Tuesday, 11 September 2018

Keep at it

I got it all wrong. 
I thought that achieving the goal was the key to the happily ever after. 
I thought that after hustling and working hard and hustling some more, getting some rest and relaxation would be the sweetest feeling in the world. 

Wednesday, 5 September 2018

She Shed tour!

I'm so excited to finally share a few photos of my beautiful She Shed with you guys! 
Almost a year ago I announced that I convinced Rich to build me my own little cabin. I envisioned it to be a mix between a tiny house, Canadian lake cabin, and whimsical fairy house. The end result is a collaboration between Rich's, the carpenters', and my vision, and it far surpasses all my expectations!

Tuesday, 4 September 2018

Our Enneagram types

Have you guys ever done an Enneagram Test? I never have, until today, and I'm blown away by the results! They are really accurate, you guys. I don't know anything about the science or the background of the test, because I literally stumbled over it this morning while doing a good old-fashioned stalking of old Sister Style posts from A Beautiful Mess. 
I always loved their Sister Style series, and I get nostalgic when the seasons change, thus the walk down their memory lane. In one of their posts Elsie mentions her Enneagram type (she's a type 7), and since I had nothing better to do this morning, I decided to do an Enneagram test for me and Rich

Friday, 31 August 2018

Best (and worst) of August

August was intense. I started my new job, lived in a hotel for a week, moved into what I thought would be my permanent part-time home, only to move out of it 8 days later (more about that below). We went from a blistering 40 degrees Celsius for the first half of the month to barely hitting 15 in the second half. There was a (thankfully small and easily contained) fire close to our house.
We decided to quit the guinea pig business and sold all of them. I started book #2 in earnest.
Rich had a cold for a week and lost his voice. I started boxing. It was a lot!

Here is my 1-second-a-day video:


Tuesday, 28 August 2018

Feeling more alive

I sit outside, back against a tree, eyes closed, face lifted up towards the sun. I breathe in deeply the wonderful smell of warm pine needles, late summer, and the first hint of fall in the air. 
The smoke is gone. After weeks of obscured skies, hazy horizons, the sun tinged red, and the constant smell of fire in the air, it feels like a miracle to breathe fresh air again. 
Having this half hour of solace and peace is like a warm blanket wrapped around my shoulders on a cold day. I'm feeling smaller and more vulnerable than usual, and the sun is not only warming my skin, but also my soul.   

I'm smack in the middle of my 9(!) days away from home, having said goodbye to Rich and the dogs only hours earlier, and as I'm learning, this is the worst day of the week for me. After having braved the first half of my time away quite well, seeing him and the dogs for a way too short time before they leave again just reminds me of how much I miss them. It's true what they say: absence makes the heart grow fonder, and my heart is a big, mushy pile of fondness and longing.

Wednesday, 22 August 2018

Thelma and Louise

It's been said to "never say never", and this saying has never been truer in my life than it is now.
I am a dog person. 100% team dog, no cats for me, no, siree, dogs all the way. Over the years people would occasionally ask why we don't have cats, and I was always quick to point out that "we don't like them".  Which I believed to be the truth.


Saturday, 18 August 2018

The magic of the Internet

I was never a person with many friends. In fact, my (perceived) lack of friends was my number 1 worry for all of my childhood, teenage years, and early/middle (is that what you call your twenties and early thirties?) adulthood. I was never completely friend-less; but I always worried about 
a) the ones I had leaving me 
b) I should have more friends
c) not having the "right" (aka "cool") friends
d) being a bad friend, because I'm a terrible person
e) ending up alone. 

Thursday, 16 August 2018

Say my name

A name is powerful. It's part of our identity, it makes us feel recognized, and knowing other people's names makes us feel more comfortable in their presence. If you've ever been in a trauma room with a dozen nurses, doctors, paramedics, respiratory therapists, x-ray techs, and a bunch of others and you try to coordinate who is doing what, you know that it's exceedingly difficult to do that when you don't know people's names. Trust me, I speak from experience.


