Creating my happy life on the other side of fear.

Tuesday, 1 July 2014

Cellulite vs thigh gap

Scenes of a marriage, act 873. 
It is a warm summer evening. Husband and wife sit outside in the sun, enjoying the peaceful evening and each other. The mosquitos start to come out - husband spies one on his wife's thigh and  helpfully points it out to her: "Dear, there is a mosquito on your cellulite."

Say-WHAT????

Guys, if any members of the male population are reading this, here is a useful hint for a happy relationship: Do never, under no circumstances, point out your lady's cellulite. In case you are unfamiliar with the term, here is what it looks like:
No, this is not me. But it could be. (source)

All women have it. To reassure myself, I googled "cellulite" and found about a gazillion pictures of hot women with cellulite. (Sorry to throw you under the bus sisters, but you really made me feel better. Now I want to do the same for my fellow girls who are reading this.)

Despite it being normal and all that, I still felt it necessary to disappear into the house in a huff, and blow off some steam (by vacuuming - at least it was productive) before I returned outside to my blunt husband's side. (It's the German in him. We Germans can be honest to a fault.) He doesn't understand when I get like that. "You always say you want honesty", he (rightfully) points out. "Yes, but don't be insulting", I counter.
"I don't give a shit about your lumps and bumps" he tells me, and I believe him. He really doesn't. 
So why is it so hard for us women to simply accept the facts?

I'm pretty confident in my body. I know it's far from being perfect, but I'm happy with it and it works for me. 
But am I immune to the media's relentless onslaught of pictures of perfect bodies? Sadly, not always.    
On the same day of the cellulite incident, I actually felt pretty smug just hours before. After going on a hike with a friend, I felt accomplished and proud, and relaxed in our yard in the sun. 
And then this happened:

Yes, I took one of those sausage photos. No, I'm not proud of it. And I'm even less proud of the thought that crossed my mind: "Hey, I have a thigh gap!"
Guys,  I've had these legs for 34 years now, and until last year I was not aware of such a thing as a "thigh gap". If it wasn't for the media pointing this out to us, I would never have known that there is supposed to be a gap, and if there is, that it is something to be proud of. It's ridiculous. I have wide hips, which is the main reason that my legs don't touch in the middle. That is all. 

I don't want to be the person who cares about that. Cellulite, wrinkles, flabby skin - these are all completely normal side effects of aging. Or they should be. But we are being told that we have to "fight the signs of aging", "reverse time", "look younger now than you did 10 years ago". Why? Who has decided that smooth skin is the only beautiful thing in the world?
She is gorgeous. Also, can I have her side bangs please? (source)

I confess:
I have laugh lines, and I want to love them. I don't necessarily do (yet), but I want to. They are proof of so many happy times!

Right now I only wear sandals when I also wear nail polish. Wtf, why? Because I think that's what I'm supposed to do? Don't get me wrong, I love colourful nails, but I don't always have the time/patience (mostly patience) do do my nails. Why should my poor feet go to jail because of my laziness? Toesies, you can now see the light of day even without wearing a pretty dress (aka nail polish)!

I want to stop caring about my lumps and bumps. We all have them, so what? I have calculated that I will have my "special time of the month" when we are on vacation in 3 weeks (yuck), and it threatens my dress plans. You see, I have clothes I wear on "skinny" days and also some for "bloated" days. Boys, trust me, all girls do. 
But here is the thing: Why don't I just throw caution to the wind and take some of the skinny ones anyway? Just because? I mean, we are on a cruise. Food nirvana. Everybody will look bloated, right?

Luckily, I have my truth teller right there with me, who will without a doubt let me know if my cellulite is showing or not. And if it does? I will just have to show it off, loud and proud!
After all, if Beyonce rocks it, so can I. 

Do you have any confessions to share? Link up with Kathy!

Love, 
bare-toed and laugh-lined Miriam

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22 comments

  1. Ahh, this post is refreshing, I just wrote my post before checking my feed to see this one, just boosted my self esteem! I dont have a thigh gap, I am short and fluffy...but I dont care anyways, havent had one of those since maybe high school. And I sometimes wear my flops without nail polish too, who cares, people dont have to stare at my feet lol. Happy Hump Day!

