_3X9fBFQYhmVL2-nw-3SuXzmVUjfbDgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Kayaking%2BLily.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"889\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-uylSdO-hsko\/YPYyIsJcsoI\/AAAAAAAA4WQ\/Tg_3X9fBFQYhmVL2-nw-3SuXzmVUjfbDgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Kayaking%2BLily.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-tWXvNkCbmz8\/YPYxc34bWGI\/AAAAAAAA4WI\/hpetNSavDokP27fMbxHZoQV2SKz6WJtQQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2015\/Kayaking%2Bselfie.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"2015\" data-original-width=\"1906\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-tWXvNkCbmz8\/YPYxc34bWGI\/AAAAAAAA4WI\/hpetNSavDokP27fMbxHZoQV2SKz6WJtQQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Kayaking%2Bselfie.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EFirst of all, I had to finally get over my recent (and totally \u003Ci\u003Eunreasonable\u003C\/i\u003E) reluctance of driving our old, standard Ford Ranger, because that was the only vehicle where the kayak comfortably fit and that I wouldn't have to unload every time I came home.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI stalled that poor Ranger an inordinate amount of times (let's not talk about it), which is especially embarrassing considering that I learnt driving standard and drove it exclusively for 4 years, in exclusively shitty cars!\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut then I came to Canada, where pretty much all my cars were automatic, and I got soft. Fast forward 20 years (gasp!), and I felt like a newbie again. Which honestly, never feels comfortable.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut today I didn't stall my dear little Ranger once, and now I love it as much as all the other Ranger-lovers out there. I'm one of you now!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-WNK8liK3qLo\/YPY0B-L2grI\/AAAAAAAA4WY\/T05QnY9MIGE1olk60M42DAbxFAmqZFEJwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Bumming%2Bit%2Bat%2BLundbum.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-WNK8liK3qLo\/YPY0B-L2grI\/AAAAAAAA4WY\/T05QnY9MIGE1olk60M42DAbxFAmqZFEJwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Bumming%2Bit%2Bat%2BLundbum.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESecond, I had to admit to myself that I know shockingly little about our abundance of local lakes, which is very embarrassing. There are literally \u003Ci\u003Ehundreds\u003C\/i\u003E of lakes within a one-hour radius of where we live, and I had been to maybe a handful.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMy mission was clear: Get your and your corgi's ass into the Ranger and \u003Cb\u003Estart exploring!\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd that's what we have been doing. It's been less than a week, but we've been out 4 times to 3 different lakes (I already found a favourite I went to twice).\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd you know what? After our kayak I let Lily roam around while I went for a dip. It was quick (I'm no swimmer, remember?), but it was supremely delicious: just as refreshing, life-affirming, summer-embracing and problem-forgetting as I always hoped it would be.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Tvs-IdVdwUk\/YPY2P00i0ZI\/AAAAAAAA4Wk\/4BI475tLxHglmpGfjuFxWOeW3P4PmleaACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Diving%2Bin.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Tvs-IdVdwUk\/YPY2P00i0ZI\/AAAAAAAA4Wk\/4BI475tLxHglmpGfjuFxWOeW3P4PmleaACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Diving%2Bin.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-LlOcYALDkPY\/YPY2P9JPPTI\/AAAAAAAA4Wg\/8V9f0wTZ0g0h_El9GKJ0-0NQvvbtsAdBQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Happy%2Bat%2BLundbum.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-LlOcYALDkPY\/YPY2P9JPPTI\/AAAAAAAA4Wg\/8V9f0wTZ0g0h_El9GKJ0-0NQvvbtsAdBQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Happy%2Bat%2BLundbum.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThere are some weird things happening at work that I have no control over.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThere is a constant fire risk in our area.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThere is insane flooding happening back in Germany at my family's homes.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut when I'm sitting in Rosie, my kayak, with Lily between my legs, I think of NOTHING.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm not listening to music or an audiobook.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm not thinking of anything. It's the most effortlessly meditative, in-the-moment-state I've ever been\u0026nbsp; in.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThat's the \u003Cb\u003Eincredible\u003C\/b\u003E and \u003Cb\u003Eamazing\u003C\/b\u003E part of this summer.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThat, and our friends and family returning for overnight visits: after the dry spell of 2020, we've hosted our most beloved and favourite people, and while I always need to recover after (I'm a big-time introvert), I LOVE having them here. We have laughed, eaten, drunk, and replenished our souls.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd it's not over: the joy will continue.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI don't take many photos of people (I'm still too shy), so let Rosie be a symbol of what the summer of 2021 has been thus far:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003Erich, rewarding, exhausting, life-affirming, and, most importantly: opening doors to new adventures.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EA new passion is an exciting love affair you have with yourself.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI hope you will find one, too.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-R_c-LOBzK8I\/YPY3pAAW8mI\/AAAAAAAA4Ww\/TC914Gmmay015Iv4HzzTcE9LT-I0iAdxACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Rosie.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"890\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-R_c-LOBzK8I\/YPY3pAAW8mI\/AAAAAAAA4Ww\/TC914Gmmay015Iv4HzzTcE9LT-I0iAdxACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Rosie.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/979061056914580395\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/07\/new-passion.html#comment-form","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/979061056914580395"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/979061056914580395"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/07\/new-passion.html","title":"New passion"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-CNf8n59vstU\/YPYpK-Kr25I\/AAAAAAAA4Vo\/usF7yOLIHkIAmFM6y9hR8RaQcKZNRwrCwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Carrying%2Bmy%2Bkayak.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-3522095742221386834"},"published":{"$t":"2021-07-12T20:32:00.001-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-07-12T20:48:49.827-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"catastrophe"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"daily life"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"summer"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Heat wave"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-y-Hk7TLven8\/YOzu1sF3FQI\/AAAAAAAA4Ss\/wJfOdmjzhskSw2DYIx4xW-RSIHWR0j5rQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s777\/Lake%2Bfun%2Bwith%2BAxel.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"512\" data-original-width=\"777\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-y-Hk7TLven8\/YOzu1sF3FQI\/AAAAAAAA4Ss\/wJfOdmjzhskSw2DYIx4xW-RSIHWR0j5rQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Lake%2Bfun%2Bwith%2BAxel.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou've probably heard of the\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/CQy5kbXDXuy\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Edevastating fire\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;that destroyed the small town of Lytton, BC, during the insane heat wave we had during the last week of June. Lytton, known as the \"hot spot of Canada\", recorded a record-breaking 49.6 degrees Celsius on June 29, one day before the catastrophic fire that destroyed 90% of the town.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI was devastated by the news, because I've worked in the hospital there for 2 years and love that little town. When a newspaper in Norway contacted me to make a statement, \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.vg.no\/nyheter\/utenriks\/i\/kRq3zB\/landsby-jevnet-med-jorden-etter-skogbrann-som-en-krigssone?fbclid=IwAR2OEiYd55lG7ZDM7J0T4SOu6or9tSDKArj7qAsQt1bhCzSZ1oLHH2fMJDc\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EI did\u003C\/a\u003E, which felt very daring, but important.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHere's the (somewhat awkward)\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.dropbox.com\/scl\/fi\/no5tjy9twf3uxduezviwa\/Lytton-interview.docx?dl=0\u0026amp;rlkey=4w84sabjxbawlgolk2snvbgcv\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EEnglish translation\u003C\/a\u003E.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd here are a few pictures I took during my time there:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-r-Y4c-pfFhY\/YOzwLDnol3I\/AAAAAAAA4S0\/p62lfsYnJ3c2On1xWG9P_2Zaf4tQHaHrgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Lytton%2Bfave%2Bview.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-r-Y4c-pfFhY\/YOzwLDnol3I\/AAAAAAAA4S0\/p62lfsYnJ3c2On1xWG9P_2Zaf4tQHaHrgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Lytton%2Bfave%2Bview.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-UPPXCT_LWLM\/YOz2F_8bOdI\/AAAAAAAA4TQ\/ARJFDTv2RiU8VEMpCaVUIHX6Sp2ORGXdwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/76960153_115682019921497_7651491353605490027_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-UPPXCT_LWLM\/YOz2F_8bOdI\/AAAAAAAA4TQ\/ARJFDTv2RiU8VEMpCaVUIHX6Sp2ORGXdwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/76960153_115682019921497_7651491353605490027_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Na7AjQhR-7U\/YOz1jE2A1VI\/AAAAAAAA4TA\/OyxKZPkvxEQdDQEznKO2FcTxlZYjfSkhgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Lytton%2Bwinter.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Na7AjQhR-7U\/YOz1jE2A1VI\/AAAAAAAA4TA\/OyxKZPkvxEQdDQEznKO2FcTxlZYjfSkhgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Lytton%2Bwinter.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-KJ-RacXqkko\/YO0BMt4VmxI\/AAAAAAAA4Tg\/0qnhsiXIihYzdlUyHvwekVf8qiIchJSZACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/130302948_399057287978852_3098345287388059188_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-KJ-RacXqkko\/YO0BMt4VmxI\/AAAAAAAA4Tg\/0qnhsiXIihYzdlUyHvwekVf8qiIchJSZACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/130302948_399057287978852_3098345287388059188_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-_rdMzCDY1-U\/YOz1jI0DisI\/AAAAAAAA4TE\/NTQVEGnvt6gfa2JiE1_tOUt7l_Jtw25eQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Lytton%2Bmemorial.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"960\" data-original-width=\"758\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-_rdMzCDY1-U\/YOz1jI0DisI\/AAAAAAAA4TE\/NTQVEGnvt6gfa2JiE1_tOUt7l_Jtw25eQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Lytton%2Bmemorial.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Ci style=\"font-weight: bold;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https:\/\/www.blogger.com\/video.g?token=AD6v5dwQgHx934ivbgB3GNzMagGnUiPF_rHaGwPNh7uM-SR27NEW-oQoV7L3JWRqp-izzym_TVd-VUyqN7WeRmGNKQ' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EFor a good week I grieved, cried, and was totally freaked out. It felt like all of us would be next.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EHave you ever experienced 48 degrees Celsius heat? I never have. I've been to Hawaii, Mexico, and Peru, and I've never experienced anything even close to that heat. It's unnatural.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EAll our rabbits died, because even our basement was 36 degrees. Our four old chickens died, despite being in the shade with plenty of water. 44 degrees in the shade was more than they could handle.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EOur little losses (that still brought me to tears) were indicative of our population: over 700 people died during the heat wave, mostly elderly and compromised people.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt was a lot.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-6jBcnuMw640\/YOz9gswFNjI\/AAAAAAAA4TY\/Uu95M3wEP-wqPTQIr3MuLhjuiy9aJ1AdQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s640\/Hospital%2Bon%2Bfire.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"427\" data-original-width=\"640\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-6jBcnuMw640\/YOz9gswFNjI\/AAAAAAAA4TY\/Uu95M3wEP-wqPTQIr3MuLhjuiy9aJ1AdQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Hospital%2Bon%2Bfire.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003ELytton hospital burning.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EFor a few days I felt like the world ended. But that's the thing: it didn't. No matter what happens, life continues. And despite all the angst I was feeling, I was one of the lucky ones. We were in no immediate danger, our house with all its memories, belongings, animals and \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/03\/easy-polka-dot-wall-diy.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Es\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/03\/easy-polka-dot-wall-diy.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eilly polka dots on the wall\u003C\/a\u003E was still standing.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo I had a choice: should I freak out, or enjoy life (that felt more precious than ever) to its fullest?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThere's really only one answer.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo I tried my best:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-N_1O84ngsZc\/YO0ERHxEeoI\/AAAAAAAA4Uo\/whnNLX7GihUsgqgSqmDZHPF4p7qMGNoVACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Lea%2Band%2Bme%2B2.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"720\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-N_1O84ngsZc\/YO0ERHxEeoI\/AAAAAAAA4Uo\/whnNLX7GihUsgqgSqmDZHPF4p7qMGNoVACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Lea%2Band%2Bme%2B2.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-LP77rP9d0OE\/YO0Bs0JBuwI\/AAAAAAAA4To\/3jQnINHzCeIlibNsDIqHXrVmzVTHN7bgQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Stef%2Band%2BJosh%2Bvisit.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"720\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-LP77rP9d0OE\/YO0Bs0JBuwI\/AAAAAAAA4To\/3jQnINHzCeIlibNsDIqHXrVmzVTHN7bgQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Stef%2Band%2BJosh%2Bvisit.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-0we3GsakKqo\/YO0B6edJc-I\/AAAAAAAA4Ts\/ud2laZNogioboVvBsqWYcyO0tv0ZOwcvgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/River%2Bwith%2Bthe%2Bgirls.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"861\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-0we3GsakKqo\/YO0B6edJc-I\/AAAAAAAA4Ts\/ud2laZNogioboVvBsqWYcyO0tv0ZOwcvgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/River%2Bwith%2Bthe%2Bgirls.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-MFl-hfECjlQ\/YO0CMUzZLyI\/AAAAAAAA4T4\/JTypsfIlc-QElpj5b5_2a-8YN44KEUv-gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Pool%2Bselfie.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"720\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-MFl-hfECjlQ\/YO0CMUzZLyI\/AAAAAAAA4T4\/JTypsfIlc-QElpj5b5_2a-8YN44KEUv-gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Pool%2Bselfie.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-4t1sfL6O30o\/YO0DKP767mI\/AAAAAAAA4UA\/noFqbJDPkOEsebTN3hWNd-ZY3f7WR46BACLcBGAsYHQ\/s578\/Head%2Bpat.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"578\" data-original-width=\"540\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-4t1sfL6O30o\/YO0DKP767mI\/AAAAAAAA4UA\/noFqbJDPkOEsebTN3hWNd-ZY3f7WR46BACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Head%2Bpat.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-xMLYOAyt0V4\/YO0DKH3ohFI\/AAAAAAAA4UI\/LMuaGDZ8D7YIRyF88lBYNIXdUkfP1SM7gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s763\/Opa%2527s%2Bbest%2Bhelper.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"607\" data-original-width=\"763\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-xMLYOAyt0V4\/YO0DKH3ohFI\/AAAAAAAA4UI\/LMuaGDZ8D7YIRyF88lBYNIXdUkfP1SM7gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Opa%2527s%2Bbest%2Bhelper.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EWe had the kids come here for a visit, one after another on my weekends off, and it feels SO amazing after the year where we barely saw them. In all the uncertainty we're living in with the drought and fires, we are also living our very best lives. And maybe that's the lesson in all this craziness? To live in the now, enjoy what's happening right in front of us, and we'll deal with whatever comes after when it happens?\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-JDNt4W5umoo\/YO0FGDhMTsI\/AAAAAAAA4U0\/Ub4YceLT6mEGV2o-Abx92TWCHRvp8Iz9ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1113\/Father%2Band%2Bson.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"640\" data-original-width=\"1113\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-JDNt4W5umoo\/YO0FGDhMTsI\/AAAAAAAA4U0\/Ub4YceLT6mEGV2o-Abx92TWCHRvp8Iz9ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Father%2Band%2Bson.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-yzKI4Jr-7Vo\/YO0FGC4AbYI\/AAAAAAAA4Uw\/lEkChOp4s90DflxPt0GSv2zPP6Q4OhLzwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s603\/Mother%2Band%2Bson.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"603\" data-original-width=\"528\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-yzKI4Jr-7Vo\/YO0FGC4AbYI\/AAAAAAAA4Uw\/lEkChOp4s90DflxPt0GSv2zPP6Q4OhLzwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Mother%2Band%2Bson.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/--UdJiGmPWAo\/YO0DKqGaCuI\/AAAAAAAA4UM\/llVywoLkKLQQDEXhmwMDg7jpedLT1Br6ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Say%2Bcheese.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"989\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/--UdJiGmPWAo\/YO0DKqGaCuI\/AAAAAAAA4UM\/llVywoLkKLQQDEXhmwMDg7jpedLT1Br6ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Say%2Bcheese.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-NydRA3TtOEA\/YO0DLGNO6WI\/AAAAAAAA4UQ\/HxSxzNaThGU6siPjO5yZ6Bsi0Auk6BHpQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Soccer%2BAxel.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"882\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-NydRA3TtOEA\/YO0DLGNO6WI\/AAAAAAAA4UQ\/HxSxzNaThGU6siPjO5yZ6Bsi0Auk6BHpQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Soccer%2BAxel.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EAt least that's my take-away from it. We are fazing another heat wave this week, and it would be easy to give in to the fear and apprehension about all the what-ifs. The risk of fire is still out of control, and with the lifted travel restrictions we have a \u003Ci\u003Elot\u003C\/i\u003E of people coming here to go camping. And who can blame this? Our area is insanely beautiful.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut every single extra person increases the risk of a wildfire, we see a steep increase in patients in our emergencies, and we're all wary about so many extra people here after a year-and-a-half of being by ourselves.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EPlease be aware of how insanely dry our camp grounds and forests are. I never knew dryness like this until I moved here - it's beyond what we in \"normal\" climates can imagine. Even a dry fart can set off a fire - so maybe abstain from eating beans. It's too dangerous.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci style=\"font-weight: 700;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/3522095742221386834\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/07\/heat-wave.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3522095742221386834"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3522095742221386834"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/07\/heat-wave.html","title":"Heat wave"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-y-Hk7TLven8\/YOzu1sF3FQI\/AAAAAAAA4Ss\/wJfOdmjzhskSw2DYIx4xW-RSIHWR0j5rQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Lake%2Bfun%2Bwith%2BAxel.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-2830233233564223048"},"published":{"$t":"2021-07-05T08:10:00.006-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-07-05T09:30:47.159-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"daily life"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"introvert"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Talking to inanimate objects"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Ds1sEw1UQWQ\/YOMR3gnvH4I\/AAAAAAAA4SQ\/Q58x0KgeJgcaZK3A-5nH4jliiaqD0IxPACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Finding%2Bpeace%2Bamongst%2Bthe%2Bsage%2Bbrush.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Ds1sEw1UQWQ\/YOMR3gnvH4I\/AAAAAAAA4SQ\/Q58x0KgeJgcaZK3A-5nH4jliiaqD0IxPACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Finding%2Bpeace%2Bamongst%2Bthe%2Bsage%2Bbrush.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOn my weekends away from home I've noticed some peculiar behaviour on my part. You see, I've been surrounded by dogs pretty much my entire life, and I talk to them. As it turns out, I apparently talk to them quite a lot, because when I don't have a dog close by to share my every thought with, I turn to whatever else is handy.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"You made quite the fuss,\" I told the coffee machine yesterday morning, because it had been sputtering and hissing like an angry cat as the coffee dripped into the small, one-person carafe. \"Don't be like that,\" I admonished it a moment later, when it spilled coffee down its rounded belly while I poured myself a mug. It's a cheap coffee machine that I bought at the dollar store, and it \u003Ci\u003Ealways\u003C\/i\u003E does that - so annoying.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"You're my MVP,\" I said to the kitchen sponge a moment later as it mopped up the mess. Kitchen sponges play such a vital part in the kitchen, and I feel that they don't get the recognition they deserve; I'm just doing my part to change that.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI also ask the food in the fridge which one of them I should eat when I look inside and can't decide. It's always nice to get a second opinion, you know?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt doesn't feel as weird as you may think it does. On the contrary, it feels completely natural. I'm not one of those people who can't stand silence and always has the radio or TV on as background noise. I \u003Ci\u003Elike\u003C\/i\u003E\u0026nbsp;silence, usually. But it's also nice to hear the sound of a human voice, and I quite enjoy talking to someone (or something) that doesn't talk back. That's why I will never get Alexa - she's too chatty. If I want a reply or a discussion, there are plenty of people around who are more than happy to tell me what they think. I don't need my inanimate objects to do the same.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-yGLBpTKdLD0\/YOMacfer63I\/AAAAAAAA4SY\/mKnMEALFLZgKejIfn036e99Yq3sf5wqrQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/River%2Bdays%2Bwith%2Bmy%2Bgirls.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-yGLBpTKdLD0\/YOMacfer63I\/AAAAAAAA4SY\/mKnMEALFLZgKejIfn036e99Yq3sf5wqrQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/River%2Bdays%2Bwith%2Bmy%2Bgirls.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd I've found that I can sort through my thoughts only when I take them out of my head in some way: by writing them down when it's something more complicated, and saying them out loud when it's something easier.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ETalking to my coffee machine and sponge aren't signs that I am lonely. Loony maybe, but not lonely.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAs much as I miss my dogs and husband when I'm away, I love those weekends by myself. It's the perfect getaway for an introvert to recharge her batteries. I catch up on my sleep, watch TED talks, find new inspiring people on Instagram, and read and nap.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMy bed becomes my life raft in the sea of life that can feel scary and uncertain. It's the only time where I spent hours in bed during the day without being sick or exhausted - there's always too much to do at home.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut here, my only job is to wait for calls from the hospital. The simplicity of it is beautiful; it's like taking a holiday from the rest of my life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-2DbPDP8EtNU\/YOMd1SdajSI\/AAAAAAAA4Sg\/MMT4ljfvRWsTbbmgBdeJCTw6-SxXCaTYQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/My%2Blifeboat%2Bin%2Bthe%2Bscary%2Bsea%2Bof%2Blife.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-2DbPDP8EtNU\/YOMd1SdajSI\/AAAAAAAA4Sg\/MMT4ljfvRWsTbbmgBdeJCTw6-SxXCaTYQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/My%2Blifeboat%2Bin%2Bthe%2Bscary%2Bsea%2Bof%2Blife.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003ESometimes I wonder if these weekends might be a little glimpse into life 30 years from now. I can see myself living alone with my dogs and cat (I will have two dogs and one cat), talking to them as I make myself breakfast, putter around the house, make plans for the day. It will be a life filled with friends and purpose (I hope), but also with quite a bit of solitude. I think I will like it.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut not yet. Now it's Monday morning, and I'm eager to return to my normal life with all its chaos and people and animals. I can't wait to hug my husband and then complain about the mess and the dirty floors and the empty hummingbird feeders.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESee ya in two weeks, coffee machine.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/2830233233564223048\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/07\/talking-to-inanimate-objects.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/2830233233564223048"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/2830233233564223048"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/07\/talking-to-inanimate-objects.html","title":"Talking to inanimate objects"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Ds1sEw1UQWQ\/YOMR3gnvH4I\/AAAAAAAA4SQ\/Q58x0KgeJgcaZK3A-5nH4jliiaqD0IxPACLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Finding%2Bpeace%2Bamongst%2Bthe%2Bsage%2Bbrush.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-5430924064252155191"},"published":{"$t":"2021-06-24T20:31:00.003-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-06-25T09:40:32.385-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"family"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life lessons"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"love"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"summer"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Hello from summer!"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-z-e2Ma4fMLw\/YNU2P0zRIRI\/AAAAAAAA4QE\/dvpG6HJa6nQ6reymeHX1COmWmnwssxswQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Magnificent%2BTeddy.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-z-e2Ma4fMLw\/YNU2P0zRIRI\/AAAAAAAA4QE\/dvpG6HJa6nQ6reymeHX1COmWmnwssxswQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Magnificent%2BTeddy.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EHi friends!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm in the middle of a season of *being* instead of doing, which is what I'm always striving for, so I'm ecstatic! What that means is that this blog is taking a backseat, because I'm not in a creating mood.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHowever, I'm still taking pictures (I doubt that will ever stop), life is going on, and I wanted to share some of those photos and the surrounding events in this space.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI hope your summer is happy as well!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-keTO76-Onno\/YNU3inJPDDI\/AAAAAAAA4QM\/0U5WBwDnqRML0zexW_I_aaxoU8V-0grLwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Dream%2Bcabin.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-keTO76-Onno\/YNU3inJPDDI\/AAAAAAAA4QM\/0U5WBwDnqRML0zexW_I_aaxoU8V-0grLwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Dream%2Bcabin.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThis porch is the happiest place on earth for me. On the right there's a hammock that's in the shade for about three-quarters of the day, with a nice breeze going. During the short period when it gets too hot in the hammock I retreat into the pool (photo below).\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOn this porch I relax after work, catch up with my husband, read, nap, dream, and drink wine. It also reminds me vividly of our \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2018\/12\/a-week-in-paradise.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Evacations in Mexico\u003C\/a\u003E, because we are hanging out with cool drinks in our hands in comfortable chairs or hammocks, watching the other guests hanging out around the bar, which around here means baby chicks around the watering dish or hummingbirds around the feeder, but doesn't lack any of the drama humans conjure up.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ERoosters, male hummingbirds, and male ducks are having fights worthy of \u003Ci\u003EFight Club\u003C\/i\u003E on a daily basis, fighting over who's the bravest and biggest, I imagine. Typical male-stuff, which seems to be spanning across all species.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHowever, the ladies are not shy in the fighting department either, but with a much more serious objective. We've been having a serious crow- and raven-problem this year, meaning that the crows\/ravens have been attacking the eggs (and even newborn chicks) relentlessly this year.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ENot on our fighting chickens' watch, though! These tough little birds have been pecking them so viciously that they've slowly retreated. Tough chicks for the win!\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ZrrF5j2Oudg\/YNU5GFsfBPI\/AAAAAAAA4QU\/JfShbVYjKj8xUeIl16qTvULNUq0ZvOiRACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1076\/Having%2Byour%2Bown%2Bpool%2Brocks%2Bcropped.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"811\" data-original-width=\"1076\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ZrrF5j2Oudg\/YNU5GFsfBPI\/AAAAAAAA4QU\/JfShbVYjKj8xUeIl16qTvULNUq0ZvOiRACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Having%2Byour%2Bown%2Bpool%2Brocks%2Bcropped.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ERich's favourite horse is officially retired from riding. He's now enjoying life as the head honcho of two young mares and a hotshot teenager, bossing them all around, eating extra portions of senior food and enjoying the whole experience tremendously.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's hard on Rich, but \u003Ci\u003Every\u003C\/i\u003E easy on Dancer. He takes to retirement just as easily as his dad does.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E(Dancer is the white one.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-DzaikaSTy7M\/YNU-WKX-7aI\/AAAAAAAA4Qg\/G5Z67KYXLU4lMsLdy_tHV-pVXjIbNJrKgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Dancer%2Band%2Bhis%2Bbitches.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"720\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-DzaikaSTy7M\/YNU-WKX-7aI\/AAAAAAAA4Qg\/G5Z67KYXLU4lMsLdy_tHV-pVXjIbNJrKgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Dancer%2Band%2Bhis%2Bbitches.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-l_d-V2r-Ftc\/YNU-WE-IFXI\/AAAAAAAA4Qc\/Mfa5uGe3ohkGDZ66eMpOC7WrGJPGm6ZOQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Dancer%2Band%2BMaya.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"720\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-l_d-V2r-Ftc\/YNU-WE-IFXI\/AAAAAAAA4Qc\/Mfa5uGe3ohkGDZ66eMpOC7WrGJPGm6ZOQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Dancer%2Band%2BMaya.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-zU1JxSCfTOc\/YNU_vM8p_QI\/AAAAAAAA4Qs\/0XksdqKeow0iZb-ES-uHeUXBxjww-oAtwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Lea%2Band%2BDancer.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"720\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-zU1JxSCfTOc\/YNU_vM8p_QI\/AAAAAAAA4Qs\/0XksdqKeow0iZb-ES-uHeUXBxjww-oAtwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Lea%2Band%2BDancer.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe spent last weekend with our youngest, feistiest, and most-like-Rich daughter, and we are still recovering. Haha, just joking.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E(Not really.)\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E(Her energy level is SCARY. Is that normal for 25-year-olds?)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E(We live a \u003Ci\u003Every\u003C\/i\u003E quiet life compared to hers.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E(Still, you're the #1-person we will suffer for, in any and all ways, always.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ELove you!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-RrDT_mKerkA\/YNVD0ri-G9I\/AAAAAAAA4Q8\/eQDnGDRdBYwt-FisyBonKvSvaDd5cVi1wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Me%2Band%2BLea%2Bblurry.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"720\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-RrDT_mKerkA\/YNVD0ri-G9I\/AAAAAAAA4Q8\/eQDnGDRdBYwt-FisyBonKvSvaDd5cVi1wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Me%2Band%2BLea%2Bblurry.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lulr7fu4cK0\/YNVEBKmdCMI\/AAAAAAAA4RE\/IEbOw1bbcIEap2ACgaqQKdL8db-S1c9mwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Fathers%2Bday%2Bdone%2Bright.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lulr7fu4cK0\/YNVEBKmdCMI\/AAAAAAAA4RE\/IEbOw1bbcIEap2ACgaqQKdL8db-S1c9mwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Fathers%2Bday%2Bdone%2Bright.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-gw-Ois2_NTA\/YNVEm9-MAzI\/AAAAAAAA4RU\/9555clkz-3kA1-YyO_2tROQK9OJZH64WQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Horse%2Bpeople%2B2.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-gw-Ois2_NTA\/YNVEm9-MAzI\/AAAAAAAA4RU\/9555clkz-3kA1-YyO_2tROQK9OJZH64WQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Horse%2Bpeople%2B2.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EOur sweet grandson is over 2 years old (28 months, I think?), and while we haven't seen him much, we've devoured every update and picture. We love him so much.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-_iC97tbYCEo\/YNVHVbOYnGI\/AAAAAAAA4Rk\/1Ag78rIcli0kUq4ZpAq3Jw7fSlvFczMBwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1079\/Axel%2Band%2Bparents%2Bswimming.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"824\" data-original-width=\"1079\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-_iC97tbYCEo\/YNVHVbOYnGI\/AAAAAAAA4Rk\/1Ag78rIcli0kUq4ZpAq3Jw7fSlvFczMBwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Axel%2Band%2Bparents%2Bswimming.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-wkbtV5EzOFQ\/YNVHgCM9BDI\/AAAAAAAA4Ro\/tOS481G5JIQJu7mY8H5vgaObRiniZyxuACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Axel%2Bwalking%2BRoxanne.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-wkbtV5EzOFQ\/YNVHgCM9BDI\/AAAAAAAA4Ro\/tOS481G5JIQJu7mY8H5vgaObRiniZyxuACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Axel%2Bwalking%2BRoxanne.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-3URZv13DRZs\/YNVHq6CgDzI\/AAAAAAAA4Rw\/c8ekt9WVeY4lytkuk_ZzAWLpKBCBJRgjgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s913\/Axel%2527s%2Bart%2Bproject.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"596\" data-original-width=\"913\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-3URZv13DRZs\/YNVHq6CgDzI\/AAAAAAAA4Rw\/c8ekt9WVeY4lytkuk_ZzAWLpKBCBJRgjgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Axel%2527s%2Bart%2Bproject.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe are very grateful and happy right now. Reporting happiness is kinda boring - living it is everything.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut, it's temporary. Just like sadness is. NEVER forget that.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIf you're going through a tough time right now, remember this: you're experiencing growing pains. And you've experienced - and survived them - many times before. Everything is temporary. And you can survive everything.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EJust hang in there.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI was where you are - and right now life is great.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut, and there's no doubt about it, it \u003Ci\u003Ewill\u003C\/i\u003E be crappy again. But I will hang in there then as well, because you know what? It \u003Ci\u003Ewill\u003C\/i\u003E get stupidly happy again.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYep, that's the secret to life: it's a roller coaster.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAn ebb and flow.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYing and yang.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWaxing and waning moon.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EFeast or famine.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAll or nothing?\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI refuse to believe that.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI \u003Ci\u003Eknow\u003C\/i\u003E that the world is not white or black. It also isn't 50 shades of grey.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's an infinite amount of rainbow colours, and many in-between-shades we haven't defined yet, and that I have a hard time even finding the appropriate words for.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo - let's not. Let's not define the yet-undefinable.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ELife is still full of mystery and possibility. It's still a fairy tale. It still yields so many surprises.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI wanna be surprised for a little bit longer.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EDon't you?\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/5430924064252155191\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/06\/hello-from-summer.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/5430924064252155191"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/5430924064252155191"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/06\/hello-from-summer.html","title":"Hello from summer!"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-z-e2Ma4fMLw\/YNU2P0zRIRI\/AAAAAAAA4QE\/dvpG6HJa6nQ6reymeHX1COmWmnwssxswQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Magnificent%2BTeddy.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-2749101125146337913"},"published":{"$t":"2021-06-13T19:14:00.013-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-06-13T19:51:32.261-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life lessons"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"staycation"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Less doing, more being"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lXwz4DfwYaw\/YMazWjZqn4I\/AAAAAAAA4PE\/YUdDOlFBYKkpqD5hkBGvh2N0_MZIti7rACLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Happy%2Bskater%2Bgirl.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1677\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lXwz4DfwYaw\/YMazWjZqn4I\/AAAAAAAA4PE\/YUdDOlFBYKkpqD5hkBGvh2N0_MZIti7rACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Happy%2Bskater%2Bgirl.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003EI had a list, again. A list where I wrote with big, scrawling letters VACATION GOALS on the top, before listing everything I wanted to *achieve* during my highly anticipated time off.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EAnother fucking to-do list, made for a time I had specifically set aside to get the break I've been looking forward to with an urge bordering on desperation. Ironic, isn't it?\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/--rQlsMLV5pQ\/YMazh7evUDI\/AAAAAAAA4PI\/R_1JmdLh8WsIkQ7KQVLAENXnCO3z0BBhgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Big%2Bblue%2Bsky%2Bin%2BAshcroft.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/--rQlsMLV5pQ\/YMazh7evUDI\/AAAAAAAA4PI\/R_1JmdLh8WsIkQ7KQVLAENXnCO3z0BBhgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Big%2Bblue%2Bsky%2Bin%2BAshcroft.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ELuckily, I abandoned that list on day 1, because doing nothing scheduled felt so incredibly good, I wanted more of that. So I said \"fuck it\", balled up that list and have just been listening to my gut for the last 5 days.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOkay, no, that's a lie. While I \u003Ci\u003Ehave\u003C\/i\u003E been doing only as I please, the list is still sitting on my desk, looking at me reproachfully as I'm typing these words, because I haven't been able to bring myself to throw it out quite yet. Maybe, in a few more days, I could try to cross at least a couple items off it ...?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYes, it's a problem. But that's how I've been operating all my life. I'm a list writer. I wrote lists for summer break as a kid, listing one time to \"get up at 8 every morning and have a shower\", because nothing screams summer fun like a scheduled wake-up call, right?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-YsNHMM4huuQ\/YMat9vSafLI\/AAAAAAAA4O0\/5a7ls-IPzH8QBi4rkT4nJHR_m4Tc7XIsACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Stripey%2Bdress%2Bin%2BAshcroft%2B2.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"620\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-YsNHMM4huuQ\/YMat9vSafLI\/AAAAAAAA4O0\/5a7ls-IPzH8QBi4rkT4nJHR_m4Tc7XIsACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Stripey%2Bdress%2Bin%2BAshcroft%2B2.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ENobody ever thought it weird that I felt the need to plan and schedule all my days, even days off. On the contrary, I was applauded for it. \"She's the organized, disciplined one,\" my parents would proudly say. \"Chasing your dreams is more important than sleeping,\" hustle culture tells us.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"The harder I work, the luckier I get,\" is a quote I had pinned on my \"motivational quotes\" Pinterest board. (It's not there anymore.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've been working towards getting away from the hustle culture for the last three years and even\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/store12487153.ecwid.com\/Quit-the-Hustle-p146146199\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ewrote a book about it\u003C\/a\u003E. But, as it turns out, this is an ongoing battle.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003EI keep thinking that once you've figured something out, you know it for life. One more thing to cross off life's never-ending to-do list, right?\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EBut time and time again, I get hit by the unpleasant realization that this is completely wrong.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EWe are never \u003Ci\u003Edone\u003C\/i\u003E.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EWe will never have it all \u003Ci\u003Efigured out\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EWe may have had a breakthrough yesterday, but that's no guarantee that we won't struggle with the same demons again next month, or next year.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EIt's the most frustrating discovery in an otherwise amazing season of becoming increasingly confident and coming ever closer to the satisfying attitude of \"I don't give a fuck\".\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-tqAkEmBcFlw\/YMazCGyW-tI\/AAAAAAAA4O8\/yC90qKmdxY8nDd1eTJr2yggMqvHgn1xPACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Desert%2Bgrass.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-tqAkEmBcFlw\/YMazCGyW-tI\/AAAAAAAA4O8\/yC90qKmdxY8nDd1eTJr2yggMqvHgn1xPACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Desert%2Bgrass.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMy demons are the ongoing quest of \"finding my purpose\", feeling like I only matter if I work, contribute, and do, and the need to prove myself.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ELike most of you, I was taught that I'm only worthy when I'm hard-working, and always try to improve myself.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThat expectation lives rent-free in my head, and I have a hard time shaking it off.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo, that's what this staycation is for. I try to \u003Cb\u003Ebe\u003C\/b\u003E instead of \u003Cb\u003Edo\u003C\/b\u003E, but boy oh boy, it does \u003Ci\u003Enot\u003C\/i\u003E come easily to me.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMy fingers are itching to write down \"meditated for 10 minutes today\" (which is something I usually do), to add the latest book I've read to my list of \"books I've read in 2021\", to make note of every walk, every yoga practice, every word count if I wrote that day.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMaybe it's not wrong, but in my case it's used as proof that I didn't \"waste\" today, and that mindset is a cage. It's a cage that I've been imprisoned in since I was very young, and that I need to escape.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/--Z3JoWbo__A\/YMa4UI5oAvI\/AAAAAAAA4PU\/RHR74Q4iRkA9KyuL-tv3ozgQgahuZoghgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s929\/Shooting%2Bduck%2Bskater%2Bpose.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"537\" data-original-width=\"929\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/--Z3JoWbo__A\/YMa4UI5oAvI\/AAAAAAAA4PU\/RHR74Q4iRkA9KyuL-tv3ozgQgahuZoghgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Shooting%2Bduck%2Bskater%2Bpose.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003EMy goal is to be free of those voices in my head. I want to feel just as good about myself on a day where I didn't achieve anything than I do on a day where I was productive.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI want to be able to come back to work after vacation proudly, even when I have no obvious achievement in my pocket, and not feel ashamed.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI want to learn to just get up with zero expectations. To go with the flow. To have no list. To just hang. My husband is a master at this - he lives in the moment every day, especially now that he is retired and has no work requirements anymore.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt is extremely difficult for me. Everything inside me - my upbringing, social conditioning, and my own unique make-up that's very goal-oriented - is fighting against it. I will never be someone who can lie on a beach for 2 weeks and feel perfectly happy, and that's fine.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut I need to learn to relax more. To not measure every day by all the things I accomplished that day.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ETo be okay if a day was a truly lazy one, with NOTHING done.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's a work in progress. But I'm working on it!\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ETwo more weeks of staycation left to devote to it, and the rest of my life after that 😊\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-pa7In2rBCws\/YMa7ig9OJUI\/AAAAAAAA4Pc\/av4NpmsqWjUwGYsaH3xuqOGNBHvb2z8SACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Sunset%2Bin%2BAshcroft.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-pa7In2rBCws\/YMa7ig9OJUI\/AAAAAAAA4Pc\/av4NpmsqWjUwGYsaH3xuqOGNBHvb2z8SACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Sunset%2Bin%2BAshcroft.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/2749101125146337913\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/06\/less-doing-more-being.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/2749101125146337913"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/2749101125146337913"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/06\/less-doing-more-being.html","title":"Less doing, more being"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lXwz4DfwYaw\/YMazWjZqn4I\/AAAAAAAA4PE\/YUdDOlFBYKkpqD5hkBGvh2N0_MZIti7rACLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Happy%2Bskater%2Bgirl.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-3097711318413599379"},"published":{"$t":"2021-06-03T20:24:00.004-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-06-03T20:31:46.462-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"I'm a feeder of hummingbirds"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Dqda6wSzXFU\/YLmSt4WiVhI\/AAAAAAAA4Go\/fdHxscUxFXY972T6x2dOtoARxTnh8IPOgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1467\/Wild-haired%2Bselfie.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1436\" data-original-width=\"1467\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Dqda6wSzXFU\/YLmSt4WiVhI\/AAAAAAAA4Go\/fdHxscUxFXY972T6x2dOtoARxTnh8IPOgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Wild-haired%2Bselfie.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm lost right now. Confused. The thing I love to do the most - writing - I can't do. I have difficulty focusing on what used to be so important to me.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm not creative. I want to be, and I have ideas, but I can't gather the motivation to actually follow through.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhat does it mean? Does it even mean anything? Maybe it means nothing? Maybe we just go through dry spells and it's totally normal? Maybe I'm just tired and exhausted? Maybe we should all just give ourselves way more breaks, way many more times?? (Bad English, but necessary to drive the point home.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI may not know where my passion disappeared to right now.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut there's a ton of stuff I \u003Ci\u003Edo\u003C\/i\u003E know, \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2017\/11\/where-i-want-to-be-in-june-2022.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ewisdom I fought hard for\u003C\/a\u003E,\u0026nbsp;that I'm proud to pass on to you now:\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm a wife and a nurturer.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm a feeder of hummingbirds. We've increased our feeders from one to three, and I'm refilling them every three days. My juice brings all the boys to the yard, and I am \u003Ci\u003Eproud\u003C\/i\u003E of that fact.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm a scratcher of dog bellies, a brusher of dog hair, a cleaner of dog pee, a remover of dog period stains on our tile. (Relax boys, it's natural.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-XfH6Atb8fyw\/YLmS7kMue-I\/AAAAAAAA4Gs\/gZNuHT-j7Ho8EPh72ck4tyABJ7L__y5tQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Bear%2Band%2Bme.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"606\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-XfH6Atb8fyw\/YLmS7kMue-I\/AAAAAAAA4Gs\/gZNuHT-j7Ho8EPh72ck4tyABJ7L__y5tQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Bear%2Band%2Bme.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm an adventurer, chasing down her 20+ year-old past of being a skater girl, and becoming it once again, just different. (Way more padding, way less attitude.)\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-5MDGXo2jfTo\/YLmeFyByDcI\/AAAAAAAA4HM\/Zpg2Te76MggVzmplX4M4B-UypJxAOwKAQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Miri%2Brollerskating.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-5MDGXo2jfTo\/YLmeFyByDcI\/AAAAAAAA4HM\/Zpg2Te76MggVzmplX4M4B-UypJxAOwKAQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Miri%2Brollerskating.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm a sister who had planned to see her sister this month, and who's disappointed that she can't. I miss her a \u003Ci\u003Elot\u003C\/i\u003E.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-H3rKfZLVTq0\/YLmW1zUwHuI\/AAAAAAAA4G8\/afyDA2FMYJ4hm1znvbSQYTZ2qu7P2Xe7wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Clearly%2Brelated.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"869\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-H3rKfZLVTq0\/YLmW1zUwHuI\/AAAAAAAA4G8\/afyDA2FMYJ4hm1znvbSQYTZ2qu7P2Xe7wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Clearly%2Brelated.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm an aunt who was hoping to see her niece next month. This won't happen. I also miss her a lot.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-XmwtRoBNBoE\/YLmYfxEG4BI\/AAAAAAAA4HE\/npB4vgk9FWIPptwrIbBP2C-A-vaC_CYbQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s720\/Eyes%2Bclosed%2Bselfie.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"717\" data-original-width=\"720\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-XmwtRoBNBoE\/YLmYfxEG4BI\/AAAAAAAA4HE\/npB4vgk9FWIPptwrIbBP2C-A-vaC_CYbQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Eyes%2Bclosed%2Bselfie.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm a wearer of \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2019\/02\/on-being-whoever-you-want-to-be.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eimpractical dresses\u003C\/a\u003E, because I love dresses, and I decided a few years ago that I would wear them whenever I please. And now I do!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-AgtXMkxbteM\/YLmQ7mQCodI\/AAAAAAAA4Gg\/fC77NPEFGMkwMHOEqWeYsv4xPW16RrcsACLcBGAsYHQ\/s537\/Selfie.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"487\" data-original-width=\"537\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-AgtXMkxbteM\/YLmQ7mQCodI\/AAAAAAAA4Gg\/fC77NPEFGMkwMHOEqWeYsv4xPW16RrcsACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Selfie.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm a terrible, yet enthusiastic dancer who loves to cut the rug when she feels down. (There's no video-graphic evidence of this, which is probably a good thing.)\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm a nurturer of her grey hair, embracing it instead of fighting it.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI have weird, unexplained aches and pains.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm a grandma who hasn't seen her grandson in way too long, but can't wait to remedy this this summer.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-RfmvHxJdPME\/YLmUHo_vTBI\/AAAAAAAA4G0\/B6XnOJ-KxE8exQW_mMQNF3C9fRiu7TdAwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Axel%2Bwalking%2BRoxanne%2Bfrom%2Bbehind.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1009\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-RfmvHxJdPME\/YLmUHo_vTBI\/AAAAAAAA4G0\/B6XnOJ-KxE8exQW_mMQNF3C9fRiu7TdAwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Axel%2Bwalking%2BRoxanne%2Bfrom%2Bbehind.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm an unfinished human being who needs some help. (It's coming.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm an enthusiastic x-ray technologist who loves her patients, but who needs a break. (It's also coming.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm a woman who lost her balance.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EA woman who needs a break.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIn short: I'm just like you.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EUnfinished, incomplete, confused, still clueless as fuck despite all her \"soul work\".\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWelcome to the club.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/3097711318413599379\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/06\/im-feeder-of-hummingbirds.html#comment-form","title":"4 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3097711318413599379"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3097711318413599379"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/06\/im-feeder-of-hummingbirds.html","title":"I'm a feeder of hummingbirds"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Dqda6wSzXFU\/YLmSt4WiVhI\/AAAAAAAA4Go\/fdHxscUxFXY972T6x2dOtoARxTnh8IPOgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Wild-haired%2Bselfie.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"4"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-2079682662893310974"},"published":{"$t":"2021-05-16T21:39:00.004-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-05-16T21:39:37.921-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"happiness"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"A really good day"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-FhSn_oVsAvE\/YKHlUVl8EPI\/AAAAAAAA39Q\/FKnxkjWr-A8wW1AnJxExuRoPoBq9XmkEgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1188\/Matching%2521.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"572\" data-original-width=\"1188\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-FhSn_oVsAvE\/YKHlUVl8EPI\/AAAAAAAA39Q\/FKnxkjWr-A8wW1AnJxExuRoPoBq9XmkEgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Matching%2521.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm reporting live from my desk at dusk, listening to the\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=e3PcnNiWygw\u0026amp;list=PLjgdVsBtbkvvCcoWRPRu85MOJjZbCj1TX\u0026amp;index=8\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EWalk Off The Earth\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;playlist, after I had a VERY GOOD DAY. The news don't like to report good stuff, because apparently it doesn't sell as well as bad news. Well, screw that, I'm gonna report about my good day! Not in a braggy way though, because humble-bragging is the WORST.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe elements that make a post braggy (and so annoying) usually include either\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003Ea) expensive vacations normal mortals can't afford,\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003Eb) free shit normal mortals don't get,\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003Ec) invitations to exclusive events normal mortals don't get invited to, or\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003Ed) some rare stroke of luck, like winning the lottery, or getting an extremely rare contract to something we wish we could get (book contract for me).\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWell, rest assured, none of the above apply.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EToday was simply wonderful because the weather was beautiful, I had the day off, and I did all the things I love to do!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-GGQdIPASOAk\/YKHoM2GYj1I\/AAAAAAAA39Y\/FmJaGgxRJIIxrTSnn468mrqBRYuZ5xY5ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Big%2Bdogs.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"520\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-GGQdIPASOAk\/YKHoM2GYj1I\/AAAAAAAA39Y\/FmJaGgxRJIIxrTSnn468mrqBRYuZ5xY5ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Big%2Bdogs.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI yogaed and meditated with the humming birds above me, and had coffee and a warm chocolate croissant after.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ELily and I went for a walk.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-AxpWmN4REaE\/YKHrEQatMgI\/AAAAAAAA39g\/KNfwfh_P2ssLBSuDlX7eYsND6BKtYfQPgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Lily%2Bwalks.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"679\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-AxpWmN4REaE\/YKHrEQatMgI\/AAAAAAAA39g\/KNfwfh_P2ssLBSuDlX7eYsND6BKtYfQPgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Lily%2Bwalks.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhen we came home it was so warm, I spent the rest of the day in cut-off shorts and a bikini top! I did some house cleaning, played with the horses, watched Rich do some planting, did some chores, drank some wine, cooked some food, and enjoyed \u003Ci\u003Eevery last minute\u003C\/i\u003E of everything.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-aAhWx3HSIrk\/YKHsC-NkisI\/AAAAAAAA394\/XS23KxeHChI49V2z0SRKpA9tJ1rG6DQVQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Happy%2Bcows%2B1.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"636\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-aAhWx3HSIrk\/YKHsC-NkisI\/AAAAAAAA394\/XS23KxeHChI49V2z0SRKpA9tJ1rG6DQVQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Happy%2Bcows%2B1.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-GHokq72p-e0\/YKHsC0W8qsI\/AAAAAAAA390\/rptLhI8Ies8t6xC1Bf8QIh5HpZsefP6HACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/My%2Bgardener.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"549\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-GHokq72p-e0\/YKHsC0W8qsI\/AAAAAAAA390\/rptLhI8Ies8t6xC1Bf8QIh5HpZsefP6HACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/My%2Bgardener.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-C2izZB6oK-U\/YKHsC_d1e0I\/AAAAAAAA398\/q4d_3EZ5jYwvnfOk3gA0QRf46v1ltX7CwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s940\/Planting%2Bhands.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"892\" data-original-width=\"940\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-C2izZB6oK-U\/YKHsC_d1e0I\/AAAAAAAA398\/q4d_3EZ5jYwvnfOk3gA0QRf46v1ltX7CwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Planting%2Bhands.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI felt grateful and happy and content all day. That usually happens when the weather is as gorgeous as it was today, but it also has a lot to do with meditating in the morning. \"Focus on the now\", Andy keeps telling me (I do guided meditation via the Headspace App). And you know what? He's right.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's Sunday night, 9:15 pm, and the Sunday Scaries are living their best life in many people's lives right now. Not here, though - I'm still living in my Sunday \u003Ci\u003Ebliss\u003C\/i\u003E. Fuck off, Sunday Scaries!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-AT45G0EsyVY\/YKHt_x-lnrI\/AAAAAAAA3-U\/87FYT99dOGQL7aZqZHKfzH3TKGJyVvj2ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Itty%2Bbitty%2Btitty%2Bcommittee.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"720\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-AT45G0EsyVY\/YKHt_x-lnrI\/AAAAAAAA3-U\/87FYT99dOGQL7aZqZHKfzH3TKGJyVvj2ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Itty%2Bbitty%2Btitty%2Bcommittee.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-IqLFF6xJPuE\/YKHt_zp73qI\/AAAAAAAA3-Q\/BfVCCIBEjhk9KiCqUrI5ZB10DmQvj8cIwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/My%2Blove%2B%2528with%2Bweird%2Bclouds%2Bbehind%2Bhim%2529.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"532\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-IqLFF6xJPuE\/YKHt_zp73qI\/AAAAAAAA3-Q\/BfVCCIBEjhk9KiCqUrI5ZB10DmQvj8cIwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/My%2Blove%2B%2528with%2Bweird%2Bclouds%2Bbehind%2Bhim%2529.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAre we comfortable with (semi-) nakedness? Hell yes, we are! The sun feels \u003Ci\u003Ebeautiful\u003C\/i\u003E on naked skin.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci style=\"font-weight: bold;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-9B_yEPl06Iw\/YKHvTzuA7DI\/AAAAAAAA3-0\/rnXqKnkhkh44tMQZiUnyV2e4Ua9o1E2bQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Happy%2Bcows%2B2.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"600\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-9B_yEPl06Iw\/YKHvTzuA7DI\/AAAAAAAA3-0\/rnXqKnkhkh44tMQZiUnyV2e4Ua9o1E2bQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Happy%2Bcows%2B2.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-80DIXFsbuY8\/YKHvT0EHY_I\/AAAAAAAA3-4\/iwTROSToF2oo3gw8hzQgtBaQAb6Di_YtwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Sunbathing%2Bcorgi.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-80DIXFsbuY8\/YKHvT0EHY_I\/AAAAAAAA3-4\/iwTROSToF2oo3gw8hzQgtBaQAb6Di_YtwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Sunbathing%2Bcorgi.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EToday was totally ordinary. For many people, it was a day they wouldn't like. Cleaning your living room? Doing chores on your day off? Cleaning your \u003Ci\u003Etoilet\u003C\/i\u003E? How annoying.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut I loved today. I love where I live, who I spend my time with, and my own company. That's the secret to it all, kids.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EAs simple as it sounds: that's \u003Ci\u003Eit\u003C\/i\u003E. You have to find a place, occupation, and person you like to spend your time with.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut most importantly: you have to like \u003Ci\u003Eyourself\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EBecause you won't spend more time with anybody else than yourself.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EMake sure she's the coolest chick around!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-HtUw5BTmjCM\/YKHzd2i4wLI\/AAAAAAAA3_M\/nD26htCUReIb_aNU-9XfYC0BLJL_0_pQACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Hammock%2Bdays.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"720\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-HtUw5BTmjCM\/YKHzd2i4wLI\/AAAAAAAA3_M\/nD26htCUReIb_aNU-9XfYC0BLJL_0_pQACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Hammock%2Bdays.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-qFJ2bjkq-jM\/YKHyS49fzbI\/AAAAAAAA3_E\/g8-qCl2Gc1YI9atlnHskWkFQYSH1-24hgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Family%2Bselfie%2Bwith%2BTom.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-qFJ2bjkq-jM\/YKHyS49fzbI\/AAAAAAAA3_E\/g8-qCl2Gc1YI9atlnHskWkFQYSH1-24hgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Family%2Bselfie%2Bwith%2BTom.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci style=\"font-weight: 700;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/2079682662893310974\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/05\/a-really-good-day.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/2079682662893310974"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/2079682662893310974"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/05\/a-really-good-day.html","title":"A really good day"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-FhSn_oVsAvE\/YKHlUVl8EPI\/AAAAAAAA39Q\/FKnxkjWr-A8wW1AnJxExuRoPoBq9XmkEgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Matching%2521.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-2724416147965558716"},"published":{"$t":"2021-05-08T16:39:00.002-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-05-08T16:39:17.086-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"confidence"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"health"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"The power of walking tall"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-kjaBnTCJ_4I\/YJbXZMAJrlI\/AAAAAAAA38g\/Exsfm8PL4mE1nRpuC_jV5EYZKJTDUK1OACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/183133596_10159110684657534_2907550981463733419_n.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"979\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-kjaBnTCJ_4I\/YJbXZMAJrlI\/AAAAAAAA38g\/Exsfm8PL4mE1nRpuC_jV5EYZKJTDUK1OACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/183133596_10159110684657534_2907550981463733419_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe other day I x-rayed an elderly gentleman. I briefly glanced at his name when I called him in, and then asked him his birthday, as is our protocol. \"February 3, 1927.\" I double-checked the requisition to confirm before his words fully sank in. I looked up at him, surprised.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"Wow, really?\" I blurted out before I could help it. \"You look decades younger!\"\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHe did. On closer inspection I noticed various signs of his age: the hearing aids, the wrinkled face, the loose-fitting clothes that must have been bought when he was still more filled out and stronger.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut as he had walked up towards me, albeit slowly, his upright posture had fooled me into assuming he was a much younger man.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMy husband has a beautifully erect posture as well. It was one of the first things I noticed about him when I first met him almost 19 (!) years ago. He has never lost it, which makes him look a lot younger than his 66 years.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut appearing younger isn't the only benefit of walking tall. It also makes you look confident, self-assured and in control. You're probably sitting down right now, reading this article, and if you're like me, you're bent over. (I'm slouched over with my shoulders around my ears as I'm typing these words right \u003Ci\u003Enow.\u003C\/i\u003E) Let's try something together: straighten your back, pull your shoulders back and down, and lift your head. How do you feel? Taller, more powerful and more positive? Me, too!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhen we have a bad day, or a bad season in life where we feel overwhelmed, insecure, and full of doubt, our\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/02\/the-heaviness-of-being-witness-of-worst.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Epain and baggage\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;will physically and mentally make us small. We crawl into ourselves by rolling up in a ball on the bed, or by drooping, or by pulling our head between our shoulders in a subconscious attempt to retreat into ourselves like a turtle into her shell.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe advice to put our \"chin up\" is actually less annoying and more useful than it may appear.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBy simply pulling ourselves up and standing a little bit taller we not only \u003Ci\u003Eappear\u003C\/i\u003E more confident, we will start feeling it! Our body-mind connection is so strong that the mere act of our bodies pretending to feel good will have our minds follow suit.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-gWryuIpjcCA\/YJbw8AMv8zI\/AAAAAAAA38o\/hXs8EsTBNG8trlAF-t6eUunqkj5txVxggCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Dancer%2Bpose.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"599\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-gWryuIpjcCA\/YJbw8AMv8zI\/AAAAAAAA38o\/hXs8EsTBNG8trlAF-t6eUunqkj5txVxggCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Dancer%2Bpose.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut what to do when your mind \u003Ci\u003Eand \u003C\/i\u003Ebody are both feeling weak? You seek help. My husband and I are both big believers in letting experts help us in areas where we don't have the expertise. We get our teeth checked twice a year at the dentist, have a mechanic take care of all our automotive needs (neither of us is into cars, apart from driving them), I saw a therapist last year when my mental health needed help, and Rich went to an acupuncturist to help him with some chronic pain.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIf you physically have difficulties standing up straight because of problems with your feet, you may need to visit a\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/cwgfootcare.ca\/services\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Epedorthist\u003C\/a\u003E. They can help you re-balance your feet to distribute the weight more evenly. Our cars need regular tune-ups, why shouldn't we?\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWalking tall is not something that has come naturally to me. I was a very shy kid and an awkward teenager, and my first instinct was to hide. If I couldn't hide behind my mother or an object, I retreated into myself. Being an avid reader also doesn't help in the posture department, since slouching and reading go together like peanut butter and jam.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut the good news is, you can learn. You can program your body to unlearn bad habits and learn how to straighten up and face the world with your head held high and your spine straight.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ENot only will you feel so much better about yourself, you will also exude confidence and have other people respect you more.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-4KRAREF5GyE\/YJcBWeaLjAI\/AAAAAAAA384\/y6gwisbJ1EM5Q5jqYdeAiI3Odz5v1ZT4wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Lily.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-4KRAREF5GyE\/YJcBWeaLjAI\/AAAAAAAA384\/y6gwisbJ1EM5Q5jqYdeAiI3Odz5v1ZT4wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Lily.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EThis girl has never had a problem walking tall! She may be short in legs, but she's \u003C\/i\u003Enot\u003Ci\u003E short in attitude\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhat if you're not there yet? Fake it till you make it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've never been a fan of the phrase \"fake it till you make it\", but it's the wording and not the message that I have an issue with (I'm not a fan of faking anything). The message of \u003Cb\u003Eacting like you already have what you want\u003C\/b\u003E is actually very powerful.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIn German we say \"head up, chest out and belly in\", and that sums it up in a nutshell. Start with the posture, and the rest will follow.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIf you act more confident, you will feel more confident. And other people will perceive you as more confident, which is an important asset to have.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOn the flip side, if you look scared and insecure, you will be treated accordingly. You won't be considered for promotions or leadership roles as much as your more confident peers, and can even been regarded as less competent, no matter how good you are at our work.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOur body language is an important tool of communication. Much of our\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.singleparents.org.uk\/8-assertive-body-language\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ebody language is passive\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;and happens without us being aware\u0026nbsp; of it, and yet it tells the world what sort of person we are. If you can learn to control this, you can change how people see you - and the world opens up to you with endless possibilities.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-zvInZSs4swA\/YJcgUk_tW2I\/AAAAAAAA39A\/3JyWgEUo4Cc4WLY6p3i_JNS035WOuhl3ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Ashcroft.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"608\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-zvInZSs4swA\/YJcgUk_tW2I\/AAAAAAAA39A\/3JyWgEUo4Cc4WLY6p3i_JNS035WOuhl3ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Ashcroft.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EPractice, and it will come - this is one of the sayings of my yoga teacher\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/user\/KinoYoga\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EKino MacGregor\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;and a beautiful philosophy to live by.\u0026nbsp;Every time you catch yourself pulling your shoulders up or slouching, remind yourself to put your head up, chest out and belly in. Your body will start to remember and do it automatically, and you will feel stronger, happier and more self-possessed.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOne day you may even be mistaken for someone 20 or 30 years younger! Such is the power of walking tall.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/2724416147965558716\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/05\/the-power-of-walking-tall.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/2724416147965558716"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/2724416147965558716"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/05\/the-power-of-walking-tall.html","title":"The power of walking tall"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-kjaBnTCJ_4I\/YJbXZMAJrlI\/AAAAAAAA38g\/Exsfm8PL4mE1nRpuC_jV5EYZKJTDUK1OACLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/183133596_10159110684657534_2907550981463733419_n.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-7230624410642901103"},"published":{"$t":"2021-04-26T20:42:00.009-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-04-26T20:51:05.003-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"farmlife"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"happiness"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"is this real life?"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Don't settle"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-SK53_Q8CnyQ\/YIdtWcYgQVI\/AAAAAAAA36w\/tHT_8o7uBVkIjjTeJHx-XVjKeFo1avjIgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Cowboy%2Bcountry.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-SK53_Q8CnyQ\/YIdtWcYgQVI\/AAAAAAAA36w\/tHT_8o7uBVkIjjTeJHx-XVjKeFo1avjIgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Cowboy%2Bcountry.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOn my way home from work today I pass a large pasture with several hundreds head of cattle. I've been watching the herd grow over the last several weeks, even seeing a calf born one morning as I was driving by, so mesmerized I almost ended up in the ditch.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EA cowboy is riding amongst them, herding a stray calf, his dog following close by. Another cowboy is several hundred feet behind them in an easy trot, surveying the herd.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAbove us all is this incredibly blue, wide sky, dotted with fluffy white clouds.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's a sky I only heard about in stories when I was a kid. The sky I grew up with was mostly grey, low, and forbidding. It felt like it may fall on your head one day. It caged you in.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI dreamed of a sky that represented freedom. A sky so large and never-ending, it had nothing but wild nature, animals, and free people underneath it. I wanted nothing more than to experience that sky one day.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd now I do, every single day.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-i-Zt1YFJp4o\/YIdwtoVfItI\/AAAAAAAA364\/mkZv07DmjEgO7ukZuw-8HMPUIpGqO9E8wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Spring%2Bblossoms.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-i-Zt1YFJp4o\/YIdwtoVfItI\/AAAAAAAA364\/mkZv07DmjEgO7ukZuw-8HMPUIpGqO9E8wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Spring%2Bblossoms.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhen I pull into the driveway at home, the dogs run up to greet me, tails wagging, small clouds of dust rising into the air behind them. I stop the car, leap out and crouch down to greet them. It's been 3 days since we've seen each other, it warrants a proper welcome.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIn the house, Rich proudly shows me the 3 \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.ca\/pin\/51932201925832354\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ebaby button quails\u003C\/a\u003E that hatched over the weekend in the small incubator we keep on the counter in the kitchen. They promptly escape (these little popcorn quails are \u003Ci\u003Efast\u003C\/i\u003E), and it takes us a minute to catch them. Once they are safely back in the incubator, we beam at each other and hug tight. \u003Cb\u003E\u003Ci\u003EIt's good to be home.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; font-weight: bold; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-eKNnBzqfMVo\/YId2Fa-j2pI\/AAAAAAAA37A\/JONo3doNmGoHuC4WyZUacsf3mUO5MgVEgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1397\/Happy%2Bto%2Bbe%2Bhome.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1397\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-eKNnBzqfMVo\/YId2Fa-j2pI\/AAAAAAAA37A\/JONo3doNmGoHuC4WyZUacsf3mUO5MgVEgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Happy%2Bto%2Bbe%2Bhome.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThere's a fine layer of dust in the kitchen, a present from the desert since I leave the door open all the time. Everybody who visits us tells me to shut the door, but I love having it wide open: to let the wind, warm air, dogs, the odd chicken, and most of all, \u003Ci\u003Efreedom\u003C\/i\u003E come right in. I've felt caged in for the first 22 years of my life; if a bit of dust is the price I pay for feeling free, I pay it gladly.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm away from home every second weekend. Last weekend I yoga-ed every day, wrote, read, worked, and walked \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/COIb_fWjrQV\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eunderneath that glorious blue sky\u003C\/a\u003E, accompanied by hawks and children's laughter, warm sun and a mild breeze. I met new people and learnt new things about the medical field I love so much.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThis life of mine is weird in the eyes of many. They tell me that it must be hard to drive that far, be away that much, to work shifts, and to have so much work at home.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhat they don't realize is that the life I live now? \u003Cb\u003EIt's what I never even dared dream about.\u003C\/b\u003E It's\u0026nbsp;\u003Ci\u003Eso much\u003Cb\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003Emore fulfilling, rewarding, and happy than I ever imagined possible.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI never wanted a conventional life. I was born to very conventional people who were afraid to step even the tiniest bit outside the line. It was suffocating.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI love having a small incubator on our kitchen counter that hatches tiny quails.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI love having the odd chicken wander into the kitchen because the door is wide open.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI love meeting the most interesting people in the most unlikely places: like the tiny nurses' kitchen in a rural hospital in a small town. I've met more people who have worked all over the world in those small town, cramped back rooms tucked behind the ER, than I ever did in the city.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EPeople who have worked in Africa, all over the States, all over Canada, and countless other places. People who are working in the roughest parts of the city to help addicts and the ones who have the least support.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EPeople who have seen so much of humanity that they are the kindest, wisest, and most non-judgemental people you'll ever meet.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-v1fndRRm5oQ\/YIeHENexOKI\/AAAAAAAA37c\/I1nL7kEr0uEyoR9s3XI1c96BBBaQHukygCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Cherry%2Bblossoms%2B1.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-v1fndRRm5oQ\/YIeHENexOKI\/AAAAAAAA37c\/I1nL7kEr0uEyoR9s3XI1c96BBBaQHukygCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Cherry%2Bblossoms%2B1.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EI got here by accident - \u003Cb\u003Ebut also not.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI couldn't foresee where I would end up - none of us can. We don't know if the sum of our decisions will lead us to a satisfying life. But as scary as this may sound, the reassuring news is this: if you aren't there yet, you just keep going.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EWhere you are now doesn't feel right? Say no to it and choose something else.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EJust keep going.