Soooo.... today I'm going to get all new-agey on you. Consider yourself warned. If you're not into self-helpy, visualize-your-life-and-it-will-become-true kinda stuff, skip over the words on this post, and just look at the gorgeous dress I bought from Shein, which is sure to become a fall favourite 😍
Alright. Still with me? Awesome.
My parents were here for the last 10 days, and a couple of nights ago, my mom and I had an existential discussion. We have rarely talked about this kind of stuff in the past, because we are completely different people. I'm a dreamer, she's a realist. I want to achieve the seemingly impossible, she's looking at the options at hand and chooses the most practical one. My goals in life have always been happiness and connecting with others, and hers is to fulfill her duty.
Like I said, we have very different outlooks on life.
Our conversation reminded me of that fact once again.
Mom: "So, what's this talk about 'having fun' you all have all the time? I don't have a lot of fun in life, because that's life. And I'm fine with that."
Me: [...]
Also me: "Uhm, I don't even know where to start."
Mom: "I like my life, don't get me wrong. But it's a lot of work, and in the evening I'm tired, and there isn't much time for 'fun'."
She didn't use quotation marks for the word "fun", but she may as well have. She made "fun" sound like a bad word.
Me: "That's why I moved away from Germany, because I wanted life to be more than just work, paying bills, and worrying about what the neighbours think."
Mom: "But I wouldn't know what else to do. I wouldn't want to have your job. I don't want to have as many animals as you guys have."
She then continued to list all the jobs we had encountered throughout our time together: Working as a waitress in a pub/cafe/restaurant, working in a store, being a carpenter/fencer/handyman. She wasn't drawn to any of these occupations.
I had major flashbacks to the year before graduating High School, when I desperately tried to figure out what to do after school, and only knew the "visible" jobs, which were all completely unappealing.
Me: "There are so many more options than what you just said"
Mom (unimpressed): "Hrumph."
We left it at that.
That's just it. If you don't know what your perfect life looks like, you will never get it.
How could you? You wouldn't recognize it if it stared you in the face!
So, if you don't know what you want, you settle. You let your destiny be decided by circumstance; by the power of other people; by whatever happens to present itself to you at the time.
I never wanted to live like that.
I wanted to figure out what would make me truly, insanely, beyond-my-wildest-dreams happy.
And then I wanted to live it.
For some people, life is a chore. It's something they didn't ask for, and they are resigned to somehow get through it, with no bigger ambitions than doing what's expected of them.
But life is a gift. And I refuse to settle. I want to blaze my own path, instead of following the wide street that so many others have walked on before, vaguely dissatisfied with their life without knowing how to fix it.
The first step? Don't look outside at other people - look inside you. Find out who you really are. What's at your core. Your truth is already there, just waiting to be discovered.
The second step: Once you've discovered your truth - own it. Don't let other people doubt you: What's right for you, what makes you happy, what makes your life rich and worthwhile. Nobody knows that better than you do.
We only have one life. It deserves to be celebrated!
And yes, mom, that means to pack as much fun and joy into it as possible.
Dress: Shein
Booties: I bought them used from Instagram, they are originally from Uxibal
Happy Friday!
xoxo Miriam
xoxo Miriam
Linking up with Fashion Should Be Fun, A Pocketful of Polka Dots, Rachel The Hat, Sheela writes, Elegance and Mommyhood and Shelbee on the Edge
Love the dress!
ReplyDeleteLove the sentiment!
Love you!
Love you too!
DeleteI'm so inspired by your beautiful photography!! You're awesome, girl. Life is more than just x-ray 😜
Yes to this. I still sometimes have no idea what I want to do with my life, but I know it's not to just settle and accept anything that happens to me.
ReplyDeleteIt will come. It's a process that develops and evolves over time! It took me years, and I'm still not done yet. There's a simple rule to live by: Do what brings you joy. You will figure it out!
DeleteThat maxi dress with sleeves and those fields of gorgeous sunflowers are perfect for your life + style, Miriam. You look great and such gorgeous photos!
ReplyDeleteWelcome by and join my Thursday Moda linkup babe!
http://eleganceandmommyhood.blogspot.com/2017/08/thursday-moda-78-beach-vacation-floral.html
Thanks Ada! I'm back to more outfit blogging, I'll link up with you regularly again!
DeleteWise words and a super maxi dress - it looks great on you. Thanks for linking up at Fabulous Friday. Jacqui
ReplyDeletewww.mummabstylish.com
Thank you Jacqui! Have a wonderful weekend!
DeleteA-freaking-men, girl! I'm with you all the way! xoxo
ReplyDeleteI knew you would!
DeleteWe're both blazing our own,little,unique trails in this beautiful world. I'm so glad you're out there on your own trail with me!
I love this post so so much. And your pictures are gorgeous.
ReplyDeleteThis is the least complex type of manifestation which you can know. Impressing the subconscious mind quickly
ReplyDelete