Thursday 18 December 2014

"Are you ready for Christmas?"

If your life is anything like mine, then you have been asked this very question numerous times over the last few days. (Eight times, to be exact. Eight.times.)

If there is another, more anxiety-inducing question out there, please share. Because this one is driving me to eat obscene amounts of chocolate, which jeopardizes my outfit plans for New Year's eve - if I don't stop soon, I won't fit into my party dress. 

Here is the thing: I thought I'm ready. I put up the decorations before December 1 (a first for me!), ordered presents, wrapped presents, set up our family dinner. For one split second I leaned back, smug little smile on my face, and gave myself a pat on the shoulder for a job well done.

And then the first Christmas card arrived, and reality smacked me in the face with a good one: I'm not ready. Nowhere near it! 
Here is a list of all the things I didn't do:
  • Write Christmas cards
  • Send out our annual Christmas email
  • Bake cookies
  • Bring said cookies into work and share with my co-workers
  • Listen to Christmas carols
  • Drink mulled wine
  • Drink eggnogg
  • Wear Christmas sweaters and/or jewellery
  • Watch Christmas movies
  • Donate money to every bell-ringing Salvation Army-volunteer I see

Instead, what I have done so far is this:
  • Displayed the received Christmas cards haphazardly on the shelf, with the intention of thanking the sender (which I haven't done yet)
  • Telling myself sternly every morning that "today is the day I will take a Christmas-like photo of the man, some of the dogs (maybe the horses too?) and me and get on with sending out the email" - and then not doing it
  • Stuff my face with the home-baked, lovingly decorated cookies my co-workers brought into work
  • Change the station as soon as a Christmas song comes on (to be honest, I'm a bit sick of them)
  • Not bother to make mulled wine, and drink wine straight from the bottle instead
  • Hating eggnogg (always have, always will)
  • Not wear any Christmas-inspired clothing or jewellery because I don't own any
  • Not watch any Christmas movies, because I spend every free minute watching Gilmore Girls and re-runs of Mr. Selfridge
  • Look away shame-faced when I see yet another person asking for money and hurry past most of them

Before you accuse me of being the biggest scrooge ever, let me tell you that this year I'm actually more in the mood than most years. But Christmas is just a bit too much for me. Yes, here's the truth: I can't handle the full shebang. You win, Christmas!

That's the problem with December: The entire month is one giant countdown. That deadline used to haunt me in my dreams: Gotta remember to send the cards out in time. When is the last day I can order something online for it to arrive in time for Christmas? Which well-meaning, but ultimately stress-inducing people will show up with a gift and I didn't get anything for them? 
Oh, the problems of first-world countries.

Christmas can seem like the biggest competition of the year, and most of us are doomed to lose. I mean, who can compete with that? Not this girl. (It's beautiful, don't get me wrong! I simply could never create something like it, which used to make me sad.) 
Or do you remember the Two and a Half Man-episode with Alan's Christmas-obsessed crazy girlfriend? She did this:
Santa's village of the Damned source

I mean, seriously. As long as there are people out there who can create this insane Christmas wonderland, the rest of us may as well give up. Which I seriously intended to do several times over the years, but have never managed. Because that's the other thing about Christmas: It's so in your face and omnipresent, you can't escape it. If you can't beat them, join them, right? 
But make peace with the knowledge that you will always suck at the whole Christmas business. 

Which is what I have done. So, to answer your question: No, I am not ready for Christmas, and I never will be. But there is something liberating about checking out of the race, and I am actually enjoying the season quite a bit, with or without eggnogg. And who knows? I may even watch a Christmas movie over the holidays. 

Just don't expect a Christmas card from me.

Are you getting stressed about Christmas, or are you a die-hard fan?    

xoxo Miriam



  1. this line in regards to eating too much chocolate: "if I don't stop soon, I won't fit into my party dress." HAHA I just said this to my coworker.
    I am in more of a Christmas spirit this year then I have in past years. I got all my shopping done in two days, decorated the house, bought and put up our tree... even watched It's a Wonderful Life. I still have to wrap the gifts and buy stocking stuffers but I am ready. The only think I am not doing is sending out Christmas cards. Not because I am lazy but because I lost a lot of addresses in the big IOS update. I have a few blank cards left from last year which I will send to out of town relatives. I am not going to stress over breaking the tradition this one time.

  2. Neither...I wish I could get more excited but that will come once I'm home in Michigan! Once I'm done with college, I would LOVE to be the one with the cute decorations, great card, yummy treats...(basically, I want to be my sister lol). All I've done so far this year is buy and wrap presents, watch Christmas movies, and write some Christmassy posts on my blog. Yes, we have been in full-swing Christmas mode since like Halloween at work so at least I can get my dose of festivity there!
    ~ Samantha

  3. Uhh, I find myself exhausted every single time someone asks, "Are you ready for Christmas?"

    Cards have gone out and presents have been bought...but that's about it. We have no decorations up, the presents are stacked in the closet, and I think I'm out of tissue paper for bag-wrapping. I'm tired just thinking about it.

  4. I see what you mean but Christmas being one giant countdown. Maybe this is why my dad has always been super bummed when it's over. I swear every Dec 26 he goes into depression. ha! Get as ready as you can and just enjoy the season! And the cookies :)

  5. Hey Miriam, don't worry, I'm more of a scrooge than you! Christmas just isn't my time of year. I happen to only see the negative "fake" side of it and I just find it excessively depressing.

  6. I'm a total scrooge, though I like to think I'm a slacker more than hating the holiday:) I just can't get myself worked up into doing a bunch of stuff and buying a bunch of stuff for one month. P and I just aren't that into the whole thing, and I'm ok with that...though I may be kicked out of Blogland for it :) I like the cookie part though! I like to do an eggnog baked good at some point and that way you can cross off eggnog and baking. We have two boxes of Christmas decor that we have never open and I'm not sure we will and the more I think about it the more I'm ok with that.


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