Saturday 22 January 2022

I did a manifesting challenge ... here is what happened

It's the last week of 2021. I'm on my way home from work on a beautifully sunny day: the sky is blue, the snow is sparkling, and I'm listening to the A Beautiful Mess podcast. Emma and Elsie talk about their favourite things of 2021, and Elsie mentions something that changed her life: manifesting.
Huh. A little shiver runs down my spine.  

I've been waiting for a sign. I choose a word every year that symbolizes what I want to focus on, and this time I'm struggling. Usually it's fairly easy to find a new word, because when I make my list of goals there's an underlying theme, and the word just appears. 
Not this time though. I'm stuck, which is no surprise considering that I've been stuck all year. 2021 has not been a year of forwards momentum. I've been standing still all year, basically hibernating, more or less just surviving. My creativity is at an all-time low, there's little excitement, and it feels like I've been sitting in a waiting room all year, waiting for my real life to make a reappearance. 

But hearing the word manifesting does something to me: something inside me is waking up. It takes me a while to identify the emotion, but at last I recognize it: it's excitement. Welcome back, old friend, it's been a while! I start to smile. 

That's how it started. From that podcast I went to another one (Your Woo Woo Best Friend), and then I somehow came across this: a 21-day manifesting challenge with Gabby Bernstein. I signed up for it immediately, because the excitement inside me was growing. This felt right

I've dabbled in manifesting before. When The Secret came out (I think it was in 2008?) I jumped on the band wagon and was very much into it. Using the universe like a catalogue and order whatever you want? Yes, please! I watched the DVD about 20 times, liking that the law of attraction had physics in it, because it made it sound scientific. The skeptic in me reasoned that it must be true because of that. 
However, as much as I liked the concept and wanted it to be true, I couldn't fully commit. It was all too woo-woo for me, and after a while I forgot about it. 

But something was different this time. I was the proverbial student who was ready for the teacher to appear and I was ready. I made myself a vision board that hangs next to my desk, and then the challenge began.

The most important part of manifesting is knowing what you want. You have to be specific and clear, and honestly,it's not as easy as it may seem at first. We are surprisingly terrible at knowing what will make us happy, and the only way how we can really figure that out is by taking a long, hard look at ourselves. One of the questions we have to ask ourselves is how we want to feel; only then can we move on to the next step of figuring out what we need to do in order to feel that way. 

My primary objective going into the challenge was to manifest my third book in 2022. I started working on my first piece of fiction in early 2020, but got completely derailed by Covid. I basically didn't touch it at all last year, and it's really been bugging me. So my goal was simple: manifest finishing the book (and then maybe even get a publishing deal, a quiet voice whispered - I shut that voice down. That's way too much to ask - don't be greedy).

A big part of the challenge consists of meditation and journaling, particularly writing right after meditation. It's an incredibly powerful practice, because it's almost as if your subconscious gets a chance to speak. What comes out is sometimes truly astonishing!
On day 3 Gabby asked us to write down what we are a YES for, and to be specific about the exact feelings and experiences we want to cultivate in our life. 
Here is my list, written by my subconscious:

- stepping into the (lime)light
- public speaking 
- adventuring
- accepting miracles
- saying yes to opportunities
- being honest and vulnerable
- friendship
- embracing uncertainty
- a bigger life

Here is what's been happening since:

- I have been chosen to be part of a mental health panel at my professional association's conference this year. That means that I will be publicly speaking about my depression in front of hundreds of fellow technologists, doctors, professors, physicists and other professionals in April. That would have been unthinkable to me even just a few months ago! But I want to do this very much, and for now I'm thrilled and excited! (I'm sure the nerves will come later...)

- I am getting interviewed for an online telethon fundraiser for our town next week 

- I received a cheque for my first book from my publisher that was roughly 100x higher than it usually is

- a friend added me to her hiking group and we went for an epic, 3-hour long snowshoeing adventure this morning 

- we've had some great meals and talks with friends

- I'm working on my third book: 30,000 words in so far!

If you look back at my list, that ticks off almost every single item! And a lot of it is what I've always considered to be out of my comfort zone - I mean, public speaking? Me? That's craziness. 
But here comes the truly crazy part: it suddenly doesn't feel outside of my comfort zone any more. It feels as natural as if I've been waiting to do it all my life. An interview? Sure, what time?

There's a shift happening inside of me that's palpable. A part has awakened that was either asleep or didn't exist before. I don't know if it's all that meditating and journaling, if it's a coincidence (ha! I don't believe that for a second), or: that manifesting shtick really works.   

The challenge ended yesterday, but I will keep going with meditating, journaling, going inward and becoming even more intentional with what I do (and don't) want to have in my life.   
Manifesting is my word for 2022, and now that I have the tools I know that even more wonderful and exciting things are coming. 
This year is shaping up to be big


  1. Wow wow wow. Your manifesting journey has begun even more amazingly than I imagined. I am so excited to read about and feel your energy here. Big, beautiful blessings as 2022 continues to unfold! xo

    1. I wish you a fantastic 2022 as well Liz! Yes, this journey has started with a bang, I'm completely in awe. It's been a while since something felt so RIGHT in my life!
      Feeling beyond grateful.


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