Saturday 17 October 2015

10 Things I wish I had

Last night as I was sitting at my desk, eating sour candy, trying to memorize our national anthem and online window shopping at the same time, several thoughts struck me. Life is good, and I am grateful for everything I have. However, that doesn't mean that there isn't room for improvement, right? There is always room for improvement. If I could upgrade myself to the 2.0 version, there are a few features I would give myself:

A photographic memory.
This has been my fervent desire ever since I started school and had to memorize poems, the names of dozens of dead kings, and the worst of it all: learn Latin. Memorization is not a strong skill of mine, and a photographic memory would be really handy.

A better memory.
If not a photographic memory, could I at least have a better memory? By now I must have spent thousands of hours on learning stuff, and what for? To have forgotten most of it. It's really annoying. Do you know those people who can remember a poem they learnt in elementary school 50 years ago, and they can still recite it now? I do, and I'm deeply envious of those people.  

No sweet tooth.
Lately my craving for sweets is out of control. I feel like I should put a stop to it for a while, but while my mind is willing, my flesh is weak and screaming for sugar. In the spirit of being kind to yourself I justify it by reminding myself that if my body wants it, it must need it - but I suspect I'm being lied to by my own body.    

A smaller butt.
I know, I know, self love, shmelf love. I should be proud of my bootie for being large and in charge, but it does get in the way sometimes. I have been trying - unsuccessfully, I might add - to lift up the old bum-oley for L-sit, an exceedingly difficult exercise that I'm completely useless at. I blame it on the generous proportions of my buttocks, in combination with short arms and not enough core strength. To solve at least one of these problems, I'm requesting a smaller butt. 

More patience.
Impatience is my old nemesis, and I wish I could get rid of it. All the yoga in the world won't fix my constant urge to roll my eyes and shove slower people out of the way. But unless they invent a chill pill, I guess I have to keep on trying. 

Bigger balls.
Figuratively of course, not literally. I am a whimp more often than I care to admit, and I wish I could be tougher sometimes. My pushover-tendencies are cramping my fledgling self-confidence, damn it. 

More money for frivolities.
Most of the time I'm a less-is-more kinda gal, and try to cultivate a somewhat minimalistic approach to life. Until I walked into Chapters the other day and was enveloped in a winter wonderland, with the decor items my dreams are made of. It's all plush, plaid, cozy knits, antlers, reindeers, reds and golds this season, and I want it all.   

A self-cleaning house.
I did a thorough cleaning of my house three days ago, and guess what? It's dirty again. The whole cleaning cycle is so pointless, it makes me wanna pull my hair out. How come we are sending people into outer space, but haven't yet designed houses that don't get dirty? Whoever manages that nifty trick will never have to work a day in their life again. I should get on that.

A (log) home in the dreamy valley we discovered last month.
Guys, I am restless, and I can't seem to forget this beautiful valley with the fresh mountain air. I think we need a second home. Definitely more money to be able to afford it. Ugh.    

Mad handstand skillz. 
I wanna handstand (for longer than 2 seconds), and I want it now. (See what I mean with my impatience? It's a curse.)

If a genie would grant you three ten wishes, what would you ask for? 



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