Tuesday, 14 August 2018

What is home?

I walk in, and all I notice is the institutionalized wall colour (you know the one), the fluorescent lights, and a sea of strange faces. Old me would have hidden behind her desk for as long as possible, talking little, always the new girl, even after a year of employment. 
But I'm determined to make the most of this experience, so I tell my introverted self to put her big girl panties on, take a deep breath, and venture out. 
I'm doing what I said in my interview I would: I'm approaching people and introduce myself. I'm wearing my name badge, because isn't it so much easier to remember a name when you've seen it written down? 
And without a fail, everybody smiles and welcomes me warmly. My heart lifts.
Once I'm back at my desk I write down all the new names with a brief description, so I will learn them quicker. 

Friday, 10 August 2018

The town of deer

I wake up and pull the dogs close, showering them with kisses and hugging them a little bit too hard. 
I also hug Rich a little bit too hard, a few times too often, until he pushes me away gently and tells me, "dragging it out won't make it any easier. You have to go now." He is right, of course, but when I turn away for the final time I have to take several deep breaths to prevent myself from crying. I lift my blue suitcase into my trunk, give Lily a last kiss on the nose, and then I start the car. I slowly make my way up the driveway, watching the foals gallop around the field, tails high up in the air and loving life. I fill up the goats' water bucket, wave goodbye at them and then I'm really off. It's 5:45 in the morning.

Tuesday, 7 August 2018

The best days of our lives haven't happened yet

I'm floating down the river, with blue sky and sunshine above me, my friends and family around me, and the eagles soaring quietly above us, much closer than they are on land. I'm feeling so content and at peace that I can't contain myself, and I shout out to anyone who's close enough to listen: "This is the happiest day of my life!" My sister yells back, "I feel the same way!", and the joy I feel about sharing this special moment with her is indescribable. 
Later that day we will ride in the back of our pick-up truck, warm wind blowing in our hair, holding on tight to the tubes so they don't fly away, shrieking with laughter and excited for that night's barbecue, bonfire, and birthday celebration in honour of my love.

Wednesday, 1 August 2018

Best (and worst) of July

July felt like a long month - maybe because quite a few (little) things happened? Instead of my usual monthly round-up, I decided to write this post diary-style, with lots of photos.


Tuesday, 31 July 2018

Why you need a mission statement for your life

Do you have a mission statement for your life?
I've always wanted one. When I started being active on social media (which was 11 years ago on Facebook - I didn't have MySpace like the cool kids, because I'm always several years behind the trends), one of the first hurdles I encountered was the "describe yourself" section. Who was I? If you've read my memoir, you will know that figuring out who the hell I am has been a problem I've struggled with for most of my life. I vaguely remember taking the coward's way out and stating some obvious facts (wife, sister, dog-lover), because I simply didn't know.


Friday, 27 July 2018

New adventure ahead!

"I would like to offer you the job. Will you accept it?"
"Of course I will! I take it!"

And just like that, I have a new job!

Remember when I was annoyingly vague last week, talking about taking uncertain steps into the future?
That's what this was all about. I applied for a job 2 weeks ago, had my interview last week, and received the job offer yesterday. 
So far, so easy, right? Well - it comes with a twist.

Tuesday, 24 July 2018

Meet our foals!

Today I'm so excited to share some photos of our foals! Patrick (on the left) was born on July 12, and Kevin (right) was born on July 9. They both have the same father, and we even have photos of their conception!
For the first few days, they weren't really aware of each other, because newborn foals don't see very well and their protective mothers kept their distance from each other. But now that they're around 2 weeks old, they are discovering that there is a buddy to play with, and they're starting to hang out together, which is the cutest! 
Here are a few snapshots of the two playing together:

Thursday, 19 July 2018

Writing about hard things

"Is it weird for you to share so much personal stuff?" 
That's the most common question I get asked these days. And I completely understand: sharing your struggles with not being a mother, with depression, and all the messiness of your past must be like walking down the street naked, for most people. And I'm not gonna lie, it's hard sometimes. Being vulnerable to the world feels - well, vulnerable.
But you know what's worse? Not sharing it.
At least it is for me.