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThat's all any of us can do. Nobody has their life's path mapped out for them. In fact, the ones who do are the ones most likely to be sorely disappointed somewhere along the way.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHow can anybody know their entire life 50, 60 years in advance? Nobody can. It's a system that's doomed to fail.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYet, so many of us were raised with the pressure to find a job we would work for the rest of our lives at 16, to find a partner at 20, to live with for the rest of our 60 or 70+ years. Insane, right?\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EObviously, everybody \"fails\" at this. Who in the hell knows what they want in their teens or their twenties? Or thirties, for that matter? Nobody does.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-mYJ13NFEH6o\/YIeG2Kchj7I\/AAAAAAAA37U\/S3XO36jL32ERaTJC6j4NT4b9tRE2ifLbQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s818\/My%2Bpack%2B2%2Bedited.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"415\" data-original-width=\"818\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-mYJ13NFEH6o\/YIeG2Kchj7I\/AAAAAAAA37U\/S3XO36jL32ERaTJC6j4NT4b9tRE2ifLbQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/My%2Bpack%2B2%2Bedited.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo, you just keep going. You don't settle. You keep going, until one day? You will find your own dusty, strange, flawed version of the life you once dreamed about. It won't look like your dream version, because reality isn't perfect. But it will contain enough moments that take your breath away, that make you laugh out loud, that make you almost drive into the ditch because you can't look away from the magic of it, that you know - this is as good as it gets. This is *your* happily ever after.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's filled with dirty dishes, annoyances, extra work on weekends and too many people you don't care for, but also: endless blue skies with cowboys riding below it. New friends you explore the beautiful mountains with. Precious conversations that change your outlook on life. Horses that rub their heads on you affectionately when you come home. Dogs sleeping in your bed. Impromptu parties on your porch.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EGuys you know you can call in the middle of the night and they will come to help you.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EKeep going until you can look at your life and feel everything: grateful, fulfilled, joyful, but also annoyed, overwhelmed, and fed up. Don't stop until you feel fully ALIVE.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EDon't settle.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/7230624410642901103\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/04\/dont-settle.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/7230624410642901103"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/7230624410642901103"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/04\/dont-settle.html","title":"Don't settle"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-SK53_Q8CnyQ\/YIdtWcYgQVI\/AAAAAAAA36w\/tHT_8o7uBVkIjjTeJHx-XVjKeFo1avjIgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Cowboy%2Bcountry.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-8101874069589865535"},"published":{"$t":"2021-04-25T15:54:00.002-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-04-25T15:59:08.755-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"aging"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"strong women"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"40 things every woman over 40 should have"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-KEUW7l70oMA\/YIXyUBOwwZI\/AAAAAAAA36o\/vF4W2vFUH18EQ2MrgjCjGqSn-OiFfnddQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/B%2526W.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"626\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-KEUW7l70oMA\/YIXyUBOwwZI\/AAAAAAAA36o\/vF4W2vFUH18EQ2MrgjCjGqSn-OiFfnddQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/B%2526W.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E1. A history.\u003C\/b\u003E You've made a few mistakes, got knocked down a few times, yet here you are, wiser and stronger than before!\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E2. A sense of yourself.\u003C\/b\u003E You are on your way of knowing exactly who you are.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E3. A few grey hairs, wrinkles, scars and bumps.\u003C\/b\u003E They tell the story of a life well lived.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E4. A bank account in your own name.\u003C\/b\u003E It's yours and nobody else's.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E5. A plan for retirement. \u003C\/b\u003EYou are paying into a pension plan, because you know that life is long and you won't work forever. Don't rely on someone else to take care of you; make sure you can fend for yourself.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E6. A go-to recipe that's a crowd pleaser.\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E7. An exercise routine you love. \u003C\/b\u003EHealthy body=healthy mind.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E8. A quiet place you can go to when you need to think or hide from the world for a while.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E9. Spare sheets and a spare toothbrush in case unexpected visitors drop in and stay the night.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E10. A drawing from a child - it doesn't need to be your own child\u003C\/b\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-AMS7KvnnrFM\/YIWx9c9mFRI\/AAAAAAAA36I\/b6WBqedjZ0ggzBg4bfQ6KvUmgZc1cLb-QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Cherry%2Bblossoms%2Bpink.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"519\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-AMS7KvnnrFM\/YIWx9c9mFRI\/AAAAAAAA36I\/b6WBqedjZ0ggzBg4bfQ6KvUmgZc1cLb-QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Cherry%2Bblossoms%2Bpink.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E11. Self-respect.\u003C\/b\u003E Don't let anybody treat you poorly or with disrespect - that includes yourself.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E12. Someone you love with all your heart.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E13. Forgiveness for your parents' mistakes.\u003C\/b\u003E They did the best they could at the time.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E14. The ability to cut your own hair. \u003C\/b\u003EGiving yourself a trim is easier than you think and will tide you over if you can't (or don't want to) go to the salon.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E15. A hobby you love. \u003C\/b\u003ESomething you do just for fun, not for money.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E16. Something or someone who makes you smile every day. \u003C\/b\u003E(DOGS.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-IyHV64zoQtc\/YIWzUVaoQDI\/AAAAAAAA36Q\/LxPqo3RWT9MmjmjRjov0MI_VGaWKOV9IgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s840\/Dogs.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"455\" data-original-width=\"840\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-IyHV64zoQtc\/YIWzUVaoQDI\/AAAAAAAA36Q\/LxPqo3RWT9MmjmjRjov0MI_VGaWKOV9IgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Dogs.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E17. A dream that's big and wild and that scares you.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E18. Enjoyment of solitude.\u003C\/b\u003E Love your own company; nobody will spend more time with you than yourself.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E19. An outfit that makes you feel like you can conquer the world.\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E20. A favourite book that you read over and over again.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E21.\u0026nbsp; A piece of furniture\/dishes\/glassware\/ you love that you bought with your own money.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Ea_fNfu8K7E\/YIW0sQNcSVI\/AAAAAAAA36Y\/NkhfQzMZF6MraRAtmJPiY0T1VrnpAiRSQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Red%2Bcouch.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"994\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Ea_fNfu8K7E\/YIW0sQNcSVI\/AAAAAAAA36Y\/NkhfQzMZF6MraRAtmJPiY0T1VrnpAiRSQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Red%2Bcouch.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E22. Your personal style. \u003C\/b\u003EFashion is fun, but style is personal and unique.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E23. Someone you can call in the middle of the night if you need to talk or cry.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E24. A few heartbreaks. \u003C\/b\u003EIf you haven't had your heart broken at least once or twice, you haven't lived fully.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E25. A former boyfriend you still think fondly of, and one who makes you glad you moved on.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E26. The courage to try things you've never done before.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E27. Fearlessness in interior decorating!\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E28. An accomplishment that's all yours. \u003C\/b\u003ESomething that has nothing to do with your partner or kids or friends, but that you did all by yourself.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E29. A few juicy stories. \u003C\/b\u003EYou wanna be able to\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2016\/01\/dont-live-same-year-75-times-and-call.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Esit in your rocking chair\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;in 30 years and have a few wild, embarrassing, crazy stories to tell. If you don't have any yet, start making them!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-3Re-roeErDQ\/YIW-Hob3MQI\/AAAAAAAA36g\/GUmk67WxMiQJBiwgQkWN9rS_U1tA0Wl1wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Cherry%2Bblossoms%2Bwhite.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-3Re-roeErDQ\/YIW-Hob3MQI\/AAAAAAAA36g\/GUmk67WxMiQJBiwgQkWN9rS_U1tA0Wl1wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Cherry%2Bblossoms%2Bwhite.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E30. Tried-and-true tools in your beauty routine.\u003C\/b\u003E For me they are: a \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.ca\/Revlon-Wet-dry-foot-file\/dp\/B01FIL51TA\/ref=sr_1_5?crid=3Q5PZPN1Q3YB5\u0026amp;dchild=1\u0026amp;keywords=foot+file+revlon\u0026amp;qid=1619376030\u0026amp;sprefix=foot+file+revlon%2Caps%2C231\u0026amp;sr=8-5\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Efoot file \u003C\/a\u003Eto turn my hooves into soft feet, a daily moisturizing routine, and a relaxed attitude about cellulite, lumps and bumps. They are \u003Ci\u003Enormal\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E31. Peace with your body. \u003C\/b\u003EStop the war and embrace what you have.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E32.\u0026nbsp; An outrageous pair of shoes.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E33. A comeback for rude\/insensitive comments. \u003C\/b\u003ESomething that puts them in their place without you getting defensive.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E34. People you look up to.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E35. Regular dental and health check-ups.\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E36. An appreciation for interesting, quirky and unusual things, places and people.\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E37. A to-do list that never gets checked off completely.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E38. The ability to say NO without explaining yourself.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E39. A handmade gift from someone who's special.\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E40. Photos preserving your memories.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/8101874069589865535\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/04\/40-things-every-woman-over-40-should.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/8101874069589865535"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/8101874069589865535"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/04\/40-things-every-woman-over-40-should.html","title":"40 things every woman over 40 should have"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-KEUW7l70oMA\/YIXyUBOwwZI\/AAAAAAAA36o\/vF4W2vFUH18EQ2MrgjCjGqSn-OiFfnddQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/B%2526W.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-7129102055877564195"},"published":{"$t":"2021-04-11T09:34:00.009-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-04-11T09:41:23.619-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"lifestyle choices"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"mental health"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Taming my inner monkey"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-4jidhc8Pbjk\/YHMJbEAydsI\/AAAAAAAA348\/hfcaIdZawp8io1aTGZzT62NndYsR5ETbQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/172264057_10159043825292534_6992724702930429497_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"924\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-4jidhc8Pbjk\/YHMJbEAydsI\/AAAAAAAA348\/hfcaIdZawp8io1aTGZzT62NndYsR5ETbQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/172264057_10159043825292534_6992724702930429497_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EDo you ever feel like the universe is trying to tell you something? That it keeps sending you signs, and all you have to do is listen to them and open up?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThat's been happening to me lately.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt all started with a conversation I had with Rich. \"On a scale from 1-10, how happy are you right now?\" I asked him. (I ask stuff like that a lot. One of the many joys of being married to me.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHe thought for a moment, and then replied: \"An 8.\" A solid answer I could have predicted. He was giving me 8-vibes.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"What are you?\" he then asked me. \"A 7? 6?\" When I didn't answer, he continued, a bit anxiously: \"A 4?\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"I don't know,\" I admitted. \"Not a 4, not at all. At least a 7. I think?\" We talked a bit more about it and then moved on to something else. But I couldn't stop thinking about that question. Why couldn't I say how happy I was? What could possibly be wrong with my life? I have so much: love, health, a job I enjoy, no financial problems, no body image issues, all the pets my heart desired. Why wasn't I a 10 all the time?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-mp-5WcHdfhs\/YHMRdyMwDLI\/AAAAAAAA35E\/pJmRoSr_ooUyQfnSN-oqNU14AHvgHiCHwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Petey.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"960\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-mp-5WcHdfhs\/YHMRdyMwDLI\/AAAAAAAA35E\/pJmRoSr_ooUyQfnSN-oqNU14AHvgHiCHwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Petey.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe answer came to me almost at once: my \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/ca\/blog\/the-empowerment-diary\/201709\/calming-the-monkey-mind#:~:text=According%20to%20Buddhist%20principles%2C%20the,unsettled%2C%20restless%2C%20or%20confused.\u0026amp;text=It%20is%20also%20the%20part,shut%20down%20the%20monkey%20mind.\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Emonkey mind\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;was to blame.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMonkey mind is a Buddhist term that refers to a restless, unsettled mind. It's that\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2016\/07\/the-voice-in-my-head-is-asshole.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Einner voice I've been writing about for years\u003C\/a\u003E, your inner critic, sower of doubts and repeater of ever last bad thing you have ever thought about yourself. Unfortunately for me, my monkey mind is very developed: it has a knack of ruining a perfectly good time.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E'Oh, you think everything is going great? How could you forget the patient who died after your x-ray was part of their cancer diagnosis? You or any one of the people you love could be next.'\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E'You think people like you? They are talking shit about you behind your back.'\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E'Remember how you thought you were living your dream? Now that you have been here a while you have to realize that everybody is out to get you. Dream come true, my ass.'\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E'You think you're financially secure? It could all be gone in a snap. Don't ever feel safe.'\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E'You want to see your family? COVID WILL NEVER END, MUHAHAHA.'\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd on and on it goes. It never stops.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm not always aware of my monkey mind. In fact, most of the time I'm not. I take these thoughts seriously, giving them way too much time, energy and importance. Instead of focusing on what's real and good, my overactive imagination is running wild, imaging terrible scenarios, worrying about the future and spoiling the present.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-UyenimWiXqY\/YHMZJiddwJI\/AAAAAAAA35M\/yOB-sU2NijoBm22QDJF9SklDgz15K9DlgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Teddy.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"960\" data-original-width=\"959\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-UyenimWiXqY\/YHMZJiddwJI\/AAAAAAAA35M\/yOB-sU2NijoBm22QDJF9SklDgz15K9DlgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Teddy.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMy overthinking is nothing new. I've been this way for as long as I can remember, and I've been trying to change that for a long time. I found out about the monkey mind and how to tame it 5 years ago, but somehow, along the way, I forgot about it again.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThat's where the signs I've been receiving come in.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe first one was this video that my friend \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/belovelive.com\/belovelive-intro\/hello\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ELiz\u003C\/a\u003E shared on Instagram:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https:\/\/www.blogger.com\/video.g?token=AD6v5dzUWrrYxV1rvvbEVn6UpuFFYjAmNDq8NXZWk-xsnl1JHxWPRtNp971BHkOtfHDuDakTdIObHmSSHOI3ix1qnA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/moonbox.co\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: x-small;\"\u003Esource\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EThe M-word, but make it fun.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe second sign was the latest newsletter from\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/briannawiest\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBrianna Wiest\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;which is about letting go. It's so good and helpful and important! If you have a few minutes, sit back comfortably, read slowly and soak it all in:\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/mailchi.mp\/71acdcd056bf\/your-breakthrough-is-coming-1625480?e=1c2711479c\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ELetting go is a practice.\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EA few of my favourite quotes from it are:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\"We have to learn to let go of acquaintances, care for others' opinions, so many petty arguments and fights we can choose not to pick.\"\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\"We have to learn to let go of the dreams we chose for the people we eventually outgrew.\"\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\"We have made the process of letting go seem like this superhuman feat only attainable for the truly enlightened. We find so many ways around it. Revenge bodies, gaining closure, proving them wrong. We find so many ways to at once make it seem as though we have moved on completely, and yet remain precisely where we used to be - living though the gaze of what we imagine someone else might see.\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003ELetting go is as effortless as an exhale.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003EYou do it all the time.\"\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThen there was this by \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/emilyonlife\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EEmily McDowell\u003C\/a\u003E, one of my favourites on Instagram:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/--rMGZl_mRVA\/YHMes0fRt8I\/AAAAAAAA35U\/5lHti-3VnkEGMGFW7dSm1_3M1OjKdlZkACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/170092871_477356900069491_6669539879802597707_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/--rMGZl_mRVA\/YHMes0fRt8I\/AAAAAAAA35U\/5lHti-3VnkEGMGFW7dSm1_3M1OjKdlZkACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/170092871_477356900069491_6669539879802597707_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/CKhvlsbAKV6\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EThis post\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;by Kaylor Betts that begins with words taken straight from my soul:\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\"You know what can really fuck us up?\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EThinking.\"\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAmen.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd, of course, my\u0026nbsp;word of the year\u0026nbsp;and the solution to tame the monkey mind:\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/01\/how-mindfulness-set-me-free.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Emindfulness\u003C\/a\u003E. All these nudges finally hit home yesterday. It was as if a light went on after sitting in the dark for months.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI suddenly remembered that \u003Ci\u003EI\u003C\/i\u003E have the power to quiet down my inner critic! I've had it all along. There are tools to calm down your mind, to focus on the present and stop looking for the next disaster around every corner.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWalking, yoga, fresh food, water, enough sleep, rest, sunshine, fresh air and gratitude are tools I'm using already.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut a really important one is still missing: meditation.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've tried it in the past, but always gave up. 'It's not for me,' I told myself. 'I meditate while I'm outside.'\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWell, that's clearly not enough. My mind is crazier and busier than ever, despite having no reason for it, so I'm calling in the big guns: sit-down meditation.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI know I need help with it, so yesterday I downloaded the \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.headspace.com\/?gclid=CjwKCAjwvMqDBhB8EiwA2iSmPCakyiCJnnQb73UWqeWrZXrOoB6JQ-gm_Ramskg-zW5zFnaaL3QpBxoCjkgQAvD_BwE\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EHeadspace app\u003C\/a\u003E for guided meditation. I did 5 minutes yesterday, just to dip my toes back into the water, and I loved it! I felt calm and at peace.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo much so that I did 28 minutes this morning! Granted, I was still lying in bed, but normally I would have been scrolling through Instagram during that time, and even though my thoughts were all over the place, my meditation guide said that it's normal and nothing to worry about.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo guess what: I won't worry about it. I'll keep going, because it's a practice, and I'm tired of my inner mean girl being the boss of me. The universe has spoken, and I'm listening!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/7129102055877564195\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/04\/taming-my-inner-monkey.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/7129102055877564195"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/7129102055877564195"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/04\/taming-my-inner-monkey.html","title":"Taming my inner monkey"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-4jidhc8Pbjk\/YHMJbEAydsI\/AAAAAAAA348\/hfcaIdZawp8io1aTGZzT62NndYsR5ETbQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/172264057_10159043825292534_6992724702930429497_n.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-3331199045723223739"},"published":{"$t":"2021-04-07T19:49:00.013-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-04-08T06:05:02.959-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DIY"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"farmlife"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life lessons"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"How to keep going when you feel like quitting"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-eFPO2T7VnrE\/YG4_x629Q6I\/AAAAAAAA33I\/fSrJaJwXT8A3ULJRup-Q94RqxWWmAc7AACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Paint%2Bcans.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"894\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-eFPO2T7VnrE\/YG4_x629Q6I\/AAAAAAAA33I\/fSrJaJwXT8A3ULJRup-Q94RqxWWmAc7AACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Paint%2Bcans.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ELast weekend was ridiculous. A paint project I thought I would be able to complete in an afternoon ended up taking four days, much swearing, some tears, and multiple trips to the paint store where the employees started to look at me with pity and concern. They keep a file on your paint choices if you want, and my file had not one or two, but \u003Ci\u003Efive\u003C\/i\u003E colours added to it over the weekend. They must have thought that I lost my mind. To top it all off, at some point there was some literal shit on those doomed walls - a story that will make sense to you in a minute, I promise.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHowever, despite feeling like quitting every day, I persevered, and in the end there were two stories of \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2017\/09\/can-we-become-one-of-successful-ones.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Esuccess\u003C\/a\u003E!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOkay, let's start at the beginning. I had a 5-day weekend ahead of me, and I thought I would use a (small) portion of it tackling a project on my list: to refresh our bathroom. I've been on a redecorating kick for a few weeks, recently adding \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/03\/easy-polka-dot-wall-diy.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ea statement wall\u003C\/a\u003E and a reading nook to my bedroom.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-rtUpoxJXIqU\/YG5Ba-SXxCI\/AAAAAAAA33Q\/xTuecMgI3y4Tuee2PC4pjjFmrfcA8BvogCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Reading%2Bnook%2Bwith%2BMartha.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-rtUpoxJXIqU\/YG5Ba-SXxCI\/AAAAAAAA33Q\/xTuecMgI3y4Tuee2PC4pjjFmrfcA8BvogCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Reading%2Bnook%2Bwith%2BMartha.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EFor the long weekend I had something special in mind: transform our turquoise bathroom into a magical sunrise. I found the inspiration for it on - where else? - \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bhg.com\/decorating\/paint\/decorative-painting\/how-to-paint-a-sunset-inspired-wall-treatment\/?utm_source=pinterest.com\u0026amp;utm_medium=social\u0026amp;utm_campaign=social-share-article\u0026amp;utm_content=20210323\u0026amp;utm_term=11670\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E. Here is the colour before:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-F-NHdrhFqqI\/YG5HlrftYcI\/AAAAAAAA33g\/LxkWFsgMbIg0ZmN1Ne3Yt0jPh5lqU5_WQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1200\/Turquoise%2Bbefore.png\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1200\" data-original-width=\"1200\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-F-NHdrhFqqI\/YG5HlrftYcI\/AAAAAAAA33g\/LxkWFsgMbIg0ZmN1Ne3Yt0jPh5lqU5_WQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Turquoise%2Bbefore.png\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EThat's a LOT of turquoise, I know. But when it comes to paint colour, I embrace a \"go-big-or-go-home\" attitude, because, why not? I love bright colours.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EBehold, the photo that started it all (it's so, \u003Ci\u003Eso\u003C\/i\u003E beautiful, I still can't get over it):\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Vdh8CJeMigM\/YG5CRzxliUI\/AAAAAAAA33Y\/zUa2cqTQIEIAADEAcv-XVwirCz2EUA4JACLcBGAsYHQ\/s733\/Ombre%2Bwall.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"733\" data-original-width=\"550\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Vdh8CJeMigM\/YG5CRzxliUI\/AAAAAAAA33Y\/zUa2cqTQIEIAADEAcv-XVwirCz2EUA4JACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Ombre%2Bwall.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bhg.com\/decorating\/paint\/decorative-painting\/how-to-paint-a-sunset-inspired-wall-treatment\/?utm_source=pinterest.com\u0026amp;utm_medium=social\u0026amp;utm_campaign=social-share-article\u0026amp;utm_content=20210323\u0026amp;utm_term=11670\" target=\"_blank\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: x-small;\"\u003Esource\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIncredible, right?? Whenever someone asks me what my favourite colour is I say \"sunset colours\", so this was a total dream come true. I'm pretty fearless when it comes to using bright colours in our home, and I was confident that I could recreate it. How hard could it be?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAs it turns out: \u003Cb\u003Every\u003C\/b\u003E.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI made several mistakes, but the first one was that I didn't pick more realistic \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.wanderlustworker.com\/7-ways-to-keep-going-even-when-you-want-to-quit\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Egoals\u003C\/a\u003E. I may have wielded a paint brush at least a dozen times over the years, but I have never done anything so ambitious. But then again, you never know until you try, right? A failed ombre wall doesn't diminish my other painting \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/lifehack.org\/articles\/productivity\/6-ways-keep-yourself-going-when-youre-almost-ready-quit.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eachievements\u003C\/a\u003E, such as the polka dot wall I did a couple of weeks ago.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut this one turned out \u003Cb\u003Ebad\u003C\/b\u003E. A total Pinterest fail.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EJudge for yourself:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-9Bv7wAqVi40\/YG5IcS0_jpI\/AAAAAAAA33o\/-wnnsrlYOtge4OKWwVtjpkBcS0x2ChYBgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1200\/Pinterest%2Bfail.png\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1200\" data-original-width=\"1200\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-9Bv7wAqVi40\/YG5IcS0_jpI\/AAAAAAAA33o\/-wnnsrlYOtge4OKWwVtjpkBcS0x2ChYBgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Pinterest%2Bfail.png\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003EIt makes me laugh now, but on the day I wasn't laughing. Everything had already taken so much longer than anticipated: the dreaded prep (which I hate) always takes at least twice as long as I plan for, and despite high hopes for one, it took two coats of primer to cover the turquoise. By that time it was late on Good Friday, and I was exhausted. However, the walls were a blank canvas of white, just waiting for the ombre magic I would unleash on them the next day. Everything was ready: I had the paint, the tools, and the motivation.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd then Penny happened.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EApril 2nd was an unusually cold and windy day. The temperature was still dropping down below zero at night, and the cold wind was relentless. We had seen in the afternoon that we had a new calf, and Rich checked on it during his evening feed.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHe found out two things: she was a girl - and her body temperature had dropped into the dangerously low level of hypothermia.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI had just finished my paint job for the day and was looking forward to a warm dinner and early night when Rich came into the house, a little calf in his arms.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"She won't survive the night outside!\" he yelled at me, followed by \"we have to warm her up, gently!\".\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-gXuXS1RLOrc\/YG5PRZsNPwI\/AAAAAAAA33w\/49f7OWYya5oT7iONJbK--ezwantWbvL1gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Penny%2Bwhen%2Bshe%2Bfirst%2Bcame%2Bin.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-gXuXS1RLOrc\/YG5PRZsNPwI\/AAAAAAAA33w\/49f7OWYya5oT7iONJbK--ezwantWbvL1gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Penny%2Bwhen%2Bshe%2Bfirst%2Bcame%2Bin.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhile I frantically started heating up clean towels in the dryer (only 10 minutes to make them warm, not hot), our friend came by with some colostrum. We didn't know how much\/if anything she had been nursing, and a night away from mom is too long without any nourishment for a newborn baby. We loaded up a small syringe and fed her little mouthfuls several times over the next few hours.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-zXnP8AZtZxY\/YG5PZ_lv0QI\/AAAAAAAA334\/BfJDyiVVrj473NGwpitZGx58_XY10VaHQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Penny%2Bin%2Btowels.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-zXnP8AZtZxY\/YG5PZ_lv0QI\/AAAAAAAA334\/BfJDyiVVrj473NGwpitZGx58_XY10VaHQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Penny%2Bin%2Btowels.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-yDj7YEcSo5A\/YG5PkXa5z3I\/AAAAAAAA34A\/Fc0zrg9UeisRCVLzTps9aLl2tU_b-AK6ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Mama%2BMiri%2Band%2Bcalf%2B2.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-yDj7YEcSo5A\/YG5PkXa5z3I\/AAAAAAAA34A\/Fc0zrg9UeisRCVLzTps9aLl2tU_b-AK6ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Mama%2BMiri%2Band%2Bcalf%2B2.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E(I know this is inappropriate, but could you take a second to appreciate those turquoise-free white walls? Thanks!)\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBecause we have heated flooring in the bathroom with textured tile that is non-slip, we decided to keep her in there for the night. I changed her towels every half hour or so when they cooled down, and despite doing that for over two hours, her nose and little feet still felt too cold to me. So I decided to spend the night with her, to keep an eye on her and also keep the warm towels coming.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI made a short video of it:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" class=\"BLOG_video_class\" height=\"266\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/CnQ8kNUqEjw\" width=\"320\" youtube-src-id=\"CnQ8kNUqEjw\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003EThe happy news is: Penny made it! Sometime in the night she convalesced fully, which translated into her\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003Ea) getting up, b) mooing loudly, and c) shitting against the just hours-old white walls. It was amazing, of course - but seriously, my white walls? Really, Penny?? You couldn't just have shat on the floor like most self-respecting house animals? (Not that she didn't do that as well. Rest assured, she did.)\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnyway. The long and short of it is: Penny is thriving and reunited with mom. She's happy, and I am happy.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAlso, most emphatically: I don't envy moms. Sleepless nights are the \u003Ci\u003Eworst\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd, as it turns out, not conducive to creating beautiful wall art.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-fM-ZP9k1qlM\/YG5SLzVe5rI\/AAAAAAAA34Q\/ftzq9gJ2UPgGGzcO6nG00mu6sTHo4vk0ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s664\/Penny%2Bnow.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"664\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-fM-ZP9k1qlM\/YG5SLzVe5rI\/AAAAAAAA34Q\/ftzq9gJ2UPgGGzcO6nG00mu6sTHo4vk0ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Penny%2Bnow.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EGetting back to my \"quick\" weekend project. We were now on day 3, with nothing to show but some shat-on, albeit whit-ish walls, and a severely under-slept (is that a word? if not, it should be) me. At this point I just wanted to get the fucking thing done and have a long, restorative nap.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou all know what happened next. In case you need a reminder, here it is:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-8r_FST6M9yM\/YG5TVkFFEZI\/AAAAAAAA34Y\/A7ERQzRKjKse-rb23A4uxSjtwhALvmfuACLcBGAsYHQ\/s724\/Ombre%2Bfail.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"724\" data-original-width=\"528\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-8r_FST6M9yM\/YG5TVkFFEZI\/AAAAAAAA34Y\/A7ERQzRKjKse-rb23A4uxSjtwhALvmfuACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Ombre%2Bfail.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ERich bravely told me that \"it wasn't that bad,\" and that he \"could live with it\". He also mentioned that it was \"better than before\", which was probably the second time I burst into tears that day.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI was so exhausted. And disappointed. And fed up with painting. I wanted nothing more than to kick the paint cans to the curb and crawl into bed.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut I knew that I would never have more time than now. Plus, the prep was done. And I really HATED those childish, badly done stripes on the wall. So I took a deep breath, ate a large bowl of Spaghetti, poured myself an even larger glass of wine - and poured all four paint cans together. How bad could it be? (I \u003Ci\u003Ehave\u003C\/i\u003E to stop using this as my life's motto, STAT.)\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt turned into an indescribable pinkish, reddish colour - nothing I would ever have chosen, but I was beyond caring. I slapped the colour on the walls in reckless abandon.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOnce that coat was done I was - not quite satisfied. So you wanna know what I did next?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI mixed some water into the orange colour, and started painting it wildly across the walls, swigging more wine and muttering to myself that it couldn't get any worse.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHere's the result of that:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-mxAO3ZVNvOw\/YG5VmXdof4I\/AAAAAAAA34g\/p5IfAKVlP4k9xAXKvXaCypIMzSc8Ln2EwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s761\/First%2Btry.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"761\" data-original-width=\"528\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-mxAO3ZVNvOw\/YG5VmXdof4I\/AAAAAAAA34g\/p5IfAKVlP4k9xAXKvXaCypIMzSc8Ln2EwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/First%2Btry.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHonestly, at this point I was more than ready to call it a day. It wasn't that bad, right? Original at least. I went to bed, not even bothering to rinse out the brushes.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut when I saw it in the bright light of the next day (day 4 of my original \"afternoon\"-project), I really didn't like it. It made our small bathroom look like a cave.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut what else to do? I had lost all confidence in my colour-choosing abilities. Rich was no help.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI did another Pinterest-search, before slamming the computer shut. After all, Pinterest had gotten me into this mess in the first place.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo I took a shower, put on some non-paint-splattered, non-calf-smelling clothes for the first time in days, and went back to the paint store.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI stood in front of the paint swatches for ages, paralyzed. I simply couldn't make a decision. Every single one of those hundreds of colours looked wrong. A very kind employee kept coming back to check on me, offering helpful advice and any help I might need. He even offered his co-worker's rich expertise, praising her years of experience in the paint business.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut I couldn't take him up on it. I was beyond any advice, planning-stage or talking about anything to do with colour.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo I went back to my roots - to something I'd done before. If you can't trust anything else, trust your instincts.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI chose a pale yellow as a base coat, to brighten up our cave-like little bathroom.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd then I bought another small jar of the bright orange I fell in love with (it's on the failed ombre-wall), because, while the ombre may have been a fail, that orange colour wasn't.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOn day 4, I did this:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Jno-kjis2c4\/YG5m-_cE78I\/AAAAAAAA34w\/zWkORc_l__Q73kdMbtbOrXX1S9ToSlt6QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1702\/Facebook%2BPersonal%2BCover.png\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"630\" data-original-width=\"1702\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Jno-kjis2c4\/YG5m-_cE78I\/AAAAAAAA34w\/zWkORc_l__Q73kdMbtbOrXX1S9ToSlt6QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Facebook%2BPersonal%2BCover.png\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EBright, original, \u003Ci\u003Eme\u003C\/i\u003E. I love it, and so does my husband. I've done a similar design in our previous home in Aldergrove, and it felt like home as soon as I finished the last brush stroke.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EIn the end, if you trust your instincts, you won't go wrong.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EWe still haven't put the bathroom together. The towel rods have to go back up, there's a new bath mat due to arrive any day, and I'm playing with the idea of adding some fake plants.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EAnd there's also the entirely different issue that my husband \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.shiply.com\/us\/pet-transport\/horse-transportation\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ereceive quotes\u003C\/a\u003E from different horse transportation outfits while I was going through my drama, because he has decided to become a horse dealer in his old age, and we have horses coming and going like central station - it's been quite the topic of marital debate over the last few months.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EBut this is a post for another day.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EThis may look like it was just a bathroom renovation story gone wrong - but it was so much more.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EThis past weekend was a lesson in humility and patience, and embracing uncertainty and unexpected changes. It was everything I didn't want, but needed.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI know I can keep going, even if I feel like quitting.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EAnd so can you.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EWe all have that strength and tenacity in us. If you need to, you \u003Ci\u003Ewill\u003C\/i\u003E find it. Trust that. Trust \u003Ci\u003Eyourself\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/3331199045723223739\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/04\/how-to-keep-going-when-you-feel-like.html#comment-form","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3331199045723223739"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3331199045723223739"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/04\/how-to-keep-going-when-you-feel-like.html","title":"How to keep going when you feel like quitting"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-eFPO2T7VnrE\/YG4_x629Q6I\/AAAAAAAA33I\/fSrJaJwXT8A3ULJRup-Q94RqxWWmAc7AACLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Paint%2Bcans.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-5346181787888667121"},"published":{"$t":"2021-03-28T17:23:00.002-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-03-28T17:30:32.363-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"anniversary"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"blogging"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"8 years of blogging"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-tRxfT0AXR_o\/YGCv0aE0snI\/AAAAAAAA3zk\/bm9jvZZcbpUmcEkCKXHhxO1mvintuCxKgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1816\/office-620817_1920%2B%25281%2529.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1197\" data-original-width=\"1816\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-tRxfT0AXR_o\/YGCv0aE0snI\/AAAAAAAA3zk\/bm9jvZZcbpUmcEkCKXHhxO1mvintuCxKgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/office-620817_1920%2B%25281%2529.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMarch 17 marked my 8-year anniversary of blogging. Crazy, right?! Aside from reading and walking, this is my longest hobby. I always said that I would keep on writing this little blog as long as it gives me joy, and it still does. I get a sense of accomplishment every time I hit 'publish', and I love looking back on old posts.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAs someone who needs to write down her thoughts to make sense of them, this blog has helped me immensely over the past 8 years. I have learnt more about myself during this time than the 33 years before I started blogging. It may seem strange that it took me so long to find my way to writing when I love and need it so much, but I used to be an all-or-nothing kinda person. I was too scared and insecure to pursue a career in writing when I was young, so I thought that if I can't make money with it, there's no point in doing it at all.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBesides, I was still hung up on the childhood roles we had been assigned: my sister was the creative, chaotic one; I was the sensible, musical one. I didn't know then that we can be more than one thing, and that we can escape the boxes we were put in.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-7Tx1N3alVm8\/YGDHNKQWFjI\/AAAAAAAA3zs\/elx3mLpkODYIBwHxywa2Gek5tD-Twp2OQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1920\/cherry-blossom-6068004_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1292\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-7Tx1N3alVm8\/YGDHNKQWFjI\/AAAAAAAA3zs\/elx3mLpkODYIBwHxywa2Gek5tD-Twp2OQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/cherry-blossom-6068004_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ELuckily I've done a full 180 since then. I left \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2013\/04\/is-life-there-to-laugh.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ethe serious German attitude I grew up with\u003C\/a\u003E behind and embraced doing things just for fun. It adds so much joy and happiness to one's life - who knew?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnyway, that's what this blog is to me: a fountain of joy, a keeper of memories, a teacher and a friend.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIn the last few years I listed the numbers of page views and followers. I decided not to do it this year because it's too boring. Who cares?\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhat I will do is share the ten most popular posts with you, mostly because it's interesting to me. Here we go!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E10.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/08\/being-in-my-40s-first-impressions.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBeing in my 40s - first impressions\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-WrnMKUGH0sE\/YGDMOtN_K4I\/AAAAAAAA3z0\/WZERmFp2jXssnq7ePa_MoH5uyIpAha4GwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Splish%2Bsplash%2Bin%2Bthe%2Bpool%2B2.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1488\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-WrnMKUGH0sE\/YGDMOtN_K4I\/AAAAAAAA3z0\/WZERmFp2jXssnq7ePa_MoH5uyIpAha4GwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Splish%2Bsplash%2Bin%2Bthe%2Bpool%2B2.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAs I'm getting older I become more and more interested in writing about aging. Not only because I find the changes our bodies and minds undergo fascinating, but mostly because society treats aging as such a terrible thing. Something that used to be celebrated and revered in most cultures - and still is in the wiser ones - is being demonized in Western culture.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe \"fight against aging\" is omnipresent: we are bombarded with filters that erase wrinkles, advertisements selling us wrinkle creams, Botox, cellulite-erasing tinctures, lasers erasing any spot, mark or sign that might tell the story of a life well lived. It's sad and unnecessary, a scam created to make lots of money.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMaking money by first creating insecurities, and then exploiting them by promising the solution to a problem that didn't even exist before they made it one is \u003Cb\u003Edisgusting\u003C\/b\u003E. The best revenge? Embrace the changes, love yourself, and give the so-called \"beauty\"-industry the middle finger.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E9.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/11\/eww-david.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EEww, David\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-WvGVi_q6zEw\/YGDQv3Dd-vI\/AAAAAAAA3z8\/pT2IZsb7hI0Qlxqh8xfe1SQsHJliKbr4ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1000\/Schitt%2527s%2BCreek.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"834\" data-original-width=\"1000\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-WvGVi_q6zEw\/YGDQv3Dd-vI\/AAAAAAAA3z8\/pT2IZsb7hI0Qlxqh8xfe1SQsHJliKbr4ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Schitt%2527s%2BCreek.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EI'm a late convert to the genius of Schitt's Creek, but I'm 100% devoted now. In fact, it has become one of my go-to happy shows I watch any time I need either a little pick-me-up, a laugh, or to feel better about the world. It's such a gem.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E8.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/06\/the-power-of-letting-go-is-yours-if-you.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EThe power of letting go is yours - if you want it\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-EOUNI44NCxc\/YGDR3bSwdaI\/AAAAAAAA30E\/E-NVa7mPB5cvEm3SUMgfJgnCdsVWfz0aQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Country%2Broads.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-EOUNI44NCxc\/YGDR3bSwdaI\/AAAAAAAA30E\/E-NVa7mPB5cvEm3SUMgfJgnCdsVWfz0aQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Country%2Broads.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI went to therapy for a few months last year and it helped me a lot to process some old shit I thought I had long since made my peace with - but hadn't. The techniques I learnt have been life-changing, and I wrote about a breakthrough I had in that post. I was completely over-the-moon excited, and reading it again just now brought a huge smile on my face! Definitely one of the best things I did for myself last year.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E7. \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/05\/the-great-exhaustion.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EThe great exhaustion\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-QbxODt7egdA\/YGEGQCb0wuI\/AAAAAAAA30M\/Km38F1slxksQXFdDt7AhgZicQ5mwJmiOQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1108\/Exhausted%2Bedited.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"761\" data-original-width=\"1108\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-QbxODt7egdA\/YGEGQCb0wuI\/AAAAAAAA30M\/Km38F1slxksQXFdDt7AhgZicQ5mwJmiOQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Exhausted%2Bedited.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EI wrote this post in May, so it's pretty self-explanatory, right? I listed some of the things that had happened in 2020 until that day in early May (remember Brexit? and Megxit?), and it was a long, exhaustive list. Almost 11 months later and things are finally looking up!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E6. \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/05\/an-act-of-kindness.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EAn act of kindness\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-2ALQOSA-44c\/YGEJ2nF27ZI\/AAAAAAAA30U\/MDWVxnFwS_Qw04ou38mXwmgHn03Yv7OIwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Mask%2Bextender.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1446\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-2ALQOSA-44c\/YGEJ2nF27ZI\/AAAAAAAA30U\/MDWVxnFwS_Qw04ou38mXwmgHn03Yv7OIwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Mask%2Bextender.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EA reader sent me 10 mask extenders after I mentioned in a post that my ears hurt after wearing a mask for 8 hours straight. You loved this act of kindness as much as I did!\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E5. \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/03\/my-body-is-changing.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EMy body is changing\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-n23z-e-IR0g\/YGEMB7foOGI\/AAAAAAAA30c\/t-ToZNh-SuM9cDi3LfMbyQL7V-MNFF7jwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Happy%2Blines%2Band%2BBluey.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"720\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-n23z-e-IR0g\/YGEMB7foOGI\/AAAAAAAA30c\/t-ToZNh-SuM9cDi3LfMbyQL7V-MNFF7jwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Happy%2Blines%2Band%2BBluey.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOne of the side-effects of aging is that our body changes. It's the most normal thing in the world, but as I mentioned before, the multi-million dollar diet industry is doing its best to convince us that these natural changes are something to be ashamed of. I want to be one of the voices taking a stand against the unhealthy obsession that our culture has with thin bodies that are not supposed to show any signs of life - no stretch marks, scars, cellulite, blemishes, fat, saggy skin, and all the other things we accumulate in a lifetime. It's impossible, unnecessary, and in many cases soul-or life-destroying. Let's stop fighting and start embracing!\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E4. \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/04\/getting-off-treadmill.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EGetting off the treadmill\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-F96ZSndBWnE\/YGEQfWta4-I\/AAAAAAAA30k\/HrEfPS43XN88EcqgY5VadfUcg-x4-ASWwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Happy%2Bselfie.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"720\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-F96ZSndBWnE\/YGEQfWta4-I\/AAAAAAAA30k\/HrEfPS43XN88EcqgY5VadfUcg-x4-ASWwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Happy%2Bselfie.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThis is one of my faaaave posts I wrote last year, and it makes me happy that you liked it, too. Very important reminder for myself, because it's a trap I seem to fall into every few months. Gah, when will I learn??? Maybe this year?\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E3. \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/05\/i-wanna-be-like-ruth-langmore.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EI wanna be like Ruth Langmore\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-i0yosSvzfCk\/YGES4Wj6cII\/AAAAAAAA30s\/38KMCwI3btks1Yi7vdxDGZyAmMvC0P73ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s646\/ozark-ruth-2.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"431\" data-original-width=\"646\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-i0yosSvzfCk\/YGES4Wj6cII\/AAAAAAAA30s\/38KMCwI3btks1Yi7vdxDGZyAmMvC0P73ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/ozark-ruth-2.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI know we've all watched more TV than ever over the last year, but do you remember \u003Ci\u003EOzark\u003C\/i\u003E? I was completely obsessed with the show, and especially with Ruth Langmore. Here's a little compilation of her best lines:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" class=\"BLOG_video_class\" height=\"266\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/ZdYDaWesCNE\" width=\"320\" youtube-src-id=\"ZdYDaWesCNE\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe fourth and final season is dropping sometime this year, and I cannot wait!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E2. \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/04\/april-is-doozy.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EApril is a doozy\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-csSEjc0pxzo\/YGEaDF8VaEI\/AAAAAAAA300\/b_EnchgjhwcUXP29xZqfAaSom4hy62ipgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1600\/sparkler-918836_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1067\" data-original-width=\"1600\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-csSEjc0pxzo\/YGEaDF8VaEI\/AAAAAAAA300\/b_EnchgjhwcUXP29xZqfAaSom4hy62ipgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/sparkler-918836_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ELast April was - well, let's not talk about it anymore. I attribute the popularity of this post to the fact that everybody was stuck at home on lockdown and that their April sucked as well?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI did manage to compile a fairly long list of stuff that was good, and I sincerely hope that this upcoming April is gonna be better. I have a feeling that it will be!\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E1. \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/04\/isnt-life-just-kick-you-in-crotch-spit.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EIsn't life just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-a9Sq5cpjU1E\/YGEb0bcjjzI\/AAAAAAAA308\/uaa-bnfTmzEmBQBsPppJ_7doQ78vU3VEACLcBGAsYHQ\/s702\/DJokarLXkAExMj5.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"395\" data-original-width=\"702\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-a9Sq5cpjU1E\/YGEb0bcjjzI\/AAAAAAAA308\/uaa-bnfTmzEmBQBsPppJ_7doQ78vU3VEACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/DJokarLXkAExMj5.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EThe most popular post of last year was this one, which proves 2 things:\u0026nbsp;\u003Cdiv\u003E1. A snappy title (especially one taken from one of the most popular sitcoms of all times) \u003Ci\u003Eworks\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E2. This post is also from April, and you guys spent as much time on your phones\/in front of your computers as I did.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EThere you have it! A random collection of posts befitting a random year. It's been weird yet fun to look back, and I know in a few years when we are living in a new normal, I will treasure all those lockdown- and Covid-posts.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EHere's to another year of blogging!\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"background-color: white;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EPrevious recaps:\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/04\/7-years-of-blogging.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003E7 years of blogging\u003C\/a\u003E,\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2019\/03\/6-years-of-blogging.html\" style=\"color: #c71818; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; text-decoration-line: none; transition: all 0.25s ease-out 0s;\" target=\"_blank\"\u003E6 years\u003C\/a\u003E,\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2018\/03\/5-years-of-blogging.html\" style=\"color: #c71818; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; text-decoration-line: none; transition: all 0.25s ease-out 0s;\" target=\"_blank\"\u003E5 years\u003C\/a\u003E,\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2017\/03\/4-years-of-blogging.html\" style=\"color: #c71818; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; text-decoration-line: none; transition: all 0.25s ease-out 0s;\" target=\"_blank\"\u003E4 years\u003C\/a\u003E,\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2016\/03\/3-years-of-blogging.html\" style=\"color: #c71818; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; text-decoration-line: none; transition: all 0.25s ease-out 0s;\" target=\"_blank\"\u003E3 years\u003C\/a\u003E,\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2015\/03\/happy-2nd-birthday-farm-girl.html\" style=\"color: #c71818; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; text-decoration-line: none; transition: all 0.25s ease-out 0s;\" target=\"_blank\"\u003E2 years\u003C\/a\u003E,\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2014\/03\/one-year-anniversary.html\" style=\"color: #c71818; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; text-decoration-line: none; transition: all 0.25s ease-out 0s;\" target=\"_blank\"\u003E1 year\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/5346181787888667121\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/03\/8-years-of-blogging.html#comment-form","title":"6 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/5346181787888667121"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/5346181787888667121"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/03\/8-years-of-blogging.html","title":"8 years of blogging"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-tRxfT0AXR_o\/YGCv0aE0snI\/AAAAAAAA3zk\/bm9jvZZcbpUmcEkCKXHhxO1mvintuCxKgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/office-620817_1920%2B%25281%2529.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"6"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-3369382344519421392"},"published":{"$t":"2021-03-21T11:46:00.007-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-03-21T11:48:07.805-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"DIY"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Easy polka dot wall DIY"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-DzE_XGmFN34\/YFd3Usmd1FI\/AAAAAAAA3yc\/5cGVpo5pYFsrgiB_xFLNTYTyV9U8ggPsQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1363\/After%2B4.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1363\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-DzE_XGmFN34\/YFd3Usmd1FI\/AAAAAAAA3yc\/5cGVpo5pYFsrgiB_xFLNTYTyV9U8ggPsQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/After%2B4.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThis morning when I woke up and opened my eyes, a \u003Ci\u003Ehuge\u003C\/i\u003E grin spread over my face. Why? Because I saw my happy polka dot wall I made yesterday!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm not exactly what you would call a DIY queen - far from it. But I've always had an affinity for painting walls, and over the years I've used pretty much every colour of the rainbow. Going white last year was quite the departure for me, especially after rocking\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2017\/03\/lost-in-confusion-of-colours.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ebright pink walls\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;for 3 years. I still love the white, but there was one wall that was very boring:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-iipa0w5yujk\/YFeJ4Ive4yI\/AAAAAAAA3yk\/KlhMW3vmcPotBn5oGH99bRgbw5o540lewCLcBGAsYHQ\/s901\/Before.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"901\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-iipa0w5yujk\/YFeJ4Ive4yI\/AAAAAAAA3yk\/KlhMW3vmcPotBn5oGH99bRgbw5o540lewCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Before.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EPretty bland.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI had toyed with the idea of doing an accent wall last year already, but couldn't make up my mind what I wanted. I chose a colour,\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.myperfectcolor.com\/paint\/416708-home-hardware-d24-4-0218-drifting-sand\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EDrifting Sand\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;from Beauti-Tone, and it has been sitting in my kitchen for 12 months.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EUntil yesterday. I was scrolling through Pinterest as I was having my morning coffee when I came across\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.ca\/pin\/101612535332805533\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ethis pin\u003C\/a\u003E. As soon as I saw it I knew: I was gonna do a polka dot wall!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-67UIBFzkqLU\/YFeLwaWMcaI\/AAAAAAAA3ys\/BMzWcWS4KnMm_ngq-s3nI_PAea9KEN-cACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Polka-dot%2Bwall.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-67UIBFzkqLU\/YFeLwaWMcaI\/AAAAAAAA3ys\/BMzWcWS4KnMm_ngq-s3nI_PAea9KEN-cACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Polka-dot%2Bwall.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI tried on a piece of paper to do the dots with a brush, but I didn't like how they turned out. Then I considered using a potato, but that also wasn't quite how I wanted it to look. A quick search on Pinterest led me to\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.ohohdeco.com\/polka-dot-wall\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ethis tutorial\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;and it worked perfectly!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's really simple: \u003Cb\u003Eall you need is a new kitchen sponge, scissors and paint.\u003C\/b\u003E I eyeballed it when I cut the circle because I didn't want it to look super-perfect.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-5GdY24KykTQ\/YFeSZSvSfmI\/AAAAAAAA3y4\/hpXs5mcMAE47WxqQp5alEQfgsNHenaFnACLcBGAsYHQ\/s846\/DIY%2Bsponge.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"474\" data-original-width=\"846\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-5GdY24KykTQ\/YFeSZSvSfmI\/AAAAAAAA3y4\/hpXs5mcMAE47WxqQp5alEQfgsNHenaFnACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/DIY%2Bsponge.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThen I dipped the sponge into the paint, removed excess paint at the rim (so it doesn't drip) and applied it to the wall with a little twist. I turned it clockwise about a quarter to distribute the paint more evenly.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHere is how it looks from a few feet away:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-zTj8UTTuNGE\/YFeSTnXyHNI\/AAAAAAAA3y0\/uFIgTIBLfD4hl9bXUn22zN3Tk4_whes1ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/After.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-zTj8UTTuNGE\/YFeSTnXyHNI\/AAAAAAAA3y0\/uFIgTIBLfD4hl9bXUn22zN3Tk4_whes1ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/After.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EAnd this is a close-up:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ysL7GIaPOJM\/YFeSilxHb_I\/AAAAAAAA3y8\/5lZT6VAmLdwi8dYTp4f0Y-uzPDWsKWwBACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Close-up%2B3.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ysL7GIaPOJM\/YFeSilxHb_I\/AAAAAAAA3y8\/5lZT6VAmLdwi8dYTp4f0Y-uzPDWsKWwBACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Close-up%2B3.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAs you can see the dots are not one solid colour, which is what I was going for. I absolutely love how it turned out!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt took me about 3 hours to complete, which is much shorter than it would have been had I chosen wallpaper.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp; \u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"1129\" src=\"https:\/\/player.vimeo.com\/video\/526918381\" title=\"vimeo-player\" width=\"640\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd voila! Just the right dose of whimsy to add some more fun to my bedroom!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/3369382344519421392\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/03\/easy-polka-dot-wall-diy.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3369382344519421392"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3369382344519421392"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/03\/easy-polka-dot-wall-diy.html","title":"Easy polka dot wall DIY"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-DzE_XGmFN34\/YFd3Usmd1FI\/AAAAAAAA3yc\/5cGVpo5pYFsrgiB_xFLNTYTyV9U8ggPsQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/After%2B4.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-903003417602495670"},"published":{"$t":"2021-03-18T21:25:00.008-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-03-18T21:55:23.876-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"depression"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"pmdd"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"How to live a happy life with depression"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-L5KSUsYzpL4\/YFLHF3tvxwI\/AAAAAAAA3xA\/KyPXzFVbfOgprMoemZrZFcDezzMyv6rBQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1280\/woman-1246844_1280.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"853\" data-original-width=\"1280\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-L5KSUsYzpL4\/YFLHF3tvxwI\/AAAAAAAA3xA\/KyPXzFVbfOgprMoemZrZFcDezzMyv6rBQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/woman-1246844_1280.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI still remember the first time. I was 18, had a boyfriend whom I loved and who loved me, a group of friends that I hung out with every weekend, enough money from my two after-school jobs to buy all the clothes my heart desired, and a waist so small that even my intensely critical teenage eye couldn't find much fault with.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut suddenly, my world had lost its colour. Things I used to look forward to didn't mean anything to me anymore. Going out on Friday nights, rollerskating with my friends, being invited to go to the coolest girl's house? Meh, who cares.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ETV shows I adored (\u003Ci\u003EFriends\u003C\/i\u003E was big in the late 90s) couldn't hold my attention. Nothing was funny. Nothing made me smile. It took almost more strength than I could muster to get out of bed in the morning. The future scared me to death: what to do after school? Where to go? Who with?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI started skipping school almost daily, taking off with the resident bad boy who smoked weed and was more often absent than present. We would drive around, or go to the lake, or start drinking at 11 in the morning. (This was Germany, and we were legal at 18).\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThere was no romance between us, no mutual attraction, not even the hint of sexual longing. What drew us together was a shared desire to get away from it all - to escape reality for a while.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-P1TaOZWuQAc\/YFPuD1DK2mI\/AAAAAAAA3xQ\/OtGy5RGnzQU5GsO0IzLI1x6IQ0nJ4j4WgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1920\/suitcase-1412996_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1281\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-P1TaOZWuQAc\/YFPuD1DK2mI\/AAAAAAAA3xQ\/OtGy5RGnzQU5GsO0IzLI1x6IQ0nJ4j4WgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/suitcase-1412996_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt came to an abrupt and unpleasant end when one of my teachers tattled to my parents about my frequent absences and all hell broke loose at home. It snapped me out of my depression (of \u003Ci\u003Ecourse\u003C\/i\u003E it was depression -\u0026nbsp; even though I wouldn't know that until 14 years later) because suddenly there was an emergency to deal with.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ETheir combined disbelief, disappointment, and pressure to figure out my future over spring break (no joke) was dramatic enough that it got my fight-or-flight-response going. We weren't addressing the why of my highly unusual behaviour (I had always been an exemplary student), but only how to fix \"the problem\", which involved me promising over and over that I would stop skiving off and making a decision\u0026nbsp;\u003Ci\u003Eright now\u003C\/i\u003E what I would do after school. Is it any wonder that \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2013\/04\/career-woes-and-solution.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ethe choice I made\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;during a time of severe mental and emotional upheaval was a poor one? Of course not.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhat happened after is well known to many of you. In case it isn't, here is the short version: I dropped out of school, moved to Canada for a man, became a stepmom of 4 at the age of 23, ran away for 6 months to Wales, returned to Canada to get married to said man, worked in retail for a while and then went back to school at 28 to become an x-ray technologist at 30.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E(The detailed version can be found here,\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/1684016452\/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i1\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ein the book I wrote about it all\u003C\/a\u003E.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI found my footing and made friends and enjoyed my job and had many small and big adventures, some losses but more wins, and I \u003Cb\u003Eloved my life\u003C\/b\u003E: my husband, the kids, our animals, where we lived, the twice-weekly sushi lunches, drinks under the willow tree, movie nights and occasional parties and walks with the dogs and reading all the books, making new friends and getting dolled up and having bonfires at home every day for 4 months straight because we could and I \u003Ci\u003Elove\u003C\/i\u003E a good fire.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Y8nb2_FnRCE\/YFPz3G-qBLI\/AAAAAAAA3xY\/UYiKSlZTMvM3xjJ6ekaV6saJCdaPkFUXACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1920\/cheers-839865_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1280\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Y8nb2_FnRCE\/YFPz3G-qBLI\/AAAAAAAA3xY\/UYiKSlZTMvM3xjJ6ekaV6saJCdaPkFUXACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/cheers-839865_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut they wouldn't stop. My \"episodes\", as I referred to them in my mind, never out loud (I tried very hard never to talk about them if I could help it), refused to go away. They didn't happen all the time: sometimes there would be months in between them, sometimes only weeks. The only thing I could be sure of was that they would return, no matter how happy I was or how well things were going.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd then, 14 years after that first bad, school-skipping-and-hanging-out-with-bad-boy episode, I had one that would change \u003Ci\u003Eeverything\u003C\/i\u003E for me.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt happened in Hawaii, of all places. If you thought you couldn't be unhappy on vacation in Hawaii, think again. It was one of the darkest times of my life. I cried every day, couldn't see any beauty, or happiness, or colour. Yes, there it was again: the colour had leaked out of my life, right there in one of the most colourful and fragrant places on earth.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2013\/04\/about-sadness.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EMy husband insisted that we seek help\u003C\/a\u003E, and my doctor at the time was \u003Ci\u003Eamazing\u003C\/i\u003E. He was kind, patient, supportive, and so very, very understanding. I will forever be grateful to him for making my first, terrifying confession of my \"condition\" so painless and positive.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-03bn__7oJjs\/YFP38oIsLjI\/AAAAAAAA3xg\/k8z5OMio-wMAzaBAQeGxhLw5N_8C1gI0wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1920\/happiness-824419_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1280\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-03bn__7oJjs\/YFP38oIsLjI\/AAAAAAAA3xg\/k8z5OMio-wMAzaBAQeGxhLw5N_8C1gI0wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/happiness-824419_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThat was in 2012. Ever since my first official diagnosis of depression, and then my secondary diagnosis of\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2019\/06\/what-is-pmdd.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPMDD\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;(premenstrual dysphoric disorder) in 2019 I have been very open about being a person with depression and PMDD. Why?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ELike many people who have a mental illness, I didn't have a positive experience when I first encountered it. The people in my life didn't address it; instead it was something we didn't talk about. They didn't ask why, or offer help, or give me unconditional love.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EInstead it was treated like a dirty secret. The only conclusion I could draw was that it was something to be ashamed of. So I was ashamed for years.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm not anymore. I lead a happy, fulfilled, quiet-but-exciting-to-me life that I love.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut I still have dark days. I still get irrationally angry, or sad, or - the worst of them all - \u003Ci\u003Elistless.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003E(That emotion when your life loses colour.) I have accepted that I always will. I don't know what exactly is wrong with my brain, but I'm not fighting it any longer. I stopped listening to the self-help gurus who promise to \"help to get rid of what 'depresses' me\". I don't pressure myself into feeling like a failure if I can't simply \"let go\" of my demons.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAll it did was make me feel like a failure even more, which is counterproductive to the healing process.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EInstead, I put together a list of everything that's helped me live - and \u003Ci\u003Ethrive\u003C\/i\u003E - despite my depression.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAre you ready? Here it is!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-pG6kMqEgdPc\/YFP9k579RKI\/AAAAAAAA3xs\/HxEfhOFqWhAIWS7YVAeTf82cGypCEJAwwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1920\/lion-3012515_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1221\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-pG6kMqEgdPc\/YFP9k579RKI\/AAAAAAAA3xs\/HxEfhOFqWhAIWS7YVAeTf82cGypCEJAwwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/lion-3012515_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cu\u003E10 steps to live a happy life with depression and PMDD:\u003C\/u\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Col\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium; font-weight: bold;\"\u003EEmbrace it.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large; font-weight: bold;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EI know, it sounds insane. But seriously, \u003Ci\u003Eif you can't beat them, join them\u003C\/i\u003E is solid advice in this situation. There isn't a dead-sure cure for mental illness yet, but there are many, \u003Ci\u003Emany\u003C\/i\u003E\u0026nbsp;techniques that can help you live a joyful, beautiful life despite mental illness. But in order to do that, you have to acknowledge it first.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003ETalk about it.\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E The worst for me was the isolation I felt. I thought I was the only one who was screwed up the same way I was, and that's a very lonely feeling. The horrible catch-22 is that because of the shame you feel, you never open up to other people, which prevents you from realizing that, far from being the only one - you are \u003Ci\u003Eone of an army\u003C\/i\u003E. That first look at all my fellow sufferers was provided to me by my GP at the time, who told me that\u003Cb\u003E one-third\u003C\/b\u003E of his patients had mental health issues. I was completely bowled over by that. \u003Cb\u003E\u003Ci\u003EWhaaat??\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003EI never knew!\u003C\/b\u003E\u0026nbsp; \u003Cb\u003EI thought I was the only broken one.\u003C\/b\u003E\u0026nbsp;It was a powerful eye-opener. Talk to anyone: a friend, therapist, co-worker, even a stranger. Just putting it out there and hearing that this is common will make a world of difference!\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EAnti-depressants can be \u003Ci\u003Elife-changing\u003C\/i\u003E.\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E I know that there will always be people who will demonize pills. \u003Cb\u003EYou don't need that negativity in your life.\u003C\/b\u003E Don't even engage with them in a discussion: they will never be open to hearing your opinion. All they want is an audience that agrees with their point of view. Bottom line: if meds work for you, \u003Ci\u003Ekeep taking them\u003C\/i\u003E. That's what they were made for. I tried to wean myself off last year, but I didn't like myself without them, so I'm back on the old dose I was given in 2012. If it works, don't knock it.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003EKrill Oil supplements.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E I added \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.healthline.com\/nutrition\/krill-oil-benefits\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ekrill oil\u003C\/a\u003E to my daily routine after a particularly rough weekend about 5 months ago. I ended up talking at length with a nurse who had a similar history, and she recommended taking krill oil. I've been taking it ever since. She explained some scientific connection between female hormones, a lack of fat in the brain and how this could affect our mental health, but I honestly can't recall it in enough detail to share it with you. All I know is this: it seems to make my antidepressants work better, I have more energy, and it has anti-inflammatory benefits. That's enough for me.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003EDaily walks.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E I've always loved going for walks; it's kinda my thing. But even though I like them, I didn't go every day. If you don't schedule it in, who does? There's work, and house work, and cooking, and relaxation time (aka Netflix), and the blog, and working on the novel, and not feeling like it, and thinking of a million excuses not to do it ... you get it. We all have a shit-ton of stuff to do every day. \u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003EBut over the past 9 years of living with my eyes wide open with depression, I've noticed that I feel all-around much better when I walk daily. They don't have to be ambitious walks: I aim for 15-30 minutes only. If it's more, good; if not, also good. The main point is that I get myself out into nature and moving every day. I make a point of scheduling it into every single day, no matter what else I have planned; it's that important to me. It makes the difference between full-on black-out mode and lesser grey-scale, but still discernible colours of my episodes.