Friday, 14 March 2014

The voices in my head

Lately, the voices in my head have been louder than usual. They are telling me I'm not good enough. Not popular enough. My life isn't exciting enough.
I'm trying to drown them out, try to ignore them, but they are sneaky. They start whispering when I can't get away. When it's quiet, and I don't have a distraction. They are there at night.
Is your life full enough? Are you successful? Can you be bad at something you are passionate about? 

Success is something I have pondered for a while now. How do you define it? By the amount of money you earn? The promotion you get? The page views and followers?
What if you get all these things but aren't happy? Is that success?
Or, to turn it around: what if you don't get these things, or not a lot of, but are proud of your work, are you a failure? Or is your own pride worth something, worth enough to be called success?

Lately I just feel stuck somehow.
I like my job, but I'm not going anywhere. I'm stagnant. And maybe that's okay, I'm not sure yet.
The same applies to this little space: I love it, but once in a while I get frustrated. I want to be bigger (I think). Maybe make some money? (Not sure.) Want my family to be proud of me (definitely). Want to achieve something (what?). Spread happiness and positivity? I don't know.

All I know is this: I feel I have been in the same place too long, and I need to get moving. I want to break out of this self-imposed shell I have been hiding in for the last few months, and want to start making leaps, grow and develop. In which direction? I don't know yet. But I need to get out of this comfort zone I have been living in. Do things that scare me, look out for opportunities, keep an open mind and heart.

How about you? Do you feel stuck in a rut? In need to shake things up? Let's do it together!
Let's see where this adventure will take us...


Pants: American Eagle (last year); flats: Joe Fresh; top(s): Bootlegger (last year)

Linking up with Lena

Love, Miriam

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6 comments

  1. I feel that way quite a bit...I actually say "I just feel stuck" to P sometimes. I'm not sure I know what my passion is or what really want to do with my life...though I think I should (and I'm old enough) and then I wonder why. I often think is it something that is just me, do other people love their mundane work or at least seem not to mind it (or is it just that "seem" and secretly they are unhappy professionally too or is it I just think it is mundane). That was part of my reason for starting my blog is to practice some new skills/learn...I read somewhere that blogging is suppose to help you find your passion.
    On your musing of can you be bad at your passion...you are asking the wrong question- it should be are you still learning your passion and are you enjoying the effort (maybe not the result but is it because you are learning/practicing). I love the saying "allow yourself to be a beginner no one starts out excellent". Anyway, just wanted to say you are not the only one that feels that way sometimes :) P pulls me out of it and reminds me of the things I have done and still can do...for me part of it is I feel I should have things better figured out and should be better somehow. Good luck kicking that voice out. You have done so much and have so much more to do :) hell, for starters you write a blog in English but your native language is German, that is impressive!
    Now on to more important topics :) I want to know what program you are using to edit your pictures.

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  2. I often feel that way. I think success is just based on however you define it. I think my blog is successful, and I don't make any money, and I "only" have like 400 followers! But do I have fun? Yes. Do I enjoy it? Yes. Well then :) I appreciate you sharing about this, though. I definitely know the feeling, and while I'm not currently in that place, I've been there! And I'm sure, with the ups and downs of life, I'll be there again. Keep you chin up, friend!

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  3. I definitely feel the same way sometimes. I've been trying to bust out of my shell more lately... it's not always easy but it's definitely been worth it. :)

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  4. I have the same thoughts and end up finding myself on the comparison train. That just makes me more frustrated. Then I remind myself of things I love about life. Ruts suck but sometimes the best adventures come out of them :)

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  5. Yes, yes and yes. I know exactly how you feel. I am where I've always wanted to be, but now that I'm here, I don't know what to do. I don't want to take a misstep, but now I feel stagnant.

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  6. yes!! i am hardcore in the same boat. darn you, rut. let me know where you find motivation...because i am in dire need. blog wise and job wise.
    these photos are hilarious, btw. :)

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