Saturday, 14 July 2018

Richard's Lyme Disease Status

It's been 2 months since Rich's last Lyme update, and since it was not a happy one it's high time for some good news! Because as of right now, Rich is doing fantastic
His main treatment has been Doxycycline, an antibiotic, and he took it twice a day for 6 months. Almost 3 weeks ago he quit taking them, a step he was worried about, but so far, he's doing great! He hasn't taken pain meds in months, and stopped his anti-inflammatories for the most part (only taking one when he really can't stand the pain, which is less than once a week right now). 

Monday, 9 July 2018

Cheers to being brave!

*This post is dedicated to Susie. You were the highlight of that experience for me. You rock, girl!

I step into the cute little store, heart pounding, my backpack heavy in my hand. I've stuffed all my remaining books in there - 15 in total - not knowing what to expect. Surveying the empty store, I get the sinking feeling that I've over-packed.
A trim, middle-aged woman in a knee-length denim skirt and cowboy boots greets me with a smile and a handshake. "You are the author? Nice to meet you! Here is your desk where you can set up." She gestures to a desk below a colourful picture of an owl before getting me a glass of water.
I pull a handful of books out of my backpack, together with some bookmarks and my business cards, arrange everything as best I can, and then someone approaches me.


Wednesday, 4 July 2018

Book signing in Calgary!

A few weeks ago, my marketing manager Kaleigh told me excitedly that a bookstore wanted me to do a reading and signing. My initial response was excitement ("omg, they chose me?!"), quickly followed by fear. In all the many months leading up to the release of my book, the thought of doing a public reading is what scared me the most. While I have a recurring fantasy of being a calm, poised and put-together person (and public speaker), the reality is that my hair is usually a bit messy, I trip over my words, and when I'm nervous I laugh too loudly at the wrong moment.

Sunday, 1 July 2018

Best (and worst) of June

June was the craziest month of the year so far. It included the full range of emotions from being really down to being utterly, blissfully happy. As always, let's get this party started with a look at my 1-second-a-day video:


Saturday, 30 June 2018

How the truth brought us closer together than ever

There are signs of her everywhere: the stripped sheets on the bathroom floor, waiting to be washed. The empty box of cinnamon buns, one of which we ate every morning as pre-breakfast. 
The bottle of 'Itch Relief Lotion' on the counter we used - unsuccessfully- on her 80+ mosquito bites 😩
Stepping outside, I inadvertently look at the Little House, expecting her to sit there with her morning cigarette - and the empty stoop leaves a hollow emptiness in my stomach. She's gone.

But then, a beautiful surprise: a blond chicken with a blond hairdo (looking very much like this one) is sitting on the back of 'her' chair, looking as much as my sister as a chicken possibly can. And it reminds me that she is still with me: in my heart, my memories, my photos, on the other side of the phone/computer - and reunited once again next year, when we embark upon our next sister trip. 

Wednesday, 27 June 2018

A day in wine country

Yesterday we spent the day in Kelownafornia! Oh, you haven't heard of it? It's an easy 1.5-hr drive away from home, otherwise known as Kelowna. Ha! Driving through the rolling wine hills, my sister said "that's what I picture California to look like!", to which my friend (and tour guide for the day) Christine replied: "they call it Kelownafornia!". I'm absolutely loving the name, and shall henceforth use it exclusively. 
Anyway, moving on to the wine tour!
We went to two wineries, The View and SpierHead Winery.

Saturday, 23 June 2018

Happy summer!

Summer is in full swing around here (albeit with almost daily thunderstorms, which is unusual for this area), and I'm finally doing all the things I've wanted to do when we moved here, but somehow haven't! Funny how that works, isn't it? 
That's the great things about having out-of-town visitors: you get to play tourist, and see your home with the eyes of an outsider. And what I see is pretty damn beautiful!

