Doing it despite the fear.

Friday, 11 December 2015

You got this



I wanted to quickly pop in today and tell you something that's been on my mind lately. It's an epiphany I had that I need to share.
Over the last few weeks I have been consumed with my book. It's almost, almost done! It's in the final stage, only hours (or maybe a couple of days) away from completion. It should be done before Christmas, which is insane and a Christmas miracle to me. Aaahhh!!

Guys, it's been such a wild ride. I have been delving deeply into my past, exploring how I got to where I am today. Turns out, the story of my life is how clueless I was. I didn't know anything: What sort of career I would like to have. Where to live. Whether or not to have kids. I didn't even have real hobbies or passions. 
I knew nothing.

But I realized something. If there is one lesson I have learnt in the first third of my life, it's that we don't have to know. Don't panic if you feel completely mystified about your future, and don't know what to do. You will figure it out.

As long as you remain curious and open to the world around you, you will get little clues from the universe. They come in many shapes: A documentary on TV. People you meet who are doing stuff you never even heard of, but feel intrigued by. You may find inspiration online, through articles, blogs, even Instagram.
Do you know how I ended up finding my passions? It's a crazy story.

It all started several years ago at work. We were talking, and one of the girls mentioned Pinterest. At that time I had never heard of it, and didn't know what she was talking about. She filled us in, and I quickly became hooked.
One day, I came across a pin that would change my life.

That one.

source

I had developed a bit of a thing for cellphone photography, and was always looking for new ideas on what to do with photos. I clicked through to the website, and thus got my very first look at a blog: A Beautiful Mess. After the initial confusion ("how the heck does this website work?") I was intrigued. So much so, that I decided shortly after that I would start my own blog. I even mention ABM in my first post! You can tell by looking at it that I didn't know what I was doing. It makes me laugh, and also proud of the girl who just went for it, despite not knowing a thing about blogging. Well done past-Miriam!

Anyway, blogging opened up a new world for me. While it can be a legitimate career for some people, it wasn't that for me. My blog served another purpose: To find myself. It helped me to overcome my inhibitions, and face decades worth of insecurities and self-doubt.
I came to terms with my depression.
I learnt that I'm an introvert.
I found my peace about the baby-question.

And I found two hobbies that would enrich my life in ways I never imagined: yoga and writing.

My blog friend Mary is an avid yogi, and I follow her journey on Instagram. Once in a while I would wistfully comment how much I missed it, having done some yoga classes in the past. She always encouraged me to give it a try again.
Finally, I did. On March 1st of this year, I restarted my yoga journey, and haven't looked back. It has become my passion, my teacher, and a beautiful way to connect with others. I love it deeply.

My writing journey is an open book for you, my dear readers. Literally. It all started here, with this little blog. I've made all my mistakes on here, and continue to do so. I've laid my dreams out here for the world to see. And thanks to my blog, there will be a book out there with my name on it very soon.


What I have learnt throughout it all, is that you have to become best friends with yourself. Get to know yourself. Don't be afraid to look at the good, the bad and the ugly. The ugly is the interesting part! Once you can accept yourself, your life will become indefinitely easier. Other people can't hurt you any more by trying to use your weaknesses against you, because you have come to terms with them already. Once you have gotten to that part, the opinion of other people becomes less and less important.
Many posts on my blog have been written because I struggled with other people. Because I felt so insecure.
Don't get me wrong, I still do sometimes. But it's getting better all the time. I've never felt so at peace with myself like I do now.

And I'm confident: You and I, we got this.

   



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