Become comfortable with being uncomfortable

I'm currently sitting on the train from Amsterdam to Paris, typing this post on my small laptop, feeling insanely worldly. While I've been travelling back and forth between Canada and Germany for the last 15 years, I'm far from a seasoned traveler. On the contrary, all the unknowns you can't control (train schedules, lost luggage, delays due to traffic/repairs/who-knows-what) always freak me out on the day before I go somewhere new. Is everybody like that? I suspect so, except maybe for travel pros who do it all the time. 

Yesterday I was a wreck, teary and emotional, not wanting to leave Rich and the dogs behind. 

But since this happens every time before going on a trip, I had to accept this annoying habit as part of my travel ritual. I seem to have to go through a brief period of freak-outs and grief, and once I'm on the road, I'm fine. I'm now in the 20th hour of my long travel day, and there is only one leg of the journey left: Taking the metro to our AirB'nB, where I will meet our butler Aurélien who is giving me the keys to our apartment, and waiting for my sister. 

During the flight, I reflected on yesterday (my yesterday, it's really 2 days ago - travel is weird), and my reluctance to leave. 

The reason for it is simple: I don't want to leave my comfort zone. Despite knowing that I have never regretted stepping out of it, it's a battle every fricking time.  

Making memories

Guys, I have so much to tell you. However, I'm short on time, so this may or may not be in point form. 

The problem with blogging only about once a week (which I honestly hate, I want to blog moooore) is that, when you finally sit down to do it, you don't know how to make sense of the mess in your head. In lieu of doing anything complicated, I'll just share what's been going on the last few days, okay?

If you've read my last post (or my newsletter), you know that my mother-in-law is in town. Every visit has its ups and downs, but we always manage to have some genuinely fun times together. A few days ago, we went for a quad ride into the high country, and she loved it! So did I, as did Tom Snow, who jumped over the gate and followed us:

The cure for everything

What do you do when your MIL tells you, in quick succession, that 

a) your corgi is too fat, and that "she won't get old when you keep feeding her like that", and

b) your hips got bigger (said to Rich, not me: "Did she gain weight? Her hips look bigger.", which, in her dialect, is phrased as "Did it gain weight? The hips look bigger.").

Evenings in Cowboy-land

I come home from work just before 4:00pm.
Pulling in, I see 4 guys perched on their tailgates, cold cans of beer in their hands, country music playing.
"Miriam! You're home! Do you want one?" They call, beckoning me over. I accept it gratefully.
They've been working on our fences all day, starting at 7am. They work hard, but they also know how to enjoy themselves. All their lunch boxes contain a few cans of beer, and their supply of jokes is just as well stocked.

"Did you know that Willie Nelson died?"
We're shocked. "What? Really??"
"Yes, he was playing on the road again."

The reason why

There are the rare moments when everything is easy and crystal clear. 

You are in love, and it was so difficult and controversial in the beginning, that you wanted to write it all down. Not only to preserve the memory for yourself, but also to encourage others who are facing tough decisions, disapproval, and doubt. Oh god, the doubt. I could write an entire book just on that. 

You want to show them that, even though it's so fucking hard at times, it's worth it a million times over. The hardship you face right now, and that may seem insurmountable, will be nothing but a teeny, tiny speck on the vast windshield of your life. It will be nothing but a blip. An amusing anecdote to laugh about later over shared glasses of wine.