My sister is currently here, and not only are we having a fantastic time (and she takes great photos!), but we are apparently re-living our youth (in the words of my daughter). Nothing wrong with that!
Here are a few photos from our canoe-trip the other day:

Wednesday, 20 June 2018

My sister is here!

Sorry for the radio silence, it's been a weird two weeks. I will talk about that another time, because today is gonna be a happy post! My sister ~Emma in the book~ arrived last Sunday for a visit, and I couldn't be happier about it! There's nobody who can me make laugh as hard as she can, and we're having the best time.  
Here are a few photos!

Thursday, 7 June 2018

When your brain is broken

I'm not a label person. I don't own any designer bags or sunglasses, because I never had the desire to. Yet, when I was looking for a phone case 2 years ago, I ended up picking a black-and-white striped case by Kate Spade - the only designer item I own. 

Hearing about Kate Spade's heartbreaking death last Monday shook me deeply. Not so much because of my phone case, even though I'm still very fond of it - but because mental illness won. And every time mental illness wins, it results in a huge, terrible loss for all of us.

Thursday, 31 May 2018

Best (and worst) of May

May was - full of surprises! Before I get to them, let's take a look at the 1-second-a-day video:
As you can see, there were 2 things dominating that month: the dogs and the Little House (formerly known as the She Shed). That's because:

Wednesday, 30 May 2018

Boss Women: Kärt

It's been a hot minute, but today I'm back with our next boss woman!
I'm thrilled to introduce you to Kärt, a holistic wellness coach, business coach and yoga teacher. This kickass boss babe is not only a fellow immigrant who made BC her home, she also runs her own business and loves what she does so much, she actually likes Mondays (say whaaaatttt?!).

Take it away, Kärt!

Saturday, 26 May 2018

My top 10 summer reads for 2018

I've been reading up a storm lately. I always read a lot, but now that I have my hammock (which is the best reading spot I've ever had!), I do it more than ever. Is there anything better than swaying gently in a warm breeze, reading a great book and occasionally looking up to watch the hummingbirds feed right in front of you? I don't think so. This is my heaven, 100%.

Here are a few of the books I've read and enjoyed lately:

Thursday, 24 May 2018

"You will be SO happy"

We had drinks at the neighbourhood pub, and it was bittersweet, as all goodbyes are. Our usual easy banter was strained, tinged with sadness. I was excited to leave, but I was also heartbroken at the thought of whom I would have to leave behind. One of my best friends; my life-line, my confidante.

But we soldiered on bravely, because that's what we have always done. 
We've made jokes about explosive diarrhoea, managed to make people with multiple fractures laugh, and found the funny in hospital politics that are anything but.
He was my person at work. The one who made it not only bearable, but fun 

Monday, 14 May 2018

Melting chocolate never made me so happy

It's so hot, the chocolate bars in my purse have melted. 
It's only mid-May.
You would be forgiven to assume that I must be on vacation in a tropical location somewhere, with palm trees and sandy beaches and fruity drinks with a little umbrella in it at lunchtime - where else would it be so warm that your candy bars melt in your purse, in the shade?
But I'm not on vacation.
I live in a place now where the temps can reach mid-thirties (Celsius) in mid-May, and I don't think it will ever get old.
I dreamed of that growing up.
When I was a kid, the rule we were taught was that you could only walk barefoot during months without a "R" in it: May-August. It was an easy rule to follow, because all the other months were so freaking cold, nobody in their right mind would ever have attempted to walk barefoot anyways - it was an act of courage to do that for most of the permitted months.
But here I am, at 7:30 at night, and it's still 28 degrees Celsius. A warm breeze is blowing, and the air is perfumed with the sweet scent of lilac. The dogs lie all around me, lazy and panting, doing what we all should be doing much more of: enjoying the moment. They're content to be together, to be close to me, and to be in the shade, with the soft breeze cooling them down.
None of us could be any happier.
I never thought I would live in a place where it's so hot that chocolate bars melt in my purse, in May.

