Tuesday, 24 March 2015

It's not easy being a chick + Let's grow together {Link-up #12}

Alternative title: 5 6 things I wish my husband wouldn't know about me.


Personal grooming for women is serious business. I consider myself pretty low-maintenance: no make-up on most days, hair in a ponytail or messy bun, nail polish only once in a while when the mood strikes me.
And yet, there are a myriad of embarrassing rituals I have choose to go through on a regular basis to keep up with the current standards of beauty.  
It's been a while since I have embarrassed myself on the internet, and I thought it's time. Let's dive right in to some cringe-worthy truths about being a girl (or being me), shall we?

1. I shave my toes.
Is there a reason why girls have to have hair on their toes? I thought long and hard about this, and for the life of me I couldn't think of one. It's not enough to keep the feet warm, so that can't be it. Some evolutionary remnants from our ancestors perhaps, but it begs the question: The hair is almost gone, why couldn't all of it disappear? If these few last remnants simply exist to mock us, it's working, because it's annoying as hell. Boys, did you know that you can get your toes waxed? True story.

2. Sometimes, my belly button is acting up.
Belly button hygiene is a greatly neglected part of my daily bathroom routine. Here is a question for you: What do you use to keep your navel clean? Q-tip? Washcloth? Or do you simply let water and soap run over it and call it a day? If that's your approach then you have probably noticed that it is only partly successful. It will be fine for months, until the day when you suddenly notice that it is a wee bit red - and smells strange. Whenever this happens I attack it with alcohol, and that works perfectly. However, any tips on a regular belly button cleaning routine are greatly appreciated!

3. My leg hair grows so freakishly fast, I used to lie when my husband asked me if I had shaved today ("No, it was 2 days ago" - when I had shaved just that morning). Now I simply shrug and tell him that he is lucky to have such a healthy wife - surely any sort of growth is a good thing?

4. When I'm stressed, I get an angry rash in a delicate spot (no, I won't tell you which delicate spot).
It's itchy and embarrassing. On the bright side, only three people know about it: My husband, my doctor, and myself - and now you. I've had it for years, and there is nothing to do about it apart from not getting stressed - which is the kind of pressure that stresses me out. It's a lose/lose situation.

5. The soles of my feet are made of dragon skin.
True story.
Okay okay, it's not a true story. But it very well could be! Pedicures are no luxury, they are a necessity for me. I get it from my mom: her, my sis and I are all blessed cursed with extra-tough skin on the soles of our feet. Which comes in handy when walking barefoot; hot sand, rocks or gravel are no biggie for us. I have never tried walking over hot coals, but are confident that it would be a breeze. Sadly, it's not a good look in sandals. With sandal season coming up, so will regular appointments at the nail salon  - oh, the sacrifices we women have to make! ;-)

Plus a bonus point, unrelated to grooming issues yet still something I'd have preferred if Rich would have never found out about me:
6. I eat at lightning speed.
The first time I let my guard down in front of Richard and ate like I usually do, he was so startled he dropped his fork. "Why do you eat so fast?", he asked me with astonishment. Well, it's simple, really: My primal instincts are well honed and kick in as soon as sustenance is within reach. I can't help it - it's nature versus nurture. The good news is, whenever we share a food platter, I get all the best pieces because he can't keep up. Score!

Ladies, now it's your turn: share your grooming/bodily function secrets!






Farm Girl


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16 comments

  1. Haha, so true. There are lots of things that I do that I wish Miha didn't know about me but our apartment is so small, I can't avoid him all the time! Like finding the perfect lighting for those pesky chin hairs, ugh!

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  2. LOL all of these are some of the reasons I'm ok with being single - no one else knows!! I definitely know what you're talking about with the hair on the toes - my sister and I have nicknamed the syndrome, "Hobbit Feet"!
    ~ Samantha

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  3. When I get overly stressed or lacking in sleep I get water blisters in my fingers that are so gross looking so at least your rash no one can really see!

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  4. Love this! Isn't it funny that there is still so much work to do even on a low maintenance day there is still so much to do. Really, toe hair is just stupid. I agree, it should be extinct by now. ;-)

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  5. Hilarious!! I too wonder about the hair on toes. Mine is very fair so I don't do anything about it, but it still brings me curiosity.
    Weird thing for me - my toenails grow freakishly fast and are crazy tough. Like I have to really press down on the clippers to clip them. They're weapons.

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  6. Haha love this Miriam! Sadly I get the man's "treasure trail" ...you know, the strip of hair from the belly button down to the groin....I hafta use Veet or Nair to get rid of it during the summer bikini months!
    -Linds

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  7. Yup, know those. We are so advanced (regressed?) now that we have entered the stage where Rich points them out to me - and I appreciate it. Gah! No more mysteries in our marriage!

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  8. Totally! There is no bigger lie than a stunning woman, smooth-skinned, hair-free and put together proclaiming "I woke up like this". Sadly, none of us does.

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  9. Yup, I have said that myself! Hobbit feet is double-true due to hair and dragon soles lol!

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  10. So unfair, the things we have to go through. I blame hormones (I always do), they can't leave us women alone!

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  11. Haha I know, right?! I don't know how some ladies manage to do the whole nine yard every day with full make-up, hair, nails and outfit done to perfection. It's awe-inspiring!

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  12. Which may come in very handy one day, you never know! A girl can never have too many weapons in these dangerous times ;-) I have decided to regard all the annoying traits of my body as special gifts that are there for a reason, even if I don't know what the reason is - yet. It will reveal itself one day.

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  13. Yes I know what you mean, a friend of mine has that too. It's super-sexy on guys - maybe it will become trendy for girls one day? Sadly, not yet.

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  14. Hahah, aw man that is the cutest <3

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  15. Oh man, so many things we have to do to keep up with the grooming! I shave my legs everyday, mine grows fast too...so gross. If I could afford it I would have all my hair lasered off :) I have my whole face threaded, I have fine, thank goodness blond hair but I still don't like it.

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  16. There have never been any truer words spoken!!

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