Creating my happy life on the other side of fear.

Wednesday, 20 September 2017

10 reasons why you should do THE SCARY THING


Life – if lived right – is a daring adventure. If we want to live it to the fullest, if we want to suck every last drop out of it and take advantage of new opportunities, we will be scared. 
lot 

Unfortunately, adventure doesn’t come without risk, and risk scares us. So do new things. And change. And putting ourselves out there. We are afraid of what other people may think. We are worried that we may fail. 
And we are scared that the change we are contemplating may be for the worse. That we are making a mistake. The list goes on! 
I’m sure you’re as familiar with fear as I am, because fear is part of human life. Everybody is scared. Many of us let fear rule our life, and don’t dare try the thing they dream of, because of all the reasons listed above.  
However, there are the people who go for it despite the fear. Who push through it, and find out that life beyond fear? It’s the best damn thing. 
  
I’ve tried a few things in my life that scared the shit out of me, and I noticed something interesting. 
There are two kinds of fear: The good kind and the bad kind. 
The good kind is when you have butterflies in your stomach, and when you feel queasy, but also excited. That sort of fear gives you energy, and makes you look forward to what’s coming. 
The bad kind is when the fear is so heavy, it pulls you down. You literally want to hide under your covers. That fear is a lead blanket, holding you down, paralyzing you.    



I’ve identified 10 signs that will tell you that you should absolutely continue doing THE SCARY THING despite the fear: 
1. Excitement is mixed into the fear. 
You are scared, sure. But there are also moments of pure bliss, where you have to pinch yourself to make sure you’re not dreaming. Because you’re doing it! You’re doing THE SCARY THING you have dreamed of and thought about and agonized over for so long! And in between feeling nauseous and wanting to puke, you’re damn proud of yourself.  

2. You wake up in the morning happy and full of energy. 
On days where you could sleep in, you wake up early, unable to sleep any longer. You have some goal chasing to do! Instead of dreading having to get up, you are eager, because you have work to do. Work that thrills you and that makes you glad to be alive. It’s an amazing feeling.  

3. You have thought and talked about THE SCARY THING about a gazillion times, unable to get it out of your head. 
You have also tried to quit it about a thousand times. And you can’t. That inability to just let go of your dream tells you something very important: That you will regret it if you don’t at least try. I’m a huge believer that trying and failing is much better than not trying at all.  
If you don’t try, you already failed, without even giving you a chance to succeed. I have read repeatedly that people who are at the end of their lives don’t regret the chances they took, but the chances they didn’t take.  



4. You still think about it all the time, but this time with a mix of enthusiasm, anticipation, incredulity, and a healthy dose of “fuck, is this really happening?!” 
Once you’ve embarked upon your journey doing THE SCARY THING, you still think about it all the damn time. It’s the first thought that pops in your head when you wake up and the last one before you fall asleep. You have to make a conscious effort not to talk about it constantly to the small circle who knows about it. But this time, there’s a difference: The nagging sense of disappointment/self-loathing is missing. And oh, it’s glorious.    

5. You admire others who are already doing what you are about to do.
There used to be a time where you envied people their success. Looking at them succeed made you feel like a failure. (Or was that just me?) 
But now it’s different. You are motivated by people who are doing what you want to be doing! Because it shows you that it can be done. And you can learn from them. You may even connect with them at some point, and become part of their tribe! 
A new world is opening up, and nothing seems impossible! 

6. You tell other people about it. 
At first, you only shared your dreams with a select few people: Maybe your partner, or your best friend, or the Internet. (We bloggers are weird.) 
But the more you work towards your goal, the more you start telling other people, because it’s starting to feel like a real possibility – like, this gig could actually work out. As long as it was only in your head, it seemed impossible – but now that you’re doing it, you recognize that by doing it you have moved it from dream to goal – from fantasy to reality.  


7. You seek help. 
The more you learn about it, and about other people who have successfully done what you are doing, the more you realize that they all had help. Every single one of them. You may have been too afraid/unworthy/awkward/proud to ask for help before, but now you do. Because if you don’t you won’t be able to accomplish THE SCARY THING, and you have come this far, it’s too late to quit now! 

8. You sacrifice other things in your life for it: You watch less Netflix, you get up an hour early to work on it; you cancel plans with friends for it. 
Shit is getting real when you are willing to sacrifice Netflix and drinks with the guys! Even weirder, you actually don’t mind doing itYou have a to-do list to do work on! 

9. You are investing money, time, and all your energy in your dream, because it’s that important to you. 
You have repeatedly heard the advice that you have to invest in your business/goals. But until now, you never have, because deep down you were convinced that you aren’t worth it, and that spending money on it would be a waste. Well, all that connecting and asking for help and learning from others is paying off, because now you know that if you don’t believe in yourself, why should anybody else? And if you don’t invest money/time/energy in yourself, why should anybody else? If you are convinced that what you have to contribute to the world is valuable, others will follow. 

10. You wouldn’t change a thing. 
No matter if THE SCARY THING will work out, you are proud of yourself for giving it your all. You are learning lots, not only about THE SCARY THING but also about yourself and others, and you wouldn’t trade this experience for anything in the world! 

xoxo Miriam



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1 comment

  1. I see one of my childhood dreams becoming a reality. Maybe in the next year.

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