Thursday 27 February 2020

Be whoever the hell YOU want to be

A video by Paul McLean is going viral because it demonstrates in a haunting and spellbinding way how impossible the demands on women are:

Be a Lady They Said from Paul McLean on Vimeo.

Cynthia Nixon's narration is incredible, isn't it? Goosebumps.

This video succinctly sums up the struggle every woman faces in this world. It's one of the main topics I've written about over the past 6 year on this blog and in my book Quit the Hustle: how difficult it is to figure out who you are, and once you have, how to be that person in a world with contradicting and cruel demands on women. 

It's a call to arms to collectively raise the middle finger to society and to stop giving a damn about what society wants us to be. 

The only person who gets to decide who you are is you.  
The only person's opinion about you that matters is your own.
Life is hard enough without trying to squeeze ourselves into boxes that change completely every few years. 
It will be one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do, but also one of the most important ones: you have to blaze your own trail. 
You have to figure out who you want to be in this crazy world. On the way to becoming your own woman you will most likely disappoint a few people, upset a few gender norms and raise a few eyebrows. 
Do it anyway. 

The only way to become the independent, strong women that sit deep within all of us is for us to stop listening to the expectations and rules and bullshit that are being thrown at us and rise above the noise. 

Stop listening to the world and be whoever the hell YOU want to be!!

Update: Taylor Swift's latest video The Man came out today, and it fits the theme perfectly. It's SO good, check it out:



  1. WOW... this really speaks to me. I work in a male dominated field and I really have been feeling this lately. I had a melt down a couple weeks ago because it just got to feeling like too much. Several situations happened where even my male coworker commented if you were a dude they wouldn't have talked/treated you that way. To add to my fury for whatever reason lately I have been listening to podcast about Larry Nassar and Jeffery Epstein and I find myself so damn mad. It's really stirred up things from the past and I am so angry that as a society we have allowed our fellow sisters to be hurt and victimized by horrible people such as Nassar and Epstein. And on top of it we have made them and continue to make women feel like they should just deal with it. My husband in an effort to be helpful has said just ignore it, you are better than them and I appreciate his intentions but I just want to scream unless you have been marginalized you have no space to tell me what to accept. I shouldn't have to get over it I shouldn't have to ignore it... it's just not right.

    Sorry for my rant, it just have been having a lot of feels lately and this really struck a cord with me. Thank you for allowing me to get on my soapbox. :-)

    1. Of course! No need to apologize, we women do that too much.

      No man will ever be able to fully understand how many times a day women are being looked down on or regarded as less important.
      No man will know the planning that goes into going out after dark, the uneasy feeling we have and the bunch of keys we have sticking out between our fingers in case of an attack.

      They don't know how many times a day we apologize, because we've been taught that we shouldn't take up as much space as a man does.

      It's GOOD to get angry, and to demand equality, and to make them listen. Even if they will never fully understand, I hope at least they can acknowledge that were still living in a world that treats men and women differently.

      It's slowly getting better- but there is still so much need for improvement.


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