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-DvmonCm8UCg\/YFQaLKuXl_I\/AAAAAAAA3yI\/VYqYhtqciCg0BLgEaO8m5rvSjoPEi4dEACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Walking%2Bup%2Bthe%2Bmountains%2BMay%2B2018.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-DvmonCm8UCg\/YFQaLKuXl_I\/AAAAAAAA3yI\/VYqYhtqciCg0BLgEaO8m5rvSjoPEi4dEACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Walking%2Bup%2Bthe%2Bmountains%2BMay%2B2018.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EEnough sleep.\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E Everybody is grumpy when they're sleep-deprived. I never had a baby, so I know that I'm very privileged on the sleep-deprivation front - mine has been mostly due to personal choice or circumstances I can't influence. However, this is not a competition between who can survive on the least amount of sleep (I would never win that one in a million years), and all about how sleep deprivation is bad for us. Simply put: I can tell you from many years of experience that my depression thrives in a sleep-deprived environment. As a natural counterattack move, I have sworn to give her as little of that ammunition as possible. It's a no-brainer.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003ESay no when you need to.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E Just the other day I decided to stay home instead of going to a friend's (very low-key) St. Paddy's day shindig. There were several household tasks I wanted to complete, my social battery was low, and I knew that, by going, I would a) deplete that battery completely, leaving nothing for the 2 more days of work this week, and b) I wouldn't be able to check off a single item on my list. I recognized that tending to my plans at home would be more fulfilling to me this time than socializing with other people. So I chose that. \u003Cbr \/\u003ETake stock of what you need, do it, and don't apologize for it. You don't owe anyone to show up to their party; you only owe showing up for yourself.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003EBe kind to yourself. \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003EEat food you enjoy. Watch movies and shows that make you laugh. Stop referring to things that make you happy as \"guilty pleasure\". Stop censoring yourself. Stop making excuses for being who you are - you are beautiful and perfect the way you are!\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003EStop protecting the people who have hurt you.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E You don't have to publicly shame them; but you have to stop making excuses for them. It doesn't matter if they \"meant well\", or \"had your best interests at heart\", or \"didn't know any better\". These may all be arguments towards redemption; but first: STOP PROTECTING THEM. It's important that you acknowledge the hurt, pain and damage they have caused you. Without that, you won't be able to move forward.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cb\u003EFirst, you have to acknowledge it; second, you release it.\u003C\/b\u003E Without facing your demons you will never be able to free yourself from them. It's not about casting blame; it's about liberating yourself from, sometimes decades-old, shackles that have bound you. They don't serve you anymore; so break them open by letting all of that old hurt and shame go!\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003EHide when you need to. \u003C\/b\u003EMaybe we are more fragile than others. Maybe we are\u0026nbsp;just more in tune with our needs? The reason doesn't matter. If you need a little break and can arrange to have the necessities of your life taken care of,\u003Ci\u003E take the break\u003C\/i\u003E. I will always find the strength (or someone else) to feed my animals - but I'm more than happy to let everything else go for a day or a week if need be. You are not weak by resting; you are wise by listening to your body's and mind's needs.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003C\/ol\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EThere have been two or three times since my diagnosis 14 years ago when I thought\/hoped that I had \"overcome\" my depression. They proved to be false.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI have accepted that I will probably always have to deal with my dark episodes. But with the tips I shared above I've been able to live a joyful, happy, fulfilling life. Depression and PMDD are just a small part of me; they don't define me.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EIf my years working in the hospital have taught me one thing, it's this: we all have something. We all have suffering, illness and sadness in our lives, in one way or another. But we also have a choice: we can choose to focus on the dark - or the light.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI choose to focus on the brightest, most colourful rainbow there is.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003ELife in colour is \u003Ci\u003Ebeautiful\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Buv96tHutvs\/YFQnma9f36I\/AAAAAAAA3yQ\/7mI2w_T1Ex0NubwzthNhQ-3cI1J6Hm0tQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1920\/white-1342988_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1275\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Buv96tHutvs\/YFQnma9f36I\/AAAAAAAA3yQ\/7mI2w_T1Ex0NubwzthNhQ-3cI1J6Hm0tQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/white-1342988_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/903003417602495670\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/03\/how-to-live-happy-life-with-depression.html#comment-form","title":"4 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/903003417602495670"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/903003417602495670"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/03\/how-to-live-happy-life-with-depression.html","title":"How to live a happy life with depression"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-L5KSUsYzpL4\/YFLHF3tvxwI\/AAAAAAAA3xA\/KyPXzFVbfOgprMoemZrZFcDezzMyv6rBQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/woman-1246844_1280.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"4"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-7564367670701363711"},"published":{"$t":"2021-03-13T14:15:00.000-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-03-13T14:15:56.311-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"farmlife"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Ranch life is the best life"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-RZR215T0KRo\/YEz0UdjJ3LI\/AAAAAAAA3vg\/-3ZX9Kdnci09T_s9wyDT4ES0OPWQncMggCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1072\/Horseback%2Briders.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"774\" data-original-width=\"1072\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-RZR215T0KRo\/YEz0UdjJ3LI\/AAAAAAAA3vg\/-3ZX9Kdnci09T_s9wyDT4ES0OPWQncMggCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Horseback%2Briders.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've always been curious about other people's lives. When I walk in the dark I love nothing more than peeking into lit windows, getting a glimpse at the occupants and imaging their lives. I make up elaborate stories in my head about their relationships, jobs, dreams, dramas and triumphs. It's so interesting!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnother interesting fact is that I get to slip into a different kind of life every second weekend. For two weekends a month I don't live my beloved ranch life, but a completely different one. Instead of being woken up by birdsong and the cat meowing into my face, I wake up to silence. There's no dogs licking my face to wish me a good morning, no roosters crowing to greet the day, no geese chattering below the window. The only noise is the murmur of the TV in the living room where my house mate watches the morning news.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ENo horses are waiting for their morning feed. No ducks are excitedly strutting across the yard, the males preening for the females in the mating dance that has started with spring being in the air. I know I won't be finding a surprise outside like I did the other morning when a chicken came out with two chicks she hatched in the hay barn.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-e2V9wmxU9oc\/YEz4y8XvPoI\/AAAAAAAA3vo\/2qsQMQwhxlQf5QF4XduC_xf2nn9zGws7gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/96793282_1945815505563459_7185576480590528512_o.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-e2V9wmxU9oc\/YEz4y8XvPoI\/AAAAAAAA3vo\/2qsQMQwhxlQf5QF4XduC_xf2nn9zGws7gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/96793282_1945815505563459_7185576480590528512_o.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's all very orderly, quiet - and boring. Sure, it's a lot less work. I'm only responsible for myself and the hospital when they call, and other than that I can lounge in bed all day if I want.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut as it turns out, I don't want that. At least not all weekend. It's absolutely delicious to stretch out in bed Friday afternoon after work, after I have unpacked and settled in for the next 65 hours. I treat myself to some chocolate or sour candy and watch hours of Netflix in bed. It's awesome.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut when I wake up on Saturday morning I'm ready again for some action. And there isn't any.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI go for several walks on my weekends away. I stroll past the houses with their manageable yards and limited amount of pets and marvel at how different our lives are.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EDuring the winter everything has been quiet and hunkered down. I've met the odd hardy walkers who do the same rounds I do, and we nod to each other in quiet understanding. I imagine that many of them are gardeners who have been biding their time until spring when they can start working in their yards again.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-XsCNl8_l4qI\/YEz_YuNux7I\/AAAAAAAA3vw\/hyO7cjSXIe4skOdJDUleq4iSzI_Hc2fYgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Sunflower.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-XsCNl8_l4qI\/YEz_YuNux7I\/AAAAAAAA3vw\/hyO7cjSXIe4skOdJDUleq4iSzI_Hc2fYgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Sunflower.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThat time is almost upon us! It's warming up, the pussy willows are out, and I imagine that we're only a couple of weekends away from hearing the first lawn mowers spring back to life on Saturday mornings. To be honest, \u003Cb\u003EI.can't.wait\u003C\/b\u003E. It's decidedly too sedate for me around here. The best part about watching people mowing their lawns (especially in a hilly area like the one I live in) is that while they will be wrestling with their\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/kutkwick.com\/slope-mower-benefits\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Esteep slope mowers\u003C\/a\u003E, we don't have to worry about lawn maintenance at the ranch.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOur meadows are being taken care of the old-fashioned way:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-23GkWcwr0rY\/YE0CHjIh_MI\/AAAAAAAA3wE\/bhl1fIEJBl4-hbNqO7KhanjJM8VXaRaegCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/118223184_2057934194351589_3991691927791559487_o.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"654\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-23GkWcwr0rY\/YE0CHjIh_MI\/AAAAAAAA3wE\/bhl1fIEJBl4-hbNqO7KhanjJM8VXaRaegCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/118223184_2057934194351589_3991691927791559487_o.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003EThanks, horses!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI have some plans myself for our garden this year. Rich is our resident gardener because he loves doing it and he's good at it. I want to get more involved though and learn about\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/07\/farm-and-forest-get-married.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ealternative growing methods\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;as well as tackle a project I've been wanting to do for years: grow my own herb garden! I use lots of spices and herbs in my cooking, and there's something irresistibly wholesome and fairytale-like about going outside to harvest fresh herbs from your own little garden. Besides, basil, chives, mint, rosemary and lavender are supposedly natural bug and mosquito repellents, which is the best win\/win ever!\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-4xxJdC3Q6L4\/YE0JVR72OLI\/AAAAAAAA3wY\/NyCAGdLI5UwSJd5GNj1C7BXjY3JCLeK9QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1070\/High%2Bon%2Branch%2Blife.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"757\" data-original-width=\"1070\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-4xxJdC3Q6L4\/YE0JVR72OLI\/AAAAAAAA3wY\/NyCAGdLI5UwSJd5GNj1C7BXjY3JCLeK9QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/High%2Bon%2Branch%2Blife.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EBeing able to step out of your normal life is an immense privilege. There are days when I don't want to do chores, when I'm annoyed at the dirt the dogs drag in the house, or when I think that we are insane for doing so much work voluntarily.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut when I get to live that seemingly \"easy\" life with no chores, I quickly realize that I'm missing the noise, chaos and fullness of my ranch life. It's unpredictable, dusty, and never boring!\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EBeing in the unusual position of taking a step back regularly gives me a fresh appreciation of everything I have, and the unique opportunity to experience how other people live.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-QQHewPztn3Y\/YE0VUAY2b4I\/AAAAAAAA3wg\/Xi7fmR0vt3QIBwjDq6_ttZN3Zyz300O4gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1062\/Turkey%2Bconvention.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"789\" data-original-width=\"1062\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-QQHewPztn3Y\/YE0VUAY2b4I\/AAAAAAAA3wg\/Xi7fmR0vt3QIBwjDq6_ttZN3Zyz300O4gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Turkey%2Bconvention.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI find it endlessly fascinating to learn about the countless different ways we humans live life. That's why I love stories and books so much, and it's also the reason why I enjoy my job. The people I've met in my years as \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2018\/10\/x-ray-girl.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ean x-ray technologist\u003C\/a\u003E have opened my eyes and mind to all sorts of things: from learning how to\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.agriculture.com\/farm-management\/finances-accounting\/tips-for-managing-your-farm-finances\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Emanage my money well\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;over many inappropriate jokes to recognizing that\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2017\/07\/the-secret-to-happiness-live-like.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ethe secret to happiness is to live like a senior\u003C\/a\u003E. 😀\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI have no idea how long I will be in this job that keeps me away from the ranch every second weekend. But I will continue to make the best of it, to soak up this different lifestyle and appreciate it for everything it gives me - mostly the appreciation to realize how lucky I am to get to live the life we have created together.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-6icDrvNWpFM\/YE0pDiXS5II\/AAAAAAAA3wo\/ZOQGHECr8GYzcVQjL8n11Y5pyzZ3hwxKwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/She%2BShed%2Branch%2Bbliss.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"679\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-6icDrvNWpFM\/YE0pDiXS5II\/AAAAAAAA3wo\/ZOQGHECr8GYzcVQjL8n11Y5pyzZ3hwxKwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/She%2BShed%2Branch%2Bbliss.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/7564367670701363711\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/03\/ranch-life-is-best-life.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/7564367670701363711"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/7564367670701363711"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/03\/ranch-life-is-best-life.html","title":"Ranch life is the best life"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-RZR215T0KRo\/YEz0UdjJ3LI\/AAAAAAAA3vg\/-3ZX9Kdnci09T_s9wyDT4ES0OPWQncMggCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Horseback%2Briders.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-7248781610637949105"},"published":{"$t":"2021-03-08T20:33:00.003-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-03-09T06:31:45.133-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life lessons"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"rest"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"staycation"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Fully rested, at last"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Y__qVlEmDFM\/YEbQGF3OWTI\/AAAAAAAA3uw\/Mygb2fFMmy0hxlZ-Z5zWdMmqNFlsNkokQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Reading%2Bnook.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Y__qVlEmDFM\/YEbQGF3OWTI\/AAAAAAAA3uw\/Mygb2fFMmy0hxlZ-Z5zWdMmqNFlsNkokQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Reading%2Bnook.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"You're back to being the woman I know and love,\" he told me yesterday.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe were sitting in the kitchen, and I was still. I wasn't tidying, cleaning, sorting, cooking, making a list, or even petting a dog. I was simply sitting there, sipping my wine, and being fully present.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"It's been a while since I've seen you so relaxed,\" he said, clinking his glass to mine. \"I'm glad you're back.\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003ESo am I.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBeing still is one of my biggest challenges. My mind is always whirring, my feet are always moving, and I always have \"bees in my butt\", which is the charming German expression that we use for someone who can't sit still (= me).\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut even busy-bodies like me (or maybe \u003Ci\u003Eespecially\u003C\/i\u003E people like me) need times off, and this one was long overdue. After\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/02\/the-heaviness-of-being-witness-of-worst.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ea string of bad news at work\u003C\/a\u003E, my\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/02\/i-thought-i-had-covid-19.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ECovid-scare\u003C\/a\u003E, and the general exhaustion that we all share, I really needed a break.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo I embarked on a\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/02\/dreaming-of-spring-cleaning.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eone-week-early-spring-vacation\u003C\/a\u003E, which is ending tonight, and guys - it was \u003Ci\u003Eheavenly\u003C\/i\u003E. It was healing, restorative, relaxing - but it was much more than that. I \u003Ci\u003Eneeded\u003C\/i\u003E that break in a very real way. My mental health had been deteriorating for a few months, and while I gave it all the short-term cures I know - stories, walks, dogs, nature, sleep, my love - it needed a break. Simple as that.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMy body finally started to break down to wake me up, which is a solid it does me once or twice a year when I'm too stubborn or too stupid to realize that I need to peace out.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThanks, body.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-46GpysMj4Cs\/YEbVPNiKx1I\/AAAAAAAA3u4\/AnEbTXq8dfYoxmvjV4lF1TnjDAcUiaD9QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Corgi%2Bbum%2Bextraordinaire.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-46GpysMj4Cs\/YEbVPNiKx1I\/AAAAAAAA3u4\/AnEbTXq8dfYoxmvjV4lF1TnjDAcUiaD9QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Corgi%2Bbum%2Bextraordinaire.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMy week off was so simple, but so delicious. I enjoyed every minute of it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E(Also, it was no different from what it would have been without the pandemic. My life is very pandemic-friendly.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI had a long, leisurely coffee hour every morning with the dogs.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI cooked breakfast.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ELily and I went for a walk\/hike.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI cleaned our house, removed every last memory of the puppies (=shit) from our deck, did some redecorating (see the top picture? I added a reading nook to my bedroom!), and rearranged the furniture in the living room.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI read. Rich and I watched \u003Ci\u003EBehind Her Eyes\u003C\/i\u003E together. We hung out together \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/CL_B_8ZDb3E\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ein our friend's man cave\u003C\/a\u003E one night.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI cooked every night.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI finally ordered and then hung our favourite photo of him and his late mom on our gallery wall.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-98ozxcuobUA\/YEbXOI9c2dI\/AAAAAAAA3vA\/QqbE3IRLJi41ZNzqCvZu0vjIAYPNHQPDACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1276\/Mother%2Band%2Bson%2B%25282%2529.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1276\" data-original-width=\"897\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-98ozxcuobUA\/YEbXOI9c2dI\/AAAAAAAA3vA\/QqbE3IRLJi41ZNzqCvZu0vjIAYPNHQPDACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Mother%2Band%2Bson%2B%25282%2529.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe tied up a bunch of those loose threads that we all have in our lives, and that some may live easily with, but that drive me crazy: closing the old business account he hasn't used in years. Getting my long overdue oil-change done. Return all phone calls and emails that we had been avoiding. Throw out some old shit. Clean. Unpack boxes we hadn't looked at in 4 years.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt was \u003Cb\u003E\u003Ci\u003Ea-MAZING\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E. Totally medicinal. And 100% necessary.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EAlmost everybody I know is exhausted, fed up, sad, angry, empty, or close to burnout.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd I know that we can't get the vacation we dream off: the ultimate get-away off jetting off into the sunset and frolicking on a beach for a few days to leave it all behind.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut we \u003Ci\u003Ecan\u003C\/i\u003E get the much-needed break and refill of our empty batteries right here, at home.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-2N6lloPxa10\/YEbZkabZsuI\/AAAAAAAA3vM\/HNbis_CmvNMkU3pUavyQv75XDldrUlmsACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Sunday%2Bmorning%2Bvibes.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-2N6lloPxa10\/YEbZkabZsuI\/AAAAAAAA3vM\/HNbis_CmvNMkU3pUavyQv75XDldrUlmsACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Sunday%2Bmorning%2Bvibes.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EHow?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EBy thinking back on all the things we love about being on vacation, and applying them to our current situation!\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003ESleeping in? Check.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003ELeisurely breakfast? Check.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EMimosas at breakfast? Why not?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EGetting some hikes\/swimming\/exploring in? I don't know about you, but I live in an area where people go for their vacation, and I know for a fact that I haven't seen even 10% of all the sights yet. I could be a tourist in my own backyard for at least 5 vacations in a row before I've even scratched the surface.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003ESleep in the afternoon? Hell yes!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EGet day-drunk? Don't mind if I do.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EGet a mani-pedi? I did it myself this afternoon, which is not the same as being pampered, but my colourful (if smudged - I'm not an accomplished nail polisher) nails still make me happy.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've been making goals to \"not work so much\" for years now, disregarding them year after year, caving to the pressure of society and the old demons of my childhood that whisper in my ear that I'm only worthy if I work hard.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EThis week was a revelation. I enjoyed my home, where I live, and who I live with so much. I always appreciate them, but this week showed me anew how much enjoyment I get out if it - and them.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI don't need time away from it all. I need \u003Ci\u003Emore\u003C\/i\u003E time with it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo, once again, I make a promise to myself: to spend less time doing and more time being.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-iSWcSL86rLM\/YEb5zCUDy-I\/AAAAAAAA3vU\/MyCvrtCJJL8ydPj12yp9D-xRk25Ym4LGQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Waving%2Bgrass%2Bin%2BAshcroft.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-iSWcSL86rLM\/YEb5zCUDy-I\/AAAAAAAA3vU\/MyCvrtCJJL8ydPj12yp9D-xRk25Ym4LGQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Waving%2Bgrass%2Bin%2BAshcroft.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHere's to more restorative and fun staycation weeks this year!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/7248781610637949105\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/03\/fully-rested-at-last.html#comment-form","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/7248781610637949105"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/7248781610637949105"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/03\/fully-rested-at-last.html","title":"Fully rested, at last"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Y__qVlEmDFM\/YEbQGF3OWTI\/AAAAAAAA3uw\/Mygb2fFMmy0hxlZ-Z5zWdMmqNFlsNkokQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Reading%2Bnook.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-3130918804536842634"},"published":{"$t":"2021-02-26T13:33:00.001-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-02-26T13:33:36.585-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"dream"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"spring"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Dreaming of spring-cleaning"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-YbyLmH9pTBY\/YDkFR9BxIbI\/AAAAAAAA3ts\/dTfHe9uR8F8N30h7rB2rJ-PZL2Pmow0AQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1920\/spring-bird-2295431_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1280\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-YbyLmH9pTBY\/YDkFR9BxIbI\/AAAAAAAA3ts\/dTfHe9uR8F8N30h7rB2rJ-PZL2Pmow0AQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/spring-bird-2295431_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EToo often I forget that I'm the mistress of my own life, and do stupid things like working all the time because I was taught that this is what I'm \u003Ci\u003Esupposed\u003C\/i\u003E to do. Just because my parents\/society\/the \u003Ci\u003Eestablishment\u003C\/i\u003E (whatever that may be) have banged that into my head since I was little, doesn't mean I have to listen to it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo, next week I'm taking a week off! I have no commitments, no scheduled shifts, and I decided to say no to any work and yes to everything my little heart desires. To say I am majorly stoked about next week is a gross understatement - I am positively giddy with excitement!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI don't know about you, but March is always the month to me that holds the promise of spring. I know that it's highly unlikely for winter to go just yet, but a girl can dream, right?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ETo get myself in the spring frame of mind, I started something I don't do often: deep-cleaning!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI clean our house every week (you have to with all the dogs that live with us), but deep-cleaning is different. It means washing the curtains, scrubbing the walls and doors, washing not only the windows I can reach easily, but also the high ones where I have to drag the ladder in. It includes taking all the lamp shades off and washing them in warm water. It's a whole production, and I only have the energy for it once or twice a year. And right now is one of those precious times!\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYesterday I tackled our back deck, throwing off the Christmas tree that was parked there, sweeping and washing the windows, door and walls. I didn't have time to scrub the deck, but that's the first item on my list. Why yes, of course I have a list of stuff that I am planning to do next week! It's just for fun and I won't beat myself up if I don't cross off every item, but I like to have some sort of plan before entering a new week.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOne of the things I've been working on to spice up winter is a little bedroom refresh. Nothing big, just some small tweaks. I ordered a new comforter set, and I'm creating a little reading nook with a comfy armchair. I'm also adding some more wall art, which I will be shopping for next week.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-HJRCEG72Umc\/YDkHR4BrxgI\/AAAAAAAA3t0\/on5YNaDCqKseQRQEBZDntQKaKbZgxRvMgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1920\/pathway-2289978_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1280\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-HJRCEG72Umc\/YDkHR4BrxgI\/AAAAAAAA3t0\/on5YNaDCqKseQRQEBZDntQKaKbZgxRvMgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/pathway-2289978_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003EEarly spring-break staycation list:\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cul\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cspan\u003Escrub deck\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cspan\u003Edecorate reading nook\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cspan\u003Elook for wall art\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cspan\u003Eclean SheShed\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cspan\u003Ewash windows\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cspan\u003Edeep-clean bathroom\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003Eprint new photos for gallery wall\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cspan\u003Ework on novel\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cspan\u003Ewalks with Lily\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cspan\u003Eyoga\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cspan\u003Edates with Rich\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cspan\u003Ebuy flowers for myself\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003Ewrite down vision for perfect life\/life mission statement\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cspan\u003Ehave a girls' night\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cspan\u003Epaint baseboards?\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003Ecreate spring list\u003C\/li\u003E\u003C\/ul\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; font-style: italic; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-80x5oHGJL-U\/YDkJjhvTWJI\/AAAAAAAA3t8\/uTfs6fOEhZkr7C185yuEf96wxQYzF3sRACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1920\/lamb-1081950_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1280\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-80x5oHGJL-U\/YDkJjhvTWJI\/AAAAAAAA3t8\/uTfs6fOEhZkr7C185yuEf96wxQYzF3sRACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/lamb-1081950_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMaking this list has inspired me to make one for the real spring, which I will probably be working on next week as well. With another season most likely spent at home, my goal is to make our home and ranch as happy, cozy and welcoming as possible! I can't wait for warmer temperatures and more time spent outside. Hurry up, spring!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003EAll images from\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/pixabay.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPixabay\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/3130918804536842634\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/02\/dreaming-of-spring-cleaning.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3130918804536842634"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3130918804536842634"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/02\/dreaming-of-spring-cleaning.html","title":"Dreaming of spring-cleaning"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-YbyLmH9pTBY\/YDkFR9BxIbI\/AAAAAAAA3ts\/dTfHe9uR8F8N30h7rB2rJ-PZL2Pmow0AQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/spring-bird-2295431_1920.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-2458461424363650614"},"published":{"$t":"2021-02-19T14:52:00.011-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-02-19T15:10:11.917-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"covid-19"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"sick"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"I thought I had Covid-19"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-73z9kwOYwW8\/YC_5jms9ffI\/AAAAAAAA3tM\/a94OMC4Rtxc6Vr6rII_KVJROouCLDmFUwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Sleeping%2Bdogs.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"838\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-73z9kwOYwW8\/YC_5jms9ffI\/AAAAAAAA3tM\/a94OMC4Rtxc6Vr6rII_KVJROouCLDmFUwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Sleeping%2Bdogs.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI wake up in the middle of the night from my nausea. I feel so sick that I think I may have to throw up, so I stagger into the bathroom and kneel down in front of the toilet. My entire body is shaking, and I can feel every inch of it. Normally we are not aware of our body; it's just there, unnoticed, doing its job quietly without disturbing us. But now I feel the coldness of my feet, the shaking of my legs, and a soreness in my upper body that clings to me like a wet blanket. It's awful. After a couple of minutes I'm pretty sure that I'm not going to throw up, so I heave myself off the floor, take a Gravol and a Tylenol, and stumble back to bed. My aching body makes sleep impossible, and as I try unsuccessfully to get comfortable, a terrible thought strikes me: I x-rayed a patient with Covid three days ago. Did I get Covid?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EFor the rest of the night I can't sleep. I replay in my mind what I wore (full PPE), what I touched (as little as possible), what I cleaned (EVERYTHING), and what I did when I took my PPE off. Did I touch the outside of my mask? I can't remember. Did I wash my hands after I took everything off? I think so - but I'm not sure. Panic is threatening to overwhelm me, so I remind myself that I already got the first dose of the vaccine. I google how soon you are protected after the first dose, and I read it's two weeks after the \u003Ci\u003Esecond\u003C\/i\u003E dose - dammit, I've only had my first shot 10 days ago. Does that mean it's not working at all, or working a bit, or working 50%? \u003Ci\u003EWhat is it??\u003C\/i\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI toss and turn, agonizing and worrying. I'm supposed to work all week, but I can't possibly go. What if I have it and infect every single patient and co-worker? I would feel like Typhoid Mary. I have to call in sick, and I have to get tested.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut that's not the worst of it. My biggest fear is that I have given it to Rich, who is immuno-compromised thanks to his\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/p\/lyme-disease.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ELyme disease\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E \u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-b9G2sK6hGpE\/YDAfyUpD06I\/AAAAAAAA3tU\/HiV4dem42XoegJAnqqeyOJ1iRvg3MiMRQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2015\/Winter%2Bcat.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"2015\" data-original-width=\"2014\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-b9G2sK6hGpE\/YDAfyUpD06I\/AAAAAAAA3tU\/HiV4dem42XoegJAnqqeyOJ1iRvg3MiMRQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Winter%2Bcat.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003ERich looks strong like an ox. He is broad-shouldered, with muscled arms and legs, big hands, and the straight posture of a man 30 years younger. He looks and moves like he is in his 40s instead of his late 60s, and you would think that nothing can bring him down.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut looks are deceiving. When he got the shingles vaccine a few months ago, he was in bed for a full two days because he was in so much pain. He sweat so much that we had to change the sheets twice, was alternately boiling hot and freezing cold, and felt miserable.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAny time I see him like this I get flashbacks to when he got \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/p\/lyme-disease.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eseverely sick\u0026nbsp;in 2017\u003C\/a\u003E. It was one of the worst times of my life, and I'll do anything to avoid for him getting so sick again.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd now I may have brought the virus home? After a year of being careful, of disinfecting and hand-washing and doing my best to keep my work (and all the germs and viruses that I encounter there) safely away from him?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EFuuuuuuuck.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI book the earliest appointment I can to get us tested, which is the next morning. Great, 24 hours to worry about having Covid, plus another 24 while awaiting the test results.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-h32NydS3ok4\/YDAvB2tZABI\/AAAAAAAA3tc\/CsAq0gZGnfk5UsPd1Pr1fQMbiS6hOQ5KACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Lytton%2Bin%2BFebruary.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-h32NydS3ok4\/YDAvB2tZABI\/AAAAAAAA3tc\/CsAq0gZGnfk5UsPd1Pr1fQMbiS6hOQ5KACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Lytton%2Bin%2BFebruary.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe next 48 hours are a blur. I sleep a lot due to my exhaustion and feeling unwell. When I'm awake, I try to distract myself by watching endless episodes of \u003Ci\u003ESuperstore\u003C\/i\u003E, which is an easy show to watch and doesn't require much concentration. I have no appetite, which never happens - I usually have a very healthy appetite.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe body aches are still there, which are now joined by chills. I repeatedly check if I have a fever because I feel like I do, but the thermometer never goes beyond 36.4 degrees Celsius.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOn day 2 I develop a headache, but that could be due to not having had any coffee - after I drink a cup it slowly fades away. What's weird is that my arm where I got vaccinated 2 weeks ago is sore again - not much, but enough that it's noticeable. I also have a slight productive cough.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOn day 3 I wake up at 6 am and check my phone every few minutes. I signed up to get the results send as a text message, and the nurse promised that I would get them the next day since I'm a healthcare worker.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAlmost exactly 24 hours after I got tested, the result is in: negative! I'm almost weak with relief.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe have to wait another day for Rich's result, but once it comes in it's negative as well.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm almost back to normal. Was it a cold? I don't think so; I didn't have the typical sneezing and sniffling. The flu? If that was the flu, then it was the mildest case I've ever heard of.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOr could it have been a delayed reaction to the vaccine? The symptoms match, and the soreness in the injection site was a sign as well. It's weird that it didn't start until 2 weeks after the inoculation, but maybe others have had the same happen to them?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhatever it was, I'm feeling better, and I am very happy that I got vaccinated. The little taste I got when I thought I may have Covid-19 was more than enough - if the vaccine protects me from the real thing then it was worth it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/2458461424363650614\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/02\/i-thought-i-had-covid-19.html#comment-form","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/2458461424363650614"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/2458461424363650614"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/02\/i-thought-i-had-covid-19.html","title":"I thought I had Covid-19"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-73z9kwOYwW8\/YC_5jms9ffI\/AAAAAAAA3tM\/a94OMC4Rtxc6Vr6rII_KVJROouCLDmFUwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Sleeping%2Bdogs.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-6465835130996176950"},"published":{"$t":"2021-02-14T10:33:00.003-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-02-19T18:11:14.311-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"happiness"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"10 things I'm loving right now"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-juu6250yl8Y\/YClS5_FtsUI\/AAAAAAAA3r8\/GhDSohbMexk3TVvLZRo-CilCtZSC75NAACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1920\/swan-2326666_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1280\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-juu6250yl8Y\/YClS5_FtsUI\/AAAAAAAA3r8\/GhDSohbMexk3TVvLZRo-CilCtZSC75NAACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/swan-2326666_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EHappy Sunday and happy Valentine's day! Personally, I'm not a fan of V-day, because I think it creates a lot of pressure in relationships and makes people who are single feel bad, but if you love it, ignore me. Celebrating love is definitely a good thing, and something we all need more of! Also, how cute is that swan photo? I got it from\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/pixabay.com\/photos\/swan-heart-love-bill-beach-2326666\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPixabay\u003C\/a\u003E, the free website where I get all my photos that are not taken by me. Everybody can upload photos to the site, and if it's approved it's free to download and use without having to credit the photographer. \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/pixabay.com\/users\/farmgirlmiriam-2042571\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EI have a page there\u003C\/a\u003E as well, with more than 40,000 downloads! Which reminds me, I have to dust off my camera and start taking DSLR photos again. I haven't in over a year, yikes!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-9ADylTBooMs\/YClVMzUApBI\/AAAAAAAA3sE\/lboAmh7Zx6Iig3nESL-UAbuENS1xiHODQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1920\/white-dog-2200029_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1397\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-9ADylTBooMs\/YClVMzUApBI\/AAAAAAAA3sE\/lboAmh7Zx6Iig3nESL-UAbuENS1xiHODQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/white-dog-2200029_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've just come out of a series of what I call\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/tinyletter.com\/Farmgirlmiriam\/letters\/some-days-i-do-all-the-things-other-days-i-do-zero\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ezero days\u003C\/a\u003E, which are just what they sound like: days where I have zero drive, motivation or energy. I get them every winter, and I know that after enough rest, sleep, funny TV shows and disappearing into a few good books, they will pass. Which they have! If you're stuck in the middle of your own zero days, hang in there. Be gentle with yourself, and trust that you'll come out of it when your body and mind are ready.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cu\u003EHere are a few things that help me find joy every day:\u003C\/u\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E1. Writing in my gratitude journal. \u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003EI've been doing that on and off for years now, and I'm passionate about it. If you practice gratitude daily, you will program your brain to see and appreciate good things around you and become happier. It really works! You can write into any old notebook, a piece of paper, use the notes section on your phone, or the back of a take-out menu. I recently bought\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.ca\/gp\/product\/1523242701\/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o09_s00?ie=UTF8\u0026amp;psc=1\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ethis journal\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;that I keep on my nightstand, and every night when I go to bed I spend just a minute or two listing 3-6 things that I'm grateful for that day. It's one of my favourite daily rituals.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E2. Ordering bathing suits and summer clothes.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E It's no secret that I love online-shopping. Even before Covid I ordered most of my clothes online, because I love how it triples the fun: looking at and choosing clothes; the anticipation of waiting for them to arrive; and the moment when you find that parcel in your mailbox and get to try it on. I've ordered\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/ca.shein.com\/Graphic-Print-Tassel-Ruffle-Bikini-Swimsuit-p-1768737-cat-2194.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ethis pretty boho-bikini\u003C\/a\u003E,\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.cupshe.com\/products\/bright-day-shirring-one-piece-swimsuit?_pos=1\u0026amp;_sid=c61cd64a3\u0026amp;_ss=r\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ethis happy tangerine one-piece\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;and\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.cupshe.com\/collections\/one-piece\/products\/red-deep-v-neck-one-piece-swimsuit\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ea sexy red number with the deepest V I've ever tried\u003C\/a\u003E. Cam't wait for them to arrive to try them on!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E3. Watching\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Superstore_(TV_series)\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ESuperstore\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;on Netflix. \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003EI didn't think I would like it, but I love it! America Ferrera and Ben Feldman are superb, and the show just makes you feel good. Great escapism!\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-xpLER2J9Djk\/YCla3LX68XI\/AAAAAAAA3sM\/6VvAW-OJg9kHlPptYRvUSV_9nUpZ54zGQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/150240312_10158898783772534_1685152823315896430_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-xpLER2J9Djk\/YCla3LX68XI\/AAAAAAAA3sM\/6VvAW-OJg9kHlPptYRvUSV_9nUpZ54zGQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/150240312_10158898783772534_1685152823315896430_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E4. Walking.\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E After a week of either not going for Lily-walks or only on short ones, my energy is back. Walking is my meditation, my medicine, the glue that keeps me sane(ish) and our marriage happy. I need those endorphins! Last night the stars were out in full force, the snow glittered in the light of the street lamps and I felt like walking on a carpet of a million diamonds. It was magical!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've also noticed my butt and middle getting tighter, and while that's not the reason why I walk, it's a nice side-effect!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E5. Doing puzzles.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E Oh yes, I've joined the puzzle club. I'm on my 4th one since just before Christmas, and it's so relaxing and meditative, I'm hooked! Our local Fields-store sells them for under $10, which is money well spent for the amount of peace I get out of it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E6. Cancelling credit cards we don't use anymore. \u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003EA few years ago we were quite a bit in debt, so we did what many of us do: we accumulated several credit cards and rotated them to pay our bills. Not the best way to do it, but we did anyway. After we were able to pay everything off, we still held on to the credit cards \"just in case\". Between us we had 7 or 8, which is ridiculous. Last month I finally got round to cancelling a few, and now we have 2 each \"just in case\" (old habits die hard). It's a small thing, but it made me feel so much lighter! I also cancelled my old bank account that I hadn't used since we moved, since we don't have that bank in town anymore. For the past 4 years I paid $200\/year just to keep that account, which was also silly. I highly recommend KonMari-ing your finances, it feels great!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-pdh44ShIun4\/YClkAUHsiyI\/AAAAAAAA3sU\/p460Lz7iECs42-p4sPQdhRZ-x1xLiDZYACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/150391549_10158898783862534_4033587431339319068_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-pdh44ShIun4\/YClkAUHsiyI\/AAAAAAAA3sU\/p460Lz7iECs42-p4sPQdhRZ-x1xLiDZYACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/150391549_10158898783862534_4033587431339319068_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E7. Affirmations. \u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003EI'm on a journey to becoming my best, most confident, healthiest self. Aren't we all? To nobody's surprise, what helps me the most to get there are words. Words are sacred to me, and reading about the experiences and wisdom from other people are powerful tools to guide us. The other day I came across \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/CLJ0bVrA3L8\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ethis series of affirmations\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;by\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/clementinemorrigan\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EClementine Morrigan\u003C\/a\u003E:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ci\u003EThe healthier I become ...\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ci\u003E... the stronger my boundaries become.\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ci\u003E... the less I engage in conflict avoidance and people pleasing.\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ci\u003E... the more I am able to tolerate people disliking me or misunderstanding me.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ci\u003E... the more grounded I feel in my integrity and my principles.\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ci\u003E... the less compliant I become.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EPowerful.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E8. Reader emails. \u003C\/b\u003EOnce in a while I get emails from readers, and they are so special to me. I consider myself to be a hobby-writer, because I don't make a living of it, and our money-driven world wants to make us believe that this makes it less valid. Even though I know that's not true, it's still a struggle. So when I get feedback from strangers who have read my words and liked them, it means everything to me. I shouldn't need outside validation, but here we are. Thank you so much for reading my words! It means the world to me ❤\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Oxva15HqpUY\/YClp_ZP3AAI\/AAAAAAAA3sc\/TtkGRrZDWtUi3c8g3vrbQbyGeNFIrxXvACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1920\/heart-3147976_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1280\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Oxva15HqpUY\/YClp_ZP3AAI\/AAAAAAAA3sc\/TtkGRrZDWtUi3c8g3vrbQbyGeNFIrxXvACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/heart-3147976_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E9. Pizza on my weekends away. \u003C\/b\u003EI'm away from home every second weekend when I'm on call, and I have a lot of little rituals that make it more special to me. One of the most important ones: pizza! I buy myself a frozen pizza every time, and I really look forward to it. Rich is not crazy about pizza (insane, right?!), so I'm getting my fix when I'm away. It's one of my favourite foods, and yes, I'm team pineapple. Don't argue with me, pineapple and pizza belong together like pb\u0026amp;j.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E10. Using my middle finger more often. \u003C\/b\u003EThe power of flipping the bird can not be underestimated. As per the affirmations mentioned above, I no longer strive towards universal acceptance. There are people that I simply don't like, and flipping the bird towards their house, car, or them (when they aren't looking) is very satisfying. Immature? Yes. Extremely enjoyable? Hells yes!\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EHave a happy Sunday and lovely week! The days are getting longer, which means we are inching closer towards spring with every passing day. Yay!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/6465835130996176950\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/02\/10-things-im-loving-right-now.html#comment-form","title":"4 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/6465835130996176950"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/6465835130996176950"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/02\/10-things-im-loving-right-now.html","title":"10 things I'm loving right now"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-juu6250yl8Y\/YClS5_FtsUI\/AAAAAAAA3r8\/GhDSohbMexk3TVvLZRo-CilCtZSC75NAACLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/swan-2326666_1920.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"4"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-965688756115231581"},"published":{"$t":"2021-02-04T23:44:00.003-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-02-05T09:55:11.899-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"hospital diaries"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"The heaviness of being a witness to the worst news"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-kNhTamFFQo4\/YBz2LeZ4NLI\/AAAAAAAA3rM\/ihaBcqBn9BwXKhP1hOhJoYTV1Gu8PurdACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1920\/girl-1245678_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1281\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-kNhTamFFQo4\/YBz2LeZ4NLI\/AAAAAAAA3rM\/ihaBcqBn9BwXKhP1hOhJoYTV1Gu8PurdACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/girl-1245678_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThey called me in for a patient who was short of breath. That's one of the most common reasons we take chest x-rays - they happen every day.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOn the way from the emergency department to my x-ray room she apologized for me having to come in. On weekends, we don't have scheduled shifts at the hospital; we are on call for emergencies. About 10% of the patients apologize for having us called in, and I always find it very endearing. After all, that's the purpose of us being on call, and it's not like we are doing it for free, which is what I usually tell them, and what earns me a relieved laugh.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOn that happy note, we proceeded into the treatment room. I made a comment on her first and middle names, which she shares with a rather famous royal British princess. We were chatting about people who are obsessed with following the goings-on of the British royalty, while I was processing the first image of her chest x-ray.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd my heart plummeted.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThere was something huge on her chest.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI stared at it for a moment, shocked, before continuing my small talk, even though it was now more forced than before. We are not allowed to comment on anything we see, and when the patient asks, we have to tell them to wait for the doctor's report. It's not easy sometimes.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAs soon as I had returned her to the ER, I went to the doctor.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"You have to take a look at her chest x-ray right away,\" I urged him. He obliged, and I stood over him as he pulled up the images on his screen. As soon as he saw them, our eyes met in mutual horrified understanding.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHe had to take her and her husband to the private consultation room later that day to tell them the bad news.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI never knew the official diagnosis, due to the many complicated rules that guard a patient's privacy and the confidentiality of their records.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut for the next three months, I x-rayed her every weekend I was working. She was as positive, kind and upbeat as she was the first time I had seen her, but her body was wasting away. She grew weaker every time I saw her.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBound by the invisible rules of our positions, we never mentioned what was going on. But we both knew.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ETwo weeks ago she passed away.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI still remember her saying how hopeful she was for the new year, and the new hope it represented.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-EpPTA2ZPwBc\/YBztRC0UJlI\/AAAAAAAA3q0\/xaq6vfWxe14op1BvnG_cB0jdeoFaDTY8gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1920\/snow-3373432_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1203\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-EpPTA2ZPwBc\/YBztRC0UJlI\/AAAAAAAA3q0\/xaq6vfWxe14op1BvnG_cB0jdeoFaDTY8gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/snow-3373432_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI x-rayed another patient. Just a quick, run-of-the-mill outpatient chest x-ray. They are the most common x-rays we do, and we usually whip them off in a couple of minutes once the patient is in the room. I always ask why they're here, and she gave me one of the most common reasons: \"I get really short of breath.\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI took the first picture, and it was processing while I was taking the second one.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAs soon as I saw it coming up, my insides went cold. 'Not again', was all I could think.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"How long has this been going on?\" I managed to ask.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"About 4 months, I think,\" was the answer.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"Do you have any idea what's causing it?\" I asked, hoping against hope.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"No, not yet,\" she said, confirming my worst fears.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI alerted the doctor as soon as she was gone, making sure they would take a look at it right away.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt was as bad as I had feared.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/--pnIHbAYPck\/YBzzijZR3uI\/AAAAAAAA3rE\/2dX5VKKMtKMCa37-M16cI0ENtS8sr5bdwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Waving%2Bgrass%2Bin%2BAshcroft.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/--pnIHbAYPck\/YBzzijZR3uI\/AAAAAAAA3rE\/2dX5VKKMtKMCa37-M16cI0ENtS8sr5bdwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Waving%2Bgrass%2Bin%2BAshcroft.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EA patient arrived via ambulance. He was severely short of breath and disoriented, but it took a while before we got the full scope of his condition. In short: he was dying. There wasn't much of anything we could do for him. He was an exceedingly sweet man, telling us much about his life, which we listened to patiently, while frantically contacting his family behind the scenes.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe managed to contact them. They came, conferred, and then they all moved him to his home town. We don't know what's happened to him since.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESome days, this job is heavy.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/965688756115231581\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/02\/the-heaviness-of-being-witness-of-worst.html#comment-form","title":"10 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/965688756115231581"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/965688756115231581"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/02\/the-heaviness-of-being-witness-of-worst.html","title":"The heaviness of being a witness to the worst news"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-kNhTamFFQo4\/YBz2LeZ4NLI\/AAAAAAAA3rM\/ihaBcqBn9BwXKhP1hOhJoYTV1Gu8PurdACLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/girl-1245678_1920.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"10"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-5982371999480919231"},"published":{"$t":"2021-01-31T11:24:00.003-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-01-31T11:56:48.285-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life lessons"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"1,001 times I've been wrong"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E(and counting)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-l9jZFNLuvBo\/YBDGpoc4jwI\/AAAAAAAA3o0\/EbBaa-YJydQCBSLaNGSDh4IySPwjCdRzwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Snowshoeing%2Bwith%2BLily%2Band%2BTanya%2Bedited.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"670\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-l9jZFNLuvBo\/YBDGpoc4jwI\/AAAAAAAA3o0\/EbBaa-YJydQCBSLaNGSDh4IySPwjCdRzwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Snowshoeing%2Bwith%2BLily%2Band%2BTanya%2Bedited.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm wearing joggers now. And I swore to myself that I never would. I was sure that I would skip the athleisure trend, convinced that I'd found my style and would stick to it forever: casual boho-inspired cowgirl, lots of denim, boots,\u0026nbsp; and pretty dresses (if you can't picture it, click\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/search\/label\/fashion\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ehere\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;for some visuals).\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut I caved. I saw enough women wearing cute joggers for the past year or two, and I finally ordered my first pair a few months ago. Quickly followed by 2 (or 3?) more pairs, some leggings, and some casual boxy sweaters. Did I mention that I also believed, once upon a time, that leggings aren't pants? Oh, how little I knew.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI wear all of them not just around the house, but outside in the real world, at work (not the leggings, just the joggers), and pretty much all the damn time. And I \u003Ci\u003Elove\u003C\/i\u003E it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBeing wrong is getting a bad rep. It seems like an admission of failure. Failure, incidentally, has a \u003Ci\u003Ereally\u003C\/i\u003E bad rep, and is feared so much that it prevents many of us from trying new things. But they are the most natural parts of growing, and should therefore be embraced rather than feared.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIn the (frivolous, but what's wrong with being frivolous?) example of embracing a new fashion trend, I've gained something new that brings me joy. Sure, I had to admit that I didn't know myself as well as I thought I did, but what's wrong with that? It's perfectly okay to change your mind.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-4JyhhaqKA2w\/YBbdfBVLeeI\/AAAAAAAA3qA\/9dctnoMD5u8_hSYzzGkgm4sjBwOjtURcwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Lady%2BGrantham.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"960\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-4JyhhaqKA2w\/YBbdfBVLeeI\/AAAAAAAA3qA\/9dctnoMD5u8_hSYzzGkgm4sjBwOjtURcwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Lady%2BGrantham.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou said it, Lady Grantham.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThere are, of course, more serious topics I've been wrong about. \"Not seeing colour\" was something I thought was commendable, before I learnt last year that it's part of the problem of racism.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI believed that \"not being a political person\" was a choice instead of a privilege.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI never even heard of white privilege before last year, which of course proves that I have white privilege.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI secretly thought that many feminists disliked men, and never wanted to be grouped into that category. I can't believe I once thought that, because how wrong was I? Wanting equality has nothing to do with hate and everything with the desire that all humans are being treated equal.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOn the lighter side, there has been the amazing realization that I love cats in addition to dogs.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2018\/08\/thelma-and-louise.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EI've written about it before\u003C\/a\u003E, but it's worth mentioning again. The thing about putting yourself into little boxes is that you limit yourself for absolutely no reason. Thankfully, I'm breaking out of ever more boxes over time, opening myself up to more love, more joy, and more possibilities!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-hO7PDj1Ztuc\/YBIRmJmmrvI\/AAAAAAAA3pQ\/VBxhiyHX7RcZBE6l2mPccCrmRVYcB1sygCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Miss%2BGrey%2Band%2Bme.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1365\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-hO7PDj1Ztuc\/YBIRmJmmrvI\/AAAAAAAA3pQ\/VBxhiyHX7RcZBE6l2mPccCrmRVYcB1sygCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Miss%2BGrey%2Band%2Bme.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've also stated before (in\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.ca\/Quit-Hustle-overcoming-everything-yourself\/dp\/1071404741\/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1U7UZ1TCS4D55\u0026amp;dchild=1\u0026amp;keywords=miriam+verheyden\u0026amp;qid=1609691127\u0026amp;sprefix=miriam+ver%2Caps%2C318\u0026amp;sr=8-1\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ea book\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;no less) that I would never wear a step counter ever again.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI let it rule my life in my thirties, which was \u003Ci\u003Ehorrible\u003C\/i\u003E. I would think terrible things about myself and my worth when I didn't fulfill the goal I had set myself for the day.\u003Cb\u003E I stay behind my promise to never again be the slave to a gadget or that mindset \u003Ci\u003Eever again\u003C\/i\u003E.\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut I was wrong about the culprit. It wasn't the step counter's fault.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe culprit was a combination of diet culture, my upbringing, the people I surrounded myself with, and my own insecurities channeling themselves into body insecurities, because that's what women have been taught to focus on from the time they're little girls.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOnce I started unlearning that toxic mindset and started to appreciate movement for what it was (a great way to clear your mind, make your muscles sing, get a dose of endorphins, feel strong and fit, keep yourself healthy, get an idea for the next plot of my novel), I was opening myself up to possibilities again.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBecause diet culture keeps you small. It limits your thinking, your worldview, and your options. It makes you believe that there is only one way ahead: by shrinking yourself. Nothing else is as important as that one tiny, stupid goal: to see your weight go down. Career ambitions, personal goals, relationships, happiness, peace, or the world at large pale in comparison to that one, teeny-tiny goal.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYour world shrinks to almost nothing.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI was caught in that trap. Most women are, unless they grow up with progressive thinkers, or they're exceptionally strong. I had\/was neither, so I had to fight my way out of that thicket by leaps and bounds.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ezbQaFCd_-s\/YBIuG4wSHNI\/AAAAAAAA3pg\/d99ag0NijpwpCGu3vvrjqeFI2S6qWt-EwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Walking%2Bup%2Bthe%2Bmountains%2BMay%2B2018.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ezbQaFCd_-s\/YBIuG4wSHNI\/AAAAAAAA3pg\/d99ag0NijpwpCGu3vvrjqeFI2S6qWt-EwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Walking%2Bup%2Bthe%2Bmountains%2BMay%2B2018.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003ELast October I bought myself my first ever Fitbit, and this time around it's completely different. Instead of ruling my life, it's enhancing it. I don't beat myself up when I don't reach my goal. It's motivating, not punishing. I've always loved to walk, and I always feel better after. I'm a naturally restless person,\u0026nbsp;\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003Eand whenever I need to mull something over\/feel penned up\/frustrated\/bored, I need to go for a walk. However, in typical illogical human fashion, taking that first step is often incredibly hard. I'd rather think or talk about how \"I should go for a walk\" instead of doing it, because that would make too much sense.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThat little gadget on my wrist motivates me to take the first step, and after that it's easy. I've noticed a huge improvement in my mental and physical health since going for my daily walks, and I feel better than ever!\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-8FQmA8WyAUk\/YBb0ajcDyMI\/AAAAAAAA3qY\/keE4v1QRnesxtJNq4HzH1sUcLMVVRESewCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/145115911_10158863874687534_1250833016845499188_o.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-8FQmA8WyAUk\/YBb0ajcDyMI\/AAAAAAAA3qY\/keE4v1QRnesxtJNq4HzH1sUcLMVVRESewCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/145115911_10158863874687534_1250833016845499188_o.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EOther things I said I would never do:\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- \u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/01\/8-weeks-in-puppy-heaven.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBreed our dogs\u003C\/a\u003E.\u003C\/b\u003E Needless to say I was wrong about that. It was the best!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- \u003Cb\u003ECut my own hair.\u003C\/b\u003E I've been cutting my bangs and trimming the ends of my hair for two years now, and I love not being dependent on hair salons anymore.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- \u003Cb\u003EStop explaining myself.\u003C\/b\u003E Especially to people who are determined to misunderstand me. You do you, and I keep doing me, baby.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- \u003Cb\u003ETake another job that \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2019\/07\/194-days-of-solitude.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Etakes me away from home\u003C\/a\u003E. \u003C\/b\u003EAfter living and working away from home for half the year in 2018\/2019, I thought I would never do that again. Well, last May I took another job that would take me away, this time only every second weekend. It's turned out to be my favourite job yet, and I treasure my weekends away. It's an extravaganza of alone time that recharges me for days! It's also my creative high time, because there are no distractions apart from the calls to the hospital. I'm doing some of my best writing here!\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- \u003Cb\u003EWear Dr. Martens boots again.\u003C\/b\u003E I thought I had outgrown my infatuation with Docs, as we lovingly called them in my youth, but once again, I was wrong. I bought\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.ca\/gp\/product\/B01B271GKM\/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8\u0026amp;psc=1\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ethis pair\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;last fall, and I've honestly worn almost nothing since. Hands down the best winter boots I've ever owned.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've been wrong in believing that other people's happiness is my responsibility, and that it's my job to act as cheerleader, shoulder to lean on and emotional trashcan. It's \u003Cb\u003Enot\u003C\/b\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've misjudged people, believing what they told me instead of what they showed me.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI still have the tendency to focus on the worst-case scenario instead of trusting that everything will work out (despite overwhelming evidence and a long history of things working out just fine).\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've been wrong countless times. And that's okay.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EDon't be afraid of mistakes. Don't be ashamed to admit if you were wrong. The people who point fingers and cast blame are the ones with most to hide.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAs Brene Brown says:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\"If you are not in the arena also getting your butt kicked, I'm not interested in you feedback.\"\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOr my favourite, Lady Grantham:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-jjkh-UnZY1g\/YBb9_P0cm3I\/AAAAAAAA3qg\/8qrVTMPA8E4ldR9dfN-vuealfJxaMbIwwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s655\/DA6-ep1_Quote_Violet_01_655-X-350.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"350\" data-original-width=\"655\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-jjkh-UnZY1g\/YBb9_P0cm3I\/AAAAAAAA3qg\/8qrVTMPA8E4ldR9dfN-vuealfJxaMbIwwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/DA6-ep1_Quote_Violet_01_655-X-350.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ECheers to living and learning, growing and expanding, messing up over and over again, and not listening to the haters!\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/5982371999480919231\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/01\/1001-times-ive-been-wrong.html#comment-form","title":"3 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/5982371999480919231"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/5982371999480919231"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/01\/1001-times-ive-been-wrong.html","title":"1,001 times I've been wrong"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-l9jZFNLuvBo\/YBDGpoc4jwI\/AAAAAAAA3o0\/EbBaa-YJydQCBSLaNGSDh4IySPwjCdRzwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Snowshoeing%2Bwith%2BLily%2Band%2BTanya%2Bedited.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"3"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-2966569149265192002"},"published":{"$t":"2021-01-21T09:36:00.001-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-01-21T09:36:21.389-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"dogs"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"farmlife"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"8 weeks in puppy heaven"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-PZEHta8Rrpk\/YAmjZjzY9RI\/AAAAAAAA3lQ\/Q8lMw-JtXjIJOPQc7zjvt5w2gs2x0F9KwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/140362096_10158821099557534_1031194472398211905_n.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-PZEHta8Rrpk\/YAmjZjzY9RI\/AAAAAAAA3lQ\/Q8lMw-JtXjIJOPQc7zjvt5w2gs2x0F9KwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/140362096_10158821099557534_1031194472398211905_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThis post is aaaaall about puppies! If you're into that, continue reading, if not - what's wrong with you?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe are nearing the end of our time with the puppies, and to preserve it I'm going to share a ton of photos and videos here.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI never thought I would ever raise a litter of puppies, let alone two! But as the saying goes, make plans and hear God laughing, right? It should go without saying that these 2 months have been some of the happiest I've ever had. Rich keeps telling me that he's never seen me smile that much, and how could you not? Puppy love is the purest love in the world.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EJust look:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" class=\"BLOG_video_class\" height=\"266\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/SQj_kmOWM08\" width=\"320\" youtube-src-id=\"SQj_kmOWM08\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EAs you can see, Lily is \u003Ci\u003Enot\u003C\/i\u003E a fan. She is the resident grumpy grandma, and as soon as the pups are let loose, she's outta there. They, sensing her weakness, get great enjoyment out of chasing her around the house, which is hilarious! Luckily for her, they can't get up on the bed or couch, so she has a safe refuge when it's get too much for her.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAlright, enough talking. Enjoy the cuteness!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EFirst up: The Sarplaninac\/Great Pyrenees pups\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ZG0GxqsConQ\/YAmqAb555rI\/AAAAAAAA3lY\/A2Ya7VXKH4QwdBm0miScJ6FvijZKIBa7gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Teddy%2527s%2Bpuppies%2B4%2Bdays%2Bold.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ZG0GxqsConQ\/YAmqAb555rI\/AAAAAAAA3lY\/A2Ya7VXKH4QwdBm0miScJ6FvijZKIBa7gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Teddy%2527s%2Bpuppies%2B4%2Bdays%2Bold.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1L0p_qPIT1A\/YAmqIcsE8JI\/AAAAAAAA3lk\/agqB_C3AQ6kJa5QuEJv8Jqw5jVU7U0S8QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/141008986_10158825545767534_1992277164842988706_n.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"528\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1L0p_qPIT1A\/YAmqIcsE8JI\/AAAAAAAA3lk\/agqB_C3AQ6kJa5QuEJv8Jqw5jVU7U0S8QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/141008986_10158825545767534_1992277164842988706_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Q1bbXJKUfBY\/YAmqIRcWPLI\/AAAAAAAA3lg\/W8_l9N0XnfQWt0N_LUeYgwr_mJpx0r7FgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/141447283_10158825545462534_1448471468677404690_n.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Q1bbXJKUfBY\/YAmqIRcWPLI\/AAAAAAAA3lg\/W8_l9N0XnfQWt0N_LUeYgwr_mJpx0r7FgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/141447283_10158825545462534_1448471468677404690_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-J7sYzOy3VKY\/YAmqIdGAiPI\/AAAAAAAA3lc\/htOuCUHBzpov3nLLh43I7kqa2lSA3K-ugCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/141587884_10158825545232534_7101523924942395390_n.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"630\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-J7sYzOy3VKY\/YAmqIdGAiPI\/AAAAAAAA3lc\/htOuCUHBzpov3nLLh43I7kqa2lSA3K-ugCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/141587884_10158825545232534_7101523924942395390_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-dZQVaLYqQ2g\/YAmqgGkO8dI\/AAAAAAAA3l8\/89U3CYgtw0skkznRIsYFYqNhlKM3b7Y9QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s942\/131931330_10158742252787534_5726845051896362492_n%2B%25282%2529.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"701\" data-original-width=\"942\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-dZQVaLYqQ2g\/YAmqgGkO8dI\/AAAAAAAA3l8\/89U3CYgtw0skkznRIsYFYqNhlKM3b7Y9QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/131931330_10158742252787534_5726845051896362492_n%2B%25282%2529.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ZYAuledFevk\/YAmqgHllQ5I\/AAAAAAAA3l4\/dISsF88RiVkGHbcUg7ne7N3wdDvE_0yuwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/140167632_10158819295332534_2902337476405376952_n.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"960\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ZYAuledFevk\/YAmqgHllQ5I\/AAAAAAAA3l4\/dISsF88RiVkGHbcUg7ne7N3wdDvE_0yuwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/140167632_10158819295332534_2902337476405376952_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-jPHGl2yIJoQ\/YAmy4cYvQxI\/AAAAAAAA3mM\/GLxfMKAkV1sjeRih8gx23MZRhpSrIhLIwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/140627179_10158819295602534_6299540545049303337_n.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"780\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-jPHGl2yIJoQ\/YAmy4cYvQxI\/AAAAAAAA3mM\/GLxfMKAkV1sjeRih8gx23MZRhpSrIhLIwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/140627179_10158819295602534_6299540545049303337_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-rv7RebGcFak\/YAmqf4lx8-I\/AAAAAAAA3l0\/AXP6lJFne1AHE994seO-3CX2SCmnbtV3ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/140322951_10158821099492534_4626651264901452923_n.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"900\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-rv7RebGcFak\/YAmqf4lx8-I\/AAAAAAAA3l0\/AXP6lJFne1AHE994seO-3CX2SCmnbtV3ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/140322951_10158821099492534_4626651264901452923_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" class=\"BLOG_video_class\" height=\"266\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/AR9YS3kOA6M\" width=\"320\" youtube-src-id=\"AR9YS3kOA6M\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EAnd now: The Blue Heeler\/Border Collie pups\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-rMCYXabO-Yw\/YAm51C4trsI\/AAAAAAAA3mU\/6KgSlQ90hSwj5YQ_rV-qJ_lxghdsXjxmgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Dixie%2527s%2Blittle%2Bbabies.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"960\" data-original-width=\"900\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-rMCYXabO-Yw\/YAm51C4trsI\/AAAAAAAA3mU\/6KgSlQ90hSwj5YQ_rV-qJ_lxghdsXjxmgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Dixie%2527s%2Blittle%2Bbabies.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-kzWocNrl5wA\/YAm65RYu_MI\/AAAAAAAA3mg\/vQZWfAHutgcq1g2uBBIgHgTe9ffGJxRRwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Arno%2Bwhat%2527s%2Bup.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"904\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-kzWocNrl5wA\/YAm65RYu_MI\/AAAAAAAA3mg\/vQZWfAHutgcq1g2uBBIgHgTe9ffGJxRRwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Arno%2Bwhat%2527s%2Bup.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1u4tQ80w5uE\/YAm65TQ7huI\/AAAAAAAA3mk\/MPa89Wth6RMrhWBrZIN_gNsUamOvS3G6QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Puppy%2Blife%2Bis%2Bexhausting.