Creating my happy life on the other side of fear.

Thursday, 12 January 2017

A dozen years


On Tuesday, we celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary. In typical fashion, we kept it low-key and casual, doing farm-y stuff like unloading hay, doing a dump-run (we don't have garbage pick-up where we live), and basically doing what has been our theme for the last few weeks: Spending (almost) every moment of every day together. In the beginning it felt weird, I'm not gonna lie, but after the initial why-are-you-always-here?-adjustment periodwe both love it!

We bicker every day, but we truly enjoy spending so much time together. We both know this won't last forever, so I try to remember that (unsuccessfully, usually) before I gripe about the pee on the rim of the toilet (seriously: how hard is it to hit the huge bowl of the toilet??).

Anyway. We actually had a surprisingly romantic evening involving champagne, candle light and humongous steaks. It also involved a loong walk down memory lane, something I don't want to deprive you of:

Vintage Rich and Miriam, aka. the cradle robber and the baby. (He looks so old! I look so young! I know you're thinking it, because - come on, just look at us. But we were so madly in love, we didn't notice or care. Still don't. Long live love!)

Our wedding

Contrary to most people's wedding day, ours was not that great. If you want to describe it in one word, that word would be: Awkward
It was very small (only 16 people including us), and the unspoken theme of the day was: Let's all pretend this is normal, even though it's weird as hell. Most of my family met Rich for the first time on our wedding day, and there was this funny moment during the town hall ceremony where the registrar read our birthdays, and I swear you could hear everybody behind us furiously calculating in their heads what our age difference is. Just in case you're wondering the same: 25 years. Yup, a quarter of a century. 


Other unusual facts about our wedding:

1. I didn't choose my dress. (I didn't even wear a dress.) My mother picked it. I had envisioned a white skirt-and-jacket combo à la Carrie Bradshaw's simple outfit when she marries Big for real. But I was so grateful that my parents pretended to be okay with our marriage, that when my mother offered she would buy my outfit, I readily agreed. 

2. I didn't even see my wedding outfit or try it on until the night before. I was working in Wales at the time, and didn't arrive at my parent's house until the night before our wedding. Talk about risky! But I honestly didn't care what I was going to wear. All I wanted was to become Rich's wife. 

3. The wedding was over at 5pm. Our ceremony was at 11 in the morning, with a lunch afterwards. After the lunch, we sat around and talked (with several awkward silences thrown in), and my uncle took some photos. If he wouldn't have, there wouldn't have been any photos at all! Because we had no wedding photographer. We had coffee and cake in the afternoon, and to everybody's relief, the whole affair was over by 5pm. 


4. Our reception was at a castle. Since we got married in Germany, we were able to have the reception at a castle. Castles are easy to come by (both our home towns have them), and this one is only five minutes away from my parent's house. 

    Image found here

5. Our honeymoon lasted only three days. We went to Weimar with Richard's cousin and his wife for a bit of sightseeing. After the three days I had to return to Wales for two more months to finish my job at The Celtic Manor Resort, and Rich flew home to Canada. 

While our wedding may not have been "the happiest day of my life", our marriage has blossomed into the strong foundation on which we built a very happy life together. 


None of our wedding guests expected our marriage to last. Most thought I married him because I wanted to stay in Canada, and that he married me because of my youthful age/a midlife crisis on his part.

Nothing could be further from the truth. We fell in love despite ourselves. It was one of the scariest decisions we ever made, but the one that has brought us so much happiness, I would choose him over and over again.


If there is one lesson I have learnt, it is that you can trust your instincts. 
If it comes to love, you have to listen to your heart. It won't lead you astray. It may look insane to others, but if it makes sense to you, go for it
Nobody can give you advice, because nobody knows how you truly feel inside. 


I'm so grateful that we both went for it. It's been the most extraordinary journey, and it's just getting better and better. 
  

My darling husband, I love you forever. 






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15 comments

  1. This is beautiful! Thanks for sharing about your wedding and keeping it real - no rose colored glasses. My wedding felt awkward too (I hate being the center of attention) so I always feel like I was a bad bride when people say that their wedding was the best day of their lives, because honestly, I remember thinking, "When will this be over?" But I loved marrying Kevin, obviously! Anyway, happy anniversary! Here's to many, many, many more!

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    1. I don't believe anyone who claims that their wedding was "the best day of their lives". It's too stressful, there is too much pressure, and a lot of the dresses are too tight ;-)
      But admitting that it wasn't "the BEST day" seems ungrateful and wrong, particularly if they spent a lot of money. I always think that weddings are great fun for the guests, and a lot of work and stress for the couple. In the end, what counts is the thousands of days after, not that one day. I'm so happy that you and Kevin are so happy together! Being in love is the best thing in the world.

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  2. Happy Anniversary both of you! Dan and I both were 19 and I was 8.5 months pregnant. NO ONE thought it would last. Haha My wedding was basic - no dress, I wore a white (HA!) suit. The reception was at the fire house, catered by my sister, no band, no alcohol... Just family, a few friends. No traditions other then my family insisted Dan and I have a song and dance to it. It was VERY low key. More of a formality really. Here are are getting ready to celebrate 22 years on 1/28. My only regret was not having a dance with my dad. That is probably my only regret in life.

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    1. Oh and now I am singing "You're Still the One" by Shania Twain. LOL

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    2. I'm listening to it right now while writing to you ;-)
      I LOVE your wedding day story! And that you and Dan proved everybody wrong and celebrate 22 years of marriage together soon. Another January wedding!
      Ours felt the same - a formality. I always thought I would have a "real" wedding in Canada with the kids and our friends, but never felt the need. The only thing I regret is that I wasn't wearing a white dress - I feel like I missed my only chance. I also didn't dance with my dad (or was walked down the aisle by him) - there was no aisle and no dancing. Oh well, nothing is perfect. What matters is that we created our own happily-ever-afters!

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  3. Love love love this!
    I love an unconventional wedding! (Mine was only 30 ppl, in the rain, in a yes, poofy dress, but greyish blue).
    Your story is so unique and inspiring ! It reminds me of that old saying... "love is enough". Because well...it's just so darn true. Your marriage proves it!
    -Linds

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    1. I always loved your wedding-story too! An extremely short engagement (what was it, 4 months?), and a low-key, very special ceremony. And your matching tattoos to remember your wedding by! I love everything about it!

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  4. Happy Anniversary Hun! You're love story is amazing. Rich is a lucky man and you are lucky to have found your soul mate! Wishing you both all the best.

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    1. Thank you David!! We learnt to ignore what most people were trying to tell us in the beginning, and did what our hearts were telling us. We had this really strong sense that if we didn't give it a shot, we would regret it for the rest of our lives. I can't tell you how grateful I am that we did! It was worth (temporarily) upsetting our families over.

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  5. Happy anniversary to you guys! You look so genuinely happy :)

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    1. We are. Well, we also get annoyed with each other (a LOT), but we love each other fiercely. It was the best decision of our lives to say "yes" to each other!

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  6. Well, it may have a little bit of a strange start, but happy anniversary!

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    1. Thank you! If (for me) a less-than perfect wedding was the price to pay for a great marriage, I'll take it!

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  7. Replies
    1. This might be you and Ice Bath one day ...?!?

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