Yet here I am. 


Thursday, 10 May 2018

Living with Lyme

Life is busy lately. Busier than usual. Busy in a way that makes Rich sicker, because too much activity and stress is bad for him. His short-term memory has declined again (example: during dinner last night he couldn't remember a phone conversation he had that very morning 😖), his constant shoulder pain is back more severely than it has been in months, and his energy levels are very low.
What I've been afraid of, and what Rich optimistically disregard for as long as he could, is that Lyme Disease won't leave us any time soon. 

Monday, 7 May 2018

Why I'm going grey

It was an ordinary Wednesday about 8 years ago. At work, after a busy morning, the afternoon lull had set in, and we were all hanging out around the centre island, cracking jokes and enjoying the downtime. My lashes were bugging me that day, one of them stubbornly poking me into my right eye, and I darted into the bathroom for the fifth time, trying to get it sorted out. Since I was wearing eye shadow and mascara I didn't dare rub my eye without looking in a mirror, for fear I might smear my make-up. For what felt like the thousandth time that day, I cursed having put make-up on.

Monday, 30 April 2018

Best (and worst) of April

Omg guys, April was a BIG month for me. Honestly, I don't even know where to start, so how about we take a look at the 1-second-a-day video? Okay, let's do that:

Lots and lots of great stuff happened, and almost nothing bad! Let's break it down:


Friday, 27 April 2018

What the old cowboy told me

"Making a bad decision is better than no decision at all" the old cowboy says, looking at me fiercely, as if daring me to disagree with him. There's no danger of that - he's a formidable guy, tall and lean and wrinkled, with the wisdom of the old and proud who have lived a very full life. 

Besides, I happen to agree with him. We are so afraid to choose poorly, to make a wrong turn somewhere, that it seems easier to wait and weigh all the options for a little bit longer. But the longer we wait to make a decision, the harder it gets, and here is the real kicker: it's impossible to know beforehand if a decision will turn out to be the right one. So in a way, all the agonizing, the sleepless nights, the list-making and the weighing of pros and cons are futile. Ironic, isn't it?

That's the thing about life: we try our hardest to plan, to make the future as safe and predictable as possible - but our apparent control over our life is really an illusion. We can't foresee what turns our lives are going to take. There are too many elements out of our hands: economy, weather, illness, other people, love and loss. 
We can try to be the best possible person for our partner, but do we have real control over whether they stay or leave? No.
We can work hard at our job, show up every day, never late, never calling in sick, but do we have real control over whether the company will stay in business? Or if there will be a downsizing? Or if new management takes over, changing everything? No. 
We can try to be as healthy as possible, eat our greens and exercise and don't smoke and drink in moderation, but does that guarantee us healthy, long lives? Sadly, no. 

There are no guarantees in life. 
And while that sounds scary and awful and may make you want to curl up in a ball and give up now, here is the other piece of advice the old cowboy imparts on me:

"Never give up," he continues, settling in more comfortably. "I have never given up in my life. Once, I hobbled along on crutches for 4 days, with no food or water, until someone finally picked me up. I was starving and dehydrated, but did I give up? No. Never."

Because here is the thing: while we may not have much control about what is going to happen to us, we have all the control in the world over how we are going to react to it
Also, here is the other great relief: once you realize that there isn't really a right or wrong decision to make, it takes an immense amount of pressure off, doesn't it?

Here's the third thing the old cowboy tells me: "When I get to the top of the mountain and see the valley spread out below, I always stop to look at it. Because it's so beautiful, isn't it? It's so beautiful." 

The old cowboy doffs his hat and leaves.

Here is what I've learned to be true:
Out of the biggest tragedy can grow the biggest joy.
What we think we can't survive will, in fact,  make us so strong that we can do things we never thought we would be capable of doing.
There is beauty everywhere, if we stop to see it.

The old cowboy, of course, is right.


