Saturday 9 April 2016

It's been one of those weeks

My brain has been a huge mess this week. It usually is; but his week was worse than usual. 
I started (and abandoned) a post about the wedding dress that never was (I never wore white, something I regret to this day).
I started (and abandoned) a post about feeling panicky, sad, and anxious (you dodged a bullet there; it was pretty depressing). 
I started (and abandoned) a post about weight and body woes (again, thank your lucky stars).
I started (and abandoned) a post about how to unlock your creativity (that one is actually a good one; I am planning on finishing and posting it at some point in the not-too-distant future).
None of these posts were meant to be at this point in time, I guess.* 

*Here's a little aside: I have it on good authority (i.e. confessionals of writers and bloggers) that everybody has them. The piles and piles of unpublished stuff that's sitting somewhere in draft folders, word documents and note books, to be hopefully finished one day, but more often than not cast aside forever. What you get to see is only a tiny tip of a huge, depressing iceberg.  

I could name a number of reasons: A bit stressed out, a bit sick, money, a beloved pet sick, a few other things. All these reasons are part of it, sure; but the real reason is just life

Life sucks sometimes. You take on too much, then life piles on some more, and suddenly you're overwhelmed. Throw in some curveballs like illness, problems with friends, or unexpected bills, and you're ready to bury yourself in your bed for days. Except you can't, because you have more on your plate than ever, and who will take care of it if not you?!

Let's just pause here for a minute and reassure ourselves: We ALL have days/weeks like that. It sucks, there is no doubt about that. 

But then try to think back to your childhood, the time that was allegedly innocent and worry-free: 
Do you remember the fear you felt when you didn't finish your homework for Mr. Baumgartner? Or the mortification of your crush/hopefully one-day boyfriend seeing you after gym class, bangs off-kilter, with your pimply forehead on display? (The bangs' only job being to hide said pimples. YOU HAD ONE JOB ...)

Let's not even go to the mortification that comes with irregularly starting periods, adhering to no schedule whatsoever (jerks!), playing a particularly mean version of Russian roulette. Let's just say that the sweater tied around my waist was more than a fashion statement: It was a means for survival.

Nothing comes even close to these catastrophes. I was sure that my life was over at least 8 times so far, which a) either means that I am a cat (and have to start being way more cautious now), or b) that I have a bit of a dramatic streak. 

At least now we have alcohol to soothe the pain, right?!

So yeah, life is GRAND.


Instead of hiding under the covers (which I will do in a few minutes anyway), I wanted to let you know that if you had a shitty week, you are not alone. 
And if you didn't, I'm happy for you!
Our time will come again. Life is a continuous flow of ups and downs, and we are all here for the ride, having to brave the waves when they come. 

As one of my patients said today: "The good news is: I'm not dying yet. The bad news is: I will be dying eventually."

Morbid? Maybe. But so very true.

To quote a beloved co-worker: 
See you in the funny papers.


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