Friday, 24 October 2014

Style: Rain and shine


Happy Friday my friends! It may not look like it, but in some of these photos it is actually raining. But after only 5 or 10 minutes, the rain stopped, and the sun broke though. Since I'm in a reflective mood tonight, I thought it appropriate to use this as a metaphor for life. Yes, that's right, let's go deep!
 
This time of year lends itself to reflection, don't you think? The juxtaposition of nature slowing down, yet the beginning of a busy social season (Thanksgiving, Halloween, Christmas, New Year's) gets my thinking (and creative) juices flowing. My birthday is coming up in December, and that, too gets me in a contemplative mood. Where am I in life? Have I reached my goals? How are all the skeletons in my closet doing?
Oh, have I not mentioned my skeletons yet? No, I don't think I have. Well, it's about time!
 
My skeletons are all those tedious little annoyances that have accumulated over time: Conflicts, goals I tried to achieve (but didn't), changes I planned to make (but didn't), unresolved problems. In short, unfinished business. The things that keep you up at night. Stuff that you carry around with you at the back of your mind - that you try to forget, but never manage to forget for long.
 
Until about a year ago, that list was a mile long. The skeletons were so plentiful, they formed an army; an army that sometimes threatened to run me over and leave me lying defeated, with no strength left to get back up. They all had one thing in common: they had to do with people. Mostly it was open or subtle conflicts, usually with family or friends; and then there were all those extra tasks I had agreed to, but that left me stressed out and overworked.  
Often I worried that I didn't do life right: Did I have enough friends? Was I a nice enough person? Should I be more ambitions? Or less? Was I missing out on anything?
 
But lately, I find myself less and less worried about these things. When it comes to dealing with people, I have finally, finally come to a few conclusions: 
I am worthy of respect - if someone doesn't treat me with such, I will eliminate that person from my life.
That means, of course, trying to treat every person with kindness and respect as well. If there are misunderstandings, talk about them, don't let them fester.
When it comes to friends, quality over quantity wins every time. 
Not everybody will like me, and that's okay. Don't sweat it!

Nice'n easy, isn't it? And to think that it took me almost 35 years to finally get it! But knowing it and applying it to your own life are two very different things. Over the last year, something has clicked. It's difficult to find the right words - I have found myself, grown into myself, found an inner calm and confidence that doesn't rely on outside approval. I know that I'm good enough.   

As for life's little problems: I am more aware now that after rain, there will always be sunshine. Even the most horrible day will pass, and the next one won't be as bad. I believe that with all my heart: life can always get better! 
And that's just the most comforting thought.

Pose copied from the fabulous Amy (imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right?!)

Sweater: Joe Fresh (last year); hat: Joe Fresh (old); skirt: Le Chateau (very old); tights: Shoppers Drug Mart; boots: Sterling Shoes (old); necklace: Smart Set (old); umbrella: forgotten at our house
by a friend, never returned (you lose, I use)


Yay for Friday!

xo Miriam

Linking up with Rachel the Hat and Penniless Socialite

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10 comments

  1. i realized those things too a while ago, but like you said.. it's different when you have to apply it to real life. but we'll get there, i'm sure of it. thanks for this post :)

    + your new hair looks amazing! it suits you.

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  2. You are absolutely right - if someone doesn't respect you, you don't need them in your life. I've come to terms with the fact that not everyone will like me, too. If they don't, oh well!
    I'll be honest, I often think I don't "do life right"...I mean what other explanation would there be for sitting in a parking lot for over an hour (ouch)? There are a lot of little things that happen in college that definitely make me question everything. It's hard to get through sometimes but even having made it the past few years (one left!) has felt amazing and taught me more than any textbook or lecture. I really hope that I can get to the point you're at one day! You're such an inspiration!
    ~ Samantha
    PS I agree with D^^ Your new hair looks so great on you!

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  3. You're blue skirt makes me so happy =) It is the perfect way to say "I am defying the gloominess!" Loving the tights, as well. Work it girl =)

    Addie
    http://oldworldnewgirl.wordpress.com

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  4. Love, love the picture with the doggie :) I think it is the knowing the year is wrapping up and it gets you thinking what I have done this year. You have it double though with a birthday in December! So glad you are feeling in a good place and taking good steps to stay there!! Always quality or quantity!

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  5. I think 35 is a turning point for a lot of things. Finally "getting it" is a big one.
    Those tights are so cool! And I love Joe Fresh!

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  6. Love the blue and the grey mix! And your pup is so adorable. I am also a fan of unique tights !
    from the link up,
    please stop by, jess xx
    http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com/

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Jess! The greyer the day, the brighter the clothes should be - if that's not a fashion rule yet, it ought to be!
      Thanks for stopping by again!

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  7. I completely agree with you regarding friends... quality over quantity!!!!

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  8. I love the outfit. And I can relate to having those skeletons and unfinished business. Sometimes unfinished business can be the worst burden to carry. It always makes me wonder what if? I used to want to have a lot of friends but now I agree it is better to have a few quality friends then tons of people in your life who when hard times come up or any major change they seem to disappear on you.

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  9. That is such a large umbrella. I wonder if the umbrellas in the PNW are larger than the umbrellas in NM. It stands to reason, since, you know, you guys use them a heck of a lot more than we do.

    Cute outfit, as always! :) And quality over quantity always. You're on the right track.

    -Amy

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