Sunday, 22 April 2018

50 life lessons

I love nothing more than the lessons life has to offer. Living with a 25-year older man has many advantages, but one of the most useful ones is life advice. He's made all the mistakes, and if he hasn't, his friends have. This doesn't necessarily mean that I won't make the same mistakes myself (after all, that seems to be the only way we humans learn), but at least I got a head start!
Here are 50 pieces of useful advice I've learnt thus far:

1. Believe in love.
2. When you find it, hold on to it and never let go.
3. Expect life to be hard sometimes. It will be.
4. Expect marriage to be hard sometimes. It will be.
5. Never give up. Brighter days will come! They  always do.
6. There will be pain in your life, because nobody gets away from that. But there will be so much more joy!
7. Never say no to a piece of cake or a glass of champagne.
8. Find a passion in life that makes you feel alive and do it often.
9. Stop dieting and start living. What counts in life are great experiences, laughter and friendship, not a random number on the scale.
10. Counting calories is a waste of your beautiful, creative mind.
11. Enjoy food. It's one of the greatest pleasures in life, and sharing a meal with others is one of the greatest joys. Don't ruin that for yourself by denying yourself certain foods.
12. Seriously guys, don't give up fresh, warm bread. It's one of the best reasons to be alive!
13. Never stop moving. A rolling stone gathers no moss.
14. When it comes to exercise: 10 minutes is better than zero minutes. This rule also applies to writing, house work, and personal hygiene. 
15. Don't worry about things that are out of your control, like the weather, other people, or whatever the latest trend is.
16. Don't give a shit about trends. Buy what you like!
17. Don't give a shit about fashion "rules". Wear what you like!
18. Don't believe the lie that aging is something to be ashamed of. Wear your battle scars (wrinkles, grey hair, stretch marks, etc.) with pride!
19. Other people's opinions about you have less to do with you and more with them. Feel free to ignore them.
20. You don't have to explain yourself to people. They are not entitled to know everything you do.
21. Stop buying stuff - it will weigh you down and stress you out.
22. Seriously: the more you have, the more you have to worry about.
23. When the sun shines, stop what you do, close your eyes, and turn your face towards its warmth. Repeat daily.
24. Listen to the birds sing.
25. Invite friends over even if your house isn't clean. If they're true friends, they won't care, and if they're not, who cares?

26. Spend more time with your loved ones, and less time working.
27. Work to live, not vice versa.
28. Do everything in moderation, including moderation (quote by Oscar Wilde).
29. If you need a day in bed, hiding away from the world, take it. You will feel better the next day.
30. Naps are the secret to a healthy happy well rested life!
31. There is no such thing as perfection.
32. Remember: 99% of what you see online is other people's highlight reel. Don't compare your everyday life to their highly edited, filtered, and censored moments.
33. Walk away from negative people. Life's too short for unnecessary drama. 
34. Don't try to "fit in". You will meet people you can be yourself with. Wait for them. They are worth it.
35. Stop trying so hard. Relax. Be yourself. You're amazing!
36. Forgive. Not for them, but for your own peace of mind.
37. Forgive your parents. They probably tried their best. Parenting is hard, and we all do the best we can.
38. Accept. There will be things in your life you wish you could change, but you can't. Accept it.
39. If you find the perfect black dress, buy it! Those are rarer to find than unicorns.
40. Ditto for jeans. The perfect pair of jeans is basically a myth, so if you find it, buy 5 pairs of them, become best friends with the store clerk, and have her email you every time they have a sale. If they do that, name your firstborn after them. She/he's worth it.
41. Don't focus on how you look in a swim suit. Jump into the water and focus on how amazing it feels against your skin!
42. Don't wait for your life to start 10 pounds from now. Live it now.
43. Don't ever deny yourself an experience because you think you don't look good enough. Do everything, right now!
44: Cooking a turkey dinner is a lot easier than it sounds. I promise! You got this.
45. If you're sad, cry. It will make you feel better.
46. If you're happy, dance! It will make you feel even more amazing!
47. Accept that you will never stop being scared. Face your fear, and do it anyway.
48. Write a list of everything you want in life. Then, work towards it. Trust me: writing that list will be the hardest part.
49. Get yourself a pet. Or better yet, many pets
50. Life is short. Go and live it NOW!


