Thursday 21 May 2015

An ode to the awesomeness of small breasts


Let me tell you a little story:
It was summer, I was 17 and I had the time of my life: I was in the south of France with my school class for ten days. We did a lot of sightseeing and educational stuff, but on day five we all went to the beach. I had bought a new bikini for the occasion, and felt pretty good: tanned, happy and only moderately self-conscious. Until I noticed the boys standing around, snickering and repeatedly looking in my direction. “What’s your problem?” I called out to them. They laughed some more, and then one of them shouted back: “You forgot your boobs!”

It sure looked like it. You see, I had been waiting patiently for my boobs to grow ever since I was 14. Since they stubbornly refused, I did what any girl would do: Bought a few push-up bras and faked it. This worked just fine, until that day at a beach in France: I had made the tactical error of not buying a push-up bikini. My usually C-cup looking breasts were on display in their natural A-cup size, and the boys had noticed.

Needless to say, I was mortified. I cursed teenage boys, the boob-growing gods for failing me, my genes, and my own stupidity in the bikini-buying department. How could I not have foreseen this?
It took me several more years, but in the end I made peace with my small breasts. Not only that, in the last decade I have grown extremely fond of them and their manageable size.

With summer upon us and boobiliciousness on display everywhere, I thought it's important for us small-chested girls to remind ourselves of the many advantages we have compared to our more well-endowed sisters.

So I compiled a list of 20 reasons why small boobs are awesome:

1. No boob sweat.
2. You ace the pencil test every time.
3. Bras? Who needs them?
4. Then again, if an outfit requires some cleavage, you can create the illusion with a push-up bra. Hopefully, teenage boys are not part of your daily life to point out the lack of breasts when you take the bra off – and if they are, you are now confident enough to tell them to shut up. 
5. Sleeping on your stomach is not only possible, but comfortable.
6. Gravity is not your enemy. 
(This will never be you.)

7. You can run without being hit in the face.
8. Ditto for horseback riding: No fear of being knocked out by your own boobs.  
9. Handstands. 
10. Men will notice your pretty eyes since they are not being distracted by something more interesting farther south.
11. No back pain caused by heavy breasts.
12. If you don’t want to look sexual, you won’t. Keep your push-up bra in the drawer for the day and you are fine.
13. You can wear button-down shirts without having to fear the dreaded button gap.
14. You can wear backless dresses.
15. Same goes for triangle bikini tops: no support, no problem.
16. You never have to worry about the shirt mullet, created by big boobs causing a top to be shorter in the front than the back.
17. Small breasts are never in the way when exercising.
18. If you spill food, it won’t land on your shirt, but falls straight down (or, if you are me, on your white pair of jeans).
19. From the waist up you look petite, even if you are not.
20. Trampolines are fun!

Ladies, show off your girls with pride, no matter the size! We are all beautiful. 



  1. Ha! Right there with you girl! One thing I've learned though is when you start gaining any bit of weight later in life, they're one of the first things to show up!

  2. Hahahaha! This was awesome. You are funny :) boob sweat is the WORST ever.

  3. LOL!! Too funny M. I've never really been overly worried about being a member of the tangerine club ;) All great points!

  4. This list is full of reasons I want to get mine reduced. Big boobs are such a pain! I don't know why anyone would choose to have them.

  5. Haha love this post! I totally agree with all the benefits!
    However, I am small boob-ed myself and I am always still nervous to go without a bra because even though my boobs are small it can still get chilly, and shall we say, a little bit nipply outside!

  6. Also, what's the pencil test? I think I'm outta the loop on that one.

  7. So true, and that's not a bad thing ;-) Big or small, it doesn't really matter. Boobs are not that important!

  8. Thanks Amanda! :-) I still remember boob sweat from waaaay back when I was 25 pounds heavier and my boobs were a bit bigger than they are now. I never forgot it, so annoying!

  9. Tangerines forever! So much easier than lugging around melons lol

  10. Oh, tons of people want them! Boob jobs are more popular than ever. That's why I felt I had to speak up for us small-chested girls ;-)
    I work in mammography and see lots of ladies who had breast reduction surgery. The feedback is overwhelmingly positive, they are all happy that they had it done. If that's something you are considering, good luck with it!

  11. You put a pencil under your boob, and if it falls down you aced it ;-)

  12. Yup, I totally know what you mean. Damn those nipples haha!

  13. There is absolutely nothing incorrect with small breasts! If you are miserable with your breast size than you can take actions to enhance your breast size but you must know that anything you do should be for your very own individual happiness not to please other individuals.
    brestrogen reviews


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