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  2. I used to be obsessed with thigh gap in high school - I thought you had to have it to look good. Now, my ideal body image is a lot different - to be fit and healthy. There are a lot of fit, healthy people without a thigh gap!! I had PMS the other day and was bloated - I put on my jeans that are a little tight, and it was not happening haha. When I am feeling bloated, I go for comfort jeans.

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  3. My 17 year old cousin kept telling me about the thigh gap and I didn't understand the obsession but after a while I found out that the media (duhhh) was creating this expectation and know I find myself looking for it lol... good on you for your thigh gap ;)

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  4. I love those sandals and they do not need polish to look great! Also I think you look amazing and I think are a great inspiration for being stylish and great looking!

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  5. Love this. Great post. The media has placed such strict requirements for beauty and anyone outside of those lines have to fix it ... now! Its soooooo ridiculous. You look great and thigh gap, cellulite or not Im sure that would be the case.

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  6. I love your honesty! Found you through the Confessions! So excited that I did!

    I have such thigh cellulite it isn't even funny... I mean, I'm learning to love it.. just like my laugh lines and the lines in my forehead... (too much eyebrow raising I suppose)... But, sometimes, I'm like .. JEEEEEZ GO AWAY!

    http://katerivonstealsnewlife.blogspot.com/2014/07/happy-humpday-confessionals.html

    Come check out my confessions!!!

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  7. Don't even sweat it Sweetie! "Perfect" is over-rated and you are great just the way you are!!

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    1. Aww make me blush, why don't you? ;-) I generally feel pretty good in my skin, but there are those days where I feel the need to smooth out my wrinkles in pictures... but I'm working on that. Natural is beautiful!

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  8. Yay for laugh lines! Definitely agree with your philosophy on them too! :) It's definitely hard to learn how to love all of the imperfections, but life is just too short to not enjoy food nirvanas to the fullest. :D

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  9. I don't believe for a second you have cellulite :) You have very nice legs! This was a great message. I don't know why thigh gap is a thing.

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  10. Preach it, sista! So good and true.

    And with sandals that cute, who needs painted toes? Rock it!

    -Amy

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  11. You made me giggle, love this post! :)

    http://confessionalprofessionaldramaqueen.blogspot.co.uk/

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  12. haha, all of this is so true! I don't have much of a thigh gap, but i'm okay with that. i've never felt the need to measure beauty by how much of a gap between my thighs i have (or don't have!) :P

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  13. Freaking thigh gap. Yet another thing I will blame pinterest for! I think everyone cares about lumps and bumps because so few people post pictures of their cellulite and bulges for fear of being judged. It's a vicious cycle.

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  14. I have cellulite and laugh lines and forehead stress wrinkles. And none of these things are worth the time, money or energy to change. Although I still cringe when I see any of it in photos of myself!

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  15. i feel like i could have written this. i'm all about encouraging other people to have positive body image and to screw the media, but i am the first one to screw my nose up in disgust when i see myself in the mirror or a photo. oh well. one day i'll get there. and i have wide hips too, my legs and booty are the biggest part of me, complete with a lot of cellulite lol. and i have that stupid thigh gap too.

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  16. My grandmother had white hair and so I hope I have it too. But I won't cut it short like the "old lady thing to do". I want it long like the lady in the photo. To me, that is beautiful.

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  17. Laugh lines are GORGEOUS wrinkles to have! :)

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  18. I'm with Kate, I cringe when I see photos of my size 4 self with the wrinkle between my eyes because I'm blind. It's sick and I HATE it. No thigh gap here, oh well :)

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  19. tooo funny, aren't husbands adorable sometimes? love this post...thigh gap is new to me too !!!

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    1. I first heard about it on Pinterest, apparently it's a thing amongst teenage girls. Not a good message to put out there!
      I'm usually pretty happy with myself, but once in a while social pressure still gets me and I worry about stuff like cellulite, wrinkles, grey hair and the like. It's a work in progress!

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