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"705\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1u4tQ80w5uE\/YAm65TQ7huI\/AAAAAAAA3mk\/MPa89Wth6RMrhWBrZIN_gNsUamOvS3G6QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Puppy%2Blife%2Bis%2Bexhausting.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-QfLUr7yC1oo\/YAm65TgpqSI\/AAAAAAAA3mc\/Vvwii4hXMHUY0qaP531RN2mm9thBcHR5ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Winky%2B3.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"960\" data-original-width=\"751\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-QfLUr7yC1oo\/YAm65TgpqSI\/AAAAAAAA3mc\/Vvwii4hXMHUY0qaP531RN2mm9thBcHR5ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Winky%2B3.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-GShV2Cy95dI\/YAm7NvBG3TI\/AAAAAAAA3m0\/0mrsH1rLdV0tSvEXQ6cmUBDm_sxVopltwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Amy%2B6.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1166\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-GShV2Cy95dI\/YAm7NvBG3TI\/AAAAAAAA3m0\/0mrsH1rLdV0tSvEXQ6cmUBDm_sxVopltwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Amy%2B6.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" class=\"BLOG_video_class\" height=\"266\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/RNKGaGWUoH4\" width=\"320\" youtube-src-id=\"RNKGaGWUoH4\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EIt's been a magical, if pee-soaked time! We'll miss these little buggers 💗\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci style=\"font-weight: 700;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/2966569149265192002\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/01\/8-weeks-in-puppy-heaven.html#comment-form","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/2966569149265192002"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/2966569149265192002"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/01\/8-weeks-in-puppy-heaven.html","title":"8 weeks in puppy heaven"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-PZEHta8Rrpk\/YAmjZjzY9RI\/AAAAAAAA3lQ\/Q8lMw-JtXjIJOPQc7zjvt5w2gs2x0F9KwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/140362096_10158821099557534_1031194472398211905_n.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-23738483081882495"},"published":{"$t":"2021-01-16T08:33:00.003-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-01-16T10:56:12.685-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"anniversary"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Harry Potter"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"love"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Our 16th wedding anniversary: Ron and Hermione edition"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-29blOkQMqt4\/YADjtG7MMqI\/AAAAAAAA3jo\/-mo2so4jv1AQR95J3XwTw2moHIvruhR-QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s666\/Ron%2Band%2BHermione%2B2.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"341\" data-original-width=\"666\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-29blOkQMqt4\/YADjtG7MMqI\/AAAAAAAA3jo\/-mo2so4jv1AQR95J3XwTw2moHIvruhR-QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Ron%2Band%2BHermione%2B2.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003ELast Sunday was our 16th wedding anniversary. In the week leading up to it we were in a state of married bliss. Everything was pink cotton-candy skies, puppies and rainbows, so when I started thinking about what I wanted to write about our marriage and the love we share, it was tooth-achingly sweet and annoying. I was sure to mention how\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/CJxgkOzDqs0\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EI had driven 600 km to pick up a tiny bird for him\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;the week before, and was fully prepared to drag out a few classics like the time he'd followed me to Wales to win me back. \u003Ci\u003E*yawn*\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003ELuckily, for the sake of this story,\u0026nbsp;\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;\"\u003Ewe had a big fight the day before our anniversary that carried over to the day of and lingered for several more days, so my romantic mood disappeared faster than you can say 'soulmate'.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;\"\u003EBad-tempered, I thought I would just ignore the blasted anniversary and move on to the next topic.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;\"\u003EBut then I started listening to Harry Potter\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;for the 53rd time (Harry Potter is my happy place), and for the first time ever,\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;Ron and Hermione's friendship reminded me of our relationship.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003EDuring my walks I kept finding more and more parallels between our relationships, and it cheered me up immensely.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003ESo much, in fact, that I decided it was worth writing it down.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EIf you've never read the books then you won't know the full scope of Ron and Hermione's relationship. They end up together (opposites attract!), but throughout their years at Hogwarts they bicker a LOT. And I mean, an INSANE amount. There are several times throughout the books where they are so mad at each other that they don't speak for \u003Ci\u003Eweeks\u003C\/i\u003E. That level of dedication\/stubbornness\u0026nbsp;is not something\u0026nbsp;I've ever been able to muster; even if I'm spitting mad, I cave after a few short hours and want us to make up again.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: start; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-OIaS50KSKMQ\/YADty5XlJZI\/AAAAAAAA3kE\/J916GaMFAg41XIYWOGcF6xvddzp_n4ycACLcBGAsYHQ\/s612\/Ron%2Band%2BHermione.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"402\" data-original-width=\"612\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-OIaS50KSKMQ\/YADty5XlJZI\/AAAAAAAA3kE\/J916GaMFAg41XIYWOGcF6xvddzp_n4ycACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Ron%2Band%2BHermione.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: start; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;\"\u003EHowever, there are definite similarities between Ron+Hermione and Rich+me, and in honour of our 16th anniversary, I'm going to highlight them:\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;\" \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cstrong style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;\"\u003EHermione and I are both neat; Ron and Rich are \u003Ci\u003Enot\u003C\/i\u003E.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/strong\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EHermione is as type A as it can get. She is an outstanding student who gets excellent grades, once achieving 320% in Muggle Studies. While my grades were never as good as hers, our work attitude and ambition are similar. I also have neat handwriting, like to be thorough\u0026nbsp;at whatever I'm doing, and write everything\u0026nbsp;down\u0026nbsp;in my planner and notebooks\u0026nbsp;(the equivalent to her homework planner).\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EIn contrast, both Ron and Rich are messy. They have a much more laid-back attitude\u0026nbsp;to work and life, share their terrible handwriting, and don't take school\/work\/life as seriously as\u0026nbsp;Hermione and I do.\u0026nbsp;Having such\u0026nbsp;opposite approaches can\u0026nbsp;create tension,\u0026nbsp;which it does in both relationships. However, it also creates a much-needed balance for all parties involved. Hermione and I often worry too much, so having our much more easy-going counterparts is important to help us relax.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EWe disagree about pets.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EHermione and Ron have a huge fight about their pets in book 3. Hermione's cat Crookshanks hates Ron's rat Scabbers (for very good reason, as is revealed at the end of the book). However, until we get there, their friendship is in serious trouble about the issue of their pets.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003ERich and I also disagree about pets. Mainly, about the number of them. To be more accurate, I have a finite number in mind for every species we own, whereas Richard is more of a free agent. He has a bucket list of every animal he ever wanted, and he's not afraid to collect them, convention be damned.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"\u003EHis \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003Ephilosophy\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;is that life is short, and that he's never had more time than he has right now, so now's the time to make all his dreams come true.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;\"\u003EWhile I admire his free spirit, my inner Hermione-ness makes me fight this side of him. I always want to make everything smaller; he wants to expand.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-n4OIFc7nNwc\/YAEUxaHg7xI\/AAAAAAAA3kU\/1OS1s2OKlv8fxPee0W2WR2TShTLZyyp6ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s612\/Ron%2Band%2BHermione%2Bas%2BRich%2Band%2Bme.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"402\" data-original-width=\"612\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-n4OIFc7nNwc\/YAEUxaHg7xI\/AAAAAAAA3kU\/1OS1s2OKlv8fxPee0W2WR2TShTLZyyp6ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Ron%2Band%2BHermione%2Bas%2BRich%2Band%2Bme.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; font-size: 12pt; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EWe crave order; they revel in chaos.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EHermione is all about \u003C\/span\u003Eobeying\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;rules. She has broken them only on rare occasions when she thought it \u003C\/span\u003Ewould\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;serve the greater good\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E(i.e. when she thought she could find out who was causing all the attacks on muggle-borns in the 2nd book), but her default is respecting and following rules. As much as I hate to admit it, long \u003C\/span\u003Eexperience\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;has shown me that I am a rule-follower as well.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EI feel best when I'm staying within the boundaries and under the radar.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EBut Ron\/Rich don't operate that way. They follow their own instincts, and if they fall outside the rules, they're not bothered much. What would be a major stumbling block for me and Hermione, is just a minor \u003C\/span\u003Einconvenience\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;to them. If their own goals\/priorities fall outside of what's considered \u003C\/span\u003Eappropriate\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E, they simply \u003C\/span\u003Edisregard the norm\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EAgain, as much as I admire it, I have a problem with it. I continually \u003C\/span\u003Estruggle\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003Ebetween\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003Ewanting\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;to be more free-\u003C\/span\u003Espirited\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;and wanting to reign\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;him in.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit; font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EThey love sports; we love books.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003ERon is crazy about Quidditch, and Rich can watch soccer for hours. Hermione and I don't much care for sports, preferring to spend our time reading. I know that some couples like to do everything together, but Rich and I have never been that way. I need solitude and personal space, and love nothing more than emerging myself in a new (or old) story and hanging out with my fictional friends.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003ERich loves to be alone with his animals and his thoughts. He can spend hours outside, taking care of his animals, watching them, and simply enjoying them. It's a form of meditation for him, and nothing relaxes him more than spending time with them.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003ERich is the person I can be most myself with, and vice versa. Nobody has ever understood me like he does, and he says the same about me. We are always in each other's corner, the biggest cheerleader and fan, and support each other in chasing all our big and small dreams.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003EAfter 18 years together, of course we bicker. Of course we get frustrated and mad and annoyed. It's \u003Cb\u003Enormal\u003C\/b\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003EBut he's still my favourite person in the world, the only one I want to grow old (or in his case, \u003Ci\u003Eolder\u003C\/i\u003E) with.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EHappy (belated) anniversary babe. There's nobody else I'd rather get mad at for not cleaning up the puppies' pee properly.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EPrevious anniversary posts:\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/01\/15-years-of-marriage.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003E15 years\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cbr style=\"background-color: white; font-style: normal;\" \/\u003E\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2019\/02\/marriage-is-not-all-hearts-and-smiling.html\" style=\"background-color: white; color: #c71818; font-style: normal; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; text-decoration-line: none; transition: all 0.25s ease-out 0s;\" target=\"_blank\"\u003E14 years\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit; font-size: small;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2018\/01\/it-just-keeps-getting-better.html\" style=\"background-color: white; color: #c71818; font-style: normal; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; text-decoration-line: none; transition: all 0.25s ease-out 0s;\" target=\"_blank\"\u003E13 years\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cbr style=\"background-color: white; font-style: normal;\" \/\u003E\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2017\/01\/a-dozen-years.html\" style=\"background-color: white; color: #c71818; font-style: normal; margin: 0px; max-width: 100%; text-decoration-line: none; transition: all 0.25s ease-out 0s;\" target=\"_blank\"\u003E12 years\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003ETop image:\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.hypable.com\/ron-hermione-couple-dueling-column\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Esource\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003ESecond image:\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/ew.com\/article\/2014\/02\/03\/j-k-rowling-ron-hermione-harry-potter\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Esource\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/23738483081882495\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/01\/our-16th-wedding-anniversary-ron-and.html#comment-form","title":"4 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/23738483081882495"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/23738483081882495"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/01\/our-16th-wedding-anniversary-ron-and.html","title":"Our 16th wedding anniversary: Ron and Hermione edition"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-29blOkQMqt4\/YADjtG7MMqI\/AAAAAAAA3jo\/-mo2so4jv1AQR95J3XwTw2moHIvruhR-QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Ron%2Band%2BHermione%2B2.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"4"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-5528866537839071090"},"published":{"$t":"2021-01-03T20:23:00.004-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-01-03T20:34:39.264-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life lessons"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"mindfulness"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"How mindfulness set me free"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-mdM5Xhcuviw\/X_Hsi30z3fI\/AAAAAAAA3iQ\/_AY9FvwES9AvkOOJKoKPN30BylRAr3G-gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/New%2Bdawn.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-mdM5Xhcuviw\/X_Hsi30z3fI\/AAAAAAAA3iQ\/_AY9FvwES9AvkOOJKoKPN30BylRAr3G-gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/New%2Bdawn.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhen I moved to Canada in January 2003, I came with only one suitcase. I left almost all my worldly possessions back in Germany to start over in a new country with a new man. It was the classic fresh start, one I had been dreaming about for years. The previous 18 months had been the worst ones of my life, and I couldn't wait to start life over. New place, new life, right?\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ENot quite. A few unwelcome passengers had hitched a ride in my one suitcase, so stealthily that I didn't notice them for a while. I was high on new love, new people and new beginnings, and I thought that I had left my past and my problems behind me. I was 23 and didn't know any better - I thought a change of scenery was all you needed for a new and improved life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-avlX1GT5tu8\/X_JskiV00PI\/AAAAAAAA3ic\/18Gf2oUuvvMT2_P81HhXGXkb00ZxtNxjwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Stiff%2BJanuary%2Bbreeze.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-avlX1GT5tu8\/X_JskiV00PI\/AAAAAAAA3ic\/18Gf2oUuvvMT2_P81HhXGXkb00ZxtNxjwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Stiff%2BJanuary%2Bbreeze.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EFast-forward to a random day at school in 2008 when I had to invent a reason for bursting into tears, because I was crying without knowing why.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EFast-forward to the fall of 2012 when my husband took me to our doctor because my mood swings and depression had gotten so bad that it was threatening our relationship.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EFast-forward to the spring of 2019 when I was sitting in another doctor's office, tears silently dripping down my chin, beseeching the young resident to help me. The antidepressants I had been taking for 7 years seemed to have stopped working.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EFast-forward to last year, when I was so scared some days that I was irrationally afraid of picking up the phone, opening the door, or seeing anybody. That fear, combined with the worry that I would have to add anxiety to my already full plate of \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2013\/04\/about-sadness.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Edepression\u003C\/a\u003E and\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2019\/06\/what-is-pmdd.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPMDD\u003C\/a\u003E, were what finally made me seek therapy.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt was in therapy where I found out about the sneaky passengers that had travelled with me from Germany. I had thought that I had left them behind me long ago - but of course, I hadn't. I had never confronted them.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThey were the reason for my fears, my worries, my need to please and my craving for outside approval. I had carried them faithfully with me throughout all my growth and triumphs, the victories and successes, right into the beautiful life I had created with my love.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThey had become heavy. So heavy that they impacted my daily life. I wanted to let go of that burden, and there was only one way to do it: I had to face my demons.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-3gWefiWPUfw\/X_Jzai9UKvI\/AAAAAAAA3ik\/QHwjWjEr-PoDoPjmdd_zVunYmN1n_ILygCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/135901644_10158784380192534_4470569794613049425_o.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-3gWefiWPUfw\/X_Jzai9UKvI\/AAAAAAAA3ik\/QHwjWjEr-PoDoPjmdd_zVunYmN1n_ILygCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/135901644_10158784380192534_4470569794613049425_o.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ETogether with my therapist, we unpacked one demon after another who had been hiding in the darkness and safety of my mind for all these years. I was scared: I had never properly faced them, but stuffed them deep into the darkest corners of my mind, hoping they would wither and die. Instead they had been lying in wait, surfacing once every few months or years when I felt particularly vulnerable or emotional, feeding on my fears and my insecurities. Those times were so unpleasant that I never looked at them properly, too afraid of them. Instead I stuck my head in the sand like an ostrich, in the futile hope that if I couldn't see them, they couldn't see me.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMy refusal to drag my demons into the light and face them was what gave them the power they had. When my therapist figuratively took me by the hand and led me to them, gently but persistently, I saw them clearly for the first time since I was a child and young adult.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThey were - smaller than I remembered. Mostly things that happened to the child-me, decades ago. By never releasing them, they had grown disproportionately in the murkiness of my subconscious. Incidents that had hurt me 30 years ago that I never dealt with were continuously superimposed onto other people. I gave these people power they didn't have because I had never let go of the pain that had been inflicted on me a long time ago. Instead I had let it grow and fester, projecting my past hurt onto new people and opening up old wounds again and again.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ak3J6Xd4tIM\/X_J7Pdl3OxI\/AAAAAAAA3is\/445HWm26i0khyCBgxpINcFzMmXE7iHEswCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/134436469_10158784464252534_7379102554619271515_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ak3J6Xd4tIM\/X_J7Pdl3OxI\/AAAAAAAA3is\/445HWm26i0khyCBgxpINcFzMmXE7iHEswCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/134436469_10158784464252534_7379102554619271515_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut it wasn't too late. I could let go of stuff no matter how big it was or how long ago it had happened. I had been dragging my past around with me, but I could put it down - right then and there.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOver several weeks we took one sneaky passenger after another out of the suitcase, examined them by the light of day, and then I put them down - forever. No grudges, no regrets.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWith every demon I put to rest, I felt lighter and more free. It's a feeling that has only intensified over the past several months, because I l acquired a tool that has been hugely empowering: \u003Cb\u003Emindfulness\u003C\/b\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've heard of it before, of course. You can't be a yogi and not have been told (with an enthusiasm bordering on ecstasy) how \u003Ci\u003Elife-changing \u003C\/i\u003Eand \u003Ci\u003Eamazing \u003C\/i\u003Emindfulness is. But to me it was in the same league as hemp products, veganism and green smoothies: something hippie-dippie yogis were into, but not for me.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWell, joke's on me. Here I am, about to tell you how\u0026nbsp;\u003Ci\u003Elife-changing\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003Eand\u0026nbsp;\u003Ci\u003Eamazing\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003Emindfulness is. Maybe balancing my chakras is the next step? I'm not going to rule anything out anymore, so who knows.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhat is mindfulness? I like simple explanations, and \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.groundbreakingwork.com\/mindfulness.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ethis one\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;is what makes the most sense to me:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cblockquote\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\"Mindfulness is moment-by-moment awareness (and acceptance) of thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and the surrounding environment, without judgment.\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/blockquote\u003E\u003Cblockquote\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ci\u003EMindfulness focuses the mind on what is being sensed at each moment, instead of thinking of the past or of the future.\"\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/blockquote\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHere's an example: a couple of weeks ago, I had an unpleasant encounter with someone. That person said a few things that were more baffling than upsetting, but within the context of our history my immediate reaction was to question myself and my value as a person. Did I do something wrong? Had I really been hurtful? Was I a selfish person? Should I apologize?\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut then I went for a walk with Lily, and I said aloud everything I was feeling (I find that saying stuff out loud or writing it down makes it clearer to me what's going on in my head):\u003Cbr \/\u003E\"I'm feeling confused and hurt. I'm questioning myself. Am I a bad person? I don't want to be a bad person. Why am I giving this person so much power over me?\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI didn't judge myself for these thoughts. I put them out there neutrally, and then I answered them one by one:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"It's okay to feel confused and hurt. But I can let this feeling go.\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"It's okay to question myself. But I acted true to myself and according to what felt right.\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"I am not a bad person.\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"It's my choice how much power I give to other people. I can take it away right now.\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-d3xiqngMV6Q\/X_KEtZQ89gI\/AAAAAAAA3i4\/6ZpVyUsEXRU98h_TnGrlB-qnjwHeixPCACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/135884777_10158784464412534_2201591968050205787_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-d3xiqngMV6Q\/X_KEtZQ89gI\/AAAAAAAA3i4\/6ZpVyUsEXRU98h_TnGrlB-qnjwHeixPCACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/135884777_10158784464412534_2201591968050205787_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI do this all the time. Daily. I take notice of the thoughts or impulses that are disturbing me, and I stop and pause. I take them out of the shadows and shine a light on them, state what they are and how they make me feel. And when they don't serve me, \u003Cb\u003EI let them go\u003C\/b\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhen people ask me to do something for them, I pause and think before I automatically say yes. If I need time, I literally say: \"Let me think about it and I'll get back to you.\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMy urge to please is rapidly being replaced by the desire to be and act true to myself. If it doesn't feel right, I won't do it just because you want me to.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMy fear of upsetting people is being replaced by the knowledge that I have no control over other people's reactions, thoughts or acts. They are not my responsibility.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe only thing I can control are my own actions, thoughts and acts, and I'm the only one responsible for them. I won't give that power to anybody else ever again.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-S_2EX5MUZME\/X_KVr1GlYWI\/AAAAAAAA3jE\/h1SjuBUkMqcI9G48IcwVO6QseGoL8cAKACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/136070955_10158784464137534_3596911439646830573_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-S_2EX5MUZME\/X_KVr1GlYWI\/AAAAAAAA3jE\/h1SjuBUkMqcI9G48IcwVO6QseGoL8cAKACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/136070955_10158784464137534_3596911439646830573_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EBeing aware of my surroundings and bodily sensations is giving me newfound joy countless times every day. I love finding the beauty in a cloud formation, the coyote running over the field, our pigeons soaring above the ranch or the animals enjoying themselves in the snow. Feeling my muscles working when I'm walking briskly, my lungs filling with air and my cheeks reddening in the cold makes me feel so good and proud of my body. It's healthy, helping me to experience the world around me and carrying me wherever I want to go.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EBeing mindful helps us being aware of what we're sensing at any given moment. It's opening up our closed-off mind to the world.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EIt's like waking up after having been asleep for ages, plagued by occasional nightmares.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI'm wide awake now - and the view is beautiful.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/5528866537839071090\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/01\/how-mindfulness-set-me-free.html#comment-form","title":"8 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/5528866537839071090"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/5528866537839071090"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/01\/how-mindfulness-set-me-free.html","title":"How mindfulness set me free"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-mdM5Xhcuviw\/X_Hsi30z3fI\/AAAAAAAA3iQ\/_AY9FvwES9AvkOOJKoKPN30BylRAr3G-gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/New%2Bdawn.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"8"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-3496410411590356527"},"published":{"$t":"2021-01-01T10:46:00.007-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-01-02T07:20:25.479-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"2020"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"best of"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life lessons"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Best and worst of 2020"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-3BTMYg0Svnc\/X-oLbJEvdGI\/AAAAAAAA3gc\/40NjSYM4c9krQn3PVe0VUyAyV6-j7brUgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Blue%2Bskies.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-3BTMYg0Svnc\/X-oLbJEvdGI\/AAAAAAAA3gc\/40NjSYM4c9krQn3PVe0VUyAyV6-j7brUgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Blue%2Bskies.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHappy New Year! It's the first day of a brand-new year, but before I look ahead, I like to look back at the previous 12 months. For all our sanity's sake, I'm not going to use the C-word in this post. It's hard enough living with it, no need to make it worse by excessively talking about it. Here are some of the good and not-so-good things that happened:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cu\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003ELet's start with the good:\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/u\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cb\u003EI got a permanent job!\u003C\/b\u003E In May I finally got a permanent x-ray position in the sweetest little town. It's my first permanent position since our move 4 years ago! It's part-time, I'm my own boss (well, sort of: I do have a boss, but he's 100 km away 😉), and the town is picture-perfect:\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-fMA_6OcZsKk\/X-oQV1GAKXI\/AAAAAAAA3gs\/wyupMPvUF_spBADv7ksxq_i1d3RjZ72mgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Ashcroft%2Bchurch%2B2.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-fMA_6OcZsKk\/X-oQV1GAKXI\/AAAAAAAA3gs\/wyupMPvUF_spBADv7ksxq_i1d3RjZ72mgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Ashcroft%2Bchurch%2B2.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-OhMdOz19eiI\/X-oQWC8-PrI\/AAAAAAAA3gw\/eMlGs900KlUOqNr-mw5_zIS04VVqci2OACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Ashcroft%2Bold%2Brailway%2Bcar.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-OhMdOz19eiI\/X-oQWC8-PrI\/AAAAAAAA3gw\/eMlGs900KlUOqNr-mw5_zIS04VVqci2OACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Ashcroft%2Bold%2Brailway%2Bcar.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-KuRGNExXiB8\/X-oQoZmo2MI\/AAAAAAAA3g4\/pRxVyu9sg3YpxWJowweqet5k35H9j9b-QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Bakery.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"875\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-KuRGNExXiB8\/X-oQoZmo2MI\/AAAAAAAA3g4\/pRxVyu9sg3YpxWJowweqet5k35H9j9b-QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Bakery.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003EPuppies!\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E We currently have 9 giant puppies running around the ranch, and it's the best. They've taken over not only our lives and hearts, but also my\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; font-weight: bold; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-fzaWCynfays\/X-oOLVap4QI\/AAAAAAAA3gk\/Ymbyqyzjlx07sa-uYhvLbkqzuIBTpfydACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Best%2Bof%2B2020%2Bon%2BInstagram.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-fzaWCynfays\/X-oOLVap4QI\/AAAAAAAA3gk\/Ymbyqyzjlx07sa-uYhvLbkqzuIBTpfydACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Best%2Bof%2B2020%2Bon%2BInstagram.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EI obviously made several videos:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" class=\"BLOG_video_class\" height=\"266\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/GcZ5SABKmYo\" width=\"320\" youtube-src-id=\"GcZ5SABKmYo\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E(For more, take a look at my\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCSQkMhAkFqEW2zxFMnES51g\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EYouTube channel\u003C\/a\u003E.) \u0026nbsp;They're 6 weeks old, eat insane amounts of food, and they're so much fun!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003EWalking daily.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E About 3 or 4 months ago I started going on daily walks during my lunch break. I never thought I would be one of those people who wants to move instead of plopping herself down at break time, but I really needed it. With the short days and the long commute, I didn't have day light left when I got home, and I crave sunlight and fresh air daily, especially after being cooped up inside for a few hours.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMy mental health has improved dramatically, my breathing has gotten better, and my resting heart rate has improved! I have more energy, I'm a lot happier and calmer, and I sleep better at night. Walking is my happy place.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-54DQZkJRxhI\/X-02Hev9brI\/AAAAAAAA3hE\/K8ZnsRb19H46C9F3tGpcf-YNPYr3YjuewCLcBGAsYHQ\/s537\/Rock%2Bwalker.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"422\" data-original-width=\"537\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-54DQZkJRxhI\/X-02Hev9brI\/AAAAAAAA3hE\/K8ZnsRb19H46C9F3tGpcf-YNPYr3YjuewCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Rock%2Bwalker.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003ETherapy.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E After years of suspecting that I may benefit from therapy, I finally took the plunge this year. I was very reluctant for many reasons, but mainly because I was afraid. Isn't fear such a bitch? The unknown is scary, asking for help is scary, and revealing your demons is scary. I'm not saying it was easy (I would feel completely drained after a session), but man, is it ever worth it!! I found out a few mind-boggling facts about my childhood, learnt a bunch of stuff about myself I never knew, and I've been given a set of tools I use \u003Ci\u003Eevery single day\u003C\/i\u003E. It was the best thing I did for myself (and my relationships) this year.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ms1B9h_FzQA\/X9GSDwVzJKI\/AAAAAAAA3cI\/kVLnSfmoP2Qwfd2x2MtlGFJpO0CwPs32gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Sunset.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ms1B9h_FzQA\/X9GSDwVzJKI\/AAAAAAAA3cI\/kVLnSfmoP2Qwfd2x2MtlGFJpO0CwPs32gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Sunset.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium; font-weight: bold;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003EHammock time.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E Even though our (along with everybody else's) vacation got cancelled, we still had plenty of down time in Puerta Veranda and Playa Backyardia. Spending time at home hasn't been a hardship for us.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-3LqC1Yh43U4\/X9Gymf9rK7I\/AAAAAAAA3c4\/h9crSlrcKQI3tLWtu0bs3aMq6qjowjFawCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1399\/Hammock-Rich%2Bedited.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"785\" data-original-width=\"1399\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-3LqC1Yh43U4\/X9Gymf9rK7I\/AAAAAAAA3c4\/h9crSlrcKQI3tLWtu0bs3aMq6qjowjFawCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Hammock-Rich%2Bedited.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-UsbDm8eMIeo\/X-063TzjjMI\/AAAAAAAA3hM\/2kAybQfBmNgCW4k6m13KNW1Lsn9AUanBQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Splish%2Bsplash%2Bin%2Bthe%2Bpool%2B3.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1603\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-UsbDm8eMIeo\/X-063TzjjMI\/AAAAAAAA3hM\/2kAybQfBmNgCW4k6m13KNW1Lsn9AUanBQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Splish%2Bsplash%2Bin%2Bthe%2Bpool%2B3.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-7Be3v0gU6W8\/X-07etlu1aI\/AAAAAAAA3hU\/wGlLX6xtPjMNvbus4qCufEZLZHFLFuakACLcBGAsYHQ\/s936\/The%2Bbest%2Bgolden%2Bspot%2Bin%2Bthe%2Bhouse%2Bwith%2BLilly%2Bon%2Bmy%2Blap.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"936\" data-original-width=\"936\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-7Be3v0gU6W8\/X-07etlu1aI\/AAAAAAAA3hU\/wGlLX6xtPjMNvbus4qCufEZLZHFLFuakACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/The%2Bbest%2Bgolden%2Bspot%2Bin%2Bthe%2Bhouse%2Bwith%2BLilly%2Bon%2Bmy%2Blap.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003EFinding proper medication for my asthma.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E After 3+ years of wheezing and shortness of breath, I have finally found an inhaler that works for me! For the past 2 months I've been using Symbicort, and it helps a lot. Plus, I'm convinced that my daily walks are good for my lungs as well, and for the first time in years I feel that I have my adult-onset asthma under control. Yay!\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-AYjSmWOf2M8\/X9GccgMb6QI\/AAAAAAAA3cY\/56JP7Jcds_MnogSTn_a9yc8vm63d2XmygCLcBGAsYHQ\/s528\/Healthcare%2Bhero%2Bedited.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"453\" data-original-width=\"528\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-AYjSmWOf2M8\/X9GccgMb6QI\/AAAAAAAA3cY\/56JP7Jcds_MnogSTn_a9yc8vm63d2XmygCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Healthcare%2Bhero%2Bedited.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium; font-weight: bold;\"\u003EStaying in touch with friends and family. \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EDespite the pandemic, we deepened the relationships that are most important to us. Shout out to face-time, WhatsApp and instant messaging!\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003EBecoming braver.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E My long-term goal is to be less afraid. I worry a lot, especially about things or people I can't change, and I'm always working towards changing that. 2020 helped me to get one step closer to that goal! I'm not as afraid of confrontation anymore, and I'm learning to stand up for myself. It's baby steps, but they're steps into the right direction.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Ad4aJUMD-rE\/X9GXbr3MB2I\/AAAAAAAA3cQ\/liAcqKPM5hwNLDk3Xsr5svGch2Bjdrx8gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Sleepy%2BPetey.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"765\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Ad4aJUMD-rE\/X9GXbr3MB2I\/AAAAAAAA3cQ\/liAcqKPM5hwNLDk3Xsr5svGch2Bjdrx8gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Sleepy%2BPetey.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cu\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003EThere was also some bad:\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/u\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cu\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/u\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003EWe had 2 deaths in our family and close friends in less than a week. \u003C\/b\u003EOne we saw coming, the other was completely\u0026nbsp;unexpected. It happened less than a month ago, we are still processing.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-d1ozElK5NLs\/X-9rB1Cft7I\/AAAAAAAA3hg\/YKpaAoZ5C6gX3j3GS1LgFEYKrO_YHIFggCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Summer%2Bat%2Bthe%2Bfarm.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"679\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-d1ozElK5NLs\/X-9rB1Cft7I\/AAAAAAAA3hg\/YKpaAoZ5C6gX3j3GS1LgFEYKrO_YHIFggCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Summer%2Bat%2Bthe%2Bfarm.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/08\/big-bear-and-little-bear.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EBear passed away.\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;My beloved big Bear closed his eyes for the last time in May.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-yt7gRmYpKPY\/X9GyySFwNuI\/AAAAAAAA3c8\/lTKcSq4S8YQGK33AFVSiNHtuuelnh5f6QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Halloween%2Bportrait.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-yt7gRmYpKPY\/X9GyySFwNuI\/AAAAAAAA3c8\/lTKcSq4S8YQGK33AFVSiNHtuuelnh5f6QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Halloween%2Bportrait.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EPainful lessons. \u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003EI learnt a few lessons this past year about people that were tough at the time. I cried many tears, but with a few months distance I'm glad I went through this. I think I came out stronger and wiser.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAs I have for the past few years, I took another 1-second-everyday video with\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1se.co\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ethis app\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;I just love them!\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" class=\"BLOG_video_class\" height=\"266\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/EClMMMiXGLc\" width=\"320\" youtube-src-id=\"EClMMMiXGLc\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;Cheers to a new year with new hopes, dreams, and vaccines!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/3496410411590356527\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/01\/best-and-worst-of-2020.html#comment-form","title":"4 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3496410411590356527"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3496410411590356527"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2021\/01\/best-and-worst-of-2020.html","title":"Best and worst of 2020"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-3BTMYg0Svnc\/X-oLbJEvdGI\/AAAAAAAA3gc\/40NjSYM4c9krQn3PVe0VUyAyV6-j7brUgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Blue%2Bskies.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"4"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-2812841652264329727"},"published":{"$t":"2020-12-24T19:15:00.004-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-12-24T20:47:05.841-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Christmas"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life lessons"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"real life"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Merry snow day, Christmas,  and happy lower expectations!"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-TpZUPrKVW9g\/X-VOlQfT_JI\/AAAAAAAA3gE\/rhVudsqKbikqB6bVGJUERgbiYrDxJyD-QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Winter%2Bwonderland.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-TpZUPrKVW9g\/X-VOlQfT_JI\/AAAAAAAA3gE\/rhVudsqKbikqB6bVGJUERgbiYrDxJyD-QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Winter%2Bwonderland.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt started snowing in the morning. At first, it looked like it would just be a dusting; enough to cover the worst of the brown, bland landscape, but not enough to interfere with normal life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut it kept snowing.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd snowing.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EAnd\u003C\/i\u003E snowing.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd inch by inch, it covered it all up: the stress of the last few weeks. The memories that were so painful. The obligations we thought we still had: the gifts we needed to shop for, the cards we never wrote (for the fourth year in a row), the trips we thought we had to make, the jobs we had to get to.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt all got covered by ever-growing inches of fresh, pure, white snow. And with every inch that accumulated outside, my shoulders inched down, and my stress level decreased.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd that's why I \u003Ci\u003Elove\u003C\/i\u003E snow.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Ecg716_wPnA\/X-VNn1TEVBI\/AAAAAAAA3f0\/1PZYsovLzJEvl7pqAN0loBNKOwAjbxxPQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s600\/Winter%2Bsunset%2Bextravaganza.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"338\" data-original-width=\"600\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Ecg716_wPnA\/X-VNn1TEVBI\/AAAAAAAA3f0\/1PZYsovLzJEvl7pqAN0loBNKOwAjbxxPQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Winter%2Bsunset%2Bextravaganza.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EIt covers up reality. And for a little while, you can claim snow day. Who doesn't love a snow day?\u003Cbr \/\u003EYou can play hooky from responsibilities and blame it all on unstable road conditions, power outages, and the snow interrupting normal life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe \u003Ci\u003Eneed\u003C\/i\u003E something to interrupt normal life. We need a break. And we need some magic in our serious, worse-than-advertised grown-up lives. Snow is the magic fairy that's providing it all.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe unpredictability is part of the magic. As is the inconvenience of it. It wouldn't be half as special if the roads would still be clear, the postal service would operate as per usual, and we would just go about life as we always do.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ENo, this amount of snow is interrupting normal life in a \u003Ci\u003Ebig\u003C\/i\u003E way. It took us hours to clear paths to get to all the animal pens. Half the water lines are frozen, so we have to carry water buckets. The animals need more food than normal to make up for the extra calories they burn to stay warm in -12 degrees temperatures. Getting into town takes twice as long because the roads are so bad.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESnow is a serious inconvenience.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd I \u003Ci\u003Elove\u003C\/i\u003E it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-5T3lk14mRzc\/X-VSryfXocI\/AAAAAAAA3gM\/1RVBY7Lk37A5JAN-MAiYGucfnvXW8fdMACLcBGAsYHQ\/s727\/Colourful%2Bsnow%2B%25282%2529.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"727\" data-original-width=\"523\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-5T3lk14mRzc\/X-VSryfXocI\/AAAAAAAA3gM\/1RVBY7Lk37A5JAN-MAiYGucfnvXW8fdMACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Colourful%2Bsnow%2B%25282%2529.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EWhat's more satisfying than having normal life being interrupted by forces out of our control? Not much, I can tell you.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EJust like many of you, we've faced some hardships this year.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut we've also experienced some great personal triumphs.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI will share soon, but not tonight.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ENone of this matters right now, with the beautiful cover of snow blanketing it all.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-A2Bywfwdar4\/X-VVEjdQJAI\/AAAAAAAA3gU\/QzAQ2qgMoeAbufkceflJypsVUV9aht-KwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Winter%2Bsunset.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-A2Bywfwdar4\/X-VVEjdQJAI\/AAAAAAAA3gU\/QzAQ2qgMoeAbufkceflJypsVUV9aht-KwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Winter%2Bsunset.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ETonight, I'm grateful for living here, in Merritt, for the last 4 years. They have been the best 4 years of my life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm grateful for WhatsApp, texting, Instagram direct messaging, and all the other ways of communicating with people on our phones. Honestly, \u003Cb\u003EI've never communicated with the people I love the most as much a I have this year.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHaving the option (=pressure) of meeting up for real taken away, I have lost all my inhibitions. I love my people, but I find meeting up IRL really stressful. It's not the actual meeting-up part - it's all the planning that goes into it before. Not having to worry about it this year made me feel free to message to my heart's content! We've \"seen\" (virtually) more of each other this year than we ever have before.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EFor introverts like me, 2020 has been a blessing in this regard.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" class=\"BLOG_video_class\" height=\"266\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/1ORb49-Iv8o\" width=\"320\" youtube-src-id=\"1ORb49-Iv8o\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EKeep your expectations low, your glasses filled high, and your boots above snow level!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMerry Christmas, merry snow day, and cheers to low expectations that \u003Ci\u003Ecan\u003C\/i\u003E be surpassed!\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ELove, Miriam\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/2812841652264329727\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/12\/merry-snow-day-christmas-and-happy.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/2812841652264329727"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/2812841652264329727"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/12\/merry-snow-day-christmas-and-happy.html","title":"Merry snow day, Christmas,  and happy lower expectations!"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-TpZUPrKVW9g\/X-VOlQfT_JI\/AAAAAAAA3gE\/rhVudsqKbikqB6bVGJUERgbiYrDxJyD-QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Winter%2Bwonderland.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-2130971700381219852"},"published":{"$t":"2020-12-12T14:10:00.002-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-12-12T14:13:13.642-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Christmas"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"collaboration"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"love"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"A very special necklace"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-DGLJ_cjG2L0\/X9UC4NhOQsI\/AAAAAAAA3dc\/o89wJBNTaLkraQk0Bj_iN3wNZv7wUuMxwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Rich%2527s%2Bnecklace%2Bclose-up.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-DGLJ_cjG2L0\/X9UC4NhOQsI\/AAAAAAAA3dc\/o89wJBNTaLkraQk0Bj_iN3wNZv7wUuMxwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Rich%2527s%2Bnecklace%2Bclose-up.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've collaborated with\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.onecklace.ca\/?utm_source=google\u0026amp;utm_medium=cpc\u0026amp;utm_campaign=klg-search-US-brand\u0026amp;utm_term=onecklace%20canada\u0026amp;utm_content=474937541018\u0026amp;matchtype=e\u0026amp;network=g\u0026amp;device=c\u0026amp;gclid=Cj0KCQiA8dH-BRD_ARIsAC24umbRcVSt9GBoP2eusI9xU1NVFyMFiGDP_-BEvjriLzdycnZQZFbxmbYaAtIKEALw_wcB\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EoNecklace\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;twice before, so when they approached me a couple of months ago and asked if I'd like to work with them again for Christmas, I didn't hesitate.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI knew that I wanted a circle necklace, and then I found one that was really special:\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.onecklace.ca\/?utm_source=google\u0026amp;utm_medium=cpc\u0026amp;utm_campaign=klg-search-US-brand\u0026amp;utm_term=onecklace%20canada\u0026amp;utm_content=474937541018\u0026amp;matchtype=e\u0026amp;network=g\u0026amp;device=c\u0026amp;gclid=Cj0KCQiA8dH-BRD_ARIsAC24umbRcVSt9GBoP2eusI9xU1NVFyMFiGDP_-BEvjriLzdycnZQZFbxmbYaAtIKEALw_wcB\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ea necklace with a signature engraved\u003C\/a\u003E.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-h-AmWEUZkFs\/X9UaAlWiYJI\/AAAAAAAA3dk\/XonLbcQIcHosmFvAWE286D7q2EHrvquNQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s729\/Close-up.png\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"444\" data-original-width=\"729\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-h-AmWEUZkFs\/X9UaAlWiYJI\/AAAAAAAA3dk\/XonLbcQIcHosmFvAWE286D7q2EHrvquNQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Close-up.png\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm a romantic at heart, and I love the idea of having a piece of my husband with me every day. Since he refuses to give me his blood to carry around in a vial (remember when Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie did that?), having his signature close to my heart is the next best option. Ever since it arrived about 6 weeks ago I've been wearing this necklace almost every day - it's so special.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Wy3lIQgF7Nk\/X9U7BbDJBHI\/AAAAAAAA3d4\/gbBJOKQZgigHmOKZUDCsUD87bysvEJTPwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Russian%2Bprincess.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Wy3lIQgF7Nk\/X9U7BbDJBHI\/AAAAAAAA3d4\/gbBJOKQZgigHmOKZUDCsUD87bysvEJTPwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Russian%2Bprincess.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ipGPGbUGja0\/X9U7OKZn3mI\/AAAAAAAA3d8\/fBuL-_JdsjU3c5oknnbP7oIt2mQpSKBDwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1092\/Necklace%2Bclose%2Bup.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"561\" data-original-width=\"1092\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ipGPGbUGja0\/X9U7OKZn3mI\/AAAAAAAA3d8\/fBuL-_JdsjU3c5oknnbP7oIt2mQpSKBDwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Necklace%2Bclose%2Bup.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003EIf you're still looking for Christmas presents, I highly recommend something personal like the\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.onecklace.ca\/necklace-with-signature-engraved\/?material=gold_plated\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Esignature necklace\u003C\/a\u003E. Or how about you turn \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.onecklace.ca\/kids-drawing-necklace\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eone of your kid's drawings into a necklace\u003C\/a\u003E?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-cWjUnvSfKUY\/X9U9OndquyI\/AAAAAAAA3eM\/kG1n6IYdMDUgY52cSFVil827MWXixXrBgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s730\/product_2465_information_1_730.jpeg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"730\" data-original-width=\"730\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-cWjUnvSfKUY\/X9U9OndquyI\/AAAAAAAA3eM\/kG1n6IYdMDUgY52cSFVil827MWXixXrBgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/product_2465_information_1_730.jpeg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAdorable.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EoNecklace guarantees delivery before Christmas, and you can shop from the comfort of your couch - it's a win\/win!\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-2JeR7hdGsuk\/X9U_iqBZ7XI\/AAAAAAAA3ek\/arMNzKIZZhkcZo6rwQ83hrj4BldoRKdigCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Me%2Bwith%2BRich%2527s%2Bsignature%2Bnecklace.png\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1387\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-2JeR7hdGsuk\/X9U_iqBZ7XI\/AAAAAAAA3ek\/arMNzKIZZhkcZo6rwQ83hrj4BldoRKdigCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Me%2Bwith%2BRich%2527s%2Bsignature%2Bnecklace.png\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-KdPEv1Ea_i4\/X9U9-YjrMEI\/AAAAAAAA3eY\/rRW0GrDLUlA1e32qJuLvsf5PJYjg6GaTACLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Necklace%2Bin%2Bfront%2Bof%2BChristmas%2Btree.png\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1426\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-KdPEv1Ea_i4\/X9U9-YjrMEI\/AAAAAAAA3eY\/rRW0GrDLUlA1e32qJuLvsf5PJYjg6GaTACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Necklace%2Bin%2Bfront%2Bof%2BChristmas%2Btree.png\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThanks for the early Christmas present,\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.onecklace.ca\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EoNecklace\u003C\/a\u003E!\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/2130971700381219852\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/12\/a-very-special-necklace.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/2130971700381219852"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/2130971700381219852"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/12\/a-very-special-necklace.html","title":"A very special necklace"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-DGLJ_cjG2L0\/X9UC4NhOQsI\/AAAAAAAA3dc\/o89wJBNTaLkraQk0Bj_iN3wNZv7wUuMxwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Rich%2527s%2Bnecklace%2Bclose-up.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-1169204307509803871"},"published":{"$t":"2020-12-05T14:07:00.005-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-12-05T14:07:51.430-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"feminist"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life lessons"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"The rules do not exist"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-cSlSCPjZIVA\/X7vR9u_s7gI\/AAAAAAAA3aQ\/rtfMhIQVTfEeC-_piRhHhlUM86F3gkAZQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Winter%2Bhike.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-cSlSCPjZIVA\/X7vR9u_s7gI\/AAAAAAAA3aQ\/rtfMhIQVTfEeC-_piRhHhlUM86F3gkAZQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Winter%2Bhike.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EA couple of weeks ago I read something that stuck with me. It was an article titled \"Run the dishwasher twice\", and it's written by a woman who is battling depression. She was at a very low point, and when asked by her therapist what in particular she was struggling with, she eventually admitted that it was doing the dishes. \"It's stupid, I know, but the more I look at them the more I CAN'T do them because I'll have to scrub them before I put them in the dishwasher, because the dishwasher sucks, and I just can't stand and scrub the dishes.\"\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EShe felt ridiculous saying it; it sounded like such a non-problem. But her therapist nodded understandingly and then told her: \"Run the dishwasher twice\". She started to argue that you're not supposed to do that, and his response is what I've been mulling over for the last fortnight: \"Why the hell aren't you supposed to? If you don't want to scrub the dishes and your dishwasher sucks, run it twice. Run it three times, who cares?! Rules do not exist, so stop giving yourself rules.\"\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E(For the full article, click\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/dwunker\/photos\/a.964608990245702\/3675184492521458\/\" style=\"text-align: justify;\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ehere\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E)\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003ERules do not exist.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Because it's such a foreign, tantalizing idea. Sure, some rules have their uses, like driving on a designated side of the road, locking up murderers, or displaying basic human decency to others.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut what about all the other BS-\"rules\" we've been told by parents and teachers, shown by friends and society, or unconsciously\u0026nbsp;manipulated to believe by seeing them in commercials, movies, or Facebook posts?\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ELike the rule that buying gifts shows your love, and if you don't buy them it's implied that you don't care about that person. Elsie Larson from\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/abeautifulmess.com\/episode-36-mini-yes-i-buy-all-my-own-gifts\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EA Beautiful Mess\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;has been buying all her own presents for years. She wraps them, puts her husband's name on the ones that are \"from him\", and is happy as a clam. This method works for both of them, because she gets what she wants and he doesn't have to stress out about it, and I just love that arrangement.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMy husband and I don't usually give each other gifts at all, unless one of us sees something that we know the other will like. We've given each other some special gifts over the years, but not on a designated day - we just do it whenever we find it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lPs8Ovk3ecM\/X8vUKj8-7FI\/AAAAAAAA3bI\/7UMOJveoEckZwBxBxH9oP2hZG1Ivb7KAgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s798\/Christmas%2Bangel%2B%25281%2529.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"798\" data-original-width=\"528\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lPs8Ovk3ecM\/X8vUKj8-7FI\/AAAAAAAA3bI\/7UMOJveoEckZwBxBxH9oP2hZG1Ivb7KAgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Christmas%2Bangel%2B%25281%2529.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnother rule we're breaking is that we have been sleeping in separate bedrooms for the majority of our marriage. We have lots of reasons, but the simplest one is that it works best for us. It has negative connotations of either being a punishment (wife kicks husband out of bedroom for cheating\/coming home drunk\/being an ass) or the beginning of the end. But for us it's simply how we both get the best sleep; and we don't care what it looks like to others.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWomen in particular get so many rules, it takes a lifetime to learn them all, and because new ones are added all the time we will never catch up. Wear a bra (nobody wants to see saggy breasts or, even worse, \u003Ci\u003Enipples\u003C\/i\u003E), don't wear a miniskirt after 35 (hide the cellulite), wear make-up (hide your natural skin with its texture and \u003Ci\u003Epores\u003C\/i\u003E), dye your hair (you have to look young!), put on shapewear (you have to look slim!), don't be too loud, don't be too eccentric, don't be a slut, don't eat too much, don't be wasteful, don't be selfish.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EInstead, be this: Polite. Pleasant. Caring. Nurturing. A mother.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESuccessful, but not\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Ci style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003Etoo\u003C\/i\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;successful. Organized. Hard-working. Tidy. Clean.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EA rule-follower. Fit in, don't stand out.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe apologize when people come over to our place for it being messy, because we subconsciously compare it with the staged photos we see on social media, and the beautifully decorated houses on TV.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe feel guilty for saying no, because we were taught to always be helpful.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe feel guilty if we're having a lazy day, because we were taught that being hard-working=being a good person, and being lazy is a sin.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe think we are bad people if we don't recycle and still buy fast fashion.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe are being told that we should practice self-care - but not too much. We also have to cook organic, healthy meals, provide a magic childhood for our kids, be independent women with their own income, be politically woke, care for social issues, be there for our friends, shop local (even though online-shopping is so much more convenient), be environmentally friendly, and, for God's sake, \u003Ci\u003Edon't\u003C\/i\u003E run the dishwasher twice.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-JeX1akKP1Ww\/X8vxF7604ZI\/AAAAAAAA3bQ\/QyEeEa38XNkPmJ9glDjxamZXgDboJXnRQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Morning%2Bdrive.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-JeX1akKP1Ww\/X8vxF7604ZI\/AAAAAAAA3bQ\/QyEeEa38XNkPmJ9glDjxamZXgDboJXnRQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Morning%2Bdrive.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EPhew. It's a lot.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ENot all of these rules are bad. Some are very good. Some make life easier, some are good for the world and human interaction, and some fall into the category of well-meaning advice (i.e. take it or leave it).\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut some are manipulative, created to keep women small; some are made up to sell products, especially anything related to beauty, weight loss and \"staying young\"; and some are just plain crazy.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe main problem is that even if you try to be a good, obedient person by following the rules, you are doomed to fail. There are too many of them, there is too much conflicting information being thrown at you, and no matter what you do, you will never be able to please everyone.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003EThat's why it's time for some serious unlearning.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003EThe most important step is to unlearn the idea of believing\u0026nbsp;that you should be a certain way: Look a certain way, behave a certain way, live life a certain way. You \u003Ci\u003Edon't\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EAll you have to do is to become the person you already are; the person you were before the world got her claws into you and tried to turn you into someone else. \u003C\/b\u003EThis isn't easy; but it's worth it. Because once you manage to shake off the heavy burden of expectation and rule-following, you become light and free, and life becomes easy!\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003EThat's the clue to know you've got it: life gets easier.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003ELife will still be complicated and difficult and sometimes heartbreaking; that's how life is. But the difference is that you have shed a ton of unnecessary problems (caused by the rules) you had before, which helps you focus on what you have to deal with.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-CVStWEc1RBk\/X8v9PxZWiOI\/AAAAAAAA3bY\/iTHBhg-zu-83urr1B83qpWvX_8ME9_GDQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s550\/Magic%2Bsky%2B%25281%2529.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"550\" data-original-width=\"528\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-CVStWEc1RBk\/X8v9PxZWiOI\/AAAAAAAA3bY\/iTHBhg-zu-83urr1B83qpWvX_8ME9_GDQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Magic%2Bsky%2B%25281%2529.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003EIf you don't have the energy to recycle in the current phase of your life, then don't.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003EIf you can't afford to shop at the independent store because you lost your job or your hours were cut or something else cropped up, shop at WalMart and don't feel guilty for it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003EIf your friend wants to hang out but you don't have the capacity for it, tell them. If they're real friends, they will understand; if not, good riddance.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003EIf you don't want kids and people ask you why or try to convince you that you're making a mistake, remember: \u003Cb\u003Eyou don't owe them an explanation\u003C\/b\u003E. You don't have to explain your reasons. They are the rude ones for interrogating you, not you for not answering.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003EIf you're content in your current job and don't want to climb the career ladder, stay where you are! Job satisfaction is what everyone wants but few have, and one reason is that people listen to other people's unsolicited advice. If you're happy, keep living your best life!\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003EIf your house is messy, remember that everybody's house is messy. It's called living. Sure, there are varying degrees, but if you feel comfortable the way it is, don't apologize to others because you think they may not like it. \u003Cb\u003EIt doesn't matter whether they like it or not.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIf you are a woman and I x-ray your unshaved legs, please stop apologizing for your unshaved leg! Hint: guys never do.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe women have to stop believing that there are certain aspects of grooming we have to follow; we actually \u003Ci\u003Edon't\u003C\/i\u003E. Those are arbitrary rules that don't serve a purpose except to make women feel inferior. Fuck that.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI applaud you for not having shaved your legs, and mine are most likely stubbly right now as well! I do like the smooth look for my bare legs in the summer, but in the winter I let the hair grow out. Much easier and warmer that way.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI also rarely wear a bra, never wear make-up, and I don't apologize. Men don't wear them, why should I?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EThe rules do not exist.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-s2EK7OiVLZ8\/X8wAWE56HHI\/AAAAAAAA3bg\/E4h6JiS-JmUvmW3gHdAnMAPdsgJtTjWpACLcBGAsYHQ\/s746\/Christmas%2Bmagic.png\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"746\" data-original-width=\"499\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-s2EK7OiVLZ8\/X8wAWE56HHI\/AAAAAAAA3bg\/E4h6JiS-JmUvmW3gHdAnMAPdsgJtTjWpACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Christmas%2Bmagic.png\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003EDon't let other people tell you who to love, how to live your life, or what they think of your choices. It's none of their business.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EDo what feels true to you. Do what you think is right. Try \u003Ci\u003Eyour\u003C\/i\u003E best, not someone else's best.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EBy becoming yourself you become the very best version of you.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd that is what the world needs.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/1169204307509803871\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/12\/the-rules-do-not-exist.html#comment-form","title":"6 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/1169204307509803871"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/1169204307509803871"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/12\/the-rules-do-not-exist.html","title":"The rules do not exist"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-cSlSCPjZIVA\/X7vR9u_s7gI\/AAAAAAAA3aQ\/rtfMhIQVTfEeC-_piRhHhlUM86F3gkAZQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Winter%2Bhike.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"6"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-5827592290450169345"},"published":{"$t":"2020-11-19T20:05:00.006-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-11-19T21:05:48.532-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fangirl"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"people I admire"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Eww, David"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ZOndJMcjW9E\/X7cZJB7mRYI\/AAAAAAAA3ZI\/2UYJlY_UpOwh-HQZooeSZ7UmhOtAYqsrACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1000\/Schitt%2527s%2BCreek.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"834\" data-original-width=\"1000\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ZOndJMcjW9E\/X7cZJB7mRYI\/AAAAAAAA3ZI\/2UYJlY_UpOwh-HQZooeSZ7UmhOtAYqsrACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Schitt%2527s%2BCreek.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOmg. OH.EM.GEE.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI had no idea. I tried watching it once many months ago, and gave up halfway through the first episode, shaking my head at all the hype and thinking that people were just weird (a thought I have frequently).\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut then, after reading over and over again, from people whose opinion I value, that this show is special and amazing, I gave it another try. And boy, am I ever glad I did! (Second chances are important!)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI gobbled this show up. I love its humanity, the vulnerability, the hopefulness, the casualness of how they addressed David being bi like it's no big deal. One casual conversation over wine, and that's it! LOVED IT.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/--bDbX8wz-RE\/X7cftdUoH9I\/AAAAAAAA3ZQ\/D-JiU-iwhBoRIysFZX_cHLdN5ql8fcwywCLcBGAsYHQ\/s540\/Simple-Life-Lessions-From-Schitts-Creek-I-like-the-wine-and-not-the-label.gif\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"303\" data-original-width=\"540\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/--bDbX8wz-RE\/X7cftdUoH9I\/AAAAAAAA3ZQ\/D-JiU-iwhBoRIysFZX_cHLdN5ql8fcwywCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Simple-Life-Lessions-From-Schitts-Creek-I-like-the-wine-and-not-the-label.gif\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EThere have been countless lists of reasons to love Schitt's Creek, or lessons learnt from the show, or simply accolades of what makes this show so very unique and special. All highly deserved and worth reading. And you know what? I can't help but add my own. There were a few aspects about the show I loved so much, I have the urge to share them.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E1. Stay true to yourself.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EThe clothes are magnificent. Alexis and Johnny are dressed beautifully (if not in sync with their surroundings), Moira's outfits are totally wacko and beyond anything we've ever seen (her wigs alone are the stuff of legends!), and David has a very distinctive style that sticks out in his new town like a sore thumb.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EHowever, even after they try to make the best of it and participate in town activities, they never change their styles. They continue to wear what makes them feel most like themselves, and whether they are ridiculed or admired for it, they don't care; they just keep being themselves.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-sLNfle4Bgic\/X7ci_hRDqnI\/AAAAAAAA3ZY\/y3qSr24jOakSNu8_uSeITYEhLAKOVrXYgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s625\/sub-buzz-28444-1537448092-1.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"415\" data-original-width=\"625\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-sLNfle4Bgic\/X7ci_hRDqnI\/AAAAAAAA3ZY\/y3qSr24jOakSNu8_uSeITYEhLAKOVrXYgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/sub-buzz-28444-1537448092-1.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-GBLlw9nazWg\/X7cjdfqnJQI\/AAAAAAAA3Zg\/seI0j1R1tIgqrD9gp0rOTnkSEGPLLopTACLcBGAsYHQ\/s700\/ff1ead8267c27676e70a03c65a9c11c240-schitts-creek-recap-2.rhorizontal.w700.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"467\" data-original-width=\"700\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-GBLlw9nazWg\/X7cjdfqnJQI\/AAAAAAAA3Zg\/seI0j1R1tIgqrD9gp0rOTnkSEGPLLopTACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/ff1ead8267c27676e70a03c65a9c11c240-schitts-creek-recap-2.rhorizontal.w700.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E2. The show is made up of Canadian actors.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003ECanada is sorely under-represented when it comes to television and movies, and it makes me so proud that such an intelligent, clever and kind show is Made in Canada!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E3. The kindness.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003ERemember David babysitting his boss Wendy's stepdaughter even though he hates kids? And how kind he was to her when she got her period on his *very* expensive sheets?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EOr how David is the perfect wing man to Stevie when she wants to play it cool with her sort-of-boyfriend Emir?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EThe whole Stevie\/David-relationship is a lesson in itself. If two socially-awkward, shy, burnt-one-too-many-times weirdos can open up to someone else and develop a true friendship, why shouldn't I be able to? Why shouldn't you?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" class=\"giphy-embed\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"270\" src=\"https:\/\/giphy.com\/embed\/3oD3YncNEHGlhNSUYo\" width=\"480\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E(Dan Levy, the man behind David Rose, \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.nbcnews.com\/pop-culture\/pop-culture-news\/dan-levy-urges-people-think-face-masks-simplest-easiest-act-n1212506\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eis just as kind as his alter ego\u003C\/a\u003E.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EThen there is David's relationship with Patrick: Patrick, who's only ever been in relationships with women before, and who is fully accepted not only by David and his family, but also by his own parents, whose most pressing concern is that they may somehow not have been supportive enough to their son. How wholesome is that??\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EAlexis positively turns into a different (much more mature) person in her second go-around with Ted (after 2 ill-fated proposals and a subsequent break).\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EThe town is almost shockingly accepting of the Roses' very apparent prejudice against them in the beginning; but Roland makes up for it by not missing a chance to make fun of them, while still supporting them wholeheartedly.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EThat becomes more apparent than ever during that memorable dinner in Elmdale for Moira and Johnny's anniversary, where they run into their old so-called \"friends\", and Roland and Jocelyn. Roland and Jocelyn could very easily have turned on the Roses, but didn't. Neither did Johnny turn his back on them. It's one of my favourite moments of the show.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThen there is Jocelyn. Doesn't she deserve a halo? She is incredibly patient, understanding, and kind.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" class=\"giphy-embed\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"480\" src=\"https:\/\/giphy.com\/embed\/kD0YLiBaf6mKmZXIk1\" width=\"480\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOh, and what about Twyla? The sweetest person who has ever lived.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" class=\"giphy-embed\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"480\" src=\"https:\/\/giphy.com\/embed\/UqMWd91mLIL25ysseg\" width=\"480\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAbove anything, this show brims with kindness.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E4. The humanity.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EThe show reminds us that life can change in an instant. Nothing is guaranteed. Rich people can become poor overnight, poor people rich. We can find love, or lose it. Our circumstances, no matter how carefully planned or meticulously protected, are fragile.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EIt's something all of us are scared of. No matter how hard we try to be in control, in the end, we are at the whim of other people, of the economy, of circumstances \u003Ci\u003Ebeyond\u003C\/i\u003E our control.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EEverything can change at any moment.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" class=\"giphy-embed\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"480\" src=\"https:\/\/giphy.com\/embed\/l1KVcGyboCABHapAA\" width=\"480\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EThat's where Schitt's Creek comes in.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EJohnny, Moira, David and Alexis \u003Ci\u003Ehate \u003C\/i\u003Ewhere they are in the beginning. They can't believe that *they* ended up in a shitty place like that. (The name of the show is ingenious, isn't it?)\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EThey couldn't be more out of place.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003ESeeing them fight it, then starting to give in a bit, then some of them starting to embrace it, while others (Moira) are never losing hope - all their reactions are so relatable and so healing to watch.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EDavid and Alexis starting to flourish at their first real contact with the real world is, obviously, very satisfying to watch; so is seeing Johnny, at first slowly, then wholeheartedly, embracing the challenge of\u0026nbsp; getting a run-down business back up and growing; but maybe the most inspiring story-line to follow is Moira's. Moira, who fits in the least, with her outlandish clothes, wigs, accent, and love for everything eccentric, has the hardest time getting used to her new surroundings. If you've ever moved to a small town where you don't know anyone, you can probably relate; but you probably chose it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-75K_1gZ7xV0\/X7c5YYvZTaI\/AAAAAAAA3Zo\/dwhqb9MCr6YeQG6hvuuMlD25WfmwQp5pwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s618\/moira-rose.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"410\" data-original-width=\"618\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-75K_1gZ7xV0\/X7c5YYvZTaI\/AAAAAAAA3Zo\/dwhqb9MCr6YeQG6hvuuMlD25WfmwQp5pwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/moira-rose.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EMoira, on the other hand, is literally in the last place on earth she wants to be. Yet, after some stints in her closet, she decides to make the most of it. She joins the Jazzagals, runs for town council, and once selected, she fully commits. However, she never gives up hope that her luck will change; which in the end, happens. I admire her unwavering hope and optimism, while still trying to make the most of her current life. \u003Cb\u003E\u003Ci\u003EThat's\u003C\/i\u003E the secret to living your best life right there.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd let's not forget about a flawed, complicated family coming together for the first time in their lives. That's another beautiful story line.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E5. The sibling rivalry.