Monday, 25 May 2015

Family comes in many forms

Dogs playing.

I have just finished the last episode of Drop Dead Diva on Netflix, and as you know, whenever that happens you feel bereft. Especially since I know there is at least one more season out there, it just hasn't made it to Netflix yet. Gawd, what did we do before Netflix? I'm sure life had more meaning.

Anyway, one of the plotlines of that last episode had to do with an Amish client and his shunned son. The son fell in love with a non-Amish girl during rumspringa and left his Amish community to live with her, being excluded from his family as a consequence. It got me thinking about families, and to what lengths we would go for love.  

My furry Corgi daughter and me.

Families don't just come in one version. You don't have to be related by blood to feel related to someone; if you love someone unconditionally, you are family.

My German family story is not one filled with stars and fire works; it is flawed, like all family stories.

Mason jar magic
Chickens by the pond

But together with my husband, we have created our own little peace of heaven.
We have this idyllic little spot of paradise here, with our own family that is compiled of many furry, feathered members who we love to hang out with in our spare time. 

Proud peacock
Corgi and chick
Corgi and chick
Peacock chick
This is one of our latest members of the family, a little peacock chick. She was a bit freaked out by Lily's close inspection, and ran as fast as her little feet would carry her to mom. 
Peahen and her babies
"Come back to safety, little one!"
peahen and her babies
And off they went.
"What? I just wanted to smell her."
Collie and Corgi
I love my furry children. 
Great Pyrenees
Blue Heeler puppy
Look how big Miss Nina is getting! She's 14 weeks old now.
Hammock magic

It's a magical place where chickens hang out with dogs, and where a boy and a girl love each other very much. (I have been listening to Taylor Swift nonstop for the last two hours, so please excuse my sappiness. It's her fault.) 

If relationships in your life aren't how you would like them to be, here is one thing I have learnt: You can't force someone to love you. If they don't, there is nothing in the world you can do to change that. However, you are not powerless. Be the kindest you you can be, create your own happy circle, and gain strength and happiness from that.
Maybe they will come to you one day; and if not, be grateful for the people (and animals) in your life that love you, and love them right back.


Saturday, 23 May 2015

Identity crisis

Guys, I don't know who I am any more. Well, Farm Girl doesn't know. I have lost my voice, my purpose, my spark for this lovely little blog of mine. And it's breaking my heart a little. 
You know how women who want to become pregnant see babies and pregnant ladies everywhere? I see advice about "finding your purpose", "develop your brand", "have a vision and follow through" for blogs everywhere. And I have none of these things. Gah!!

For the longest time blogging was easy. I would wake up bursting with ideas and energy, barely able to contain my excitement. I learnt that I really liked photography, and could spend hours taking pictures, editing them, and posting them here. I loved to share bits and pieces of our farmlife. I still do, even though I have been doing less of it lately.

So what is the problem? I have been thinking it over for a while and came to several conclusions.

1. My blog is too structured.
This may be laughable for bloggers who adhere to schedules and timetables, write posts weeks in advance and have certain days for certain topics. I have given it a long, hard try, but it doesn't work for me. At the beginning of the year I announced this schedule:

I really tried to stick to it in the beginning. However, turns out that a schedule doesn't work well for me. The How to-series was the first feature to bite the dust; it only lasted a month.
Now, after a lot of thought, I have decided to let the link-up and my weekly fashion posts go as well.
Thank you all so very much for linking up over the last 5 months, you have no idea how much I appreciate it! 

But blogging has been less of a joy and more of a chore for me for a while, and I don't want to lose it, I love it too much. So I'm freeing myself of all self-imposed rules, and return to posting whenever the mood strikes.

