Wednesday, 29 January 2020

The Neverending Month

This is the longest January in the history of Januarys, and none of them is short. How can it still be January? It has lasted 1000 days already. I have aged a year. My husband is 100 now. Our grandson is in college.
My hair is greasy every morning even though it usually doesn't get greasy for 3 days, proving that each day is at least 3 times longer than it should be.

I eat 6 square meals a day because every day is sooooo looooooooooooong.
I have spent more money in January than I have all winter, and the rest of winter had Christmas in it.
January feels like the Hundred-Year Winter of Narnia.
I've already read 6 books.
Our puppies have tripled in size this month, grew up and had puppies themselves.
Every day is Groundhog Day.
You can't buy green bananas in January because they will never ripen. They stay green for as long as January lasts, which is for-freaking-EVER.
Clothes that are fashionable at the beginning of January are vintage by the end of it.
Time does not fly in January. Anyone who ever wished for time to slow down gets their wish in January: time goes one step forwards and two back. I'm wishing for some more time-flying right about now.
The days are long, but this month is the longest.
Time has lost all its meaning. Even if you sleep 10 hours a night you're still tired. A work day lasts a gazillion hours. My data plan that always lasts all month ran out weeks ago.
January is so long, I'm having my period for the second time this month, and it's a healthy 28-day cycle.
I fully expect that I will have reached menopause by the end of the month.
Days in January are like dog years: every one counts as 7.


Rumour has it that January will come to an end, one day.
I believe it when I see it.


Top picture taken from Dave Facebook page
Last picture from Pixabay



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2 comments

  1. You make me laugh because I feel the same way.
    Work is incredibly slow this time of year too. My last 2 credit card bills mirror each other and yeah... on had Christmas in it! I have my coworkers on "shopping watch" to make sure I am not online shopping for at least now through the end of February as if they are making sure I don't cheat on a diet.
    I have read one really big book.
    I am asleep by 9 some night and am trying to find adventure in every day things so not to get into a winter slump. The struggle is real.

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    Replies
    1. WE MADE IT!!!! The longest month in the history of months has finally come to an end. I can barely believe it.

      Now on to February, or as I like to call it, the official start of 2020. January was just a trial run 😂

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