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; font-weight: bold; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" class=\"BLOG_video_class\" height=\"266\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/S_acAHyAKuI\" width=\"320\" youtube-src-id=\"S_acAHyAKuI\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMy sister and I fought just like them. Many fond memories surfaced while watching the show.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E6. The happy ending.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EWho doesn't love a happy ending? Especially during these difficult times. I loved everything about it: that Moira got another start at a glamorous life as an actress. Johnny running another blossoming business again while being the supportive, amazing husband he's always been. Alexis truly standing on her own feet for the first time in her life, venturing out on her own. And David, cynic, disdainful David, finding true love and friendship in the most unlikely place, and deciding to be courageous enough to choose love over image.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EThe show deserves every last bit of hype and accolades, and then some. I'm so happy I discovered its magic.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" class=\"giphy-embed\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"480\" src=\"https:\/\/giphy.com\/embed\/xUA7aV0Qt03RXTHQ76\" width=\"480\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E(Thanks for keeping me humble, David.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/5827592290450169345\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/11\/eww-david.html#comment-form","title":"6 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/5827592290450169345"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/5827592290450169345"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/11\/eww-david.html","title":"Eww, David"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ZOndJMcjW9E\/X7cZJB7mRYI\/AAAAAAAA3ZI\/2UYJlY_UpOwh-HQZooeSZ7UmhOtAYqsrACLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Schitt%2527s%2BCreek.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"6"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-267361984073081068"},"published":{"$t":"2020-11-15T20:46:00.002-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-11-17T19:33:22.748-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"depression"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life lessons"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"pmdd"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"When the sadness hits"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-mr21XSdk6rs\/X7H6Nw_WPnI\/AAAAAAAA3Ys\/JWphF47OEfQML4NnO3e-CNOb0Wm7ymdNgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1920\/sparkler-677774_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1280\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-mr21XSdk6rs\/X7H6Nw_WPnI\/AAAAAAAA3Ys\/JWphF47OEfQML4NnO3e-CNOb0Wm7ymdNgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/sparkler-677774_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI look around me: at the house I decorated so enthusiastically, and that I love so deeply. It's warm and welcoming, and just the right amount of quirky and lived-in that it embraces you like a big hug. The furniture is comfortable, the lighting is soft yet bright, and the flooring is forgiving to dirty shoes, muddy paws, spilled wine and dropped food.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI have the dogs I always wanted on the bed, the cat I never knew I would love so much purring by my side. Bob the bird who just joined us is singing his little heart out from his perch on top of the wardrobe.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI mopped the floors today, cooked a hearty meal, and ironed 6 of Richard's shirts while watching a Christmas movie.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm living the life of my dreams.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd yet here I am, tears streaming down my face.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI am - I can't quite describe it. I have a hard time putting it into words. I wanna say \"beside myself\", but that's not it. For that I would have to know what \"myself\" is, and right now I don't. Right now I have no idea who I am or what would make me happy.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EEverything feels removed by a few degrees; like I'm a spectator who looks into someone else's life, a person she knows, but doesn't care much about.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI know, logically, that this is the life that I spent years creating. I know that I love countless big and little details about it: the person I spend it with, our dogs, the cats, all the animals, where we live, my job, that we have people who care about us and whom we care about. I love lots of different TV shows, books, my clothes, morning coffee, my walks, yoga, naps, my new floor, online shopping, going for breakfast with my husband, meeting the old guys whose company and wit I appreciate and get great entertainment value out of.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYet, right now, none of this is enough.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's all flat. I'm bored, dissatisfied, moody. I feel cold, sad, and panicky. All I can focus on is all the terrible things that are happening, or \u003Ci\u003Ecould\u003C\/i\u003E happen.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI fight it. I fight it \u003Ci\u003Ehard\u003C\/i\u003E. I walk every day. I write my gratitude list. I cuddle the dogs, take deep breaths, try to appreciate the moment. I hug my husband. And I have glimpses of joy every day. Little rips in the canvas of despair that's threatening to wrap itself around me.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut I'm not winning. The despair is still there. Even though I can push it away for brief periods, I haven't yet found a way to get rid of it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd the fight is exhausting. I get caught in the toxic downward spiral of only focusing on everything bad about my job, about imaging the worst about my marriage, about the sheer struggle that is getting up every day and having to live life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI simultaneously feel like I waste my life, but also that nothing matters anyway.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI should do more, but also less.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd most of all: I should stop worrying so damn much.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut right now, I just can't quite seem to get the knack of how to do that.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI feel powerless.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EA larger, darker power has taken over the steering wheel of my life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm not giving in without a fight, however; I kick and fight and scream. And I do gain control, little moments at a time; not enough to take back control over my life, but enough to gain hope. I don't lose sight of everything that's good about my life anymore; I know it's there, even if it's hidden.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-NkBMnazRrPI\/X7H9xsdKieI\/AAAAAAAA3Y0\/8dLvobMqXJMIKnqI237fv_Nfdpwhy96oACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1920\/divine-light-1296353_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1280\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-NkBMnazRrPI\/X7H9xsdKieI\/AAAAAAAA3Y0\/8dLvobMqXJMIKnqI237fv_Nfdpwhy96oACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/divine-light-1296353_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EBut it's hard. It leaves me wrung out like an old, wet towel discarded on the floor.\u003Cdiv\u003EI can't bear to look further than what's right in front of me; everything else looks grey and hopeless.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut then again, I've been there before, many times.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt always got better. It doesn't feel like it right now; it never does. But I remember how it has been, and I have to trust that it will be like that again.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt feels risky.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's scary.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYet, there is one ally that has never abandoned me: hope. I've always trusted that things will look up again, that I will be happy again, that the darkness will leave.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo far, it has never disappointed me. I'm clinging on to hope this time around again, with the stubbornness my German ancestors bestowed upon me.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBetter days are ahead for me.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBetter days are ahead for all of us.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Drcd09d0MNk\/X7IBx_MLitI\/AAAAAAAA3Y8\/SpT_F4YfVaYUIOr9RRBXyFarGs5cZi0qwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1920\/freedom-4782870_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1280\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Drcd09d0MNk\/X7IBx_MLitI\/AAAAAAAA3Y8\/SpT_F4YfVaYUIOr9RRBXyFarGs5cZi0qwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/freedom-4782870_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/267361984073081068\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/11\/when-sadness-hits.html#comment-form","title":"4 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/267361984073081068"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/267361984073081068"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/11\/when-sadness-hits.html","title":"When the sadness hits"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-mr21XSdk6rs\/X7H6Nw_WPnI\/AAAAAAAA3Ys\/JWphF47OEfQML4NnO3e-CNOb0Wm7ymdNgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/sparkler-677774_1920.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"4"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-5909175050651336666"},"published":{"$t":"2020-11-08T13:44:00.005-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-11-08T13:53:49.061-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"2020"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"covid-19"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life lessons"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"What we should remember about 2020"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-zYpVbAEBP74\/X6gZBGOvXwI\/AAAAAAAA3SU\/1GfxiI-pDuYH2ugGt6KxzTOdtcgr7b_lgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1920\/shopping-4974313_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1280\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-zYpVbAEBP74\/X6gZBGOvXwI\/AAAAAAAA3SU\/1GfxiI-pDuYH2ugGt6KxzTOdtcgr7b_lgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/shopping-4974313_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E(And no, it's \u003Ci\u003Enot\u003C\/i\u003E toilet paper.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E2020 is a year that none of us will ever forget. Things we didn't even know existed 12 months ago are now part of our everyday lives: social distancing, arrows in supermarkets, Plexiglas EVERYWHERE, red dots on the floors marking 6 feet distances. Discarded masks litter the sidewalks and parking lots, bunched up gloves are overflowing the trash cans, and we don't even bat an eye when we see line-ups in front of stores, banks, or government buildings. \"Must have reached their limit,\" we think to ourselves, sigh, and line up to wait our turn (or, in my case, leave and come back another time. I \u003Ci\u003Ehate\u003C\/i\u003E waiting).\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhether you believe it's real or a hoax (conspiracy theories having a \u003Ci\u003Ebig\u003C\/i\u003E moment this year), Covid-19 has changed all our lives. The toilet paper wars, Tiger King and baking sourdough in March seem like a lifetime ago, a quaint memory of simpler times when we still believed that it would all be over in a couple of months. We were scared, sure; but we all thought this was just a temporary glitch we could fix with turning off normal life for a bit, turn it back on and all would be back to normal.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-EkFOwk-QvyE\/X6gfEvcZ6rI\/AAAAAAAA3Sg\/kMw34-vTf2sEnwfzS75czGpUXYOlylmrgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Covid%2Bmeme.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"796\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-EkFOwk-QvyE\/X6gfEvcZ6rI\/AAAAAAAA3Sg\/kMw34-vTf2sEnwfzS75czGpUXYOlylmrgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Covid%2Bmeme.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.someecards.com\/memes-lists-comics\/memes\/26-memes-that-perfectly-sum-up-2020\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003Esource\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt doesn't look that way. Even the world's biggest optimist had a few glass-half-empty moments this year, because life as we knew it is no more. Many countries are entering, or have already entered, a second lock down; travel seems a thing of the past; and our hands will never be the same again from all the washing and sanitizing. We've all experienced moments of rage when we want to scream at the stupid arrows or the elbow bump instead of a hug; moments of grief for not having seen some of our friends and family in months; and moments of exasperation about people who still claim that wearing masks means giving up their freedom and being manipulated by the government.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1fIqt2uI4M4\/X6gtUgWqE9I\/AAAAAAAA3Sw\/TMxRIBfMOaQMHY918Y3SSPbpKOkOUOCwgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1920\/avatars-5615502_1920.png\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1280\" data-original-width=\"1920\" height=\"426\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1fIqt2uI4M4\/X6gtUgWqE9I\/AAAAAAAA3Sw\/TMxRIBfMOaQMHY918Y3SSPbpKOkOUOCwgCLcBGAsYHQ\/w640-h426\/avatars-5615502_1920.png\" width=\"640\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's normal and healthy to grieve what we have lost.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E2020 has been an exceedingly difficult year for all of us. We've had to cancel plans, vacations, weddings and travel; we've gained weight, spent hours every day on the couch binge-watching Netflix and felt like unproductive blobs; we've been locked up for months and realized that lack of time was never the reason for our questionable housekeeping skills.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003EAnxiety and depression are having a field day for the 300th day running; we can't concentrate; and we feel like failures for not using all that extra time productively.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003ENot every year is for thriving; some are for surviving. \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E2020 definitely falls into the latter category.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003EHowever, it's important to find positivity even in this mess.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003EAs Dumbledore says:\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Ci style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.\"\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large; text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cu\u003EHere are a few important things to remember about 2020:\u003C\/u\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cul\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003EWe are more resilient than we think.\u003C\/span\u003E \u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003EWe are in the midst of a pandemic, and we are still standing! Or lying down large parts of every day, but we are still here, adapting and surviving!\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003C\/ul\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-vTce9yN-Q4Y\/X6g2ssiI7ZI\/AAAAAAAA3S4\/yS-7LjzJ7bsndkkGdYxgAQPZZBBoDr5PQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s989\/imagefromios-6-5vWDH2.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"989\" data-original-width=\"828\" height=\"640\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-vTce9yN-Q4Y\/X6g2ssiI7ZI\/AAAAAAAA3S4\/yS-7LjzJ7bsndkkGdYxgAQPZZBBoDr5PQCLcBGAsYHQ\/w536-h640\/imagefromios-6-5vWDH2.jpg\" width=\"536\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.someecards.com\/memes-lists-comics\/memes\/26-memes-that-perfectly-sum-up-2020\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003Esource\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cul\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003EWe are all in this together.\u003C\/span\u003E \u003C\/b\u003EThe entire world is facing this pandemic, and despite our differences, it helps unite us in some ways. In September, \"64 higher income economies have joined [...] a global initiative that brings together governments and manufacturers to ensure eventual Covid-19 vaccines reach those in greatest need, whoever they are and wherever they live\". (\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.who.int\/news\/item\/21-09-2020-boost-for-global-response-to-covid-19-as-economies-worldwide-formally-sign-up-to-covax-facility\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Esource\u003C\/a\u003E)\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003C\/ul\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1bb7PmKhSKg\/X6g6Lqj8ZaI\/AAAAAAAA3TA\/MaukjBdPdGIW_gu4-ocUU_F7-1sE1c_cgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1280\/coronavirus-5018466_1280.png\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1280\" data-original-width=\"1279\" height=\"400\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1bb7PmKhSKg\/X6g6Lqj8ZaI\/AAAAAAAA3TA\/MaukjBdPdGIW_gu4-ocUU_F7-1sE1c_cgCLcBGAsYHQ\/w400-h400\/coronavirus-5018466_1280.png\" width=\"400\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cul style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cli style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EWe have front-row seats to a historic moment.\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E No matter where you stand on politics, we are witnesses to history in the making. Kamala Harris is the first woman who is Vice President-Elect of the US. She is also a black woman of South Asian descent and the daughter of immigrants. This is a momentous moment for women everywhere! I was crying happy tears yesterday on and off all day.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/li\u003E\u003C\/ul\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-jGf0BDkklr8\/X6g-GQRBQzI\/AAAAAAAA3TI\/wpIsXCDUVYAgzKlQVIss9E8JKJsEczqNgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/124453783_10158644828417534_8201370471306010675_o.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1079\" data-original-width=\"1080\" height=\"400\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-jGf0BDkklr8\/X6g-GQRBQzI\/AAAAAAAA3TI\/wpIsXCDUVYAgzKlQVIss9E8JKJsEczqNgCLcBGAsYHQ\/w400-h400\/124453783_10158644828417534_8201370471306010675_o.jpg\" width=\"400\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cul style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cli style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EWomen are changing the world.\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003Cb\u003EGreta Thunberg\u003C\/b\u003E, the 17-year-old diminutive, yet powerful activist is leading a worldwide campaign to fight climate change (and proved to be a\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/globalnews.ca\/news\/7447420\/greta-thunberg-donald-trump-tweet\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Esuperb troller \u003C\/a\u003Eof Donald Trump).\u0026nbsp;\u003Cb\u003EStacey Abrams,\u003C\/b\u003E an American politician, lawyer, and voting rights activist, \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.politico.com\/news\/2020\/11\/08\/stacey-abrams-believers-georgia-blue-434985\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eregistered over 800,000 new voters in Georgia\u003C\/a\u003E, leading Georgia, a historically red state, to turn blue, which played an essential role in the outcome of the election. In the fight against Covid-19,\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/world\/2020\/aug\/18\/female-led-countries-handled-coronavirus-better-study-jacinda-ardern-angela-merkel\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ecountries led by women\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;have \"systematically and significantly better\" outcomes than countries led by men. Well done\u0026nbsp;\u003Cb\u003EAngela Merkel \u003C\/b\u003E(Germany), \u003Cb\u003EJacinda Ardern\u003C\/b\u003E (New Zealand), \u003Cb\u003EMette Frederiksen\u003C\/b\u003E (Denmark), \u003Cb\u003ETsai Ing-wen\u003C\/b\u003E (Taiwan) and \u003Cb\u003ESanna Marin \u003C\/b\u003E(Finland)!\u003C\/li\u003E\u003C\/ul\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1co4dDyxgHk\/X6hMbNqEWSI\/AAAAAAAA3TY\/doTSRpPXdS4Byfq3G7_0T2hXaLEuEKxqACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1920\/march-3113992_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1281\" data-original-width=\"1920\" height=\"268\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1co4dDyxgHk\/X6hMbNqEWSI\/AAAAAAAA3TY\/doTSRpPXdS4Byfq3G7_0T2hXaLEuEKxqACLcBGAsYHQ\/w400-h268\/march-3113992_1920.jpg\" width=\"400\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cul style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cli style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003ETime is a gift. \u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003EIf nothing else, 2020 has \u003Cstrike\u003Etaught \u003C\/strike\u003Eforced us to slow down. We've stayed home a lot more, with less distractions and opportunities to go out and be entertained. It can feel uncomfortable, but it's important. We can only figure out where we are in life and where we want to be by spending time with ourselves. You have grown this year, even if you're not aware of it yet. Your future self thanks you for every hard lesson you had to learn.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/li\u003E\u003C\/ul\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-w-Nup5w7_WE\/X6hLofS8svI\/AAAAAAAA3TQ\/0TdzZoUwKVA3q6GH_Le-dfmJyf1gjDX9ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Astavakrasana.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"960\" data-original-width=\"960\" height=\"640\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-w-Nup5w7_WE\/X6hLofS8svI\/AAAAAAAA3TQ\/0TdzZoUwKVA3q6GH_Le-dfmJyf1gjDX9ACLcBGAsYHQ\/w640-h640\/Astavakrasana.jpg\" width=\"640\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cul style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cli style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003EKindness is everywhere.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E Difficult times bring out the best and worst in people - including ourselves. We always have a choice of how we want to act, whether in good or bad times. Small things like smiling (yes, even\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/lifestyle\/wellness\/smile-mask-smize\/2020\/10\/09\/25104874-099f-11eb-a166-dc429b380d10_story.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Esmiling behind our masks\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;will be seen by others - remember \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.thecut.com\/2020\/09\/nailing-the-tyra-banks-smize-is-crucial-in-the-covid-19-era.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETyra Banks' smizing\u003C\/a\u003E? All those hours of watching ANTM finally paid off), saying thanks, complimenting others and listening are more important than ever. Helping each other makes it easier on all of us to go through this, and is the only way how we can come out stronger.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/li\u003E\u003C\/ul\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd remember: there's no shame in taking a break\/nap\/have a minor melt-down. It's 2020, after all.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-JRakD958vSA\/X6hlvwtcs0I\/AAAAAAAA3Tg\/lasU6LXAf-g9oA3ZvVF0nBdUJlw4_OgtQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s892\/imagefromios-83-5IxjeP.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"892\" data-original-width=\"828\" height=\"640\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-JRakD958vSA\/X6hlvwtcs0I\/AAAAAAAA3Tg\/lasU6LXAf-g9oA3ZvVF0nBdUJlw4_OgtQCLcBGAsYHQ\/w594-h640\/imagefromios-83-5IxjeP.jpg\" width=\"594\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.someecards.com\/memes-lists-comics\/memes\/25-memes-that-perfectly-sum-up-2020-3750788\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Esource\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/5909175050651336666\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/11\/what-we-should-remember-about-2020.html#comment-form","title":"4 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/5909175050651336666"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/5909175050651336666"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/11\/what-we-should-remember-about-2020.html","title":"What we should remember about 2020"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-zYpVbAEBP74\/X6gZBGOvXwI\/AAAAAAAA3SU\/1GfxiI-pDuYH2ugGt6KxzTOdtcgr7b_lgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/shopping-4974313_1920.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"4"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-4731536243160205958"},"published":{"$t":"2020-10-30T20:33:00.007-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-10-30T20:44:27.023-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"happiness"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life lessons"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"How to be happy when you're a chronic worrier"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-0LjK4EHJeNg\/X5w73FRpgnI\/AAAAAAAA3PY\/SjkBr9YbM402QVzSoy1nRa8pXVfPFbZNQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Pumpkin%2Bman%2Bat%2Bthe%2Bhospital%2Bedited.png\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"709\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-0LjK4EHJeNg\/X5w73FRpgnI\/AAAAAAAA3PY\/SjkBr9YbM402QVzSoy1nRa8pXVfPFbZNQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Pumpkin%2Bman%2Bat%2Bthe%2Bhospital%2Bedited.png\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm a chronic worrier. No matter how smooth or stress-free my life might be, I always have at least ten different things I worry about.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHere are a few examples (this is an incomplete list) of what's in my head right now:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E1. Petey got neutered last week.\u003C\/b\u003E He's completely fine. But I still worry about his (alarmingly large) empty scrotum blowing in the wind. It really is shockingly big, and I worry about infection, injury, and him never forgiving us for the loss of his jewels. He was a bit standoffish the first few days and refused to come into the house, which hurt. But he's since come round and just spent a solid 3-hour nap on my bed. I think he's starting to consider forgiving us sometime in the future.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E2.\u003C\/b\u003E \u003Cb\u003EWinter.\u003C\/b\u003E I always worry about the animals in the winter. We have winter quarters for the more fragile ones with heat, and shelter for everyone, so I know they're fine, but that doesn't diminish my anxiety. On the contrary, I have thoughts like: are they bored inside? They're used to frolicking and freedom. Do they miss summer? Is time crawling as slowly for them as it is for us during the interminable months of January and February?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-TCzjHow7cxI\/X5yZV5koznI\/AAAAAAAA3Pw\/gQbGpUZfjxEgCYtIrbU2WyXrv6nIuS08gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Wintery%2BAshcroft.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-TCzjHow7cxI\/X5yZV5koznI\/AAAAAAAA3Pw\/gQbGpUZfjxEgCYtIrbU2WyXrv6nIuS08gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Wintery%2BAshcroft.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E3. Rich.\u003C\/b\u003E I have an impressive list of items I'm anxious about when it comes to him, mostly about his health. There is his Lyme Disease of course, which is acting up right now due to the changing season. There is also the fact that he is old and could get a heart attack, stroke, dementia, Alzheimers ... I could go on, but I'll spare you. You get the drift - his health concerns me.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EFor a while it got so bad that I would absolutely \u003Ci\u003Efreak\u003C\/i\u003E out when he had gone somewhere and didn't tell me, or came home later than expected. My overactive imagination conjured up the worst: him lying somewhere in the field after having had a heart attack. Him being in a horrific car accident. Him having fallen and broken a hip. Him having been attacked by an animal and slowly bleeding to death. I would start to hyperventilate, tears streaming down my face, unable to stop the horrific images of racing past my inner eyes. It became such a problem that I had to see a therapist about it, and she helped me a lot. We will get to that in a minute.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E4. Rich's mom.\u003C\/b\u003E She is 87, broke her hip recently and lives in Germany. Anyone with elderly relatives knows that worry.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ZoN5T_tC-M4\/X5ydJEsPrHI\/AAAAAAAA3P4\/A7MKN4NleHMdDnNLBqMagAIpE1aHVr9mQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/October%2Bwalks.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ZoN5T_tC-M4\/X5ydJEsPrHI\/AAAAAAAA3P4\/A7MKN4NleHMdDnNLBqMagAIpE1aHVr9mQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/October%2Bwalks.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E5. The usual suspects:\u003C\/b\u003E money, Covid-19, the future, the state of the world we live in, how horrible people treat animals and other people, the environment, my own health, my parents' health, and about a hundred other things.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003ELet me stop here to highlight a huge win I've scored this year, mainly down to the tools I'll share with you in a moment.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EA few things I worried about excessively in the past are notably absent now. Can you guess what I'm talking about?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe most important one, and my biggest problem until this year has always been: \u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003Eother people\u003C\/b\u003E. \u003C\/span\u003ENeighbours, co-workers, friends, strangers on the internet, the unknown person on the other end of the phone - I fretted about them all. What they thought of me, if they liked me, if I made a fool of myself. For the very first time in my life, I do not care about that anymore. It is a life-changing, incredibly liberating feeling. One of my proudest accomplishments to date.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe others have been off my mind for a few years now: obsessive thoughts about \u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium; font-weight: bold;\"\u003Emy appearance, weight and body. \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EI won't get into it , because I've written about it\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/03\/my-body-is-changing.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ein this post\u003C\/a\u003E,\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/tinyletter.com\/Farmgirlmiriam\/letters\/we-are-all-in-this-together\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Emy latest newsletter\u003C\/a\u003E, and\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/search\/label\/body%20confidence\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ein a few more blog posts\u003C\/a\u003E.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-qV74VJ0Vnw0\/X5yi0Uph4-I\/AAAAAAAA3QA\/rZh67Xyg1tYmREC08si1vavuc_ebe1elQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/October%2Bbliss.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-qV74VJ0Vnw0\/X5yi0Uph4-I\/AAAAAAAA3QA\/rZh67Xyg1tYmREC08si1vavuc_ebe1elQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/October%2Bbliss.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EHow did I manage that amazing feat?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'll tell you. I have collected a number of tools that are helping me live a happy, mostly anxiety-free life. Of course, I will always have the tendency to worry about stuff; that's part of my make-up and what makes me \u003Ci\u003Eme\u003C\/i\u003E. It sucks, but what can you do; it's what my daddy gave me. If you can't fight it, embrace it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cu\u003EHere are my top five tricks that help me live with my Trelawney*-like brain:\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/u\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E1. Therapy.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E That's where I learnt most of what I'm about to share. I was the most reluctant person in the world to \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/06\/the-power-of-letting-go-is-yours-if-you.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ego to therapy\u003C\/a\u003E, but after imagining Rich dying hundreds of times during our 18 years together, I knew I had to seek help. I felt like I was going slowly mad. It has been truly life-changing.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E2. Don't believe everything you think.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E This is something that my therapist taught me right from the beginning. She pointed out that we have literally thousands of thoughts every day. Most of them we release without a second thought, never to trouble us again. \u003Cb\u003EWhat we focus our attention on is our \u003Ci\u003Echoice\u003C\/i\u003E. \u003C\/b\u003EFor example, before I\u0026nbsp;zero in on the fact that Rich's truck is gone upon my arrival at home and start the scary movie in my head, I have to stop.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EStop, take a deep\u0026nbsp; breath, and be conscious of what I'm about to do. Am I going to blindly believe every crazy scenario my active imagination is about to serve up? Why would I? It's based on zero fact.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EInstead, I channel that energy to focus on what's in front of me: the dogs who are happily greeting me; the dinner I want to cook that night; the book I was looking forward to reading after work; getting a half hour of yoga in to calm down my mind.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThere is nothing helpful nor beneficial in me conjuring up scary scenarios in my mind. Even \u003Ci\u003Eif \u003C\/i\u003ERich would have been injured (an extremely unlikely event to happen), my worrying about it doesn't help anyone, not him, and least of all me. So I've learnt to be more critical with my own thoughts, and practiced letting go a \u003Ci\u003Elot\u003C\/i\u003E this year. I'm pleased to report that it gets easier with practice!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E* Divination teacher at Hogwarts who always predicts the worst.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-qlW1KoRKZSg\/X5ywnLoJNnI\/AAAAAAAA3QI\/_tyylvgveM0BpOtiqDydWLq9RTqy2Q0ewCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Hello%2Bhandsome.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-qlW1KoRKZSg\/X5ywnLoJNnI\/AAAAAAAA3QI\/_tyylvgveM0BpOtiqDydWLq9RTqy2Q0ewCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Hello%2Bhandsome.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003E3. Most problems will solve themselves. \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003EThat's something Rich likes to say. I even wrote about it in my first year of blogging, in this post:\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2013\/09\/what-richard-knows.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EWhat Richard knows\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESeven years after first writing about it, I can confidently report that this is, indeed, true. Many of the things we have worried about have either resolved, or they presented themselves as an actual problem that we found a solution for. Rich is a superb problem solver, and it turns out that I'm not half-bad either. The problem is not the problem; it's the worrying about what \u003Ci\u003Emight\u003C\/i\u003E be that is so exhausting.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EEvery time I'm teetering on the edge of the rabbit hole, I remind myself that I've been there countless times before, and that 90% of my fretting was unnecessary. I can worry about the other 10% when they show up, \u003Ci\u003Eand not before\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EReminding myself of my successful history of having been able to resolve \u003Cb\u003Eevery\u003C\/b\u003E problem that has presented itself thus far gives me some much-needed confidence and calm.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium; font-weight: bold;\"\u003E4. Practice gratitude daily. \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EI've talked about that one several times already, because it's such a big one. I believe that the world isn't black and white, but is made up of thousands of glorious shades of silver-grey. This means that whatever situation you find yourself in, you can always find a sparkling bit of silver, if you just look for it. It's a lot harder to be worried when you're grateful at the same time.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EThere are studies and intelligent articles about this phenomenon out there, but I can vouch for it straight from my own experience. You feel good about yourself when you're grateful. Gratitude makes you see and appreciate all the good in your life. And the best part? The more you train yourself to be grateful, the more automatic it becomes. If you do it often enough, it will become a reflex. Without thinking, your brain will go straight to the thankful part in any and all situations. It's a perfect antidote to constant worrying.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-qI_z1Ojom0g\/X5y5y-rGQxI\/AAAAAAAA3QQ\/P_OYSaxIEpEHt0TUH9HCoKuMxjj8Tv75QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s912\/Lily%2B3.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"518\" data-original-width=\"912\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-qI_z1Ojom0g\/X5y5y-rGQxI\/AAAAAAAA3QQ\/P_OYSaxIEpEHt0TUH9HCoKuMxjj8Tv75QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Lily%2B3.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium; font-weight: bold;\"\u003E5. Learn to love and trust yourself. \u003C\/span\u003EMy \u003Ci\u003Eformerly\u003C\/i\u003E (I still can't believe that I can say that now!) biggest worry was what other people thought about me. I carried that one around for all my life, all the way past my 40th birthday. Despite knowing at some level that it didn't matter what anybody else thought, I still cared. It still mattered to me. And to get past that, I had to get to the root of it first.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's something else I uncovered and unlearnt in therapy, and I won't go into the details, but the gist of it is that I was seeking approval from others because the person(s) I really wanted the approval from hadn't given it to me. Instead of dealing with that, I was looking for it in all the wrong places.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI had to a) come to terms with that old wound, accept it and move on, and b) accept myself for who I am. When you love, trust and respect yourself, when you can embrace all your quirks and imperfections, then what others think of you becomes suddenly unimportant. It just - stops to matter. You stop thinking about it. It doesn't affect your life or your choices anymore. It's quite extraordinary!\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHaving reached that point in my life is, as I said earlier, one of \u003Ci\u003Ethe\u003C\/i\u003E biggest achievements of my life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThere are a few other things I make a point of including in my life daily: laughter, hugs and kisses (animals and\/or humans), finding humour in any situation, not badmouthing myself, treating myself with kindness, singing or dancing or jumping around.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI look at the stars and mountains and trees, the deer and mountain sheep and bald eagles, and I'm reminded of how small and insignificant any one of us is in the grand scheme of the world. It helps to take the pressure off. We are all just tiny blips; not at all as important as we think we are. Our worries are the same: tiny blips, grains of sand in the endless desert.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ENothing to get too worked up about.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-P3lRuy83SqM\/X5zbB7HU0yI\/AAAAAAAA3QY\/3nT-MkhlqSQKwJjMYBXGjOVoPfzSM0qkACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Epic%2Bsunset.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-P3lRuy83SqM\/X5zbB7HU0yI\/AAAAAAAA3QY\/3nT-MkhlqSQKwJjMYBXGjOVoPfzSM0qkACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Epic%2Bsunset.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/4731536243160205958\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/10\/how-to-be-happy-when-youre-chronic.html#comment-form","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/4731536243160205958"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/4731536243160205958"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/10\/how-to-be-happy-when-youre-chronic.html","title":"How to be happy when you're a chronic worrier"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-0LjK4EHJeNg\/X5w73FRpgnI\/AAAAAAAA3PY\/SjkBr9YbM402QVzSoy1nRa8pXVfPFbZNQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Pumpkin%2Bman%2Bat%2Bthe%2Bhospital%2Bedited.png","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-4231648569254709227"},"published":{"$t":"2020-10-27T22:18:00.005-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-10-28T05:27:56.228-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"aging"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life lessons"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"strong women"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"A message to all younger women"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-V5GK87tlrQ0\/X5jiRYyH_rI\/AAAAAAAA3Os\/Lv-OpcPK5jQhEFSNfzCK231oVqY3DmpEgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1920\/people-2567915_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1280\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-V5GK87tlrQ0\/X5jiRYyH_rI\/AAAAAAAA3Os\/Lv-OpcPK5jQhEFSNfzCK231oVqY3DmpEgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/people-2567915_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI was very\u0026nbsp;confused and lost when I was in my late teens and early twenties.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd late twenties.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd very early thirties.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'd naively believed that I would magically become grown-up overnight as soon as I turned a certain age.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAt first, I blamed the lack of growing up on the age. If 18 wasn't it, then surely 19 was.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOr 21.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMaybe 25?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESurely, 30???\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EMy 30th birthday was the worst birthday of all.\u003C\/b\u003E Even now, 10 years later, I have never had a birthday that was more heavily burdened with expectations and disappointments than my 30th.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI was \u003Ci\u003Edesperately\u003C\/i\u003E awaiting the moment when I would finally feel grown up and in control of things.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI had been waiting for this moment for at least 15 years, and I could \u003Ci\u003Enot\u003C\/i\u003E believe that it hadn't happened yet.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI got married! Became a mom to 4 stepdaughters! Emigrated to a new country, and became a citizen of that country! I went to school, learnt a new profession, threw parties, made friends, faced a hundred big and small challenges.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-h9SIWVEFScE\/X5jgppwBiaI\/AAAAAAAA3Ok\/opT4W-nh6IM8mDrxBriHOMJty1za-Pj0ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s820\/Piggyback.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"690\" data-original-width=\"820\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-h9SIWVEFScE\/X5jgppwBiaI\/AAAAAAAA3Ok\/opT4W-nh6IM8mDrxBriHOMJty1za-Pj0ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Piggyback.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd yet, I always felt small. When I threw a party for 30 people, I felt smaller and less experienced than the 20 or 30-years-older wives of Richard's friends who had hosted parties when I was still in my diapers.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhen I picked up the girls from school, I hid from the other moms, afraid they'd see through the ruse of me pretending to be a grown-up, or, even more outrageous, a parent - I knew nothing!\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhen I went back to school at age 28, I felt too old - but at the same time, still inferior to all those kids who seemed to have boundless confidence and an answer to everything.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMy 30th birthday was not a good one - but it went rapidly uphill from there.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EEven though I still didn't feel even remotely grown-up, I started to gain confidence in a few important areas:\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EI trusted my marriage.\u003C\/b\u003E\u0026nbsp;It needs to be pointed out here that we did \u003Ci\u003Enot\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003Ehave the relationship we have now when we got married. All we knew is that we loved each other desperately, and that we didn't want to live without each other; and that was it. It may seem romantic, but that's not at all enough of a foundation for a life-long relationship. Our beginning was unconventional and hasty due to the circumstances; we did all the work of getting to and learning to live with each other after we got married. It wasn't always easy; we've had some rough patches. I only started to truly believe in us when I entered my 30s. It was all worth it.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-FXKu9Flj-8E\/X5jkWHiIYMI\/AAAAAAAA3O4\/VRbpKr_6twshvo8fgWmgXkLmmsmmA1sFwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Kiss%2B4x6.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1365\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-FXKu9Flj-8E\/X5jkWHiIYMI\/AAAAAAAA3O4\/VRbpKr_6twshvo8fgWmgXkLmmsmmA1sFwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Kiss%2B4x6.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-weight: bold;\"\u003EI made up my mind about my own womb. \u003C\/b\u003EThat's such a \u003Ci\u003Ehuge\u003C\/i\u003E decision in every woman's life, and I had hoped that I would one day wake up and simply know exactly what I wanted. Sadly, that's not how it works. It will be a difficult, heavily debated decision for every woman to make, and you will probably not feel sure of yourself for quite some time. I decided not to have any kids of my own, and I was confronted about that quite a bit. The problem is that a surprising number of people will feel entitled to voice their opinion, and a whole bunch of people who have no business to butt into your life (coworkers, clients, total strangers) will also tell you what you should do, whether you want them to or not. It's another tough stretch in your life where you will yearn to feel in control, but don't.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-weight: bold; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003EI learnt to love my body. \u003C\/b\u003EUnfortunately, due to the times we live in, freeing yourself from society's insane expectations on female bodies is now a rite of passage. You can't reasonably expect any woman to go through the perils of early womanhood and the changes her body undergoes without being severely affected by the omnipresent diet-and body-obsessed culture we live in. Overcoming that pressure is just as difficult as the one to get into a good school, settling on a career, or finding a partner worthy of you.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-IKP9bkbMvqg\/X5jqhabnEPI\/AAAAAAAA3PA\/5KWXMuJiFNoacAoxIvVHPYqjTsmHthnSACLcBGAsYHQ\/s780\/Goddess%2Bpose%2B780.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"780\" data-original-width=\"780\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-IKP9bkbMvqg\/X5jqhabnEPI\/AAAAAAAA3PA\/5KWXMuJiFNoacAoxIvVHPYqjTsmHthnSACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Goddess%2Bpose%2B780.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-weight: bold;\"\u003EI learnt to trust myself. \u003C\/b\u003EThis, without a doubt, is the hardest one of all. For so long, we trust our parents to guide us; we trust them implicitly. Then, as our world opens up, we listen to our teachers, maybe even trusting their advice more than our parents';\u0026nbsp; after all, they went to school, and maybe they know more? That's when we start to get an inkling that life isn't as easy as we were led to believe.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt just gets more confusing from then on. There are friends, and people pretending to be friends, all telling us what we should do and who we should be. We have to take sides, make decisions of who we are, make friends and, subsequently, enemies.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd we are \u003Ci\u003Enot\u003C\/i\u003E ready. Nobody ever told us life would be that complicated. They told us that we would be fine as long as we worked hard and be kind to people. They told us that being a good person was enough.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut that was a lie.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ELife is not as easy as that.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHere are a few truths that will hopefully help you:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E1. Life is really unfair sometimes.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E2. None of us know what we are doing. (Remember that one: it will \u003Ci\u003Enever\u003C\/i\u003E change.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E3. No matter how old you are, you'll always wait for an adultier adult to take over.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E4. You will hit the stage where you simultaneously feel too old, and too young for stuff. It's a confusing time.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E5. You will never feel like you're there yet.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E6. You will always wonder if there is more.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E7. You will doubt yourself.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E8. You will feel defeated.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E9. You will, in vain, wait for wisdom to arrive. Shouldn't it be here by now?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E10. You will never feel like you're grown-up yet.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-bNn5U9DE0VQ\/X5j2egxeWWI\/AAAAAAAA3PI\/HDog8KonLP08X-iS1WXOf8NjkhGHQZUqQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s788\/122824536_10158610070172534_5662343950536502916_n.png\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"457\" data-original-width=\"788\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-bNn5U9DE0VQ\/X5j2egxeWWI\/AAAAAAAA3PI\/HDog8KonLP08X-iS1WXOf8NjkhGHQZUqQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/122824536_10158610070172534_5662343950536502916_n.png\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIf you are a person prone to uncertainty, that uncertainty won't magically disappear.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIf you've always been a worrier, you will still be a worrier even if your existential needs have been taken care of.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou won't stop overthinking and imaging the worst, if you've always been an overthinker, imaging the worst.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut here is what you \u003Ci\u003Ewill \u003C\/i\u003Ehave:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou will have the assurance that you have faced countless scary, knee-shaking situations, and survived them all.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou will know that you are capable of so much more than you ever thought you'd be able to.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou will have survived a great many awkward, embarrassing, formerly-thought-of-as-social-suicide-situations and realized they weren't nearly as bad as you feared they would be.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou will have weeded out some toxic people from your life.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou care a great deal less about what people think of you.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou care even less about what's \"in\" or \"fashionable\".\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou know that not everything is as it appears to be.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou also know that every single person has their own difficulties and hardships.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESocial media is not a torture chamber of comparison anymore, but a delightful source of cat videos, body positivity, and some social conscience (consumed in small doses as to not incite guilt).\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou know that nothing is black and white.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou know that you can start over every single day at every single minute.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou know that it's never too late.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou know that, despite of what you thought 20 years ago, your life was never over. It's only over if you give up, and as long as you don't do that, you will survive everything.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe all have to go through difficult times; none of us is exempt from that. But with every year we gain, we have the chance to gain some more life experience, a thicker skin, and more skills to deal with whatever challenges might come next.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe won't ever have it all figured out; we will always fumble and curse and feel lost; we will never feel 100% competent.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EBut we will have the strength, patience, and resilience to deal with life's challenges.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThat's the true gift of aging: resilience.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/4231648569254709227\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/10\/a-message-to-all-younger-women.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/4231648569254709227"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/4231648569254709227"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/10\/a-message-to-all-younger-women.html","title":"A message to all younger women"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-V5GK87tlrQ0\/X5jiRYyH_rI\/AAAAAAAA3Os\/Lv-OpcPK5jQhEFSNfzCK231oVqY3DmpEgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/people-2567915_1920.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-7955087217787974728"},"published":{"$t":"2020-10-17T20:09:00.006-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-10-18T11:03:47.538-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"yoga"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Why I always come back to yoga"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-BMozT7Z0ao8\/X4uJbX0cOSI\/AAAAAAAA3IY\/mt9Fqtp4SYMhzMDH07MDv7uJC1lnyAnFACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1843\/Cow%2Bface%2Bpose%2BAug%2B21.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1250\" data-original-width=\"1843\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-BMozT7Z0ao8\/X4uJbX0cOSI\/AAAAAAAA3IY\/mt9Fqtp4SYMhzMDH07MDv7uJC1lnyAnFACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Cow%2Bface%2Bpose%2BAug%2B21.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2015\/03\/yoga-diaries.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EI first fell in love with yoga\u003C\/a\u003E during a Hawaiian vacation in the spring of 2015. For the first two years, I practiced almost every day, falling in love with the practice, my body, and my mind. I especially loved practicing on our front lawn, which I could do almost year-round due to the mild winters we had in the Lower Mainland.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe dogs were always around me. I watched the gangs of young ducks, upside down from between my legs in downward-facing-dog, growing from young, flighty ducklings into self-assured, boisterous teenagers, unimpressed by the dogs or bigger birds.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOur group of peacocks would do their own stretches in the morning sun, my faithful companions every time I rolled my mat out.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe grass was green and soft even in the middle of winter.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOur evergreen trees held their protective arms above me every day of the year.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt was a magical, very special place to do yoga.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt was what churches were built for: a sacred place to connect with a power bigger than us. I deeply loved that space.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-FHc9ozC9ZR4\/X4uQlL5GdfI\/AAAAAAAA3JM\/LfQ7URwqlxYtzF4Uu2VSx-Vl6BfzaLoegCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1672\/Side%2Bcrane%2BFeb%2B22.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1672\" data-original-width=\"1672\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-FHc9ozC9ZR4\/X4uQlL5GdfI\/AAAAAAAA3JM\/LfQ7URwqlxYtzF4Uu2VSx-Vl6BfzaLoegCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Side%2Bcrane%2BFeb%2B22.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003EFebruary\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-9taCBr5XgvY\/X4uP3XeGuPI\/AAAAAAAA3Is\/OmhB9BWKjmc6Pw41eQT_RYb1pFMlqjtTQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Big%2BToe%2BPose%2B%2528Padangusthasana%2529%2BMay%2B14.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1365\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-9taCBr5XgvY\/X4uP3XeGuPI\/AAAAAAAA3Is\/OmhB9BWKjmc6Pw41eQT_RYb1pFMlqjtTQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Big%2BToe%2BPose%2B%2528Padangusthasana%2529%2BMay%2B14.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003EMay\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-m8ekWNXP2WA\/X4uRkKry0lI\/AAAAAAAA3Jc\/c4OoziJcDQgXu77-k2DmMHBMLr1KFzR9ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Flying%2Bcrow%2BJuly%2B17.JPG\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1365\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-m8ekWNXP2WA\/X4uRkKry0lI\/AAAAAAAA3Jc\/c4OoziJcDQgXu77-k2DmMHBMLr1KFzR9ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Flying%2Bcrow%2BJuly%2B17.JPG\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003EJuly\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-gP2u85k7TbM\/X4uP2wRhMcI\/AAAAAAAA3Io\/kzpIgzX7hx8-5lHpf-AyNPDlHVMtijQcgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1878\/Camel%2Bpose%2BNov%2B12.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1878\" data-original-width=\"1878\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-gP2u85k7TbM\/X4uP2wRhMcI\/AAAAAAAA3Io\/kzpIgzX7hx8-5lHpf-AyNPDlHVMtijQcgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Camel%2Bpose%2BNov%2B12.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003EOctober\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-gOizuXev9FU\/X4uP4JLEzjI\/AAAAAAAA3I0\/4lPzI8Il938WUyDGFJFFCji4sHT4wdGmACLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Chaturanga%2BDandasana%2BJan%2B1.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"2048\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-gOizuXev9FU\/X4uP4JLEzjI\/AAAAAAAA3I0\/4lPzI8Il938WUyDGFJFFCji4sHT4wdGmACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Chaturanga%2BDandasana%2BJan%2B1.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003EJanuary\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EDuring the hottest summer months, I mostly retreated to my second sacred place on our farm: our willow tree by the pond. From there, I would observe the swans, geese and ducks do their tranquil rounds on the still water, a soft breeze rustling the leaves of the majestic, protective willow tree.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-0OvuTHai1uA\/X4uU9zcMwWI\/AAAAAAAA3Jw\/GOEXYECcBkYr0gm2LTd1A4b8muYHRd5aACLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Crow%2Bpose%2BJune%2B26.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1388\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-0OvuTHai1uA\/X4uU9zcMwWI\/AAAAAAAA3Jw\/GOEXYECcBkYr0gm2LTd1A4b8muYHRd5aACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Crow%2Bpose%2BJune%2B26.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-AEJYTKPFnoM\/X4uU9zlNx3I\/AAAAAAAA3Js\/1R1S7rOeywIOouqfGgwJ6W6zh4CtGTAaACLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Dancer%2Bpose%2BAug%2B11.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1457\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-AEJYTKPFnoM\/X4uU9zlNx3I\/AAAAAAAA3Js\/1R1S7rOeywIOouqfGgwJ6W6zh4CtGTAaACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Dancer%2Bpose%2BAug%2B11.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-SIGTFqfSMbM\/X4uUhu7szjI\/AAAAAAAA3Jk\/X662UYZlFWwszZ6BnUoGLlbeuwJdzai7wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Wheel%2Bpose%2BAug%2B11.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1743\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-SIGTFqfSMbM\/X4uUhu7szjI\/AAAAAAAA3Jk\/X662UYZlFWwszZ6BnUoGLlbeuwJdzai7wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Wheel%2Bpose%2BAug%2B11.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1ef5Yau8LXw\/X4uWdsxUwSI\/AAAAAAAA3KE\/gHqqWIF9Y6wo4CwNDlvQ9-uIdhU18Nh4ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1843\/Wild%2BThing%2Bpose%2BJuly%2B28.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1843\" data-original-width=\"1843\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1ef5Yau8LXw\/X4uWdsxUwSI\/AAAAAAAA3KE\/gHqqWIF9Y6wo4CwNDlvQ9-uIdhU18Nh4ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Wild%2BThing%2Bpose%2BJuly%2B28.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd then we moved. And in many - most! - ways, all my dreams came true. \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2017\/05\/have-i-accidentally-become-social.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EWe found a community\u003C\/a\u003E. I fell back in love \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2018\/10\/x-ray-girl.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ewith my job again\u003C\/a\u003E. I fulfilled my biggest, wildest dream and \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/miriamverheyden.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ewrote and published two books\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThroughout it all, I tried to keep my yoga practice up.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut there was no soft, green grass here. No wise trees I could roll my mat out underneath.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe terrain was steep, dry, and rocky. The snow came in November and didn't leave until February or March.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOf course, I had my cozy, beautiful home.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/--4raWXbKffE\/X4udKM5SllI\/AAAAAAAA3Ks\/NUr46lwGtkgTCbbxHrT0Ihv1V9La2vIeQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Chinstand%2BJan%2B9.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"2048\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/--4raWXbKffE\/X4udKM5SllI\/AAAAAAAA3Ks\/NUr46lwGtkgTCbbxHrT0Ihv1V9La2vIeQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Chinstand%2BJan%2B9.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ub2nU2Ihr74\/X4udJzAlyZI\/AAAAAAAA3Kk\/Et2HX6BpVZIHP4IDX7EoobiVLEaLhjspACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1774\/Compass%2Bpose%2BJan%2B12.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1774\" data-original-width=\"1774\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ub2nU2Ihr74\/X4udJzAlyZI\/AAAAAAAA3Kk\/Et2HX6BpVZIHP4IDX7EoobiVLEaLhjspACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Compass%2Bpose%2BJan%2B12.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Z4eTNMZkQI4\/X4udKLQd66I\/AAAAAAAA3Ko\/4BjmD5FzNZs6mZM8Xs-RwYB6RlvFpzZIwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Wheelpose%2BJan%2B11.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1739\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Z4eTNMZkQI4\/X4udKLQd66I\/AAAAAAAA3Ko\/4BjmD5FzNZs6mZM8Xs-RwYB6RlvFpzZIwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Wheelpose%2BJan%2B11.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd I started my practice there right away. (You can still see the old wall colour! I repainted 6 months after we moved in.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut it didn't feel right. And little by little, I started to abandon my practice.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe built a LOT of stuff during our first year. We built barns, chicken coops, sheepy hollow, aviaries, and strengthened all our fences. I had started at a new job, worked on my first book, and we still drove back to our old home a lot to visit family and friends. It was easy to put yoga on the back burner.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThen \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/p\/lyme-disease.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ERich got sick\u003C\/a\u003E. It drove everything out of my mind. For months I saw my formerly strong, confident husband wither away, and I was besides myself with worry. The last thing I thought about was any kind of exercise or spiritual practice.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOnce we found a treatment that worked and he got better, things happened fast:\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- we started building my\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2018\/09\/she-shed-tour.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EShe Shed\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2018\/07\/new-adventure-ahead.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EI accepted a job\u003C\/a\u003E that would take me away from home half the time for an entire year\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- we had a LOT of overnight guests for 2 years\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- I took on a new, \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2019\/11\/pup-and-work-til-you-drop.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Erewarding, yet challenging job\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E- Covid arrived\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIn between I dealt with some \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2019\/06\/what-is-pmdd.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Epretty severe PMDD\u003C\/a\u003E, my usual\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/02\/laying-low.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Edepression\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;- \u003Cb\u003Eand something else\u003C\/b\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ZYNWaLeimn0\/X4umqHBukEI\/AAAAAAAA3LQ\/FWL7Fl7taDkUpjMhR025m2Fy6mws5DJwACLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Pigeon%2Bpose.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1453\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ZYNWaLeimn0\/X4umqHBukEI\/AAAAAAAA3LQ\/FWL7Fl7taDkUpjMhR025m2Fy6mws5DJwACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Pigeon%2Bpose.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESomething that didn't become clear to me until I restarted my yoga practice last month.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EI needed to grieve.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMy previous yoga practice was intrinsically connected to our old home. As much as I loved our new home, a part of myself grieved for the loss of the year-round soft grass, the tranquillity of the willow tree, and the peacocks, ducks and geese as my yoga partners.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI didn't want to see it, though. \u003Ci\u003EEverything\u003C\/i\u003E needed to be amazing about our new home, okay?? Because we would never go back. So I desperately needed everything to be \u003Ci\u003Egreat\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp; And instead of facing the changes that my yoga practice would have to undergo, it was easier to just abandon it altogether. Avoidance is an old favourite of all of us who struggle with too many feelings, isn't it?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-96Yl5jgNLNQ\/X4umYb1882I\/AAAAAAAA3LI\/1EtRyGLQq_UDW4kHSsooS58kOl9fX3DfACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1843\/Bird%2Bof%2Bparadise%2Bvariation%2BMay%2B14.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1843\" data-original-width=\"1843\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-96Yl5jgNLNQ\/X4umYb1882I\/AAAAAAAA3LI\/1EtRyGLQq_UDW4kHSsooS58kOl9fX3DfACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Bird%2Bof%2Bparadise%2Bvariation%2BMay%2B14.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-9-AG0-f6AQc\/X4uk0R6pa_I\/AAAAAAAA3LA\/6pAZlCQa1pw3NAr3KGtYz0fa1b89uamrACLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Astavakrasana%2BJune%2B4.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1377\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-9-AG0-f6AQc\/X4uk0R6pa_I\/AAAAAAAA3LA\/6pAZlCQa1pw3NAr3KGtYz0fa1b89uamrACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Astavakrasana%2BJune%2B4.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWell, my body had other ideas. It's been protesting loudly against me abandoning my practice for the last 2 years. I've been having breathing issues that I've never had before; I've gained weight; I've lost strength; and most importantly, I've started to not recognize my body anymore.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EIt was time to face my demons.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI had to acknowledge and honour my feelings about our old home: my first spiritual yoga home.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI had to acknowledge that this home was gone; and that all my sad feelings about it were justified and \u003Ci\u003Eokay\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI had been taught that yoga is not about the location, but the internal world. Some of the yoga teachers I followed would practice in their hotel room's bathroom if they were away, because that was the only room that didn't have carpet, and say that was totally okay.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EFor me, it wouldn't be. I like to look at nature when I practice; that's half the pleasure for me.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo over the last few weeks, I've established a new, maybe less Instagrammable, but \u003Ci\u003Esustainable for my new life\u003C\/i\u003E practice.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-um3sn34eASQ\/X4uqLnJJTnI\/AAAAAAAA3Lg\/tTpqCplwsd4cT-yCzyZGMgcze2n_dMv0gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Forward%2Bfold.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-um3sn34eASQ\/X4uqLnJJTnI\/AAAAAAAA3Lg\/tTpqCplwsd4cT-yCzyZGMgcze2n_dMv0gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Forward%2Bfold.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-7fiDYkFo5QI\/X4uqLXdO7LI\/AAAAAAAA3LY\/MS7lAulG5YMmLPtsWtFNQzcRoNRdU33egCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Side%2Bcrow.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-7fiDYkFo5QI\/X4uqLXdO7LI\/AAAAAAAA3LY\/MS7lAulG5YMmLPtsWtFNQzcRoNRdU33egCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Side%2Bcrow.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI \u003Ci\u003Eneed\u003C\/i\u003E yoga in my life. It's the only way how I truly feel like myself. I need a deep connection between my body, mind and soul, and the disconnect I've been experiencing over the last couple of years is evident in everything I do right now.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EOver the last few weeks I've been doing one of the hundred's of\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/user\/KinoYoga\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EKinoyoga's\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;videos almost every day.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt feels SO GOOD.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EShe has been my first inspiration, and after some time away, she is still the teacher I love and admire the most.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm into practices that strengthen your arms, shoulders and core, and she offers plenty of those. Kino is also incredibly flexible, which is very inspiring to me.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EBefore I leave, I'll share the 3 videos of hers I've practiced the most lately - they are all challenging, but amazing!! I feel better than I have in months.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EThis one is hard-core for your abs and shoulders:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" class=\"BLOG_video_class\" height=\"266\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/sHuCJNozTMM\" width=\"320\" youtube-src-id=\"sHuCJNozTMM\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EThis is the only 1-hour video I've done, it's good:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" class=\"BLOG_video_class\" height=\"266\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/-rFN0VtwlBo\" width=\"320\" youtube-src-id=\"-rFN0VtwlBo\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EHere's a solid, not-too-hard, but still challenging 20-minute one:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" class=\"BLOG_video_class\" height=\"266\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/xxjO8ZdhaVo\" width=\"320\" youtube-src-id=\"xxjO8ZdhaVo\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EAnd here is a very good 30-minute video:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" class=\"BLOG_video_class\" height=\"266\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/AUaTzqkPzVc\" width=\"320\" youtube-src-id=\"AUaTzqkPzVc\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EThese are just 4 out of 100s, maybe more, free videos on\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCH-81uaxCwAAaSgxRtxMkxg\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EYouTube\u003C\/a\u003E. I love Kino MacGregor; she's the only one I consider to be my yoga teacher.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EOne of the things that helped me overcome the loss of my first sacred space of yoga is that she is teaching from all over the world. Her videos have been shot everywhere from Miami, where she is based, to Hong Kong, Hawaii, every country in Europe, to Mysore, her spiritual home in India.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI've learnt to embrace practicing on our deck; the living room; or my She Shed's porch. Over the last few weeks I've learnt to appreciate the magic of this place: the hummingbirds (and wasps, less magical, but just as real) flying over me while I'm doing my practice on our deck; having Dixie and Lily trip over me while I'm on my mat in the living room; and having to adjust to the narrow layout of my porch on the She Shed. It's different, but it's in no way less magical.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI can't tell you how much it means to me to that I've found my way back to this incredible, life-affirming practice.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EYoga was the last piece that was missing.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI have only now truly, fully come home.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-wgjoyhwmYaI\/X4uvjSAWZMI\/AAAAAAAA3Ls\/7ioBXYXD2x4322IqNxTQrBeD-88ioxEPQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Tree%2Bpose%2BJan%2B9.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1365\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-wgjoyhwmYaI\/X4uvjSAWZMI\/AAAAAAAA3Ls\/7ioBXYXD2x4322IqNxTQrBeD-88ioxEPQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Tree%2Bpose%2BJan%2B9.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/7955087217787974728\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/10\/why-i-always-come-back-to-yoga.html#comment-form","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/7955087217787974728"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/7955087217787974728"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/10\/why-i-always-come-back-to-yoga.html","title":"Why I always come back to yoga"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-BMozT7Z0ao8\/X4uJbX0cOSI\/AAAAAAAA3IY\/mt9Fqtp4SYMhzMDH07MDv7uJC1lnyAnFACLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Cow%2Bface%2Bpose%2BAug%2B21.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-2356190614075460676"},"published":{"$t":"2020-10-06T20:37:00.004-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-10-06T20:37:52.153-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"fall"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"magic"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"nature"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"seasons"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"A magic sunset"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-THtv6HytAkM\/X302r22RcUI\/AAAAAAAA3HQ\/uWUIl5yv_jovb-nHsrWJAUZpJx4OWo7QQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s843\/Cat%2Badmiring%2Bsunset%2B3.png\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"532\" data-original-width=\"843\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-THtv6HytAkM\/X302r22RcUI\/AAAAAAAA3HQ\/uWUIl5yv_jovb-nHsrWJAUZpJx4OWo7QQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Cat%2Badmiring%2Bsunset%2B3.png\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EThe cat, dogs, Rich and I saw the most incredible sunset last night. I took a video with the hyper-lapse function on my phone of it (I recorded for 19 minutes, which is condensed to 19 seconds), and it looks so cool that I wanted to share it on here as well.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EWhat did we even do before cellphones??\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" class=\"BLOG_video_class\" height=\"266\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/KWdzeo5TTGI\" width=\"320\" youtube-src-id=\"KWdzeo5TTGI\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/2356190614075460676\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/10\/a-magic-sunset.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/2356190614075460676"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/2356190614075460676"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/10\/a-magic-sunset.html","title":"A magic sunset"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-THtv6HytAkM\/X302r22RcUI\/AAAAAAAA3HQ\/uWUIl5yv_jovb-nHsrWJAUZpJx4OWo7QQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Cat%2Badmiring%2Bsunset%2B3.png","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-2495876293837571630"},"published":{"$t":"2020-10-05T09:59:00.005-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-10-05T19:16:33.615-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"farmlife"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"horses"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Life with horses"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-sRcgqugW_Cc\/X3tPT2-6jNI\/AAAAAAAA3Gg\/0YTATM7sYzoIJ-PkNcF1EV_DfX8OcinhgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s868\/Horses%2Bplaying%2Bat%2Bdusk%2B2%2Bedited.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"868\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-sRcgqugW_Cc\/X3tPT2-6jNI\/AAAAAAAA3Gg\/0YTATM7sYzoIJ-PkNcF1EV_DfX8OcinhgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Horses%2Bplaying%2Bat%2Bdusk%2B2%2Bedited.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI was 20 years old when I galloped on a horse for the first time. My friend had taken me to her barn where we borrowed a horse for me, and we went for a nice, leisurely ride through the German forest. At the end of it, a large meadow separated us from the barn. She turned to me and asked: \"Do you want to run home? The horses know the way. All you have to do is to hang on tight.\" Before I could think of a bunch of excuses not to do it, she kicked her horse softly in the side and took off, with mine following close behind.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003EIt was one of the biggest thrills of my life. The speed, the wind in my hair, the fear mixed with excitement - it was incredible. When we came to a stop, I felt high. From that moment on I was infatuated with horses.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThat experience led me to a ranch in Canada two years later, where I met Rich, which led me to moving to Canada - and a \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2014\/07\/horses-gone-wild.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Elife with horses\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-taI5Aodt0pI\/X3s_bnzoYdI\/AAAAAAAA3FY\/T1LO27Or_98bxXxk09CHrK1apeTkfuP9ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Wild%2Bheart%2B2.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1365\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-taI5Aodt0pI\/X3s_bnzoYdI\/AAAAAAAA3FY\/T1LO27Or_98bxXxk09CHrK1apeTkfuP9ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Wild%2Bheart%2B2.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI never became the accomplished horsewoman I fantasized I would be one day. The loss of control I felt that first time when I galloped across the meadow with my friend turned from being thrilling to being scary. I've never learnt to really control a horse, and to this day I'm a timid rider.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut I love horses. They are amongst the most sensitive, gentle, and calming animals I know, and being with them is like therapy. I love their smell, the way they greet us when they see us in the morning, and that they come to the fence to say hi every time we walk by.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-in0bhwK-QY0\/X3tBtIMjmmI\/AAAAAAAA3Fg\/85r_XRmoKfwAHcnHYpIxd4CiHzvtP73kQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Fire%2Band%2Bme%2B2.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1365\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-in0bhwK-QY0\/X3tBtIMjmmI\/AAAAAAAA3Fg\/85r_XRmoKfwAHcnHYpIxd4CiHzvtP73kQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Fire%2Band%2Bme%2B2.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Avhjzqca7jk\/X3tB50Fn2kI\/AAAAAAAA3Fk\/1dJevNm1NHgkZvVTxg-5659-u__cxs0rwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s720\/IMG_20120908_174814.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"720\" data-original-width=\"720\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Avhjzqca7jk\/X3tB50Fn2kI\/AAAAAAAA3Fk\/1dJevNm1NHgkZvVTxg-5659-u__cxs0rwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/IMG_20120908_174814.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThey are wonderful animals, but they are not cheap. When Rich became \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/p\/lyme-disease.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Esick with Lyme disease\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;three years ago and it looked like he may never be able to ride again, we considered briefly to sell our horses. It would make financial sense, since it would considerably cut down on our feeding bill, we wouldn't have to schlep hay twice a day, and the only thing even cheaper than\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.homeclimate.net\/most-energy-efficient-space-heaters\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eenergy-efficient heaters\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;are not needing heaters at all.