Wednesday 28 May 2014

10 reasons why blogging is like dieting

Like most women in the Western world, I'm no stranger to diets. I started when I was a teenager and tried to get rid of my bubble butt - unsuccessfully, for which I'm now very thankful. But at 15, all I wanted was a flat boyish behind, and not that round, sticky-out thing I was cursed with. Combined with my flat feet I felt like a duck, and who in the world would be attracted to ducks? Little did I know that 7 years later I would meet a passionate bird lover and hobby farmer, who actually likes ducks a lot - so I guess there really is a lid for every pot.

I haven't dieted since I was 23 years old, just trying to live a healthy(ish) lifestyle.
Suck it, diets! I feel comfortable in my body nowadays, and have made peace with a round butt, flat feet, and all the other quirks that make my body mine.


I will never, ever forget the agony that is dieting. And it occurred to me the other day, blogging can be a lot like dieting. Don't believe me?
Let me prove it to you!

1. You have thought about it for a long, long time. You know you want to do it. Finally, you are going to!
You are a faithful blog reader. You admire your favourite bloggers, have been following for years, and have been thinking more and more: "I can do this too. I should start a blog!" You know you want to, and finally, the desire is stronger than the doubt and fear. You are going to do it!
Your favourite pants haven't been worn in over a year because they don't fit. You go to bed each night regretting the food choices you made, and wake up each morning avoiding the scale and your reflection in the mirror. You know you want to lose weight, and finally you are determined: You are going to do it!

2. You are super motivated in the beginning. 
Yes, you started your blog! It's awesome, you love it, you are on top of the world. You will become famous! Bigger than Ree Drummond!
Yes, you started your diet! You are super-duper motivated. This time, you will do it! You will get the body of your dreams, become the envy of all girls, and the object of desire for all boys. You will be perfect! Tinier than Victoria Beckham!

3. After a shockingly short amount of time, the first hurdle appears. 
Yikes, this is harder than it looks. Turns out, blogging is hard work. Who would have thought? Reading posts is so much easier than writing them. How can people post every day? My mind is a blank. I don't know what to write about, and it's only week 2.
Yikes, I remember why I hate diets. This is hard. I'm so hungry! Reading about diets is so much easier than doing them. How can I keep going like this? I'm bored with the bland food, and I WANT FRENCH FRIES!

4. Where is the success?
Okay, I have been blogging for a few weeks now, and I only have 5 followers. Hello blog world, why haven't you taken notice yet? I'm delivering quality content! My layout is pretty, easy to read, not too cluttered, everything you told me to. Why aren't I famous yet?
Okay, I have been dieting for a few weeks now, and I only lost 5 pounds. Hello body, why aren't you dropping the fat? I'm doing everything the diet told me to (okay, maybe I shouldn't have eaten half a dozen donuts, but the secret to lasting success is cheat days, right?), and I should be halfway to skinny by now. Why aren't I skinny yet?

5. You think of giving up. 
This sucks. Why did I want to have a blog? I can't remember any more. So much work for no reward, I think I've had it. Why don't I just throw in the towel? I was perfectly happy not having a blog.
This sucks. Diets suck. Is being skinny really worth this torture? Isn't it just vain and shallow? Besides, I should be proud of my body, no matter what. Maybe I should just start to love my body the way it is. Be a role model for chubby girls, spit in the face of a diet-obsessed society. 

6. You are consumed by self doubt and jealousy. 
How is it possible that so-and-so has so many followers already? She just started as well! Her blog isn't any better than mine, is it? What's her secret?
How is it possible that so-and-so managed to stick to her diet and lost all that weight? She was fatter than me, and now she is way skinnier! What's her secret?

7. If you stick to it, you will see results.
Despite all the obstacles, you stuck with it. And it's starting to pay off! You get more comments, you have gained more followers, and you actually really like this whole blogging gig! You are getting good at it!
Despite all the obstacles, you stuck with your diet. And it's starting to pay off! You have lost more pounds, gained some muscle, and you actually really like this diet. It works!

8. You start to dream big - again. 
Now that I know how it all works, I will grow big in no time! I may be the next big blogger after all! Watch out The Daybook, I'm gonna get ya!
Diets work! Who said they don't? Look at me, I may be the next big diet success after all! Watch out Renee Zellweger, I'm gonna get ya!

9. You get setbacks - again. 
I lost followers? Nobody commented on my last post? But why? What did I do wrong? Should I even continue my blog?
I gained weight? Nobody noticed or commented on how much weight I've lost so far? Why? Should I even continue this @#&^%$ diet?

10. Repeat.
Congratulations if you've made it this far. That means you are in for one hell of a roller coaster ride. You will have ups and downs, highs and lows, you will have triumphs, you will despair at times. And it never stops. Welcome to the fun house!

Does this count as confessions? I sure hope so, because I'm linking up with Kathy's humpday confessions.

What do you need to get of your chest? Come on over and tell us!

xoxo Miriam
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  1. I couldn't agree with this more! I've never thought of blogging being so similar to dieting but it is.

  2. Blogging can certainly be very up and down. I've never heard of The Daybook, before, I will have to check it out. I liked the idea of this post a lot...very creative presentation.

  3. hahahah this is so true!! there are a lot of ups and down with blogging and you blog with gusto and then lose your mojo. happens to me all the time.

    Vodka and Soda

  4. Oh goodness this is so so true!! I just hope I've got better dedication with blogging than I ever do with diets!

    Molls xx

    1. I said goodbye to diets over 10 years ago, and feel so much better for it. But blogging is here to stay, I love it despite its negative aspects! I'm addicted ;-)
      Thanks for stopping by!

  5. Hahaha! SPOT ON! I love how you added "repeat" at the end... it's all a sick cycle, dammit!

  6. Perfect! #4-10. So true. Very creative post!

  7. whatever you do... don't do #5 !!!! you are such a talented blogger/writer/photographer....

    1. No worries, I will NEVER give up blogging, I love it too much!
      Thank you so much for the compliment, you are so sweet!

  8. This is so awesome. And so so true. And perfect. And hilarious. Well done!!

    Also, I love the line about there being a lid for every pot. :)


  9. Hahha yes! I'm still waiting for the brands and the publishers to come a knocking.


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