Creating my happy life on the other side of fear.

Thursday, 18 July 2013

"Who am I?"

This thought has been rolling around in my mind for a few days now. I like to evaluate myself and my life on a regular basis: Is it productive? A life worth living? Does it make me happy? Could it be better? Could I be a better person?

Ask yourself: What would be the first thing you would say should someone ask you who you are: A parent? Wife/husband? Is your career your first priority?

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Yesterday I read an interview with Matthew Perry (Chandler Bing from Friends) where he very openly talked about his past as an addict and his new, recovered life. He said during the 10 years he was on the show he defined himself as "an actor on a popular television show".
That is not his number one priority any more. He opened up his former Malibu house as a men's sober living facility to help other people battling drug and alcohol addiction.
In addition, he also become an advocate in the courts, fighting for nonviolent substance abusers to get the help they need instead of being sent to jail. To Matthew Perry, that's a bigger achievement than being known as an actor. That's what he wants people to remember him for.

So what is it for you?
I think for people with a special gift or talent it's more obvious: Art for artists, music for musicians - you get the drift. But what about average people with no 'special' talents? You know, being okay or even decent at a few things but not outstanding in any of them - what about us? I'm really not sure yet.

What prompted me to think about it was, of course, blog-related. Having your own blog forces you to think about who you are, what you represent, what your "brand" is.
A piece of advice I found was to blog about something you are really good at. So you could do tutorials if you want to.
But what if there isn't anything??

Here is a list of some popular blog categories. Let's see if I fit in any of them!
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... a beauty blog? Uhm, let's see: Make-up is and always will be a mystery to me. I'm a mascara and lip gloss kinda girl. (Or no make-up at all to tell the truth.) Never used blush until a friend gave me a make-up kit which included blush for my 33rd (!) birthday and I tried it out. Love it! But I use it so sparingly (very afraid of the clown face) that it's probably invisible. I have never used fake eyelashes, nails, or any sort of hair extensions. My hair "skills" are non-existent. Nope, definitley not a fashion blogger.

... a baking/cooking blog? My formerly macho/I-never-do-anything-in-the-kitchen husband cooks more than I do nowadays. So no.

... a DIY blog? Aahh, DIY. Here's the question: When did crafting become cool? Didn't it used to be a nerdy hobby? Don't get me wrong, I admire people who are handy and creative. Love them! And I'm very happy they have become the cool kids now. Sadly, I'm not one of them.

... a fashion blog? Okay, so that label would make me very happy indeed. I love clothes! Fashion is awesome! Imagining different outfits is my little ritual that helps me fall asleep every night. Different seasons automatically mean outfit choices to me: mention fall and my first thought is dress, tights and boots. What helps me get though winter is the fact that at least you get to wear cozy sweaters, cute hats, big soft scarfs, and a lot of knitwear.
But outfit pictures are hard. And I should probably do my make-up. Which I don't do on most days. So for now let's just say that I inspire to be a fashion blogger one day.

... a farm blog? This is my angle. It should be my niche! I love living on the farm, having all the animals around us, being the farm girl. That's why I chose the name! But here's the honest, cold truth: I know quite little about it. Farming in general? Nope, no idea. Animals in particular? Weeellll... not really that much either. Eeks!
You see, it's my hubby's hobby. He's the one with the agricultural degree, the knowledge, the vision, the passion. I'm just along for the ride, enjoying the fruits of his labour. I fully embrace the lifestyle, but please don't ask me any hard questions - he's the brains of this operation.

... a mommy blog? I have stepkids that I used to mother a bit when they were younger, but now they are all grown up. These days they educate me how the world works (I seem to be out of touch in their eyes) and not the other way around. Sigh.

... a photography blog? Another one I aspire to! Not yet my friends, not yet, but I'm working on it.

... a sewing/crocheing/knitting blog? Absolutely not. Even though I used to knit for a while a few years ago (but only the easiest stitch there is - is it called stitch?), I haven't done it in a loooong time. I wouldn't mind giving sewing a try one day - but don't really see this happening in the near future.

... a travel blog? I did my biggest adventure 11 years ago when I went to Canada, fell in love, packed up my stuff in Germany and moved permanently to BC. So what does that make me - an expat? But I feel Canadian! I'm still German according to my passport but don't feel it any more... confusing. We love to travel, but we don't do a crazy amount of it - it's harder when you have so many animals to think about.
On the bright side, we have 2 trips planned this year, so there's more travel posts to come!

... a writing blog? Here it is my friends, my dirty little secret: I love to write. Love it, love it, LOVE IT!
Let me draw you a little picture about the dream life I wanted for myself when I was around 20 years old:
Me, in a log home in Canada. By a lake. With a pack of dogs, a wonderful husband, maybe a couple of kids. Baking bread, making jam - and writing. Back then I pictured children books.

Hold on for just.a.minute. Isn't life crazy? And wonderful? I had not been to Canada at that point. Had not met my darling husband. Did not know that just 3 years later, I would be living on a farm with dogs, horses, a million birds, kids, and a pond (which is close enough). OMG is all I can say to that. And I believe in the power of the secret.
The bread baking I did for a while, but it petered out. Never got round to the jam making. Maybe one day.

What's left? Yes, my secret wish: maybe being a writer one day...?
Until then I practice with this lovely blog that gives me so many hours of fun, pleasure, inspiration, soul-searching - oh, I just love it.

Let's all just
And my blog category? I guess I don't really fit into any of these categories. It's a bit of a lot of things. So forget about labels, let's grow together, have wild, big dreams and see where they lead us!

What are you dreaming about?

xx Miriam
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1 comment

  1. I appreciate your blog, Miriam, because its like you are.. happy.. Your writing gives us readers a glimpse into your life and who you are. As they say, life is a journey, and you get to take your readers along with you. Trying new things, learning, growing, sharing and that's pretty cool! You'll discover your gifts along the way and some of them might surprise you.

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