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut we quickly discarded that idea. Even if we would never ride again (but thankfully, we can!), we couldn't imagine a life without horses. They are part of our family just as much as the dogs are. Watching them, working with them, cuddling up to them and just being around them are daily joys that make our life richer.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-4o2a8mSx0aI\/X3tGhRzaiDI\/AAAAAAAA3Fw\/ySEZkxNTzHU_ypq1v8YC4IJVdIq5muRAwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Rich%2Band%2BRed.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1654\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-4o2a8mSx0aI\/X3tGhRzaiDI\/AAAAAAAA3Fw\/ySEZkxNTzHU_ypq1v8YC4IJVdIq5muRAwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Rich%2Band%2BRed.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-MKSwwNTFVTI\/X3tH-KhiV9I\/AAAAAAAA3GA\/l5hkzVRcoAUMktkq7W1rMLIhOwWPPoDAACLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Rich%2Band%2BDancer%2Bon%2Btheir%2Bfirst%2Bevening%2Bride.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1480\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-MKSwwNTFVTI\/X3tH-KhiV9I\/AAAAAAAA3GA\/l5hkzVRcoAUMktkq7W1rMLIhOwWPPoDAACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Rich%2Band%2BDancer%2Bon%2Btheir%2Bfirst%2Bevening%2Bride.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhile to me, horses are a pleasurable part of life, to Rich they are more than that. Horses are part of his identity. They make up a piece of who he is. He didn't learn to ride until he was 40, when he spontaneously bought his first horse from a horse auction. Not having anticipated to go home with a horse, he didn't bring a trailer (mainly because he didn't own one), so he walked the 7 km home with his new horse in tow.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt was a match made in heaven. He deeply loves horses, and they love him. They understand each other. Living on a ranch in the wild west is his dream come true, just as for me it is to be a writer who is surrounded by dogs, with the horses grazing outside her window.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWords are part of my identity - putting them together in a way that is beautiful and makes sense of the world, but also reading them in as many forms as possible: books, newspapers, letters. With part of my family being in Germany, using\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/physicaladdress.com\/virtual-mailbox-atlanta-georgia\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Evirtual mail box solutions\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;is a great way to track when post from my sister or nieces are on their way even when I'm not home.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-JHRF2m58xeM\/X3tPlP4HP1I\/AAAAAAAA3Go\/arhF8EJUpnwY8GMpJdwoLpmVjdx7eki6ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Maya%2Band%2Bmom.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1542\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-JHRF2m58xeM\/X3tPlP4HP1I\/AAAAAAAA3Go\/arhF8EJUpnwY8GMpJdwoLpmVjdx7eki6ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Maya%2Band%2Bmom.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lVlDHzqlo9I\/X3tP6b6ZWMI\/AAAAAAAA3G0\/PJZFJ09yo-QU7s-cNzeIrjre6lPJPGadgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/3%2Bhorses.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1265\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lVlDHzqlo9I\/X3tP6b6ZWMI\/AAAAAAAA3G0\/PJZFJ09yo-QU7s-cNzeIrjre6lPJPGadgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/3%2Bhorses.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EI'm so grateful for that summer day 20 years ago when my friend introduced me to my first wild ride on a horse. It set a chain of events in motion that led me right here: to a place, people, and a life that suits me perfectly. This is home.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-EX5xbqMSu54\/X3tPsvU7FgI\/AAAAAAAA3Gs\/rqdeOaeavZcBaS5GRK-bPrsKGzkDnJlrQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Sitting%2Bon%2BOreo.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-EX5xbqMSu54\/X3tPsvU7FgI\/AAAAAAAA3Gs\/rqdeOaeavZcBaS5GRK-bPrsKGzkDnJlrQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Sitting%2Bon%2BOreo.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/2495876293837571630\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/10\/life-with-horses.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/2495876293837571630"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/2495876293837571630"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/10\/life-with-horses.html","title":"Life with horses"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-sRcgqugW_Cc\/X3tPT2-6jNI\/AAAAAAAA3Gg\/0YTATM7sYzoIJ-PkNcF1EV_DfX8OcinhgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Horses%2Bplaying%2Bat%2Bdusk%2B2%2Bedited.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-5266747100980401813"},"published":{"$t":"2020-09-28T22:18:00.003-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-10-22T18:24:51.897-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"body confidence"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"covid-19"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life lessons"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"self love"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"weight gain"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"About gaining the quarantine 15"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ojgLMSA9W4o\/X3KLrEsqcOI\/AAAAAAAA2_4\/mvEyRk_q95gGUdCfpSnLJvRAIsJtsqM5QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Long%2Bshadow.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ojgLMSA9W4o\/X3KLrEsqcOI\/AAAAAAAA2_4\/mvEyRk_q95gGUdCfpSnLJvRAIsJtsqM5QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Long%2Bshadow.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt has finally happened! For the first time in my life, I'm part of a current phenomenon, and not about 5 years behind, which is usually my style. No, this time I'm right in the front with so many of us who have all experienced yet another delightful experience of 2020: weight gain. As with everything else, some people have taken offence to naming it something amusing like \"Quarantine 15\" or \"gaining the Covid 19\", but I like it. I appreciate puns and jokes, and I love people who find humour in everything. It makes life so much more fun.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003EAs a woman, I've obviously been affected by everything surrounding dieting, fitness, eating, body image, feeling inadequate in my body, and all the other fun stuff that the patriarchy and diet culture have invented to keep women small and too distracted and hungry to protest the gender inequality that is still happening today.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI wrote an entire chapter about it in my book \u003Ci\u003EQuit the Hustle, \u003C\/i\u003Ewhich you can either download\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Quit-Hustle-overcoming-everything-yourself-ebook\/dp\/B07TX5QFZ9\/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8\u0026amp;qid=1569595992\u0026amp;sr=8-2\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ehere\u003C\/a\u003E, or get emailed to you for free this upcoming Sunday if you sign up for\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/tinyletter.com\/Farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Emy newsletter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-3Iq5wKQjBT0\/X3KRW4qIe_I\/AAAAAAAA3AA\/_6Uyb5BgzIgSxtdoKMuva6DXmDB3cxZrgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Golden%2Bhour%2Bcabin.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"607\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-3Iq5wKQjBT0\/X3KRW4qIe_I\/AAAAAAAA3AA\/_6Uyb5BgzIgSxtdoKMuva6DXmDB3cxZrgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Golden%2Bhour%2Bcabin.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2017\/04\/about-body-positivity.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EI made peace with my body\u003C\/a\u003E in my mid-thirties. It was partly due to reaping some reward of the long-awaited, age-related wisdom that finally made it my way; but mostly it was part to me being in \u003Ci\u003Egreat \u003C\/i\u003Eshape during that time.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI was toned, fit and strong. My yoga photos on Instagram took off like (a very small) wildfire, and I never felt better.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EPeople I knew IRL commented favourably on my back muscles, my metabolism was still my friend, and I could indulgently look at my cellulite and meaty thighs, resting assured that they were in fine form, imperfections be damned.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI felt on fire, because I \u003Ci\u003Ewas\u003C\/i\u003E. My body had never felt more like my own, I had never felt better, and best of all? I had finally reached that fabled destination by \u003Cb\u003Eletting go of external pressures\u003C\/b\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt was a golden, body-perfect time.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI didn't diet. (And I never will again.)\u003Cbr \/\u003EI didn't obsess. (And I never will again.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI didn't follow any diet, or plan, or \"lifestyle change\". (And I never will again.)\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EI felt invincible.\u003C\/b\u003E I believed in cutting ties with anything diet- or \"lifestyle-change\"-related (still do, always will), but I also was in my personal peak body condition.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm not anymore.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-hzK4Isk3IZ4\/X3KrCo7SJDI\/AAAAAAAA3AI\/eYLkeWGCZNESoGX-XvDYr67A-352XSwLgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Golden%2Bhour%2Bedited.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"608\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-hzK4Isk3IZ4\/X3KrCo7SJDI\/AAAAAAAA3AI\/eYLkeWGCZNESoGX-XvDYr67A-352XSwLgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Golden%2Bhour%2Bedited.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: x-small;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003EAnd \u003Cb\u003Eno\u003C\/b\u003E, I'm not gonna post \u003Ci\u003Ebefore\u003C\/i\u003E pictures. That's not at \u003Ci\u003Eall\u003C\/i\u003E what this post is about.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've gained about 20 pounds over the last 2-3 years. \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2019\/01\/the-middle-age-spread.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EIt wasn't all due to the pandemic\u003C\/a\u003E, even though it definitely played a part. It's so much more awesome to eat junk food as part of a social movement than it is doing it by yourself because you're bored or stressed out, right? All the celebrities were doing it, too! It was like being let loose in a candy store as an 8-year-old, without parental supervision, \u003Ci\u003Efor several months on end\u003C\/i\u003E. How could I not participate?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo I did. And I don't regret it. I've heard rumours of people using the quarantine to up their fitness regime or lose weight, and good for them. But I almost feel sorry for them. Talk about poor timing. They missed out on experiencing something essential: every agonizing, excruciating step that made up the collective social adventure of our first-ever pandemic:\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EPanic.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBuy toilet paper in bulk, then lie about it.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWatch \u003Ci\u003ETiger King\u003C\/i\u003E in one incredulous, deliciously disgusted binge.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EFeverishly monitor your store's website for news when the next truckload of sanitizer will be in.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOverdose on watching the news, get sick of it, then make up for it by binge-watching \u003Ci\u003EFriends\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBake a lot of bread.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESay goodbye to your tightest pants. Who needs them anyway? We're all wearing yoga pants now.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ELearn a new skill. (A lot of people will be getting poorly hand-knitted scarves this Christmas.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ELie motionless on your couch, too overwhelmed by everything to do anything.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EDiscover that it's not 5 o'clock somewhere, it's quarantine o'clock \u003Ci\u003Eeverywhere\u003C\/i\u003E.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWatch the news in an increasingly numbed, disbelieving stupor: Breonna Taylor. George Floyd.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.cbsnews.com\/pictures\/black-people-killed-by-police-in-the-us-in-2020-part-2\/10\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003E162 more names for the first eight months of 2020\u003C\/a\u003E. Everything Donald Trump says. The West coast burning. None of us being able to travel or see our friends.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EEmbrace pizza as one of the main food groups. (Did you know that it's a terrific breakfast food? It is.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThrow away the scale - nobody needs any more negativity in 2020.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWitness The Dixie Chicks get rid of the \u003Ci\u003EDixie\u003C\/i\u003E\u0026nbsp;part of their name due to its Confederate roots and release a powerful, incredibly moving song under their new identity as The Chicks:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" class=\"BLOG_video_class\" height=\"266\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/xwBjF_VVFvE\" width=\"320\" youtube-src-id=\"xwBjF_VVFvE\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThere are a whole bunch of steps in between and after, but I'm summarizing. Long story short: if you've been paying attention this year, you may have been too busy to count calories and get regular workouts in.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's been the most unusual, unsettling year in most of our lives. And we've all been struggling to find ways to survive.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIn my case, it consisted of\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/09\/trying-to-recapture-my-balance.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eworking too much\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;and spending the rest of the time thinking as little as possible. My favourite ways of drowning out reality, my thoughts and too much awareness are losing myself in stories in the form of books, audio books and Netflix; drinking wine; and sleeping.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI traded yoga for hours of Netflix, veggies for sour candy, and being mindful for trying my hardest \u003Ci\u003Enot \u003C\/i\u003Eto think.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm not surprised that my body changed.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-soBAZkedSpM\/X3K2pfTld2I\/AAAAAAAA3AQ\/Hnv_Rpzd5iQ37Qgad-uO9QKttadMw5NagCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Grateful%252C%2Breflective%2BMiri.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-soBAZkedSpM\/X3K2pfTld2I\/AAAAAAAA3AQ\/Hnv_Rpzd5iQ37Qgad-uO9QKttadMw5NagCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Grateful%252C%2Breflective%2BMiri.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EFor a while I stayed in blissful ignorance: not weighing myself, ordering clothes a size up, telling myself to appreciate my ass getting bigger, approaching Kardashian-dimensions without having to pay a dime for it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EBut the other week I did reluctantly step on the scale, just to see what I already knew: I had gained weight.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EDid it shake my world or my self esteem? No, it didn't. Success!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EDid it annoy me? Yes, it did.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EFor about 10 years my weight has been stable. Without deprivation, diets or any \"program\" I've been maintaining what has been right for my body.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EThis new weight doesn't feel comfortable. It doesn't feel right. I'm not sure if it's mainly due to my lack of exercise and trading veggies for junk food (even though I have a strong suspicion that it has a \u003Ci\u003Elot\u003C\/i\u003E to do with it), or if it's also due to me being in my 40s.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAll I know is this: I want to return to my healthier habits.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm not going to restrict anything. I'm not going to go on a diet. (Never again!)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut I'm ready to be more mindful again, to do yoga regularly again, and to listen to my body's clues. This is\u003Cb\u003E not\u003C\/b\u003E the beginning of a before\/after. This is \u003Cb\u003Enot\u003C\/b\u003E a weight loss journey.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThis is me waking up from a stupor.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ETaking a step back from numbing myself.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EMaking choices that serve \u003Ci\u003Eme\u003C\/i\u003E more than my ego.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EGetting prepared to face my innermost thoughts and demons on the mat once more.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EGetting strong again, mentally and physically.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd observing where those changes lead my body's physique. Maybe I will lose some weight, if that's what my body needs. Maybe I will stay where I am now. \u003Cb\u003EIt doesn't matter.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe only thing that matters, the only thing I'm really excited about, is to get reacquainted to my body again. \u003Cb\u003EI used to know her intimately. I used to know exactly what she could and could not do.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut I lost her. I lost the knowledge, and the close connection to my body.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe last few years have been an intense roller coaster of my husband's mystery illness, then coming to terms with his chronic illness, me taking several new jobs, publishing 2 books, and dealing with some private issues.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI didn't realize it, but I've lost myself.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd my body, my reliable, trusty, incredible body, has been doing everything it can think of to get my attention.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt developed a persistent, wheezy shortness of breath with no discernible cause.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt gave me an allergic reaction to a wasp bite for the first time in my life, forcing me to take a day off work.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt took my voice earlier this year, rendering me effectively speechless for 3 days.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd now it's been plumping up my butt, belly and thighs, just like it did 20 years ago, when I was at my unhappiest.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIs it a last-ditch effort to get my attention?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOr just the consequences of \"being bad\"?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI don't believe in vilifying food or body movement (or the lack thereof).\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut I most \u003Ci\u003Edefinitely\u003C\/i\u003E believe in our bodies trying to tell us something.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI hear you, body. And I'm listening.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/5266747100980401813\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/09\/about-gaining-quarantine-15.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/5266747100980401813"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/5266747100980401813"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/09\/about-gaining-quarantine-15.html","title":"About gaining the quarantine 15"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ojgLMSA9W4o\/X3KLrEsqcOI\/AAAAAAAA2_4\/mvEyRk_q95gGUdCfpSnLJvRAIsJtsqM5QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Long%2Bshadow.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-8452575101826009490"},"published":{"$t":"2020-09-24T20:24:00.003-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-10-22T18:23:08.459-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"dreams"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"intuitive living"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life lessons"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"writing"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Trying to recapture my balance"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-bnzagaI0wWU\/X2qLHQq2biI\/AAAAAAAA2-U\/osJfQuNIEc8ALi0sR3DgX1U4tiLHQCp5QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Wild%2Band%2Bfree%2BPicmonkeyd.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-bnzagaI0wWU\/X2qLHQq2biI\/AAAAAAAA2-U\/osJfQuNIEc8ALi0sR3DgX1U4tiLHQCp5QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Wild%2Band%2Bfree%2BPicmonkeyd.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm sitting in my freshly cleaned, cozy cabin. The fire is going, Taylor Swift is softly crooning in the background, the big dogs are lying next to me and I'm finally,\u0026nbsp;\u003Ci\u003Efinally\u003C\/i\u003E, on day 3 of my mini-staycation, starting to relax.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EThis morning was the first morning in I don't know how long where I didn't wake up at 6 am. My internal clock is tuned to that annoyingly early time since that's when I usually have to get up for work.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI slept soundly until 8, then made coffee and read in bed for an hour. After that I fed the horses, played with the dogs, and then roasted a chicken for lunch. We butchered a bunch of our chickens this week, cleaned and froze them, and today we had our first taste. It's a lot of work, but worth it - it was delicious!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe also talked to both of our mothers today, and then I went for a long walk with Lily.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-qgRo4ZTjeHQ\/X20bzriEZpI\/AAAAAAAA2-k\/80HeX6qkH8cyiTZ5lX3pNmORnA1URR_AACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Fall%2Bcabin.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-qgRo4ZTjeHQ\/X20bzriEZpI\/AAAAAAAA2-k\/80HeX6qkH8cyiTZ5lX3pNmORnA1URR_AACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Fall%2Bcabin.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EToday is how I always picture my perfect day off: a beautiful mix of leisure and productivity, of talking to and spending time with loved ones, of enjoying our home and surroundings, of treating my body and mind well by cooking good food and giving them fresh air, exercise, and the close proximity to animals, who are the best friends and medicine I know.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe reality has been different.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI haven't had more than 4 consecutive days off since \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2019\/05\/from-russia-with-love.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eour vacation\u0026nbsp;in May of last year\u003C\/a\u003E. Crazy, right? And entirely my own fault. It's completely up to me to work as much or as little as I want, and somehow I always choose to work a lot.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI know why: because of fear, pride - and because it's easier.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003ELet's dig a little deeper into each of these reasons, shall we?\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EFirst one: Fear.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EAhh, fear. She's an old acquaintance of mine. You may know her pretty well, too. For someone who strives to be an optimist, I secretly always fear the worst. Unemployment, financial ruin, illness, death, the collapse of society as we know it - they are always at the back of my mind. So I try to prepare as best as I can by working lots, making as much money as possible, and burying all the nuts I can, squirrel-style, until the arrival of the inevitable catastrophe that's surely waiting around the corner.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's a stressful way to live. Especially since nothing bad has ever happened to me. Some ups and downs, sure, but nothing really bad. Fear is a poor leader, yet I still let her be in charge of my life decisions. It's time to kick her out of the driver's seat.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-96Dhg1DB4DI\/X20q7tfC7PI\/AAAAAAAA2-s\/Ao9w5hBHa7cP3APEEPkP75XpXszV9HLUQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Mama%2Bto%2Bbe.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"811\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-96Dhg1DB4DI\/X20q7tfC7PI\/AAAAAAAA2-s\/Ao9w5hBHa7cP3APEEPkP75XpXszV9HLUQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Mama%2Bto%2Bbe.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003ESecond one: Pride\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EI always assumed that I would play second fiddle to my husband's income. That he would bring home the \"real\" money, while I would bring in substantially less. I didn't even start seriously thinking of what kind of income I would like to make until I was in my mid-to late-twenties. Stupid, right!? But I grew up comfortably middle-class, with parents and later a husband who always supported me, so you can afford to be stupid with money. I also took not-so-secret pride in the fact that I \"didn't care about money\", which is, of course, BS.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EThat all changed when we were struggling for many years after the divorce, having our phone and gas turned off a couple of times for not paying the bill, and having to play the terrifying \"which bill to pay, which one not?\" game, plus the credit-card-overdraw roulette, for way too many years.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EWe were able to pay off all our debt \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2016\/10\/last-minute-drama.html#top\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ewith the sale of our old home\u003C\/a\u003E 4 years ago. For the first time in our relationship, we've been debt-free. It's a gift neither of us takes for granted. Struggling for money is \u003Ci\u003Eawful\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EAlso for the first time in our relationship, I am the one who brings home the bacon. Rich officially retired shortly after our move and his Lyme-disease diagnosis, and is now getting a pension.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EI always knew that would happen due to our age gap, and even though it happened somewhat sooner than either of us expected, I took to it easier than I thought I would.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EI'm taking great pride in my profession, my job and my work ethic. Maybe a little too much pride.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EIt's interfering with the work-life balance we have both been yearning for. I've been compromising my work-to-live motto by turning it upside down, and working more than living. I've missed family visits, births of our baby animals, friends dropping in, and simple, magical mornings like the one we had today.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EI know that's it's inevitable to miss some of those things when you're working, but I'm working all the time,\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003Eand it's been taking a toll. Every time I've picked up the phone this week, the person on the other end was surprised to hear my voice. \"What, you're not working? You always are!\" Does it make me feel proud? Yes and no. I have a deep-seated fear of being seen as lazy (which was the BIGGEST sin in our family), so on that account I feel accomplished. But at the same time, I know that \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2014\/08\/choices-and-regrets.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EI'm wasting precious time with my husband\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI was more sick this past year than I've ever been, which is most likely due to my body telling me to slow the f* down. My passions have taken a backseat, and we don't nearly spend as much time together as we could. It's time to change that.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-U0qVSs-0BMk\/X20vaMRM9hI\/AAAAAAAA2-0\/G-PIeTSjZBUFh8W2M3VFYI532AlKiSh6ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Golden%2BSeptember.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"608\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-U0qVSs-0BMk\/X20vaMRM9hI\/AAAAAAAA2-0\/G-PIeTSjZBUFh8W2M3VFYI532AlKiSh6ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Golden%2BSeptember.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003ELast (and most compelling) reason: It's easier.\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EYour house is a mess? You can blame it on working all the time.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EYou haven't worked out in an age? You can blame it on working all the time.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EYou haven't written anything in way too long?\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003EYou can blame it on working all the time.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou feel creatively stunted? You can blame it on working all the time.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou see where I'm going with this?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EAs much as it seems like the person who works is doing all the hard work, that's not exactly the case.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EBy choosing to be away from home so much, you leave the person who's left there to deal with all the shit that comes up:\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EDealing with neighbours\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EDealing with new babies (and the possible complications)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EDealing with castrations, neuterings, sterilizations (which are part of our life, and which I, cowardly, try to avoid)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EDealing with annoying shit like fixing water pipe leaks\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EDealing with Jehovah's Witnesses\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EDealing with switching cell phone providers\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-qd-U28NzcRs\/X21StufeJgI\/AAAAAAAA2-8\/vqsfCvQ6CrUDB5Sw6ep3SVCE8uN5zpyUwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Horses%2Bplaying.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-qd-U28NzcRs\/X21StufeJgI\/AAAAAAAA2-8\/vqsfCvQ6CrUDB5Sw6ep3SVCE8uN5zpyUwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Horses%2Bplaying.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EThat shit is annoying. Nobody likes to deal with it. Usually it's left to the stay-at-home-moms, but I lucked out to leave it to my stay-at-home-retiree!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003ETo make sure that my status of someone who doesn't have to deal with this stuff is firmly cemented, I made sure I worked all the time. I had social \u003Ci\u003Eand\u003C\/i\u003E spousal approval, what else could I ask for?\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI simply had no time for anything else. I made x amount of dollars every year, so I clearly didn't have time to pursue my writing.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003ENobody can fault you for it. \"You are the main bread winner.\" \"You are doing so well!\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"You're choosing the responsible path.\" \"You finally grew up and realized that having your head in the clouds doesn't pay the bills.\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"You can always write as a hobby.\" And what they don't say: If you don't write, nobody cares. Your writing doesn't matter. Your earning potential does.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EBy working the socially accepted job with the set wage, you get social validation.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EYour parents are proud of you.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou are known as a good, reliable employee.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou've fulfilled your responsibility as a mature, caring citizen of your country by \u003Ci\u003Epaying back a hundredfold\u003C\/i\u003E what they have given you by working around the clock to pay off your student loans, pay your taxes, and prove yourself as a serious, I'm-all-about-work-adult.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-XKVe-X5no8Y\/X21X_8PXt2I\/AAAAAAAA2_E\/IN4AXfItipwyAPUfb6SbxCXhafE5uxwHgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Rainy%2Bday%2Bnaps.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-XKVe-X5no8Y\/X21X_8PXt2I\/AAAAAAAA2_E\/IN4AXfItipwyAPUfb6SbxCXhafE5uxwHgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Rainy%2Bday%2Bnaps.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EA few years ago, I was on my way to challenge all that. I wrote \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2019\/06\/why-you-need-mission-statement-for-your.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Emy personal mission statement,\u003C\/a\u003E and I was determined to live by it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EWhat happened, you may ask?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003EI chickened out.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E Trying to write my next book was so much harder than accepting the next shift.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003ETrying to write an inspirational blog post seemed like an indulgence we shouldn't have time for in the times of Covid-19.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI couldn't find a way to make my own, small ambitions work next to the overwhelming global crisis, so I just abandoned them.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI tried to bury myself in work.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EObviously\u003C\/i\u003E, it didn't work.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EBy having had a few days off in a row to let my thoughts and emotions flow, I now realize anew: If there is a choice, I \u003Ci\u003Ewill \u003C\/i\u003Echoose pursuing my shaky, financially disastrous goals of writing more books.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt doesn't make financial sense.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut I need it in order to feel complete.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd there is something else, extremely important I finally realized: Despite my eternal fear of not finding work, I have \u003Ci\u003Ealways\u003C\/i\u003E worked, with no gaps.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI have worked, in multiple jobs, since I was 12.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI worked when I had no training.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI worked when I had no education.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI worked when I was in a foreign country.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI worked when I had no papers.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI worked when I had no \"permanent\" job.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI have, for the last 28 years, been able to find work whenever I wanted to. And I always wanted to, so I've always been working.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI should start to trust that.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut it's \u003Ci\u003Eso\u003C\/i\u003E much easier to work and get the set amount of money you know you'll get.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's insanely scary to work on something that will, best case scenario, amount to way less money than your day job, and worst case scenario, will amount to nothing.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-_pizdN0qoQ8\/X21dh4RZqxI\/AAAAAAAA2_M\/MSqQxNWQsuYHvPqSbL0us4k4ItHiswh9ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Bluey.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-_pizdN0qoQ8\/X21dh4RZqxI\/AAAAAAAA2_M\/MSqQxNWQsuYHvPqSbL0us4k4ItHiswh9ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Bluey.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EThat's where I find myself tonight. I have to make a choice.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EThere's only one way to live the life I've always wanted.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI have to make the choice that countless other creatives have made before me. Cut down on the time I spend on my day job in order to work on my writing.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI thought I could trick the system by doing my writing in my \"free time\".\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI didn't account for my dwindling energy reserves, the time ordinary life takes up, and the amount of time I need to recover from my normal job.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003ENone of us can have it all.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EWe all have to make choices.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EAnd one thing I know for sure is this: I want to be remembered for more than having been a \"good employee\". It's time to make some changes.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/8452575101826009490\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/09\/trying-to-recapture-my-balance.html#comment-form","title":"8 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/8452575101826009490"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/8452575101826009490"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/09\/trying-to-recapture-my-balance.html","title":"Trying to recapture my balance"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-bnzagaI0wWU\/X2qLHQq2biI\/AAAAAAAA2-U\/osJfQuNIEc8ALi0sR3DgX1U4tiLHQCp5QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Wild%2Band%2Bfree%2BPicmonkeyd.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"8"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-3407426107779620179"},"published":{"$t":"2020-09-07T19:24:00.003-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-09-08T10:46:27.924-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"health"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"I can't see you now?"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-QrWbEeAqNvo\/X1bKYmqPouI\/AAAAAAAA25g\/6oiW5TEHCiMqbYrmNUPZzq68Bx5FoOmHgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s780\/New%2Bglasses%2Bfrom%2Bthe%2Bfront.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"592\" data-original-width=\"780\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-QrWbEeAqNvo\/X1bKYmqPouI\/AAAAAAAA25g\/6oiW5TEHCiMqbYrmNUPZzq68Bx5FoOmHgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/New%2Bglasses%2Bfrom%2Bthe%2Bfront.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003EI found out that I needed glasses when I was 10 years old. It was done in the typical no-nonsense, insensitive German way I do not like. \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cspan id=\"docs-internal-guid-a130279a-7fff-2e9e-f6c8-8e7df46c4230\"\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"font-style: italic; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003EWe had an eye test at school, the first one I'd ever been exposed to, and I, a shy, tongue-tied child, was struggling to say correctly all the letters I was supposed to be seeing. \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"font-style: italic; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E\"Try harder, girl,\" the lady who was conducting the eye-test told me impatiently. Her tone of voice did nothing to help me see any better. I had been close to tears before, but now the dam burst. I cried \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003Ehard.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"font-style: italic; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"font-style: italic; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003EAt that age, I wanted nothing more than to please my superiors, and so far I had been fairly successful. I did all my homework, got good grades, and practiced my piano lessons until exhaustion. \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"font-style: italic; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003EBut this time, I couldn't prepare for a test. It came to me out of nowhere, I was bombing it, and there was nothing I could do. My eyesight was failing, and I was mortified. \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"font-style: italic; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003EWas that the moment I decided to move to Canada one day?\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"font-style: italic; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003EMaybe not. But it certainly came up again in \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2015\/01\/how-i-met-your-father-fifth-and-final.html#.VmjzOPmrSUk\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Emy list of pros and cons\u003C\/a\u003E 12 years later when I was faced with the decision whether to move to Canada or not. \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"font-style: italic; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E(Let's be real: there never was any question. But that incident certainly helped in the pro-department.)\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; text-align: center; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-pcsrqVdBlHk\/X1bONW0ECjI\/AAAAAAAA25o\/30TIrcFM2b0JY3APEw0sqDrq1D0A7lD3wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1006\/14-year%2Bold%2BMiri.png\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"950\" data-original-width=\"1006\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-pcsrqVdBlHk\/X1bONW0ECjI\/AAAAAAAA25o\/30TIrcFM2b0JY3APEw0sqDrq1D0A7lD3wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/14-year%2Bold%2BMiri.png\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EBaby Miriam at 14, posing for her confirmation pictures\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003EThat's how I found out that I needed glasses. It wasn't the way I would have chosen to find out, but we have to play the hand we are dealt, right?\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003EMy dad wore glasses, so at least I wasn't the only one in the family who wore them. \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003EAs mortifying as that first introduction to \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.londonvisionclinic.com\/the-importance-of-regular-eye-tests\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eregular eye tests\u003C\/a\u003E may have been, it was a habit I quickly learnt to embrace. Once I knew I had less than 20\/20 vision, I was diligent about checking my eyes every 2 years. After all, my eyes were - and are - one of the most important organs I have. I can't imagine a life without reading, and I also really enjoy looking at all the beauty around me: sunrises, the dogs' adorable faces, Bluey's cute sleeping position, nature's abundant beauty,  Netflix, and not to forget, my job - without my eyesight, I wouldn't be able to be \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2018\/10\/x-ray-girl.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ean x-ray technologist\u003C\/a\u003E anymore, and no matter how much I may complain about it some days, I truly love my job.   \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; font-style: italic; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-o9gnRLWkOFA\/X1bXEXLUbrI\/AAAAAAAA25w\/jFQ-DFVs7Kkp15TEIlvpZrwafZHebed8wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Bluey.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-o9gnRLWkOFA\/X1bXEXLUbrI\/AAAAAAAA25w\/jFQ-DFVs7Kkp15TEIlvpZrwafZHebed8wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Bluey.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003ESo happy I have my eyesight to see Bluey's cute sleeping positions\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;\"\u003EAfter initially not being thrilled with having to wear glasses (30 years ago some kids called me the German equivalent to \"four-eyes\", which is glasses-snake), I've since learnt to embrace it. It helps that glasses have become trendy! And more importantly, they make you see! It's a win\/win. What's also a win is how affordable glasses have become. Anybody who knows me knows that I love a good deal, and\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.eyeglasses.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Echeaper\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;eyeglasses are no exception. Being stylish on a budget? Sign me up!\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-fvYttrmK6Q4\/X1bdB__AxgI\/AAAAAAAA254\/k78GQWIxpk8_nFSAcOZzr0PZSLi1nc_BwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1843\/The%2BGerman%2Bglare.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1843\" data-original-width=\"1843\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-fvYttrmK6Q4\/X1bdB__AxgI\/AAAAAAAA254\/k78GQWIxpk8_nFSAcOZzr0PZSLi1nc_BwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/The%2BGerman%2Bglare.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EThrowback to how the first eye-lady looked at me. Joke's on her though, I like that look.\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003EI've been pretty lucky with my health so far. Apart from my eyesight, and some \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2018\/10\/when-breathing-becomes-work.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EDarth Vader breathing\u003C\/a\u003E I'm peachy! At 40 years old, and working in health care, I do \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003Enot\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E take that fact for granted anymore. It's a \u003Cb\u003Ehuge\u003C\/b\u003E privilege, and one I'm grateful for every day.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003EMy husband, who's been battling \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/p\/lyme-disease.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ELyme disease\u003C\/a\u003E for the past 3 years, and who is also 66 years of age, is doing remarkably well. He has the mindset and attitude of a much younger man, and he's my equal in every way. (Except for the fact that I'm a \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003Emuch\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E better cook.)\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"font-style: italic; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"font-style: italic; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-qxwWPIw4z2w\/X1bfDGjI5sI\/AAAAAAAA26A\/I7523t6M1iAkfXWW9YNDVFijLg7gmXCTQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Rich%2Band%2BJustin.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-qxwWPIw4z2w\/X1bfDGjI5sI\/AAAAAAAA26A\/I7523t6M1iAkfXWW9YNDVFijLg7gmXCTQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Rich%2Band%2BJustin.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"font-style: italic; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003EBut his \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2019\/03\/lyme-disease-update.html\" style=\"font-family: arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; white-space: pre-wrap;\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eoverall health\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E is obviously an important reminder that health is precious, and can be fickle. \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"font-style: italic; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003EWe love our red meats and fries, but mostly we focus on a diet that's filled with loads \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003Eof \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.medicalnewstoday.com\/articles\/321226\" style=\"text-align: left; text-decoration-line: none;\" target=\"_blank\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; text-decoration-line: underline; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003Evitamins A, C and E, and with lots of zinc\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E, to keep both of us healthy. \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"font-style: italic; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003EI've definitely noticed a shift in my body and health since I turned 40. My precious nearsightedness is threatening to abandon me. \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003EAfter 30 years of seeing \u003Ci\u003Eeverything\u003C\/i\u003E thanks to contacts and glasses, will I once again have to get used to another restriction on my eyesight? \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003EWill I end up using reading glasses to eat my food, like my husband does? \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003ETime will tell, and I'm \u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003Eafraid\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E it will tell us that story too soon. I'm not even done making fun of him for that yet, so how can I join him?\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003ELet's all hope it's not time for that, just yet. \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003EI have a few more jokes I want to use on him first. \u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/3407426107779620179\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/09\/i-cant-see-you-now.html#comment-form","title":"4 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3407426107779620179"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3407426107779620179"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/09\/i-cant-see-you-now.html","title":"I can't see you now?"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-QrWbEeAqNvo\/X1bKYmqPouI\/AAAAAAAA25g\/6oiW5TEHCiMqbYrmNUPZzq68Bx5FoOmHgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/New%2Bglasses%2Bfrom%2Bthe%2Bfront.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"4"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-5222739751879343102"},"published":{"$t":"2020-09-05T10:18:00.000-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-09-05T10:18:04.804-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"2020"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"farmlife"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"summer"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"video"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"The summer of 2020"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-KzGBVPAlf7M\/X1PG9cXOpPI\/AAAAAAAA25Q\/s2-SUMyeCUoYQ4RDyr5l7MRprQp7KnvoACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Lake%2Bpaddle%2Bboards.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-KzGBVPAlf7M\/X1PG9cXOpPI\/AAAAAAAA25Q\/s2-SUMyeCUoYQ4RDyr5l7MRprQp7KnvoACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Lake%2Bpaddle%2Bboards.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EWith labour day signalling the end of summer, I sat down yesterday and made a little video of the summer of 2020. Like most people, we didn't go anywhere and didn't see too many people outside our bubble, but we had a great summer!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003ELiving on a farm to us is the best thing in the world. Our animals are our family.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI hope you found plenty of joy during your summer as well! Next to the darkness, there is a lot of light and beauty in this world.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" class=\"BLOG_video_class\" height=\"266\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/qJuOk5KFSLw\" width=\"320\" youtube-src-id=\"qJuOk5KFSLw\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/5222739751879343102\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/09\/the-summer-of-2020.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/5222739751879343102"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/5222739751879343102"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/09\/the-summer-of-2020.html","title":"The summer of 2020"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-KzGBVPAlf7M\/X1PG9cXOpPI\/AAAAAAAA25Q\/s2-SUMyeCUoYQ4RDyr5l7MRprQp7KnvoACLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Lake%2Bpaddle%2Bboards.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-121249096965403151"},"published":{"$t":"2020-08-30T13:17:00.006-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-10-22T18:27:39.664-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"collaboration"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"love"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"marriage"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"style"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"You are my moon and my stars"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-L_n9WyJqSeM\/X0vEI122mwI\/AAAAAAAA22A\/0S-BeBwyKc4jbc1XdNiyjiohvugSbzm6wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2003\/Moon%2Band%2Bstar%2Bnecklace.png\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"2003\" data-original-width=\"1980\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-L_n9WyJqSeM\/X0vEI122mwI\/AAAAAAAA22A\/0S-BeBwyKc4jbc1XdNiyjiohvugSbzm6wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Moon%2Band%2Bstar%2Bnecklace.png\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThis month marks 18 years since Rich and I met each other. 18 years! It's crazy.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI always get sentimental this time of year, because that August in 2002 changed my entire life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo when\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.onecklace.ca\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EoNecklace\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;contacted me for\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2019\/03\/when-your-brain-threatens-your-marriage.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eanother collaboration\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;I knew right away that I wanted to find a piece of jewelry that would celebrate our relationship.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAt first I was thinking of something with either his name or our initials on it. oNecklace has a lot of awesome\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.onecklace.ca\/engraved-necklaces\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eengraved necklaces\u003C\/a\u003E, and I almost chose\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.onecklace.ca\/personalized-date-necklace\/?material=gold_plated\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ethis simple disk necklace\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;with his initial on it. We don't know the exact date we met, so we arbitrarily chose August 15, which is close enough. You know how it is on vacation, it's easy to lose track of time, and we were busy falling in love ❤\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut when I saw this pretty and delicate\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.onecklace.ca\/moon-and-star-necklace\/?material=gold_plated\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Emoon and star necklace\u003C\/a\u003E, I knew that it was an even better fit.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-YLVuFxJNt8I\/X0vjs4wGhDI\/AAAAAAAA22Q\/2JcaVqo5ryoW_WKbgjR1YQC7IUP5DWVUgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s643\/Screenshot%2B2020-08-30%2Bat%2B10.06.01%2BAM%2B%25281%2529.png\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"630\" data-original-width=\"643\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-YLVuFxJNt8I\/X0vjs4wGhDI\/AAAAAAAA22Q\/2JcaVqo5ryoW_WKbgjR1YQC7IUP5DWVUgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Screenshot%2B2020-08-30%2Bat%2B10.06.01%2BAM%2B%25281%2529.png\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EWe had our first night together in a field under the stars. I love looking up at the stars at night, because they are so much brighter here than they were in our old home.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EOn top of that, as a healthcare worker I like any moon that's not full, because it means that most of the crazies are staying home until the next full moon.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-E0SOnWOuT6Y\/X0wDCMyjddI\/AAAAAAAA22Y\/r7bztzVJuPwsoHrJffGbj5G4weX6aG0bwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Moon%2B1.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"960\" data-original-width=\"720\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-E0SOnWOuT6Y\/X0wDCMyjddI\/AAAAAAAA22Y\/r7bztzVJuPwsoHrJffGbj5G4weX6aG0bwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Moon%2B1.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EOne of the many things we figured our over the years to make our relationship successful was for me to stop expecting gifts from him for every birthday, anniversary, and Christmas. Rich only gives a gift when he sees something that he thinks I'll love. He can't do it on command, and the few times I gilt-tripped him into it the gifts were quite sad.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut he's also given me some amazing things over the years: a surprise box of tulips he secretly grew in the basement; an inside dog (Lily); my first laptop, despite me telling him before that I didn't need one because we had a desktop computer (I was SO wrong); a field of sunflowers; my first Dyson.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-h8O22mGduPo\/X0wEtXpwWzI\/AAAAAAAA22g\/k4GCzMvclf0PGU8yeMPfp5rxZmabezpuQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s848\/Moon%2B2%2B%25281%2529.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"848\" data-original-width=\"720\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-h8O22mGduPo\/X0wEtXpwWzI\/AAAAAAAA22g\/k4GCzMvclf0PGU8yeMPfp5rxZmabezpuQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Moon%2B2%2B%25281%2529.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EBut when it comes to jewelry, I mostly buy it myself and we are both happy. The great thing about living your own life and making your own money is that you can make your own rules; so do what makes you happy, and not what society tells you to do.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EI'm in love with my new dainty piece of jewelry! Thank you\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.onecklace.ca\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EoNecklace\u003C\/a\u003E.\u003Cdiv\u003ETake a look at their\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.onecklace.ca\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ewebsite\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;for hundreds of different necklaces, bracelets, rings and earrings.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cb\u003EI even have a discount for you: \u003Cspan style=\"font-size: medium;\"\u003EMiriam15\u003C\/span\u003E.\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EHappy shopping and happy Sunday!\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/121249096965403151\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/08\/you-are-my-moon-and-my-stars.html#comment-form","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/121249096965403151"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/121249096965403151"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/08\/you-are-my-moon-and-my-stars.html","title":"You are my moon and my stars"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-L_n9WyJqSeM\/X0vEI122mwI\/AAAAAAAA22A\/0S-BeBwyKc4jbc1XdNiyjiohvugSbzm6wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Moon%2Band%2Bstar%2Bnecklace.png","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-7837425134471756330"},"published":{"$t":"2020-08-28T06:00:00.007-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-08-29T10:16:10.085-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"dogs"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Big Bear and Little Bear"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; font-style: italic; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-_ST62x56nD4\/X0hZQizEEwI\/AAAAAAAA2zU\/-c6jltPApjQDyp674gA3En4vwsvGOEptQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s904\/Petey%2B1%2Byear%2Bold%2Bedited.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"904\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-_ST62x56nD4\/X0hZQizEEwI\/AAAAAAAA2zU\/-c6jltPApjQDyp674gA3En4vwsvGOEptQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Petey%2B1%2Byear%2Bold%2Bedited.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EToday is our youngest - and biggest - baby's first birthday.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EHappy Birthday, Petey! 🎉🎉\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAs with many of our dogs, he wasn't exactly planned, at least not on my part. But I did get an inkling that a new member to our family was on his way when I received this picture last September:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-nPvQBHTW5Sw\/X0hhgRhmshI\/AAAAAAAA204\/9SQ8nhO-_6smSMZ5_9X5yKEYcRpEiimfQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s768\/Rich%2Band%2BLarissa%2Bwith%2Bpuppies.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"768\" data-original-width=\"768\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-nPvQBHTW5Sw\/X0hhgRhmshI\/AAAAAAAA204\/9SQ8nhO-_6smSMZ5_9X5yKEYcRpEiimfQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Rich%2Band%2BLarissa%2Bwith%2Bpuppies.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EPetey is in Rich's arms at 4 weeks old\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003EMy niece Larissa was here for an epic visit, and her and Rich went to Alberta to visit a friend for a couple of days. They sent me the above photo, and my first words were: \"You are NOT bringing another puppy home, right???!!!\" They assured me they weren't.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EAnd they weren't lying.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EYet.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EFour weeks later, after Larissa was back home in Germany and I falsely assumed that the issue of the puppy had been resolved, Rich needed to go see his friend again to \"trade some sheep\".\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EHe left with a few sheep in the back of his truck -\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u0026nbsp;- and returned with this.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-XpidHYe156U\/X0hivf5oQDI\/AAAAAAAA21A\/6Gm-fcd41HInQY3Rq4U3B-TFvXr19B0UwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s550\/Puppy%2B2.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"550\" data-original-width=\"528\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-XpidHYe156U\/X0hivf5oQDI\/AAAAAAAA21A\/6Gm-fcd41HInQY3Rq4U3B-TFvXr19B0UwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Puppy%2B2.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI wanted to be annoyed. We have a \u003Ci\u003Elot\u003C\/i\u003E of dogs, and did we really need another one?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOf course not.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut my weakness is big, fluffy dogs. I love them more than almost anything else in life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo I was mad at Rich for about 5 minutes, and then I fell hopelessly, completely in love with our new pup. We named him Petey after his old owner Pete, but what I called him just as much was this: Little Bear.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIf you've been a long-time reader of this blog you know\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2014\/03\/meet-bear.html\"\u003EBear\u003C\/a\u003E. He was the first thing I bought with my first cheque I received after I graduated from x-ray school and started to work as a real x-ray technologist.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-yodowZOS7Gk\/X0hmfdqvq6I\/AAAAAAAA21I\/Wi8DkTYQcI0aSUyRdv464rxJtCD49Ka5gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s720\/8%2Bweeks%2Bold.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"720\" data-original-width=\"608\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-yodowZOS7Gk\/X0hmfdqvq6I\/AAAAAAAA21I\/Wi8DkTYQcI0aSUyRdv464rxJtCD49Ka5gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/8%2Bweeks%2Bold.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI will never forget the moment when I walked into the cargo area of the Vancouver airport. I had graduated one week before, I was scheduled to play the organ for a funeral in two hours, and I had never been to this part of the airport before. I was sweating and nervous and cursing my poor judgement for scheduling too many things in one day.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut as soon as I stepped into the building, everything changed. The first thing I noticed was a loud, insistent howling. The next thing was that the people working there didn't look annoyed, but indulgent. Huh - that was weird.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI must have looked lost and confused, because seconds after I entered someone called out to me: \"Are you here to pick up the adorable puppy?\" Well, I guess I was.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI nodded dumbly, and the happy expressions increased. Honestly, I've never felt more appreciated in my life than I did during those few minutes I spent in the cargo portion of the Vancouver Airport. While I was signing the necessary documents, half a dozen people were fawning over the cage containing a very cute, but very loud puppy. I grabbed him as soon as I was done and hurried out, uncomfortable with all the attention.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-0Ctc1Xz_kW0\/X0hp26njbbI\/AAAAAAAA21Q\/UsFnBmrfcuc4a3tRlUe1QyJbp-yDHAP_wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s780\/Bear%2B780.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"520\" data-original-width=\"780\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-0Ctc1Xz_kW0\/X0hp26njbbI\/AAAAAAAA21Q\/UsFnBmrfcuc4a3tRlUe1QyJbp-yDHAP_wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Bear%2B780.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EIt turned out that Bear was uncomfortable with attention as well. Our first meeting was an anomaly.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cdiv\u003EFor the rest of his life he would stay in the shadows, always hanging back from the action.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EHe wasn't my first dog-love. I'm very lucky that I've already had quite a few great dog loves, and I know I will have a few more.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EBut Bear was special. He was standoffish in his affection. Much like a cat, he would only come to you when he felt like it. He was very affectionate, but only for a short time, and then he would retreat into his bubble. He was the most introverted dog I've ever known, and I saw myself in him a lot.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EHe would greet me every day as soon as I came out of the house, and every time I returned home.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EHe would nuzzle my hand for a moment, rub his head against my side, and then he'd retreat.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI loved that dog.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-f5OLv1aUcT8\/X0hqouyhPeI\/AAAAAAAA21Y\/o7vcfASugr0KCm-EhshTB5ffqM1pK_mfgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s780\/Bear%2Band%2BNina%2B780%2B%25282%2529.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"520\" data-original-width=\"780\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-f5OLv1aUcT8\/X0hqouyhPeI\/AAAAAAAA21Y\/o7vcfASugr0KCm-EhshTB5ffqM1pK_mfgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Bear%2Band%2BNina%2B780%2B%25282%2529.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-FQ5D9X5wrwc\/X0hsF1o2GqI\/AAAAAAAA21k\/oJZP0yQKDBwtj0CCzW-clAvPun3akzw5gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/PS%2B8.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"2048\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-FQ5D9X5wrwc\/X0hsF1o2GqI\/AAAAAAAA21k\/oJZP0yQKDBwtj0CCzW-clAvPun3akzw5gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/PS%2B8.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-eOgfTJAEDA8\/X0hsFi81_EI\/AAAAAAAA21g\/0ysRCiAqWDMFGOcpCj_L5EdSHT2ukr_bACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1761\/PS%2B9.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1761\" data-original-width=\"1761\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-eOgfTJAEDA8\/X0hsFi81_EI\/AAAAAAAA21g\/0ysRCiAqWDMFGOcpCj_L5EdSHT2ukr_bACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/PS%2B9.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHe wasn't healthy. When he was only 3 years old he developed arthritis in his hips. The wet winters in the Lower Mainland made it worse. For the next few winters he spent most of the the time lying down, and sometimes limped on 3 legs.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut then we moved to Merritt in December of 2016. At the same time as we arrived, winter did as well, and Bear reverted back to being a puppy. With every cold, dry, sunny day his spirits lifted, his joints recovered, and after just a few days he was walking around pain-free. After a couple of weeks he was running up the driveway like he hadn't done in years.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBear was in heaven.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd so was I. I loved seeing him so happy.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-wMeK7yOYl_E\/X0huXKceM8I\/AAAAAAAA21s\/MpQJz2c8k-kq9Pf7r-f3lu9oGBqalppqwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Bear%252C%2Bchill.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1365\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-wMeK7yOYl_E\/X0huXKceM8I\/AAAAAAAA21s\/MpQJz2c8k-kq9Pf7r-f3lu9oGBqalppqwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Bear%252C%2Bchill.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EThe last 3-and-a-half years he's had the best time of his life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EBear loved every season here. In the winter his body would create icy dips all over the place, where his body heat had melted the snow and shaped itself into Bear-shaped moulds.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EIn the summer he stayed in the shade, being protected by his heat-insulating coat, coming out to play with his younger siblings at dusk.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-qqwo4SKAwrc\/X0hxA1dJb7I\/AAAAAAAA210\/3TTgRQsEFCEdpnCDe_tPOL1KwTOFg6NbQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Bear.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1523\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-qqwo4SKAwrc\/X0hxA1dJb7I\/AAAAAAAA210\/3TTgRQsEFCEdpnCDe_tPOL1KwTOFg6NbQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Bear.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EOn May 26, Bear passed away.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EHe was 10 years old, and he lived a lot longer than either of us expected.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EBut it was devastating for me.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI was going through such a rough time mentally that I couldn't share it with anyone. We buried him at home, his grave still unmarked, but we know where his grave is and pay him a silent tribute every day.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EIt took me weeks to tell our closest loved ones. I've never talked about it publicly until today.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EHe was such a private guy, and I simply couldn't talk about it sooner.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EAnd then there was Little Bear.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EYou know how it is with little kids - they won't let you wallow in your grief. They demand your attention every day, they make you laugh despite your will, they yank you right back into the messiness of living.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EThat's what Little Bear did for me. I call him Petey half the time - but the other half he reminds me so much of Bear, that I call him Bear.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-GtlGY9aIRTc\/X0hcgj8q5iI\/AAAAAAAA2zg\/9XulGrGX7yYnBPB3OUIB5fnssI9p8I2nwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Gentle%2Bgiants.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-GtlGY9aIRTc\/X0hcgj8q5iI\/AAAAAAAA2zg\/9XulGrGX7yYnBPB3OUIB5fnssI9p8I2nwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Gentle%2Bgiants.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHe saved me after Bear's death.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhile I was grieving my beautiful, unique, shy big boy's death, there was this equally beautiful, but so much easier boy who was happy all day, every day.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm thankful every single day that my incorrigible husband brought this big, fluffy, unnecessary puppy into our lives back in October.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHe knew, just as I did, that Bear's days were numbered.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI was in denial.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHe wasn't.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C!--more--\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-msU0PPrAeKU\/X0hc6OVJKwI\/AAAAAAAA2zs\/rovjgd4U42QUi8v_caGef6ra9NwFoCrtACLcBGAsYHQ\/s917\/Petey%2Bowning%2Bthe%2Bhouse.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"917\" data-original-width=\"917\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-msU0PPrAeKU\/X0hc6OVJKwI\/AAAAAAAA2zs\/rovjgd4U42QUi8v_caGef6ra9NwFoCrtACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Petey%2Bowning%2Bthe%2Bhouse.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-i6RNhjlhCU4\/X0hc6BeZMuI\/AAAAAAAA2z0\/TJZDDRF0ir0UOkOBJ2-SnUWzm0592xFSQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Big%2Bdogs%2Bon%2Bthe%2Bbed.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-i6RNhjlhCU4\/X0hc6BeZMuI\/AAAAAAAA2z0\/TJZDDRF0ir0UOkOBJ2-SnUWzm0592xFSQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Big%2Bdogs%2Bon%2Bthe%2Bbed.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-_Yt1QV7phbI\/X0hc6KyYneI\/AAAAAAAA2zw\/acQzC9BuC5I3TdIq80TWmAThFFX78fXcACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Bear-mama.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1027\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-_Yt1QV7phbI\/X0hc6KyYneI\/AAAAAAAA2zw\/acQzC9BuC5I3TdIq80TWmAThFFX78fXcACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Bear-mama.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhen Bear died I was ready for a drawn-out pity party. It was in the midst of the Covid-lock-down, one of my best dog friend's had died, I was feeling all-around shitty, and life sucked, so what better moment to wallow in pity?\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EEnter Petey. As much as I tried to bury myself in my covers and howl in agony over Bear's death, this huge, gorgeous boy would smother me in slobbery dog kisses. I don't know about you, but I find them irresistible.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EAlso, I would catch myself way too many times confusing him with Bear for a second when I laid eyes on him. It was almost as if Bear was still with me - in a more energetic, less standoffish way.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EThis next bit may be inappropriate for you, but it occurred to me and helped me, so just look away if you're sensitive.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe kids and I watched the movie\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0486551\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBeerfest\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;a lot over the years. We've travelled to Germany for years, experiencing several versions of what you see in the movie. (Germans may be serious and task-oriented 51 weeks of the year, but during beerfest they LET LOOSE.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EIf you've watched the movie, you know of the character named Landfill. He dies an improbable death halfway through the movie, only to be replaced by a guy who is exactly like him, only better.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EWell - that inappropriate thought helped me. Petey looks like Bear, but in many ways he's nicer. And during the last few months, as I was facing my old demons in therapy, and trying to become the best version of myself, having Petey by my side gave me an immeasurable amount of joy. He will never replace Bear, but having him in our family has helped me with Bear's death more than anything else ever could have.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm so happy that he's part of our family.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EHappy Birthday sweet boy!\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-R3O4Y06Atdc\/X0hdiEN4p-I\/AAAAAAAA20I\/EgzXyoRcv5EcpS4BP0KPXgN0Q0pOvZKrgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Our%2B3%2Bbig%2Bbears.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"969\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-R3O4Y06Atdc\/X0hdiEN4p-I\/AAAAAAAA20I\/EgzXyoRcv5EcpS4BP0KPXgN0Q0pOvZKrgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Our%2B3%2Bbig%2Bbears.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lovx6QvLNP8\/X0heW46NS3I\/AAAAAAAA20Q\/PurQcsmGhfM5U2j7f4P8z-7sNXP5vxwLQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s699\/Pups%2Bplaying.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"402\" data-original-width=\"699\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lovx6QvLNP8\/X0heW46NS3I\/AAAAAAAA20Q\/PurQcsmGhfM5U2j7f4P8z-7sNXP5vxwLQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Pups%2Bplaying.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-crXGx3ZJV-E\/X0hfvv-RXhI\/AAAAAAAA20g\/KkA0csY6q7g_x6oe1KqhXphAh_6iFCuhgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Baby%2BBear%2Bat%2B5.5%2Bmonths%2Bold.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-crXGx3ZJV-E\/X0hfvv-RXhI\/AAAAAAAA20g\/KkA0csY6q7g_x6oe1KqhXphAh_6iFCuhgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Baby%2BBear%2Bat%2B5.5%2Bmonths%2Bold.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1_YWlN3MDNM\/X0hfwZj93WI\/AAAAAAAA20o\/6BohcFGvtXopTcBtI-UF8LrZSy6WgMf5ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Dogs%2Bplaying.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1466\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1_YWlN3MDNM\/X0hfwZj93WI\/AAAAAAAA20o\/6BohcFGvtXopTcBtI-UF8LrZSy6WgMf5ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Dogs%2Bplaying.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1p7hbK2aV7E\/X0hfwKuKhTI\/AAAAAAAA20k\/pQ5htvdne5MZIP86wo2joy5NFqRLvTH4wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Happy%2Bbaby.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1365\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1p7hbK2aV7E\/X0hfwKuKhTI\/AAAAAAAA20k\/pQ5htvdne5MZIP86wo2joy5NFqRLvTH4wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s16000\/Happy%2Bbaby.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/7837425134471756330\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/08\/big-bear-and-little-bear.html#comment-form","title":"6 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/7837425134471756330"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/7837425134471756330"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/08\/big-bear-and-little-bear.html","title":"Big Bear and Little Bear"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-_ST62x56nD4\/X0hZQizEEwI\/AAAAAAAA2zU\/-c6jltPApjQDyp674gA3En4vwsvGOEptQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/Petey%2B1%2Byear%2Bold%2Bedited.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"6"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-3432456349115551736"},"published":{"$t":"2020-08-24T20:13:00.005-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-08-24T21:45:18.422-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"2020"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"farmlife"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"summer"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Some summer pics!"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-IFcykPQpzAQ\/X0RMDJnWUmI\/AAAAAAAA2tY\/Yej-bO_8NEYwZdtjTYUIES9fATeIni-IgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1399\/Hammock-Rich%2Bedited.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"785\" data-original-width=\"1399\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-IFcykPQpzAQ\/X0RMDJnWUmI\/AAAAAAAA2tY\/Yej-bO_8NEYwZdtjTYUIES9fATeIni-IgCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Hammock-Rich%2Bedited.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EToday is the third day in a row that feels (I don't even want to say it out loud, so I'll just whisper it: \u003Cspan style=\"font-size: small; font-style: italic;\"\u003Efall-ish\u003C\/span\u003E), so I finished watching \u003Ci\u003ELittle Fires Everywhere\u003C\/i\u003E on Amazon (just as good as the book, I highly recommend!), and now I've been sorting through my photos. Summer came late this year, it basically only arrived 2 months ago, but every hot day has been precious. It's not over yet, but we've definitely entered the stage of late summer: the nights are getting cooler, the days are getting shorter, and the light has changed. The stark yellow and blue of high summer have given way to a softer, warmer, golden glow. Many mornings are now overcast, the ground wet with dew, and I've started putting on a sweater with my morning coffee.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt doesn't matter - I love the changing of the seasons, even though it's bittersweet when the majority of summer has passed.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut it also leads to reflection, and today I'm gonna share a few photos with you of our summer so far!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-yaGPQSER2P8\/X0RN4vqIYVI\/AAAAAAAA2tk\/LbA234HM7xchq3s3Uf-f00KsO_VOol96ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Water%2Bsplash%2Bedited.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-yaGPQSER2P8\/X0RN4vqIYVI\/AAAAAAAA2tk\/LbA234HM7xchq3s3Uf-f00KsO_VOol96ACLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Water%2Bsplash%2Bedited.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003EBeating the heat wave with an old-fashioned sprinkler run.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-sbsylkAMdsc\/X0RSaOhVwSI\/AAAAAAAA2uU\/852awkoyo54SFmmfouWs9TFvsmzTpf8xwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Splashing%2Bin%2Bthe%2Bpool%2B1.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1598\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-sbsylkAMdsc\/X0RSaOhVwSI\/AAAAAAAA2uU\/852awkoyo54SFmmfouWs9TFvsmzTpf8xwCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Splashing%2Bin%2Bthe%2Bpool%2B1.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003EI had my pool for about 2 days before the ducks moved in. You won't swim in a pool after ducks have taken it over. If you know, you\u003Ci\u003E know\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-kdfCv5KVvhg\/X0RTRC_ox6I\/AAAAAAAA2uc\/A-ryUnTFpZ8jZzCuyXxwIijSnmyCRPlxACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Lake%2B2.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"960\" data-original-width=\"540\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-kdfCv5KVvhg\/X0RTRC_ox6I\/AAAAAAAA2uc\/A-ryUnTFpZ8jZzCuyXxwIijSnmyCRPlxACLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Lake%2B2.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-hmVhWCHdUzY\/X0ROVGlYcOI\/AAAAAAAA2t4\/NOPCO7n4D5oovNh9-DBWoCIIaS9IQR_QACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Lake%2Bpaddle%2Bboards.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-hmVhWCHdUzY\/X0ROVGlYcOI\/AAAAAAAA2t4\/NOPCO7n4D5oovNh9-DBWoCIIaS9IQR_QACLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Lake%2Bpaddle%2Bboards.