Creating my happy life on the other side of fear.

Thursday, 17 April 2014

Passion


This is one of those days where I sat down about an hour ago, with the vague intention of answering my emails, catching up on blog reading (still one of the best parts of every day!), and maybe, just maybe write something myself.

I have no idea where this might go - all I know is that I have the overwhelming need to write.

For all you lucky creators out there, this is probably a familiar sensation. Artists, writers, knitters, jewelery makers, painters, DIYers, sewers, photographers, cooks, bakers - you all most likely know this feeling - when inspiration strikes, adrenaline starts to flow and you have to, really have to create something. It's an urge, a need, not an option.
Everything else ceases to exist. Food, family, your favourite book - they all become so unimportant.
You need to get to work on your inspiration right.this.minute, before it disappears! You need to let your creative juices flow!

Gosh, am I ever fortunate to experience this sensation. It's like nothing else I have ever felt before. It makes you feel alive, excited, positively buzzing with energy.
It gives my life meaning and joy.


You see, when you never thought of yourself as a creative person, and then you accidently discover that actually, you sort of are, it's like finding this treasure buried in your back yard - it was always there, you just didn't know it. It is absolutely amazing.

For years, I made music. I started out with the xylophone in Kindergarten. Then the flute, piano, and with 14, the organ.

That's me, 2 days before my 15th birthday, playing at a Christmas concert.

I wish I could tell you that I love it. I always wanted to love making music. I stuck with it for so many years - surely I was fueled by passion?
Turns out, people can do things for years and years (a lifetime?), and not love it. I did it out of obligation.
Because people told me I was talented. Because they needed me (for church services). Because I already invested so many years taking lessons, countless hours of practice, rehearsing over and over - I thought I should just stick with it.

But then, a little over a year ago, I discovered a true passion. Something that took my breath away.

That made me so wildly happy, that I was compelled to take a hard look at this organ playing of mine (the flute had long gone out the window), and realize: I did not only not love it, but it was a burden.

So I had to do what needed to be done: Fess up and break up with it. Music and I are together no more.

And it feels good. Right. The only logical thing to do.

Because now I know what passion feels like. Sitting down in front of my computer, fingers poised over the keyboard, makes me all sorts of giddy. I need to hold on to this feeling forever!
Writing and I, we are getting serious.

What is your passion in life?

xoxo Miriam  

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3 comments

  1. You're so right, sometimes it is easy to make excuses to stick with something because you're good at it vs being passionate about it. It also takes a lot of courage to admit that and make the break! Happy you found something you love (and that I get to share the fun!) :-) By the way, I really love that flower photo!

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  2. I played the flute, too! Only for 2 years because then I was a dumb kid worried about looking like a "nerd." I wish I would've kept up with it. I loved it and I actually did really well!

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  3. "Writing and I, we are getting serious" love it and it made me giggle. Love to hear when people are figuring it out :) I played the flute too, put only a year and b/c my Dad made me try band for a year.

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