Embarrassing truths

I’m a huge fan of hearing/reading about other people’s little mishaps. Not because I want to laugh at them, I want to laugh with them! (At least that’s my story and I’m sticking with it.)

No, the real reason is that I love me some self-deprecating humour. People who don’t take themselves too seriously are my people. I have a couple IRL* friends that have that sort of humour and I adore them for it.

*in real life (just learned that one and need to show off with my newly acquired slang)

In the Blogosphere there are some wickedly funny ladies as well, let me introduce you to 4 of my faves:

Ree Drummond, aka The Pioneer Woman. Does this lady need an introduction? I think not. She is blog royalty. I just love her life. They live on a huge ranch, and her posts about ranch life make me yearn for cattle, wild mustangs, and thousands of acres of land. And omg, does she have a wicked sense of humour! Here are two examples: Skiing Alone (today's post) and All I Wanted Was a Doughnut. But honestly, all her posts are like that. Check her out!

Amanda from The Lady Okie is always hilarious, and can laugh at herself. That's a 5-star quality in my book! Case in point: her Awkward and Awesome series. Have a look, it’s awesome (+awkward – see what I did there?)!

Then there is Amber from Forever Amber. Oh, how I love that girl! She is a fashion blogger who has such a way with words – I find myself bursting out loud with laughter on a regular basis when I read her blog. Here is just one example: Walk this way.

She is the queen of self-deprecation!

My first blogger crush was Mona from Chipped Nails and Chapped Lips. Read this post New Hair and you will understand why.

These witty ladies are my inspiration. I want to be funny like them. So I thought to myself: “Miriam, you can’t be the only one who laughs at with other people’s embarrassing stories. Share some strange truths of your own for the entertainment of others.”

I almost posted this without a single picture. That's a big no-no!
This one seemed appropriate.

Since I listen to a proper pep talk (not when others give them, obviously, but when I do it myself), here are 5 embarrassing things I do on a regular basis.

Probably right now.

1. Pulling my underwear up in public. Well, let me explain that to you. Due to my bootylicious/junk in the trunk/bubble butt and an aversion to buying underwear, I don’t have very many panties that fit properly. Combine that with scrub pants and you have a recipe for disaster: the dreaded wedgie. I hate wedgies. Can’t stand it even for a minute – they need to be pulled up and out rightthissecond. Sometimes, there isn’t enough time to go look for a private spot to do it. So the hallway/exam room/middle of the street has to do, and I’m simply hoping that nobody will watch me. But they have. Sorry about that. However, I don’t see this changing any time soon.

2.  I eat everywhere. Between patients at work, in front of the computer, in our main work area, in the car, while I’m walking, in the bathroom… I mean, literally everywhere.

I actually don’t enjoy sitting on the table and taking my time. Too antsy. I wolf down food like my life depends on it. And I’m a sloppy eater: I like to talk, and a little obstacle like food in my mouth won’t stop me. Beware of flying crumbs!

3. I eat off the floor. I am very comfortable with germs. Meaning, I'm the opposite of a germaphobe, which is (I googled it) - a germophile (according to the Urban Dictionary, which means it's a solid fact). It sounds ominous. Any word with phile at the end sounds vile, doesn't it? But germs just don't bother me. I know they exist, but I grew up with the adage that "some dirt is healthy", and I can't change that attitude. Even though I work in a hospital. The 5-second rule is a real thing in my mind, and I live by it. #sorrynotsorry

4. I never flip my mattress. Or rotate my tires. To be completely honest here, I did not know that you are supposed to flip your mattress. We talked about it at work one day and I was quite surprised to learn that this is something people do. I knew about the tires, but hey - it's a man's job. Since Richard doesn't deem it necessary, neither do I.

5. My common knowledge is pretty much non-existent. This is something that bothers me a bit, but not enough to change it. Don't ask me who our mayor is. Or anything politics-related. All I know is that Stephen Harper is our Prime Minister, but I had to do a quick google search to confirm that he is a Conservative. I know nothing about sports. Names are my natural nemesis, so don't mention a name (any name, really) and expect me to know who that person is. I won't. 
I have a generalized interest in history, but get facts and dates confused all the time. 
Since I don't read the newspaper I'm always in the dark about the latest catastrophes, murders, or scandals. Except celebrity scandals - I know those! Priorities. 

Yup, that's it. These came shockingly easy, and I could have listed at least another 5 points, but I can only take so much embarrassment on one day. 

How about you? Any embarrassing truths you want to share? (Please, please don't let me hanging here.) Do so in the comments!

Happy humpday from this (only slightly) red-faced

Farm Girl


Linking up with Kat from Vodka and Soda today!

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