Tuesday 28 October 2014

Big-bottomed girls


Hi humans, Lily here.
That's right, I'm a blogger too. Even though I prefer the term cogger - corgi+blogger. Much more accurate. I've watched my mom plenty of times, and it doesn't look hard. Just typing and drinking coffee. I'm not drinking coffee though, I tried it and it is disgusting. Water tastes so much better. I drink it out of mom's glass sometimes when she isn't watching.

I need to talk about butts today. My philosophy is: the bigger and smellier, the better.


Fluffy is best, but you can't all be perfect. That's okay. Here is what I don't understand: Humans saying their butt is "too big". What do you mean, too big? That is not possible. Did we not just agree that bigger is better? If you are the biggest, aren't you the bestest? It is completely logical, and should not be difficult to understand.

You two-legs don't seem too clever sometimes, even though you invented milk bones. You worry too much. Such as about the size of your butts. Life is too short. Listen to someone who's life moves 7 times as fast as yours. I'm only 1 in corgi years, yet 15 years old in human years. Which explains why I'm already so smart - teenagers know everything.


However. Despite my personal philosophy that big and fluffy is cute, small and unfluffy is lovely, too. What you need to remember is: Any size bum is okay. Stop worrying about it. I got a round derriรจre (score!), but my best friend Phoebe doesn't, and she is pretty as can be. Just look at that luxurious, long tail!  And what's most important: we have so much fun together!


As long as you have fun, everything is good.

But one fact remains a mystery to me: How you humans don't greet each other properly. What's up with that paw shaking business? You haven't met someone properly until you have sniffed their butts, round or not round. Or at least their genitals. Think about it, and you will have to agree.

 

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6 comments

  1. This is ridiculously fabulous. I love it! Dogs are amazing - they're adorable, cuddly, loyal, and now they tell us not to worry about our bums??? Definitely a (wo)man's best friend!
    ~ Samantha

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  2. That little Corgi butt is quite cute. Lily is a great writer too. I love that she does give two-legs credit for milk-bones. At least we have that going for us. :)

    -Amy

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  3. Lily, you really are too clever! What a fabulous post, I think you Mama needs to let you have a regular spot on the blog ;)

    xo

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  4. Ha, ha!! I love that Lilly has her own signature!

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  5. I love this post! Lily is adorable.

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