Here is a little-known fact about me: I went to school with a genius. We didn't run in the same circles at school (I definitely wasn't part of the smart kids), but we did share the same piano teacher once upon a time. That and the fact that we graduated the same year from the same school are the only similarities between us.
Johannes is an assistant professor of psychology and public affairs at Princeton, a fact I didn't know until he posted something on Twitter: His "CV of failures".
This is my senior class from high school. I circled him and myself. Puberty wasn't kind to one of us, feel free to laugh! I sure did. In my defense, someone dumped a glass of water over me shortly before the picture was taken, so I was pissed.
I came across this refreshing document because his equally accomplished sister shared it on Facebook.
Here it is:
Here it is:
(If you are interested in Johannes' real resume, it's right here. Prepare to be intimidated.)
Obviously, I had to re-create it for my own life in a somewhat more casual manner, with less grants and more personal stuff.
Here is my tongue-in-cheek history of failures:
Resume of Failures
2002 Dropped out of college in 2002 with no degree whatsoever
2004 Received a "certificate in hospitality" for which I paid $8,000.00, and which only got me an entry-level, minimum-wage job
2016 Blogging for 3 years. Still not blog-famous.
1995 Ended a "relationship" (it was a platonic one) to a guy who had a crush on me, and whom my family loved. They invited him along on our family vacation in France and made me share a tent with him (I was 14, he was 19). He talked about marriage. I was flattered, but uncomfortable. After 10 months I ended it, which resulted in him packing all his stuff in a huff, dramatically stalking out of the house and yelling that he would never return. I was relieved, my family was angry. With me.
1997 Broke up with my first love (whom I thought I would marry) for my second love.
1999 Broke up with my second boyfriend (whom I also thought I would marry).
2001 Got dumped by a guy for my sister, whom he ended up marrying.
2016 36 years old, never been pregnant. What a waste of ovaries.
Aren't these uncannily similar to Johannes' failures? No wonder we were so tight in high school ;-)
What are some of the things you tried that didn't work out?