Monday 5 June 2017

The reason why

There are the rare moments when everything is easy and crystal clear. 
You are in love, and it was so difficult and controversial in the beginning, that you wanted to write it all down. Not only to preserve the memory for yourself, but also to encourage others who are facing tough decisions, disapproval, and doubt. Oh god, the doubt. I could write an entire book just on that. 

You want to show them that, even though it's so fucking hard at times, it's worth it a million times over. The hardship you face right now, and that may seem insurmountable, will be nothing but a teeny, tiny speck on the vast windshield of your life. It will be nothing but a blip. An amusing anecdote to laugh about later over shared glasses of wine. 

But so many of us never make it past the initial hurdles. 
There is so much uncertainty. 
So many reasons not to go for it.
There is social pressure. 
Family obligations. 
Parental expectation. 
Moral burdens, no matter whether you are religious or not - you will be hit with them (by people just as non-religious as you are), and it will affect you, despite your best efforts. 
Because we grew up with these rules, these expectations to not be like one of them - the outsiders, rebels, the people with scandals that are being talked about by people who play by the rules. 
And honestly, after you've passed the brief, yet intense phase of being a rebellious teenager (and you were only rebellious because, despite your best efforts, you never managed to fit in), all you ever wanted was a good, quiet life. A life of peace, no confrontations, happiness, and universal approval. 
Yet, despite your best efforts, you are still that awkward teenager who simply can't fit in. 
How annoying is that?!?

There is your desire for approval by your peers. By society, parents, church, the whole universe. 

But there is also your heart. And your soul. And they are telling you something with such startling clarity, that you can't ignore it. 
They're telling you that you have an enormous, once-in-a-lifetime chance of happiness
You have the chance of a love beyond your wildest dreams. It's too new, too fragile, too unknown to be understood by your much slower mind. But your heart and soul already know: This.Is.It. 

If you have never been sure about anything,  but you are sure about that? 
If, despite the doubts, and all the well-meaning, rational, smart advice people are giving you - you know that, if you don't do this, you will regret it for the rest of your life - how would you decide?
Head over heart?
Heart over head?

I made my decision. 
We both did. 

It wasn't much liked in the beginning. Most people thought we lost our minds. We were judged and pronounced guilty. 
And we struggled with that. 

But still, a force stronger than all the outside forces pulled us towards each other: Love

The power of love is greater than anything else. 
We couldn't help but comply to it, and we are so grateful for it every single day. 

That's why I wrote down our story. 
Because it's the best thing that ever happened to us. 

And I don't want you to miss out on a love like that, just because it doesn't fit society's expectations. 
Or your parent's plans for you. 
Or the ancient rules written by a church you may not even believe in. 

It may be the bravest thing I ever did - and I wanted to document that. 

With my upcoming book, I have done just that. 

Now, it's your turn. Stop listening to your critics, and start listening to your heart. 

It won't lead you astray. 

xoxo Miriam

P.S. To read the first chapter of my book, you can sign up here.  

P.P.S. I will keep you posted about more details about the book! Obviously. I mean, without you? I would have never written it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!


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