Tuesday, 17 April 2018

My husband wants bright yellow

We're currently in the process of deciding what colour we want to paint our house, and for once in our lives, my husband wants to go brighter than me.
I love colour. I'm the one with dibs on going colour-crazy, with my husband having the role of trying to talk me down. 
Yet, here we find ourselves, roles reversed, with me being clueless about how this suddenly happened. 

Maybe it's because he was so sick, he thought he might die?
Maybe it's because he is so much farther over the hump, he's more aware of the preciousness of every day?
Maybe it's because he once saw a house that was so outrageously, in-your-face happy and unique and out there, he wanted to have a house just like it?

I'm concerned because yellow won't fit into the neighbourhood. 
It won't fit into 'the landscape'.
It won't be subdued. 
Nor discreet. 

It will be cheerful, obnoxiously so. 
It will practically shout: 'Live a little louder'!
It will remind my husband of the best house he ever saw.
It will make us both laugh.

Life is short.
Have a yellow house while you can.


Sunday, 15 April 2018

UPDATE: I'm now shipping to the US and Europe as well!

Hi guys, happy Sunday!
I'm just popping in to let you know that I figured out a way to ship my book now only within Canada, but also to the US! It's 5 CAD more, which works out to be about 20 USD. For some reason, shipping from Canada is weirdly expensive, but I think that's a good solution!

I do ship to Europe as well, but it's 15 CAD more, so you might be better off to wait until it's available on Amazon

To get your signed copy, click here!

Thank you for your support, it means the world to me. This is such a new experience for me, and it's definitely faaaaaaar outside my comfort zone. But I'm not complaining, it's the wildest ride I've ever been on! 

Thank you!!!

xo Miriam


Friday, 13 April 2018

Get your signed copy now!

My baby is here!!!
If you're following me on social media, you already know that my biggest dream has come true: my book arrived last week. It's not officially released until June 5, but I had my publisher send me 100 copies, and after staring at the big pile of books in my room all week, I've decided that now is the time to release them into the wild!

I will sell some signed books right here, starting today!

Click here to order!

Langley peeps, if you want to shop locally and support the Langley Hospital, you can buy a copy at the Langley Memorial Hospital gift shop! The books will be available there from April 23 onward!

Thank you all for all the congratulations and well-wishes over this past week. This is the most exciting and surreal time of my life, and I still have to pinch myself daily to make sure I'm not dreaming. 

Please let me know in the comments if something isn't working, as per usual I'm figuring it out as I go!

Lots of love to you all,



Sunday, 8 April 2018

When dreams come true

I hike up the hill, breathless and soaking wet. The rain is pounding down mercilessly, but it suits my current mood: I'm desperate. My tears mix with the rain, both rolling down my cheeks unchecked. I don't bother wiping my soaking-wet face, choosing instead to howl with the wind. 
"What am I supposed to do now?" I scream into the storm, startling my dog Roxy who is scampering along next to me, undisturbed by the rain and wind.

I fucked up, big time. And I got busted. Over the last several weeks, I've skipped school more often than I attended it, opting to hang out with the coolest kid from school instead. I'm fed up with it all. I'm 18, scared of the future, unable to figure out what I want to do after graduation, and I've had enough of being the good girl. I've been the good girl all my life, and where has it left me? Feeling afraid, insecure and completely clueless. So I checked out for a while, hanging out at the lake, the pub, or simply driving around with Frank, the other rebel. 
But one of my teachers ran to my parents and told them all about it, and they are majorly pissed. And even worse: disappointed. Is there anything worse for a people-pleaser than disappointing her parents? I don't think so.
So here I am, walking around in the rain, desperately searching for a solution to make it all good again. I thought I was a rebel, but I'm not cut out for it: all I want is for my parents to like me again. 
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