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-P5TBo7049ls\/X0RTcF7eXAI\/AAAAAAAA2ug\/YXpyceHTglYzMLLZQfnEz-ZRsTJzVrJ-ACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Perfect%2Bday.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"960\" data-original-width=\"499\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-P5TBo7049ls\/X0RTcF7eXAI\/AAAAAAAA2ug\/YXpyceHTglYzMLLZQfnEz-ZRsTJzVrJ-ACLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Perfect%2Bday.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003ELuckily, we have plenty of lakes close by to cool off in.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-3ieFZaFcQ6I\/X0RUR1XbHdI\/AAAAAAAA2uw\/FHhhiWtanhMuP7EcvZkcoCMdppZDlGldgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1124\/Bedroom%2Bhot%2Bsummer%2Bmagic.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1124\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-3ieFZaFcQ6I\/X0RUR1XbHdI\/AAAAAAAA2uw\/FHhhiWtanhMuP7EcvZkcoCMdppZDlGldgCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Bedroom%2Bhot%2Bsummer%2Bmagic.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003EMy fan brings all the girls to the yard.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-QIP3CJZwvvs\/X0RURwRBpfI\/AAAAAAAA2us\/eje2ffx26NUmsZurrNg_2IOFOkmuMS1YgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Black%2Band%2Bwhite.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-QIP3CJZwvvs\/X0RURwRBpfI\/AAAAAAAA2us\/eje2ffx26NUmsZurrNg_2IOFOkmuMS1YgCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Black%2Band%2Bwhite.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003EThe horses love summer just as much as I do.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-i1BcUnBprBs\/X0RWC7zpbvI\/AAAAAAAA2u8\/QRmSgt6g2tAnmYZrBNghVybnE2jJiuUBQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Gardener%2BRich.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1381\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-i1BcUnBprBs\/X0RWC7zpbvI\/AAAAAAAA2u8\/QRmSgt6g2tAnmYZrBNghVybnE2jJiuUBQCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Gardener%2BRich.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003ERich loves to take care of everything alive: plants, animals, humans. One of the things I love most about him.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-SAI4B9d86z4\/X0SBTFdd8BI\/AAAAAAAA2yw\/5yzlyZo7j5ICKXK1zvJY1Rs7U5DDkmlkwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Sunflower.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-SAI4B9d86z4\/X0SBTFdd8BI\/AAAAAAAA2yw\/5yzlyZo7j5ICKXK1zvJY1Rs7U5DDkmlkwCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Sunflower.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-X9mB2IrPua8\/X0RXQiwOkxI\/AAAAAAAA2vE\/1xWcOJnleqc3Z9N-06CfhLlVrsWOp6diQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Sleeping%2Bdogs%2Band%2BShe%2BShed.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1393\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-X9mB2IrPua8\/X0RXQiwOkxI\/AAAAAAAA2vE\/1xWcOJnleqc3Z9N-06CfhLlVrsWOp6diQCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Sleeping%2Bdogs%2Band%2BShe%2BShed.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-uZi_d67YcDI\/X0RXxPNnicI\/AAAAAAAA2vM\/66yXTHSiNHwIVGYAmdsgc3SUVEAk_Q-qgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Chickens%2Band%2Bturkeys.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1363\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-uZi_d67YcDI\/X0RXxPNnicI\/AAAAAAAA2vM\/66yXTHSiNHwIVGYAmdsgc3SUVEAk_Q-qgCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Chickens%2Band%2Bturkeys.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-3WVoQ34vauc\/X0RYXm55HPI\/AAAAAAAA2vU\/NdPwsQzGSdwEcqOYpZUZbmHAD3kfgQsKACLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Mama%2Bduck%2Band%2Bbabies.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1451\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-3WVoQ34vauc\/X0RYXm55HPI\/AAAAAAAA2vU\/NdPwsQzGSdwEcqOYpZUZbmHAD3kfgQsKACLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Mama%2Bduck%2Band%2Bbabies.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003EThis incredible mama managed to hatch 24 babies. 24!! That's unheard of. They're still all alive 14 days later. She's our Mother of the Year.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ep3L2fqNqVg\/X0RY6Io1CII\/AAAAAAAA2vc\/2V6nTro1nLQLx4JI8FRXuybxVm6EqsGDgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s868\/Horses%2Bplaying%2Bat%2Bdusk%2B2%2Bedited.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"868\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ep3L2fqNqVg\/X0RY6Io1CII\/AAAAAAAA2vc\/2V6nTro1nLQLx4JI8FRXuybxVm6EqsGDgCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Horses%2Bplaying%2Bat%2Bdusk%2B2%2Bedited.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ZoHa1GOP8pg\/X0RZyUho63I\/AAAAAAAA2vk\/33mxXfLpRIM0i55Swa0jDRxqibgrCjYHgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Alphonso%2Band%2Bme.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1401\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ZoHa1GOP8pg\/X0RZyUho63I\/AAAAAAAA2vk\/33mxXfLpRIM0i55Swa0jDRxqibgrCjYHgCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Alphonso%2Band%2Bme.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-jxxCbqB404w\/X0RaoO5Uz1I\/AAAAAAAA2vs\/HIAKxgVOJccU4o7Sa0-3Qx7v2NgFi5CigCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/3%2Bhorses.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1265\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-jxxCbqB404w\/X0RaoO5Uz1I\/AAAAAAAA2vs\/HIAKxgVOJccU4o7Sa0-3Qx7v2NgFi5CigCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/3%2Bhorses.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lVMR0_fPTXc\/X0Ra-e2MTKI\/AAAAAAAA2v0\/x9HmfGlJ2QYtzOvlOr4SftBYBS3loeRNgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Lily%2Band%2Bme%2Bwarm%2Bsummer%2Bglowed.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lVMR0_fPTXc\/X0Ra-e2MTKI\/AAAAAAAA2v0\/x9HmfGlJ2QYtzOvlOr4SftBYBS3loeRNgCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Lily%2Band%2Bme%2Bwarm%2Bsummer%2Bglowed.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-KHLiq7rjQOM\/X0RbP8i4O7I\/AAAAAAAA2v8\/hkLGIBzPbv05cHU__-qQQRm40gKbzzPvgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Miri%2Band%2BLily.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"960\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-KHLiq7rjQOM\/X0RbP8i4O7I\/AAAAAAAA2v8\/hkLGIBzPbv05cHU__-qQQRm40gKbzzPvgCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Miri%2Band%2BLily.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-NbcEppwwcCQ\/X0RczhQwuDI\/AAAAAAAA2wg\/FPeOd8ssInANUMbMLwIiF666BhhHM4UywCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Hammock%2BMiri.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1299\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-NbcEppwwcCQ\/X0RczhQwuDI\/AAAAAAAA2wg\/FPeOd8ssInANUMbMLwIiF666BhhHM4UywCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Hammock%2BMiri.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-geuXHUePfV0\/X0RczTJNHkI\/AAAAAAAA2wc\/cF7KwsewJcMWMs0w-hIQEphq4tZ63dhugCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Happy%2Bhusband.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-geuXHUePfV0\/X0RczTJNHkI\/AAAAAAAA2wc\/cF7KwsewJcMWMs0w-hIQEphq4tZ63dhugCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Happy%2Bhusband.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003EWe've spent a lot of time on the porch this summer. My favourite place on earth.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-uvdlwmsH8IA\/X0SFgOJDxhI\/AAAAAAAA2y8\/c_-3NXaGfXQiQyRM8vHpNSBriPUmwNEIACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Quading%2Blove%2B2.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-uvdlwmsH8IA\/X0SFgOJDxhI\/AAAAAAAA2y8\/c_-3NXaGfXQiQyRM8vHpNSBriPUmwNEIACLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Quading%2Blove%2B2.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-KlL_ENcK6UQ\/X0SFgWJ04ZI\/AAAAAAAA2y4\/EPSg28GVTBgkhUcMZmesomRpJk7KzcNqwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1370\/Rocky%2Band%2BRich.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"793\" data-original-width=\"1370\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-KlL_ENcK6UQ\/X0SFgWJ04ZI\/AAAAAAAA2y4\/EPSg28GVTBgkhUcMZmesomRpJk7KzcNqwCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Rocky%2Band%2BRich.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-gCFLvM1vG0E\/X0Rbi2vO2kI\/AAAAAAAA2wE\/46Z3D6PUUBwtlbrGk4CEhCtBwJnG2_dZwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Bikini-girl%2Bin%2Ba%2Bhammock.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-gCFLvM1vG0E\/X0Rbi2vO2kI\/AAAAAAAA2wE\/46Z3D6PUUBwtlbrGk4CEhCtBwJnG2_dZwCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Bikini-girl%2Bin%2Ba%2Bhammock.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003ECelebrating my body for what it is, weight gain and all. I have boobs now, even lying down!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-iI3H1nS6Yg8\/X0RcCfUQ_rI\/AAAAAAAA2wM\/fn-wIy5LfbMR6tDBnOWN7ZoALancpqXzwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Golden%2Bmorning%2Broad.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-iI3H1nS6Yg8\/X0RcCfUQ_rI\/AAAAAAAA2wM\/fn-wIy5LfbMR6tDBnOWN7ZoALancpqXzwCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Golden%2Bmorning%2Broad.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003EThe drives to work are epic this time of year.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Ly7lPW61Ys0\/X0RcbD2hEII\/AAAAAAAA2wU\/3x_a6-HDVOgDTQDLhHCpXc-A9gQdazkoQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s829\/Mask%2Bcropped.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"829\" data-original-width=\"528\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Ly7lPW61Ys0\/X0RcbD2hEII\/AAAAAAAA2wU\/3x_a6-HDVOgDTQDLhHCpXc-A9gQdazkoQCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Mask%2Bcropped.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003ESo is the car decoration in 2020.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-5lxaTG7XQmg\/X0RdqRDZJqI\/AAAAAAAA2w0\/-Mim6xeYZ1ApmQcb7UtOx6ivE7f04rzkQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Spence%2527s%2BBridge%2BMarket%2Bstand.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-5lxaTG7XQmg\/X0RdqRDZJqI\/AAAAAAAA2w0\/-Mim6xeYZ1ApmQcb7UtOx6ivE7f04rzkQCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Spence%2527s%2BBridge%2BMarket%2Bstand.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003EI've bought tons of fruit and veggies from this cute little market stand\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-i6XhF2j63wI\/X0RdqX4690I\/AAAAAAAA2ww\/5SmNCaXICmgma4W6RX2wF_uav-8pmA-HQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Summer%2Bat%2Bthe%2Bfarm.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"679\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-i6XhF2j63wI\/X0RdqX4690I\/AAAAAAAA2ww\/5SmNCaXICmgma4W6RX2wF_uav-8pmA-HQCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Summer%2Bat%2Bthe%2Bfarm.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-awYoKXm9724\/X0RdrPmcv4I\/AAAAAAAA2w4\/Cbekf0H8wXoHbWVVfGsc8lehVVW3J-oOwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s774\/Teddy%2Bwaiting%2Bfor%2BRich.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"774\" data-original-width=\"528\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-awYoKXm9724\/X0RdrPmcv4I\/AAAAAAAA2w4\/Cbekf0H8wXoHbWVVfGsc8lehVVW3J-oOwCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Teddy%2Bwaiting%2Bfor%2BRich.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003EWaiting for daddy to be done with his chores\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ptza5JFtrGg\/X0R6FjdDCGI\/AAAAAAAA2xI\/x-1OMHBvzSIovEA7LF5t14l1au0xKu9BQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Hiking%2Bwith%2Bnurses.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ptza5JFtrGg\/X0R6FjdDCGI\/AAAAAAAA2xI\/x-1OMHBvzSIovEA7LF5t14l1au0xKu9BQCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Hiking%2Bwith%2Bnurses.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-wuJ0gT1nxQs\/X0R6qKfJmZI\/AAAAAAAA2xU\/9eRXRswnJ6oL3enkf1lE5EQ3somaKaRmwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Hiking%2Bwith%2Bnurses%2Bview.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-wuJ0gT1nxQs\/X0R6qKfJmZI\/AAAAAAAA2xU\/9eRXRswnJ6oL3enkf1lE5EQ3somaKaRmwCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Hiking%2Bwith%2Bnurses%2Bview.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-5_MqnrcFu0Q\/X0R6llF8LLI\/AAAAAAAA2xQ\/LR3YgAtVcR4J7SZBCex89CMZvzK8WlyzQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Dixie%2Bhiking%2Bwith%2Bnurses.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-5_MqnrcFu0Q\/X0R6llF8LLI\/AAAAAAAA2xQ\/LR3YgAtVcR4J7SZBCex89CMZvzK8WlyzQCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Dixie%2Bhiking%2Bwith%2Bnurses.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-NDZ1MNzO9kY\/X0R62lJ_U0I\/AAAAAAAA2xc\/Vd3my8ZnXc8xxPjEyCJSQdm1j0X_5BmZwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Waterfall%2Bhiking%2Bwith%2Bnurses.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-NDZ1MNzO9kY\/X0R62lJ_U0I\/AAAAAAAA2xc\/Vd3my8ZnXc8xxPjEyCJSQdm1j0X_5BmZwCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Waterfall%2Bhiking%2Bwith%2Bnurses.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003EHiking with some of my fave co-workers\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-bQeK9Phy4LA\/X0R7GGmb08I\/AAAAAAAA2xk\/uKR685S1m4cgbedRk1_MVoiM_ZPyiXO3gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1200\/Summer%2Boutfits%2Bcollage%2B.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"623\" data-original-width=\"1200\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-bQeK9Phy4LA\/X0R7GGmb08I\/AAAAAAAA2xk\/uKR685S1m4cgbedRk1_MVoiM_ZPyiXO3gCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Summer%2Boutfits%2Bcollage%2B.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003EI've been dressing up in my favourite dresses for no reason, and it's made normal days feel special!\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ORA01KpHTy4\/X0R7GD5focI\/AAAAAAAA2xo\/j1aB3vypA442Mcp54eITEm0FUMow3jr0gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Wild%2Band%2Bfree%2BPicmonkeyd.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ORA01KpHTy4\/X0R7GD5focI\/AAAAAAAA2xo\/j1aB3vypA442Mcp54eITEm0FUMow3jr0gCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Wild%2Band%2Bfree%2BPicmonkeyd.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003EI take little videos throughout the day every day for my\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2019\/12\/a-video-of-my-2019.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003E1 second every day project\u003C\/a\u003E. Sometimes, I capture little moments that would have gone unnoticed without this project. They mean a lot to me.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Vy0pLPErWCQ\/X0R9I6K-GhI\/AAAAAAAA2x4\/8HKc11R4wW4AVMWi3DqZPg5SH_aR_aZlgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1200\/Axel%2Bsummer%2Bcollage.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1200\" data-original-width=\"1200\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Vy0pLPErWCQ\/X0R9I6K-GhI\/AAAAAAAA2x4\/8HKc11R4wW4AVMWi3DqZPg5SH_aR_aZlgCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Axel%2Bsummer%2Bcollage.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u0026nbsp;Axel!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-5-oK3laLAYk\/X0R9_vG0bRI\/AAAAAAAA2yI\/KPT-6M8jaHIch8DW6PnTI4MOmAU0QAyBQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s983\/Strong%2Bwoman%2Bstanding.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"983\" data-original-width=\"983\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-5-oK3laLAYk\/X0R9_vG0bRI\/AAAAAAAA2yI\/KPT-6M8jaHIch8DW6PnTI4MOmAU0QAyBQCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Strong%2Bwoman%2Bstanding.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ekpDNi1yUpo\/X0R-L7Cv0iI\/AAAAAAAA2yM\/uI-0SUV-gQkxyc3kvpBQZ315fnR925QFwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Dixie%252C%2B10%2Bmonths%2Bold.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ekpDNi1yUpo\/X0R-L7Cv0iI\/AAAAAAAA2yM\/uI-0SUV-gQkxyc3kvpBQZ315fnR925QFwCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Dixie%252C%2B10%2Bmonths%2Bold.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003EDixie at 10 months old (she is now 1 year old)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Od0Pj82riBE\/X0R-MMVbJnI\/AAAAAAAA2yY\/18wqksR__WQvsF9ok3TyrJaMDFPMNuzWwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Minnie%2BMoo%2Band%2BLily.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Od0Pj82riBE\/X0R-MMVbJnI\/AAAAAAAA2yY\/18wqksR__WQvsF9ok3TyrJaMDFPMNuzWwCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Minnie%2BMoo%2Band%2BLily.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003EOur smallest calf ever: Minnie Moo. Still thriving 2 months later\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-bMxx2x2sQ8s\/X0R-L5keyKI\/AAAAAAAA2yQ\/dFYXZ4RWB_k5NS20HxSHyUGiGDwReOFUQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s917\/Petey%2Bowning%2Bthe%2Bhouse.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"917\" data-original-width=\"917\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-bMxx2x2sQ8s\/X0R-L5keyKI\/AAAAAAAA2yQ\/dFYXZ4RWB_k5NS20HxSHyUGiGDwReOFUQCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Petey%2Bowning%2Bthe%2Bhouse.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003EPetey at 10 months old (he's also 1 year old now)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-7iifRBsAIPs\/X0R-Mot8ufI\/AAAAAAAA2yU\/eYc_LB10hioORdNMo2IV0KBG8e3trSENACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1440\/Sunshower%2Bmagic.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-7iifRBsAIPs\/X0R-Mot8ufI\/AAAAAAAA2yU\/eYc_LB10hioORdNMo2IV0KBG8e3trSENACLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Sunshower%2Bmagic.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003EA sun shower captured from the SheShed's porch\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-rg2g6hi07j8\/X0R_weypaeI\/AAAAAAAA2yo\/7rO8JVS6lTwBIMsxZvcySTZYRsDmNRh3wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Me%2Band%2Bmy%2Bgirl%2B2%2Bedited.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-rg2g6hi07j8\/X0R_weypaeI\/AAAAAAAA2yo\/7rO8JVS6lTwBIMsxZvcySTZYRsDmNRh3wCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Me%2Band%2Bmy%2Bgirl%2B2%2Bedited.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EDespite the weirdness that is 2020, we are having a great time. As homebodies and introverts, our habits haven't really changed all that much. We've always been happiest hanging out at home with our animals, and now we get to do it without feeling guilty for feeling like we should be somewhere else. How's that for a glass-half-full outlook? 😉\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm fully intending to enjoy every last warm day of this summer to the fullest, because - well, none of us know what the future holds. This is more true this year than ever before.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EHave a fantastic late summer, friends!\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci style=\"font-weight: 700;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/3432456349115551736\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/08\/some-summer-pics.html#comment-form","title":"4 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3432456349115551736"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3432456349115551736"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/08\/some-summer-pics.html","title":"Some summer pics!"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-IFcykPQpzAQ\/X0RMDJnWUmI\/AAAAAAAA2tY\/Yej-bO_8NEYwZdtjTYUIES9fATeIni-IgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c-d\/Hammock-Rich%2Bedited.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"4"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-5600472081546232859"},"published":{"$t":"2020-08-09T18:29:00.008-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-10-22T18:23:32.383-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"aging"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life lessons"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Being in  my 40s - first impressions"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-PMz0866QKRY\/XzCKaDPDNII\/AAAAAAAA2p8\/rOdQJd6icLUeUU5eC79l_MS73HRGzp_5gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Splish%2Bsplash%2Bin%2Bthe%2Bpool%2B2.jpg\" style=\"display: block; padding: 1em 0px;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1488\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-PMz0866QKRY\/XzCKaDPDNII\/AAAAAAAA2p8\/rOdQJd6icLUeUU5eC79l_MS73HRGzp_5gCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Splish%2Bsplash%2Bin%2Bthe%2Bpool%2B2.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm now in my 8th month of being in my 40s. I didn't expect it, but there has been such a tremendous shift between my 30s and now being 40, that I need to write about it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBefore I go into what my 40s have been like for me thus far (both much better, but also worse than I anticipated), let's recap my 30s.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI started my career as an x-ray technologist when I was 30. At the time it felt late, but now, being 10 years into that career with 20 more to go, it feels like I entered it just at the right time.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm beyond grateful for all the \"squandered\" years and jobs I had in my 20s: working in a paper store, at a farm market, in a bookstore, delivering newspapers, sorting mail for the German post service, playing the organ at church for 18 years (I started at 15), studying (and quitting) Forestry, getting a meaningless \u003Ci\u003ECertificate in Hospitality,\u003C\/i\u003E\u0026nbsp;working in Wales at a 5-star resort for six months, and helping my then-boyfriend at his landscaping business as the person who always ended up doing all the annoying jobs like cleaning, ferrying a mount of dirt or gravel from one place to another, and doing all the billing and paperwork. I had my heart broken, broke one or two myself, and set out on my own with nothing more on my side than desperation and the determination to carve out a life of my own. I gained and lost 25+ pounds, got married, became an instant step-mom of 4 girls, and decided to go back to school full-time.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-O9wTpl8yRhE\/Xy3-gNZ-6II\/AAAAAAAA2pc\/AWGU1SiTDL8FnRdT74x0_prMVbGbAq_WQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s780\/Forest-Miri%2Bcutting%2Bdown%2Btree.jpg\" style=\"display: block; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"743\" data-original-width=\"780\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-O9wTpl8yRhE\/Xy3-gNZ-6II\/AAAAAAAA2pc\/AWGU1SiTDL8FnRdT74x0_prMVbGbAq_WQCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Forest-Miri%2Bcutting%2Bdown%2Btree.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-fE2XP6i_Vww\/Xy3-tV2gc8I\/AAAAAAAA2pg\/GtF7iMCbXRsSpqd4T0aTOqCYoCINLAxVQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s780\/Wedding%2Bparty.jpg\" style=\"display: block; padding: 1em 0px;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"499\" data-original-width=\"780\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-fE2XP6i_Vww\/Xy3-tV2gc8I\/AAAAAAAA2pg\/GtF7iMCbXRsSpqd4T0aTOqCYoCINLAxVQCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Wedding%2Bparty.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-vJht38zDaBk\/Xy3_TdAzR8I\/AAAAAAAA2po\/0n0tKwTktEQRKR95yjn6SKm7h1XzPbLNwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s720\/Sisters.jpg\" style=\"display: block; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"566\" data-original-width=\"720\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-vJht38zDaBk\/Xy3_TdAzR8I\/AAAAAAAA2po\/0n0tKwTktEQRKR95yjn6SKm7h1XzPbLNwCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Sisters.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut let's return to my 30s. As messy and confusing as the 20s were, my 30s were \u003Ci\u003Eglorious\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe first half was a mixed bag:\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI started my career.\u003Cb\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003EOften I loved it, sometimes I hated it.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI was struggling with the question: baby, yay or nay? (Society was \u003Ci\u003Enot\u003C\/i\u003E helping.) You probably know that I went with nay, a decision I haven't regretted even for a second.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI got my \"dream body\" (which was heavily influenced by diet culture and not altogether healthy eating habits).\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI got my posse (which was also influenced by the pressure of modern culture of having a girl gang and not healthy at \u003Ci\u003Eall\u003C\/i\u003E).\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI lost my posse, but started to dig to discover the real me.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI assembled my dream dog entourage.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-AYnbFWoQDDE\/XzCTLS3RJBI\/AAAAAAAA2qQ\/-jX2SR7gI40knoliSKIT_0H3Yn68C3jfACLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Dog%2Bparty.jpg\" style=\"display: block; padding: 1em 0px;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"679\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-AYnbFWoQDDE\/XzCTLS3RJBI\/AAAAAAAA2qQ\/-jX2SR7gI40knoliSKIT_0H3Yn68C3jfACLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Dog%2Bparty.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe second half of my 30s was \u003Ci\u003Emuch\u003C\/i\u003E better than the first:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBody was still banging; in fact, it was better than ever.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ECareer was also doing much better as well: I lost most of my fear of superiors\/doctors\/surgeons\/old curmudgeonly coworkers.\u0026nbsp; I liked my job more than ever.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe cultivated a new circle of friends.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe moved to our dream location.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI wrote 2 books - the fulfillment of a life-long dream.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe became debt-free for the first time in our adult lives.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-SytxCAyDe54\/Xy380PRPA8I\/AAAAAAAA2o8\/T6_GzToRgHYqED2a67VGuXiiF92B2i29gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1632\/The%2Blook%2Bof%2Blove.jpg\" style=\"display: block; padding: 1em 0px;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1088\" data-original-width=\"1632\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-SytxCAyDe54\/Xy380PRPA8I\/AAAAAAAA2o8\/T6_GzToRgHYqED2a67VGuXiiF92B2i29gCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/The%2Blook%2Bof%2Blove.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-mmj7vI5RGKY\/Xy39LKRWAkI\/AAAAAAAA2pM\/iT917K9FJwIEdg-nbO0232vFrv-9cvfjwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1843\/Family%2Blife.jpg\" style=\"display: block; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1843\" data-original-width=\"1843\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-mmj7vI5RGKY\/Xy39LKRWAkI\/AAAAAAAA2pM\/iT917K9FJwIEdg-nbO0232vFrv-9cvfjwCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Family%2Blife.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-UEHmAxbTevk\/Xy39KyOIHnI\/AAAAAAAA2pE\/Snt46lyPaFUeJBvs0lgRLULFvDSwzxA0wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1382\/Me%2B780.jpg\" style=\"display: block; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1382\" data-original-width=\"780\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-UEHmAxbTevk\/Xy39KyOIHnI\/AAAAAAAA2pE\/Snt46lyPaFUeJBvs0lgRLULFvDSwzxA0wCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Me%2B780.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ncdGd-836pI\/Xy39LPn0q0I\/AAAAAAAA2pI\/N37jpFhVikoG_-yF95lqVmSKUkxXFfybACLcBGAsYHQ\/s2048\/Tiny%2BDonald.jpg\" style=\"display: inline; padding: 1em 0px;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1365\" data-original-width=\"2048\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ncdGd-836pI\/Xy39LPn0q0I\/AAAAAAAA2pI\/N37jpFhVikoG_-yF95lqVmSKUkxXFfybACLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Tiny%2BDonald.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EEverything was going swimmingly.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd then I turned 40.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt didn't immediately go wrong; there had been a slow build-up. \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2019\/04\/breathless.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EMy breathing had started to act up\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;when I was 38. The\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/03\/my-body-is-changing.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Emiddle-age spread\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;started to set in around the same time. Thankfully, I had since abandoned the toxic diet culture lifestyle I had been enslaved to for decades, and it didn't bother me.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut other issues started cropping up as soon as I turned 40. Old wounds I had thought had closed long ago started to break open. I was suddenly thrown back to the worst of my insecure years: scared, worried about other people's opinions, reliving old traumas that dated back years, sometimes decades.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EClearly, despite of all the work I'd been doing, I hadn't resolved some of my old baggage. But now that I was entering the second half of my life, it was time.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-WxVBsJ34N_Y\/XzCS-4wDWBI\/AAAAAAAA2qM\/lJUaRXiFS-ojcEqVgBY7xBdi8_y2po53QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s814\/FB%2Bcover%2Bimage.jpg\" style=\"display: block; padding: 1em 0px;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"524\" data-original-width=\"814\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-WxVBsJ34N_Y\/XzCS-4wDWBI\/AAAAAAAA2qM\/lJUaRXiFS-ojcEqVgBY7xBdi8_y2po53QCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/FB%2Bcover%2Bimage.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003ESo I started therapy for the first time in my life. I had strongly resisted it up to that point, because I was raised to \"just deal with my problems\", and also had an irrational fear of answering uncomfortable questions from a stranger. As an introvert, I hate chitchat or intrusive questions, unless I connect with that person, in which case I'm more than happy to divulge my inner-most secrets within the first hour of meeting them.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ELuckily, my therapist happened to be one of those people, and after a few sessions I was able to fully open up.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe have worked through issues that have been holding me back for most of my life. Even though I've been living on my own since I was 19, immigrated to a new country, became a citizen of that country, made a career, have a successful marriage, step-mothered 4 girls and am able to support myself, I feel like I only grew up this year.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EGrowing up is so multi-faceted.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhen you're young you think you're grown up as soon as you live on your own for the first time. You are not. You have made an important step towards it; but you're not there by a long shot.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EEvery other much-hyped about milestone is a step in the right direction: finding a good job\/career; figuring out how to do your taxes or (in my case), paying someone who will do them for you; problem-solving issues like flat tires, burst pipes, being overcharged by the water company, or being treated unfairly by your boss.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut you're not there yet.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EEven if you have a mortgage you pay faithfully every month, go to your job five days a week, have friends and children and start paying into a retirement fund, you may still be quite a ways away from being a real adult.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-5V17MkEkxZU\/XzCZNtbl-tI\/AAAAAAAA2qc\/wtu-6leG3yQFGwu2nrzVoOQ03oJ9D9-iQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s762\/Me%2Band%2Bmy%2Bfurry%2Bbaby.jpg\" style=\"display: block; padding: 1em 0px;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"421\" data-original-width=\"762\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-5V17MkEkxZU\/XzCZNtbl-tI\/AAAAAAAA2qc\/wtu-6leG3yQFGwu2nrzVoOQ03oJ9D9-iQCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Me%2Band%2Bmy%2Bfurry%2Bbaby.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EI was fooled by it, too. I believed that people automatically became functioning adults simply by growing older, going to jobs every day and having kids.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's \u003Ci\u003Eso \u003C\/i\u003Enot true.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EYou only truly grow up once you're ready to face the world as who \u003Ci\u003Eyou\u003C\/i\u003E truly are. \u003C\/b\u003EAs long as you act a role, pretend to be someone you are not, or hide behind a persona that's not 100% you, you are \u003Ci\u003Enot\u003C\/i\u003E a grown-up.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBeing yourself includes several aspects I was reluctant to embrace, which is why it took me until my fucking 40s to finally get there:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cul\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cb\u003EAccept the fact that there always will be people who don't like you.\u003C\/b\u003E I'm embarrassed to say how hard that has been for me to accept, but there you go. I'm finally there, though!\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cb\u003EEmbrace your oddness.\u003C\/b\u003E\u0026nbsp;I think of myself as a somewhat awkward person. Not extremely so, but enough that you wouldn't ask me short-notice to entertain people that are unknown to me. It's just not my strength.\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cb\u003ERealize that people are liars\u003C\/b\u003E. I'm a trusting person. Another word for trusting is naive. I'm not saying that you should distrust everyone you meet; but I've learnt the hard way that you have to take everything with a grain of salt and be cautious.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cb\u003ELearn to put yourself first. \u003C\/b\u003EWe hear it all the time right now, don't we? Self-care is important, an empty cup can't give water, you can't be a support to your family when your needs aren't met. Still, hearing that and nodding your head, and really \u003Ci\u003Egetting\u003C\/i\u003E it are two completely different beasts. I've always been a big fan of the sentiment, but it wasn't until recently that I truly, fully embraced it. No matter what happens, I know that I will be fine, in the end.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Cb\u003EBe conscious of how you treat people.\u003C\/b\u003E Most of us think of ourselves as good people. It's only natural, right? But what I learnt in therapy is that unless you are 100% honest and truthful, you manipulate others. Even if you do it for good reasons (like telling a white lie to spare someone's feelings), you manipulate them. That was a hard pill for me to swallow, because I always thought that being nice to people was better than being hurtful by being honest. That's not so; it's another people-pleasing reflex that I'm learning to overcome. Lying to someone is usually easier and protects us more than it protects them. You think you're sparing that person's hurt feelings, when in reality you're protecting yourself from their displeasure.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/li\u003E\u003C\/ul\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EThis first year of my 40s has involved much more work than I anticipated. I really thought I was pretty much \"there\" - at that magical place where everything was falling into place, and I was living my happily-ever-after.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EMy depression was telling another story, and I'm so glad I listened. \u003Cb\u003EFor the first time \u003Ci\u003Eever\u003C\/i\u003E, I feel truly empowered.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI know who I am. I stand up for myself. I can unapologetically do everything that feels good to me: wear what I want, speak my mind, piss off people who're already pissed off with me, and whom I'd have tried very hard to get to like me until very recently.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003ENow I'm just standing there, with a smile on my face, telling them: go ahead! Be mad! Hate me! I don't care. You don't matter to me. I know who I am, I know the people who love me, and your opinion of me doesn't mean shit anymore.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-sBE7pFhA2vo\/XzCiVBFHkDI\/AAAAAAAA2qk\/Htbry-xTCXo8ccqz6Q-MG_NK1AKXWKF7wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Water%2Bsplash%2Bedited.jpg\" style=\"display: block; padding: 1em 0px;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-sBE7pFhA2vo\/XzCiVBFHkDI\/AAAAAAAA2qk\/Htbry-xTCXo8ccqz6Q-MG_NK1AKXWKF7wCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Water%2Bsplash%2Bedited.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI am as kind as I can be. I do the best I can. But that's all I'm willing to do.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EIf you don't like it, it's \u003Ci\u003Eyour\u003C\/i\u003E problem; not mine.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EThat's the best, most hard-won lesson that my 40s have taught me. It's the most important lesson of my life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EWorth every wrinkle, grey hair and thigh-lump, a million times over.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/5600472081546232859\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/08\/being-in-my-40s-first-impressions.html#comment-form","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/5600472081546232859"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/5600472081546232859"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/08\/being-in-my-40s-first-impressions.html","title":"Being in  my 40s - first impressions"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-PMz0866QKRY\/XzCKaDPDNII\/AAAAAAAA2p8\/rOdQJd6icLUeUU5eC79l_MS73HRGzp_5gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c-d\/Splish%2Bsplash%2Bin%2Bthe%2Bpool%2B2.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-415644214339634821"},"published":{"$t":"2020-08-03T20:37:00.002-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-10-22T18:27:57.812-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"2020"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life lessons"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"summer"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"you are not alone"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Read this if you think you're missing out"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-43XSVcNDtyo\/Xyi7F3bfPTI\/AAAAAAAA2mw\/_aNlWuBuGOscm_u5v35nfIBeMXyrCYnhACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Summer%2Bat%2Bthe%2Bfarm.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"679\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-43XSVcNDtyo\/Xyi7F3bfPTI\/AAAAAAAA2mw\/_aNlWuBuGOscm_u5v35nfIBeMXyrCYnhACLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Summer%2Bat%2Bthe%2Bfarm.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI haven't been to the beach this summer.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI haven't been on a boat.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI haven't been tubing\/water skiing\/jet skiing. (TBH I haven't done the latter two ever, and it becomes more evident with every year that I probably never will.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI haven't had ice cream in a cone.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI haven't taken a single road trip pic for the 'gram, because we haven't been on a road trip.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe haven't been on any \"adventures\".\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI haven't written an \u003Ci\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=K-a8s8OLBSE\u0026amp;list=PLmU8B4gZ41icKdheg4d2KZBgDR1wSWfbH\u0026amp;index=2\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eentire album\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E. (But I'm very glad Taylor Swift did; I'm not dissing you girl, I'm in awe and very happy you did!)\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EI don't know about you, but over the last couple of weeks I've felt bombarded by #summerfun pics on all the usual suspects: Instagram, Facebook, and probably a whole whack of other social media I luckily don't participate in.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003EAnd even though we all know that comparison is the thief of joy and everybody only posts their highlight\u0026nbsp;reel on social media, it's tough to see that when you feel like you haven't been doing any of those fun things.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's particularly hard in 2020 when you also need to consider social distancing, wondering if stay-at-home orders still apply (it doesn't \u003Ci\u003Elook\u003C\/i\u003E like anybody is still following those guidelines), and when you battle not only feelings of FOMO, but also either feeling resentful for staying home when seemingly nobody else does, or face ridicule from friends or the public for still adhering to those guidelines.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E2020 is a mindfuck.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ZIWrIupNVcg\/XyjA83uQbqI\/AAAAAAAA2m8\/9rw_x9vJ_Dse-l39fKaHzzZQWGyjsjSkwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s899\/Cacti.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"899\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ZIWrIupNVcg\/XyjA83uQbqI\/AAAAAAAA2m8\/9rw_x9vJ_Dse-l39fKaHzzZQWGyjsjSkwCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Cacti.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ELike most of you, I'm caught in the middle. I want to keep others and myself safe, but I also want to do things. We're striking a somewhat illogical middle ground where we've let some people into our bubble whom we're seeing regularly, and also meet with the odd people outside of our bubble whom we can't bear \u003Ci\u003Enot \u003C\/i\u003Eto see, so we just do. Maybe we shouldn't? But we all feel healthy and ready to risk it, and after all, this thing is not going away anytime soon, and there are some people you just \u003Ci\u003Ehave\u003C\/i\u003E to see for your own health and happiness.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut then, partly because I want to be \"good\", partly because I feel guilty (I work in healthcare and should be a role model after all), I don't do other things I'd normally do, like hanging out with people outside our bubble who we'd usually see all the time (aka the people with the boat).\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo, no boating for us this year.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EDon't be fooled by the current onslaught of pictures online. They're a symptom of everything we've been through for the last 6 months. Many of these people have quarantined, worked from home, sheltered in place, and didn't see any of their nearest and dearest for \u003Ci\u003Emonths\u003C\/i\u003E. We all have a breaking point. They're seeing them now for the first time in a long time, so they are going a bit nuts.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut also, if you pay close attention, you will notice that a lot of your usual summer content creators are missing. They're where you and me are, caught in the middle, considering right now if they should pack the kids, a beach umbrella and a tripod and go to the closest lake or river to take some pictures of themselves, proving to everybody that they're enjoying the summer just as much as everyone else does. I've thought about it myself for the last 3 days; that's how I know.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-0R4XqDjqWpM\/XyjF5s_sDQI\/AAAAAAAA2nI\/bqvkISUR-iUrqWmMCfZ48yHKqYrklxvBwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s621\/Standing%2Band%2Bthinking%2Bedited.png\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"621\" data-original-width=\"540\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-0R4XqDjqWpM\/XyjF5s_sDQI\/AAAAAAAA2nI\/bqvkISUR-iUrqWmMCfZ48yHKqYrklxvBwCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Standing%2Band%2Bthinking%2Bedited.png\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cfont size=\"2\"\u003EMe on a walk 2 days ago during my weekend on call.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI also get distracted by the news. (Don't we all?) I've never been a political person, but this year has really awakened me to pay more attention to what's going on. For the first time in my life I'm paying fierce attention to feminist issues, something I should have done decades ago, but now is better than never. Then there is BLM, the shitshow that is 45's regime, everything happening in Portland, and all the insane conspiracy theories that have been passed around, some by people I know have also kept me up. 2020 is a \u003Ci\u003Elot\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"Enjoying the summer\" is not the goal this year. Maybe it never has been, but I'm a frivolous person who likes to enjoy life, so I will strive towards this goal again next year, with double the effort; just so you know.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI know that all of us have been dealing with the same shit. That's why I thought it's important to come here today and remind us all of a few facts that are easily forgotten in all the chaos and noise:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cul\u003E\u003Cli\u003EWe live amidst a \u003Cb\u003Epandemic\u003C\/b\u003E. Life as we knew it doesn't exist anymore.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003EIt's okay if we lose our shit more than usual.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003EIt's normal if we feel unsettled, worried, and off-track.\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003EYour body changed? Read the room, darling; so did everybody else's.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003ENone of us have gone on a proper vacation. Even the folks whose pictures we've been salivating over haven't been able to enjoy their vacation like they usually did: not everybody was there. Not all their favourite restaurants were open. Not all the people in the neighbourhood could come to the barbecue. They were secretly worried if they put their loved ones at risk.\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003EAll of us feel unfulfilled. \u003Cb\u003EWhat we, collectively, are craving is a sense of security. \u003C\/b\u003EAnd nobody can give that to us right now. So we are all insecure little ducklings.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/li\u003E\u003C\/ul\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut don't forget: I'm German. I grew up in the 80s, when our school's curriculum was all about teaching us what happened during the Hitler years, from 1933 to 1945.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIn a way, I've been prepared for this since I was in Elementary school.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EEver since I was little, I was waiting for something awful to happen. It happened to my parents, grandparents and great-grandparents - why not to me?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd then I read this:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cblockquote\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cblockquote\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-bB_DPquAPBA\/XyjHSUoLpBI\/AAAAAAAA2nQ\/j9bvvWw4sFIDofdV54SDnleuBrrnXJAKgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s640\/1900.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"640\" data-original-width=\"514\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-bB_DPquAPBA\/XyjHSUoLpBI\/AAAAAAAA2nQ\/j9bvvWw4sFIDofdV54SDnleuBrrnXJAKgCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/1900.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/blockquote\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/blockquote\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"background-color: white; color: #050505; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\"Imagine you were born in 1900.\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q\" style=\"background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EWhen you're 14, World War I begins and ends when you're 18 with 22 million dead.\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q\" style=\"background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003ESoon after a global pandemic, the Spanish Flu appears, killing 50 million people. And you're alive and 20 years old.\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q\" style=\"background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EWhen you're 29 you survive the global economic crisis that started with the collapse of the New York Stock Exchange, causing inflation, unemployment and famine.\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q\" style=\"background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EWhen you're 33 years old the Nazis come to power.\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q\" style=\"background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EWhen you're 39, World War II begins and ends when you're 45 years old with a 60 million dead. In the Holocaust 6 million Jews die.\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q\" style=\"background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EWhen you're 52, the Korean War begins.\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EWhen you're 64, the Vietnam War begins and ends when you're 75.\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q\" style=\"background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EA child born in 1985 thinks his grandparents have no idea how difficult life is, but they have survived several wars and catastrophes.\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q\" style=\"background-color: white; color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EToday we have all the comforts in a new world, amid a new pandemic. But we complain because we need to wear masks. We complain because we must stay confined to our homes where we have food, electricity, running water, Wi-fi, even Netflix! None of that existed back in the day. But humanity survived those circumstances and never lost their joy of living.\"\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe are living through a very mild version of the catastrophe I've been prepared for all my life. \u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ENone of our sons, brothers, grandsons, or cousins have to go to war.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThere are no bombs being dropped on our homes. \u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe haven't been invaded by enemy forces. \u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe are not starving. \u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe are not being raped. \u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOur homes aren't being taken away from us. \u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo \u003Cb\u003Ewho the fuck cares if you're not going to the beach this summer?\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe are alive. \u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe are with our loved ones. \u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe can be fairly certain that we'll wake up in our beds tomorrow, with no political flyer telling us to turn our friend in; or a warning that a stray bomb may eliminate us all.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EWe are the lucky ones. \u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv dir=\"auto\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Lzt74NffUvs\/XyjWpwVuHcI\/AAAAAAAA2nY\/OarqL0gpTqMmAFRC8frSvHOWbJUEixN8gCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Water%2Bsplash%2Bedited.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Lzt74NffUvs\/XyjWpwVuHcI\/AAAAAAAA2nY\/OarqL0gpTqMmAFRC8frSvHOWbJUEixN8gCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Water%2Bsplash%2Bedited.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/415644214339634821\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/08\/read-this-if-you-think-youre-missing-out.html#comment-form","title":"4 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/415644214339634821"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/415644214339634821"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/08\/read-this-if-you-think-youre-missing-out.html","title":"Read this if you think you're missing out"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-43XSVcNDtyo\/Xyi7F3bfPTI\/AAAAAAAA2mw\/_aNlWuBuGOscm_u5v35nfIBeMXyrCYnhACLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c-d\/Summer%2Bat%2Bthe%2Bfarm.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"4"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-1822542360962824249"},"published":{"$t":"2020-07-18T19:30:00.002-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-10-22T18:22:38.326-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"2020"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"introspection"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life lessons"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"nature"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"seasons"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Creative seasons"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lNLh79NGgAk\/XxOboKc8IGI\/AAAAAAAA2fI\/rzI6v1pibsQXFTx87h_77uaSZSRBIY2bACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1920\/desert-5371434_1920.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1280\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lNLh79NGgAk\/XxOboKc8IGI\/AAAAAAAA2fI\/rzI6v1pibsQXFTx87h_77uaSZSRBIY2bACLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/desert-5371434_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003ELife, just as nature, has different seasons. The insistence of modern life that we should be productive all the time and grow, create and make money 365 days of the year is not in alignment with how our internal rhythm works.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003ENature, the greatest teacher there is, knows that nothing can grow every day of the year. After the explosion of new life, colours, and energy in the spring, the maturing during summer, the ripening and bounty of fall, everything goes to sleep in winter to rest and restore.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EHuman beings are no different from plants. We go through lots of different seasons in our lifetime: the seasons of nature, of aging, of our outside world, and our inside world.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EStarting an ambitious project in the middle of summer with the hot weather, school's out, general laid-back attitude of lazy days and wanting to be outside might not be the best idea.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EBut doing it in the fall, with the fresh energy of cooler days and back-to-school vibes will inspire us to spend more time at the desk and work on something new.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-l3Co04BBNDM\/XxOfteex_WI\/AAAAAAAA2fQ\/gbjV1IRaA88jSZpmRqo_9mtbuYUugMGVwCLcBGAsYHQ\/s960\/Flowers.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"960\" data-original-width=\"792\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-l3Co04BBNDM\/XxOfteex_WI\/AAAAAAAA2fQ\/gbjV1IRaA88jSZpmRqo_9mtbuYUugMGVwCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Flowers.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI've been intrigued by the concept of creative seasons for a while now. Being someone who didn't allow herself to acknowledge and nurture her creative side until I was in my 30s (\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2013\/07\/who-am-i.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ethis post\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;gives you an idea about my confusion at age 33:\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2013\/07\/who-am-i.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003E\"Who am I?\"\u003C\/a\u003E),\u0026nbsp;I'm still somewhat new to the different aspects of it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EIn the beginning I believed that the only way to \"do it right\" was by doing the hustle of getting up at the crack of dawn, working on it every day, and putting in the 10,000 hours of practice made popular by Malcolm Gladwell's wildly popular book \u003Ci\u003EOutliers: The story of Success. \u003C\/i\u003EWhich is daunting when you start tentatively spreading your creative baby wings at the ripe old age of 33, hate getting up at the crack of dawn, and have a job, life, and mental illness to keep up with.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003ELuckily, the 10,000 hour myth has been largely\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.6seconds.org\/2018\/02\/09\/the-great-practice-myth-debunking-the-10000-hour-rule-and-what-you-actually-need-to-know-about-practice\/#:~:text=What%20does%20it%20take%20to,more%20or%20less%20%E2%80%93%20completely%20false.\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Edebunked\u003C\/a\u003E, and I grew up some more and gained a \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Quit-Hustle-overcoming-everything-yourself\/dp\/1071404741\/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8\u0026amp;qid=1569595992\u0026amp;sr=8-2\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Enew, much healthier perspective\u003C\/a\u003E.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-sw7B85l5KGs\/XxOk3bZ_0jI\/AAAAAAAA2fY\/mr72L9zM5fwxZEiIXj52HE39mjJsDI8ZACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/108832898_2012580628886946_4824558970735026318_o.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-sw7B85l5KGs\/XxOk3bZ_0jI\/AAAAAAAA2fY\/mr72L9zM5fwxZEiIXj52HE39mjJsDI8ZACLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/108832898_2012580628886946_4824558970735026318_o.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhen you express yourself creatively, the seasons you go through are similar to nature's season. In my experience they are the following:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E1. Living life\u003C\/b\u003E, making new experiences, filling up the creative gas tank.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E2. Expressing yourself\u003C\/b\u003E: creating something new (in my case writing blog posts, articles and books).\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E3. Letting go:\u003C\/b\u003E releasing your work into the world and accepting that it is now out there for the world to see. You have to emotionally let it go or it will drive you crazy.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E4. Resting:\u003C\/b\u003E your creativity is spent for the moment. You need to rest, recharge and allow yourself to just be.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've read lots about that you have to show up every day or you will never achieve anything, but I only partly agree. Sure, I go to my day job every day I'm supposed to and do my work, I keep a reasonably clean house and maintain an acceptable level of grooming. But I have realized that taking breaks when I need them \u003Cb\u003Eis \u003C\/b\u003Eshowing up, in my creative life and in everyday life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI take a nap when I need it, I take an entire weekend off writing if I'd rather read a book or watch movies, and \u003Ci\u003EI don't beat myself up about it.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003ERest is an essential part of being productive.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo is living life and experiencing new things or doing old favourites. I've mentioned it many times before, but I've had many of my best ideas during dog walks. Another element of the novel I'm working on fell into place last week after my therapy session on the drive home.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-vG-nhhRekxE\/XxOobweXiVI\/AAAAAAAA2fg\/mD840BpsNBopyEOUzN-A8zBh-opmLHj6QCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/Happy%2BRich.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-vG-nhhRekxE\/XxOobweXiVI\/AAAAAAAA2fg\/mD840BpsNBopyEOUzN-A8zBh-opmLHj6QCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/Happy%2BRich.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe invisible deadline I've been trying desperately to reach doesn't exist anymore. I'm\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2019\/09\/playing-long-game.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eplaying the long game\u003C\/a\u003E, and I stopped the clock.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe great beauty of having a creative hobby as opposed to trying to create a business or \"side hustle\" (I \u003Ci\u003Ehate\u003C\/i\u003E that expression) is that you have time and freedom. I know that I can and will finish a project if it's important to me. But I no longer set myself arbitrary deadlines because I'm much more realistic these days with my energy levels and limits.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe current season I'm in is one of an intense thirst for knowledge. I read 2-3 books a week, follow politics more closely than ever before, and do a lot of research on personality disorders (mostly research for my book). I also watch more movies, not just for fun but also to learn all the different ways of storytelling, and I listen to audiobooks daily. Everything to do with the art of bringing stories alive is endlessly fascinating to me!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-as-qUGekfg8\/XxOswvaBLQI\/AAAAAAAA2fo\/CM56WjLhJcsE44eQvvFAhjGbFVLhHDlZgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1080\/107825096_2011091442369198_2320530966042135177_o.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-as-qUGekfg8\/XxOswvaBLQI\/AAAAAAAA2fo\/CM56WjLhJcsE44eQvvFAhjGbFVLhHDlZgCLcBGAsYHQ\/d\/107825096_2011091442369198_2320530966042135177_o.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnother fun little change is that I'm wearing again all my clothes! After nearly 3 years of wearing mostly jeans and boots (I got Merritt-ed), I'm wearing again my dresses, skirts and frilly tops! It feels \u003Ci\u003Eso \u003C\/i\u003Egood. Does it mean that I'm slightly overdressed everywhere I go? You bet it does. But who cares? My clothes make me so happy!\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EExpect regular updates on\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;if you're into that sort of thing 😁\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ETake it easy, be kind to yourself and others, and honour the seasons of your life!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/1822542360962824249\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/07\/creative-seasons.html#comment-form","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/1822542360962824249"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/1822542360962824249"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/07\/creative-seasons.html","title":"Creative seasons"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lNLh79NGgAk\/XxOboKc8IGI\/AAAAAAAA2fI\/rzI6v1pibsQXFTx87h_77uaSZSRBIY2bACLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c-d\/desert-5371434_1920.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-3746054061708951688"},"published":{"$t":"2020-07-09T12:36:00.006-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-07-10T06:37:07.679-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"farmlife"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"nature"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Farm and forest get married"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-QzD3wgBHSkE\/Xwdu6TzwryI\/AAAAAAAA2aw\/LPo949iHPvMZLvBp5wfgDFy28-30EDSfgCK4BGAsYHg\/s780\/Sunflower%2Bfield%2B780.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"537\" data-original-width=\"780\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-QzD3wgBHSkE\/Xwdu6TzwryI\/AAAAAAAA2aw\/LPo949iHPvMZLvBp5wfgDFy28-30EDSfgCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Sunflower%2Bfield%2B780.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ctable align=\"center\" cellpadding=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\" class=\"tr-caption-container\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"\u003E\u003Ctbody\u003E\u003Ctr\u003E\u003Ctd class=\"tr-caption\" style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"arial\"\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/td\u003E\u003C\/tr\u003E\u003C\/tbody\u003E\u003C\/table\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003ELittle known fact: Rich has an agricultural degree. You may know that he grew up on a farm and was expected to take over the family business, but few are aware that he went to college for it. He knows a lot about soil, plants, animal husbandry, and whatever else you need to know to grow things and raise animals.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: normal; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: normal; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003EI was studying Forestry when we met, and Rich thought he'd hit the jackpot. He couldn't believe that he had found a girl who was just as interested in nature and hunting like him! Little did he know that I was about the least suitable person you can imagine to attempt her hand at forestry, and luckily for the future of trees I dropped out shortly after meeting him. Poor guy.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003EDespite toiling away at it for two years, I pretty much remember zero plant names or animal species. Youth (and the ability to easily retain information) is wasted on the young.\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C!--more--\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: normal; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: normal; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003EUnsurprisingly, Rich is in charge of anything plant-related in our marriage. My only responsibility is to give the rubber trees a sponge bath every few weeks (they like being clean) and to nag him every day to make sure he's watered the plants. (I'm in charge of the hydration of all humans, animals and plants, and I take that responsibility\u0026nbsp;\u003Ci\u003Every\u003C\/i\u003E\u0026nbsp;seriously.)\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: normal; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: normal; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003ERich is the buyer of plants, the sole grower of our garden, and the grower of meat. People often ask if we eat our own animals, and yes, we do! That's part of the reason we have them. We raise our own chickens and turkeys, and yesterday we slaughtered our first home-grown cow. Not one of the minis, but a normal-sized one we raised for that very reason. She was a mean cow, so it wasn't hard to say goodbye to her.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-NyEyCT23um8\/XwdSMQyzIPI\/AAAAAAAA2X0\/RzO4zNxNDpkgfylQePBJVFOjq4fqLYO1wCK4BGAsYHg\/s1440\/Cows.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-NyEyCT23um8\/XwdSMQyzIPI\/AAAAAAAA2X0\/RzO4zNxNDpkgfylQePBJVFOjq4fqLYO1wCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Cows.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-family: inherit;\"\u003EWe were talking about gardening the other day, and after Rich told me a bit about alternative ways of gardening and agriculture, I did some research. Turns out, this stuff is fascinating! Here a few different earth friendly and sustainable methods I found:\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"5\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EHydroponics and aquaponics, aka soil-free growing\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"5\"\u003E\u003Ctable align=\"center\" cellpadding=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\" class=\"tr-caption-container\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"\u003E\u003Ctbody\u003E\u003Ctr\u003E\u003Ctd style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/--wlRodT8a3s\/Xwde1RKnx7I\/AAAAAAAA2Yg\/mwGdHX4a1q0EpyqPW3Zj0Evc3fqbVskbACK4BGAsYHg\/s1920\/greenhouse-2139526_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1280\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/--wlRodT8a3s\/Xwde1RKnx7I\/AAAAAAAA2Yg\/mwGdHX4a1q0EpyqPW3Zj0Evc3fqbVskbACK4BGAsYHg\/d\/greenhouse-2139526_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/td\u003E\u003C\/tr\u003E\u003Ctr\u003E\u003Ctd class=\"tr-caption\" style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cfont size=\"2\"\u003EImage found\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/pixabay.com\/photos\/greenhouse-organic-farming-2139527\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ehere\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/td\u003E\u003C\/tr\u003E\u003C\/tbody\u003E\u003C\/table\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003EHydroponics and aquaponics both involve growing vegetables and plants without the use of soil. How cool is that?!\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003EHydroponics uses minerals to feed the roots, using gravel or Perlite.\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003EAquaponics uses water to feed the vegetables and plant roots. The water contains nutrients that come from fish waste (and the associated mineralization process).\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003EThere are several advantages to using a hydroponics system to grow crops. According to\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/greenourplanet.org\/why-use-hydroponic-systems\/#:~:text=When%20compared%20to%20traditional%20soil,a%20well%20managed%20hydroponic%20system.\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Egreen our planet\u003C\/a\u003E, growing crops using hydroponics results in \"up to 90% more efficient use of water\". Just as importantly, \"no chemical weed or pest control products are needed when operating a hydroponic system\".\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"5\"\u003EPermaculture, aka self-sustaining, low-maintenance gardening\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Ctable align=\"center\" cellpadding=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\" class=\"tr-caption-container\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"\u003E\u003Ctbody\u003E\u003Ctr\u003E\u003Ctd style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-VmJLisOGxso\/XwdiIYxEjsI\/AAAAAAAA2ZU\/TsEQkQPyiToYtRbeQ0UEXgkUa6ywIImYQCK4BGAsYHg\/s651\/Permaculture.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"521\" data-original-width=\"651\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-VmJLisOGxso\/XwdiIYxEjsI\/AAAAAAAA2ZU\/TsEQkQPyiToYtRbeQ0UEXgkUa6ywIImYQCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Permaculture.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/td\u003E\u003C\/tr\u003E\u003Ctr\u003E\u003Ctd class=\"tr-caption\" style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cfont size=\"2\"\u003EImage found\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/newalchemists.net\/2014\/06\/25\/chinese-permaculture\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ehere\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/td\u003E\u003C\/tr\u003E\u003C\/tbody\u003E\u003C\/table\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003EPermaculture means producing food in a way that mimics the natural growth of plants and vegetables. It uses smart farming techniques to increase efficiency and reduce waste. Typical techniques include creating swales (=natural or man-made channels with sloping sides) to store water, holistic grazing and the use of bio-fertilizer.\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cspan id=\"docs-internal-guid-115f7d54-7fff-84a4-1b84-8b63fbd2f37b\" style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003EInstead of tilling, sheet mulching is an interesting technique used in permaculture. A weed barrier such as wet newspaper or cardboard is applied to the soil. They act as a nutrient spot for plants, and will eventually break down, allowing both water and plant roots to enter the soil. The idea is to mimic the natural leaf coverings on the floor of the forest.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003EThe motivation behind permaculture is that traditional agriculture sometimes works against nature, but permaculture works with nature. The three core principles are caring for people, caring for the earth, and limiting consumption. One of the key\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.gardeningknowhow.com\/special\/organic\/the-essence-of-permaculture-gardening.htm\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ebenefits of permaculture\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;is sustainability.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cfont size=\"5\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EAeroponics, aka using air!\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cfont size=\"5\"\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Ctable align=\"center\" cellpadding=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\" class=\"tr-caption-container\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"\u003E\u003Ctbody\u003E\u003Ctr\u003E\u003Ctd style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-7loyJ8uYwaI\/XwdeDASSluI\/AAAAAAAA2YM\/t8uRBbHtZ3I4rkiJOy_xARGWAjYhBjCtACK4BGAsYHg\/s1200\/Vertical%2Bfarming.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1081\" data-original-width=\"1200\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-7loyJ8uYwaI\/XwdeDASSluI\/AAAAAAAA2YM\/t8uRBbHtZ3I4rkiJOy_xARGWAjYhBjCtACK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Vertical%2Bfarming.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/td\u003E\u003C\/tr\u003E\u003Ctr\u003E\u003Ctd class=\"tr-caption\" style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cfont size=\"2\"\u003EImage found\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.agritecture.com\/blog\/2019\/2\/10\/investigating-vertical-farming-for-bioenergy-crops\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ehere\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/td\u003E\u003C\/tr\u003E\u003C\/tbody\u003E\u003C\/table\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"font-style: italic; line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003ECan you live of love and air alone? Apparently, yes! (Sort of.) In aeroponics, plants are hung up in a dark place and sprayed frequently with a nutrient-rich mixture. The technique used is called\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.thebalancesmb.com\/what-you-should-know-about-vertical-farming-4144786\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Evertical farming\u003C\/a\u003E, which literally means that all crops are vertically stacked. You can grow more plants in a smaller space, and control the conditions by adjusting the soil, water and light.\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"font-style: italic; line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"font-style: italic; line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cfont size=\"5\"\u003EAgroforestry, aka farm and forest get married\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u0026nbsp;(which could have been Rich and me had I not quit forestry)\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"font-style: italic; line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Ctable align=\"center\" cellpadding=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\" class=\"tr-caption-container\" style=\"font-style: italic; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"\u003E\u003Ctbody\u003E\u003Ctr\u003E\u003Ctd style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-pjnJxcZyVNo\/XwdgQzovjgI\/AAAAAAAA2Y8\/yef3ywU-qSY-BDL72HbqIrCC4GZNErk2ACK4BGAsYHg\/s750\/Agroforestry.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"450\" data-original-width=\"750\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-pjnJxcZyVNo\/XwdgQzovjgI\/AAAAAAAA2Y8\/yef3ywU-qSY-BDL72HbqIrCC4GZNErk2ACK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Agroforestry.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/td\u003E\u003C\/tr\u003E\u003Ctr\u003E\u003Ctd class=\"tr-caption\" style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EImage found\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.newfoodmagazine.com\/article\/94301\/how-can-agroforestry-help-support-the-climate-agenda\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ehere\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/td\u003E\u003C\/tr\u003E\u003C\/tbody\u003E\u003C\/table\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"font-style: italic; line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003EAgroforestry combines growing trees along with plant crops and keeping livestock. It mimics the natural ecosystem of the forest\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003Eand is also considered a permaculture practice. Agroforestry\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;combines both agricultural and forestry practices to ensure sustainability and greatly reduces the need for pesticides and chemical fertilizers. It also increases crop yield, provides shelter for animals, and reduces energy costs by creating natural shelterbelts that protect against wind and snow. Shelterbelts prevent soil erosion and catch and distribute snow.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003ETrees are also an extremely valuable tool to fight climate change by sequestering greenhouse gases and absorbing carbon dioxide.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"font-style: italic; line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-style: normal;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003EAgroforestry also increases biodiversity and offers food, a refuge against predators, and a cover for nesting and breeding.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003EAgricultural machines used in large-scale agroforestry can be found at\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/pomi.dk\/en\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Epomi.dk\/en\u003C\/a\u003E.\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-XB6vgSRk-u4\/XwdoqsX0iSI\/AAAAAAAA2Zs\/uTCxTtxDg68VUAS4FR6qneXAasnCgYaXQCK4BGAsYHg\/s1078\/Garden.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1078\" data-original-width=\"1078\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-XB6vgSRk-u4\/XwdoqsX0iSI\/AAAAAAAA2Zs\/uTCxTtxDg68VUAS4FR6qneXAasnCgYaXQCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Garden.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003EEven though I abandoned a career in forestry, I have a deep love for and appreciation of nature. We only have one earth, and it's important to learn how to\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2019\/11\/how-to-live-little-bit-greener.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Elive a little bit greener\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;and to find out more about ways to preserve our beautiful planet!\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/3746054061708951688\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/07\/farm-and-forest-get-married.html#comment-form","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3746054061708951688"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3746054061708951688"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/07\/farm-and-forest-get-married.html","title":"Farm and forest get married"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-QzD3wgBHSkE\/Xwdu6TzwryI\/AAAAAAAA2aw\/LPo949iHPvMZLvBp5wfgDFy28-30EDSfgCK4BGAsYHg\/s72-c-d\/Sunflower%2Bfield%2B780.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-7465501198988314623"},"published":{"$t":"2020-07-01T09:35:00.006-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-07-01T09:42:09.390-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"best of"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Dakota Johnson"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"In good company"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1hDsfLcBFEI\/Xvv2GSAH6mI\/AAAAAAAA2S4\/-vXH6LiTofUXTboTwFT5B-7tYxCQ2mZBgCK4BGAsYHg\/s1080\/Bear-mama%2Bcropped.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"829\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1hDsfLcBFEI\/Xvv2GSAH6mI\/AAAAAAAA2S4\/-vXH6LiTofUXTboTwFT5B-7tYxCQ2mZBgCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Bear-mama%2Bcropped.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv https:=\"\" style=\"text-align: justify;\" whbtrzzqeg=\"\" youtu.be=\"\"\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EI have a few things to tell you! I'm quite excited, since this year seems to be destined to be of epic proportions in terms of what the world is up to, and incredibly small when it comes to our personal lives. If you feel like that, rest assured: we\u0026nbsp;\u003Ci\u003Eall\u003C\/i\u003E\u0026nbsp;do. But personally, I find it to be a very nice break.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003EWhat's not to like about unashamedly lazing about in your hammock\/couch\/bed after work and knowing that you are a responsible member of society since you're doing your bit to slow the spread of Covid-19?\u0026nbsp;\u003Cb\u003EIt's\u0026nbsp;\u003Ci\u003Eawesome\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EYesterday I found out that Dakota Johnson and I have something in common! I read\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.architecturaldigest.com\/story\/step-inside-dakota-johnsons-midcentury-modern-home\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ethis Architectural Digest article\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;featuring her home (which is stunning and endearingly non-Hollywood), and the accompanying video really highlights her quirky personality. She gives the AD team a tour of her house and yard, and amongst other details points out her bamboo which is incredibly tall.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EShe then continues telling us that her one neighbour is \"at war\" with her about how high the bamboo in the driveway is growing.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"Which is insane, because why would I want people to be able to see in my house? I can't believe that I'm even letting \u003Ci\u003Eyou\u003C\/i\u003E guys in my house! \u003Cb\u003ESo they can just shove it.\u003C\/b\u003E\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI love her!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EHow nice to know that a famous Hollywood actress and I have to deal with the same annoyances.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EHere is the video:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cscript async=\"\" src=\"\/\/player-backend.cnevids.com\/script\/video\/5e67abb0bcdfff11f82a031c.js?iu=\/3379\/arch.dart\/share\"\u003E\u003C\/script\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EOther nice things that have happened lately:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe tiniest calf in the world was born: Minnie Moo! We are completely smitten.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-LumEW51C4Rk\/Xvyy-UnNHyI\/AAAAAAAA2To\/78gNC3endOMXGTf3dUeR9whfXlgFgOAvQCK4BGAsYHg\/s1080\/Minnie%2BMoo%2Band%2BLily.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-LumEW51C4Rk\/Xvyy-UnNHyI\/AAAAAAAA2To\/78gNC3endOMXGTf3dUeR9whfXlgFgOAvQCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Minnie%2BMoo%2Band%2BLily.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI bought the most fabulous work shoes in the history of work shoes:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1Kl1tKu0NfM\/Xvy0EwdfdpI\/AAAAAAAA2UA\/mp22R2gBI0kTrIcMrrTCEB2-Grn17ra9gCK4BGAsYHg\/s1080\/Best%2Bnew%2Bwork%2Bshoes.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1Kl1tKu0NfM\/Xvy0EwdfdpI\/AAAAAAAA2UA\/mp22R2gBI0kTrIcMrrTCEB2-Grn17ra9gCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Best%2Bnew%2Bwork%2Bshoes.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EThey are x-ray shoes! That girl on the them even wears her head in a top bun, just like me! Aren't they incredible? I got them from\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/medicapparel.