Creating my happy life on the other side of fear.

Monday, 10 February 2014

Do you feel rich?

The other day, I had a good conversation. Well three, actually: First, a very sweet and dignified lady in her 80s advised me to treat other people with respect. She managed an office in her day and told me: "You are only as good as your staff." Something to remember.

Second, my co-worker and I discussed tattoos - the good, bad and ugly. How we both don't have any, both contemplated getting one, but probably never will.
Then the piercings we got in our younger years: belly button (duh, who didn't?), some extra ones in our ears, and a tongue piercing. (That was me in my rebellious phase.)
I can barely believe it myself. This is so not me. Clearly an identity crisis.

But this is not the conversation I want to tell you about today. It's the third one I had that day.
You should know that I love talking to different people. Not always - sometimes all I want is silence. 
But once in a while you get talking to somebody you don't know very well, and it gets surprisingly deep. 

These are the conversations I live for. The unexpected, interesting, thought-provoking, honest ones. When you get a glimpse into someone's soul. When little pearls of wisdom surface and you learn a truth you didn't know before.

We were talking about money at first: how much is enough? Why do we always want more? Are you happier when you have more?
Also, is $500.00 too much for a dress? (Yes, in my opinion. Even if it is designer. I mean, come on, seriously. My conversation partner thought it is an okay price. But then, he is a doctor. Who, despite all my probing, won't tell me how much he earns. Can you believe it?)

We were joking around how everybody always thinks they deserve/need more money. I remember how rich I felt when I started this job 4 years ago: after 2.5 years of going to school and paying to work (gosh, that one sucked) it was an incredible feeling to get paid all of a sudden. Still doing the same job, but now taking home a paycheck? A paycheck that was really good in my opinion? Heaven.

While I was in school I was really careful with my spending. No frivolous purchases like pedicures, yet another ModCloth dress that I don't need but really want, (almost) no unnecessary clothing purchases. It was a bleak time.

So I felt very wealthy indeed when I first started working for real. Anything you make above zero is awesome!
However, you get used to the money, adjust your spending habits, and suddenly it doesn't seem enough once again. I am convinced that we can "adjust" to almost any amount of money. Let's say you have earned $50,000.00/year, and through a miracle you now make $500,000.00.
Would you still buy the $10.00 bottle of wine, or would you reach for a more expensive one? I would.
Maybe that $500.00 dress doesn't seem that outrageous any more?
Instead of shopping at Target, maybe I would go to .... drawing a blank here. I'm kidding of course. I would never stop shopping at Target.

But you get my drift. (Very) long story short, simply making more money won't make you necessarily feel richer.

Coming back to that conversation, my conversation partner (who knows that I'm married) looked me straight in the eyes, and said these memorable words: "You found love and you are happily married. You are rich."

Bam! Humbled I was.
When you live in a relationship that makes you happy, you also sort of get used to that feeling and take it for granted. Just like you get used to a certain amount of money.
Having these little reminders once in a while is so important! I am so grateful for this talk we had.

Because it caused me to stop and look at my life. And to acknowledge the fact that I am a damn lucky girl.
For having found love in an unlikely place (100 Mile House is as random as they come). For somehow having managed to make it work for over 11 years.
For having people come into my life who make me realize how rich I am: I have my Rich!
(I needed to put that in here somehow, as unsmooth as it may be.)

This concludes this rambling post.

Happy Family day!
May it be full of love and revelations for you, too!

xo Miriam

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12 comments

  1. Another great post Miriam! I agree 100 %
    P.S. -I don't think I would stop shopping at Target either. Have you seen the new spring dresses? I want them all!

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    1. Yes I have, they are stunning! I want them all, too!! Have to check out if our local Target has them in store. If not, I'll nip over to the States :-)

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  2. Great post Miriam! I think a lot about incredibly lucky I am to have found my husband and what he has added to my life. I also do not have a tattoo...it's not really me and I could never think of something that I liked enough to have permanently etched into my skin. Have to love random conversations...I found myself in those more often then is probably normal :)

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    1. That's great! Random conversations are the spice of life. Honestly, sometimes it can get a bit boring talking with the same people about the same things day in and day out.

      The only time I ever think of tattoos is when I go wild on pinterest and look at all the cute ones on there. But for realz? Nope, not for me. Gotta be a rebel somehow, and these days I think we are in the minority ;-)

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  3. The other day we were going to play the lotto and so we did the usual what would we do if we won and I realized the only thing I could really think of above buying a house was that I could buy nicer ingredients to cook with and if that was all that I could really come up with then maybe I was a very lucky lady!

    O and I never thought I would get a tattoo but this past summer I got my ring fingers tattooed and I love it!

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    1. Love it! It must have been so painful, right on the bone? I think I'm too whimpy and that's the main reason I probably won't ever get tattooed ;-)
      Rich and I play that "what would we do with a million dollars"- game all the time. And we usually come to the same conclusion as you and your hubby do! We are rich indeed.

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  4. so true! money definitely doesn't buy happiness no matter how much we think it will make us happier. thanks for stopping by my blog and looking forward to reading more of your posts :)
    -- jackie - jade and oak

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    1. Thanks neighbour! ;-)
      I'm glad I found your blog, it's always great to connect with other dog mamas!

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  5. I love Bailie's comment above :) This is good food for thought. I complain much more than I should, but I am very rich indeed.

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    1. So do I - it must be human nature to complain. Or hormones? Yes, let's blame it on hormones!

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  6. Thank you so much for sharing this Mariam. Hugs

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  7. This post has really got me thinking... Thanks for posting, Miriam <3

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