Monday 17 February 2014

Double life

Can I tell you a secret?

(Come closer to the screen, I’ll whisper it in your ear)

I’m leading a double life.

It is an orderly double life, rhythmically moving in and out, like high tide and low tide. Four days of “normal” life filled with work, being realistic, pragmatic, in the here and now.
Then there are the other four days: where I live in a whimsical wonderland where everything is possible, where I dream and create and live my fantasy life. It is full of possibilities, this other life.

It is a life where you dream of everything that you want to accomplish: dream big, be wild and free, be what you want to be. It is filled with nature, the call of the peacocks, croaking of frogs in the spring, the crackling of fire, barking of dogs.
It is filled with books and stories, the telling and the creating.

It is inspired by so many creative souls: people who accomplish, struggle, dream, create, be. They are brave. They are afraid to fail, but try anyway. And they share it with the world, for which I am so grateful.

To rephrase John Green (‘The Fault In Our Stars’): “I fell in love {with this second life} the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.”

Sometimes (very often) I wish that I could always live in the second life. You may have guessed what I'm referring to: it’s my life off work, at home on the farm, with my Rich, the animals, my stories, dreams, and a varying cast of assorted people in it. There is this dream, old and new all at once: of maybe, one day, writing something more than this blog.

But then I think: would my second life lose its shine and splendour without the first one? Get old and boring? I fear it might. There is also the little, not to be underestimated issue of making a living. There has to be some pragmatism amidst all the daydreaming.

The balance cannot be disturbed. At least not yet.

I treasure those four days away from the “real” world. I cannot imagine to relinquish them.

But there are the unexpected, great moments in the normal life as well to consider. The bonding, laughing, pleasure in a job well done. It is work, yes; but it can be satisfying work. 

For now, I enjoy my double life. Will they one day combine into one? We shall see. I can't do the one without the other. 

Not yet. 

Maybe one day...

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  1. I think you are right that the two need to be in unison but one without the other just might not feel as special!

  2. I agree... you need the one, to appreciate the other.

  3. Ahhh!! That is my fav-or-ite line in A Fault In Our Stars - about falling in love the way you fall asleep.

    I feel like the multiple lives we lead are continually merging and dividing into new and old paths. That's part of the fun in the journey!


    1. You are so right! Life is full of surprises, we don't know where exactly it will lead us.
      And that book? I'm so enthralled by it! I try to read it slowly so it will last longer. What a gem it is.

  4. I'm a firm believer is finding balance, no matter the situation. :)

  5. Love this! Finding balance is so essential and can be harder than it should be. Love that you are able to do it. I think I am the only one who hasn't read that book yet. I think I am going to have to get it as soon as I finish the one I am reading now.

  6. Beautifully put. If the second life is the one you are meant to lead only, you will eventually do that. And having the outlook that you do on the other is the way to tackle it for sure. My question really is how you have 8 days in your week.

    (Or you just have a floating schedule. ;))

    1. Also, are those real chickens in the front?! Because those are the most beautiful chickens I have ever seen. I think you are going to need to give me a chicken rundown when it's time for us to get ours!

  7. Oh, how I can relate to this post. I started complaining about my "real" job a lot less when I realized it is what makes me "second life" so sweet. The balance is necessary, you are right. Keep dreaming about the less pragmatic life choices you hope to make one day. I am! :)

  8. Your heeler is adorable!!!! I grew up with a red and a blue... Love them!


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