I'm stuck creatively. I'm trying to write about happiness, but I can't put my jumbled thoughts into words because I haven't quite figured out what I'm trying to say. It's the most frustrating part of the writing process, but I'm told everybody feels like that from time to time.
In an effort to find my way out of it I thought I'd try to write my way out.
If this post will see the light of being published remains to be seen, but for now I'm typing out whatever crosses my mind:
1. I came back to my home-away-from-home yesterday to 2 surprises: homemade cookies from my housemate (yay!) - and mice in our house (boo). I'm currently working on removing both.
2. On one of my walks the other day I saw an old couple do yard work together. They both looked very old, bow-legged and fragile, but she still bent over to sweep piles of leaves into garbage bags, which he laboriously picked up and dragged to their garage. I'm in awe of their dedication to a clean yard, despite their obvious physical limitations. Seniors are so much tougher than we are!
3. We all know that starting your day with a grateful heart is one of the best and surest ways to have a good day. I love to start my day out slowly, and I'm getting into the habit of consciously noticing what I'm grateful for: my warm bed, Lily by my side, the first sip of coffee, having a warm and safe house, my husband, the great book I'm reading, when I'm feeling creative, having a good poop (it really sets the tone for the day, doesn't it), breakfast, seeing a deer, my other dogs greeting me exuberantly every morning ... honestly, once you get started, you will find more and more things you're grateful for. It's a fun exercise that doesn't take long and will make you happier!
4. I used to hate the holiday season because of recurring feelings of guilt, resentment, longing and anger - all those fun emotions that come up when you're forced to think about family for too long. If the holiday season invokes similar feelings in you, here's some uplifting news: it gets better!
I've worked hard to understand and accept that families are flawed, and that you can't force people to like you or spend time with you, even if they are related to you. For the longest time I clung to the Hollywood-version where flawed families fight and even despise each other, but always end up loving and hugging each other.
It took me years to accept that life doesn't work that way, and that I'm not a bad person, even if someone chooses to cut me out of their life. We all have our reasons why we make our choices, and it often has more to do with the other person than with me.
5. Once again I'm realizing that the changes I was most afraid of making are the best ones.
6. This:
(found on @youhavetojuststart's Instagram)
7. I haven't eaten bananas since May because of mosquitoes (mosquitoes love me, and apparently they love banana-flavored blood even more, so I quit bananas because the blood suckers don't need any more encouragement), but since it's basically winter here and all the mosquitoes died I'm eating them again. I forgot how much I like peanut butter and banana sandwiches - it's been nice to introduce them back into my life.
8. I'm currently fighting off a cold, and combined with my asthma, breathing has become a full-time job. People with no breathing problems: take a moment and thank your un-inflamed lungs for the excellent job they're doing! Lungs are tragically under-appreciated - until they start acting up. Sorry lungs, for taking you for granted all these years!
9. I've run out of topics to write about, which the slightly OCD-side of me can barely stand - we're at number 9, and I can't make it a full 10?! It's killing me!
10. Nope, I got nothing.
Happy Thanksgiving weekend Canada!
Happy weekend rest of the world!
xo Miriam
Trying to create the perfect family image is absolutely the most frustrating thing ever - I am right there with you! When I posted my most recent blog believe me, the backlash has been ridiculous (as if me loving yoga affects any of them...?) Be true to you Miriam, you've got a sister here in MI who loves and supports you in everything!
ReplyDeleteAlso, bananas are the BEST. I never really liked them until I discovered the banana/PB combo as well. I haven't tried sandwiches, but I do love freezing them, blending them up into a smoothie, and topping it with - you guessed it - PEANUT BUTTER!
xoxo
Samantha
I know I will upset a lot of people by saying this, but I'm saying it anyway: PB+banana is better than PB+J! (Yes, I just went there.)
DeleteI'm so sorry that your family is so unsupportive when it comes to your yoga. It's incomprehensible to me how they could have a problem with something that's proven to be so good for you physically and mentally, will help others, and provide you with an additional source of income to boot! But I know from personal experience how baffling families can be, and I have since learnt that you can create a happy and fulfilling life even without the approval of family. Such a liberating concept!
I'm always there for you if you need to talk, or just want to vent!
Your goals are amazing, and you will help so many people! Keep on being you!!
Who knew about the banana thing and mosquitoes. They love me during the summer, but I don't even eat bananas so unfortunately I can't blame them! However, I eat peanut butter every day. Hope you get out of your writing rut. The creative process is truly unpredictable.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it? Nothing frustrates me more (when it isn't working) or gives me greater pleasure when it is. I've learnt that writing my way out of it is more effective than waiting for inspiration to strike - it doesn't work unless I do.
DeleteI'm so excited for your book to come out! I can't wait to read it, it sounds fantastic! Let me know if you want me to be a beta reader, I would be honored to do that for you!