2. I'm too focused on labels. 
I have been labelling myself, or trying to find labels, and it's stifling my creativity.
Labels have always been a problem for me: as much as I try to resist the temptation, I can't help but try to organize life into neat little boxes. Am I a writer? I want to be, I am writing most days, so per definition I should be one. But what if you are a bad one? What if it's so bloody hard some days that you curse and complain and procrastinate, and keep talking about fulfilling dreams, but not doing the actual tedious work?
What if you like photography, but you do nothing to further your skills? You are stuck, and you know it, but you don't do anything about it.
What if you try to find a niche for your blog, try to narrow your focus, but you get so wrapped up in this hopeless task that you stop posting altogether?
I wish I could have a more defined focus, but I don't. So until I do, I will keep doing what I have been doing before the schedule: Write about whatever I feel like, whenever I feel like it.

3. I'm overthinking this.
No surprise here, I have been, once again, gotten stuck in my own head. I'm a fairly emotional person, and this has been weighing on me for a while, bringing me down - it's actually a huge relief to type all my thoughts out. I feel better already!

I may not have solved my identity crisis, but at least I have gotten rid of the stifling schedule. What does Kino always say:
"Don't orient towards the goal, orient towards the journey, you'll find your peace along the way."

Have a beautiful weekend my beautiful friends!

Thursday, 21 May 2015

An ode to the awesomeness of small breasts


Let me tell you a little story:
It was summer, I was 17 and I had the time of my life: I was in the south of France with my school class for ten days. We did a lot of sightseeing and educational stuff, but on day five we all went to the beach. I had bought a new bikini for the occasion, and felt pretty good: tanned, happy and only moderately self-conscious. Until I noticed the boys standing around, snickering and repeatedly looking in my direction. “What’s your problem?” I called out to them. They laughed some more, and then one of them shouted back: “You forgot your boobs!”

It sure looked like it. You see, I had been waiting patiently for my boobs to grow ever since I was 14. Since they stubbornly refused, I did what any girl would do: Bought a few push-up bras and faked it. This worked just fine, until that day at a beach in France: I had made the tactical error of not buying a push-up bikini. My usually C-cup looking breasts were on display in their natural A-cup size, and the boys had noticed.

Needless to say, I was mortified. I cursed teenage boys, the boob-growing gods for failing me, my genes, and my own stupidity in the bikini-buying department. How could I not have foreseen this?
It took me several more years, but in the end I made peace with my small breasts. Not only that, in the last decade I have grown extremely fond of them and their manageable size.

With summer upon us and boobiliciousness on display everywhere, I thought it's important for us small-chested girls to remind ourselves of the many advantages we have compared to our more well-endowed sisters.

So I compiled a list of 20 reasons why small boobs are awesome:

1. No boob sweat.
2. You ace the pencil test every time.
3. Bras? Who needs them?
4. Then again, if an outfit requires some cleavage, you can create the illusion with a push-up bra. Hopefully, teenage boys are not part of your daily life to point out the lack of breasts when you take the bra off – and if they are, you are now confident enough to tell them to shut up. 
5. Sleeping on your stomach is not only possible, but comfortable.
6. Gravity is not your enemy. 
(This will never be you.)

7. You can run without being hit in the face.
8. Ditto for horseback riding: No fear of being knocked out by your own boobs.  
9. Handstands. 
10. Men will notice your pretty eyes since they are not being distracted by something more interesting farther south.
11. No back pain caused by heavy breasts.
12. If you don’t want to look sexual, you won’t. Keep your push-up bra in the drawer for the day and you are fine.
13. You can wear button-down shirts without having to fear the dreaded button gap.
14. You can wear backless dresses.
15. Same goes for triangle bikini tops: no support, no problem.
16. You never have to worry about the shirt mullet, created by big boobs causing a top to be shorter in the front than the back.
17. Small breasts are never in the way when exercising.
18. If you spill food, it won’t land on your shirt, but falls straight down (or, if you are me, on your white pair of jeans).
19. From the waist up you look petite, even if you are not.
20. Trampolines are fun!

Ladies, show off your girls with pride, no matter the size! We are all beautiful.