Wednesday 17 July 2013

A little rant about aging

So I'm participating in Elsie and Emma's 30-day-self-portrait-challenge. (Does it sound like we are buddies when I just call them by their first names with no reference to their blog? Because that's my intention. I'm obsessed fangirl over here.)
They take a-mazing photos, and they say you will learn something when you participate for a month. Plus you can win a copy of their new photography book that's coming out on August 13. A signed copy!

More then enough reason for me to do this.
Once the 30 days are up you will get to see the questionable fruits of my labour here - maybe there will be some improvement? (I doubt it, but we shall see.) So stay tuned for August 14!

Anyhoo. What I have noticed by taking all these close-up photos of my own noggin: I have a lot of wrinkes. A LOT. Entirely too many for my relatively young 33 years. What's up with that??
I've always had a few laugh lines around my eyes - I could justify it by telling myself "I just like to laugh a lot. I'm a happy person." But these are no ordinary laugh lines any more. They are the "before" picture in a botox advertisement. And then there are now two lines going from my nose straight to my mouth.
Seriously, where did these come from? Straight from hell?? Overnight??? I swear I didn't have them last month.

Argh, it's so frustrating. I'm all for natural beauty and all that, and I can't see myself ever getting anything "done" - but can't I just not get so many crow's feet? Please? Is it too much too ask??
I'm constantly checking out everybody around me, and I swear, I'm the wrinkliest of them all. So I guess it's no coincidence that I'm letting my hair grow - I need something to hide behind.

What makes it worse is that I used to look young for my age. I was carded in pubs and liquor stores until I was 25. (Not often, but a glorious few times that I shall treasure forever.)
This is all but a distant memory now.
People started calling me "ma'am". Especially kids who want money from me around Christmas time. Kid, you won't get a penny from me when you call me that! Say "miss" and it's all yours.

Nobody thinks any more that me and my hubby look funny together, and he's 25 years older! His cradle robbing days are over.
He has frustratingly good skin and almost no more wrinkles than I do. The unfairness of it all!

I love being in my thirties. Best decade so far! No pimples any more (it was about time after 16 years of bad skin!), a decent job, happy life. Shouldn't complain.
But I miss the days when people couldn't believe that "you are how old? I thought you were [insert -5 years here]".

The newest development: night sweats. I had night sweats 2 nights in a row! Admittedly, it's been very hot the last few days (35 degree Celsius during the day), but it cools down at night. And I never had night sweats before! 
My helpful husband pointed out last night that "maybe it's menopause. Some women get it in their 30s you know." I refuse to get menopause at 33! Haven't gotten over the scars of puberty yet, I'm not.ready.

I have also noticed that my hearing is not what it used to be - I catch myself having to strain more to hear what people are saying. Or is everybody just talking more quietly these days? Is it a movement nobody told me about? Did I not hear them when they talked about it? Oh dear.

Don't even get me started on gravity, that bitch - what's the point in having small boobies when they still try to go south. That was not part of the deal. Small=perky, have you forgotten?
I could go on and on, about back pain, little aches and pains, hangovers that are way worse than what they used to be... but I figure it's getting a bit long already. Are you even still with me? If you are, congratulations! (And thank you.) If not, show some respect to an older lady!

My plan is: stick to older people who make you look young in comparison; wear sunscreen like it's going out of style; and keep looking for the elusive magical rejuvenating cream that will make my wrinkles disappear (and that is affordable to boot).

In the meantime? No photos in this post today. (That's a first.)

And let's just all stop for a moment and thank the computer geeks for photoshop.

Sincerely, Mrs. V


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  2. Oops.. needed to start over.. You look great Miriam!! those close up pictures are never really that flattering! I have to say though that I always feel so much better when I hear you youngin's commenting on your wrinkles and aches and pains.. or how tired we all are after a day of work.. It makes me feel less.. old.. so Thanks Miriam.. for making this grandma feel better today :)

    1. Anytime Carol! Glad to be of service :-) It's true though, the 30s are definitely different from anything before. Makes me scared for the future! Freedom 55 is the answer to that, but it won't quite work for a lot of us...


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