Wednesday 3 February 2016

Single ladies


I don't know if I have ever mentioned it, but I have never lived alone. When I moved out of my parent's house at 19 I moved into a tiny house with three house mates for one year. After that, I lived with a friend and her boyfriend (side note: bad idea. It wasn't planned that way, he jumped on board in the last minute. They had a tumultuous relationship, and I got stuck in the middle.) That, too only lasted a year.
Then I moved into a student dorm for another year, and after that my Canadian adventure began, meaning I had to live with a boy for the last 13 years.   

(There was also a six-month period where I lived in a hotel in Wales - one of these days I have to tell you the story. I guess you could say I lived alone there? But it was in a hotel, not my own place, so it doesn't really count.) 

For years now, Rich has been going yearly to Germany to visit first his parents, and now his mother since his father passed away a few years back. 

For those two weeks I can pretend that I am a single girl, which is always bewildering, yet also sort of exciting. I have noticed that a side of me comes out that's deeply hidden for the rest of the year:

I don't screen phone calls. 
Usually I'm a ferocious phone screener, rarely picking up. I leave the phone up to Rich, because I'm not a fan (aka scared of it would be more accurate). But as soon as I'm the only one living in the house, I put on my big-girl panties and answer phone calls like a pro! Thanks to that I bagged a dinner invitation, talked to an old friend who will come by for a visit later this week, and channel my inner Carrie Bradshaw by beelining directly to the answering machine as soon as I come home. Who am I?

I eat like I did in college.   
Tortilla chips and salsa are a staple of my diet right now. So are big-ass salads that I shovel into my mouth in a most unladylike fashion. I've had pork gyoza five days in a row for lunch, because I'm currently obsessed and Rich doesn't eat pork. If I don't have gyoza, then it's peanut butter sandwiches or popcorn. I'm in heaven. 

I clean.
Admittedly, the house was in desperate need. Muddy weather + dogs + carpet = if you are a clean freak, you would weep.
I had been planning on buying a deep cleaning machine for some time, but procrastinated. Until yesterday. I woke up with purpose (and disgust at the dirty stairs) and headed straight out to buy myself this little wonder. Last night I spent a happy hour deep cleaning the stairs and attacked every area that has mystery stains. I'm obsessed! 

I buy myself happiness.   
What to do when you're feeling a bit lonely? Go shopping, of course! I've been curbing my spending quite a bit over the last year, but desperate times call for desperate measures. As I ordered my contact lenses yesterday, I tried some glasses on virtually (isn't the internet amazing?), and spontaneously decided to treat myself. 
Here is the pair I ordered from Clearly (formerly known as Clearly Contacts):
Clearly Contacts glasses
Is geek-chic still a thing? I sure hope so. My lifetime goal is that I will be mistaken for a doctor at work just once (my male colleagues are addressed as doctors all the time, it's infuriating), and I'm confident that these babies will make it happen. Right? RIGHT???  

I have long conversations with the animals. 
And not just the dogs, either. Yesterday I told my horse the dream I had (it was a disturbing nightmare), and he completely understood. 
The rabbits and I compare notes on how difficult it is always being so extremely hungry (they eat a lot, and so do I - people at work always make fun of my big-ass container that contains my humongous salads).
I try to empathize with the pregnant sheep, but I have to use my imagination on that one, since I've never been pregnant. One ewe has been due for days now, and she is thoroughly sick of being pregnant. I hope (for her sake) that there will be a baby today!
Barbados sheep

On the other hand, what I can totally get on board with is happy hour. Look at that crowd at the bar!
Happy hour

A few of the peahens having a good old gossip:
"Have you seen what she's wearing?"
"That hussy, she may as well just turn around and let him have his way with her."
"He loves it though, have you seen him preening for her?"
"Pff, guys. So predictable."

"Women. What's their problem?"

That's my life currently. Pretty entertaining!

Do you enjoy being by yourself? Have you ever lived alone and shared any of my behaviour?


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