A letter to October

Dear October, 

You were a disappointment this year. You are usually one of my favourite months, but this year you had it in for me. Instead of delivering golden days, blue skies and sunshine, you gave us bitterly cold winds, grey days and even snow for 24 hours. Wtf?!

But the weather was the least of my problems. You, October, were the month that took almost more from me than I could bear. 

During the first 10 days you took my husband away from me. Not your fault, I know, but hard nonetheless. Then you took my sanity - well, PMDD did, but during your time - which resulted in the worst episode of the year, and one of the worst ones of my life.  

On the 19th you took our beloved Nina. I try to hide my grief to the public, but I miss her terribly every single day.

Still not satisfied, you then took my health and my voice. I was literally speechless for 4 days, which resulted in 3 discoveries:

1) I talk a lot to myself and the dogs. I never realized just how much I do it until I couldn't anymore. Reason to worry?

2) Hanging out on the couch and binge-watching Netflix immediately loses its appeal when you can't do anything else. Seems like part of the attraction is the minor thrill of doing it while you should do something more worthwhile? Who knew. Also, middle age is sometimes as pathetic as we feared it would be as teenagers. Luckily, middle age's greatest gift is that we don't give a shit, so I guess it  all works out in the end. 

3) Having free time but no energy sucks. Not a groundbreaking insight by any means, but still worth mentioning. I missed out on a visit with my grandson, I missed a bunch of work, and I didn't like any of it one bit. 

Lastly, you took a piece of Teddy's foot. She got stuck in the fence (long story), and she's been limping around on 3 legs for a few days now.

Like I said, you took a lot. 

But luckily, you also gave me some great gifts. It was hard to recognize them at the time with the shitshow that you had going on, but having had some time to reflect today, I did see them, and I'm very grateful for the following:

Dixie

Little girl joined us a week ago, and she's such a lively, spirited, loving (and bitey, but that will wear off) puppy, we completely adore her. I won't forget that you delivered our sweet girl to us, October!

Sunsets

You have sent us some truly spectacular sunsets. And a few spectacular starry nights as well. Not all your weather was bad. 

INFJ 

This was the month where I finally figured out where I'm on the Myers-Briggs scale. I'd taken the test halfheartedly a few years ago and then forgotten the result immediately, but this time I did it intentionally, and ever since I've gotten the result, I've obsessively pinned snippets about my type. It explains everything about the conflicting emotions I had about myself, like identifying as an introvert while still being outgoing and bubbly at work. Turns out, that's one of the signs of being an INFJ! This article was eye-opening, as was that one. I'm still digesting everything I've learnt about my type so far, and I know that it will become more enlightening and helpful as time goes by.   

The tiniest lumberjack

October, by far your most attractive quality is Halloween, and seeing my grandson as the most adorable lumberjack the world has ever seen almost makes up for all your hardship this month. His little beard and STIHL chainsaw are killing me! And also bring back memories haha!

Fostering another puppy

This story isn't quite ready to be told yet, but through a long and complicated chain of events, we are currently fostering another puppy. He's not supposed to stay with us, but only time will tell if his intended future owner can take him or not. He recently got diagnosed with some serious health concerns, and until he knows what's going to happen, this little guy is staying with us. I'm hesitant to name him since he isn't ours, so I call him "puppy" and Rich calls him "Petey" (after his previous owner), but should he end up staying here, we would name him properly. 
Just another twist in this extremely strange, complicated month.

Before we leave, here's the 1-second-everyday-video, demonstrating once again that the snippets you see online never tell the full story (it looks quite pleasant, right?):

Here's to a better November!

xoxo Miriam

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