I drive up to the gate, put the car in park, and get out.
Inadvertently, my gaze is drawn to that house. My heart starts beating faster, and I feel my palms getting wet.
I quickly look away and busy myself opening the gate. "Stay calm," I mutter under my breath.
"Breathe."I take a cleansing yogic breath that doesn't do a thing to calm me down, climb back into the car, drive through, stop, get out and close the gate.
The goats are greeting me as they always do, and my panic rises. Are they louder than usual? They're too loud, aren't they? People will hear! Omg, what am I gonna do? What if they will complain again?
I drive down the driveway in a panic. Rich is there, watering the horses, and I jump out of the car and race up to him, shouting, "I can't do this! We have to sell the goats! It's too much, I can't do this anymore!"
Without waiting for reply I turn around, run into the house, collapse onto my bed and promptly burst into tears.