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EMedicApparel\u003C\/a\u003E, and I recommend them to anyone. They are cute and comfy and I'm in love.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe enjoyed a\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/CBie9GqjG-i\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Esun shower\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;from the porch which was nothing short of magical.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-gpigkj_YwEE\/Xvy1M6-FElI\/AAAAAAAA2UY\/AP-Yo8DLUgou6ZQykgwGokR1MGL1FqswACK4BGAsYHg\/s1440\/Sunshower%2Bmagic.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-gpigkj_YwEE\/Xvy1M6-FElI\/AAAAAAAA2UY\/AP-Yo8DLUgou6ZQykgwGokR1MGL1FqswACK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Sunshower%2Bmagic.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EI got a few DMs and comments from readers telling me how much they enjoyed\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Lets-Pretend-Normal-Miriam-Verheyden\/dp\/1684016452\/ref=pd_rhf_gw_p_img_1?_encoding=UTF8\u0026amp;psc=1\u0026amp;refRID=CJSTBEHWD4SQHBK04A1V\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ELet's Pretend This is Normal\u003C\/a\u003E. This will never not be special to me, so thank you very much! I released it two years ago in June, and it's incredible to know that people are still finding it and reading it. Just a reminder: if you'd like a signed copy of either one of my two books, you can get them right\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/store12487153.ecwid.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ehere\u003C\/a\u003E.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-QCN8fuo_ato\/Xvy307g5gPI\/AAAAAAAA2Uw\/mHI_BLvQcfIY6BNmkq6hQdg7jlDIJrvtQCK4BGAsYHg\/s1440\/Writing.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-QCN8fuo_ato\/Xvy307g5gPI\/AAAAAAAA2Uw\/mHI_BLvQcfIY6BNmkq6hQdg7jlDIJrvtQCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Writing.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003ESpeaking of writing: I'm finally working properly on book #3! It's my first fiction novel, and I'm having so much fun writing it! Which is a good sign, because hopefully that means it will be just as enjoyable to read it. It's a psychological thriller set in a small town with three female protagonists - and that's all I'm gonna say for now. I'm at just over 9,000 words out of a projected 80,000, so I still have quite a ways to go. But it's happening!!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EOn the not-so-bright side, I got bucked off a horse last week and have the bruises and sore body to prove it. Luckily I didn't break anything, but boy, am I sore!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003EAll in all, June was pretty sweet. Here is my 1-second-a-day video of it:\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"362\" src=\"https:\/\/player.vimeo.com\/video\/434208506\" title=\"vimeo-player\" width=\"640\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHappy Canada Day, Canada!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv https:=\"\" whbtrzzqeg=\"\" youtu.be=\"\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/7465501198988314623\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/07\/in-good-company.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/7465501198988314623"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/7465501198988314623"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/07\/in-good-company.html","title":"In good company"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1hDsfLcBFEI\/Xvv2GSAH6mI\/AAAAAAAA2S4\/-vXH6LiTofUXTboTwFT5B-7tYxCQ2mZBgCK4BGAsYHg\/s72-c-d\/Bear-mama%2Bcropped.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-4933825891070087617"},"published":{"$t":"2020-06-18T20:53:00.004-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-06-19T18:38:22.521-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"self awareness"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"The power of letting go is yours - if you want it"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-NMzN7y43pkA\/XuwXNPaEPRI\/AAAAAAAA2O8\/Y35NGNPaWfErpNtMKkrXFqhtxDbHNVo_ACK4BGAsYHg\/s1440\/Country%2Broads.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-NMzN7y43pkA\/XuwXNPaEPRI\/AAAAAAAA2O8\/Y35NGNPaWfErpNtMKkrXFqhtxDbHNVo_ACK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Country%2Broads.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EToday is a VERY big day. Dixie (our rambunctious, sharp-clawed, cat-chasing puppy) has mastered the trick of jumping into my outstretched arms onto my lap, little-kid-style. It hurts (only a little), but what's a little bit of pain in the face of so much all-encompassing, INTENSE\u003Ci\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003Elove, right? \u003Ci\u003E*laughs hysterically while clutching her bleeding arm and wiping the dog saliva off her face\u003C\/i\u003E*\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EToday is also the day where Rich is meeting these \u003Cstrike\u003Estrange\u003C\/strike\u003E\u0026nbsp;o\u003Cstrike\u003Eminous\u003C\/strike\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003Ci\u003Enice \u003C\/i\u003E(?)\u0026nbsp;German fellas who've invited him to their weekly meeting at a local pub. I'm sure it was just an oversight and not on purpose that they didn't extend their invitation to me as well - mistakes happen, right?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHe hasn't come home yet, but he's only an hour overdue, so I'm sure everything is just \u003Ci\u003Efine\u003C\/i\u003E...\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut seriously, today \u003Ci\u003Eis\u003C\/i\u003E a big day. I had a breakthrough today that just might be - and this time I'm \u003Ci\u003Enot \u003C\/i\u003Eexaggerating - \u003Cb\u003Elife-changing\u003C\/b\u003E. In the best way possible.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIf I've sounded down or sad in my posts this year, I'm sorry. I'm not saying that everything has been peachy-perfect (it hasn't been that way for \u003Ci\u003Eany\u003C\/i\u003E of us), but I'm in a much better place than my posts may have suggested. If you've worried, I truly apologize.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI tend to write when I'm most stimulated\/had a mental epiphany\/are fully engaged emotionally, and I've been on a pretty intense journey of going back in my own timeline and healing old wounds.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo, some of these posts were created when I was still in the middle of unravelling my emotions\/making sense of my new insight, and even though it may sound negative, it's actually been one of the most positive, healing experiences of me life. And \u003Ci\u003Ethat's\u003C\/i\u003E what I'm going to share with you today!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-748PRTvEZbI\/XuwddyEIZMI\/AAAAAAAA2PU\/ejeflSu4o44T5ZYczPWfwHaXScvBDbh7wCK4BGAsYHg\/s1080\/Hammock%2Bselfie.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"979\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-748PRTvEZbI\/XuwddyEIZMI\/AAAAAAAA2PU\/ejeflSu4o44T5ZYczPWfwHaXScvBDbh7wCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Hammock%2Bselfie.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou know those boring old platitudes our parents always told us?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"Time flies, just wait and see!\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"Once you have kids of your own you'll know what it's like!\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"Money isn't as important as creating memories.\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\"One day you'll realize that the little moments are what you remember most.\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou know the ones.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThey all are incredibly important statements. But unless you're ready to hear them, \u003Ci\u003Ereally\u003C\/i\u003E hear them, they are just annoying words that don't apply to you.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWhat I'm going to tell you will fall into the same category. I've heard the advice that finally - \u003Cb\u003Emiraculously!\u003C\/b\u003E - sank into me today \u003Ci\u003Edozens\u003C\/i\u003E of times before. I'm a fan of insightful quotes, I've read my fair share of self-help literature, and I count listening to (and heeding!) the advice from our senior citizens as one of my most favourable qualities.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYet, I've never experienced how, by applying a ridiculously simple, yet completely life-changing method, my life could change completely on an ordinary Thursday afternoon, reversing a toxic thought pattern that I've had for 20 years.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThat's exactly what happened today. And I'll lay it all out for you, so you hopefully won't have to drag your emotional baggage around with you for as long as I did.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-NRVXh1L2h1s\/Xuwkr8TFNNI\/AAAAAAAA2Ps\/YQsENICitgMVo3ot0C11WB9Lis8uC0o8QCK4BGAsYHg\/s1440\/Sunshower%2Bmagic.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-NRVXh1L2h1s\/Xuwkr8TFNNI\/AAAAAAAA2Ps\/YQsENICitgMVo3ot0C11WB9Lis8uC0o8QCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Sunshower%2Bmagic.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI learn easiest by examples, so I'm providing you with one to best illustrate the process.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EFebruary 2001: \u003C\/b\u003EMy previous lover hooks up with my sister, with my family's approval, and I'm the last one to find out. A whole bunch of shit happens afterwards, and when they get married in 2002 it seals the deal. \u003Cb\u003EHurt level=through the roof. \u003C\/b\u003E(For more details, click\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/1684016452\/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i1\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ehere\u003C\/a\u003E.)\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EJanuary 2005:\u003C\/b\u003E I marry the love of my life. \u003Cb\u003EI'm happy, yet still bruised. \u003C\/b\u003EFamily is hard.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E2005-2017:\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003EA whole bunch of shit happens, but in a nutshell? \u003Cb\u003EI'm living a life beyond my wildest dreams. \u003C\/b\u003EIt's been fucking hard at times, but the highlights are \u003Ci\u003Eincredible.\u003C\/i\u003E Our love gets stronger with the years. My self esteem grows. Family visits and we find (superficial?) peace. I find a career I'm okay with. I find a dream I'm infatuated with. Life is exciting (still shitty at times, because: \u003Ci\u003Elife\u003C\/i\u003E - but overall: way better than it would ever have been in crummy old Germany).\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E2018: \u003C\/b\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003EI publish \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/1684016452\/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i1\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Emy book\u003C\/a\u003E - \u003Ci\u003E\"the book\"\u003C\/i\u003E - the one I've pinned all my hopes and dreams to for such a long time. \u003Cb\u003EIt's supposed to miraculously heal all my wounds and fill all my gaps. It doesn't do that. \u003C\/b\u003E\u003Ci\u003EHow dare it. *M^\u0026amp;*$CKING\u0026amp;*#$%UCKER\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E2019: \u003C\/b\u003EIs a blur of doing things I never thought I'd do: work away from home for a week at a time; publish a\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/B07TX5QFZ9\/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i1\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Esecond book\u003C\/a\u003E; fall into a pretty severe depression; fall in love with a niece I barely knew, and now love like life itself. \u003Cb\u003E2019 is confusing as shit.\u003C\/b\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E2020: \u003C\/b\u003EThe year where everything changes. For us. \u003Ci\u003EFor the world.\u003C\/i\u003E And for me.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EI start therapy despite one of the strongest cases of German resistance the world has ever seen.\u003C\/b\u003E (And we Germans are \u003Ci\u003Eknown\u003C\/i\u003E for being stubborn). Because I was convinced that I \u003Ci\u003Edid not need it\u003C\/i\u003E. I was living a life far better than most peoples'! I was in love, I had a job I enjoyed, we had no money problems, we had friends - everything should have been perfect.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo what if I was taking antidepressants for 8 years and counting? Didn't everyone?\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo what if there were days where I couldn't get out of bed to face the word? We all felt like that, right?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo what if I was so afraid of people I hid in the house until they left? Screen-called all our calls? Everybody did that, right?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003ERight?\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI was at a loss. Despite all the work I'd done, all the dreams I had fulfilled, everything truly amazing in my life - I was still the little, insecure girl I'd always been. I craved approval of others. I wanted everyone to like me. I wanted to belong -\u003Ci\u003E everywhere\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-CG_-e5thSu8\/XuwuJVLCEEI\/AAAAAAAA2QE\/8HAQD6pnLMAPngvMbYVjzfRPW8LeeGxRACK4BGAsYHg\/s901\/Our%2Bhome%2Ball%2Bcozy.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"526\" data-original-width=\"901\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-CG_-e5thSu8\/XuwuJVLCEEI\/AAAAAAAA2QE\/8HAQD6pnLMAPngvMbYVjzfRPW8LeeGxRACK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Our%2Bhome%2Ball%2Bcozy.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ESo I started talking to a therapist that was recommend to me by a friend whom I already owe, but now owe to eternity. Thank you, Christine!! I love L. \u003Cb\u003EShe's changing my life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHere's what she's been teaching me in a nutshell:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cul\u003E\u003Cli\u003EWe have thousands of thoughts every day. We drop a vast majority of them, never to be thought of again.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003EWe \u003Ci\u003Echoose \u003C\/i\u003Ewhat thoughts we hold on to.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003EIf we hold on to thoughts, they turn into \u003Ci\u003Ebeliefs\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003E\u003Ci\u003EBeliefs\u003C\/i\u003E box us in. They are limited. Beliefs leave \u003Cu\u003Eno room\u003C\/u\u003E for other interpretation, because \u003Ci\u003Ewe already think we know\u003C\/i\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003Ci\u003Ethe truth\u003C\/i\u003E (=we believe).\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003EBeliefs are just thoughts. \u003Cb\u003EWe can choose to let them go.\u003C\/b\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003EIf we've believed something for a very long time (i.e. my belief that everything that's worth achieving needs a lot of hard work and sacrifice), we may believe that it will take just as long to let go of that belief. \u003Ci\u003EThis is \u003Cb\u003Enot \u003C\/b\u003Etrue.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/li\u003E\u003Cli\u003ELiberating yourself from beliefs is easy \u003Ci\u003Eno matter how long you've held them for.\u003C\/i\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/li\u003E\u003C\/ul\u003EThis next point is so important, I took it out from the bullet points.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI didn't get it at first. Or at second, third, fourth... I just got it today, after I've lost count how many times before it failed to sink in.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt doesn't matter. The important fact is that it did, and I \u003Ci\u003Eknew\u003C\/i\u003E, right away.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAll these weeks in therapy, talking about letting things go, I was always worried at the back of my mind: \"Did I really do it? Did it happen? Am I healing?\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EToday there was no question about it. I \u003Ci\u003Eknew\u003C\/i\u003E. Letting go of a betrayal that had cast a shadow over my life for 20 years was just like releasing a breath of air: it was there one minute, gone the next.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ci\u003EIt was fucking insane.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EThis \u003C\/i\u003Eis healing. This is the power of therapy. I'm still me, with my story, my life, my pieces, broken and whole - but there is this person who is helping me to feel completely at ease being me.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EShe is freeing me from my expectations, from society's false expectations, from my old demons. She is teaching me that all my demons are really just thoughts - and it's in \u003Ci\u003Emy\u003C\/i\u003E power to let them go.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI didn't understand my power until today. Now that I got a glimpse, it got me giddy and so high on the possibilities of the rest of my life I feel high - because it was there all along, but \u003Ci\u003EI never knew\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd now I do.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's the greatest gift I've ever gotten.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIf today isn't the day for you to embrace this message, \u003Cu\u003Eplease save it somewhere\u003C\/u\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYour day will come, I promise.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd it will set you free.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/4933825891070087617\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/06\/the-power-of-letting-go-is-yours-if-you.html#comment-form","title":"4 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/4933825891070087617"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/4933825891070087617"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/06\/the-power-of-letting-go-is-yours-if-you.html","title":"The power of letting go is yours - if you want it"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-NMzN7y43pkA\/XuwXNPaEPRI\/AAAAAAAA2O8\/Y35NGNPaWfErpNtMKkrXFqhtxDbHNVo_ACK4BGAsYHg\/s72-c-d\/Country%2Broads.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"4"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-3961364121565557701"},"published":{"$t":"2020-06-08T07:31:00.000-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-06-08T07:31:10.469-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"2020"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"farmlife"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Simple joys in a heavy world"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ZNLnYgPOF5A\/Xt0z_ll-llI\/AAAAAAAA2LU\/q4EYfE1Io7EHe3BceFSlas93qgurZ_ZAgCK4BGAsYHg\/s960\/ATV-Lily.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ZNLnYgPOF5A\/Xt0z_ll-llI\/AAAAAAAA2LU\/q4EYfE1Io7EHe3BceFSlas93qgurZ_ZAgCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/ATV-Lily.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI want to write something light and cheerful about our animals and spring and about how life is delightful. But I feel guilty. Isn't it wrong? Doesn't that diminish the struggle of the black movement? Shouldn't I be more of an activist and demand change? Shouldn't I stop being frivolous?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EInstagram is slowly returning back to \"normal\", meaning that the accounts that didn't post personal content last week in an effort to amplify black voices are posting their own photos again. Predictably, there are people complaining and giving them a hard time. How can they do that when there is still police brutality going on? When there is still injustice and wrongful deaths and so much more work that needs to be done?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHere's the thing: we have to stop blaming each other. In no way do I make light of the struggle so many people face. I'm not saying we should move on with our lives as we did before, ignorant and blind and silent.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm saying we shouldn't stop spreading joy. We can't! \u003Cb\u003EJoy and difficulty can coexist\u003C\/b\u003E - have coexisted as long as the world exists, in fact. If we wait to be light and frivolous until the world is put to rights, we will never be able to be light and frivolous again. And that would be a tragedy!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EGuilt-tripping people for trying their best is not helping anyone. It simply spreads more hate and conflict, and we absolutely don't need more of that.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut you know what we need? More happy animals! Here is a video I took last week of some joy on our farm:\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allow=\"autoplay; fullscreen\" allowfullscreen=\"\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"363\" src=\"https:\/\/player.vimeo.com\/video\/426811480\" width=\"640\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnimals are \u003Cb\u003Eeverything\u003C\/b\u003E. They are uplifting, soothing, relaxing, and they make you smile.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThey also teach you how to enjoy life, because animals truly live in the moment: if it's a sunny, warm day, they enjoy it with full abandon. They don't worry about the next rain storm.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou know who's particularly enjoyable to watch? Cows.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1dKYM1hO0NM\/Xt5DsexRAWI\/AAAAAAAA2ME\/aiL5cAQcsKAqOV5tKAlCL3t8yOEFza5PACK4BGAsYHg\/s1440\/Cows.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"810\" data-original-width=\"1440\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1dKYM1hO0NM\/Xt5DsexRAWI\/AAAAAAAA2ME\/aiL5cAQcsKAqOV5tKAlCL3t8yOEFza5PACK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Cows.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI never saw myself as someone who would\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Raise-Cattle\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eraise cattle\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;one day, but that's life for you; it's full of surprises. They are incredibly soothing to be around. When Rich was so sick in the fall of 2017, I often hunkered down in front of the cows and watched them eat their\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/allhay.com\/timothy-hay\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETimothy hay\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;while quietly sobbing into my hands. The rhythmic chewing would lull me into a kind of trance, helping me forget for a moment that my world was crumbling around me. Cows have beautiful, soulful eyes, and I would stare into them, hoping to find an answer to the question if everything would ever be alright again.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAs you know, it did become alright again! Rich has recovered beautifully, and despite his\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2019\/03\/lyme-disease-update.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ELyme disease\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;being chronic, he is living his best life.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-GI4CIoAH7mA\/Xt5GIkVJGwI\/AAAAAAAA2Mc\/EWYJKsC1C9k5f45HG5_Y_rkGlVjfTB9nwCK4BGAsYHg\/s960\/Farmer%2BRich%2B%25281%2529.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"640\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-GI4CIoAH7mA\/Xt5GIkVJGwI\/AAAAAAAA2Mc\/EWYJKsC1C9k5f45HG5_Y_rkGlVjfTB9nwCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Farmer%2BRich%2B%25281%2529.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAside from the antibiotics and my excellent care (it's true!), the biggest factor in his healing has been his animals. Nothing gives him greater joy than being around his furry and feathered friends. They are what got him out of bed even on his hardest days, and they are what give his life meaning and purpose.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-uyKtnt4Sch8\/Xt5HGdbLJOI\/AAAAAAAA2Mw\/a9COtFfMfYIh0PtrXkd3ZS_8oYKOrpLRwCK4BGAsYHg\/s960\/Miss%2BMaya.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"960\" data-original-width=\"675\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-uyKtnt4Sch8\/Xt5HGdbLJOI\/AAAAAAAA2Mw\/a9COtFfMfYIh0PtrXkd3ZS_8oYKOrpLRwCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Miss%2BMaya.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe same has become true for me. I've been living the\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2013\/05\/farm-girl-problems.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Efarmlife\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;for over 17 years, and I can't imagine another lifestyle. A perfect evening for us is sitting outside in front of the horse and sheep pasture, surrounded by dogs, watching the chickens scratch in the dirt and sipping a drink. Who needs a beach when you can have that?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ef33VL3JV60\/Xt5IHZxkGjI\/AAAAAAAA2NI\/kM-sZIk7xmAYpUOUpZ6n_w8cwlHaZQrwQCK4BGAsYHg\/s960\/Miri%2Band%2Bher%2Bbears.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"596\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ef33VL3JV60\/Xt5IHZxkGjI\/AAAAAAAA2NI\/kM-sZIk7xmAYpUOUpZ6n_w8cwlHaZQrwQCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Miri%2Band%2Bher%2Bbears.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003EThe prospect of not being able to go on vacation hasn't hit us hard at all. Aside from not being able to see our family, we are happy as clams on our little farm. We have everything here we ever wanted: sunshine, clean air, the smell of pine and mountains in the air, and all our beloved animals around us.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe world at large is heavy right now - but our little world is peaceful and full of light.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIt's important for every single person to create a little oasis for themselves. Especially in troubling times we need an escape to relax and recharge.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ECreate your own paradise and go there often! We can only make the world a better place if we are rested and take care of ourselves.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHere's to more light, joy, kindness and acceptance of each other!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci style=\"font-weight: 700;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E "},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/3961364121565557701\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/06\/simple-joys-in-heavy-world.html#comment-form","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3961364121565557701"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3961364121565557701"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/06\/simple-joys-in-heavy-world.html","title":"Simple joys in a heavy world"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ZNLnYgPOF5A\/Xt0z_ll-llI\/AAAAAAAA2LU\/q4EYfE1Io7EHe3BceFSlas93qgurZ_ZAgCK4BGAsYHg\/s72-c-d\/ATV-Lily.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-4926063556927848259"},"published":{"$t":"2020-06-04T17:16:00.010-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-06-05T07:08:56.149-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"2020"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"blog"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"blogging"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"stories"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"writing"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"What's my blog's identity?"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-C8oBpkjwtyo\/XtmJL17w64I\/AAAAAAAA2JA\/PtuPeV6-Ia8MbgF2-czcm4X8xMk3fUPRwCK4BGAsYHg\/s1920\/the-dark-hedges-4094148_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1079\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-C8oBpkjwtyo\/XtmJL17w64I\/AAAAAAAA2JA\/PtuPeV6-Ia8MbgF2-czcm4X8xMk3fUPRwCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/the-dark-hedges-4094148_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003EThe generations after us will groan when the year 2020 comes up in their history lesson. There is so much that's happening this year, there will be entire textbooks devoted just to this year alone.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003ENobody would have believed that there could be anything surpassing Covid-19 in terms of importance, yet 2020 has done it again: we are in the midst of a revolution.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003EThe killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis last week has sparked an outrage all across the globe that may finally bring about the long overdue changes in systemic racism.\u0026nbsp;As a white woman I know little about it, and just like many of you I'm in the process of listening and learning more about racism, the danger of staying neutral and that it's better to speak up and say something stupid than say nothing at all.\u0026nbsp;In fact, as a person with white privilege I'm bound to make mistakes and be insensitive, no matter how well intentioned.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003EWe simply cannot put ourselves into the shoes of someone who is being discriminated against in thousand big and little ways simply because they are not white.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003EBut it's better to make mistakes and learn from them than not wanting to push ourselves at all. We will never become better people by staying in our little comfortable bubbles. That applies to life in general! Growing is painful, but without growth we don't become the best versions of ourselves.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-sPIPSGrp2w8\/XtmFalGdSOI\/AAAAAAAA2Ik\/7P8RlZ3v6xYsaw1yZ3Wr4SSsbgD4mulMACK4BGAsYHg\/s1920\/hand-1917895_1920.png\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1440\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-sPIPSGrp2w8\/XtmFalGdSOI\/AAAAAAAA2Ik\/7P8RlZ3v6xYsaw1yZ3Wr4SSsbgD4mulMACK4BGAsYHg\/d\/hand-1917895_1920.png\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003ESome sources I find very helpful are\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.rachelcargle.com\/\" style=\"text-align: left;\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ERachel Cargle\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E,\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/mspackyetti\/\" style=\"text-align: left;\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBritanny Packnett Cunningham\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E, and the\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blacklivesmatter.com\/\" style=\"text-align: left;\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBlack Lives Matter\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;website\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E. I also check the\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/OccupyDemocrats\" style=\"text-align: left;\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EOccupy Democrats\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;page on Facebook daily, which is focused on reporting on all the atrocities Trump performs daily - needless to say, they are busy!\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003EBut that's all I'm gonna say about this for now, because I'm still in the learning stage.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003EBefore everything happened just over a week ago, when Covid-19 was old news and we were all bored and restless and eager for distractions, I reflected on my blog. Yes, this blog you're reading right now. I wanted to write about it, but I couldn't find the words or the energy.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003EI found both.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003EOne of the things that used to bug me was that I've never had much of a\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.forbes.com\/sites\/jerrymclaughlin\/2011\/12\/21\/what-is-a-brand-anyway\/#4b478fea2a1b\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ebrand\u003C\/a\u003E.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-TRYbv1HPL84\/XtmET0CazoI\/AAAAAAAA2IM\/mA7I6jjR9KEtp9Qy6Bl3VrAbb8aP_BgjgCK4BGAsYHg\/s1080\/100584814_562160331152796_418614461539467397_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-TRYbv1HPL84\/XtmET0CazoI\/AAAAAAAA2IM\/mA7I6jjR9KEtp9Qy6Bl3VrAbb8aP_BgjgCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/100584814_562160331152796_418614461539467397_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EArt by\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/CAoxooUgMiq\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EEmily McDowell\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003EEven after over \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/04\/7-years-of-blogging.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003E7 years of blogging\u003C\/a\u003E, I still don't have one. I'm a true pantser (jargon for writers who fly by the seat of their pants, as opposed to planning their story), and for a long time I tried to train myself to be more disciplined. Even now I still fall into that trap from time to time. When I do I feverishly make myself to-do-lists, set word goals, put up motivational quotes, sign up for e-courses that are all about structuring and outlining and planning, and set my alarm to an hour before I have to get up \"to get my word count in\".\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003EBut you know what? I always \"fail\". Or I would be, if I would\u0026nbsp;allow myself to be defined by those terms. But I don't. And it's fabulously liberating!\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003EI never created a brand because I'm not interested. It's as simple as that. Writing and blogging have one simple purpose to me:\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/blog.hubspot.com\/marketing\/brand-story\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Estorytelling\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003EThat's how it all started, and that's where it all comes back to. I \u003Ci\u003Eadore\u003C\/i\u003E stories. From the time I was a little girl I've preferred listening to stories instead of music. I still do, always listening to an audiobook in my car, rarely turning the radio on.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003ESo when I ponder my blog's future, and I manage to set aside my ego, outside influences and the old comparison trap (which I'm proud to say I've pretty much conquered!), what's left is the essentials. And the simple truth is that as long as I live, I will always want to immerse myself in stories: the ones told by others as well as the ones told by me.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003EMany people believe that blogs are over. Maybe they are - I honestly don't know. I've never in my life been at the pulse of new things happening, so I'm the wrong person to ask. But one thing I know 100% for sure is this: stories will \u003Ci\u003Enever\u003C\/i\u003E be over. We humans crave stories as much as we need air to breathe and water to drink.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003ESo, if you consider to\u0026nbsp;start a blog, \u003Ci\u003Edo it\u003C\/i\u003E. If you already have a blog and want to expand it, go for it! You could open it up to new contributors, something the team at\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/abeautifulmess.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EA Beautiful Mess\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;has been doing for years.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E To make sure that your blog stays consistent and keeps the look you want you can use tools such as templates (\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.templafy.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ehttps:\/\/www.templafy.com\/\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E) to keep a look that's true to you.\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003EIf you want to write poetry, or short stories, or a novel -\u0026nbsp; do it! Stories are \u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/contentmarketinginstitute.com\/developing-a-strategy\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ethe thread that connects us\u003C\/a\u003E, the fabric we can use to weave our stories together that unites us.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-jgVOhOo0VwE\/XtmM3JcX54I\/AAAAAAAA2JY\/0a92J_CXUbYCEUtClDSCew53v9Ns5vfLACK4BGAsYHg\/s1920\/book-2341083_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1285\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-jgVOhOo0VwE\/XtmM3JcX54I\/AAAAAAAA2JY\/0a92J_CXUbYCEUtClDSCew53v9Ns5vfLACK4BGAsYHg\/d\/book-2341083_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003EMy blog doesn't have a brand.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003EI don't know yet exactly what \u003Ci\u003Emy\u003C\/i\u003E identity is.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003EBut I know this:\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003EAll of humanity is united by their stories. We all have similar fears, dreams, wants and needs. We look different, and because of that some of us undergo different, unfair experiences. It sucks. It's wrong. Humanity is flawed.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003EBut there is one thing that can put all of this aside, even if it's just for the duration of a movie or a book or reading at bedtime: and that's a story. During that magical time, we are transported into a world where everything is possible.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003EWill it ever become reality?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003EMaybe not.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003EBut a girl can dream. Stories give us that escape.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003EAnd I know another thing: my blog's identity.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003EIt's a storyteller.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EAll images (unless otherwise specified) found on\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"www.pixabay.com\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPixabay\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv align=\"justify\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/4926063556927848259\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/06\/whats-my-blogs-identity.html#comment-form","title":"8 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/4926063556927848259"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/4926063556927848259"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/06\/whats-my-blogs-identity.html","title":"What's my blog's identity?"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-C8oBpkjwtyo\/XtmJL17w64I\/AAAAAAAA2JA\/PtuPeV6-Ia8MbgF2-czcm4X8xMk3fUPRwCK4BGAsYHg\/s72-c-d\/the-dark-hedges-4094148_1920.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"8"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-1352715591072387891"},"published":{"$t":"2020-05-24T08:47:00.001-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-05-24T08:47:48.210-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Canada"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"happiness"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Midnight in Canada"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-upFEjFAhEq0\/XsqUlG3Q-CI\/AAAAAAAA2F0\/JIGeigBgW3c1y3KxgMy4td5Sq7GcawZcACK4BGAsYHg\/stars-3591280_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1280\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-upFEjFAhEq0\/XsqUlG3Q-CI\/AAAAAAAA2F0\/JIGeigBgW3c1y3KxgMy4td5Sq7GcawZcACK4BGAsYHg\/d\/stars-3591280_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI stepped outside and the mild night air hugged me like a long-lost friend. The balmy breeze was rustling the trees and gently caressing my face. The air was filled with fragrance: lilac, honeysuckle, viburnum. I stood still for a moment, closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. I had a sudden flashback to our last\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2018\/12\/a-week-in-paradise.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EMexico vacation\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;in 2018 - it smelled and felt just like it had in that magical place.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThen I opened my eyes and set off on the short walk towards the twinkling, inviting lights of the hospital I was called to.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIn that moment I was overcome with an intense, overwhelming feeling of contentment and happiness.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIf I could bottle just one memory or emotion, it would be this one golden, shining moment. A moment of utter perfection. It was a moment that made you believe in magic, miracles, and goodness.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-qRyanqW36Bs\/XsqVoxh19uI\/AAAAAAAA2GI\/9Ctl7MRfxbIENbmdOux1gZq8-mceDxnAQCK4BGAsYHg\/photoshop-2845779_1920.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1277\" data-original-width=\"1920\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-qRyanqW36Bs\/XsqVoxh19uI\/AAAAAAAA2GI\/9Ctl7MRfxbIENbmdOux1gZq8-mceDxnAQCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/photoshop-2845779_1920.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI stood there, marveling how I, a naive girl who grew up in a small town in Germany, had ended up here: walking towards a job I adored, at midnight, in a place that felt like the tropics in the midst of my beloved Canada. Tomorrow I would drive back to our little ranch on the winding road along the river that is shared with marmots, mountain sheep and wild horses, bald eagles soaring high above.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI would hug and kiss my husband and my pack of dogs.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI was exactly where I was meant to be. And this was so unlikely, so crazy, that suddenly I knew: magic \u003Ci\u003Eis \u003C\/i\u003Ereal. How else could this have happened?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EBoth images from\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/pixabay.com\/images\/search\/summer%20night%20sky\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPixabay\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/1352715591072387891\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/05\/midnight-in-canada.html#comment-form","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/1352715591072387891"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/1352715591072387891"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/05\/midnight-in-canada.html","title":"Midnight in Canada"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-upFEjFAhEq0\/XsqUlG3Q-CI\/AAAAAAAA2F0\/JIGeigBgW3c1y3KxgMy4td5Sq7GcawZcACK4BGAsYHg\/s72-c-d\/stars-3591280_1920.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-5729431305401755264"},"published":{"$t":"2020-05-20T13:53:00.001-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-05-20T17:50:32.910-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"farmlife"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"making everyday special"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"thankful"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"At peace"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lKy_hl7r6Ew\/XroqAy6euWI\/AAAAAAAA16A\/TuFQ1SwaQ_I-c-fdr0Jh1vJB2iGbdTWUwCK4BGAsYHg\/Driveway.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"2099\" data-original-width=\"3185\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lKy_hl7r6Ew\/XroqAy6euWI\/AAAAAAAA16A\/TuFQ1SwaQ_I-c-fdr0Jh1vJB2iGbdTWUwCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Driveway.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAs soon as I come home I kick off my shoes and my clothes. I put on a flowy dress or cut-off shorts and a light top - no bra, no shoes. The nail polish on my toes is chipped and my legs are bruised, need shaving and have lumps and bumps - but I feel at home in my body.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI open the front door wide to let all the dogs in. While they're nudging my side for ear scratches and lick my hands and play around me I water the plants. I make more nectar for the hummingbirds. I feed my sourdough starter, delighting in its bubbling process of coming to life in front of my eyes.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI prepare dinner for us, finding the cutting of vegetables and seasoning of homegrown meat peaceful in a way I haven't before.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe kitchen is messy, but it's flooded with sunlight. There is a bunch of wild yellow flowers on the kitchen table that I picked on my last hike in the mountains with Lily.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EA mood board I'm working on is lying next to the flowers amidst coloured pencils, scraps of paper, scissors and a stick of glue. I haven't done any drawing and cutting and glueing in over a year, and I enjoy it immensely.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-oNpl5PzJy30\/Xrozf92UblI\/AAAAAAAA16w\/2Mwj_3di5zAE6sKsCu-DRWhAp-v5FZIMwCK4BGAsYHg\/Major%2BTom%2Bon%2Bground%2Bcontrol.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"540\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-oNpl5PzJy30\/Xrozf92UblI\/AAAAAAAA16w\/2Mwj_3di5zAE6sKsCu-DRWhAp-v5FZIMwCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Major%2BTom%2Bon%2Bground%2Bcontrol.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThe air is filled with the intoxicating scent of the lilac bushes that are dotted around our house, pulling us outside at twilight to sit together with a glass of wine, noses up in the air to breathe it all in.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm falling in love with our little polka-dotted mare despite myself. I hug her every day and we work with her, making her slowly trust me.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-2OsSpxYWaII\/XsVuueeI8yI\/AAAAAAAA2EU\/gMnE1pqJYRs8Amn0O7HAW2rWusVGS6QXgCK4BGAsYHg\/93468023_855896458210411_2684708670603864337_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-2OsSpxYWaII\/XsVuueeI8yI\/AAAAAAAA2EU\/gMnE1pqJYRs8Amn0O7HAW2rWusVGS6QXgCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/93468023_855896458210411_2684708670603864337_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI also love Alphonso, our big handsome Andalusian who wouldn't accept even a blanket a month ago, and who now doesn't bat an eye when I awkwardly clamber on to him.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm riding again despite my intention of never riding again, and I'm so grateful for this unexpected gift. Who would have thought?\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1ZFAc03BhkI\/XsWQpGYPfxI\/AAAAAAAA2Es\/kl1NVeH_TUA02ASYKhMVdoWDBILTTIRAQCK4BGAsYHg\/92817646_553951915520561_9005218488946152721_n.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1080\" data-original-width=\"1080\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-1ZFAc03BhkI\/XsWQpGYPfxI\/AAAAAAAA2Es\/kl1NVeH_TUA02ASYKhMVdoWDBILTTIRAQCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/92817646_553951915520561_9005218488946152721_n.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm regularly talking to a therapist. It's amazing. It's the piece that was missing to make me grow up. I'm \u003Ci\u003Echoosing\u003C\/i\u003E to grow up, finally. I'm healing and growing.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm grateful for being here on our little farm, for not being able to go anywhere. Without the pressure of being somewhere else I can now freely put all my mental and physical energy into our place and our animals. We are here fully, present, in the place where we belong.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-azu4L--vjBs\/XrouiZyIFSI\/AAAAAAAA16Y\/0S4eN55eQ2wC8GWHxQzIrGKQYfu4IraJACK4BGAsYHg\/Setting%2Bsun%2Bfarmlife%2Bidyll.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1799\" data-original-width=\"2553\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-azu4L--vjBs\/XrouiZyIFSI\/AAAAAAAA16Y\/0S4eN55eQ2wC8GWHxQzIrGKQYfu4IraJACK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Setting%2Bsun%2Bfarmlife%2Bidyll.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI'm living in the moment, one breath, one mason jar of hummingbird nectar, one meal, one ride at a time.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI am happy.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/5729431305401755264\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/05\/at-peace.html#comment-form","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/5729431305401755264"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/5729431305401755264"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/05\/at-peace.html","title":"At peace"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lKy_hl7r6Ew\/XroqAy6euWI\/AAAAAAAA16A\/TuFQ1SwaQ_I-c-fdr0Jh1vJB2iGbdTWUwCK4BGAsYHg\/s72-c-d\/Driveway.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-6608803620536236572"},"published":{"$t":"2020-05-13T14:07:00.001-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-05-13T14:12:41.190-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"2020"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"kindness"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"thank you"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"you are not alone"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"An act of kindness"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-OPsongvZD2o\/XrxVkgqEWbI\/AAAAAAAA18M\/5ArcJxxZ_zcm_r2YeDeD2pH3PhUZewJtQCK4BGAsYHg\/Mask%2Bextender.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1748\" data-original-width=\"2476\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-OPsongvZD2o\/XrxVkgqEWbI\/AAAAAAAA18M\/5ArcJxxZ_zcm_r2YeDeD2pH3PhUZewJtQCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Mask%2Bextender.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAbout 3 weeks ago I wrote\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/04\/isnt-life-just-kick-you-in-crotch-spit.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ea post\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;about Covid-19, as one does in 2020. I described the things I really like, like the solidarity, no unexpected visitors (best side-effect of sheltering at home \u003Ci\u003Eever\u003C\/i\u003E), and being a hero by staying home and watching Netflix.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EWe all know the downsides, so I won't go into them again, but as an aside I mentioned that wearing a mask for 8 hours straight hurts your ears (which it does, in a surprisingly intense way).\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYou know what happened after I made that one small, almost throwaway comment?\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOne of my readers contacted me and offered to send me some mask extenders she makes herself. Before 2020 these guys didn't even exist as far as I know, but now they are all the rage.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAnd for good reason: mask extenders are\u003Ci\u003E lifesavers\u003C\/i\u003E. Or, to be more exact (and less dramatic), they are ear-savers. I don't know who came up with that idea, but they deserve to have it patented and to get filthy rich. Like all great ideas, this one is extremely simple, but also extremely effective. It makes all the difference between a shitty shift and a shift that may still be difficult, but the rubbed-off skin behind your ears won't be the reason for it.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/span\u003ESo, Kindra contacted me and asked me if I'd like some. I replied with \"yes, please! But let me pay for them!\"\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EKindra said \"absolutely not\". She was happy to help and didn't want anything for it. Then I offered to at least pay for shipping, but again, she declined.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-NV4Z-ETpVV4\/XrxaqnmornI\/AAAAAAAA18k\/JF07IlegqHMI4b1kPXzfYOWSViqB-FrTwCK4BGAsYHg\/Mask%2Bextender%2Bsun.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1753\" data-original-width=\"2545\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-NV4Z-ETpVV4\/XrxaqnmornI\/AAAAAAAA18k\/JF07IlegqHMI4b1kPXzfYOWSViqB-FrTwCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Mask%2Bextender%2Bsun.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EYesterday, a package with a handwritten note and \u003Ci\u003Eten\u003C\/i\u003E face mask extenders arrived. Kindra gave me so many so I can share them with my co-workers. They are pieces of art! Each one is hand-crocheted, in fun colours and with different, unique buttons. I love them!!\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-gtb5GoR4hk0\/XrxdltGcpmI\/AAAAAAAA188\/Ap_6xU4IHfoJmOg8aruRoCbwcJNibv8ZgCK4BGAsYHg\/Buttons.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1638\" data-original-width=\"2886\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-gtb5GoR4hk0\/XrxdltGcpmI\/AAAAAAAA188\/Ap_6xU4IHfoJmOg8aruRoCbwcJNibv8ZgCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Buttons.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThis act of kindness means the world to me. Just imagine: here's a woman who's never met me, living 2,000 miles away, reading a blog post and deciding to offer her skill, time and money to help a stranger. And not just her, but her co-workers as well! No matter how bad this pandemic is, experiences like these make me intensely grateful to be alive, and to live in these times, \u003Ci\u003Eright\u003C\/i\u003E now. They make me grateful to live in a world that, despite its ugliness and darkness, also has so much light and hope to offer.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-DT46C6DS-YM\/XrxfaV12GwI\/AAAAAAAA19U\/zs0QspSJrNYpzagWHj7CpO_iijTqDaOwgCK4BGAsYHg\/Mask%2Bextenders%2Bon%2Bhand.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"2202\" data-original-width=\"3025\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-DT46C6DS-YM\/XrxfaV12GwI\/AAAAAAAA19U\/zs0QspSJrNYpzagWHj7CpO_iijTqDaOwgCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Mask%2Bextenders%2Bon%2Bhand.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EKindra has an amazing online business,\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.alpinecurves.com\/aboutus.asp\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EAlpinecurves\u003C\/a\u003E. She didn't ask me to promote her business, but it's too good not to! She makes outdoor clothes for active, outdoorsy plus-size women, which is great and very much needed. Women who love to go fishing, hiking, biking, skiing, hunting, or any other imaginable outdoor activity come in all shapes and sizes, but the gear for that apparently does not.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EKindra found that there is still a need for inclusive outdoorsy clothes, and she founded her business to help fill that need.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EHer products are beautiful! Take a look\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.alpinecurves.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ehere\u003C\/a\u003E.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EDear Kindra, thank you so, so much. You are a beautiful, generous, loving soul, and I'm so happy and thankful that people like you are amongst us. You make the world a better place.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003Exoxo Miriam\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/6608803620536236572\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/05\/an-act-of-kindness.html#comment-form","title":"6 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/6608803620536236572"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/6608803620536236572"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/05\/an-act-of-kindness.html","title":"An act of kindness"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-OPsongvZD2o\/XrxVkgqEWbI\/AAAAAAAA18M\/5ArcJxxZ_zcm_r2YeDeD2pH3PhUZewJtQCK4BGAsYHg\/s72-c-d\/Mask%2Bextender.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"6"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-7425397099167539848"},"published":{"$t":"2020-05-07T19:46:00.011-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-10-22T18:23:55.190-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"2020"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"covid-19"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"humour"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life lessons"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"The Great Exhaustion"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-I6pf0mgQyuM\/XrSZN649MDI\/AAAAAAAA13E\/npbYoMlEJw8rt9nm80wqHjyNv6I3vJiDwCK4BGAsYHg\/Exhausted%2Bedited.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"761\" data-original-width=\"1108\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-I6pf0mgQyuM\/XrSZN649MDI\/AAAAAAAA13E\/npbYoMlEJw8rt9nm80wqHjyNv6I3vJiDwCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Exhausted%2Bedited.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EIt's day 847 of 2020, and I thought it would be nice to take a walk down memory lane. It's been a whirlwind of a year, hasn't it? So let's take a moment to look back and enjoy!\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cu\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/u\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cu\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EJanuary\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/u\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003ERemember when we almost entered WWIII? Me, neither. It's easy to forget in light of everything else that's happened (we'll get to it in due time, no peeking!), but it was only in January where we almost had war break out between the US and Iran. But then Megxit happened, which was the much-needed distraction we all needed to stop worrying about boring old politics and take a front seat to a much sexier drama: Harry and Megs splitting from the Royals!\u003Cspan\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-oNqi1fONwWA\/XrSiNqQXxgI\/AAAAAAAA13c\/BXr4tAftDys3nyJPNWYj8PbHZiNU1Fb7QCK4BGAsYHg\/Meghan-Markle-and-Prince-Harry-.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"712\" data-original-width=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-oNqi1fONwWA\/XrSiNqQXxgI\/AAAAAAAA13c\/BXr4tAftDys3nyJPNWYj8PbHZiNU1Fb7QCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Meghan-Markle-and-Prince-Harry-.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.cheatsheet.com\/entertainment\/meghan-markle-prince-harry-relationship-in-photos.html\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EImage source\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cspan\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EBut before we could even dig into the second bowl of popcorn, there came the next whammy: the wildfires in Australia. We all saw the heartbreaking photos of Koalas clinging to firefighters as they were being carried out of the burning forest, their homes destroyed forever. Amidst all that tragedy we surely could be forgiven that we missed some news from China: specifically that some people had died of a new, mysterious illness, then named (and promptly forgotten): 2019-nCoV.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EI mean, didn't China have some sort of virus every few years? And there was so much else going on (remember the impeachment trial for Trump? Yes, that happened in January as well) that we didn't pay much attention, because another tragedy hit the news right around that time: Kobe Bryant, his daughter, and a few other, not-famous people died in a helicopter crash.\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003ESo I guess it's understandable that it took us a moment to realize that Wuhan, China, had gone into an unprecedented lockdown. What even \u003Ci\u003Eis\u003C\/i\u003E a lockdown? we asked ourselves vaguely.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EWe were about to find out.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E(Oh, and Brexit happened. But who even cared at this point.)\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cu\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EFebruary\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/u\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EThis year February\u0026nbsp;had an extra day, as if anyone needed it after the \u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/01\/the-neverending-month.html\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Eneverending shitshow\u003C\/a\u003E\u0026nbsp;that was January.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EA bunch of shit went down in the States, like Trump being acquitted.\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EThat weird virus from China wasn't going away. In fact, it had a name now: Covid-19. We started to pay attention.\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EIn fact, we were only moments away from making its acquaintance\u0026nbsp;- intimately.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cu\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EMarch, aka: The Month Where the World Went to Shit\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/u\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ryoS79dm5V4\/XrSlmTEw4XI\/AAAAAAAA130\/ZwyP-AoYlXMVF8DUWPzT2ganH9qFQ4t7QCK4BGAsYHg\/1_4871398.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"575\" data-original-width=\"1020\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-ryoS79dm5V4\/XrSlmTEw4XI\/AAAAAAAA130\/ZwyP-AoYlXMVF8DUWPzT2ganH9qFQ4t7QCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/1_4871398.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EIt's impossible to believe, but there was a time where we didn't know - or \u003Ci\u003Ecare\u003C\/i\u003E - what this odd ball with the red spikes was.\u0026nbsp;\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: small;\"\u003EBefore shit hit the fan we had the brief distraction of the toilet paper wars, which were mostly baffling, but had a definitive undercurrent of worry and anxiety. We were all wondering: what the hell was going on?\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: small;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EOn March 11, the WHO declared the coronavirus a pandemic after it had spread to over 100 countries. Italy was hit hardest after China, and announced a national lockdown, which was unheard of at the time. People kept calling it unprecedented.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E(The word \u003Ci\u003Eunprecedented\u003C\/i\u003E was about to experience a popularity like never before. You might call its popularity - \u003Ci\u003Eunprecedented\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E*Drops mic.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/i\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: small;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EI'm done here.\u003C\/i\u003E)\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: small;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EMarch was the month where we all panicked. We as, the entire\u003Ci\u003E\u0026nbsp;world\u003C\/i\u003E. Which, looking back now is kind of unifying, but at the time felt utterly terrifying. You remember it, right? It was not even two months ago, even though it feels like an entirely different lifetime.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EThe stock market crashed. Not that I comprehend what that means, but I know that it's always followed closely by bankruptcy, unemployment, and desperation. And it happened again this time. Millions of people lost their jobs, or were 'suspended indefinitely'. People were terrified of catching the virus, wrapping themselves into saran-wrap or garbage bags head-to-toe when going out, winding whatever they could find around their heads: bandannas, scarves, coffee filters, female hygiene pads, Halloween masks - people were so terrified to go out in public\u0026nbsp;that\u0026nbsp;they strapped the most bizarre contraptions in front of their faces.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EWe were all told to #stayhome, vacations were cancelled, people started to work from home instead of the office, and stores everywhere started to install plexiglass barriers for their cashiers and implemented rules of staying 6 feet apart.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cu\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EApril\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/u\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EIn the beginning there were still jokes. The introverts of the world rejoiced. Many of us breathed sighs of relief at the stay-at-home orders, at the sudden impossibility of the dreaded unannounced visitor. We also quite enjoyed the social distancing rule, something we quietly longed for all of our lives.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EJust as a side note: I'm strongly in favour of continuing social distancing, and staying six feet apart at the grocery store, indefinitely. It's the civilized thing to do.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-sYyvS7Eaozg\/XrSuHlDGH-I\/AAAAAAAA14M\/BfSBR3xHt7UCUQHn1Utfzvr7EALBIRgsACK4BGAsYHg\/Mask%2Bsisters.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"960\" data-original-width=\"960\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-sYyvS7Eaozg\/XrSuHlDGH-I\/AAAAAAAA14M\/BfSBR3xHt7UCUQHn1Utfzvr7EALBIRgsACK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Mask%2Bsisters.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EBut as the death toll rose and people started to go crazy being stuck at home, the tone changed.\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EBeing scared all the time was exhausting.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EDisinfecting, cleaning, washing hands, worrying about what you had touched - \u003Ci\u003Edid I sanitize after leaving the store?\u003C\/i\u003E - \u003Ci\u003Edid I wipe down all the groceries before putting them away?\u003C\/i\u003E -\u0026nbsp; was exhausting.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EWorrying about money when you were out of work was exhausting.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EHaving the kids at home and suddenly having to home-school was exhausting.\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EWorking with a mask, goggles, gloves, and a gown on was exhausting.\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EStripping down on your doorstep, throwing your clothes in the washer, and having a shower before you could even hug your loved ones was exhausting.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EAll our immediate and future plans were cancelled. While we hoped at the beginning of the month to reunite with family for Easter, we were soon faced with the daunting possibility that we might not even see them at Christmas.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cu\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EMay\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/u\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EWe have now entered Conspiracy-Central.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lBbFH54mVDk\/XrS6TPMUUgI\/AAAAAAAA14k\/8NPRMs-Hmhkj5XPeWcPjybmA63yiShTawCK4BGAsYHg\/Ready%2Bto%2Bbattle%2BCovid-19.jpg\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"960\" data-original-width=\"743\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-lBbFH54mVDk\/XrS6TPMUUgI\/AAAAAAAA14k\/8NPRMs-Hmhkj5XPeWcPjybmA63yiShTawCK4BGAsYHg\/d\/Ready%2Bto%2Bbattle%2BCovid-19.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EPeople are getting crazy, which is understandable. We have crossed 6 weeks (closing on 8 in some parts) of being quarantined\/social distancing\/working under extreme measures, and it shows. We are all exhausted. We can't deal with the reality that the world as we've known it is being irrevocably gone. We'll probably never get it back. We are disillusioned\u0026nbsp;and disappointed, and we need a scapegoat. Which is perfect timing, because look at this: there are all these fun and exciting videos out now that are just what the doctor ordered! But just so you know, you have to watch them quickly, because the government\/FBI\/Facebook\/Big Brother will shut them down within 24 hours, so it's vital that you watch \u003Ci\u003Eright this minute\u003C\/i\u003E and share it as much and widely as you can!\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EI'm not getting into the debate on all the crazy conspiracies, but here's my take: if a video \"is only around for 24 hours\", it's probably not legit. Just my opinion.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EI get it, though. I get the desperate search for answers that may lead you down some questionable allies. This has been the most wacko year in living history. We want someone\u0026nbsp;to tell us what's what, and most importantly, \u003Ci\u003Ewhen it will all end\u003C\/i\u003E. The not-knowing is playing tricks on all of us. And it wears us out.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EI'm fucking exhausted. And I know that you are, too, because I'm talking about this with everyone I meet, and after reassuring each other of how lucky we are (we are still alive\/well\/have work\/have insurance\/are living with people in quarantine\u0026nbsp;we don't want to stab), we all have one overwhelming\u0026nbsp;emotion\u0026nbsp;in common: we are \u003Ci\u003Etired\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EIf you want to sum up 2020 in 3 words, it's this: \u003Cb\u003EThe Great Exhaustion\u003C\/b\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EWe are tired. Not only do we face an uncertain future, but we're also confronted with the manically cheerful crowd that insists that we use this time \"as an opportunity to grow, and to learn new skills, and to use the free time to chase our dreams!\", which is the last thing any of us has energy for.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EIt's hard enough to muster the motivation to crawl out of bed in the morning, let alone learn how to do a cross-stitch. Despite what social media tries to tell us, we are \u003Ci\u003Enot \u003C\/i\u003Eobligated to learn the skills of a Michelin-starred chef, become obscenely fit, or start a successful sideline business while still baking bread and mastering the latest TikTok dance. This expectation is insanity, and very unhealthy.\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003EWe are in a crisis\u003C\/b\u003E. It may feel like we're doing way less than normal, but the stress and uncertainty take a toll. We are exhausted because \u003Ci\u003Eit is exhausting\u003C\/i\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"text-align: left;\"\u003E\u003Cfont size=\"2\"\u003EUncertainty\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003Cfont size=\"2\"\u003E\u0026nbsp;is highly stressful.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EWorrying all the time is stressful.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003ENot knowing\u0026nbsp;when - \u003Ci\u003Eif?\u003C\/i\u003E - life\u0026nbsp;will ever return to what we perceived as normal, is stressful.\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EIf you're stress-eating right now, or drinking more than usual, or smoking weed from dawn till dusk, or watching silly movies 24\/7 - it's okay. These are extraordinary\u0026nbsp;times, and the last thing we need right now is someone telling us one more thing we *should* be doing.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EOur job right now is to survive, pure and simple. Everything on top of that is a bonus, not a\u0026nbsp; requirement.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EWe are in the midst of the Great Exhaustion, and our only goal is to make it through that.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003EOne nap at a time.\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont face=\"inherit\" size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cfont size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cfont size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cfont size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/font\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cfont size=\"2\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/font\u003E\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003E\u003Cfont size=\"2\"\u003EInstagra\u003C\/font\u003Em\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/7425397099167539848\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/05\/the-great-exhaustion.html#comment-form","title":"4 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/7425397099167539848"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/7425397099167539848"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/05\/the-great-exhaustion.html","title":"The Great Exhaustion"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-I6pf0mgQyuM\/XrSZN649MDI\/AAAAAAAA13E\/npbYoMlEJw8rt9nm80wqHjyNv6I3vJiDwCK4BGAsYHg\/s72-c-d\/Exhausted%2Bedited.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"4"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532204237192804954.post-3562520054626808794"},"published":{"$t":"2020-05-03T18:54:00.004-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-10-22T18:29:01.901-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life lessons"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"people I admire"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"strong women"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"I wanna be like Ruth Langmore "},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-qfk3nS6RxxE\/Xq9TAl7_woI\/AAAAAAAA12o\/BFzLsUW2hpwBAwwfzvIvg7XoJPX-XJIwQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1600\/ozark-ruth-2.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"431\" data-original-width=\"646\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-qfk3nS6RxxE\/Xq9TAl7_woI\/AAAAAAAA12o\/BFzLsUW2hpwBAwwfzvIvg7XoJPX-XJIwQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1600\/ozark-ruth-2.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI've finished watching \u003Ci\u003EOzark\u003C\/i\u003E yesterday, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Or to be more precise: I can't stop thinking about the tough, fast-talking, smart and taking-no-prisoners Ruth Langmore.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003EThat girl is incredible. She is tiny, had more than a few hardships in her young life, and has a name that closes way more doors than it opens. But despite all that, she's far from giving up. On the contrary, she has a fire burning inside her that makes her fight for her place in the world (and for those she loves) with a ferocity that's nothing short of mesmerizing. I hope very much that there will be a 4th season coming, but until it does, let's look at some of Ruth's best qualities, shall we?\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E1. Her loyalty\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIf Ruth Langmore is your friend, she's your friend for life. Unless you royally screw her over (I'm looking at you, Wendy Byrde), she will rather kill your enemies than betray you. Even being water-boarded by a Mexican drug cartel can't shake her loyalty. That girl has \u003Ci\u003Eguts\u003C\/i\u003E.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E2. Her love\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ERuth doesn't love easily, but when she does, it's deep. She loves her no-good, often-cruel father Cade, visiting him regularly in jail, getting him and decorating a trailer so he has his own space, and always being there for him, even if it's for one of his harebrained petty crimes.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EShe also fights like a fierce mama bear for her cousin Wyatt, going to his high school principal despite personal humiliation to make him take him back, being on Wyatt's case to do his homework, and saving her money for his college tuition.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EOnce she falls in love with Ben, she is in 100%. So much so that after his death she cuts her ties with the Byrdes, to whom she has been fiercely loyal until then.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E3. Her fearlessness\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ERuth may be tiny, but she is fearless. She not only faces up to the aforementioned Mexican drug cartel, she also tells FBI agent Petty that his proposal \"sounds like go fuck yourself.\"\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThen, in season 3 she throws the spoiled and obnoxious mob-son Frank Jr. off the 2nd deck of the Casino riverboat where he just behaved like the stupid, loud-mouthed dumb ass he is.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ETo top it off, she walks away from the Byrdes after finding out that Wendy just had her own brother, Ruth's boyfriend Ben, killed. I'll say it again: that girl has guts.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-GiTsbGg6uMg\/Xq9tk78J34I\/AAAAAAAA12w\/ruZTCzH7OVUJgc6c_cP1E2eFVgh8mSRDgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1600\/ruth-langmore-from-ozark-teaches-you-how-to-be-a-criminal-in-hilarious-video-social.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"844\" data-original-width=\"1500\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-GiTsbGg6uMg\/Xq9tk78J34I\/AAAAAAAA12w\/ruZTCzH7OVUJgc6c_cP1E2eFVgh8mSRDgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1600\/ruth-langmore-from-ozark-teaches-you-how-to-be-a-criminal-in-hilarious-video-social.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: x-small;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003EImage found\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.cougarboard.com\/board\/message.html?id=23097387\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ehere\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E4. Her bravery\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ERuth didn't finish high school ( I think? Didn't that come up in her confrontation with the principal?).\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut even if she did, getting offered the position of managing a business (in this case a strip club) is really scary when you're only 19 years old. You can tell that she is scared, but she quickly covers it and accepts - and rises \u003Ci\u003Emagnificently\u003C\/i\u003E to the occasion.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E5. Her optimism\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ERuth Langmore has had nothing but bad luck in her life. From her mom dying, to her low-life, not-smart family, to her bad reputation in town thanks to her name, the odds are very much not in her favour. But Ruth isn't someone who feels an ounce of self-pity or who gives up, ever. She believes in Wyatt's brains, and her toughness, and in the power of work and determination. I just love how she always keeps fighting on.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E6. Her quick wit\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThat girl has some of the best one-liners! Her comebacks are iconic, and I found this great compilation of some of her best ones for you to enjoy:\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ciframe allowfullscreen=\"\" class=\"YOUTUBE-iframe-video\" data-thumbnail-src=\"https:\/\/i.ytimg.com\/vi\/ZdYDaWesCNE\/0.jpg\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"266\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/ZdYDaWesCNE?feature=player_embedded\" width=\"320\"\u003E\u003C\/iframe\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E7. She never shows weakness\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EThis one speaks deeply to my own weakness. Whenever someone attacks me, I'm inclined to listen and agree. Not Ruth. When people are trying to attack her, she cuts them right off and attacks back.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EExample: When Marty is about to blame her for the slot machine scam at the Big Muddy, Ruth fires right back: \"No, \u003Ci\u003Eno\u003C\/i\u003E. How about instead of shitting on me, you get your own house in order. And until you do, how about you FUCK.OFF! Alrighty?\"\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBravo, girl, \u003Cb\u003E\u003Ci\u003Ebrav-fucking-vo\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E8. Her humbleness\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003ERuth is smart as a whip, but she doesn't know it. In fact, she repeatedly says that Wyatt is the smart one in the family, and that she isn't nearly as smart as him. Seeing how quickly she has learnt how to manage a strip club, not to mention everything that goes into money laundering, it's safe to say that Ruth Langmore is one smart cookie. She may not know it, but she truly is the brains of the Langmore family.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E9. She has a strong sense of right and wrong\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EI know I know, she hot-wired the dock and subsequently murdered her uncles.\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EBut, she did it for the right reasons. She had found out that her uncle had betrayed them by being an informant for the FBI, and she was already loyal to Marty for giving her a job and a chance.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EAccording to Ruth's honour code, she had no other choice. It was painful for her, but it was the only option she had.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Cspan style=\"font-size: large;\"\u003E\u003Cb\u003E10. She is deeply vulnerable\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/span\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EDespite her tough exterior, Ruth is as vulnerable as we all are. Everything she does, she does with a passion: love, hate, pursuing a goal, being loyal, sticking up for the people she trusts.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003EIn fact, her loyalty makes her one of the most vulnerable characters of the show, but her toughness makes her such a formidable character that she is, in my mind, the strongest, most empowering female heroine in recent TV history. I love and admire her endlessly.\u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp; \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: justify;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003ETop photo found\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/decider.com\/2020\/03\/28\/ozark-season-3-ruth-casino-boat-throw\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003Ehere\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\u003Ci\u003E\u003Cb\u003E\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.bloglovin.com\/blogs\/farm-girl-11685661\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EBloglovin'\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MiriamVerheyden\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ETwitter\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EInstagram\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmgirlmiriam\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EFacebook\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u003Ca href=\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/farmgirlmiriam\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003EPinterest\u003C\/a\u003E.\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/b\u003E\u003C\/i\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/feeds\/3562520054626808794\/comments\/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/05\/i-wanna-be-like-ruth-langmore.html#comment-form","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3562520054626808794"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/1532204237192804954\/posts\/default\/3562520054626808794"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.farmgirlmiriam.ca\/2020\/05\/i-wanna-be-like-ruth-langmore.html","title":"I wanna be like Ruth Langmore "}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Miriam"},"uri":{"$t":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/profile\/07553429775991816622"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-tCvbTM1stog\/VAnu0gWKuLI\/AAAAAAAAQTE\/FTXObR_0d3I\/s220\/PS%2B8.jpg"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-qfk3nS6RxxE\/Xq9TAl7_woI\/AAAAAAAA12o\/BFzLsUW2hpwBAwwfzvIvg7XoJPX-XJIwQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s72-c\/ozark-ruth-2.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"2"}}]}});