Wednesday 22 January 2014

Scenes of a marriage

I am still asleep. He bursts into the room, wakes me up and tells me: "Lily peed into her crate. Do something!" I roll my eyes, sigh, get out of bed and clean it up.

I am still asleep. My phone rings: "Babe, how would you feel if we go to California tomorrow?" I squeal in delight.

We are both sick. We are both fed up with being stuck in the house. Still, neither of us wants to do the chores. We bicker and are short with each other all day. 

We are watching TV. He turns to me, looks me in the eyes and says: "Do you know how much I love you? You are the most precious thing in the world to me."

It is Valentine's day. We don't give each other gifts (a mutual decision). He plays with my hair and says: "I don't like your hair. A woman your age (33 at that time) shouldn't let her hair grow long. Cut it short again." I'm mad at him all day. 

It is Monday night. I received a dress in the mail that day and want to show him; I'm so excited about it that I hop and jump into the room. He looks me up and down, nods approvingly, smiles and says: "You are beautiful Miri-Perle." (Perle is German for pearl.)

I do all the housework. 
He cooks for me more and more.

I do the grocery shopping.
He does the oil change on my car.

I try not to complain (too much) when he lies on the couch and watches German TV for hours.
He puts up with me and is patient when crazy mood swings turn me into a madwoman. 

I like to read before bed. 
He needs the TV on. Quite often we don't sleep in the same bed. 
But we always find each other in the morning.

I am high strung.
He is old-fashioned.

I have ants in my pants.
He is calm.

He is the first person I want to call when something great happens. Or something sad. Or nothing special at all.

He can be impossible. Unreasonable. Maddening. Frustrating. 
He also still makes me laugh until my belly hurts.

No two marriages are alike. Every couple has to define their own normal. Our normal may seem pretty strange to others. 

Dr. Seuss put it best:

"We are all a little weird and life is a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."

This post is dedicated to Richard.
We had our 9th wedding anniversary on January 10th and didn't get to celebrate it because we were sick.
You are my love, my life, and my most favourite infuriating person ever. I love you!


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  1. This is sweet - Happy anniversary you two!

    1. We are January wedding buddies! Happy anniversary to you, too!

  2. That's such a sweet letter. Happy anniversary. Wow! 9 years of marital bliss.

  3. Love. Oh my gosh. I think I need to steal this for a post idea. Happy anniversary! Jan 10 is ALSO an important day... my half birthday. Huzzah! :)

  4. Oh Miriam, I love this. And can relate to almost every one. Marriage is really such a roller coaster to me- I can be annoyed as anything all day long and then the next morning be charmed and madly in love. It's almost mercurial. So every time I just can't stand him another second I remember that some time soon I will be back to the point where I just can't cuddle quite close enough.

    And it sounds like you two have a very healthy one, which I think is the most important thing. :)

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  6. This was so beautiful! Happy Anniversary! The way you shared this is so awesome!

  7. Thank you all for the kind words. You are the best!

  8. Melt my heart why don't you :). D and I celebrate 9 years in April.

  9. I just stumbled upon your blog, clicked on the "New Reader? Start Here!" tab, and this is where I landed. Great post! I love your style. I think I will be sticking around for awhile! :)


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