Friday, 31 August 2018

Best (and worst) of August

August was intense. I started my new job, lived in a hotel for a week, moved into what I thought would be my permanent part-time home, only to move out of it 8 days later (more about that below). We went from a blistering 40 degrees Celsius for the first half of the month to barely hitting 15 in the second half. There was a (thankfully small and easily contained) fire close to our house.
We decided to quit the guinea pig business and sold all of them. I started book #2 in earnest.
Rich had a cold for a week and lost his voice. I started boxing. It was a lot!

Here is my 1-second-a-day video:

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Tuesday, 28 August 2018

Feeling more alive


I sit outside, back against a tree, eyes closed, face lifted up towards the sun. I breathe in deeply the wonderful smell of warm pine needles, late summer, and the first hint of fall in the air. 
The smoke is gone. After weeks of obscured skies, hazy horizons, the sun tinged red, and the constant smell of fire in the air, it feels like a miracle to breathe fresh air again. 
Having this half hour of solace and peace is like a warm blanket wrapped around my shoulders on a cold day. I'm feeling smaller and more vulnerable than usual, and the sun is not only warming my skin, but also my soul.   

I'm smack in the middle of my 9(!) days away from home, having said goodbye to Rich and the dogs only hours earlier, and as I'm learning, this is the worst day of the week for me. After having braved the first half of my time away quite well, seeing him and the dogs for a way too short time before they leave again just reminds me of how much I miss them. It's true what they say: absence makes the heart grow fonder, and my heart is a big, mushy pile of fondness and longing.
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Wednesday, 22 August 2018

Thelma and Louise

It's been said to "never say never", and this saying has never been truer in my life than it is now.
I am a dog person. 100% team dog, no cats for me, no, siree, dogs all the way. Over the years people would occasionally ask why we don't have cats, and I was always quick to point out that "we don't like them".  Which I believed to be the truth.

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Saturday, 18 August 2018

The magic of the Internet

I was never a person with many friends. In fact, my (perceived) lack of friends was my number 1 worry for all of my childhood, teenage years, and early/middle (is that what you call your twenties and early thirties?) adulthood. I was never completely friend-less; but I always worried about 
a) the ones I had leaving me 
b) I should have more friends
c) not having the "right" (aka "cool") friends
d) being a bad friend, because I'm a terrible person
e) ending up alone. 
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Thursday, 16 August 2018

Say my name

A name is powerful. It's part of our identity, it makes us feel recognized, and knowing other people's names makes us feel more comfortable in their presence. If you've ever been in a trauma room with a dozen nurses, doctors, paramedics, respiratory therapists, x-ray techs, and a bunch of others and you try to coordinate who is doing what, you know that it's exceedingly difficult to do that when you don't know people's names. Trust me, I speak from experience.

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Tuesday, 14 August 2018

What is home?


I walk in, and all I notice is the institutionalized wall colour (you know the one), the fluorescent lights, and a sea of strange faces. Old me would have hidden behind her desk for as long as possible, talking little, always the new girl, even after a year of employment. 
But I'm determined to make the most of this experience, so I tell my introverted self to put her big girl panties on, take a deep breath, and venture out. 
I'm doing what I said in my interview I would: I'm approaching people and introduce myself. I'm wearing my name badge, because isn't it so much easier to remember a name when you've seen it written down? 
And without a fail, everybody smiles and welcomes me warmly. My heart lifts.
Once I'm back at my desk I write down all the new names with a brief description, so I will learn them quicker. 
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Friday, 10 August 2018

The town of deer

I wake up and pull the dogs close, showering them with kisses and hugging them a little bit too hard. 
I also hug Rich a little bit too hard, a few times too often, until he pushes me away gently and tells me, "dragging it out won't make it any easier. You have to go now." He is right, of course, but when I turn away for the final time I have to take several deep breaths to prevent myself from crying. I lift my blue suitcase into my trunk, give Lily a last kiss on the nose, and then I start the car. I slowly make my way up the driveway, watching the foals gallop around the field, tails high up in the air and loving life. I fill up the goats' water bucket, wave goodbye at them and then I'm really off. It's 5:45 in the morning.
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Tuesday, 7 August 2018

The best days of our lives haven't happened yet

I'm floating down the river, with blue sky and sunshine above me, my friends and family around me, and the eagles soaring quietly above us, much closer than they are on land. I'm feeling so content and at peace that I can't contain myself, and I shout out to anyone who's close enough to listen: "This is the happiest day of my life!" My sister yells back, "I feel the same way!", and the joy I feel about sharing this special moment with her is indescribable. 
Later that day we will ride in the back of our pick-up truck, warm wind blowing in our hair, holding on tight to the tubes so they don't fly away, shrieking with laughter and excited for that night's barbecue, bonfire, and birthday celebration in honour of my love.
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Wednesday, 1 August 2018

Best (and worst) of July

July felt like a long month - maybe because quite a few (little) things happened? Instead of my usual monthly round-up, I decided to write this post diary-style, with lots of photos.

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