Sunday, 24 July 2016

Scary dreams


What would you do if your love would tell you: "If you say yes, you can take a few years off work to pursue your dreams. Write your book. Do your yoga teacher training. All you have to do is say yes."
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?? 
Because I feel like I answered the question wrong. 
What I did - is freak out. BIG TIME.
Give up a secure job? My retirement plan? My little heaven? The place I feel most comfortable in? I'M NOT READY. I'M SCARED. DON'T MAKE ME.

Hubby and I, we have the option of doing something big. Nothing is decided yet. It may all turn to dust, evaporating to nothing. 
But right now, we are at the brink. At the brink of something HUGE.
We are looking at a ton of possibilities. Adventures. A shitload of work
So he asked me: "If it all works out, are you up for it?"
And I want to. I've been dreaming about it for years.

But I'm almost paralyzed by fear.
Am I all talk, no action?  
Gawd, I hope not. 

I fear I have to leave it at that, for now. I always loathe when other bloggers do this (all the hinting, no clues), but now I get why: If you are in the middle of it, if it all happens as you go, sometimes you have no choice. It's all just too fresh, too raw, too indigested for public consumption. 
But, at the same time, you have the overwhelming need to talk blog about it.
Which leaves you, the unsuspecting readers, with a shitload of vague nonsense. 

I apologize sincerely. 

And I promise you: I will keep you updated on everything. As soon as I know more, you will, too. 
In the meantime, let's remember: Everything is impermanent.
The decision we face, the one we think is oh so important? It isn't. 
At the end of our life, all we will face is our biggest regrets. 
And the one I'm most afraid of facing, is this: 
Not having taken the chance.
   

Dress: ModCloth







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