We say "I love you" to each other every day (because I'm needy, and he likes to hear it, too). But one thing Rich is really bad at? Giving a good compliment. His specialty is the "odd compliment".
Here is a random selection of Rich's 10 most commonly used ones:
1. "You are the best sleeping pill." Isn't this what every girl wants to hear? (NO!) Without going into too much detail: Rich has sleeping problems, but he sleeps like a baby after - well, let's call it sexy time. That gem came out of his mouth after a really good sleep he'd had.
2. "You have hobbit feet." Like any girl, I like a foot massage. And like the sweet husband he (sometimes) is, he quite often obliges. The price for this though? Listening to his weird comments about my feet. I know I don't have the prettiest feet around. Who likes their feet? Foot models? Well, I bet even they have bad feet days.
Anyways, he never stops telling me that I have "the fattest big toe ever", "duck feet", and a "crippled little toe".
3. "You have a womanly body." He has also called me "solid" and "sturdy". But, he hastens to add, "in a good way." For the longest time all I ever heard was "you are fat", even though he never meant that. What he really means is: I like your body. He just words it unusually.
4. He calls my butt my "anchor". I have a bubble butt. It sticks out, it's large and in charge. After agonizing over it and only wearing super-long shirts and sweaters in 9th grade in an attempt to hide it, I decided to (sort of) embrace it. Rich loves my butt, but he always calls it "anchor". And that's just annoying.
5. "You walk like a gazelle ... or what's that big, grey animal with a trunk called?" Ha ha Richard. At least people can hear me coming, and I don't cause near-heart attacks on a regular basis.
6. Do you like being picked up by your man? I do. It makes me feel girly, dainty and cute. I also like to tease him (when he wants to refuse, which happens often): "I'm as light as a feather!" Richard's response: "Yes, a steel feather."
7. "Women your age shouldn't have long hair." OMG, where to start?? First of all, I'm 33 years old. Second of all, Rich made the grave mistake to mention this last Valentine's day. Of all the days! You should know that I'm currently growing my hair out after 11 or so years of short hair. Rich liked my short hair. And you all know that growing hair out is a pain and a seemingly never-ending series of bad hair days. But seriously??
There was no loving on that Valentine's day, let me tell ya.
8. "You have a potato nose." Meaning it's quite wide. He thinks it's cute? I hope so, I'm stuck with that thing.
9. "I love your floppy ear." One of my ears is floppier than the other. I never even noticed that (in 23 years) until he pointed it out. At least he notices the little details?!
10. "You have the pointiest knees." It's true, but I happen to like them. And so does he, secretly (I think).
What pearls of wisdom have your men come up with?
xo Miriam
Yeah my husband sometimes says stuff like this and it is just like oooo ok
ReplyDeleteMen! They are a strange breed
DeleteOh geez. Men. It's not quite the same, but Peyton once told me I say thank you too much. I didn't realize that was a problem until then... He definitely has many moments like this though, I guess my mind has just learned to filter them out!
ReplyDeleteI take that back. Just yesterday he came up to me and looked at my belly (I'm 22 weeks pregnant) and said "You're getting HUGE." Thanks honey. As if I wasn't feeling awesome already about the fact that yoga pants are my only clothing option these days. He explained that he loved it and it was pregi belly, but I also had to point out that with 18 weeks left, I am no where near "huge" yet.
DeleteI've seen your picture and you are TINY! You look amazing!!
DeleteMen are so stupid sometimes.
Too funny! My husband tells me I have sandpaper feet because my skin gets so dry and cracks in the winter. He also tells me that I can never get a "mom" haircut because he likes my hair long and wild. I have the opposite problem than you because I want to cut it to above my shoulders.
ReplyDeleteHaha! Riley is the king of odd compliments, too. He always, always gives "compliments" in the worst way possible without even realizing it. At least I know it's coming from an innocent place. Also, I have the pointiest elbows. ;)
ReplyDelete